instructions for revising an essay

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Steps for Revising Your Paper

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When you have plenty of time to revise, use the time to work on your paper and to take breaks from writing. If you can forget about your draft for a day or two, you may return to it with a fresh outlook. During the revising process, put your writing aside at least twice—once during the first part of the process, when you are reorganizing your work, and once during the second part, when you are polishing and paying attention to details.

Use the following questions to evaluate your drafts. You can use your responses to revise your papers by reorganizing them to make your best points stand out, by adding needed information, by eliminating irrelevant information, and by clarifying sections or sentences.

Find your main point.

What are you trying to say in the paper? In other words, try to summarize your thesis, or main point, and the evidence you are using to support that point. Try to imagine that this paper belongs to someone else. Does the paper have a clear thesis? Do you know what the paper is going to be about?

Identify your readers and your purpose.

What are you trying to do in the paper? In other words, are you trying to argue with the reading, to analyze the reading, to evaluate the reading, to apply the reading to another situation, or to accomplish another goal?

Evaluate your evidence.

Does the body of your paper support your thesis? Do you offer enough evidence to support your claim? If you are using quotations from the text as evidence, did you cite them properly?

Save only the good pieces.

Do all of the ideas relate back to the thesis? Is there anything that doesn't seem to fit? If so, you either need to change your thesis to reflect the idea or cut the idea.

Tighten and clean up your language.

Do all of the ideas in the paper make sense? Are there unclear or confusing ideas or sentences? Read your paper out loud and listen for awkward pauses and unclear ideas. Cut out extra words, vagueness, and misused words.

Visit the Purdue OWL's vidcast on cutting during the revision phase for more help with this task.

Eliminate mistakes in grammar and usage.

Do you see any problems with grammar, punctuation, or spelling? If you think something is wrong, you should make a note of it, even if you don't know how to fix it. You can always talk to a Writing Lab tutor about how to correct errors.

Switch from writer-centered to reader-centered.

Try to detach yourself from what you've written; pretend that you are reviewing someone else's work. What would you say is the most successful part of your paper? Why? How could this part be made even better? What would you say is the least successful part of your paper? Why? How could this part be improved?

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8.4 Revising and Editing

Learning objectives.

• Identify major areas of concern in the draft essay during revising and editing.
• Use peer reviews and editing checklists to assist revising and editing.
• Revise and edit the first draft of your essay and produce a final draft.

Revising and editing are the two tasks you undertake to significantly improve your essay. Both are very important elements of the writing process. You may think that a completed first draft means little improvement is needed. However, even experienced writers need to improve their drafts and rely on peers during revising and editing. You may know that athletes miss catches, fumble balls, or overshoot goals. Dancers forget steps, turn too slowly, or miss beats. For both athletes and dancers, the more they practice, the stronger their performance will become. Web designers seek better images, a more clever design, or a more appealing background for their web pages. Writing has the same capacity to profit from improvement and revision.

Understanding the Purpose of Revising and Editing

Revising and editing allow you to examine two important aspects of your writing separately, so that you can give each task your undivided attention.

• When you revise , you take a second look at your ideas. You might add, cut, move, or change information in order to make your ideas clearer, more accurate, more interesting, or more convincing.
• When you edit , you take a second look at how you expressed your ideas. You add or change words. You fix any problems in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. You improve your writing style. You make your essay into a polished, mature piece of writing, the end product of your best efforts.

How do you get the best out of your revisions and editing? Here are some strategies that writers have developed to look at their first drafts from a fresh perspective. Try them over the course of this semester; then keep using the ones that bring results.

• Take a break. You are proud of what you wrote, but you might be too close to it to make changes. Set aside your writing for a few hours or even a day until you can look at it objectively.
• Ask someone you trust for feedback and constructive criticism.
• Pretend you are one of your readers. Are you satisfied or dissatisfied? Why?
• Use the resources that your college provides. Find out where your school’s writing lab is located and ask about the assistance they provide online and in person.

Many people hear the words critic , critical , and criticism and pick up only negative vibes that provoke feelings that make them blush, grumble, or shout. However, as a writer and a thinker, you need to learn to be critical of yourself in a positive way and have high expectations for your work. You also need to train your eye and trust your ability to fix what needs fixing. For this, you need to teach yourself where to look.

Creating Unity and Coherence

Following your outline closely offers you a reasonable guarantee that your writing will stay on purpose and not drift away from the controlling idea. However, when writers are rushed, are tired, or cannot find the right words, their writing may become less than they want it to be. Their writing may no longer be clear and concise, and they may be adding information that is not needed to develop the main idea.

When a piece of writing has unity , all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay clearly belong and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense. When the writing has coherence , the ideas flow smoothly. The wording clearly indicates how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and from paragraph to paragraph.

Reading your writing aloud will often help you find problems with unity and coherence. Listen for the clarity and flow of your ideas. Identify places where you find yourself confused, and write a note to yourself about possible fixes.

Creating Unity

Sometimes writers get caught up in the moment and cannot resist a good digression. Even though you might enjoy such detours when you chat with friends, unplanned digressions usually harm a piece of writing.

Mariah stayed close to her outline when she drafted the three body paragraphs of her essay she tentatively titled “Digital Technology: The Newest and the Best at What Price?” But a recent shopping trip for an HDTV upset her enough that she digressed from the main topic of her third paragraph and included comments about the sales staff at the electronics store she visited. When she revised her essay, she deleted the off-topic sentences that affected the unity of the paragraph.

Read the following paragraph twice, the first time without Mariah’s changes, and the second time with them.

Nothing is more confusing to me than choosing among televisions. It confuses lots of people who want a new high-definition digital television (HDTV) with a large screen to watch sports and DVDs on. You could listen to the guys in the electronics store, but word has it they know little more than you do. They want to sell what they have in stock, not what best fits your needs. You face decisions you never had to make with the old, bulky picture-tube televisions. Screen resolution means the number of horizontal scan lines the screen can show. This resolution is often 1080p, or full HD, or 768p. The trouble is that if you have a smaller screen, 32 inches or 37 inches diagonal, you won’t be able to tell the difference with the naked eye. The 1080p televisions cost more, though, so those are what the salespeople want you to buy. They get bigger commissions. The other important decision you face as you walk around the sales floor is whether to get a plasma screen or an LCD screen. Now here the salespeople may finally give you decent info. Plasma flat-panel television screens can be much larger in diameter than their LCD rivals. Plasma screens show truer blacks and can be viewed at a wider angle than current LCD screens. But be careful and tell the salesperson you have budget constraints. Large flat-panel plasma screens are much more expensive than flat-screen LCD models. Don’t let someone make you by more television than you need!

Answer the following two questions about Mariah’s paragraph:

Collaboration

Please share with a classmate and compare your answers.

• Now start to revise the first draft of the essay you wrote in Section 8 “Writing Your Own First Draft” . Reread it to find any statements that affect the unity of your writing. Decide how best to revise.

When you reread your writing to find revisions to make, look for each type of problem in a separate sweep. Read it straight through once to locate any problems with unity. Read it straight through a second time to find problems with coherence. You may follow this same practice during many stages of the writing process.

Writing at Work

Many companies hire copyeditors and proofreaders to help them produce the cleanest possible final drafts of large writing projects. Copyeditors are responsible for suggesting revisions and style changes; proofreaders check documents for any errors in capitalization, spelling, and punctuation that have crept in. Many times, these tasks are done on a freelance basis, with one freelancer working for a variety of clients.

Creating Coherence

Careful writers use transitions to clarify how the ideas in their sentences and paragraphs are related. These words and phrases help the writing flow smoothly. Adding transitions is not the only way to improve coherence, but they are often useful and give a mature feel to your essays. Table 8.3 “Common Transitional Words and Phrases” groups many common transitions according to their purpose.

Table 8.3 Common Transitional Words and Phrases

After Maria revised for unity, she next examined her paragraph about televisions to check for coherence. She looked for places where she needed to add a transition or perhaps reword the text to make the flow of ideas clear. In the version that follows, she has already deleted the sentences that were off topic.

Many writers make their revisions on a printed copy and then transfer them to the version on-screen. They conventionally use a small arrow called a caret (^) to show where to insert an addition or correction.

1. Answer the following questions about Mariah’s revised paragraph.

2. Now return to the first draft of the essay you wrote in Section 8 “Writing Your Own First Draft” and revise it for coherence. Add transition words and phrases where they are needed, and make any other changes that are needed to improve the flow and connection between ideas.

Being Clear and Concise

Some writers are very methodical and painstaking when they write a first draft. Other writers unleash a lot of words in order to get out all that they feel they need to say. Do either of these composing styles match your style? Or is your composing style somewhere in between? No matter which description best fits you, the first draft of almost every piece of writing, no matter its author, can be made clearer and more concise.

If you have a tendency to write too much, you will need to look for unnecessary words. If you have a tendency to be vague or imprecise in your wording, you will need to find specific words to replace any overly general language.

Identifying Wordiness

Sometimes writers use too many words when fewer words will appeal more to their audience and better fit their purpose. Here are some common examples of wordiness to look for in your draft. Eliminating wordiness helps all readers, because it makes your ideas clear, direct, and straightforward.

Sentences that begin with There is or There are .

Wordy: There are two major experiments that the Biology Department sponsors.

Revised: The Biology Department sponsors two major experiments.

Sentences with unnecessary modifiers.

Wordy: Two extremely famous and well-known consumer advocates spoke eloquently in favor of the proposed important legislation.

Revised: Two well-known consumer advocates spoke in favor of the proposed legislation.

Sentences with deadwood phrases that add little to the meaning. Be judicious when you use phrases such as in terms of , with a mind to , on the subject of , as to whether or not , more or less , as far as…is concerned , and similar expressions. You can usually find a more straightforward way to state your point.

Wordy: As a world leader in the field of green technology, the company plans to focus its efforts in the area of geothermal energy.

A report as to whether or not to use geysers as an energy source is in the process of preparation.

Revised: As a world leader in green technology, the company plans to focus on geothermal energy.

A report about using geysers as an energy source is in preparation.

Sentences in the passive voice or with forms of the verb to be . Sentences with passive-voice verbs often create confusion, because the subject of the sentence does not perform an action. Sentences are clearer when the subject of the sentence performs the action and is followed by a strong verb. Use strong active-voice verbs in place of forms of to be , which can lead to wordiness. Avoid passive voice when you can.

Wordy: It might perhaps be said that using a GPS device is something that is a benefit to drivers who have a poor sense of direction.

Revised: Using a GPS device benefits drivers who have a poor sense of direction.

Sentences with constructions that can be shortened.

Wordy: The e-book reader, which is a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone.

My over-sixty uncle bought an e-book reader, and his wife bought an e-book reader, too.

Revised: The e-book reader, a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone.

My over-sixty uncle and his wife both bought e-book readers.

Now return once more to the first draft of the essay you have been revising. Check it for unnecessary words. Try making your sentences as concise as they can be.

Choosing Specific, Appropriate Words

Most college essays should be written in formal English suitable for an academic situation. Follow these principles to be sure that your word choice is appropriate. For more information about word choice, see Chapter 4 “Working with Words: Which Word Is Right?” .

• Avoid slang. Find alternatives to bummer , kewl , and rad .
• Avoid language that is overly casual. Write about “men and women” rather than “girls and guys” unless you are trying to create a specific effect. A formal tone calls for formal language.
• Avoid contractions. Use do not in place of don’t , I am in place of I’m , have not in place of haven’t , and so on. Contractions are considered casual speech.
• Avoid clichés. Overused expressions such as green with envy , face the music , better late than never , and similar expressions are empty of meaning and may not appeal to your audience.
• Be careful when you use words that sound alike but have different meanings. Some examples are allusion/illusion , complement/compliment , council/counsel , concurrent/consecutive , founder/flounder , and historic/historical . When in doubt, check a dictionary.
• Choose words with the connotations you want. Choosing a word for its connotations is as important in formal essay writing as it is in all kinds of writing. Compare the positive connotations of the word proud and the negative connotations of arrogant and conceited .
• Use specific words rather than overly general words. Find synonyms for thing , people , nice , good , bad , interesting , and other vague words. Or use specific details to make your exact meaning clear.

Now read the revisions Mariah made to make her third paragraph clearer and more concise. She has already incorporated the changes she made to improve unity and coherence.

1. Answer the following questions about Mariah’s revised paragraph:

2. Now return once more to your essay in progress. Read carefully for problems with word choice. Be sure that your draft is written in formal language and that your word choice is specific and appropriate.

Completing a Peer Review

After working so closely with a piece of writing, writers often need to step back and ask for a more objective reader. What writers most need is feedback from readers who can respond only to the words on the page. When they are ready, writers show their drafts to someone they respect and who can give an honest response about its strengths and weaknesses.

You, too, can ask a peer to read your draft when it is ready. After evaluating the feedback and assessing what is most helpful, the reader’s feedback will help you when you revise your draft. This process is called peer review .

You can work with a partner in your class and identify specific ways to strengthen each other’s essays. Although you may be uncomfortable sharing your writing at first, remember that each writer is working toward the same goal: a final draft that fits the audience and the purpose. Maintaining a positive attitude when providing feedback will put you and your partner at ease. The box that follows provides a useful framework for the peer review session.

Questions for Peer Review

Title of essay: ____________________________________________

Date: ____________________________________________

Writer’s name: ____________________________________________

Peer reviewer’s name: _________________________________________

• This essay is about____________________________________________.
• Your main points in this essay are____________________________________________.
• What I most liked about this essay is____________________________________________.

These three points struck me as your strongest:

These places in your essay are not clear to me:

a. Where: ____________________________________________

Needs improvement because__________________________________________

b. Where: ____________________________________________

Needs improvement because ____________________________________________

c. Where: ____________________________________________

The one additional change you could make that would improve this essay significantly is ____________________________________________.

One of the reasons why word-processing programs build in a reviewing feature is that workgroups have become a common feature in many businesses. Writing is often collaborative, and the members of a workgroup and their supervisors often critique group members’ work and offer feedback that will lead to a better final product.

Exchange essays with a classmate and complete a peer review of each other’s draft in progress. Remember to give positive feedback and to be courteous and polite in your responses. Focus on providing one positive comment and one question for more information to the author.

Using Feedback Objectively

The purpose of peer feedback is to receive constructive criticism of your essay. Your peer reviewer is your first real audience, and you have the opportunity to learn what confuses and delights a reader so that you can improve your work before sharing the final draft with a wider audience (or your intended audience).

It may not be necessary to incorporate every recommendation your peer reviewer makes. However, if you start to observe a pattern in the responses you receive from peer reviewers, you might want to take that feedback into consideration in future assignments. For example, if you read consistent comments about a need for more research, then you may want to consider including more research in future assignments.

Using Feedback from Multiple Sources

You might get feedback from more than one reader as you share different stages of your revised draft. In this situation, you may receive feedback from readers who do not understand the assignment or who lack your involvement with and enthusiasm for it.

You need to evaluate the responses you receive according to two important criteria:

• Determine if the feedback supports the purpose of the assignment.
• Determine if the suggested revisions are appropriate to the audience.

Then, using these standards, accept or reject revision feedback.

Work with two partners. Go back to Note 8.81 “Exercise 4” in this lesson and compare your responses to Activity A, about Mariah’s paragraph, with your partners’. Recall Mariah’s purpose for writing and her audience. Then, working individually, list where you agree and where you disagree about revision needs.

Editing Your Draft

If you have been incorporating each set of revisions as Mariah has, you have produced multiple drafts of your writing. So far, all your changes have been content changes. Perhaps with the help of peer feedback, you have made sure that you sufficiently supported your ideas. You have checked for problems with unity and coherence. You have examined your essay for word choice, revising to cut unnecessary words and to replace weak wording with specific and appropriate wording.

The next step after revising the content is editing. When you edit, you examine the surface features of your text. You examine your spelling, grammar, usage, and punctuation. You also make sure you use the proper format when creating your finished assignment.

Editing often takes time. Budgeting time into the writing process allows you to complete additional edits after revising. Editing and proofreading your writing helps you create a finished work that represents your best efforts. Here are a few more tips to remember about your readers:

• Readers do not notice correct spelling, but they do notice misspellings.
• Readers look past your sentences to get to your ideas—unless the sentences are awkward, poorly constructed, and frustrating to read.
• Readers notice when every sentence has the same rhythm as every other sentence, with no variety.
• Readers do not cheer when you use there , their , and they’re correctly, but they notice when you do not.
• Readers will notice the care with which you handled your assignment and your attention to detail in the delivery of an error-free document..

The first section of this book offers a useful review of grammar, mechanics, and usage. Use it to help you eliminate major errors in your writing and refine your understanding of the conventions of language. Do not hesitate to ask for help, too, from peer tutors in your academic department or in the college’s writing lab. In the meantime, use the checklist to help you edit your writing.

Editing Your Writing

• Are some sentences actually sentence fragments?
• Are some sentences run-on sentences? How can I correct them?
• Do some sentences need conjunctions between independent clauses?
• Does every verb agree with its subject?
• Is every verb in the correct tense?
• Are tense forms, especially for irregular verbs, written correctly?
• Have I used subject, object, and possessive personal pronouns correctly?
• Have I used who and whom correctly?
• Is the antecedent of every pronoun clear?
• Do all personal pronouns agree with their antecedents?
• Have I used the correct comparative and superlative forms of adjectives and adverbs?
• Is it clear which word a participial phrase modifies, or is it a dangling modifier?

Sentence Structure

• Are all my sentences simple sentences, or do I vary my sentence structure?
• Have I chosen the best coordinating or subordinating conjunctions to join clauses?
• Have I created long, overpacked sentences that should be shortened for clarity?
• Do I see any mistakes in parallel structure?

Punctuation

• Does every sentence end with the correct end punctuation?
• Can I justify the use of every exclamation point?
• Have I used apostrophes correctly to write all singular and plural possessive forms?
• Have I used quotation marks correctly?

Mechanics and Usage

• Can I find any spelling errors? How can I correct them?
• Have I used capital letters where they are needed?
• Have I written abbreviations, where allowed, correctly?
• Can I find any errors in the use of commonly confused words, such as to / too / two ?

Be careful about relying too much on spelling checkers and grammar checkers. A spelling checker cannot recognize that you meant to write principle but wrote principal instead. A grammar checker often queries constructions that are perfectly correct. The program does not understand your meaning; it makes its check against a general set of formulas that might not apply in each instance. If you use a grammar checker, accept the suggestions that make sense, but consider why the suggestions came up.

Proofreading requires patience; it is very easy to read past a mistake. Set your paper aside for at least a few hours, if not a day or more, so your mind will rest. Some professional proofreaders read a text backward so they can concentrate on spelling and punctuation. Another helpful technique is to slowly read a paper aloud, paying attention to every word, letter, and punctuation mark.

If you need additional proofreading help, ask a reliable friend, a classmate, or a peer tutor to make a final pass on your paper to look for anything you missed.

Remember to use proper format when creating your finished assignment. Sometimes an instructor, a department, or a college will require students to follow specific instructions on titles, margins, page numbers, or the location of the writer’s name. These requirements may be more detailed and rigid for research projects and term papers, which often observe the American Psychological Association (APA) or Modern Language Association (MLA) style guides, especially when citations of sources are included.

To ensure the format is correct and follows any specific instructions, make a final check before you submit an assignment.

With the help of the checklist, edit and proofread your essay.

Key Takeaways

• Revising and editing are the stages of the writing process in which you improve your work before producing a final draft.
• During revising, you add, cut, move, or change information in order to improve content.
• During editing, you take a second look at the words and sentences you used to express your ideas and fix any problems in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.
• Unity in writing means that all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay clearly belong together and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense.
• Coherence in writing means that the writer’s wording clearly indicates how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and between paragraphs.
• Transitional words and phrases effectively make writing more coherent.
• Writing should be clear and concise, with no unnecessary words.
• Effective formal writing uses specific, appropriate words and avoids slang, contractions, clichés, and overly general words.
• Peer reviews, done properly, can give writers objective feedback about their writing. It is the writer’s responsibility to evaluate the results of peer reviews and incorporate only useful feedback.
• Remember to budget time for careful editing and proofreading. Use all available resources, including editing checklists, peer editing, and your institution’s writing lab, to improve your editing skills.

Writing for Success Copyright © 2015 by University of Minnesota is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

An Essay Revision Checklist

Guidelines for Revising a Composition

Maica / Getty Images

• Ph.D., Rhetoric and English, University of Georgia
• M.A., Modern English and American Literature, University of Leicester
• B.A., English, State University of New York

Revision  means looking again at what we have written to see how we can improve it. Some of us start revising as soon as we begin a rough  draft —restructuring and rearranging sentences as we work out our ideas. Then we return to the draft, perhaps several times, to make further revisions.

Revision as Opportunity

Revising is an opportunity to reconsider our topic, our readers, even our purpose for writing . Taking the time to rethink our approach may encourage us to make major changes in the content and structure of our work.

As a general rule, the best time to revise is not right after you've completed a draft (although at times this is unavoidable). Instead, wait a few hours—even a day or two, if possible—in order to gain some distance from your work. This way you'll be less protective of your writing and better prepared to make changes. 

One last bit of advice: read your work aloud when you revise. You may hear problems in your writing that you can't see.

"Never think that what you've written can't be improved. You should always try to make the sentence that much better and make a scene that much clearer. Go over and over the words and reshape them as many times as is needed," (Tracy Chevalier, "Why I Write." The Guardian , 24 Nov. 2006).

Revision Checklist

• Does the essay have a clear and concise main idea? Is this idea made clear to the reader in a thesis statement early in the essay (usually in the introduction )?
• Does the essay have a specific purpose (such as to inform, entertain, evaluate, or persuade)? Have you made this purpose clear to the reader?
• Does the introduction create interest in the topic and make your audience want to read on?
• Is there a clear plan and sense of organization to the essay? Does each paragraph develop logically from the previous one?
• Is each paragraph clearly related to the main idea of the essay? Is there enough information in the essay to support the main idea?
• Is the main point of each paragraph clear? Is each point adequately and clearly defined in a topic sentence and supported with specific details ?
• Are there clear transitions from one paragraph to the next? Have key words and ideas been given proper emphasis in the sentences and paragraphs?
• Are the sentences clear and direct? Can they be understood on the first reading? Are the sentences varied in length and structure? Could any sentences be improved by combining or restructuring them?
• Are the words in the essay clear and precise? Does the essay maintain a consistent tone ?
• Does the essay have an effective conclusion —one that emphasizes the main idea and provides a sense of completeness?

Once you have finished revising your essay, you can turn your attention to the finer details of editing and proofreading your work.

Line Editing Checklist

• Is each sentence  clear and complete ?
• Can any short, choppy sentences be improved by  combining  them?
• Can any long, awkward sentences be improved by breaking them down into shorter units and recombining them?
• Can any wordy sentences be made more  concise ?
• Can any  run-on sentences  be more effectively  coordinated  or  subordinated ?
• Does  each verb agree with its subject ?
• Are all  verb  forms correct and consistent?
• Do  pronouns  refer clearly to the appropriate  nouns ?
• Do all  modifying words and phrases  refer clearly to the words they are intended to modify?
• Is each word  spelled  correctly?
• Is the  punctuation  correct?
• Examples of Great Introductory Paragraphs
• Revision and Editing Checklist for a Narrative Essay
• revision (composition)
• 11 Quick Tips to Improve Your Writing
• An Introduction to Academic Writing
• 6 Steps to Writing the Perfect Personal Essay
• Conciseness for Better Composition
• Paragraph Writing
• How Do You Edit an Essay?
• Self-Evaluation of Essays
• The Difference Between Revising and Editing
• What Is Expository Writing?
• How To Write an Essay
• Development in Composition: Building an Essay
• Editing and Proofreading Marks in Composition
• Make Your Paragraphs Flow to Improve Writing

The Writing Process

Making expository writing less stressful, more efficient, and more enlightening, search form, you are here.

• Step 4: Revise

Instructions for Revising

"Few of my novels contain a single sentence that closely resembles the sentence I first set down. I just find that I have to keep zapping and zapping the English language until it starts to behave in some way that vaguely matches my intentions." —Michael Cunningham

Thus when you finish the first draft,

• Let it sit, preferably at least 24 hours, but certainly several hours.
• Print out a clean copy.
• Read it all the way through with no pen in your hand. You will see things you want to change and will get a good look at the “forest” this way without getting caught up in changing individual tress.
• Then write down some notes at the end of the clean copy: what do YOU notice and believe needs to be done to the paper globally?
• Then go read or others’ comments. Do you agree?  Of course, if it’s your professor’s comments, you may not have much choice but to make the changes. But if you disagree with your professor’s comments or don’t understand, be sure to ask her about it! If the comments are from a classmate, however, and they suggest a change you disagree with them about, don't make it. (If two of your classmates say the same thing, it would probably be wise to listen to them!)
• If you see a small error such as a misspelled word or an incorrect verb tense, of course, go ahead and change it, but generally focus on global changes for now—i.e., add, rewrite, and delete sentences or paragraphs, reorder the paper, and so on.
• Be sure to SAVE EACH DRAFT WITH A NEW NUMBER, such as "Alien Invation_1," "Alien Invasion_2," and so on, BEFORE you start making changes! You may cut something that you find you want to add back later.
• After you have put in a set of revisions, let the paper sit for another day and then repeat the revision process as many times as possible.
• Only then, when you feel the paper is structurally complete, move on to Step 5, Editing .

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Revision Strategies

Revision Strategies  

Why is Revising Important? What is Revision? 

Now what? You’ve done your research, written your paper, but the big question now is: what do you do next? Answer: Revise. Although it can be a daunting word, revision is the time during your writing when you can carefully go back over your paper to fix any mistakes that may confuse or trip up your reader. Revision is a time to smooth out the flow of your thoughts through transitioning between your paragraphs, to make sure that each of your paragraphs are balanced with supporting evidence and your own original thought, and to look at sentence level edits like grammar and sentence flow in the final stages. While most see this as a time to make sure commas are in the right place, revision is for looking at the big picture just as much as the fine details and below are some tips and tricks to get you started!      

How do I Go About it?   

One of the first steps in the revision process is making sure you set aside enough time to properly edit your paper. If you finish a paper twenty minutes before it’s due, then there is little you can do to revise it. Although sometimes it’s hard to find time to write and revise amidst your busy schedule, I promise it’s worth it!   

Writing a paper a few days before it is due will allow you to take a step back and edit the big and small details without the pressure of a looming deadline. This will also give you time to consult writing tutors, your classmates, or your teacher if you find you need help during the process. The ratio of planned writing time to revision is usually along the lines of 70/30 or 80/20 depending on the type of writing assignment you have.   

For example, if you are assigned an 8-page research paper, then you are more than likely going to spend 70% of your timing writing and 30% of your time revising since you will have more writing that needs revising before you turn it. This is versus if you are assigned a 1-page reflection essay that requires you to spend more time writing at 80% and only about 20% of your time revising since there is only so much writing that can fit onto one page.        

Let’s face it, many of us get bored while writing. Taking a brief moment to step back after writing your first draft to do other things will allow you to return to the assignment later with fresh eyes in order to spot any errors that you may have missed before.   

The Big Picture   

When thinking about revision, our minds often jump to making sentence-level edits first. However, revision is much more than that!   

The first step in any revision process is taking a step back to look at the big picture. Does your paper have an introduction with a thesis statement? Does it have complete and coherent body paragraphs? What about a conclusion that sums up the main focus of your paper for the reader one last time? For a better understanding of how a typical essay is organized, check out “How is it Organized?” on our Reading Strategies page. 

Keep in mind that the Big Picture also includes any rubrics or assignment guidelines that your teacher may have given you. It’s important to note requirements like word/paper length during writing and revision as you don’t want to have a complete paper only to realize at the end that you missed the word count or forgot to include three scholarly sources. For more tips on how to keep rubrics and requirements in mind click here to jump to our section on assignment guidelines . Link to rubrics and assignments guidelines sections below.      

Main Intent 

Start with the main intent of your paper which is found in the ‘thesis statement.’ The thesis statement is included in the introduction paragraph and is typically found at the conclusion of the paragraph. It tells what the text will focus on and how the writer plans to achieve this. Do you state clearly and concisely what your paper will achieve and why and/or how? Do your body paragraphs support your thesis statement? Does your conclusion paragraph match your thesis statement? If you make sure that every part of your paper can be brought back to your thesis statement, then your paper will be more well-rounded and fluent.  

Note the thesis statement that is highlighted in yellow from an analysis paper on the biblical prophetess Deborah below.  

This thesis statement tells what the body paragraphs will analyze: “these texts” (analysis being the how ). It also tells why : because “they are more important in setting an example for woman of all ages by displaying how God uses a female to undertake several predominantly male roles, as He resorts to His preferred method of using the unexpected, or, in this case, a woman, to conquer a problem.”  

The following paragraphs in the paper will analyze the biblical texts that mention Deborah in order to show the reader that God uses women in male roles, an aspect that the writer found while analyzing the texts. We can assume that certain body paragraphs will inform us of the texts and others will attempt to prove the writer’s reasoning with supporting evidence from other sources.  

Paragraphs 

When reviewing your body paragraphs, you may want to consider why you are writing your paper. Are you trying to argue, persuade, or analyze? Does the structure of your paper enable you to do so? For example, a research paper is different from a persuasive paper since a persuasive paper is trying to persuade t he reader to see a topic as the writer does while a research paper focuses on objectively analyzing available sources of a topic to come to a conclusion, without regards to the writer’s personal opinion. So , the persuasive paper will have paragraphs that inform the reader of a topic, but also paragraphs that attempt to prove to the reader why their stance is the best stance on the topic.    

Topic Sentences tell the intent and focus of a paragraph. Most of the time they are original thought or observation. They can sometimes be used to attract the reader’s attention to a certain issue or point by giving a preview of what the paragraph is about which propels them to keep reading. Topic sentences are typically found at the beginning and ending of a paragraph to introduce and then sum up the points mentioned within the paragraph.  

For example, if you were to write a topic sentence for a paragraph in the aforementioned Deborah essay stating that it is hard to properly analyze the biblical texts because women prophets, especially Deborah, are sadly not as studied as male prophets, a poor intro topic sentence for paragraph might be:  

“Many people find it difficult to study the texts with Deborah in them because there is little research done on female prophets.” 

While we are able to see that this paragraph will focus on the aspect of female prophets and that it is hard to study the texts with Deborah in them because there is little research on female prophets, there is no transition from the last paragraph to connect the thoughts of the paper nor is the sentence specific about who the “many people” are.    

Whereas a more defined topic sentence with proper transitioning between paragraphs and one that introduces the full intent of the paragraph might be:   

“Although the only apparent struggles in analyzing such texts could be seen through their aforementioned slight detailed differences, a majority of scholars find textual difficulties presented in the lack of focus on female prophets in general.”   

This topic sentence, which is the first sentence of the paragraph, transitions the reader from the paragraph before it by using a good transition phrase starting with the word “Although.” “Although” is generally used to compare and contrast ideas, and ere it is used to do just that.   

By acknowledging the intent of the paragraph before it as well as previous research in general, this makes the previous information relevant to this paragraph since the content of this paragraph will be slightly contrasting since the writer is stating that this is actually the biggest issue in analysis not the other ones previously stated even though they are important too.   

The second half of the sentence also serves to tell the intent of the paragraph. Here as the reader, we know that we are going to be presented with sources that support the idea that there is a lack of focus on female prophets in general which makes it hard to study them.   

Some questions to ask might be:  

•   Do your paragraphs have a clear topic sentence? Do your topic sentences tell the main intent of that specific paragraph? Is it one clear point? If not, you may want to pick the point that best describes the content in your paragraph.    
• Do your paragraphs transition smoothly? What draws your attention during reading? Is it to the things that you want to draw attention to?  

Examples/Evidence provide a foundation atop which you can build your paper on. Teachers will typically give a minimum or maximum number of sources that you can have in your paper within the rubric or assignment guidelines. Always remember to pick sources that will best support the main intent of your paper and the assignment’s requirements. However, try to keep an open mind when you’re choosing your sources. When you’re writing a paper, you want sources that will support your argument, but, if you’re struggling to find any, try reconsidering your initial idea . It’s okay to be wrong, and it’s okay to revise and change; that’s all part of the process of learning. What you want to avoid is pulling bits and pieces from sources that don’t agree with your argument. This is called ‘cherry-picking’, and it can actually make writing a paper harder, since you have to construct writing that fits your sources, instead of finding sources that fit your writing. Some questions to ask would be:  

• Do your paragraphs have enough examples, quotes, paraphrasing, and summary from other sources to provide support for the main topic of each paragraph? Do you have more quotes than paraphrasing or vice vera?  
• Sometimes it may work better to have a quote rather than summary; however, keep in mind that well-rounded papers typically have an even amount of all in order to keep the audience’s attention and show that you know what you are talking about.    
• Do you explain why you included that examples, quotes, paraphrasing, or summary with a follow-up sentence on how it supports your argument or research? Does your inclusion of this example lead into the idea of your next sentence?  
• Sometimes having too many sources can drown out your own thought, so be sure to keep an eye out to see if your paragraphs are balanced with original thought and other sources.    

One way to check if your paragraphs are complete is by putting them to the PREP test:  

P oint: Does your paragraph have an introduction topic sentence? What is this paragraph going to be about?   

R eason: Does your paragraph give reasoning for your topic sentence? Why do you think this way, or why is your point valid?   

E xample: Does your paragraph provide an example/ evidence from supporting sources that backup your reasoning. Do you provide quotes, and/or paraphrasing, and/or summary from other sources?  

P oint: Does your paragraph have a conclusion topic sentence? Does it sum up/(re)state the focus of the paragraph without being repetitive? Does it provide a smooth transition into your next paragraph?    

Structural Edits 

Structural Edits are just what the name hints at: they involve the overall structure, or layout, of your paper. When doing structural edits, you are looking at how your paragraphs are arranged and how the sentences within them are arranged.   

Are your paragraphs arranged in a way that promotes the best flow of thoughts and transitions between them? Are your sentences arranged in a way that enables the reader to follow your thoughts while reading? Or are your paragraphs choppy and jump from idea to idea without any rhyme or reason?    

Here are a few different ways of how to go about Structural Edits:    

The Outline Method  

As you reread your paper, create an outline as you go. Do not look at your original outline but follow the flow of your written paper.   

Note where your introduction and thesis are. What does your introduction introduce and how? Note where each of your paragraphs are, what the focus of each paragraph is, what supporting and/or challenging evidence does it provide, and where their topic sentences are. Finally, note where your conclusion is. Does it sum up everything in your paper well?   

Once you finish, you should have an outline that looks somewhat like this:  

(Access a downloadable copy of the  Outline Method here.)

Now pull your original outline back out. Does your current outline and original outline match in the same places? If not, look and see how and why. Are your paragraphs in reverse order? Do you have holes in your new outline where you haven’t supported a point in one of your paragraphs? Are your topic sentences in the middle of one of your paragraphs instead of at the beginning or end? Does this work for that particular paragraph (sometimes it can depending on the length and focus of the paragraph)?   

Please note that outlines are meant to be flexible, so if your current outline doesn’t 100% match the original outline THIS IS OKAY because some changes are good! As you write and revise, you are usually able to feel and see if it makes more sense to put one paragraph in a different place or to use one source but not the other. Most of the time you know when something doesn’t look or sound right as you’re writing or editing. Just make sure that your new outline matches the main points you are trying to focus on in the original outline. Trust your instincts and, if you are not sure, consult a writing tutor, your classmates, or your teacher for advice on how to revise your paper.    

One last thing to remember is the above outline is an outline for a basic essay. If you are doing scientific research or writing a business proposal, your outline is bound to look different. However, the same basic principles still apply. Read your writing, create an outline of your writing from your reading, and consult and compare your original and current outline to see if you need to change anything.         

The PowerPoint Method  

If you are a visual leaner, one way to help you visualize your paper is by copying and pasting your paragraphs onto PowerPoint slides. Put one paragraph on a slide from beginning to end (ex: Introduction is on the first slide and Conclusion is on the last slide). Now read your paper both in your head or out loud if that helps. Does your paper flow well in the order that it is in? Try moving some of the slides around. Does it read better if Paragraph 2 is in front of Paragraph 1? While you won’t always need to rearrange your paragraphs, if you are finding that your paper is a little hard to read or choppy, using the PowerPoint method can help you see if it is the layout that is affecting your paper’s flow.   

Sentences   

Note that you could also use the same method when looking at the sentences in one of your paragraphs if it harder to read. Create a PowerPoint and try putting one sentence on each slide. Now seeing if moving some slides around in a different order helps the paragraph to be read better or be understood more easily. Do you find that you need an example to backup up one of your own statements in the paragraph? Do sentences 4 and 5 need to be rearranged to make everything clearer? Do you need to delete a sentence in order for everything to be connected better?     

The Paragraph-Cutting Method 

If you’re a hands-on learner this might be just the thing for you!  

Paragraph cutting is much like the PowerPoint Method. If you’re not comfortable with PowerPoint or don’t have the time, print your paper out and lay it in front of you. With scissors, cut the paragraphs out and line them up top to bottom from introduction to conclusion and start reading.  

Just like the PowerPoint method, you can rearrange the paragraphs to see what layout best fits your paper and intent. You can also use this method on individual paragraphs by cutting up the sentences and rearranging them as noted above.  

During this time, you might realize that a sentence you have in Paragraph 1 might actually fit better in Paragraph 3, so you can physically cut it out and move it to the other paragraph. Once you are done take a picture of your finished structure just in case you forget your edits later, and then transfer your edits into your actual paper.        

The Highlighting Method 

The Highlighting Method is a simple way to check the structure of your paper and assess what you do or don’t have in your paper as well. With at least 4 different colored highlighters (or more depending on the type of paper you’re writing or what your rubric asks you to include) highlight the different elements of your paper. Maybe you want your thesis and topic sentences to be highlighted in blue and your supporting evidence to be highlighted in orange. The Highlighting Method gives you a chance to see the placement and type of sentences you have in each paragraph by color-coordinating. This not only helps you to assess your paragraphs but also how much or how little you have in each paragraph.        

   Note in the example of the Highlighter Method above:  

• Topic sentences (which are original thought or observation) are highlighted in yellow.   
• Quotes are highlighted in green.   
• Summary is highlighted in blue. 
• Paraphrasing is highlighted in gray.   
• Anything that is not highlighted is original thought from the writer.   

The end result: This method allows us to see that this paragraph is balanced with original thought as well as a variety of sources and ways in which the writer was able incorporate them into her paragraph.  

Rubrics and Assignment Guidelines  

Teachers typically give a rubric or assignment guideline when assigning a paper so make sure to consult it when you start the revision process to remind yourself what you need to include in your paper. They are extremely helpful in making sure that you have all the big bases covered in your writing since they include what the teacher expects to find when reading your paper, such as word length, formatting, number and type of sources, and how clear your points are.      

It might be helpful for you to print out a copy of the rubric or assignment guideline for yourself and check off if you meet each of paper’s requirements when revising. If you find that you have the box for word length checked off but don’t have enough sources to meet the minimum for the source requirement, this gives you a chance to find additional sources and incorporate them into your paper before the deadline.  

Rubrics and assignment guidelines can be your best friends when you’re revising! Don’t be afraid of using them to your advantage during the revision process!    

Sentence Level Edits   While it’s essential to make sure that there are no issues with the overall structure of your paper, you should also look at some of the smaller problems. You can go about tackling some of the sentence-level edits by proofreading your paper.   

Proofreading   Proofreading is usually the final step when it comes to revising. This is when you read over your paper specifically to look for any mistakes involving things such as spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Even though revising involves more than just checking your grammar, it’s still important to make sure that your paper is grammatically correct. Having grammatical errors in your paper can not only cause you to lose points on your assignment, but it can also cause your readers to become confused and misunderstand what you’re trying to say. Before you begin this process, you should doublecheck to make sure that you’ve handled any larger issues first, such as problems with the organization, style or formatting issues, etc. If everything’s correct, then you’re ready to take a look at the grammatical errors.  While proofreading may seem like a tedious process, there are a few strategies that may help you.  

Proofreading Strategies 

Set your work to the side for a little while.   After you’ve spent some time writing and revising a paper, you become very familiar with it. You know what it says, or what it’s supposed to say. However, this familiarity can actually be a hindrance when it comes to trying to proofread. So, after you’ve finished with your major revisions, consider setting your paper to the side for a bit, maybe overnight, or even just for a few hours if you’re short on time. That way, when you come back to it, you’ll have a fresh perspective to begin proofreading with.  

Don’t just use Spellcheck.   Spellcheck, or any program like it, is a very useful tool when it comes to proofreading. You should always make sure to use it before turning in an assignment, as it can catch errors that you might not have noticed. However, you should not rely on it. There are certain problems that it can’t catch, or that it may miss, so you should look back over your paper after using Spellcheck on it.  

Print out a hard copy.   Printing out a hard copy of your paper has some of the same benefits as setting it aside for a few days. By the time you’ve reached the proofreading stage of revision, you’ll have already become very familiar with your paper, and you’ll have become used to seeing it on a screen. When you print your paper out, you’ll be seeing it in a new format, which can make it easier to spot errors. Also, having a hard copy of your paper gives you the opportunity to mark-up a physical copy of your work.  

Read your work out loud.   Reading your work out loud can help you find grammatical errors, but it’s mainly useful for making sure that your sentences flow together and don’t sound awkward. Something that looks good on paper may actually end up sounding disjointed. This is a great way to ensure that your writing is cohesive. Reading aloud in front of a friend or family member can also be helpful for identifying these types of errors. They may be able to catch things that you may not notice.   

Look for one type of error at a time.   Proofreading may seem like a daunting task, as it encompasses so many things. A way to make it less intimidating can be that you only focus on looking for one type of error at a time. For example, on your first read-through, you look for any spelling errors. Then, on your second read-through, you look for any comma errors. This can help to make the proofreading process a little more manageable.  

Ask another person to review it.   Once you’re finished proofreading your paper, it can still be helpful to have another set of eyes look over it. Like with setting your work aside, or printing out a hard copy, having a fresh perspective look over the paper can be helpful. You can ask a friend or family member to read your work, or you can always make an appointment with a consultant at the Writing Center to go over your paper. If you’d like to set up an appointment with a consultant, click here .   

Many people have trouble knowing when and where to use a comma in their sentences. This can lead to confusion in their readers, because, depending on where a comma is placed, it can change the meaning of the sentence completely. Below are a few general rules that can help you check and make sure that your paper uses commas correctly.  

If you still need some help with this, click here for some more examples of proper comma use.  

Subject Verb Agreement 

Another common mistake that people make while writing a paper is that, in their sentences, their subjects and verbs don’t agree. Subjects and verbs agree when they are both singular or plural, and in the same “person” (first person, third person, etc.). An example of subject-verb agreement would be: “I am” or “he is”, while an example of subject-verb disagreement would be: “He am” or “I is”.    

Here are a few rules you should keep in mind to make sure that your subjects and verbs agree throughout your paper.   

If you still need some help with this, click here for some more examples of subject-verb agreement.  

Active and Passive Voice 

While you’re working on your paper, you should always make sure to keep your writing in the active voice, and not the passive voice. The difference between the two is that in the active voice, the subject of your sentence is performing the action, while in the passive voice, the subject is receiving the action. That may sound confusing, so here’s an example to show you what they both look like.  

Active Voice Example: The hero saved the day.   

Passive Voice Example: The day was saved by the hero.  

In the first example, the subject of the sentence, the hero, is performing the verb. He is actively saving the day. However, in the second example, the action already happened. It’s in the past; the day was saved.   

In your writing, you want to avoid phrases that sound like the second example. The active voice is typically clearer, which makes it easier for your readers to understand what it is that you’re trying to say.   

While you’re editing your writing, if you come across a sentence that includes a “by the…” phrase, that sentence is probably written in the passive voice. You can fix it by rearranging some of your words.   

For example: The knight was kidnapped by the dragon .  

You see we have a “by the” phrase. That means that this sentence is written in the passive voice, so, what we need to do is reorganize. Who is actually doing something in this sentence? The dragon, he is actively kidnapping the knight. The knight is being useless and doing nothing, so why should he be the star of the sentence? He shouldn’t be; the dragon should be the subject instead. So, he and the knight switch places. If the dragon is the new subject, then we need to update our verb as well.  

So, our new sentence would be: The dragon kidnapped the knight.  

This sentence is written in the active voice, because the subject of the sentence, the dragon, is the one who is doing something.   

If you still need some help with this, click here for some more examples of how to change passive voice sentences into active voice.   

Questions to Keep You on Track   

As you’re revising your paper, feel free to use the questions below to help you through the revision process.   

Print out your own checklist here.

References  

Academic Guides. (n.d.). Writing a Paper: Proofreading .  https://academicguides.waldenu.edu/writingcenter/writingprocess/proofreading .   

Hobart and William Smith Colleges. (n.d.). Academics: Revision Strategies . https://www.hws.edu/academics/ctl/writes_revision.aspx .  

Lumen. (n.d.). Guide to Writing . https://courses.lumenlearning.com/styleguide/chapter/subject-verb-agreement/ .   

Purdue Writing Lab. (n.d.). Changing Passive to Active Voice // Purdue Writing Lab . Purdue Writing Lab. https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/academic_writing/active_and_passive_voice/changing_passive_to_active_voice.html .  

Student Success. (n.d.). Commas (Eight Basic Uses) . https://www.iue.edu/student-success/coursework/commas.html .  

The Writing Center. (n.d.). Subject-Verb Agreement .  https://writingcenter.gmu.edu/guides/subject-verb-agreement .  

Editing and Proofreading

What this handout is about.

This handout provides some tips and strategies for revising your writing. To give you a chance to practice proofreading, we have left seven errors (three spelling errors, two punctuation errors, and two grammatical errors) in the text of this handout. See if you can spot them!

Is editing the same thing as proofreading?

Not exactly. Although many people use the terms interchangeably, editing and proofreading are two different stages of the revision process. Both demand close and careful reading, but they focus on different aspects of the writing and employ different techniques.

Some tips that apply to both editing and proofreading

• Get some distance from the text! It’s hard to edit or proofread a paper that you’ve just finished writing—it’s still to familiar, and you tend to skip over a lot of errors. Put the paper aside for a few hours, days, or weeks. Go for a run. Take a trip to the beach. Clear your head of what you’ve written so you can take a fresh look at the paper and see what is really on the page. Better yet, give the paper to a friend—you can’t get much more distance than that. Someone who is reading the paper for the first time, comes to it with completely fresh eyes.
• Decide which medium lets you proofread most carefully. Some people like to work right at the computer, while others like to sit back with a printed copy that they can mark up as they read.
• Try changing the look of your document. Altering the size, spacing, color, or style of the text may trick your brain into thinking it’s seeing an unfamiliar document, and that can help you get a different perspective on what you’ve written.
• Find a quiet place to work. Don’t try to do your proofreading in front of the TV or while you’re chugging away on the treadmill. Find a place where you can concentrate and avoid distractions.
• If possible, do your editing and proofreading in several short blocks of time. Your concentration may start to wane if you try to proofread the entire text at one time.
• If you’re short on time, you may wish to prioritize. Make sure that you complete the most important editing and proofreading tasks.

Editing is what you begin doing as soon as you finish your first draft. You reread your draft to see, for example, whether the paper is well-organized, the transitions between paragraphs are smooth, and your evidence really backs up your argument. You can edit on several levels:

Have you done everything the assignment requires? Are the claims you make accurate? If it is required to do so, does your paper make an argument? Is the argument complete? Are all of your claims consistent? Have you supported each point with adequate evidence? Is all of the information in your paper relevant to the assignment and/or your overall writing goal? (For additional tips, see our handouts on understanding assignments and developing an argument .)

Overall structure

Does your paper have an appropriate introduction and conclusion? Is your thesis clearly stated in your introduction? Is it clear how each paragraph in the body of your paper is related to your thesis? Are the paragraphs arranged in a logical sequence? Have you made clear transitions between paragraphs? One way to check the structure of your paper is to make a reverse outline of the paper after you have written the first draft. (See our handouts on introductions , conclusions , thesis statements , and transitions .)

Structure within paragraphs

Does each paragraph have a clear topic sentence? Does each paragraph stick to one main idea? Are there any extraneous or missing sentences in any of your paragraphs? (See our handout on paragraph development .)

Have you defined any important terms that might be unclear to your reader? Is the meaning of each sentence clear? (One way to answer this question is to read your paper one sentence at a time, starting at the end and working backwards so that you will not unconsciously fill in content from previous sentences.) Is it clear what each pronoun (he, she, it, they, which, who, this, etc.) refers to? Have you chosen the proper words to express your ideas? Avoid using words you find in the thesaurus that aren’t part of your normal vocabulary; you may misuse them.

Have you used an appropriate tone (formal, informal, persuasive, etc.)? Is your use of gendered language (masculine and feminine pronouns like “he” or “she,” words like “fireman” that contain “man,” and words that some people incorrectly assume apply to only one gender—for example, some people assume “nurse” must refer to a woman) appropriate? Have you varied the length and structure of your sentences? Do you tends to use the passive voice too often? Does your writing contain a lot of unnecessary phrases like “there is,” “there are,” “due to the fact that,” etc.? Do you repeat a strong word (for example, a vivid main verb) unnecessarily? (For tips, see our handouts on style and gender-inclusive language .)

Have you appropriately cited quotes, paraphrases, and ideas you got from sources? Are your citations in the correct format? (See the UNC Libraries citation tutorial for more information.)

As you edit at all of these levels, you will usually make significant revisions to the content and wording of your paper. Keep an eye out for patterns of error; knowing what kinds of problems you tend to have will be helpful, especially if you are editing a large document like a thesis or dissertation. Once you have identified a pattern, you can develop techniques for spotting and correcting future instances of that pattern. For example, if you notice that you often discuss several distinct topics in each paragraph, you can go through your paper and underline the key words in each paragraph, then break the paragraphs up so that each one focuses on just one main idea.

Proofreading

Proofreading is the final stage of the editing process, focusing on surface errors such as misspellings and mistakes in grammar and punctuation. You should proofread only after you have finished all of your other editing revisions.

Why proofread? It’s the content that really matters, right?

Content is important. But like it or not, the way a paper looks affects the way others judge it. When you’ve worked hard to develop and present your ideas, you don’t want careless errors distracting your reader from what you have to say. It’s worth paying attention to the details that help you to make a good impression.

Most people devote only a few minutes to proofreading, hoping to catch any glaring errors that jump out from the page. But a quick and cursory reading, especially after you’ve been working long and hard on a paper, usually misses a lot. It’s better to work with a definite plan that helps you to search systematically for specific kinds of errors.

Sure, this takes a little extra time, but it pays off in the end. If you know that you have an effective way to catch errors when the paper is almost finished, you can worry less about editing while you are writing your first drafts. This makes the entire writing proccess more efficient.

Try to keep the editing and proofreading processes separate. When you are editing an early draft, you don’t want to be bothered with thinking about punctuation, grammar, and spelling. If your worrying about the spelling of a word or the placement of a comma, you’re not focusing on the more important task of developing and connecting ideas.

The proofreading process

You probably already use some of the strategies discussed below. Experiment with different tactics until you find a system that works well for you. The important thing is to make the process systematic and focused so that you catch as many errors as possible in the least amount of time.

• Don’t rely entirely on spelling checkers. These can be useful tools but they are far from foolproof. Spell checkers have a limited dictionary, so some words that show up as misspelled may really just not be in their memory. In addition, spell checkers will not catch misspellings that form another valid word. For example, if you type “your” instead of “you’re,” “to” instead of “too,” or “there” instead of “their,” the spell checker won’t catch the error.
• Grammar checkers can be even more problematic. These programs work with a limited number of rules, so they can’t identify every error and often make mistakes. They also fail to give thorough explanations to help you understand why a sentence should be revised. You may want to use a grammar checker to help you identify potential run-on sentences or too-frequent use of the passive voice, but you need to be able to evaluate the feedback it provides.
• Proofread for only one kind of error at a time. If you try to identify and revise too many things at once, you risk losing focus, and your proofreading will be less effective. It’s easier to catch grammar errors if you aren’t checking punctuation and spelling at the same time. In addition, some of the techniques that work well for spotting one kind of mistake won’t catch others.
• Read slow, and read every word. Try reading out loud , which forces you to say each word and also lets you hear how the words sound together. When you read silently or too quickly, you may skip over errors or make unconscious corrections.
• Separate the text into individual sentences. This is another technique to help you to read every sentence carefully. Simply press the return key after every period so that every line begins a new sentence. Then read each sentence separately, looking for grammar, punctuation, or spelling errors. If you’re working with a printed copy, try using an opaque object like a ruler or a piece of paper to isolate the line you’re working on.
• Circle every punctuation mark. This forces you to look at each one. As you circle, ask yourself if the punctuation is correct.
• Read the paper backwards. This technique is helpful for checking spelling. Start with the last word on the last page and work your way back to the beginning, reading each word separately. Because content, punctuation, and grammar won’t make any sense, your focus will be entirely on the spelling of each word. You can also read backwards sentence by sentence to check grammar; this will help you avoid becoming distracted by content issues.
• Proofreading is a learning process. You’re not just looking for errors that you recognize; you’re also learning to recognize and correct new errors. This is where handbooks and dictionaries come in. Keep the ones you find helpful close at hand as you proofread.
• Ignorance may be bliss, but it won’t make you a better proofreader. You’ll often find things that don’t seem quite right to you, but you may not be quite sure what’s wrong either. A word looks like it might be misspelled, but the spell checker didn’t catch it. You think you need a comma between two words, but you’re not sure why. Should you use “that” instead of “which”? If you’re not sure about something, look it up.
• The proofreading process becomes more efficient as you develop and practice a systematic strategy. You’ll learn to identify the specific areas of your own writing that need careful attention, and knowing that you have a sound method for finding errors will help you to focus more on developing your ideas while you are drafting the paper.

Think you’ve got it?

Then give it a try, if you haven’t already! This handout contains seven errors our proofreader should have caught: three spelling errors, two punctuation errors, and two grammatical errors. Try to find them, and then check a version of this page with the errors marked in red to see if you’re a proofreading star.

Works consulted

We consulted these works while writing this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find additional publications. Please do not use this list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial . We revise these tips periodically and welcome feedback.

Especially for non-native speakers of English:

Ascher, Allen. 2006. Think About Editing: An ESL Guide for the Harbrace Handbooks . Boston: Wadsworth Cengage Learning.

Lane, Janet, and Ellen Lange. 2012. Writing Clearly: Grammar for Editing , 3rd ed. Boston: Heinle.

For everyone:

Einsohn, Amy. 2011. The Copyeditor’s Handbook: A Guide for Book Publishing and Corporate Communications , 3rd ed. Berkeley: University of California Press.

Lanham, Richard A. 2006. Revising Prose , 5th ed. New York: Pearson Longman.

Tarshis, Barry. 1998. How to Be Your Own Best Editor: The Toolkit for Everyone Who Writes . New York: Three Rivers Press.

You may reproduce it for non-commercial use if you use the entire handout and attribute the source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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Want to create or adapt books like this? Learn more about how Pressbooks supports open publishing practices.

Chapter 12. Peer Review and Final Revisions

12.1 revision, learning objectives.

• Identify major areas of concern in the draft essay during revising
• Use peer reviews and checklists to assist revising
• Revise your paper to improve organization and cohesion
• Determine an appropriate style and tone for your paper
• Revise to ensure that your tone is consistent
• Revise the first draft of your essay and produce a final draft

Revising and editing are the two tasks you undertake to significantly improve your essay. Both are very important elements of the writing process. You may think that a completed first draft means that little improvement is needed. However, even experienced writers need to improve their drafts and rely on peers during revising and editing. You may know that athletes miss catches, fumble balls, or overshoot goals. Dancers forget steps, turn too slowly, or miss beats. For both athletes and dancers, the more they practise, the stronger their performance will become. Web designers seek better images, a more clever design, or a more appealing background for their web pages. Writing has the same capacity to profit from improvement and revision.

You should revise and edit in stages: do not expect to catch everything in one go. If each time you review your essay you focus on a different aspect of construction, you will be more likely to catch any mistakes or identify any issues. Throughout this chapter, you will see a number of checklists containing specific things to look for with each revision. For example, you will first look at how the overall paper and your ideas are organized.

In the second section of this chapter, you will focus more on editing: correcting the mechanical issues. Also at the end of the chapter, you will see a comprehensive but more general list of things you should be looking for.

Understanding the Purpose of Revising and Editing

Revising and editing allow you to examine two important aspects of your writing separately, so that you can give each task your undivided attention.

When you  revise , you take a second look at your ideas . You might add, cut, move, or change information in order to make your ideas clearer, more accurate, more interesting, or more convincing.

When you  edit , you take a second look at how you expressed your ideas . You add or change words. You fix any problems in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. You improve your writing style. You make your essay into a polished, mature piece of writing, the end product of your best efforts.

How do you get the best out of your revisions and editing? Here are some strategies that writers have developed to look at their first drafts from a fresh perspective. Try them throughout the writing process; then keep using the ones that bring results.

Take a break. You are proud of what you wrote, but you might be too close to it to make changes. Set aside your writing for a few hours or even a day until you can look at it objectively.

Ask someone you trust for feedback and constructive criticism.

Pretend you are one of your readers. Are you satisfied or dissatisfied? Why?

For many people, the words  critic ,  critical , and  criticism provoke only negative feelings that make them blush, grumble, or shout. However, as a writer and a thinker, you need to learn to be critical of yourself in a positive way and have high expectations for your work. You also need to train your eye and trust your ability to fix what needs fixing. To do this, you need to teach yourself where to look.

Revising Your Paper: Organization , Cohesion , and Unity

When writing a research paper, it is easy to become overly focused on editorial details, such as the proper format for bibliographical entries. These details do matter. However, before you begin to address them, it is important to spend time reviewing and revising the content of the paper.

A good research paper is both organized and cohesive.  Organization  means that your argument flows logically from one point to the next.  Cohesion  means that the elements of your paper work together smoothly and naturally. In a cohesive research paper, information from research is seamlessly integrated with the writer’s ideas.

Revise to Improve Organization

When you revise to improve organization, you look at the flow of ideas throughout the essay as a whole and within individual paragraphs. You check to see that your essay moves logically from the introduction to the body paragraphs to the conclusion, and that each section reinforces your thesis. Use Checklist 12.1 : Revise for Organization to help you.

Checklist 12.1 : Revise for Organization

At the essay level

Does my introduction proceed clearly from the opening to the thesis?

Does each body paragraph have a clear main idea that relates to the thesis?

Do the main ideas in the body paragraphs flow in a logical order? Is each paragraph connected to the one before it?

Do I need to add or revise topic sentences or transitions to make the overall flow of ideas clearer?

Does my conclusion summarize my main ideas and revisit my thesis?

At the paragraph level

Does the topic sentence clearly state the main idea?

Do the details in the paragraph relate to the main idea?

Do I need to recast any sentences or add transitions to improve the flow of sentences?

Jorge reread his draft paragraph by paragraph. As he read, he highlighted the main idea of each paragraph so he could see whether his ideas proceeded in a logical order. For the most part, the flow of ideas was clear. However, he did notice that one paragraph did not have a clear main idea. It interrupted the flow of the writing. During revision, Jorge added a topic sentence that clearly connected the paragraph to the one that had preceded it. He also added transitions to improve the flow of ideas from sentence to sentence.

Read the following paragraphs twice, the first time without Jorge’s changes, and the second time with them.

Self – practice EXERCISE 12.1

Follow these steps to begin revising your paper’s overall organization.

Print out a hard copy of your paper. (You will use this for multiple self-practice exercises in this chapter.)

Read your paper paragraph by paragraph. Highlight your thesis and the topic sentence of each paragraph.

Using the thesis and topic sentences as starting points, outline the ideas you presented—just as you would do if you were outlining a chapter in a textbook. Do not look at the outline you created during prewriting. You may write in the margins of your draft or create a formal outline on a separate sheet of paper.

Next, reread your paper more slowly, looking for how ideas flow from sentence to sentence. Identify places where adding a transition or recasting a sentence would make the ideas flow more logically.

Review the topics on your outline. Is there a logical flow of ideas? Identify any places where you may need to reorganize ideas.

Begin to revise your paper to improve organization. Start with any major issues, such as needing to move an entire paragraph. Then proceed to minor revisions, such as adding a transitional phrase or tweaking a topic sentence so it connects ideas more clearly.

Optional collaboration: P lease share your paper with a classmate. Repeat the six steps and take notes on a separate piece of paper. Share and compare notes.

Writers choose transitions carefully to show the relationships between ideas—for instance, to make a comparison or elaborate on a point with examples. Make sure your transitions suit your purpose and avoid overusing the same ones.

Creating Coherence

Careful writers use transitions to clarify how the ideas in their sentences and paragraphs are related. These words and phrases help the writing flow smoothly. Adding transitions is not the only way to improve coherence, but they are often useful and give a mature feel to your essays. Earlier chapters have discussed using transitions for specific purposes in the planning of your writing.  Table 12.1: Common Transitional Words and Phrases   groups many common transitions according to their purpose.

Table 12.1:   Common Transitional Words and Phrases According to Purpose

When Mariah (who you were introduced to in Chapters 5 and 6) revised her essay for unity, she examined her paragraph about televisions to check for coherence. She looked for places where she needed to add a transition or perhaps reword the text to make the flow of ideas clear. In the version that follows, she has already deleted the sentences that were off topic.

Many writers make their revisions on a printed copy and then transfer them to the version on screen. They conventionally use a small arrow called a caret (^) to show where to insert an addition or correction.

Self – practice EXERCISE 12.2

Answer the following questions about Mariah’s revised paragraph.

Do you agree with the transitions and other changes that Mariah made to her paragraph? Which would you keep and which were unnecessary? Explain.

What transition words or phrases did Mariah add to her paragraph? Why did she choose each one?

What effect does adding additional sentences have on the coherence of the paragraph? Explain. When you read both versions aloud, which version has a more logical flow of ideas? Explain.

Revise to Improve Cohesion

When you revise to improve cohesion, you analyze how the parts of your paper work together. You look for anything that seems awkward or out of place. Revision may involve deleting unnecessary material or rewriting parts of the paper so that the out of place material fits in smoothly.

In a research paper, problems with cohesion usually occur when a writer has trouble integrating source material. If facts or quotations have been awkwardly dropped into a paragraph, they distract or confuse the reader instead of working to support the writer’s point. Overusing paraphrased and quoted material has the same effect. Use Checklist 12.2 : Revise for Cohesion to review your essay for cohesion.

Checklist 12.2 : Revise for Cohesion

Does the opening of the paper clearly connect to the broader topic and thesis? Make sure entertaining quotes or anecdotes serve a purpose.

Have I included support from research for each main point in the body of my paper?

Have I included introductory material before any quotations? Quotations should never stand alone in a paragraph.

Does paraphrased and quoted material clearly serve to develop my own points?

Do I need to add to or revise parts of the paper to help the reader understand how certain information from a source is relevant?

Are there any places where I have overused material from sources?

Does my conclusion make sense based on the rest of the paper? Make sure any new questions or suggestions in the conclusion are clearly linked to earlier material.

As Jorge reread his draft, he looked to see how the different pieces fit together to prove his thesis. He realized that some of his supporting information needed to be integrated more carefully and decided to omit some details entirely. Read the following paragraph, first without Jorge’s revisions and then with them.

Jorge decided that his comment about pizza and birthday cake came across as subjective and was not necessary to make his point, so he deleted it. He also realized that the quotation at the end of the paragraph was awkward and ineffective. How would his readers know who Kwon was or why her opinion should be taken seriously? Adding an introductory phrase helped Jorge integrate this quotation smoothly and establish the credibility of his source.

Self – practice EXERCISE 12.3

Follow these steps to begin revising your paper to improve cohesion.

Print out a hard copy of your paper, or work with your printout from  Self – Practice Exercise 12.1 .

Read the body paragraphs of your paper first. Each time you come to a place that cites information from sources, ask yourself what purpose this information serves. Check that it helps support a point and that it is clearly related to the other sentences in the paragraph.

Identify unnecessary information from sources that you can delete.

Identify places where you need to revise your writing so that readers understand the significance of the details cited from sources.

Skim the body paragraphs once more, looking for any paragraphs that seem packed with citations. Review these paragraphs carefully for cohesion.

Review your introduction and conclusion. Make sure the information presented works with ideas in the body of the paper.

Revise the places you identified in your paper to improve cohesion.

Optional c ollaboration: P lease exchange papers with a classmate. Complete step 4 . On a separate piece of paper, note any areas that would benefit from clarification. Return and compare notes.

Writing at Work

Understanding cohesion can also benefit you in the workplace, especially when you have to write and deliver a presentation. Speakers sometimes rely on cute graphics or funny quotations to hold their audience’s attention. If you choose to use these elements, make sure they work well with the substantive content of your presentation. For example, if you are asked to give a financial presentation, and the financial report shows that the company lost money, funny illustrations would not be relevant or appropriate for the presentation.

Reading your writing aloud will often help you find problems with unity and coherence. Listen for the clarity and flow of your ideas. Identify places where you find yourself confused, and write a note to yourself about possible fixes.

Creating Unity

Sometimes writers get caught up in the moment and cannot resist a good digression. Even though you might enjoy such detours when you chat with friends, unplanned digressions usually harm a piece of writing.

Following your outline closely offers you a reasonable guarantee that your writing will stay on purpose and not drift away from the controlling idea. However, when writers are rushed, are tired, or cannot find the right words, their writing may become less than they want it to be. Their writing may no longer be clear and concise, and they may add information that is not needed to develop the main idea.

When a piece of writing has  unity , all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay clearly belong and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense. When the writing has  coherence , the ideas flow smoothly. The wording clearly indicates how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and from paragraph to paragraph.

Mariah stayed close to her outline when she drafted the three body paragraphs of her essay she tentatively titled “Digital Technology: The Newest and the Best at What Price?” But a recent shopping trip for an HDTV upset her enough that she digressed from the main topic of her third paragraph and included comments about the sales staff at the electronics store she visited. When she revised her essay, she deleted the off-topic sentences that affected the unity of the paragraph.

Read the following paragraph twice, the first time without Mariah’s changes and the second time with them.

Self – practice EXERCISE 12.4

Answer the following two questions about Mariah’s paragraph:

Do you agree with Mariah’s decision to make the deletions she made? Did she cut too much, too little, or just enough? Explain.

Is the explanation of what screen resolution means a digression? Or is it audience friendly and essential to understanding the paragraph? Explain.

Collaboration: P lease share with a classmate and compare your answers.

Now, print out another copy of your essay or use the printed version(s) you used in Self – Practice Exercises 12.1 and 12.3 . Reread it to find any statements that affect the unity of your writing. Decide how best to revise.

When you reread your writing to find revisions to make, look for each type of problem in a separate sweep. Read it straight through once to locate any problems with unity. Read it straight through a second time to find problems with coherence. You may follow this same practice during many stages of the writing process.

Many companies hire copy editors and proofreaders to help them produce the cleanest possible final drafts of large writing projects. Copy editors are responsible for suggesting revisions and style changes; proofreaders check documents for any errors in capitalization, spelling, and punctuation that have crept in. Many times, these tasks are done on a freelance basis, with one freelancer working for a variety of clients.

Using a Consistent Style and Tone

Once you are certain that the content of your paper fulfills your purpose, you can begin revising to improve  style  and  tone . Together, your style and tone create the voice of your paper, or how you come across to readers. Style refers to the way you use language as a writer—the sentence structures you use and the word choices you make. Tone is the attitude toward your subject and audience that you convey through your word choice.

Determining an Appropriate Style and Tone

Although accepted writing styles will vary within different disciplines, the underlying goal is the same—to come across to your readers as a knowledgeable, authoritative guide. Writing about research is like being a tour guide who walks readers through a topic. A stuffy, overly formal tour guide can make readers feel put off or intimidated. Too much informality or humour can make readers wonder whether the tour guide really knows what he or she is talking about. Extreme or emotionally charged language comes across as unbalanced.

To help prevent being overly formal or informal, determine an appropriate style and tone at the beginning of the research process. Consider your topic and audience because these can help dictate style and tone. For example, a paper on new breakthroughs in cancer research should be more formal than a paper on ways to get a good night’s sleep.

A strong research paper comes across as straightforward, appropriately academic, and serious. It is generally best to avoid writing in the first person, as this can make your paper seem overly subjective and opinion based. Use Checklist 12.3 : Revise for Style to review your paper for other issues that affect style and tone. You can check for consistency at the end of the writing process. Checking for consistency is discussed later in this section.

Checklist 12.3 : Revise for Style

My paper avoids excessive wordiness.

My sentences are varied in length and structure.

I have avoided using first person pronouns such as I and we .

I have used the active voice whenever possible.

I have defined specialized terms that might be unfamiliar to readers.

I have used clear, straightforward language whenever possible and avoided unnecessary jargon.

My paper states my point of view using a balanced tone—neither too indecisive nor too forceful.

Word Choice

Note that word choice is an especially important aspect of style. In addition to checking the points noted on Checklist 12.3 , review your paper to make sure your language is precise, conveys no unintended connotations, and is free of bias. Here are some of the points to check for:

Vague or imprecise terms

Repetition of the same phrases (“Smith states…, Jones states…”) to introduce quoted and paraphrased material (For a full list of strong verbs to use with in text citations, see  Chapter 9: Citations and Referencing .)

Exclusive use of masculine pronouns or awkward use of   he or she

Use of language with negative connotations, such as haughty or ridiculous

Use of outdated or offensive terms to refer to specific ethnic, racial, or religious groups

Using plural nouns and pronouns or recasting a sentence can help you keep your language gender neutral while avoiding awkwardness. Consider the following examples.

• Gender biased :  When a writer cites a source in the body of his paper, he must list it on his references page.
• Awkward :  When a writer cites a source in the body of his or her paper, he or she must list it on his or her references page.
• Improved :  Writers must list any sources cited in the body of a paper on the references page.

Keeping Your Style Consistent

As you revise your paper, make sure your style is consistent throughout. Look for instances where a word, phrase, or sentence does not seem to fit with the rest of the writing. It is best to reread for style after you have completed the other revisions so that you are not distracted by any larger content issues. Revising strategies you can use include the following:

Read your paper aloud.  Sometimes your ears catch inconsistencies that your eyes miss.

Share your paper with another reader whom you trust to give you honest feedback.  It is often difficult to evaluate one’s own style objectively—especially in the final phase of a challenging writing project. Another reader may be more likely to notice instances of wordiness, confusing language, or other issues that affect style and tone.

E dit your paper slowly, sentence by sentence.  You may even wish to use a sheet of paper to cover up everything on the page except the paragraph you are editing. This practice forces you to read slowly and carefully. Mark any areas where you notice problems in style or tone, and then take time to rework those sections.

On reviewing his paper, Jorge found that he had generally used an appropriately academic style and tone. However, he noticed one glaring exception—his first paragraph. He realized there were places where his overly informal writing could come across as unserious or, worse, disparaging. Revising his word choice and omitting a humorous aside helped Jorge maintain a consistent tone. Read his revisions.

Self – practice EXERCISE 12.5

Using Checklist 12.3 : Revise for Style , revise your paper line by line. You may use either of these techniques :

Print out a hard copy of your paper or work with your printout from  Self – Practice Exercise 12.1 . Read it line by line. Check for the issues noted on Checklist 12.3 , as well as any other aspects of your writing style you have previously identified as areas for improvement. Mark any areas where you notice problems in style or tone, and then take time to rework those sections.

If you prefer to work with an electronic document, use the menu options in your word processing program to enlarge the text to 150 or 200 percent of the original size. Make sure the type is large enough that you can focus on one paragraph at a time. Read the paper line by line as described in step 1. Highlight any areas where you notice problems in style or tone, and then take time to rework those sections.

Optional c ollaboration: P lease exchange papers with a classmate. On a separate piece of paper, note places where the essay does not seem to flow or you have questions about what was written. Return the essay and compare notes.

Completing a Peer Review

After working so closely with a piece of writing, writers often need to step back and ask for a more objective reader. What writers need most is feedback from readers who can respond only to the words on the page. When they are ready, writers show their drafts to someone they respect and who can give an honest response about its strengths and weaknesses.

You, too, can ask a peer to read your draft when it is ready. After evaluating the feedback and assessing what is most helpful, the reader’s feedback will help you when you revise your draft. This process is called  peer review .

You can work with a partner in your class and identify specific ways to strengthen each other’s essays. Although you may be uncomfortable sharing your writing at first, remember that each writer is working toward the same goal: a final draft that fits the audience and the purpose. Maintaining a positive attitude when providing feedback will put you and your partner at ease. The box that follows provides a useful framework for the peer review session.

Questions for Peer Review: Organization, Unity, and Coherence

Title of essay: ____________________________________________

Date: ____________________________________________

Writer’s name: ____________________________________________

Peer reviewer’s name: _________________________________________

This essay is about____________________________________________.

Your main points in this essay are____________________________________________.

What I most liked about this essay is____________________________________________.

These three points struck me as your strongest:

Point: ____________________________________________ Why: ____________________________________________

These places in your essay are not clear to me:

Where: ____________________________________________ Needs improvement because__________________________________________

Where: ____________________________________________ Needs improvement because ____________________________________________

Where: ____________________________________________

Needs improvement because ____________________________________________

The one additional change you could make that would improve this essay significantly is ____________________________________________.

One of the reasons why word processing programs build in a reviewing feature is that work groups have become a common feature in many businesses. Writing is often collaborative, and the members of a work group and their supervisors often critique group members’ work and offer feedback that will lead to a better final product.

Self – practice EXERCISE 12.6

Exchange essays with a classmate and complete a peer review of each other’s draft in progress. Remember to give positive feedback and to be courteous and polite in your responses. Focus on providing one positive comment and one question for more information to the author.

Using Feedback Objectively

The purpose of peer feedback is to receive constructive criticism of your essay. Your peer reviewer is your first real audience, and you have the opportunity to learn what confuses and delights a reader so that you can improve your work before sharing the final draft with a wider audience (or your intended audience).

It may not be necessary to incorporate every recommendation your peer reviewer makes. However, if you start to observe a pattern in the responses you receive from peer reviewers, you might want to consider that feedback in future assignments. For example, if you read consistent comments about a need for more research, then you may want to consider including more research in future assignments.

Using Feedback from Multiple Sources

You might get feedback from more than one reader as you share different stages of your revised draft. In this situation, you may receive feedback from readers who do not understand the assignment or who lack your involvement with and enthusiasm for it.

You need to evaluate the responses you receive according to two important criteria:

Determine if the feedback supports the purpose of the assignment.

Determine if the suggested revisions are appropriate to the audience.

Then, using these standards, accept or reject revision feedback.

Self – practice EXERCISE 12.7

Consider the feedback you received from the peer review and all of the revision exercises throughout this section. Compile a final draft of your revisions that you can use in the next section to complete your final edits.

Key Takeaways

• Revising and editing are the stages of the writing process in which you improve your work before producing a final draft.
• Unity in writing means that all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay clearly belong together and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense.
• Coherence in writing means that the writer’s wording clearly indicates how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and between paragraphs.
• Transitional words and phrases effectively make writing more coherent.
• Writing should be clear and concise, with no unnecessary words.
• Effective formal writing uses specific, appropriate words and avoids slang, contractions, clichés, and overly general words.
• Peer reviews, done properly, can give writers objective feedback about their writing. It is the writer’s responsibility to evaluate the results of peer reviews and incorporate only useful feedback.

12.2 Editing and Developing a Final Draft of a Research Paper

• Edit your paper to ensure that language, citations, and formatting are correct

Given all the time and effort you have put into your research paper, you will want to make sure that your final draft represents your best work. This requires taking the time to revise and edit your paper carefully.

You may feel like you need a break from your paper before you edit it. That feeling is understandable, so you want to be sure to leave yourself enough time to complete this important stage of the writing process. This section presents a number of opportunities for you to focus on different aspects of the editing process; as with revising a draft, you should approach editing in different stages.

Some of the content in this section may seem repetitive, but again, it provides you with a chance to double-check any revisions you have made at a detailed level.

Editing Your Draft

If you have been incorporating each set of revisions as Mariah and Jorge have, you have produced multiple drafts of your writing. So far, all your changes have been content changes. Perhaps with the help of peer feedback, you have made sure that you sufficiently supported your ideas. You have checked for problems with unity and coherence. You have examined your essay for word choice, revising to cut unnecessary words and to replace weak wording with specific and appropriate wording.

The next step after revising the content is editing. When you edit, you examine the surface features of your text. You examine your spelling, grammar, usage, and punctuation. You also make sure you use the proper format when creating your finished assignment.

Editing takes time. Be sure to budget time into the writing process to complete additional edits after revising. Editing and proofreading your writing helps you create a finished work that represents your best efforts. Here are a few more tips to remember about your readers:

Readers do not notice correct spelling, but they  do  notice misspellings.

Readers look past your sentences to get to your ideas—unless the sentences are awkward, poorly constructed, and frustrating to read.

Readers notice when every sentence has the same rhythm as every other sentence, with no variety.

Readers do not cheer when you use  there ,  their , and  they’re  correctly, but they notice when you do not.

Readers will notice the care with which you handled your assignment and your attention to detail in the delivery of an error-free document.

Being Clear and Concise

Some writers are very methodical and painstaking when they write a first draft. Other writers unleash a lot of words in order to get out all that they feel they need to say. Do either of these methods match your style? Or is your composing style somewhere in between? No matter which description best fits you, the first draft of almost every piece of writing, no matter its author, can be made clearer and more concise.

If you have a tendency to write too much, you will need to look for unnecessary words. If you have a tendency to be vague or imprecise in your wording, you will need to find specific words to replace any overly general language.

Identifying Wordiness

Sometimes writers use too many words when fewer words will appeal more to their audience and better fit their purpose. Here are some common examples of wordiness to look for in your draft. Eliminating wordiness helps all readers, because it makes your ideas clear, direct, and straightforward.

• Sentences that begin with   There is   or   There are
• Wordy .  There are two major experiments that the Biology Department sponsors.
• Revised .  The Biology Department sponsors two major experiments.
• Sentences with unnecessary modifiers
• Wordy .  Two extremely famous and well-known consumer advocates spoke eloquently in favour of the proposed important legislation.
• Revised .  Two well-known consumer advocates spoke in favour of the proposed legislation.

Sentences with deadwood phrases that add little to the meaning. Be judicious when you use phrases such as  in terms of ,  with a mind to ,  on the subject of ,  as to whether or not ,  more or less ,  as far as…is concerned , and similar expressions. You can usually find a more straightforward way to state your point.

• Wordy .  As a world leader in the field of green technology, the company plans to focus its efforts in the area of geothermal energy. A report as to whether or not to use geysers as an energy source is in the process of preparation.
• Revised .  As a world leader in green technology, the company plans to focus on geothermal energy. Researchers are preparing a report about using geysers as an energy source.

Sentences in the passive voice or with forms of the verb   to be : S entences with passive voice verbs often create confusion because the subject of the sentence does not perform an action. Sentences are clearer when the subject performs the action and is followed by a strong verb. Use strong active voice verbs in place of forms of  to be , which can lead to wordiness. Avoid passive voice when you can.

• Wordy . It might perhaps be said that using a GPS device is something that is a benefit to drivers who have a poor sense of direction.
• Revised . Using a GPS device benefits drivers who have a poor sense of direction.

Sentences with constructions that can be shortened

• Wordy .   The e-book reader, which is a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone. My over-60 uncle bought an e-book reader, and his wife bought an e-book reader, too.
• Revised .   The e-book reader, a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone. My over-60 uncle and his wife both bought e-book readers.

Choosing Specific, Appropriate Words

Most essays at the post-secondary level should be written in formal English suitable for an academic situation. Follow these principles to be sure that your word choice is appropriate. For more information about word choice, see  Chapter 2: Working with Words: Which Word Is Right?

Avoid slang . Find alternatives to  bummer ,  kewl , and  rad .

Avoid language that is overly casual . Write about “men and women” rather than “girls and guys” unless you are trying to create a specific effect. A formal tone calls for formal language.

Avoid contractions . Use  do not  in place of  don’t ,  I am  in place of  I’m , have not  in place of  haven’t , and so on. Contractions are considered casual speech.

Avoid clichés . Overused expressions such as  green with envy ,  face the music ,  better late than never , and similar expressions are empty of meaning and may not appeal to your audience.

Be careful when you use words that sound alike but have different meanings . Some examples are  allusion/illusion ; complement/compliment; council/counsel; concurrent/consecutive; founder/flounder; and historic/historical. When in doubt, check a dictionary.

Choose words with the connotations you want . Choosing a word for its connotations is as important in formal essay writing as it is in all kinds of writing. Compare the positive connotations of the word  proud  and the negative connotations of  arrogant  and  conceited .

Use specific words rather than overly general words . Find synonyms for  thing ,  people ,  nice ,  good ,  bad ,  interesting , and other vague words. Or use specific details to make your exact meaning clear.

Now read the revisions Mariah made to make her third paragraph clearer and more concise. She has already incorporated the changes she made to improve unity and coherence.

Self – practice EXERCISE 12.8

Answer the following questions about Mariah’s revised paragraph:

Read the unrevised and the revised paragraphs aloud. Explain in your own words how changes in word choice have affected Mariah’s writing.

Do you agree with the changes that Mariah made to her paragraph? Which changes would you keep and which were unnecessary? Explain. What other changes would you have made?

What effect does removing contractions and the pronoun  you have on the tone of the paragraph? How would you characterize the tone now? Why?

Now return once more to your essay in progress. Read carefully for problems with word choice. Be sure that your draft is written in formal language and that your word choice is specific and appropriate.

Self – practice EXERCISE 12.9

R eturn once more to the first draft of the essay you have been revising. Check it for unnecessary words.

Try making your sentences as concise as they can be.

Brief Punctuation Review

Throughout this book, you have been presented with a number of tables containing transitional words. Table 12.2: Punctuating Transitional Words and Phrases shows many of the transition words you have seen organized into different categories to help you know how to punctuate with each one.

Table 12.2:   Punctuating Transitional Words and Phrases

* This row contains relative pronouns, which may be punctuated differently.

Joining Independent Clauses

There are three ways to join independent clauses. By using a mix of all three methods and varying your transition words, you will add complexity to your writing and improve the flow. You will also be emphasizing to your reader which ideas you want to connect or to show things like cause and effect or contrast. For a more detailed review of independent clauses, look back at Chapter 3: Putting Ideas into Your Own Words and Paragraphs . Option 1 By simply using a semicolon ( ; ), you can make the ideas connect more than if you were to use a period. If you are trying to reinforce that connection, use a semicolon because it is not as strong of a pause as a period and reinforces the link. Option 2 When you want to link two independent sentences and increase the flow between ideas, you can add a comma and a coordinating conjunction between them. With coordinating conjunctions (FANBOYS: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so), you do not use a comma every time: you would only do so if what is on either side of the conjunction is a complete sentence not just a phrase. You would not put a comma if you are only giving a list of two items. For example:

Comma: It is cold outside , so I wore an extra warm coat.

No comma: It is cold outside. I wore an extra warm coat and gloves.

The first example contains a complete sentence (independent clause) on either side of the conjunction so . Just the conjunction by itself or just a comma by itself is not strong enough to join two independent clauses. However, if you put the two together with so , you can link the two. In the second example, and is simply connecting two noun phrases: warm coat and gloves . What comes after the conjunction is not a complete sentence, so you would not add a comma. To check if there is a complete, independent clause, ask yourself, “Can that part stand by itself as a complete sentence?” In the case of the no comma example, gloves is what comes after the comma. That is not a complete sentence, only a noun: that means it is part of a list and is not a complete sentence = no comma. The point of these examples was to show you that you have to be careful how you use commas and conjunctions. As easy as it would be to just always toss in a comma, doing so would confuse your reader as what is and is not part of a list and what ideas are joined. Option 3 Your third choice is to join two independent clauses with a conjunctive adverb or another transition word. These words are very useful because they clearly show your reader how you would like your ideas to connect. If you wanted to emphasize contrasting ideas, you would use on the other hand or however . If you wanted to show cause and effect, you could use as a result . Refer to the tables you have seen in other chapters to make sure you are using the transitions you actually mean to be using; then, check Table 12.2 to confirm how you should punctuate it. After your first independent clause, you can choose to either use a period or a semicolon, again depending on how much of a link you want to show. You may also want to consider how many long sentences you have used prior to this. If you use a lot of complicated sentences, you should probably use a period to allow your reader to take a break. You must also remember to include a comma after the transition word.

Period: It is cold outside . Therefore, I wore an extra warm coat.

Semicolon: It is cold outside ; therefore, I wore an extra warm coat.

Joining Dependent Clauses

If one of the clauses in a sentence is independent and can stand on its own, but the other is not, you have to construct the sentence a little differently. Whenever you add a subordinating conjunction or relative pronoun to an independent sentence, you create a dependent clause—one that can never stand alone. In the examples below, notice that when the independent clause comes first, it is strong enough to carry the dependent clause at the end without any helping punctuation. However, if you want the dependent clause first, you must add a comma between it and the independent clause: the dependent clause is not strong enough to support the independent clause after without a little help. In the examples below, the independent clauses are double underlined and the dependent clause has a single underline.

IND first: I wore an extra warm coat as it is cold outside.

DEP first: As it is cold outside , I wore an extra warm coat.

If you want to start a sentence with Because , you need to make sure there is a second half to that sentence that is independent. A Because (dependent) clause can never stand by itself.

At the bottom on Table 12.2 , you can see a list of five dependent markers that can be used a little differently. These are relative pronouns, and when you use them, you need to ask yourself if the information is 100 percent necessary for the reader to understand what you are describing. If it is optional, you can include a comma before the relative clause even if it comes after the independent clause.

Non – essential: As it is cold outside, I wore an extra warm coat , which was blue.

Essential: My coat which is blue is the one I wear when it is really cold outside.

In the non – essential example, the fact that the coat was warm was probably more important than that the coat was blue. The information that the coat is blue probably would not make a difference in keeping the person warm, so the information in that relative clause is not terribly important. Adding the comma before the clause tells the reader it is extra information. In the essential example, the use of the same clause without a preceding comma shows that this information is important. The writer is implying he has other coats that are not as warm and are not blue, so he is emphasizing the importance of the blue coat. These are the only five subordinators, or relative pronouns, for which you can do this; every other one needs to follow the previous explanation of how to use these dependent transition words. If you do decide to add a comma with one of the relative pronouns, you need to think critically about whether or not that description is completely essential.

Using any of these sentence joining strategies is helpful in providing sentence variety to help your reader stay engaged and reading attentively. By following these punctuation rules, you will also avoid creating sentence fragments, run-on sentences, and comma splices, all of which improves your end product.

Given how much work you have put into your research paper, you will want to check for any errors that could distract or confuse your readers. Using the spell checking feature in your word processing program can be helpful, it should not replace a full, careful review of your document. Be sure to check for any errors that may have come up frequently for you in the past. Use Checklist 12.4: Editing Your Writing to help you as you edit.

Checklist 12.4 : Editing Your Writing

Are some sentences actually sentence fragments?

Are some sentences run-on? How can I correct them?

Do some sentences need conjunctions between independent clauses?

Does every verb agree with its subject?

Is every verb in the correct tense?

Are tense forms, especially for irregular verbs, written correctly?

Have I used subject, object, and possessive personal pronouns correctly?

Have I used  who  and  whom  correctly?

Is the antecedent of every pronoun clear?

Do all personal pronouns agree with their antecedents?

Have I used the correct comparative and superlative forms of adjectives and adverbs?

Is it clear which word a participial phrase modifies, or is it a dangling modifier?

Sentence Structure

Are all my sentences simple sentences, or do I vary my sentence structure?

Have I chosen the best coordinating or subordinating conjunctions to join clauses?

Have I created long, overpacked sentences that should be shortened for clarity?

Do I see any mistakes in parallel structure?

Punctuation

Does every sentence end with the correct end punctuation?

Can I justify the use of every exclamation point?

Have I used apostrophes correctly to write all singular and plural possessive forms?

Have I used quotation marks correctly?

Mechanics and Usage

Can I find any spelling errors? How can I correct them?

Have I used capital letters where they are needed?

Have I written abbreviations, where allowed, correctly?

Can I find any errors in the use of commonly confused words, such as to / too / two ?

Be careful about relying too much on spelling checkers and grammar checkers. A spelling checker cannot recognize that you meant to write principle  but wrote  principal  instead. A grammar checker often queries constructions that are perfectly correct. The program does not understand your meaning; it makes its check against a general set of formulas that might not apply in each instance. If you use a grammar checker, accept the suggestions that make sense, but consider why the suggestions came up.

Proofreading requires patience; it is very easy to read past a mistake. Set your paper aside for at least a few hours, if not a day or more, so your mind will rest. Some professional proofreaders read a text backward so they can concentrate on spelling and punctuation. Another helpful technique is to slowly read a paper aloud, paying attention to every word, letter, and punctuation mark.

If you need additional proofreading help, ask a reliable friend, classmate, or peer tutor to make a final pass on your paper to look for anything you missed.

Your finished assignment should be properly formatted, following the style required of you. Formatting includes the style of the title, margin size, page number placement, location of the writer’s name, and other factors. Your instructor or department may require a specific style to be used. The requirements may be more detailed and rigid for research projects and term papers, which often observe the American Psychological Association (APA) style guide, especially when citations of sources are included.

To ensure the format is correct and follows any specific instructions, make a final check before you submit an assignment.

Self- practice EXERCISE 12.10

With the help of Checklist 12.4, edit and proofread your essay.

Checking Citations and Formatting

When editing a research paper, it is also important to check that you have cited sources properly and formatted your document according to the specified guidelines. There are two reasons for this. First, citing sources correctly ensures that you give proper credit to other people for ideas and information that helped you in your work. Second, using correct formatting establishes your paper as one student’s contribution to the work developed by and for a larger academic community. Increasingly, American Psychological Association (APA) style guidelines are the standard for many academic fields. Use Checklist 12.5: Citations and Formatting to help.

Checklist 12.5 : Citations and Formatting

Within the body of my paper, each fact or idea taken from a source is credited to the correct source.

Each in-text citation includes the source author’s name (or, where applicable, the organization name or source title) and year of publication. I have used the correct format of in text and parenthetical citations.

Each source cited in the body of my paper has a corresponding entry in the references section of my paper.

My references section includes a heading and double-spaced alphabetized entries.

Each entry in my references section is indented on the second line and all subsequent lines.

Each entry in my references section includes all the necessary information for that source type, in the correct sequence and format.

My paper includes a title page.

My paper includes a running head.

The margins of my paper are set at one inch. Text is double spaced and set in a standard 12-point font.

For detailed guidelines on APA citation and formatting, see  Chapter 9: Citations and Referencing .

Following APA citation and formatting guidelines may require time and effort. However, it is good practice for learning how to follow accepted conventions in any professional field. Many large corporations create a style manual with guidelines for editing and formatting documents produced by that corporation. Employees follow the style manual when creating internal documents and documents for publication.

During the process of revising and editing, Jorge made changes in the content and style of his paper. He also gave the paper a final review to check for overall correctness and, particularly, correct APA citations and formatting. Read the final draft of his paper.

With the help of Checklist 12.5, edit and proofread your essay.

Although you probably do not want to look at your paper again before you submit it to your instructor, take the time to do a final check. Since you have already worked through all of the checklists above focusing on certain aspects at one time, working through one final checklist should confirm you have written a strong, persuasive essay and that everything is the way you want it to be. As extra insurance you have produced a strong paper, you may even want someone else to double-check your essay using C hecklist 12.6: Final Revision . Then you can compare to see how your perceptions of your paper match those of someone else, essentially having that person act as the one who will be grading your paper.

Checklist 12.6: Final Revision

You should now be confident you have produced a strong argument that is wonderfully constructed and that you will be able to persuade your audience that your points and point of view are valid.

• During revising, you add, cut, move, or change information in order to improve content.
• During editing, you take a second look at the words and sentences you used to express your ideas and fix any problems in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.
• Remember to budget time for careful editing and proofreading. Use all available resources, including editing checklists, peer editing, and your institution’s writing lab, to improve your editing skills.
• Organization in a research paper means that the argument proceeds logically from the introduction to the body to the conclusion. It flows logically from one point to the next. When revising a research paper, evaluate the organization of the paper as a whole and the organization of individual paragraphs.
• In a cohesive research paper, the elements of the paper work together smoothly and naturally. When revising a research paper, evaluate its cohesion. In particular, check that information from research is smoothly integrated with your ideas.
• An effective research paper uses a style and tone that are appropriately academic and serious. When revising a research paper, check that the style and tone are consistent throughout.
• Editing a research paper involves checking for errors in grammar, mechanics, punctuation, usage, spelling, citations, and formatting.

Writing for Success - 1st Canadian Edition Copyright © 2015 by Tara Horkoff; an author removed at the request of the original publisher; and Horkoff, Tara is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Guidelines for Revising

Revision is….

• The process of reviewing your rough draft and making changes to organization and development that move it closer to a final draft.
• A process that checks for readability, logic, and clarity.
• A process that includes evaluating, adding, deleting, replacing, and moving items in your paper.
• A process that helps you see your paper as readers do.

What steps should I take to revise my paper?

• Wait at least an hour after writing your paper before you begin revising it. Wait even longer, up to a day or two, if you can.
• Think BIG. At this stage, do not worry about minor errors. Focus on the overall organization and flow of your paper.
• As you read, keep asking yourself, “Will this make sense to readers? What does this say (is it clear?), and what does it do (to help readers follow it)?"
• Ask yourself, “Does what I wrote meet the requirements of the assignment I was given?”
• If you have a thesis statement, identify it. Ask yourself, “Does my thesis and the sentences that follow it tell my readers what my paper is about (topic), how I will talk about this topic (focus), and why I am writing about it (purpose)?” If you are having trouble developing your thesis statement, check out determining a thesis .

• Check your overall tone: is your tone appropriate for the assignment? In general, avoid sounding too formal and stuffy on the one hand, and too casual on the other. Eliminate most contractions and instead write out the complete phrase.
• Make sure that your paper is balanced. Each main point should be given about the same amount of space on the page.
• Does the conclusion of the paper tie your ideas together? Try to make your last sentence a poignant one.

Remember, revision is a process. It may take some time to get used to reading and evaluating your own writing. If you find you have a difficult time revising a paper, speak to Writing Center tutor about it. We can help guide you through the revision process. The IUP Writing Center is located in 218 Eicher Hall and is free to all IUP students.

More Writing Help

The Kathleen Jones White Writing Center provides tutoring services, workshops, and writing resources.

• In-Person : 203 Stabley Library
• Online Tutoring: Use the online writing center .
• Instructors: Request a workshop for your class .
• Students: Attend a Wednesday-night workshop .
• Online Workshops: APA Documentation , MLA Documentation .

Online help with

• Organization
• Research documentation
• Kathleen Jones White Writing Center
• Stabley Library, Room 203 431 South Eleventh Street Indiana, PA 15705
• Phone: 724-357-3029
• [email protected]

Writing Studio

Questions to ask when revising a paper.

In an effort to make our handouts more accessible, we have begun converting our PDF handouts to web pages. Download this page as a PDF: Questions to Ask When Revising a Paper Return to Writing Studio Handouts

Here are some questions to help you get started on revising a paper. Under each question are some suggested revision activities to assist you in this process.

Full descriptions of the recommended activities can be found on our Revision resource page.

Questions and Corresponding Revision Strategies

Does the writing have a clear sense of purpose.

Suggested Revision Strategies: Underline Your Main Point, Memory Draft. See also: Reverse Outline, 3×5 Note Card, Cubing

Is my paper’s main idea, or thesis, clearly stated early on (within the first paragraph, ideally)?

Suggested Revision Strategies: Reverse Outline, Talk Your Paper, Underline Your Main Point

Could I organize my ideas more logically (within a paragraph or among paragraphs)?

Suggested Revision Strategies: Reverse Outline and 3×5 Note Card. See also: Memory Draft, Read Out Loud

Are the topic sentences clearly connected to my paper’s main idea and do (most) topic sentences appear at the beginning of each paragraph?

Put differently: could someone read only the first sentence of each paragraph and thereby get a good sense of what the paper is about?

Suggested Revision Strategies: 3×5 Note Card. See also: Reverse Outline, Unpacking an Idea

Do the sentences in each paragraph relate to that paragraph’s topic sentence?

Suggested Revision Strategies: 3×5 Note Card. See also: Unpacking an Idea

Is there unnecessary repetition of certain points (an indication that the paper’s organization should be tinkered with, overhauled, etc.)?

Suggested Revision Strategies: Reverse Outline, Cubing, Read Out Loud

Is there sufficient (but not excessive) use of texts, evidence, or data?

Suggested Revision Strategies: Unpacking an Idea, Cubing, Talk Your Paper, Outside Reader

Does my paper employ effective transitional words, phrases, and sentences?

Suggested Revision Strategies: Outside Reader, Read Out Loud

Are the sentences well-worded and well-constructed?

Suggested Revision Strategies: Read Out Loud

Should some sentences be combined (for the sake of clarity, to avoid choppiness, etc.)? Should others be broken into two or more sentences, so that distinct—even if also related—ideas receive proper emphasis?

Suggested Revision Strategies: Read Out Loud, Outside Reader

Is the language precise and appropriate to the writing context?

Suggested Revision Strategies: Writing Between the Lines, Read Out Loud

Is the style authentic and engaging?

Suggested Revision Strategies: Talk Your Paper, Read Out Loud

Have I rewritten the introduction in order to remove sentences that are not essential to the set-up of my argument?

We strongly suggest removing, for instance, any “since the dawn of time” statements and others of its type that do not help to introduce your topic.

Suggested Revision Strategies: Talk Your Paper, Underline Your Main Point, Memory Draft

Have I addressed all of the questions (or parts of questions) in the assignment?

Suggested Revision Strategies: Return to the Prompt

Last revised: 07/2008| Adapted for web delivery: 05/2021

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3.5 WRITE: Instructions for Essay 01

• Write 2 to 3 pages double-spaced. The exact number of pages, paragraphs, or words is not important. The important thing is that your ideas are clear, complete, and compelling.
• Give your essay a title. Capitalize the first letter of each major word (do not capitalize conjunctions, prepositions, or articles unless they are the first word of the title). Use the CENTER button on the Google Docs or Word toolbar to center the title automatically and accurately.
• Use as many body paragraphs as necessary. Each body paragraph needs a clear topic sentence and supporting ideas. Use a variety of sentence types. Use your computer’s TAB key to indent the first line of each paragraph.
• Include an introduction with a thesis statement that contains a clear topic and claim followed by a preview of the main points.
• Support your ideas with specific details, descriptions, examples, and information from at least one outside source. We will learn formal citations for the second essay. Until then, use a simple attribution such as this: According to Title of Work  by Author Name (YEAR), [paraphrase] or “quoted material.”

Example: According to  Excellent English  by Timothy Krause (2019), the evidence is clear. “Students who can write well will receive higher pay,” says Krause.

• The conclusion should restate the thesis (topic + claim) in light of the information you provided in the body.
• For academic writing, use a formal tone. Write in third person, not first or second person (don’t use I, we , or  you ).
• Use academic vocabulary. Use transition signals ( first, next, also, however , etc.) to guide the reader.
• Remember to edit, proofread, and revise carefully, paying close attention to grammar and mechanics. Review the grading rubrics below and double check your essay for comma splices, subject-verb agreement, word forms, punctuation and spelling.
• Do your own work; do not plagiarize.

All out-of-class writing assignments must be typed. Use a regular font (not too big or little or crazy — for example: Times Roman 12). Assignments must be double-spaced (skip a line). Use approximately one-inch margins on all sides. Include your name and date in the upper left-hand corner. Put the page number in the upper right-hand corner with your last name like this: Krause 1 [but you should use your own last name].

Each draft is worth 10 points, however each draft is graded differently. The grading rubric for the first draft awards more points for content and organization, while the grading rubric for the second draft awards more points for grammar and mechanics.

• Grading Rubric for Draft Essay – See Appendix B
• Grading Rubric for Revised Essay – See Appendix C

MODEL ESSAY

Look in Appendix B for an example of a finished essay.

ANALYZE THE ASSIGNMENT

• What is the purpose of this essay?
• Who is your primary audience for this essay?
• What type of essay will this be? What will you say or show?
• What voice or point of view should you use in this essay?
• What evidence should you use to support your ideas?
• How long should this essay be?
• When is the draft version of this essay due?
• How will you submit the first draft of your essay?
• When is the revised version of this essay due?
• How will you submit the revised version of your essay?

Synthesis Copyright © 2022 by Timothy Krause is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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3: Strategies for Revising and Editing

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Chapter Objective

• Demonstrate strategies for revising and editing technical documents.

Technical writing must be concise. That means all words and visuals included are necessary, and nothing that is necessary is omitted. Revising and editing technical writing for clarity and conciseness is a true skill that you should work to develop in this course and as you continue developing your writing abilities in the future. For that reason, this chapter explores revising and editing strategies in detail.

When you look at all the ways you can review (looking for potential problems) and then revise (fixing those problems), you may be put off by how tedious and time-consuming it is. But the process can become second nature rather quickly. If you spend time analyzing writing in the ways outlined here, the way you write and the way you review what you write will change. You'll start operating—and not even be fully aware of it—with these ideas in mind.

Revision as Part of the Process

Revision literally means to re-see or re-envision a piece of writing. Too often, student-writers may be so pleased to have completed an assignment that they skip revision and instead jump to editing. Or, student-writers may be too busy and overwhelmed with life to give revision the attention it deserves.

Trust this fact, though - good writing is made in the revision part of the process.

No writer gets it right the first time.

That is why revision is so crucial.

THE HOUSE ANALOGY

I once had a writing professor in college who described the revision and editing steps of the writing process similarly to beautifying your home. Editing is akin to straightening the pictures on the shelves, perfecting the setting of the table, and making sure things are just so. Revision is all the other stuff - knocking down walls, remodeling rooms, replacing or moving furniture, or sometimes deciding to pick up and move altogether.

To skip revision is like putting a beautiful wreath on the front door of a construction zone. It will not succeed in the having the desired effect on your audience.

When you revise, you may have to re-frame the focus of your message. You may have to delete entire sections or majorly rewrite them. You may have to decide your topic is not working, which is a brave decision to make once you have already begun. In fact, revision is about courage . Have you ever heard the saying, you must kill your darlings? Even if you love something you've written or a piece overall, if it does not fit the rhetorical situation - in other words, if it does not meet the expectations of your assignment's purpose and honor the needs and expectations of your audience - you are best to kill it in revision.

Earlier in the chapter, I asked you to use critical analysis while researching. Therefore, research relies on your ability to critically analyze someone else's information. Revision relies on your ability to critically analyze your own information.

Practical Tools for Revision

Revision may involve adding, rearranging, removing, and replacing (ARRR) words, sentences, paragraphs, and ideas. Since writing is recursive, revising may require revisiting the prewriting stage.

What else does the reader need to know? If the essay doesn’t meet the required word or page count, what areas can be expanded? Where would further explanation help key points to be more clear? This is a good time to go back to the prewriting notes and look for ideas which weren’t included in the draft.

REARRANGING

Even when writers carefully plan their writing, they may need to rearrange sections for their essays to flow better.

Some ideas just don’t work or don’t contribute enough to the overall goal of the essay. Often when writers delete excess words or paragraphs, the ideas become clearer.

Vivid details help bring writing to life. Writers need to look for strong examples and quotable passages from outside sources to support their arguments. If particular paragraphs aren’t working well, writers need to try rewriting them.

Check Contents

One of the most important ways you can review a rough draft is to check the contents. All the good transitions, good organization, and clear sentence structure in the world can't help a report that doesn't have the right information. Information in a report can be "wrong" in several ways:

• It can be missing altogether: for example, imagine that somebody wrote a report on "virtual communities" but never bothered to define what that term means. It would be tough going from the start of that report.
• It's there but not enough of it: take the same example—imagine that the writer only made a few vague statements about virtual communities. What was needed was at least a paragraph on the subject, if not a full-blown 3- or 4-page section.
• It's there but at the wrong level for the audience: It's also possible to pitch information at the wrong level in terms of readers' knowledge, background, or needs. Imagine that the writer did include a 3-page section on data caching but written for the product developer (an "expert" audience) when the report was really intended for nonspecialists.

Check the structure of your content

There are two ways of looking at the organization of information in a document:

• one involves looking at organizing the sequence of chunks of information to see if they are in the right order.
• Another has to do with organizing the levels of information. You can look at the sentences or paragraphs in a rough draft and see that some sentences go to a deeper level of discussion on the topic than others. Other sentences act like the framework upon which those deeper-level sentences depend. By looking at the structure in this way, you not only check its organization but also get ideas about how to improve the content of the text.

Check organization

If you have the right information in a report, at least you've got all the "right stuff" available for readers. However, it may still not be adequately organized—like when you've just moved and everything is a mess or still in boxes. You need two essential skills for reviewing the organization of a rough draft:

• Identifying the topic of chunks of information at various levels. To assess the organization of a string of paragraphs, you start by thinking of a word or phrase to identify the topic of each paragraph—in other words, get a handle on each one. Then you stand back from those words or phrases, considering whether they are in the right sequence. However, that's only one level. You can also look within an individual paragraph for its organization. In this case, you identify the topic of each sentence and consider the sequencing of those sentences.
• Choosing the best sequence for chunks of information. Once you know the topic of each of the chunks of information (at whatever level you are investigating), then you can decide whether they are in the right sequence. This decision involves knowing the common sequencing patterns.

When the aim is informative, you arrange information to ensure that readers understand the basics before moving onto the complicated, technical portion. When the aim is persuasive, you arrange things to maximize the persuasive effect on the readers, for example, by putting the strongest information first. Below are just a few possibilities.

• Simple, basic → complex : Another way to arrange units of a discussion is to begin with the simple, basic, fundamental ones and then move on to the more complex and technical.
• Thing-at-rest → thing-in-motion: Another organization pattern involves first describing the thing (as if in a photograph), then discussing its operation or process (as if in a video). This approach might work well for a discussion of a fuel-injection system.
• Spatial movement: — If you are describing the physical details of something, you might want to use some pattern of physical movement, for example, top to bottom, left to right, or outside to inside.
• Temporal movement: — One of the most common patterns is based on movement through time; arrange the discussion of events in relation to the temporal sequence.
• Concept → application of the concept, examples : A common organizational pattern is to discuss a concept in general terms then discuss an application of it. For example, another chapter in this book discusses proposals first conceptually then discusses examples of proposals.
• Data → conclusions: Another means of organizing information is to present data (observations, experimental data, survey results) then move on to the conclusions that can be drawn from that data. (And this pattern is sometimes reversed: present the conclusion first, then the data that supports it.)
• Problem, question → solution, answer: You can also organize information by first discussing a problem or raising a question then moving on to the solution or answer.
• Simplified version → detailed version: A useful way to explain technical matters to nonspecialists is to begin by discussing a simplified version of the thing, establish a solid understanding of it, then go right back and explain it all again but this time laying on the technical detail thick and heavy!
• Most important → least important: A more "rhetorical" method of organization is to begin with the most important, the most eye-catching, the most dramatic information first then move on to information that is progressively less so. (And this pattern can be reversed: you can build up to a climax, rather than start with it.)
• Most convincing → least convincing: — Similarly, you can start with the most convincing argument for your position—to get everybody's attention—then move on to less and less convincing ones. (This pattern can also be reversed: you can build up to your most convincing arguments.)

Note : Avoid mixing these approaches—for example, throwing out some data, then stating a few conclusions, and then doing this back and forth in a haphazard way. Keep the apples separate from the oranges!

Other Useful Strategies for Revision

There are many tips and tricks to help you move into a critical mind frame, so you are able to analyze your own writing. Here are a few that might help you, but as a continued exploration of further understanding your unique writing process, never be afraid to turn to search engines to ask such questions as: what are the best ways to revise? What are revising tricks that work? You could also look to social media and ask friends and colleagues about their writing process and the tools that work best for them!

REVERSE OUTLINING

In reverse outlining, the student reads through the written text and notes, noting down the topic of each paragraph. This way, the student can review if each paragraph has a clear focus and if each paragraph fits the overall organization of the paper. More on reverse outlining is available at The Purdue Online Writing Lab (OWL), “ Reverse Outlining: An Exercise for Taking Notes and Revising Your Work. ”

READING ALOUD

The act of reading one’s essay aloud allows the student to “hear it” in the way a reader will. This act permits the writer to slow down and pay attention to all words in the essay. They get a sense of what a reader experiences, where words are clear and effective, and where they are weak. Poorly structured sentences are hard to read out loud, indicating that this would be a good place to start revising. This technique is a great precursor for receiving feedback from others. It also helps writers take responsibility for their writing.

How to Incorporate Feedback in Revision

Feedback is a wonderful tool in the revision process. Some instructors require student-writers give each other feedback; this is often referred to as peer review. Other instructors may give every student-writer feedback on their projects directly. This may involve a list of general concepts to work on or in-line comments handwritten on a printed document or typed using the comments feature of an electronic document. Still, student-writers may seek their own feedback by sharing their work with friends and family or visiting the campus writing/tutoring center or using an online tutoring program.

There is value in receiving different kinds of feedback. If you participate in peer review, that does not mean you would not benefit from sharing with a tutor. Likewise, if your parent, sibling, or partner often reads your work, that does not mean feedback from your classmates will not help you. Writing is subjective. That means that you will likely receive varying bits of advice from everyone who reads your work. But when you have a vast array of feedback, you can consider the trends that cannot be ignored. Additionally, you may find that some feedback resonates with you while other feedback does not. Give careful consideration to the feedback you receive, but also be brave enough to accept or reject as you see fit. Remember, though, revision relies on your ability to think critically about your own work.

GENERAL REVISION TIPS

• Look back at a writing assignment you've completed in the past. Either reverse outline it or read it aloud. After doing so, consider what changes you might make if you were to revisit the assignment again. To improve the document: What could be added? What could be rearranged? What could be removed? What could be replaced?
• Find a partner or group of classmates who are willing to meet weekly either face-to-face or online. During your meetings, read your writing assignments aloud, and give each other feedback on the content and language of the work. This should be a group you are committed to working with throughout the semester with the goal of helping each other grow as writers.
• Explore tutoring services at your institution. Ask your instructor what face-to-face and online options are available to you. Make a point to submit your first writing assignment for feedback through one of the tutoring options. Once you do, you will know whether and/or how the services would be useful for you as you continue with your other writing assignments in the course.

Editing as Part of the Process

The process of editing is an ongoing activity for all writers. From the time they come up with a possible topic, they begin editing their ideas and directions in which to go. Once they begin to write, however, the editing takes a new path. Writers edit their own work by reading with fresh eyes and deciding if words need to be moved around or changed. They look for misspellings and awkward wording, and they rework for the sake of clarity. They check their work for typos and unintentional repetition of words and phrases, and they check all the grammar, spelling, capitalization, and punctuation.

QUESTIONS TO ASK

• Is this saying what I think it does?
• Am I being as clear as possible?
• Is there a more concise or artful way that I can express this important idea?

However, it is extremely important not to focus on editing too early in the writing process. If a student writes one sentence or paragraph and immediately begins to edit it, they may find that they lose the flow of their ideas. Suddenly, while focusing on how to spell a word, the whole rest of the essay gets put on hold. The inner editor or critic can inhibit writers, causing them to lose flow and to experience perfectionism and writer’s block. Most instructors recommend that writers ban their critics until they have completed their first drafts and revision has taken place. This saves writers the wasted effort that comes with closely editing material that doesn’t make the final cut anyway.

At later points during the document’s creation, an outside set of editorial eyes may be needed—those of a peer, instructor, colleague, or formal editor—to help move that piece of text toward excellence. In addition to the big-picture structural or information-based considerations, the need for a comma or better word may be the focus of editing efforts. Good editing allows the writer to submit the written creation with the confidence that it is the best it can be and stands as something to truly be proud of.

Strengthen topic sentences and overview

One of the best things you can do is go back through a rough draft and check to see if you can insert topic sentences and overviews at key points. When we write, we're not normally sure exactly where a paragraph or section is going in terms of its content and logic. Once it has "gotten there," it is often necessary to go back to the beginning and add some sort of overview or modify what's already there to make the overview clearer. Readers need to know where they are going in a report, what's coming up next, and for that matter where they've just been.

Having an overview in a report is like having a map when you're in a new city. Topic sentences and overviews offer a perspective on what's where: the topic, the subtopics, the purpose of the upcoming discussion, its relation to the previous section and to the document as a whole. (Now some of this involves transitions, which is the next element to review for.)

Strengthen coherence with transitions

You can have the right information in a report and have it organized properly, but something important can still go wrong. Readers can miss the "flow" of the ideas, have a hard time sensing how the chunks of information are related or connected to each other. What readers need is continuous guidance—which is what you the writer provide. And what you use to provide that guidance is called transitions—various devices that help readers along through a document. There is (or certainly should be) a logic that connects every sentence in a document and that dictates a certain sequence to those sentences.

Transitional words and phrases show how a preceding chunk of information is logically related to a current or upcoming chunk of information—they look backward and forward at the same time. For example:

It may be 3 a.m., but I'm not sleepy a bit.

In this example, the transitional word "but" sets up a contrast between the topic of the first chunk of information (the lateness of the time) and the second chunk (my lack of sleepiness). The logic is contrastive in this case, but there are other kinds of logic. For example:

My Peugeot has almost 112,000 miles on it. It still runs great!

In this example, the transitional word is "it," a simple pronoun. Here, the logic is additive: I'm simply adding one related thought onto another. These examples are obviously stupidly simplistic—but when you get into a complex technical topic and the chunks are whole paragraphs of information, transitions really begin to matter.

Example: Adding transitions for clarity

Revising problems with transitions. The problem version reads like a series of disconnected statements floating in space. The revised version adds transitional devices to pull the statements together in a "coherent," flowing discussion.

It takes a surprising amount of brain power to construct a transition: you must know the topic of the preceding chunk of information, the topic of the current or upcoming one, the logic that connects them. Then, with that in mind, you must pick out the transitional device that you think will best guide the reader across that juncture between the two chunks of information. Scholars have identified a half-dozen or so kinds of transitional devices (but it seems like there ought to be more...):

Dynamic transitional words and phrases

Another category of transitional words and phrases words that are echoed from a preceding section or that forecast keywords in the next section.

• Pronouns —Pronouns like it , this , or that —occurring alone without a following noun—are the weakest of transitional devices. In the following examples, notice how effective they can be when combined with a clarifying noun.
• Summary transitions —At key points in writing, you'll see a phrase, sometimes accompanied by a pronoun, that summarizes the preceding discussion. In the same sentence, a statement will be made about that summary phrase—typically this phrase will kick off the upcoming discussion, and do so in a way that the reader sees the connection between what came before and what is coming next. In this example this mismatch summarizes the idea expressed in the preceding discussion:

Example: Summary transitions

Notice how the underlined summary transition pulls together the idea expressed in the preceding discussion.

• Review-preview transitions —The most powerful transitional device you can use is the type that summarizes the topic of the preceding chunk of information into a short phrase, does the same thing for the upcoming chunk of information, finds the appropriate transitional word, and then throws all these elements together into a sentence or two. You'd use this device at those major bridge points in reports, between large chunks of information—for example, between one 7-page section and a 9-page section that follows it.

Example: Review-preview transitions

Notice how the topic of the preceding section Coring and core analysis techniques is echoed; then transitional material However, a much faster and less expensive... introduces the topic for this next section wire-line logging analysis. (From a report written in 1983.)

Check paragraph length

One last way to review your rough draft at the structure level is to check how you have defined the paragraph breaks. Paragraphs are odd creatures—some scholars of writing believe they don't exist and are just arbitrary breakpoints that writers toss in whenever and wherever they damn well please. Sorry—in technical writing, the paragraph is a key player in the battle for clarity and comprehension. Although not always possible, paragraphs should occur where there is some shift in topic or subtopic or some shift in the way a topic is being discussed.

On a single-spaced full page of writing, look for at least one to four paragraph breaks—there's nothing magical about that average so don't treat it as if it were law. Just take a second look at those long paragraphs, and check for the possibility of paragraph breaks.

Sentence-Level Editing

You have probably heard plenty of times that writing should be lean, mean, clear, direct, succinct, active, and so on. But what does that really mean, what do sentences look like that are not that way, what sorts of things are wrong with them, and how do you fix them?

Sentences do have ways of becoming flabby, redundant, wordy, unclear, indirect, passive, and just plain old hard to understand. Even so, they remain grammatically "correct"—all their subjects and verbs agree, the commas are in the right places, the words are spelled correctly. Still, these sentences are far more difficult to read than any sentence with just a comma problem.

The following sections can't pretend to cover all of the ways sentences can go bad at this higher level, but they do cover seven of the most common problems and show you ways of fixing them. And knowing these seven will probably enable you to spot all the others we have not trapped and labeled yet.

Edit week "be-verbs"

One of the big culprits that cause weak, indirect writing is the use of the be verb as the main verb. That's not to say that the be verb should never be used as the main verb, just that there are cases where doing so makes for weak writing. Look at the following examples of this problem—they are not that hard to spot. Then look at the revisions—notice how a noun (often one ending in -ion ) has been converted into a verb. That's how to fix this problem—find a noun to convert into an active verb, and then rebuild the sentence upon it!

Edit noun stacks

Another common sentence-style problem involves piling up nouns in a phrase. The effect is similar being hit in the head with a large blunt object. Again, take a look at the examples of this problem, which are also not hard to spot, and at the revisions. When you revise a "noun stack," you unpack or unstack the nouns into verbs, clauses, and phrases:

Edit redundant phrasing

Redundancy in writing can come about from these three sources (but there are probably plenty more):

• Wordy set phrases (4- to 5-word phrases; these can be chopped to a 1- to 2-word phrases with no loss of meaning): for example, "in view of the fact that"—it can be reduced to "since" or "because."
• Obvious qualifiers (a word is implicit in the word it modifies): phrases like "anticipate in advance," "completely finish," or "important essentials" are examples of obvious qualifiers—we know that already!
• Scattershot phrasing (two or more synonyms are compounded): compounds like "thoughts and ideas" (what's the difference?) or "actions and behavior" (if there is a difference between these two, does the writer mean to use it?).

Example: Editing wordy set-phrases

Edit weak expletives.

If you were around for Watergate, the term "expletive" means something specific to you (in the tapes and transcripts of Nixon's staff, many expletives had to be "deleted"). In this context, however, the term expletive refers to variations of there is and it is . This is not to say that it is always wrong to use these phrases in sentences, but they can easily be misused or overused. Like redundant phrasing, they add more words than are needed, and more words blunt the meaning, creating a fog around the sense of a sentence.

Example: Weak expletives & revisions

Edit weak passive-voice sentences.

One of the all-time worst offenders for creating unclear, wordy, indirect writing is the passive-voice construction. It's easy enough to convert a sentence from active voice to passive voice, and back again:

However, the passive voice can be a shifty operator—it can cover up its source, that is, who's doing the acting, as this example shows:

(It's this ability to cover the actor or agent of the sentence that makes the passive voice a favorite of people in authority—policemen, city officials, and, yes, teachers. But save that for some other course!) At any rate, you can see how the passive voice can cause wordiness, indirectness, and comprehension problems.

Don't get the idea that the passive voice is always wrong and should never be used. It is a good writing technique when we don't want to be bothered with an obvious or too-often-repeated subject and when we need to rearrange words in a sentence for emphasis. Notice that the passive voice is used correctly in some of the examples above.

Edit subject-verb mismatches

In dense, highly technical writing, it's easy to lose track of the real subject and pick a verb that just does not make sense. The result is a noun physically not able to do what the verb says it is doing, or some abstract thing performing something nitty-gritty real-world action. Here are some examples and their revision:

Edit sentence-length problems

When you are writing about highly technical subject matter, it is easy to construct long sentences that become hard to read. The military standard for many years has been 17 words per sentence. Other standards allow up to 25 words per sentence. It's not that sentences can't be significantly longer or shorter than these standards—it's just that the average ought to stay somewhere within the 17- to 25-word range. However, any sentence over 35 or 40 words probably needs to be broken up. And while an occasional short sentence (say, 5 to 10 words) can be very effective, lots of them can cause writing to be choppy and hard to follow.

Breaking up overly long sentences is fun—it's a lot like throwing things away or tearing something down (it appeals to our destructive urges). Take a look at these examples, before and after:

Precision of Words

Sometimes, in early drafting, writers fall back on words that are vague or boring. For example, consider sentences starting with “This” or “It.” Unless the previous sentence made it totally clear what the “This” or the “It” is, the reader will be confused. For example,

Instead of the following: “This is an exciting point in the movie.”

How about this?

“The surprise ending of the movie is exciting.”

The same thing goes for starting a sentence with the personal pronoun “It.” See the two sentences below.

Instead of this: “It caused the audience to break into applause.”

Define the “It” like this. “The final scene caused the audience to break into applause.”

To note, this kind of sentence structure is essentially using words as “filler” to take up space within a sentence and creates a sort of vagueness for the reader who will wonder what the subject of the sentence might be. Sometimes such sentence construction is fine, but writers use it too often.

In addition, many students believe that using one of the following words adds an element of description or accentuation to their phrases; however, these specific words are overused by writers and should be given special consideration:

Trick #1: If writers conduct a global search for each of the three words above, they can use them as “red flags” to alert themselves to the perfect place to try to find a better way of saying what they want to say. How does one improve vocabulary? Use a thesaurus and read more.

What’s a word for “very scary”? Frightening.

What’s another way of saying “really hungry”? Famished.

On another note: The phrase “a lot” has generally outrun it’s usage by the time one reaches college. Generalizations are better avoided, as they are vague and imprecise. Academics prefer statistics and specific, verifiable statements.

Repetition of Words and Phrases

The unintentional repetition of words and phrases is one of the most common oversights writers make. They all have their go-to words—ones that come naturally to them when they speak and write. The general advice is for writers to use a thesaurus to find a synonym for the overused word. However, what if there isn’t a synonym for the word? Look at the paragraph below:

This past summer, I had the opportunity to intern at Sea Life Park. Sea Life Park is known for being an exciting destination for locals and tourists to experience the wonders of sea life from throughout the Pacific. At the park, green sea turtles, or Honu, thrive and even continue to have babies. In addition, dolphins and the Hawaiian monk seals provide visitors with the ability to view these majestic creatures but also learn about their significance within the Pacific Ocean ecosystem and their importance within island culture.

This writer’s paragraph isn’t bad. However, “Sea Life Park” is repeated twice in the first two sentences. In addition, in sentence three, he begins with “At the park” followed by another “sea.” He defended his construction and word choice by stating, “But there isn’t another word for ‘Sea Life Park’.” Indeed, the “find a synonym” strategy would not work in this case just like there isn’t a synonym for “parking lot” or “ice cream sundae.” So another trick has to be used.

Trick #2: If a synonym doesn’t exist, remove the repetitive words and combine the sentences.

This past summer, I had the opportunity to intern at Sea Life Park, known for being an exciting destination for locals and tourists to experience the wonders of sea life from throughout the Pacific.

Replacing the repeated phrase with a comma before “known” does the trick. But wait. The phrase “sea life” appears again a little later in this same sentence. Now what?

Trick #3: Use your creativity to craft an original way of saying the same thing. Instead of “Sea Life Park,” call it “the world-renowned marine playground committed to protection, preservation, and education” and the writer has not only fixed the repetition issue but also introduced wonderfully original prose.

Trick #4: Writers should read everything out loud so the ear can catch what the eye might miss.

Voice, for writers, is something uniquely their own. It’s the way they put words together and involves their distinctive way of looking at the world. It makes one writer’s work stand out from that of others in its originality and authenticity. Key, though, is understanding that the development of one’s writing voice takes time and is ever changing. That’s what makes it so exciting.

Here are samples of sentences from two famous writers. Though both these writers lived in America at approximately the same time, their “voices” are very different. What are the elements that make these sentences so different?

It was very late and everyone had left the cafe except an old man who sat in the shadow the leaves of the tree made against the electric light. In the daytime the street was dusty, but at night the dew settled the dust and the old man liked to sit late because he was deaf and now at night it was quiet and he felt the difference. (Ernest Hemingway, “A Clean, Well-Lighted Place.”)

Alive, Miss Emily had been a tradition, a duty, and a care, a sort of hereditary obligation upon the town, dating from that day in 1894 when Colonel Sartoris, the mayor—he who fathered the edict that no woman should appear on the streets without an apron—remitted her taxes, the dispensation dating from the death of her father on into perpetuity. (William Faulkner, “A Rose for Emily.”)

Style: Style is much broader than voice. Some writers have a writing style that’s complex and packed with personification, metaphor, and imagery. Other writers have a more straightforward style with more simplicity or directness.

Grammar: The Grand Dame

According to Merriam-Webster, grammar is a system of rules that defines the structure of a language. For most of the USA, that system is Standard American English (SAE). Grammar is the way people use language rules and how words are used in a certain order to form phrases and clauses that relay a meaning for readers. The term “syntax” (the art of sentence structure) goes hand-in-hand with this.

Writers and speakers of any given language are aware that the rules related to grammar and usage of that language are largely appropriated not by formal instruction and memorization but informally and even subconsciously as one grows up listening, speaking and reading. So it’s important to note that, as those who use language every day, students already have internalized essential grammar rules. Most college writers struggle with only one or two main grammar blind-spots, like how to correctly use a comma or semicolon. Once they master these, they can confidently edit their own work. (See Chapter 16 Grammar, Usage, and Punctuation .)

Language Usage

Writing is all about decision-making. Writers need to ask, “How should I craft this sentence, this paragraph? Given the effect of two possible punctuation marks, which one should I use? What is the effect of this word instead of that one, so similar in meaning but carrying a more negative connotation?” In this way, writing is about making endless choices. (See Chapter 16 Grammar, Usage, and Punctuation. )

When it comes down to it, writers within the academic setting do best when they acknowledge that what they are trying to produce is reader-based prose—written content that informs the reader of the essential message the writer is wanting to convey and also does so in a manner that is engaging and well-received.

On this note, it is important that the reader is able to follow the path of words, images, and meaning that the writer is wanting to create. Readers can become distracted and disinterested by awkward word choices, unintentional repetition, and incorrect spelling, grammar, word usage, and punctuation.

All writers have words that give them hassles, even if they have learned how to spell those words. Does the word “essence” end with a “ce” or “se”? Does the word “privilege” spend any time on the “ledge”?

By the time one reaches college, one knows if spelling words correctly comes easily or not. And everyone knows that spell-checkers won’t pick up every mistake. Writers need to make time for careful editing and proofreading throughout the writing process with an extra special proofreading session before turning in any assignment. In addition, though, here is a trick that can actually help one become a better speller, even into adulthood.

Trick #5: Create a running list of all the words that you tend to misspell. If you find another word, add it to the list. Every time you sit down to write, scroll through your list. You’ll find that the spelling will become less of an issue.

Punctuation and Mechanics

Punctuation refers to the “symbols” writers use to help readers understand and process the information they wish to convey through the sentences they write. Somewhat like the notes and rests within a piece of music help musicians move quickly or slowly through a composition, punctuation marks are used for effect. ( See Chapter 16 Grammar, Usage, and Punctuation .)

Mechanics are established rules within a language system, and sometimes include the individual decisions writers make regarding the use of capitalization, underlining, italicizing, numbers versus numerals, the placement of specific punctuation marks, and how this differs throughout English-speaking countries (e.g., “towards” in the UK is often “toward” in the US, and periods and commas always go inside quotation marks in the U.S. but not in Canada).

GENERAL EDITING TIPS

• Search your draft using the “find” tool for words like “it,” “this,” “really,” “very,” “just” or “you.” See if you can find ways to eliminate these words to make your language sharper, more precise.
• Read the sentences of your document in backward order, starting with the last sentence, and then the one above it, all the way up to the first sentence in the document. This is a great way to find fragments or to hear where the language is repetitive or unclear.
• Make an appointment with a tutor or your instructor. Ask for help doing a close editing of two paragraphs with an eye to learning how to identify typical errors in your work, and then apply your learning to the rest of your document.
• Technical documents must be concise. While editing, pretend that you have to pay a fee for every word on the page. If each word costs you $1, would you keep every word you have, or would you find some that are not necessary and could be cut? What if the fee were $5 per word? Would you find more to cut? Challenge yourself to trim away all unnecessary words to make the document as concise as possible.

"Revision as Part of the Process" is derivative of " Revision " by Ann Inoshita, Karyl Garland, Kate Sims, Jeanne K. Tsutsui Keuma, and Tasha Williams , used under CC BY. "Editing as Part of the Process" is derivative of " Editing " by Ann Inoshita, Karyl Garland, Kate Sims, Jeanne K. Tsutsui Keuma, and Tasha Williams , used under CC BY. This chapter, "Strategies for Revising and Editing" is licensed under CC BY 4.0 by Tamara Girardi and Mary Richards.