how to describe a headache in creative writing

How to Describe Pain in Writing: 45 Best Tips with Examples

Pain is one of the most challenging experiences to convey realistically in a story.

Here is how to describe pain in writing:

Describe pain in writing by using sensory language, emotional context, physical reactions, and impactful metaphors. Detail chronic, extreme, and emotional pain through a character’s experiences, expressions, and their impact on daily life.

In this comprehensive guide, you’ll discover a wide-ranging toolkit to depict pain across various dimensions—physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, chronic, and extreme.

How to Describe Pain in Writing: The Most Powerful Strategies

Table of Contents

We’ll start with 30 of the best ways to describe pain in writing:

• Draw on Personal Experience – When describing pain, recalling personal experiences can be a useful starting point. Remember that time you stubbed your toe on the door? Or when you experienced a heart-wrenching break-up? Example: “The pain was like the moment of biting down on a cracked tooth, an electric jolt of surprise and hurt.”
• Sensory Details – Use the five senses to make your descriptions vivid. Incorporate taste, touch, sound, sight, and smell into your writing. Example: “The sharp pain tasted metallic, like a mouthful of pennies.”
• Comparisons and Analogies – Similes and metaphors offer powerful tools to illustrate pain. Create a vivid picture in your reader’s mind by comparing pain to something they can easily understand. Example: “The pain struck like a thunderbolt, leaving his senses as shattered as a broken vase.”
• Physical Reactions – Highlight how pain affects the character’s physical state, such as changes in posture, facial expressions, or movements. Example: “Her face was taut, twisted as though a marionette string was pulling on her every nerve.”
• Use Powerful Adjectives and Verbs – Strong words can emphasize the intensity of emotional pain. Example: “She was swallowed by an abyss of despair, each day was a struggle, each night an agonizing eternity.”
• Incorporate Body Language – Show how emotional pain manifests in the character’s body language. Example: “His shoulders slumped, the weight of his grief pulling him down as if he wore a cloak made of lead.”
• Describe the Character’s Internal Dialogue – Giving readers a glimpse into the character’s thoughts can effectively communicate emotional pain. Example: “She kept asking herself, ‘Why me?’ as she fought to hold back the tears welling in her eyes.”
• Use the Setting to Reflect Emotional Pain – The environment can be an effective tool to mirror the character’s emotional state. Example: “The world outside mirrored his sorrow, the sky gray and weeping, the wind whispering mournful secrets.”
• Introduce Flashbacks – Flashbacks can be used to reveal past traumas or painful memories that lead to the character’s current emotional state. Example: “Every time he closed his eyes, he was back there – the shouts, the fear, the moment his world shattered into a thousand pieces.”
• Describe the Location of the Pain – Be specific about where the pain is originating. This is how you describe stomach pain or foot pain in writing. Example: “The pain was concentrated in his lower back, as if a knife was wedged between his vertebrae.”
• Use Vivid Imagery – Paint a mental picture of what the pain feels like. Example: “It was a searing pain, like hot oil splashed onto his skin.”
• Show the Duration of the Pain – Is the pain fleeting, intermittent, or constant? Example: “The pain was an uninvited guest, lingering and unwelcome.”
• Use Onomatopoeic Words – Use words that imitate the sound associated with the pain. Example: “His head throbbed with a steady, pounding rhythm.”
• Describe the Aftermath of the Pain – What is left when the pain subsides?Example: “After the pain faded, a numbing chill took its place, as if his arm belonged to someone else.”
• Reveal the Character’s Coping Mechanism – How does your character deal with pain? This can add another layer of depth to your writing.Example: “He gritted his teeth, pushing through the pain, refusing to let it control him.”
• Write about the Intensity of the Pain – Is it a mild discomfort, or is it severe enough to be debilitating? Example: “The pain was so intense, it felt like his veins were filled with molten lead.”
• Use Metaphors to Describe the Cause of Pain – Metaphors can be used to describe the cause of the pain, not just the pain itself. Example: “His headache was a relentless drummer, the rhythm echoing through his skull.”
• Describe the Pain through Other Characters’ Reactions – Showing the reaction of others can emphasize the severity of the pain. Example: “Upon seeing his pale, sweaty face, she rushed to his side, her own heart aching with worry.”
• Incorporate the Character’s Emotional Response to the Pain – The character’s emotional reaction to the pain can help the reader empathize with them. Example: “She clenched her fists, tears welling in her eyes as waves of pain washed over her.”
• Describe the Pace of the Pain – Is the pain slow and steady, or quick and sudden? Example: “The pain bloomed slowly, like a rose unfolding its petals, taking over his consciousness one thorn at a time.”
• Incorporate Sensations – Use descriptions of heat, cold, tingling, or numbness to describe the pain. Example: “A numbing cold crept up her leg, the frostbite spreading its icy fingers of pain.”
• Explain the Pain’s Evolution – Pain can change, escalate, or lessen over time. Example: “What began as a dull ache in his stomach soon intensified, twisting into a relentless cramp.”
• Analogize Pain with Weather – Like weather, pain can have periods of escalation and calming. Example: “Her pain was like a storm, surges of hurt punctuated by moments of eerie calm.”
• Incorporate Colors – Associating pain with certain colors can help visualize it. Example: “The pain was red-hot, searing through his senses, leaving him breathless.”
• Describe the Scale of the Pain – Use a scale or a well-known measuring unit to represent pain. Example: “The pain was an 8 out of 10, almost unbearable.”
• Use Hyperbole – An overstatement or exaggeration can sometimes effectively communicate intense pain. Example: “Each heartbeat was a sledgehammer, pounding against his chest.”
• Highlight Pain’s Interruption – Pain can interrupt a character’s train of thought or daily activity. Example: “His words were cut short as a jolt of pain lanced through his arm.”
• Create Contrast – Use the contrast between physical pain and a previously pain-free state. Example: “Yesterday, he was running freely; today, each breath felt like shards of glass in his lungs.”
• Change in Perception – Explain how pain alters the character’s perception or focus. Example: “Pain tunnel-visioned his world, every other sensation paled, it was as though he existed solely as an epicenter of agony.”
• Pain through Time Manipulation – Utilize time as a tool to describe pain. “Flash-forwards” or “Flashbacks” of pain can offer a unique perspective. The character could remember a past painful event with intense clarity or anticipate a future painful occurrence with dread, thereby amplifying the emotional impact of the pain experience. Example: “Every throb of his wound was a time machine, transporting him back to the battlefield, the roar of cannons echoing in his ears.”

Here is a good video about how to use your own experirences to describe pain in writing:

How to Describe Mental Pain & Anguish in Writing

Depicting mental pain in writing can lend depth to your characters, showcasing their vulnerabilities, and helping readers empathize with them.

Here’s how to dresribe mental pain in writing:

• Exhibit Physical Symptoms of Mental Pain – Often, mental pain manifests itself physically. This could include things like difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, or sudden weight changes. Example: “His worry was a relentless gnawing in his mind that stole his sleep and left him pacing the quiet house at night.”
• Describe the Character’s Emotional Responses – Mental pain often elicits intense emotional responses such as anger, fear, or despair. Show these in your character’s reactions. Example: “His anger was a blazing wildfire, incited by the sparks of his overwhelming guilt.”
• Use Metaphors and Similes – Metaphors and similes can help depict the abstract nature of mental pain, making it easier for the reader to understand. Example: “His anxiety was a hungry beast, gnawing at his sanity, bit by bit.”
• Illustrate Social Consequences – Mental pain can cause a character to withdraw socially, which you can illustrate in your writing. Example: “He was an island, his pain the vast ocean that isolated him from the rest of the world.”
• Use Internal Dialogue – Give readers insight into the character’s thoughts to understand their internal struggle. Example: “In the silence of his room, his thoughts screamed the loudest, a cacophony of self-doubt and regret.”
• Describe Coping Mechanisms – How a character deals with mental pain can reveal a lot about their personality and resilience. Example: “He found solace in music, each note a lifeline in the stormy sea of his thoughts.”
• Use the Enviroment – Reflect the character’s mental state through the surroundings. Example: “His room, once a sanctuary, felt like a prison now, the walls closing in on him, mirroring his claustrophobic thoughts.”

Consider this list of words to use when writing about mental pain and anguish:

• Overwhelmed

Also, this list of phrases might help trigger your creativity when writing about mental pain:

• Walls of despair closing in
• A storm of sorrow
• Drowning in dread
• Caught in a whirlwind of worries
• Burdened by unbearable regret
• A chasm of hopelessness
• Haunted by the past
• Carrying a weight of guilt
• Paralyzed by fear
• Lost in a sea of confusion

How to Describe Spiritual Pain in Writing

Spiritual pain can be challenging to portray as it deals with extremely abstract concepts.

Here, we’ll go over tips, words and phrases, and examples of how you can do it.

Tips to Describe Spiritual Pain in Writing

Spiritual pain can be challenging to portray as it deals with abstract concepts like faith, belief, and existential crises.

• Establish the Character’s Beliefs – Establish what your character believes in or values to show the source of their spiritual pain.
• Show a Crisis of Faith – Spiritual pain can stem from doubt or conflict in the character’s belief system.
• Demonstrate Struggles with Morality – Spiritual pain can also be associated with a character grappling with their moral compass.
• Describe Inner Conflict – Show the character’s struggle between their spiritual values and the choices they are forced to make.
• Use Symbols – Symbols, whether they are objects, people, or locations, can represent spiritual pain.

Words and Phrases to Describe Spiritual Pain in Writing

Here are some evocative words and phrases you can use to convey spiritual pain:

• Crisis of faith
• Moral quandary
• Spiritual conflict
• Ethical dilemma
• Disconnection from belief
• Existential angst
• Soul-searching
• Spiritual void
• Doubts and disbelief
• Loss of meaning or purpose

Examples of Describing Spiritual Pain in Writing

• Crisis of Faith :Example: “She stared at the once comforting religious icon on her wall, now a mocking reminder of the faith she was losing.”
• Struggle with Morality :Example: “He was torn between his duty and his moral compass, each decision felt like a betrayal of his deeply held beliefs.”
• Inner Conflict :Example: “A war waged within her, between the doctrines she had been taught and the love she felt.”
• Use of Symbols :Example: “The once vibrant church now stood dull and lifeless, much like his faith.”

How to Describe Emotional Pain in Writing

Now let’s move onto describing emotional pain in writing.

Tips to Describe Emotional Pain in Writing

Emotional pain is a profound hurt within one’s psyche that stems from non-physical sources, such as feelings of loss, rejection, or despair.

• Demonstrate Rather Than Declare – Instead of telling readers that the character is feeling emotional pain, show them through the character’s actions, dialogue, and thoughts.
• Use Figurative Language – These can help express the intensity and nature of emotional pain more vividly.
• Use Sensory Descriptions – Detail how emotional pain might influence the character’s sensory perceptions.
• Past Memories Recollection -These can help show the source of emotional pain and its ongoing impact.
• Portray through Other Characters – Other characters’ reactions can give readers clues about the protagonist’s emotional pain.

Words and Phrases to Describe Emotional Pain in Writing

Choosing the right words and phrases can effectively communicate the depth of emotional pain.

Here are some you can use:

• Overwhelmed by sorrow
• Shattered spirit
• Suffering silently
• Emotional torment
• Crushed dreams
• Inner demons
• Emotional scars
• Weight of the world
• Drowning in despair

Examples of Describing Emotional Pain in Writing

• Her eyes, usually bright with curiosity, were dull, staring blankly at the world that had lost its color.
• His heart was a broken mirror, reflecting the fragments of his shattered dreams.
• Even the food tasted gray, every bite a reminder of her loss.
• His mind was a broken record, repeating the haunting memory of her goodbye.
• His friends noticed the change – the laughter that didn’t quite reach his eyes, the jokes that seemed forced.

How to Describe Chronic Pain

Chronic pain, the relentless specter haunting a person’s body, profoundly affects the rhythm of life.

Unlike acute pain, it isn’t a temporary phase that subsides after an injury heals. Instead, it lingers, becoming a persistent part of the character’s existence.

When describing chronic pain, talk about:

• Sleep interference
• Emotional toll
• Impaired concentration
• Physical limitations

For those living with chronic pain, a night of restful sleep can seem like a distant memory.

You could write, “Her nights were a symphony of restlessness, each hour punctuated by the harsh notes of pain.” This signals the reader to the constant interruptions in her sleep due to pain.

Chronic pain doesn’t merely manifest physically.

It takes an emotional toll. It can lead to feelings of despair, frustration, and sadness.

A character with chronic pain might be described as battling not just physical discomfort but also a daily war against the encroaching shadows of depression.

Additionally, the concentration required for everyday tasks might be constantly sabotaged by chronic pain.

It’s like a persistent fog clouding the mind, making it hard to focus on anything else.

For instance, “Her thoughts were marred by the gnawing pain, a foggy haze that turned the world around her into an indistinct blur.”

Finally, chronic pain brings with it physical limitations.

It can turn the simplest tasks into insurmountable challenges, reducing a once agile character to a crippled version of their former self.

How to Describe Extreme Pain

Extreme pain, in contrast, is a sudden, overwhelming force, often experienced as a reaction to severe injury or intense situations.

It’s not just about describing the physical sensation but conveying the intensity that dominates the character’s entire world.

Extreme pain can affect speech, reduce eloquent sentences to strangled gasps and stuttered syllables.

It’s the kind of agony that steals breath, grips the vocal cords, and leaves only the raw, primal sounds of suffering.

The immediacy of the reaction to extreme pain is also crucial to capture.

It’s an instinctive recoil, a swift withdrawal from the source of torment. It’s like a lightning bolt of agony that knocks the air out of the lungs and brings the character to their knees.

Finally, consider the sensory impact of extreme pain.

It can blur vision, turn the world into a swirling maelix of incomprehensible shapes, or even cause temporary blindness.

A searing pain might be described as a blinding white light, obliterating everything else in its wake.

How to Describe a Painful Expression

Painful expressions are invaluable tools in a writer’s arsenal to quickly communicate a character’s suffering without explicitly stating it.

When we describe a character’s painful expression, we focus on visible signs of discomfort, painting a vivid picture in the reader’s mind.

Consider changes in color.

Pain can drain the warmth from the skin, leaving the character ghostly pale. Alternatively, it can flush the cheeks, eyes bright and feverish.

You might write about how her once rosy cheeks turned ashen, a stark canvas that highlighted her suffering.

Tears are another potent symbol of pain.

They can fill the eyes, spill down the cheeks, or simply make the eyes glassy and bright.

Describing the sheen of unshed tears in a character’s eyes can be a powerful indicator of their silent suffering.

Finally, pay attention to the tightening of features.

Pain can twist the most serene face into a mask of distress, hardening soft lines into rigid edges. A character’s beautiful face can transform into a grimace, a silent testament to the pain coursing through them.

Metaphors to Describe Pain

Using metaphors to describe pain allows for creativity, adding richness and depth to your descriptions.

Here are 20 metaphors to inspire your writing:

• “Pain was the thief in the night, stealthily robbing him of peace.”
• “Her agony was an iceberg, a vast expanse of suffering hidden beneath the surface.”
• “His torment was a symphony, a heartbreaking melody of sorrow and despair.”
• “Pain was the storm, unrelenting and fierce, leaving devastation in its wake.”
• “Her anguish was a twisted maze, each turn amplifying her despair.”
• “His pain was a puppeteer, pulling on the strings of his endurance.”
• “The agony was a river, a ceaseless flow of torment wearing away at her resolve.”
• “His suffering was a fortress, impenetrable and cold, locking him away from the world.”
• “Pain was the flame, licking at her insides, consuming her piece by piece.”
• “Her torment was a siren song, a haunting melody that drew empathy from the hardest of hearts.”
• “His pain was an echo, a constant reminder of the injury that caused it.”
• “The agony was a ravenous beast, gnawing at her insides with relentless hunger.”
• “Her pain was a monsoon, unpredictable and overwhelming, drenching her soul.”
• “His suffering was an open book, each chapter inked with his resilience.”
• “Pain was a winter, freezing her joy, her hope, her life in its icy grip.”
• “Her agony was a quilt, a patchwork of hurt that covered her existence.”
• “His torment was an echo, a constant reminder of the injury that caused it.”
• “The pain was a labyrinth, a complex web of suffering with no clear exit.”
• “Her anguish was a shadow, a dark presence that loomed over her joy.”
• “Pain was the artist, using her body as a canvas to paint a masterpiece of suffering.”

Final Thoughts: How to Describe Pain in Writing

The effective description of pain can profoundly impact how your readers connect with your characters.

When learning how to describe pain in writing, strive for a balance between direct description and metaphor, physical and emotional aspects. This balance will help you to fully convey the complexity of pain in your narrative.

Related Posts:

• How To Write a Sad Scene: A Full Guide With 10 Examples
• How To Write a Scream (Ultimate Guide + 20 Good Examples)
• How To Write a Funeral Scene (Ultimate Guide + 20 Examples)
• How to Describe a Sunset in Writing: 100 Best Words & Phrases

29 Ways to Describe a Headache

A note: These are for inspiration only . They can’t be copied because they’ve been pulled directly from an author’s copyrighted manuscript (intellectual property is immediately copyrighted when published).

Here’s my list:

• It all made her head ache
• The world’s spinning and I want to vomit, but yeah, I’m okay. His head pounded, sharp and heavy.
• Migraine threatening at the back of his head
• Head throbbing
• A headache ground into her temples
• Concussed by a headache
• Awakened with a monster headache
• Said without interest
• Jane rested her head in her hands and began to rub her temples, trying to massage away the headache.
• He laughed. The pain in his head flashed hard and hot.
• If only her head would stop pounding.
• She closed her eyes, fighting off nausea. Trying, even through the pain, to remember how she could have arrived at this strange, dark place where nothing seemed familiar.
• Stomach heaved
• Wave of nausea
• A headache flared

• Hangover gathering strength like an oncoming storm
• a throbbing headache was developing beneath his temples
• muscle in his right cheek flexed
• Living with her headache
• My headache had returned
• Thrumming/buzzing/purring/vibrating/drumming headache behind her temples
• She winced, brows furrowed tight with pain
• A needling headache behind his right ear
• The rhythm of blood throbbing in my temple
• Skull pounding
• Stick hot needles in her eyes
• temple twitched
• She finally got to the edge of her headache
• Head felt like it was filled with straw
• her heartache had gone numb
• belligerent hangover
• aspirin bounced off his headache like it was armored

More descriptors:

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49 thoughts on “ 29 Ways to Describe a Headache ”

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I am looking for some good blog sites for studying. I was searching over search engines and found your blog site and this really amazing site. best neurologist in delhi.

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Reblogged this on quirkywritingcorner .

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These descriptions actually help me for real life. Thanks.

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I will never run out of words now! Thanks Jacqui. Great post, Aquileana ⭐

I have a headache right now so I’m running through the list. “Winced” Check. “Needling” Check.

Ooosh, and eina as we say here in South Africa .. the ‘eina’ word that is. I’ve heard that a half a baby aspirin taken daily can help prevent migraine?

All very descriptive phrases thank you!

I start each day with 3 regular Bayers. Too much? Hmm…

‘Eina’–never heard that. I’m off to Google it.

In the past few years I’ve had longer headaches mingled with nausea. Not fun. I’m pretty sure I’ve given some characters headaches.

Oooh, not good. I hope they’re occasional, rare, and responsive to OTC drugs.

“Head full of straw.” That’s vivid imagery. I love when descriptions paint an unmistakable picture. I’d actually never thought about giving a character a chronic headache. It’s true to life and distinguishes that person. Great idea!

The ‘head full of straw’ fits perfectly as a side-affect to some of the pain meds available. Which is worse–pummeling pain or inability to focus. Hmm…

Cluster headaches = suicidal pounding on the psyche. There are men (for some reason they are more prevalent with men) with cluster headaches who have committed suicide.

I didn’t know that. Interesting. I have rarely felt that far gone from mine, though I do remember one afternoon, as we were having a pool party, and I couldn’t get out of bed… Thank god for wonderful husbands.

Great list as usual Jacqui. I do like the detail touch of giving characters real life problems. My characters have all suffered headaches at one time or another, though I haven’t written a character with chronic migraine.

It does make them human, and flawed, and as thriller writers (you and I), that’s important.

I’m familiar with headaches as I’m sure most people are. Have you heard about the cluster headache. They’re as much fun as a migraine.

I think they’re worse. Thankfully, I’ve avoided them. There are so many physically maladies worse than headaches. It just doesn’t feel that way in the middle of one!

My first husband suffered from migraines, so all of these terms sound familiar. I find it interesting that you’ve cursed your characters with this known malady. I’m a celiac, but so far, I’ve not been tempted to so afflict any of my “people.” My sister says I should, even if only to raise awareness. I am not so sure.

Well, since I continue to survive headaches, I don’t quite see it as having no upside. I’ve learned to work through pain, to recognize what’s big and little in life, and to swear like a sailor when the time is right. Not bad, hunh?

Damn, and I got the sailor talk without the pain of headaches!

Reblogged this on georgeforfun .

Thanks, George!

My pleasure indeed ));<)))))

As a teenager I popped Darvon like they were jellybeans. Sometimes not more effective. The one nice thing about me being old is that the migraines from which I suffered all my earlier life (starting at age 7!) rarely make an appearance now – thank heaven. I guess hormone depletion has some good aspects. Jacqui, I wish I could offer you something substantive to cure your headaches, but all I can suggest is to try the acupuncture again, or maybe the acupressure. Drink lots of water of course, but you probably do all the right things anyway. I know you eat consciously. Any chance that the headaches are related to the medication you take? Thanks for the list of headache descriptions – this is one area I think I have down pat – unfortunately. BTW: Darvon is no longer available, and I’d stopped taking them years before before I got pregnant. The headaches continued but I turned to milder anodynes, eventually finding that drugs geared to ending migraines worked for me.

7! That is awful. What child can understand that sort of pain. I feel awful when I see students struggling with that horror. I’m glad to hear they’re mostly gone for you, Shari.

I recommend to prevent a headache or get rid of it fast using acupressure (with your own fingertips)..

I have tried acupuncture, with zero results. You think this would be better?

With acupuncture you relied on somebody else, with acupressure YOU LEARN and YOU WIN.

This is another inspiring list, Jacqui. I used to have terrible headaches in my teens but have been lucky the past number of years. ❤

I thought menopause, and then old age, would cure them. NOT.

Sigh. I don’t know why I had all those terrible headaches late teens and early twenties. Gone now. Hope you’re take a hike as well. ❤

I suffer too, and I tend to share the pain with my characters! I like this list, but then I like all your lists because they get the creative juices flowing. Sometimes, if I’ve had a particularly bad migraine I get a little dramatic and I let my characters go to town on the descriptions – using humour to blow the cobwebs away!

I like the humor approach. Have you posted that sort of scene on your blog? I want to read it! Memorize it maybe.

I’m sure I have at some point. I’ll track back and see what I can find 🙂

A migraine will start with my eyes going fuzzy Jacqui, they are the worst.

…and nausea. Pepto works better than my prescription stuff for that.

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WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

Helping writers become bestselling authors

How To Accurately Write About Your Character’s Pain

February 9, 2017 by ANGELA ACKERMAN

The best thing about this online world of ours is you never know who you are going to meet. I don’t know about you, but one of the areas I struggle with is writing a character’s pain in a way that is raw, realistic…but not just “one-note.” So when I crossed paths with a paramedic-turned-writer, I got a little excited. And when she said she’d share her brain with us about the experience of pain, and how to write it authentically, I got A LOT excited. Read on, and make sure to visit Aunt Scripty’s links at the end. Her blog is full of more great medical info for writers.

Writing About Pain (Without Putting your Readers in Agony)

Pain is a fundamental part of the human experience, which means that it’s a fundamental part of storytelling. It’s the root of some of our best metaphors, our most elegant writing. Characters in fiction suffer, because their suffering mirrors our own.

In good writing, physical suffering often mirrors emotional suffering. It heightens drama, raises the stakes, adds yet another hurdle for our hero to jump before they reach their glorious climax.

So why can reading about pain be so boring?

Consider the following (made-up) example:

The pain shot up her arm like fire. She cringed. It exploded in her head with a blinding whiteness. It made her dizzy. It made her reel. The pain was like needles that had been dipped in alcohol had been jammed through her skin, like her arm had been replaced with ice and electricity wired straight into her spine.

For your characters, at its worst the pain can be all-consuming.  For your readers, though, it can become a grind. Let’s be honest, you gave up reading that paragraph by the third sentence.

In another story, a character breaks his ribs in one scene, then has, uhhh, intimate moments with his Special Someone in the next. Where did the agony go‽

There’s a fine line to walk between forgetting your character’s pain, elucidating it, and over-describing it.

So I’m here today to give you a pain scale to work with, and provide some pointers on how to keep in mind a character’s injuries without turning off your readers.

How Much Does It Hurt? A Pain Scale for Writers

Minor/Mild: This is pain that your character notices but doesn’t distract them. Consider words like pinch, sting, smart, stiffness .

Moderate: This is pain that distracts your character but doesn’t truly stop them. Consider words like ache, throb, distress, flare .

Severe: This is pain your character can’t ignore. It will stop them from doing much of anything. Consider words like agony, anguish, suffering, throes, torment, stabbing .

Obliterating: This is the kind of pain that prohibits anything else except being in pain (and doing anything to alleviate it). Consider words like ripping, tearing, writhing .

Metaphors, of course, are going to play somewhere on this spectrum, but I would suggest picking one level of pain and targeting it. For instance, don’t  mix stinging with searing when finding a metaphor to build.

How Often Should We Remind Readers of a Character’s Pain?

Most pain that matters in fiction isn’t a one-and-done kind of a deal. A gunshot wound should burn and itch and ache as it heals. A broken bone should send a jarring blast of lightning into the brain if that bone is jostled or hit.

Injuries need to have consequences. Otherwise, what’s the point?

There are three main ways to remind a reader of your character’s suffering: show them suffering, show them working around their suffering, and a third, more advanced, technique that I’ll mention in a moment.

If you want to show their pain, the easiest way is to tell : “her shoulder ached”; “she rubbed her aching shoulder”; “she rolled her shoulder subconsciously, trying to work out the aching stiffness” all convey what we want.

For frequency, try to limit those mentions to once per scene at the most, and perhaps as rarely as once per chapter.

However, we can choose something closer to the show route, by watching the character work around their injuries: “she opened the door awkwardly with her left hand to avoid the burn on her right”; “she led each step on the staircase with her good leg”; “Martin fiddled with his sling irritably”. That can be a little more frequent. It’s a reminder, but it’s also a small challenge that they’re solving before your very eyes. Huzzah!

For a breakdown of possible conflict scenarios that can lead to your character experiencing pain, go here .

One Final Technique: The Transmission of Agony

My best friend is a paramedic. She’s also had spinal fusion, has multiple slipped discs, and takes a boatload of pain medication. And yet I can see how much pain she’s in when we work together by the way she walks, talks, and carries herself.

Her pain isn’t constant. It changes . It ebbs and flows like the tide. It can be debilitating in one minute, bearable the next. So, too, can the agony of your characters:

“The agony had faded to a dull throb.”

“The pain in my shoulder ramped up the from stiffness all the way to searing, blinding agony faster than I could blink.” 

“ And, just when the pain was at its worst, it dissipated, like fog off some terrible lake .”

Go forth. Inflict suffering and woe upon your characters!

If I can offer one more piece of wisdom, it’s this: research the injury inflicted upon your character. At the very least, try to get a grasp on what their recovery might look like. It will add a level of realism to your writing that you simply can’t fake without it, and remind you that they should stay injured beyond the length of a scene.

Looking for a deep dive on pain, and how to describe minor, major, mortal, invisible injuries and more? This series on How to Write About Pain is a huge help.

Aunt Scripty is a veteran paramedic and author of the ScriptMedic blog at scriptmedicblog.com . In just three short months, her blog has attracted several thousand followers and accidentally started a writing advice blog revolution on Tumblr .

She lives in an undisclosed location with her beautiful wife and imaginary pibble, Steve, and can be found @scriptmedic on Twitter. If you’re not careful, she’ll sneak up on you in a dark alleyway and give you a free ebook .

TIP: To describe a character’s pain, visit this descriptive database :

Angela is a writing coach, international speaker, and bestselling author who loves to travel, teach, empower writers, and pay-it-forward. She also is a founder of One Stop For Writers , a portal to powerful, innovative tools to help writers elevate their storytelling.

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Reader Interactions

October 4, 2021 at 7:08 am

This post is so timely! One of my MC’s suffers with chronic pain from an automobile accident, and I am portraying him using several ways to alleviate it, such as opiates, alcohol, weed. He also has manic depression. Can you direct me to specific resources regarding how such a person “rehabs’? I have him entering a holistic facility, but I’m also wrestling with whether he can ever come off the other stuff completely. Because, they work, even if temporarily. I feel like pain mgt is so poorly understood and not done well for most folks. And the judgment! I have a pharmacist friend who was loathsome of people desperate to get their opiate scripts filled, calling them “street trash.” Any help portraying my guy accurately “healing” would be most appreciated!

October 4, 2021 at 10:20 am

Hi, Ellen. I’m so glad this resource is helping you with your WIP. It sounds like you’re got a good handle on exactly what your character is suffering with, which is important for getting the information you need. To find that information, I would suggest speaking with a doctor. You can talk to your own physician the next time you go in or even put out a call on social media for doctors or nurses who might be willing to answer a few questions about your character’s situation. I’ve found that people love talking about what they do and their areas of specialty and as long as you’re respectful of their time, you can usually get a professional’s feedback for free.

Best of luck to you!

March 10, 2021 at 10:19 am

Ok so my character is being tortured and she got kicked HARD in the chest but I can’t find a good verb to describe how she went back. I also can’t find a way to describe the pain she felt.

November 29, 2021 at 3:45 pm

Probably start with her not recognizing the pain because of the Adrenaline and then explain how the pain escalates… “The pain exploded in her stomach; the dull ache turned into a searing pain” Just some stuff I’ve seen authors do.

March 1, 2021 at 5:16 pm

I have a character that is badly beaten, (injuries consist of the standard bruises and cuts, she has a rather large gash over one eye, and has also been flogged. she has managed to escape her captors only to loose her footing in a pothole and fall to the ground, she cracks a rib in the process.) she is fortunate that a passer by finds her and takes the time out to clean her up ( he is a surgeon) my issue is describing the wounds as he treats her injuries. I’m trying not to put to much description here at this point as she feigns amnesia and he counters her lies with her injuries. i don’t want to repeat myself if that makes sense.

Many thanks in advance.

February 3, 2021 at 2:30 am

My Character is being hunted by a man and finds out that its the same man that killed her mother. How do I describe the pain that this will cause her to feel?

February 4, 2021 at 2:32 am

Now, I’m not a therapist, and what you’re talking about is an emotional wound more than anything. But you’re probably going to want to start with the processing of shock; denial and numbness to kick things off, as the brain struggles to even process the information Next, this is going to rip open any hurts surrounding that loss, which I’d expect she never got proper closure for in the first place if he’s still at large to keep hurting her/her family; that’ll mean a reliving of the grief, and whatever predominant emotions she has left around it (was she mainly angry at the loss? Did she blame the killer more, or did someone else’s choices put her mother in the killer’s path? Was she left lost and confused, did she feel trapped, were there any things she used to find pleasure in that lost their joy due to associations following the event?) your character’s primary coping mechanism? (Everyone has them, don’t lie.) Does she throw herself into projects looking for distractions? Does she get angry and lash out? Does she hide her hurts away from the world? Depending on how she’d normally handle such a horrifying discovery, the knowledge someone’s actively out to get her might deny her that small comfort, which will exasperate the issue even further. Finally, does she know what this killer wants? Do you? Why is he specifically after her? Why did he kill her mother? Can she hide in a crowd, or will reaching out put the people she cares about in danger? These questions should help you identify the TYPE of pain she’ll be feeling (boiling anger might keep the actual hurt at bay until the problem is dealt with, while self-imposed/protective loneliness can drive someone into a depressive spiral) from whence physical descriptions can be relatively easily found by looking up psych studies or other advice articles. (To stick with those two examples, anger is hot, clouds in the head and fists, can induce very similar symptoms of crying such as a tight throat or burning eyes; meanwhile, that kind of loneliness tends to be cold and clear-eyed, hard to choose but frightfully easy to maintain with a forced smile and a quick deflection, and leaves you feeling listless and hopeless while struggling alone.) It comes down really heavily to the type of person your character is, how she copes with adversity and how she copes with loss. No one but you is deep enough in her head to really know what kind of reaction this’ll induce in her, so no one but you can know what kind of reaction you should be describing. I’ve never been in the situation you’re describing, but I’ve dealt with several intentional deaths before (mostly suicides,) and looking around the room for weeks after the fact, not one person was processing the same emotions at any given point in time. Death and grief are messy, even more so when death and/or pain were the intended outcome of the events. And beyond the simple fear for one’s own life (which once again, everyone would deal with differently; both actually trigger fight-flight-freeze in us, grief just takes a brief stop at “oh shit, I feel vulnerable” before turning INTO fear on the way) those are the associated emotions she will have with this man.

February 4, 2021 at 9:06 am

I think MSF has answered your question nicely, Aldre. It truly does depend on the person (their personality, backstory, support system, what other difficulties they’re dealing with, etc.), since different people respond to the same wounding event differently. So doing the background work on your character to really get to know them is super important in figuring out their response.

January 1, 2021 at 3:40 pm

quick Q: how would one care for a stab wound to the left side of the abdomen, directly under the ribs? its a classic fantasy setting, taking place in approximately the middle of the medieval age, and it is a healer treating them, i’m just not sure what exactly he would do, and other websites aren’t the most useful at the moment. thanks:)

January 2, 2021 at 10:56 am

You might want to visit Scriptmedic’s site listed in the post as she has many different scenarios at her site which might help answer this question. 😉

January 3, 2021 at 2:13 am

thank you:)

November 3, 2020 at 6:55 am

my characters have all gone through something that has changed them , the way they think , the way they do things and their judgment in general. but what I’m basically struggling to do is tell their stories in a way that relates to what the story is about which based on what my characters went through that caused them pain and in a way that will convince readers to want to continue reading and continue to want to get the readers to want to get to know each character better

October 17, 2020 at 8:14 pm

I’m writing a story that sets the “Snow White” fairy tale in the modern world and in my version, she eats a candy apple laced with a paralytic drug. What should the actress be displaying upon ingesting it?

October 19, 2020 at 8:29 am

Hi, Marie. It’s good that you’re looking for ways to write this response accurately, since we always want our stories to read as realistic and authentic to readers. I’m unschooled in paralytic drugs and their effects, so you’ll need to research this. A Google search can get you started and help you find some credible sources. You also could talk to doctors own nurses who may be able to give you some good information. Good luck with your story!

June 21, 2020 at 10:09 pm

Here’s a problem I’ve run into:

Character A has been seriously injured in a hostile environment. Character B —a setting-appropriate medic/healer— discovers A and attempts to save A’s life. Functionally, this is a non-combative action scene (a short but vital moment, every choice and instinct raised to the highest stakes, no time/ability to get outside help, this is where the music-director in a movie puts the really intense bits of the score, etc) BUT as a writer, I now have to convey A’s injuries and B’s emergency examination/assessment, how/why this is such a big deal, the moment B chooses (consciously or not) to attempt to save A despite any/all risks, and at least a PORTION of how that treatment is applied, since, you know, the fight to save A’s life is the meat of the scene… without killing the pacing by stopping dead and becoming a textbook. Cutting away to A’s recovery, I’ve found, is good for building up B’s mysteriousness, but risks downplaying the injuries and leaving the audience confused about their repercussions (especially if B tries to comfort A by obfuscating just how serious it was.) Showing B’s struggle to save A’s life is a great character-defining moment for B and gives payoff to the initial trauma, but risks descending into jargon if the steps aren’t explained. Describing A’s injuries in detail really conveys the serious danger A is in, but also brings the momentum to a shrieking halt; keeping the injuries vague once again risks downplaying/confusion.

No one on the internet has written about this problem that I can find; it’s either advice on writing fight scenes, advice on writing injuries (even though emergency treatment is part of dealing with that, right?), or advice on writing actual medical documents.

Challenge modes include: • A is unconscious [and cannot contribute dialogue.] • A and B have never met [this is a character introduction scene.] • B’s healing abilities are beyond current science (either magical or tech,) and have their limits established/reinforced by this scene. [The audience must understand some basic rules of this ability by the end of the scene.] • Scene is from B’s perspective, [meaning B has experience/context the audience might not.] • This is one of your opening scenes, [so you don’t have much time for setting up context before it starts.]

BONUS ROUND! • Be a dumbass like me, and use all challenge modes at once! …Someone please help me…

May 13, 2020 at 10:03 pm

How would you describe someone being in pain because someone they loved was hurting? I am basically transcribing a TV show for my blog/website and one character is being forced to listen to her grandmother dying (On tape) at the hands of a sadistic “Angel of death” They are both handcuffed to a poll so he’s frustrated he can’t physically save her and he’s screaming to get the guy to stop because he’s torturing the woman he loves and he can’t stop him. He just screamed for the angel of death to stop and my heart skipped a beat. It was just well done. He’s trying to get out of his handcuffs. I am not a writer, at all. I usually just transcribe and post screencaps but because this scene would be difficult to do that I am trying to describe what is going on and I don’t have the talent for that.lol Thanks 🙂

May 4, 2020 at 3:33 pm

My character is an animatronic. He’s been captured and tortured by being destroyed and he barely has enough strength to stay conscious. How can I describe his pain?

Sorry if this isn’t a very good question.

May 7, 2020 at 7:28 pm

I would say something along the lines where he could feel his metal structure being torn apart slowly. He probably would have dents in his structure if his body if fully metal. If he has fur/skin/feathers etc with blood and bodily organs like living animals, I would take notice on blood seeping out of wounds, as well as bruises. I’m not the best with animatronics hope this helped fellow writer 😀

November 3, 2020 at 6:33 pm

Thank you! Yes, this helped a bunch!

(Sorry for the late reply-)

March 17, 2020 at 2:52 am

How should I describe someone falling on their back?

March 20, 2020 at 1:04 am

We talking falling from a height?

I’d say winded, it would probably take a few seconds to catch their breath again. Seeing as it’s sorta a heavy feeling of a “Thunk” I would try not so much to describe the pain, but get the reader to relate maybe by describing how hard the surface is so that the reader can infer by their own experience that it hurt. Describe it to make the reader feel uncomfortable or want to rub their back at the thought of it.

You could say that the pain is sudden and maybe include a whip lash effect of their head throwing back and how it pulls up from their shoulders in sudden pain. Maybe some teeth jitters from the head trowed back.

I don’t know that’s a hard one.

February 11, 2020 at 1:58 pm

So in my story there are two times that my main protagonist experiences physical pain. The first would be closer to a physical attack; punched, kicked, the whole nine yards that could be classified as physical abuse. As for the 2nd time, it’s a split second decision as she runs over towards someone to protect them from harm and in turn my protagonist ends up getting stabbed through the chest. I’m having a bit of a hard time describing the sensation from the protagonist’s perspective during the 2nd time of being injured.

March 20, 2020 at 12:52 am

Hello there! I’m quite young and I’m only really here for help with a school thing. I have had personal experience with shock like situations and nerve damage so I figured I would give you some pointers.

Shock is really strange and it honestly takes a lot longer then you would think for your brain to process the situation. Seeing as it’s a split second situation I see this coming into play. Before you understand the full situation you tend to try and move around or look to see what happened to the best of your ability because your body is going through completely unfamiliar sensations. Attempting to move only to then find a sudden pain or you are unable to move as a whole.

As for pain my situation was directly nerve based. Lot’s of numbness and stinging, think someone hammering your funny bone except it shoots throughout your whole body. Seeing as it’s in the chest I would turn to throbbing pain of her heartbeat. The sharp pain comes afterwards when it sinks in and you try your best to move. Shaking is also very important. Think adrenaline and anxiety, your body goes into shock so the thought process isn’t too great. Not a lot of speaking either, it’s hard to make up any sort of conversation.

Passing out because of pain isn’t uncommon either, even more so at the sight of their own blood.

When I was going through shock I asked a bystander to tell me a story to try and distracted myself from the sharp tingly pain and the muscle spasms. Don’t know if any of that helps but I figured I’d say it anyways

January 29, 2020 at 11:27 pm

This was some really helpful information to know! It did help me cover with the light stuff, but I was wondering for times where the scenarios get really gory?

As if the character were to get stabbed, how should it be expressed?

Also, how would it be like if the character just woke up from a coma?

Last question! Do you have a separate page for writing out battle scenes?

November 9, 2019 at 4:42 am

How can I show pain from burning? Like someone was forced to literary walk on fire. I don’t know how to show it to readers. Help please!!!

November 9, 2019 at 12:44 pm

Tara, have a look here: http://www.scriptmedicblog.com/?s=burns

September 10, 2019 at 11:47 am

In my story i am the 1st person and someone is paralyzed because if my ignorance and now he is in the hospital so how should i write that i am in utter despair and agony. And i want him to forgive me. Can you pls help i want a really nice description on that😊

September 10, 2019 at 11:51 am

And yeah i want a description on inner and spiritual pain but not on physical pain. I would really appreciate if someone help me! Thanks

September 10, 2019 at 11:54 am

what you’re looking for is the Emotional Wound Thesaurus: https://writershelpingwriters.net/the-emotional-wound-thesaurus-a-writers-guide-to-psychological-trauma/

September 10, 2019 at 11:57 am

Hi there, as I mentioned in the other comment, you’ll want to dig into the character’s emotional wounds and think about how their behavior will be unique to the character and the situation they are in. The Emotional Wound thesaurus can help with that. For setting description, you’ll want to look at the Urban Setting Thesaurus where it contains different hospital settings and the sensory description to go with them so your setting seems realistic. (Sorry, I wasn’t sure which area of description you meant you were struggling with here.)

April 23, 2019 at 10:23 am

What is the body language of someone in extreme pain?

One of the characters in my work is, for a bunch of reasons: mute. The only way that she can communicate with my POV character is through actions and body language. She’s been injured so badly that, if not for magic she would be dead in seconds, but she’s conscious, unable to scream.

I’ve described her injuries (with words like ‘mangled’ and ‘twisted’, and descriptions of shards of bone poking out where her knees should be), but I really want to hammer home the nightmarish nature of her situation. Magic is involved, healing magic in the setting is not simple or even kind.

April 23, 2019 at 10:37 am

Hi Steve, One of the Amplifiers in our ebooklet, Emotion Amplifiers is “Pain.” That might help you? https://writershelpingwriters.net/emotion-amplifiers/

January 27, 2019 at 9:45 pm

Thank you so much! This was very helpful but am wondering about how to write about an infection?

January 28, 2019 at 9:15 am

Ryan, I would advise you to do some research on the kind of infection so you’ll know what it looks like and how the character will physically respond. You could also talk to medical practitioners for practical information. Best of luck!

January 28, 2019 at 11:48 am

Also, if you go to the site of this guest poster, you’ll see she had more articles on different types of injuries and how to write them, so I would be shocked if she didn’t have something on infections. Just poke around and I’m sure you’ll find some help there. 🙂

January 1, 2019 at 9:18 pm

I have write a character who as cut their feet on rocks and branches. Luckily I have not experienced that first hand, but that makes it hard to write about.

The character is running away for danger and can’t stop to address his injury. I really don’t know how to describe how that feels, and what it does to the body.

Do you think you could help me with some descriptive words?

I would appreciate it,

Cheers, Bella

November 5, 2018 at 2:29 pm

How do describe a flying elbow to the stomach?

November 5, 2018 at 3:07 pm

Hi, Hayden. While I’m thankful this has never happened to me, it unfortunately doesn’t give me any reference for answering your question. But I do remember times when I’ve had the wind knocked out of me and when I have been knocked painfully by someone else. You’ve probably experienced these things too; use those memories to write about how it would feel. Think about things like localized pain, but what other physical sensations it may trigger, like nausea, losing one’s breath, or what happens to the person if the impact causes additional pain, such as them falling down or stumbling backward and hitting their head, etc.

August 8, 2018 at 11:05 pm

My character fell on his face. Not scraping his palms, just his face.

June 23, 2018 at 11:34 am

How would you write a character who is unable to feel pain? (Or hunger, thirst, tiredness, etc.) This is not congenital insensitivity, this is a light fantasy setting where this is paired with moderately increased endurance as a power/mutation. The character in question is a 12 year old girl.

November 5, 2018 at 3:12 pm

Hi, Georgia. I’m sorry, but I’m just now seeing your comment here. For this, you’ll have to show, through the character’s response, that they’re not feeling pain, and whether or not this is normal for her. For instance, you could show her being knocked down, getting up and dusting herself off, and her fingers coming away bloody. Maybe she’s gashed her leg or impaled it on something, and she didn’t notice. And now that she does, she doesn’t respond normally. Maybe she treats it like an inconvenience, bandaging it up or yanking out the offending shard of glass, then trotting off without a limp. Or maybe she consciously affects a limp because she knows that would be normal with such an injury and she wants to avoid notice. Maybe she mentally recalls that a year ago, this would have hurt like you know what, and that’s how her mutation is a blessing in disguise. The important thing here is to know your character’s state of mind regarding her mutation and having her respond accordingly so it doesn’t come off as unrealistic or explanatory to the reader. I hope I’m not too late and you’re able to use this information.

March 18, 2018 at 5:59 pm

How can I describe a knife across the face?

March 19, 2018 at 8:28 am

Hi, James. I’m afraid you’ll have to do some research on this since I’ve had no experience here. Think about times when you’ve experienced a wound to the face, or a cutting wound and apply that knowledge to your character’s situation. You may even be able to Google the question and find some information. Best of luck!

February 25, 2018 at 9:56 pm

I love causing pain to characters (but don’t do it for no reason) and I legitimately could not stop grinning unless I covered my mouth with my hand……. There’s something wrong with me. Anyway, THANK YOU for this, it’s super helpful!

November 22, 2017 at 2:32 pm

My character has a knife slash across her face. She also lives on the streets after fleeing the hospital. Expert your article helped me with: The voices blurred together, mixing into a haze through the pain as they got her to the hospital. She had gotten the impression that a simple cut would have less medical needs. Looking back on it, Ellen thought she was overwhelmed by it all. She was in searing pain, the force of it ripping through her mind like a bomb, after all.

February 17, 2017 at 4:33 pm

So helpful and timely! Thank you!

February 10, 2017 at 4:05 pm

I love this article!! I have a question. I have an alpha male hero who is an amputee. He’s been through therapy and it’s been about four years since he lost his leg. My question involves phantom pain that I’ve read a lot about with amputees. How bad does this kind of pain get in relation to your Mild, Moderate or Severe pain? I have the scene where when he wakes up and it’s throbbing and it’s swollen so he can’t put on his prothesis. I read this in another book. Is that accurate? I have him taking some pain meds. How long does it take before the pain goes away approximately? I mention that he’s been using accpuncture for the pain as well with some success. Is this even accurate??

Thanks, Janice

February 11, 2017 at 10:48 am

Hey Janice! Thanks for your question!

Phantom pain comes from a number of different causes, including damage or pressure on a nerve, especially if scar tissue is putting pressure on it.

While I’m certainly not a pain management specialist, and nothing here is to be considered medical advice — my disclaimer is here ( http://www.scriptmedicblog.com/disclaimer ) — I have a couple of great resources to send you.

The first is an article from the Amputee Coalition, talking about pain and possible treatments, here: http://www.amputee-coalition.org/limb-loss-resource-center/resources-for-pain-management/managing-phantom-pain/

WebMD has a fairly decent article here: http://www.webmd.com/pain-management/guide/phantom-limb-pain#1-4

And Mayo Clinic, my personal favorite resource on the whole wide Webiverse, has a great article here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/phantom-pain/basics/treatment/con-20023268

It seems, from reading these sources, that a combination of medical therapy (including opioids like Vicodin / hydrocodone or Percocet / oxycodone, anticonvulsants such as Neurontin / gabapentin or Lyrica / pregabalin, or tricyclic antidepressants including amitryptaline or tramadol) and non-medical therapy (such as mirror box, applied heat, massage, and, yes, accupuncture etc of the affected leg).

You might think seizure medication or antidepressants are a strange thing to give for phantom limb pain, but they interrupt the way neuropathic pain signals are transmitted and received in the brain. Science: It’s Kinda Neat Sometimes, Huh? (TM).

There’s a GREAT TED talk that, among other things, touches on mirror box therapy here: http://www.ted.com/talks/vilayanur_ramachandran_on_your_mind?language=en

(It helps that that guy has one of the best accents I’ve ever heard in my whole life, by the way, and the talk is fascinating even before dealing with this.)

As to how bad the pain gets, I think that’s up to you to decide, though I’ve heard it *can* be severe; however, he’s been dealing with this for four years now.

Swelling of the stump is certainly possible. In fact, after an amputation, it takes weeks for the swelling to go down enough to even fit an amputee for a prosthesis! This far along it may be irritated skin, or your character may have developed an infection in the site. But just like any area, irritation breeds swelling, itching, and pain.

I hope this was useful! I’d say you’re already headed down the right track, and I would personally like to say I would LOVE to see more amputee heroes in fiction!

Best of luck with your tale.

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

February 10, 2017 at 11:34 am

Excellent post. Thank you Angela for sharing. Like you books, too.

February 9, 2017 at 8:06 pm

This is wonderful information! I find when I write about pain that I fall into the problem of trying to over share the pain of my character. When I go back to read it, I stop reading after the first two sentences (like in the example here). Thank you for sharing this! I appreciate the different levels of pain and the descriptive words to help illustrate them.

Cheers, Jen

February 10, 2017 at 12:10 am

Hi Jennifer! I’m so glad you found it helpful! I know in my own writing I’ve tended toward over-emphasizing pain, especially too early in the story.

One thing I didn’t get a chance to discuss is the idea of ramping up the pain — backing off on descriptions early so that you can maximize them later and not have it be repetitive. It’s the difference between a low-level ache in the shoulder when your character gets out of bed and the ripping, tearing agony when they tear their rotator cuff at the worst possible moment in the story. It’s not always appropriate, but in general, ramping up your character’s pain to mirror scene tension can be an excellent tool if done well.

Good luck with your stories!!

February 9, 2017 at 5:12 pm

Very informative particle. Thank you for sharing.

February 9, 2017 at 11:16 am

Thank you for addressing this problem! It’s very useful information.

February 9, 2017 at 10:41 am

Hey Angela! I just wanted to say thanks so much for having me on the blog, and I hope this post has been helpful for your readers. It’s great to appear on such a fantastic blog!

February 9, 2017 at 1:35 pm

So glad to have you. This info is a great help to many writers. 🙂

February 9, 2017 at 9:48 am

Hi Angela: Thank you so much for Posting and for sharing Aunt Scripty’s Post and website. I’ve signed up for her Newsletter and look forward to using the Resources that she offers.

February 9, 2017 at 7:23 am

Wonderful information and ideas.

[…] Resources:How To Accurately Write About Your Character’s Pain10 Methods to Make Your Character […]

[…] writers find pain difficult to write about, at the risk of downplaying their characters’ pain. However, unless some plot device in the […]

[…] Resources: How To Accurately Write About Your Character’s Pain 10 Methods to Make Your Character […]

[…] there! This is a part of a series on pain and suffering in writing. Part 1 of the series, Writing About Pain (Without Putting Your Readers in Agony), appeared on the eminent and excellent blog WritersHelpingWriters. Thanks again to Angela for […]

[…] How To Accurately Write About Your Character’s Pain – WRITERS HELPING WRITERS® […]

[…] Check out Writing About Pain (Without Putting Your Readers in Agony) here! […]

Describing Words for Headache: Examples & Synonyms

Ever experienced a pounding, throbbing headache that feels like a jackhammer inside your skull? Or perhaps you’ve had a dull, persistent headache that lingers all day, making it hard to concentrate? As someone who has dealt with my fair share of headaches, I know just how frustrating and debilitating they can be. That’s why I’ve put together this guide on adjectives for headache – describing words that can help you articulate and understand the different types of headaches you might experience. In this article, I’ll provide you with a comprehensive list of descriptive adjectives for headaches, along with examples to help you better describe and identify your specific type of headache. So, whether you’re dealing with a splitting, stabbing, or pulsating headache, this guide is here to help you find the right words to express your pain.

Table of Contents

How to Describe headache? – Different Scenarios

Now that we have explored various adjectives to describe headaches, let’s delve into different scenarios where we can apply these descriptive words. When it comes to headaches, each situation may present unique characteristics and symptoms. By understanding and articulating these details, we can better communicate our experiences and seek appropriate treatment. Below, I’ll outline different scenarios and provide examples of how to describe headaches in each case:

1. Migraine Headaches

Migraine headaches are notorious for causing intense pain and a range of other symptoms. When describing a migraine headache, you can use adjectives like:

2. Tension Headaches

Tension headaches are often described as a dull, pressure-like pain. When discussing a tension headache, consider using adjectives such as:

3. Cluster Headaches

Cluster headaches are excruciatingly intense and typically occur in cyclical patterns. Here are some adjectives that can be used to describe cluster headaches:

Remember, these are just a few examples of how to describe headaches in different scenarios. The key is to pay attention to the specific characteristics of your headache and choose adjectives that accurately portray your experience. This will not only help you communicate your symptoms effectively but also assist healthcare professionals in providing appropriate treatment.

Describing Words for headache in English

When it comes to describing headaches, having the right words can make all the difference. As someone who has experienced various types of headaches myself, I understand the importance of being able to communicate the specifics of your pain. In this section, I will share with you a range of adjectives that can help you describe different aspects of a headache. Whether you’re experiencing a migraine, tension headache, or cluster headache, these words will come in handy.

1. Migraine Headache

2. tension headache.

Tension headaches are commonly caused by stress and are characterized by dull, persistent pain. Here are some words that can help you describe a tension headache:

3. Cluster Headache

Using these adjectives can help you accurately describe your headache experience to healthcare professionals, enabling them to provide the appropriate treatment. Remember, being able to effectively communicate your symptoms is crucial for receiving the relief you need.

Note: Consult with a healthcare professional if you consistently experience severe headaches or if your symptoms worsen.

Adjectives for headache

When it comes to describing a headache, there are a wide range of adjectives that can help convey the intensity, type, and sensation of the pain. Whether you’re discussing your symptoms with a healthcare professional or simply trying to articulate your experience to others, using descriptive words can be incredibly helpful. In this section, I’ll provide you with both positive and negative adjectives for describing headaches, along with example sentences to demonstrate their usage.

Positive Adjectives for Headache

When using positive adjectives to describe headaches, we’re focusing on the sensation of relief or the absence of pain. Here are some examples:

Negative Adjectives for Headache

Synonyms and antonyms with example sentences, synonyms for headache.

When it comes to describing headaches, there are several synonyms that can help you convey the intensity or specific type of headache you are experiencing. Here are some useful synonyms for headache:

Antonyms for headache

Antonyms provide a contrasting perspective and can be useful in describing the absence of a headache or a relief from the pain. Here are some antonyms for headache:

Example sentences using antonyms for headache:

Remember, effectively communicating your symptoms to healthcare professionals is crucial for appropriate treatment. If you are experiencing severe or worsening symptoms, consult with a healthcare professional.

Additionally, we have discussed the importance of describing the absence of a headache or the relief from the pain. Words like relieved, eased, or alleviated can help convey the sense of relief we experience when the pain subsides.

Remember, if you are experiencing severe or worsening symptoms, it is always advisable to consult with a healthcare professional. They can provide a proper diagnosis and recommend the appropriate treatment for your specific type of headache.

By utilizing these adjectives, we can better express our symptoms and seek the necessary medical attention. So, the next time you experience a headache, remember to choose your words wisely to accurately describe your pain.

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Stabbed or Scratched: How to Describe Pain in Writing

Think about the worst pain you’ve ever experienced. How would you have described it when you were in the moment? What did it feel like? Did it have a color and texture? Maybe even a sound or a smell? Did it make you perceive your world in different ways? Did you notice what was going on around you? 

Chances are, if you were in enough pain, you probably didn’t notice much beyond, “Wow, this hurts.” It might be after the fact when you start to think more about how pain affects the body and the mind. Although the weird thing about pain is the body is designed to forget it—otherwise no one would ever have more than one child–so it can be hard to recall what exactly it felt like. 

Incidentally, my worst pain was probably giving birth to my son. The epidural had worn off, and it was too late to do anything about it. He was coming, and it was time to push. All I can remember are bright lights, screaming (not sure if that was me or my husband), and a lot of people surrounding me because things weren’t going very well and my little guy was stuck. 

If I had to give it a color, it would have been white or light blue for the lights and uniforms of the medical personnel. If I were giving it a texture, I would say it was smooth, simply because everything was just passing me by like I was sliding through a tunnel until that moment of absolute relief when the worst of it ended with a healthy baby boy placed in my arms. 

When it comes to writing about the pain your characters experience, you need to walk a fine line between taking your reader along to feel that pain without beating them over the head with it (which would also be painful).

With all that in mind, let’s talk about how to describe pain in your writing. In this article, we’ll go over:

• Challenges of writing pain
• Tips for writing about pain
• A list of pain descriptions you can use in your writing

Challenges of Writing Pain

Of course, one of the challenges of writing about pain is that everyone experiences it differently. What might feel like off the charts pain for one person might just be another day in the life of someone who lives with a chronic illness. A splitting migraine for you might feel like a normal headache to your neighbor. 

We also express pain in different ways. Some people try to suppress it and pretend they’re absolutely fine, while others will make sure you know about every single ache and stitch they’re experiencing. Multiple times. And of course, there are the majority of people who will fall somewhere in between. 

The other challenge with writing pain is that it can feel like a real drag to read paragraphs of how much something hurts. 

Consider the following paragraph…

“She dragged herself up as needle-sharp bolts shot through her shoulder, her teeth clenching so hard her jaw ached. Her body trembled and sweat dripped down her forehead as she groaned. When she inhaled, another flash of pain had her seeing double as her head throbbed and her arm felt like it had been cut in two. She stumbled, clutching her flaring limb as her vision went dark and waves of agony seared through her body.”

OKAY, enough already. 

She hurts, we get it. 

You can see from that paragraph how easy it is to go from describing pain in your character to inflicting pain on your reader. It’s a fine line that, like anything, you can get better at with practice.

Tips for Writing About Pain

And of course, to help you out, we’ve got some tips to make it even easier to learn the intricacies of writing about pain. 

Consider the pain level

Not all pain is created equal and some will impact your life in large ways, while others will be nothing more than a minor inconvenience. You can divide your character’s pain into four categories:

• Mild/minor/low: This is the kind of pain that is a little annoying but doesn’t hamper you. A mild headache or a sore muscle. Use words like pinch, sting, stiff, sore. 
• Moderate/medium: This is a higher level of pain that doesn’t debilitate but still  distracts your character from a task or breaks their concentration. Here, you might use words like ache, throb, or flare. 
• Severe/high: This is a type of pain that prevents your character from doing pretty much anything. It’s the kind of pain that will have them laid up in bed. Consider words like anguish, stabbing, or torturous. 
• Obliterating/extreme: This, of course, is the kind of pain that will have your hero writhing on the ground, unable to think of anything else, even pushing away thoughts of how to actually stop it. Think of words like shredding, twisting, knifing, or ripping. Ouch. 

You can also consider the injury and what kinds of pain would result, such as:

• Getting stuck with a pointed object like a sword or tree branch: pricking, drilling, penetrating, stabbing, piercing
• Getting cut with an object like a blade or knife: slicing, cutting, lacerating, sharp
• Having something tear like a muscle or a joint: pulling, wrenching, tearing
• Getting crushed by something heavy like a stone or piece of a crumbling building: pressing, crushing, tight, squeezing, heavy
• Getting whipped or lashed by magic or a whip: whipping, searing, lashing, lacerating
• Getting burned by cold or hot things like fire or ice: scalding, burning, aching, tingling, freezing, numbing, scalding
• Getting attacked by some kind of magic or curse: cruel, vicious, torturing, twisting, writhing

Less is sometimes more

Remember above when we talked about how it can be a drag to read endless paragraphs about how much your character hurts? With that thought in mind, keep your descriptions tight and resist the urge to wax on for too long about it. 

Conversely, if your character just got shot or got a knife in the gut, don’t forget about the pain a moment later. A serious injury doesn’t just magically disappear (unless you’ve created your world that way) just because the action is picking up. Sprinkle in gentle reminders that the injury is still present and affecting your character’s ability to get to their goal. 

After the fact, don’t forget to also allude to it from time to time as they’re recovering. If they’ve been seriously injured, then they’re bound to feel pain as they heal, too. But as we’ve mentioned, keep it brief and treat it with a light hand. Just a mention here or there to weave it into the details with the rest of your story. 

Show, don’t tell

Oh man, not this again. But yes, with pain, this rule is even more important. Don’t tell us it hurts. Tell us what it feels like. If your character has just been stabbed, talk about how it feels like an iron hot poker has just been shoved through their gut. If they’re being crushed by a heavy object, talk about how they’re having trouble breathing. If they’re being tortured, talk about the way they’re trying to detach from the pain and send their mind into protection mode. 

Give your pain consequences

There should be a consequence for the pain, otherwise what’s the point of hurting your character? (There is one exception to this that I’ll talk about in a minute.) Think about what the pain prevents them from doing. If they’ve been stabbed, can they rescue the handsome prince from the tower? 

Think about how much you want pain to play a role in your story. Do you want your reader to believe your character might not make it? Using pain as a plot device is an effective way to drive up the stakes and is a great way to show that “end of the world” moment for your down-on-their luck character. 

Give your character chronic pain

Chronic pain is something many people live with and yet, we don’t tend to see it represented that often in books. Chronic pain can come in the form of a disease or disability, or something like chronic migraines. How you choose to portray that pain and what you do with it is up to you. 

I mentioned above that not all pain needs to serve a purpose, and this is where chronic pain comes in. It doesn’t need to stop the character from doing anything, but it can be used to show how it affects their life, simply because that’s how people sometimes live. And it definitely doesn’t need to be “cured.” In real life, it rarely is, so for a character to simply exist with this as a part of their day to day is perfectly fine.

In fact, the trope of “healing a disability” is one that’s fallen out of favor and can actually be considered problematic. If you do choose to write about chronic pain or disability, be sure to get yourself a sensitivity reader to ensure you aren’t leaning into negative stereotypes or harmful tropes. 

Research your ailments

Pain is one of those things you want to get right. While you can get away with a lot in fiction, especially if you write speculative fiction, pain and injury are pretty universal ideas. 

If one of your characters gets shot or knifed in the stomach in one scene and they’re making dinner plans and heading to the gym in the next, your readers are going to give you the side eye. 

Yes, it’s fiction and the pain tolerances of fictional characters can be different from real life people, but within limits. 

If you’re writing a fantasy creature that heals quickly, that might be one way to overcome an extreme injury. Or maybe you’re writing a thriller with a Jack Ryan-type hero who would never let a little bullet wound get in his way. 

But for most, breathing, living characters, getting their arm nearly hacked off is going to take them down. Make sure you’re exercising realistic limits of pain tolerance.

The blog Script Medic is a great place to start where a medical professional breaks down various injuries for writers. It’s a great way to get information without filling your search history with things the FBI might investigate you for.

Pain Descriptions

Here are some words and phrases to help you describe pain in writing. Obviously, this isn’t an exhaustive list, but this should help get you started:

• A pale complexion
• Arching of the back
• Avoiding others
• Begging to die
• Biting a bottom lip
• Blacking out
• Blotchy skin
• Blurred vision
• Body going into shock
• Calling for help or aid
• Clenched hands and limbs
• Clenching or grinding of teeth
• Dark hollows under the eyes
• Darkness in the corner of vision
• Dragging one foot
• Drinking excessive alcohol
• Drooping eyelids
• Eyes squeezed shut
• Flinching at contact
• Gingerly moving about
• Glassed over eyes
• Gripping another person for help
• Haggard expression
• Hands gripping clothing
• Hanging on to the wall or furniture for support
• Hunched shoulders
• Hyperventilation
• Impatient gestures
• Limp arms, legs, hands, or fingers
• Looking away
• Mouth hanging open
• Nostrils flaring
• Praying to gods of deities
• Repeating oneself
• Rocking or swaying back and forth
• Rubbing areas of pain
• Sawing breaths
• Short, panting breaths
• Shuddering breaths
• Standing still
• Starbursts or floaties in the eyes
• Stilted gait
• Sweat on the brow
• Taking medication
• Tapping the foot
• Taste of blood or copper in mouth
• Tears or wet eyes
• Tentative steps
• Tight muscles and limbs
• Walking stiffly
• Watering eyes

By now, you’re hopefully a bonafide expert on the art of writing pain. As with anything, make sure you’re reading lots of books where pain is described. It can help you see what works and, maybe more importantly, what doesn’t. If you’re reading a book and the character’s pain is starting to feel like a drag, then that’s a good sign the author has taken it too far. 

But if you find yourself aware of the pain, but not distracted by it, then that’s a sign they’ve done their job well. 

If you found this article useful, be sure to visit our growing database of articles at DabbleU . We’re adding new ones every week to help you become your best writing self. We even make it super easy for you and send you all our latest tips, advice, and tricks when you sign up for our weekly newsletter . 

Nisha J Tuli is a YA and adult fantasy and romance author who specializes in glitter-strewn settings and angst-filled kissing scenes. Give her a feisty heroine, a windswept castle, and a dash of true love and she’ll be lost in the pages forever. When Nisha isn’t writing, it’s probably because one of her two kids needs something (but she loves them anyway). After they’re finally asleep, she can be found curled up with her Kobo or knitting sweaters and scarves, perfect for surviving a Canadian winter.

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How to Show, Not Tell Pain

by Fija Callaghan

Pain is an unfortunate reality of human existence. So is experiencing, overcoming, inflicting, dreading, anticipating, and remembering it. But how do we effectively show these things in our writing?

It’s odd that something so universal is riddled with so many pitfalls for the emerging writer. When you explain a character’s pain in your novel or short story, you risk bogging down the narrative with cumbersome exposition, stretching your story’s credibility, or alienating your reader.

In this article, we’ll show you some helpful tips for how to show and describe pain authentically and smoothly in your writing (with some good examples from literature, too!).

What does “show not tell” mean?

“Show, don’t tell” is a rule we hear a lot as writers. It means that instead of explaining something that’s happening, as if you were reciting a witness statement, it’s best to try and find visceral, engaging ways to illustrate what’s happening.

For example, telling the reader “her body hurt,” consider describing the way “her body dragged heavily with each step, the skin on one side a mottled canvas of red, irritated skin and green and purple bruises.”

At no point did we use words like “pain” or “hurt,” but as the reader you can imagine the character’s suffering clearly and distinctly.

Avoiding “telling” things to your reader as much as possible allows them to experience sensations—positive and negative—right beside your characters. This helps them feel more engaged with the story.

Physical pain vs. emotional pain

Your characters will probably experience both physical suffering and emotional distress at some point during your story. It may surprise you to know that the brain often processes emotional and physical pain in very similar ways.

For example, anxiety and heartache can lead to sharp chest and muscle pain, rawness in the throat, and difficulty breathing.

Despite what well-meaning friends might have you think, this isn’t just an illusory sensation; in extreme cases, emotional pain can even lead to a real heart attack—this is called stress cardiomyopathy, or “broken heart syndrome.”

When you’re writing about difficult emotions, consider the ways they might manifest in your characters’ bodies.

Likewise, physical pain has an adverse effect on our emotional state, too. Think about the emotional reactions your characters might have to physical suffering. If our bodies are damaged, we’ll probably be in a bad mood and may have trouble concentrating or remembering things.

Exploring the mental and emotional effects of physical pain can help you “show, not tell” the full scope of your character’s hurt.

Three levels of pain your characters may experience

A character’s pain isn’t a one-size-fits-all prescription. When you’re writing pain in a story, it’s important to consider the different types of experiences your characters may have.

We all experience mild pain at some point in our lives; it’s likely to be a common occurrence among your cast of characters. Mild pain includes things like aching backs, tired limbs, a fuzzy hangover headache, a cut that’s part way healed (we’ll look a bit more at healing processes below), or a sore throat.

These sorts of pains are present enough to be distracting—you don’t forget about them very easily—but they don’t inhibit you too much as you go about your day-to-day life.

In a story, you might use words like blunt pain or a dull, nauseating pain.

Mild pain can be from a physical stimulus—like stubbing your toe—a mental stimulus—like developing a headache after a stressful exam—or a combination of both mental and physical.

Showing the way mild pain and physical discomfort play a role in your character’s day is a good way of inviting the reader into their physicality.

Here’s an example of mild physical pain buffered by emotional pain from The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue , by V.E. Schwab:

The bottle slips through his fingers, shatters on the sidewalk, and he should leave it there, but he doesn’t. He reaches to pick it up, but he loses his balance. His hand comes down on broken glass as he pushed himself back up. It hurts, of course it hurts, but the pain is dampened a little by the vodka, by the wall of grief, by his ruined heart, by everything else.

Here the narrator experiences the sharp pain of cutting glass, but it feels like a mild annoyance under all the emotional turmoil.

Moderate physical pain is the next level on the pain scale, and this is the sort of discomfort that becomes a physical handicap.

If your legs are in moderate pain, you’ll probably have difficulty walking from one side of the room to another; if you have moderate chest pain, it will likely become more challenging to take deep breaths.

Moderate pain doesn’t stop a person from being active, but it will present a greater obstacle and make the activity more challenging.

While mental and emotional stimuli can exacerbate moderate pain—make it even more obtrusive and difficult to deal with—it usually comes from an external, physical source.

Here’s an example of moderate pain described in Magpie Murders by Anthony Horowitz:

I spent three days at the University College Hospital on the Euston Road, which actually didn’t feel nearly long enough after what I’d been through. But that’s how it is these days: the marvels of modern science and all that.… I couldn’t stop coughing and I hated it. My eyes still hadn’t cleared up. This was fairly common after a head injury but the doctors had warned me that the damage might be more permanent.

Rather than lamenting her suffering, the narrator takes an objective approach to showing the circumstances around her pain. The first line implies the severity of the experience without putting pain front and center.

The details show the reader that while the discomfort is still debilitating, the protagonist is able to manage the motions of their day.

Extreme pain is the one we tend to read about most often, but encounter least often in real life. This level of pain becomes a handicap and prevents the character from taking all the actions they normally would.

For example, someone experiencing a severe headache (rather than a moderate one) might not be able to see or hear clearly; someone experiencing severe bodily pain might not be able to use one or more of their body parts—for instance, not being able to use their arm after it was recently broken.

In a story, this might be described as a stabbing pain or a searing pain, rather than a dull ache.

Here’s an example of severe pain being inflicted in If We Were Villains , by M.L. Rio:

The pommel and guard cracked across my face, white-hot stars burst through my field of vision, and pain hit me like a battering ram. Camilo and one of the soldiers shouted at the same time. The rapier slipped loose from my fingers and cracked down beside me as I fell backward onto my elbows, blood gushing from my nose like someone had turned on a faucet.

Notice how the moment begins with a wide lens—the physicality of the action—and then slowly moves closer to the character’s own feelings. Instead of saying “I was in blinding agony,” the narrator describes his movements with a specificity that shows the reader what they must be going through.

Although it can be tempting to put your heroes in severe pain all the time, remember that your readers can become desensitised to these moments if you lean into them too often.

If your hero is constantly getting stabbed and slashed and getting various limbs torn apart by beasties, at some point the reader is going to feel their will to care evaporate; the pain no longer feels important.

To get the greatest impact when you describe pain in your writing, think of the 3—2-1 rule: For each character, show mild pain three times throughout the story, moderate pain twice, and severe pain just once. This will make your scenes feel more realistic and engaging to the reader.

Tips for showing pain in your story

Now that we understand a bit more about the pain thresholds you might explore in a story, here are a few tips to take your writing to the next level.

Turn your character’s pain into an obstacle

The moment a character is hurt isn’t just a singular experience; it impacts their movements, abilities, and choices for the near to semi-distant future. To write pain convincingly, show how your character needs to navigate life through and around it.

In the above example from When We Were Villains , the protagonist has to deal with the effects of his pain for weeks afterward. In one moment, he says:

A sneeze began to form under the splint on my nose, and for a moment I didn’t dare breathe, afraid of how much it would hurt.

This shows the reader how his pain is a constant obstacle that he’s having to account for as he moves through the plot.

Other examples might be showing how they learn to rely on their non-dominant hand; how they use their environment in new ways for balance or mobility; or how they learn to pay more attention to other senses if one of their senses has become impaired.

Being in pain is a little bit like having a rather unpleasant pet. Slowly, you learn how to predict its moods and ways to accommodate for its presence.

Give the pain its own character arc

Pain, even chronic pain, is not constant. There will be moments when it feels horrific and moments where it feels more manageable.

If your protagonist’s pain is inflicted through some external source, such as an injury, the character arc of the suffering will probably be fairly linear—worst at the onset, and then slowly better over time.

However, there may be moments during the healing process where the body doesn’t have the energy to fight off the pain, or when certain medications have worn off, or when some external experience triggers the pain back into being—such as accidentally putting pressure on a flesh wound.

In this case you might say your protagonist “felt fresh pain sear before settling into a dull throb.” When you describe pain as more than one static sensation, you show your reader the way it becomes a living, breathing thing.

Some characters may even experience a “phantom pain,” which is where the body psychosomatically remembers an injury even after it’s healed. This is common in traumatic injuries such as what a soldier may have experienced in a war.

Sometimes phantom pains can become enmeshed in personal folklore, like when a former soldier claims his right shoulder hurts just before it rains.

If your character’s pain is chronic or the result of an illness, it will probably fall into a pattern of ebbing and flowing. To bring your characters’ pain to life, remember to let them experience all the different ways this pain manifests itself throughout the story.

Treat your characters as human

Remember to acknowledge the natural limitations your characters have as people. If your Bond-like hero is constantly getting shot, beaten, and broken and still manages to leap onto a car two stories below and walk away, you’re going to lose your audience.

If your characters’ injuries aren’t having a real, measurable impact, they become nothing more than costumes.

This is true even for characters that aren’t technically human, or human in the way we understand—such as mythical creatures or superheroes. Their limitations may be different than ours, but they will still have a breaking point.

It’s up to you as the writer to determine where that is, keep it consistent, and then show what happens when your character is pushed across it.

Even if your characters are all the same species, you may discover that they don’t all experience or feel pain in the same way. For instance, gender can play a role in the way a character suffers and how much pain they can endure. Women are biologically known to be more pain tolerant due to childbirth and menstruation, while men are more often put in physically stressful environments.

Different professions can also impact a character’s relationship with pain, both in themselves and others.

When crafting your cast of characters, remember to not only define their limitations, but to define the limitations of each one as an individual.

Find the right words to show, don’t tell pain in a story

Every good story has at least one scene where a character is hurt—whether that’s physically, emotionally, or some blend of the two. When you learn how to write pain convincingly and authentically, you make your story feel that much more immersive and intimate to the reader.

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Tag: describing pain in creative writing

How to Describe Pain in Writing

What’s the worst pain you’ve ever felt? And how would you describe it? Describing physical pain in writing is a challenge that most writers face at one time or another. A character might have a headache, give birth, or get injured in an accident or a battle. (By the way, if you’re reading this, you might also want to check

Awesome Resources for Creative Writing: How to Describe Pain

March 29, 2016 By Andy Peloquin

Cheat Sheets For Writing Body Language

What is body language and how do you use it when you write? Use these cheat sheets to help you with your body language descriptions.

What Is Body Language?

People react to situations with micro-expressions, hand gestures, and posture. Most of us are not even aware of them. However, what we do with our body language has a huge impact on other people and how they interpret and perceive us.

‘Even when they don’t express their thoughts verbally, most people constantly throw off clues to what they’re thinking and feeling. Non-verbal messages communicated through the sender’s body movements, facial expressions, vocal tone and volume, and other clues are collectively known as body language.’ ( Psychology Today )

Body language happens when we are doing something. We could be sitting, standing, or walking. We could be talking or thinking . Body language is often an involuntary reaction to something perceived by one of the five senses .

How To Use It In Writing

Using body language is one of the best ways to show and not tell when we write.

This is why we are always told to use body language in our writing. Sometimes, it’s easier said than written. So, I created these cheat sheets to help you show a character’s state of mind through their body language.

When you are completing your character biographies , be sure to include how your main characters move and talk. This is especially important for your protagonist , antagonist , confidant , and love interest . They are the characters that hold the story together and they should be as well-rounded and believable as possible.

The Top Five Tips For Using Body Language

• Use body language to add depth to dialogue .
• Use it because more than 50% of human communication is non-verbal.
• Use it to show how your character’s emotions affect their actions.
• Use it to help you show rather than tell your reader everything.
• Use it in moderation. If overused, it can slow your story down.

TIP: Use our Character Creation Kit  to create great characters for your stories.

Use this list to help you with your body language descriptions. It will help you to translate emotions and thoughts into written body language.

Obviously, a character may exhibit a number of these behaviours. For example, they may be shocked and angry, or shocked and happy.

Use these combinations as needed.

Use our  Character Creation Kit  to create great characters for your stories.

If you enjoyed this, read:

• The 17 Most Popular Genres In Fiction – And Why They Matter
• How To Write A One-Page Synopsis
• 123 Ideas For Character Flaws – A Writer’s Resource
• The 7 Critical Elements Of A Great Book
• All About Parts Of Speech
• Punctuation For Beginners
• 5 Incredibly Simple Ways to Help Writers Show and Not Tell
• 5  Instances When You Need To Tell (And Not Show)
• The 4 Main Characters As Literary Devices
• 106 Ways To Describe Sounds

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Top Tip : Find out more about our workbooks and online courses in our shop .

• Body Language , Creating Characters , Show Don't Tell , Writing Tips from Amanda Patterson

53 thoughts on “Cheat Sheets For Writing Body Language”

Wow….that’s probably one of the most useful lists I’ve ever seen…thanks!

Very useful…simply superb. Will be handy for me when I sit down to write next time.

A mullion trillion thanks for this incredibly useful page of “show” instead of telling. Thank you xx

I would have liked to pin this on pint rest 🙁

This is the best of the “show” lists I have either made or found. Superb.

Love, love, love these! Thanks for compiling them. I’m going to share them and put them in a file to resource. Michelle Random Writing Rants

This is very useful.

Its really helpful….

great post really!!! thanks for sharing

This is one of the most helpful writer’s guide posts I have ever seen. It is so hard not to write “He looked at her in awe”, but think about the specific body language in that situation. It also helps think about the traits a character can have… Every person is different so one can even put individuality into the writing by giving certain characters characteristic emotional expressions.

Thank you so much for sharing this!!

Thank you, Kimberley.

I know I’ll be referring back to this list often. Thank you so much for sharing.

Thank you, Melissa.

Perhaps this is the best way to hone up the writing skills of one’s own and I should be very thankful to you for helping the writers through this .

This is dangerous if astute advice. Anything that aids progress writing is useful, but anything that aids progress stops you thinking – and it is only by thinking that he universe opens a portal and pours out something original.

Great information not only for writing but observation of these behaviors in action. As a school counselor I am interested in non-verbal cues from others.

Great work! high degree of observation! really impressed.

This is great. There is one word that comes up SO OFTEN that it is distracting to me as a reader and that is “gaze.” People are gazing at things, at each other, they’re gazing all over the place. One time I counted the number of times “gaze” was used in a book and found an instance of 5 times in 4 consecutive pages. But another book used “gaze” 5 times in 4 consecutive PARAGRAPHS. Why the editors don’t catch this is beyond me. My favorite “gaze” quote from a book is, “Her brown gaze settled upon the distant mountains.” That didn’t make me think of her brown eyes. My first thought was that she was seeing smog! Is it strange to say a color with “gaze”? I’ve also seen something like, “His blue gaze swung up.” (the man was driving at the time) It sounds strange to me, but maybe that’s just me. The book with the distant mountains sentence used “gaze” heavily from the second page all the way to the second to the last paragraph! It was painful to read. I got rid of the book.

Very helpful to have this all in one place! Thanks!!!

Thank you! This is great! 🙂

Thank you for this post. It’s very helpful.

This is a good list. But I believe we can always be a little more creative in mixing them up to denote various degrees and subtleties in an emotion.

Yes, Ayan. As it says in the post: ‘Obviously, a character may exhibit a number of these behaviours. For example, he may be shocked and angry, or shocked and happy. Use these combinations as needed.’

These cheat sheets are worth their weight in gold! Thank you for taking the time to put them together.

AWESOME! I was just speaking with a friend who mentioned I needed to do this a little more. Thank you so much.

such an amazingly helpful post! Thank you!

Thank you. We’re glad you find this useful.

Melody, Would have ditched that book too. That’s just bad writing.

Please send me any further articles you put out. This one is very helpful. It makes us aware of the use of each movement as a symbol of inner thought. Thanks

This is the most helpful article I have read about telling vs. Showing. Thank you.

Thank you, Wendy.

Thanks for this really usefull I find that I use the same emotions over and over.

Thank you! This is an excellent reference for a desirable result.

“Excellent list,” she said, rubbing her hands together and grinning. ; ) Thank you!

Thank you, Melissa! I love it!!

Excellent!!

I read this very useful and generous article on stumbleupon.com Thank you for sharing your knowledge with me!

Thank you for the positive feedback. I’m pleased that this helps.

Thank you for this :))

Thanks for the helpful post! Great resource for the scripts I’m co-writing.

Simply superb compilation ! No more adjectives.

Thank you! We’re glad that you find these lists helpful.

Very useful! Thank you so much!

What a succinct and useful list!

“Unfortunately,” (pause, lips pursed indicating deliberation and thought) “these are almost” (stress on final word, downward tilt of the head with slight inclination to the left as the speaker maintains gaze on listener indicating mock-serious intent) “entirely” (extra stress on this word, head lifts and turns full-on indicating intent) “cliché” (jaw firms, slight downward shift of the brow, eyes narrow indicating mild annoyance.) “Sorry” (head lifts, jaw pushes out, eyebrows raised indicating belligerence and complete lack of genuine apology).

quite informative, and precise. thanks.

i’m highly grateful to you, thanks a lot n million, may god bless you a long and happy life

This is so useful! Thank you, thank you very much!

OMG! I impressed to read it. Really, you are doing good job.

Very informative thanks!

I need something different for pleading. and it’s not on the list. Why is the emotion I want not almost never on the lists? xP (Arg)

Comments are closed.

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How to Describe Pain in Writing: A Guide for Writers

By Happy Sharer

Introduction

Pain is an experience that everyone has felt in some form or another, but it can be incredibly difficult to accurately put into words. It is a sensory experience that is both physical and emotional, and it can range from mild discomfort to intense agony. As a writer, it is important to know how to effectively and accurately depict pain in your writing. This guide will provide an overview of the issues involved in describing pain as well as tips and examples on how to do so.

Use Emotive Language

One of the best ways to give readers a sense of the pain your characters are feeling is to use emotive language. These are words and phrases that evoke an emotional response in readers, such as “searing” or “agonizing.” You can also use words like “throbbing” or “aching” to give readers a more tangible sense of the physical sensation of pain.

When using emotive language, it is important to avoid over-exaggerating the pain. If you are too heavy-handed with your descriptions, readers may become disengaged or even begin to question the realism of your story. Instead, focus on finding words that accurately portray the intensity of the pain without being overly dramatic.

Describe the Physical Sensations

When attempting to accurately convey the experience of pain in writing, it is important to include descriptive details about the physical sensations involved. Pain can manifest itself as a dull ache, sharp stabbing, throbbing, burning, etc., and it is important to include these details in order to accurately portray the experience.

When describing physical sensations, try to use vivid and specific language. For example, instead of simply saying “the pain was intense” try something like “the pain was a searing, white-hot burn that seemed to spread throughout her entire body.” This type of description will help readers to better understand the experience of pain and connect with the character.

Include Metaphors and Similes

Metaphors and similes can be incredibly useful when attempting to describe pain in writing. They can help to create vivid imagery and evoke powerful emotions in readers. For example, instead of simply saying “the pain was unbearable” you could say something like “the pain was like a thousand hot needles piercing her skin.”

When using metaphors and similes, it is important to make sure they are relevant and appropriate for the specific situation. Avoid clichés and generic comparisons, and instead focus on finding creative and unique ways to accurately portray the pain.

Compare Pain to Other Experiences

Another effective way to describe pain in writing is to compare it to other experiences. This can help to give readers a better understanding of the intensity of the pain and the impact it has on the character. For example, instead of simply saying “the pain was overwhelming” you could say “the pain was like being hit by a truck.”

It is important to be careful when making comparisons, as they can easily become cheesy or unrealistic. Make sure to choose comparisons that are meaningful and relevant to the specific situation.

Demonstrate with Dialogue

When attempting to depict pain in writing, it is important to remember that dialogue can be a powerful tool. Characters’ reactions to pain can often be just as revealing as the physical sensations themselves.

When writing dialogue to demonstrate pain, it is important to remember that it should reflect the character’s individual personality. For example, a tough and stoic character might respond to pain with gritted teeth and one-word responses, while a more emotional character might be more vocal and expressive.

Show the Impact on a Character

Pain is not only a physical sensation, but it can also have a profound impact on a character’s emotional state. When attempting to accurately portray pain in writing, it is important to show the impact it has on the character. This can be done through the character’s dialogue, facial expressions, body language, etc.

For example, a character who is experiencing intense pain might become angry, frustrated, or overwhelmed. Showing the character’s emotional response to the pain can help readers to better understand the experience and connect with the character.

Portray Through Setting Details

In addition to the character’s emotional response, setting details can also be used to effectively depict pain in writing. Details about the environment, such as temperature, lighting, sound, etc., can all be used to enhance the experience of pain for readers.

For example, if a character is experiencing a sharp and intense pain, you might include details about the bright sunlight streaming through the windows or the loud noises of the city outside. These types of details will help to bring the scene to life and make it more vivid and realistic for readers.

Pain is a complex experience that can be difficult to accurately portray in writing. However, by utilizing emotive language, physical sensations, metaphors and similes, comparisons, dialogue, character development, and setting details, writers can effectively and realistically depict pain in their stories. Hopefully this guide has provided helpful tips and examples on how to do so.

(Note: Is this article not meeting your expectations? Do you have knowledge or insights to share? Unlock new opportunities and expand your reach by joining our authors team. Click Registration to join us and share your expertise with our readers.)

Hi, I'm Happy Sharer and I love sharing interesting and useful knowledge with others. I have a passion for learning and enjoy explaining complex concepts in a simple way.

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How to Write About Pain in Fiction

Read our guide on how to write about pain in fiction and how it may help you to leverage pain to add depth to your story, differentiate among characters and propel your plot forward.

When your character experiences emotional, psychological or physical pain, conveying that pain to your readers takes a talented writer. You communicate what the character is experiencing in a way that readers regard as credible and integral to the story. Help your readers empathize with your character’s pain.

When engaged in fiction writing, how can you describe or write about pain accurately? Pain is a part of life, so many writers can use their own experience. Ernest Hemingway had this: “Write hard and clear about what hurts.” Of course, Hemingway had his own unique style of writing. Not every pain should be blatantly described; as you’ll see from the following article, there are different ways of writing about pain. If you’re interested in this topic, you’ll love our guide on  how to write a backstory .

Understanding Pain

Step 1: show, don’t tell, self-inflicted pain, step 2: use sensory details to describe physical pain, step 3: choose the right words to convey the intensity of the pain, step 4: consider the character’s perspective and personality, step 5: convey emotional pain through actions and dialogue, step 6: balance internal and external reactions to emotional pain, step 7: use metaphors and symbolism to convey emotional pain, levels of pain, what happens when the pain gets too much, the bell jar, the fault in our stars, how to describe pain in writing.

Ideally, you would want to have experienced either the same type of pain as your character or similar pain. Past experience will inform how you approach and choose to convey the task.

Regardless of the circumstances your character finds themselves in, bear in mind that there are three types of pain: physical, emotional, and psychological, and they are not mutually exclusive. A person may experience one, two or all three simultaneously or in succession.

A great example of this is Emily Blunt’s character in the screenplay for  A Quiet Place, Part II . Evelyn Abbott, played by Emily Blunt, is simultaneously experiencing the pain of childbirth (physical), the pain of not having a partner to help her (emotional), and the fear of giving birth in a dangerous environment (psychological).

How to Accurately Describe Pain in Writing

Writers should have at least a modicum of intuitiveness. You must know how a particular pain feels to describe it accurately. But what if you’re lucky and never had the same pain as your character? In that case, you should research to find out what it’s like.

Watching documentaries about real-life traumas can help. For instance, the Netflix documentary “The Volcano: Rescue from Whakaari” details the horrific events that unfolded when cruise passengers got caught up in a volcano that erupted while they were sightseeing. The victims describe in detail what it felt like. Be sure to source real-life events, not works of fiction, because you want unfiltered depictions, not descriptions that have been watered down or put through someone else’s perspective that didn’t go through it.

Instead of saying things outright, you can depict pain by the character’s reaction. For example, if a character breaks a bone playing soccer:

• Telling:  The pain seared into his femur and traveled up his leg like a bolt of lightning.
• Showing:  He fell instantly onto the pitch, grasping his leg and writhing, his face contorted as a terrifying scream erupted from his lungs. 

Writing about self-inflicted pain takes courage and sensitivity. There are many reasons why a character might inflict pain upon themselves:

• returning to a place that triggers painful emotions
• trying to win back a lover who keeps rejecting them
• going back to a physically abusive spouse
• drowning sorrows in alcohol/drugs

Write while keeping in mind how you want your reader to perceive the character. For example, in the book “Living Las Vegas” by John O’Brien, the character Ben drives to Vegas to drink himself to death. Do you want your readers to condemn your character for being weak enough to end their own life? Or do you want them to feel pity for your character, who has lost all sense of self-worth?

It’s all about how you want your readers to perceive your character.

Sensory details can evoke understanding in your readers. Use all the senses when possible. Consider this example:

“A strange taste of iron filled his mouth. He hadn’t known the taste of blood before, but he knew he would never forget. His vision blurry, he struggled to remain standing as the room swirled before his eyes, the stench of sweat permeating his nostrils. The crown cheered, but not for him. His knees buckled and he heard the snap of his ankle before the angry pain jettisoned through his bone.”

In the example above, notice the words; “swirled, permeating, buckled, angry, jettisoned.” These are words not necessarily tied to the description of pain, yet when used in this way, they are striking and apropos.

Don’t limit yourself to common “pain” words like “hurt, aching, tender, sore, bruised,” etc. Instead, get creative and source strong words that can be repurposed to get your readers to sense what your character is feeling.

Try different ways to give pain to your character. For instance, your character could have chronic pain that might move the story along or play a dramatic role. Consider using pain as a background to the action. Does the character rub his arthritic hands at the end of the day? Maybe the arthritic pain grips him just as he needs to pull the trigger on a bad guy, allowing the villain to escape.

You could show strength in your character by letting readers in on his old army injury, show how he works through the pain each day, yet his colleagues don’t know of his suffering.

Don’t be obvious when writing about emotional pain. Use actions and dialogue instead of using sentences like, “She felt betrayed.” or “She cried herself to sleep.”

Instead, what about: “She stared into his eyes and knew he was lying.” or “She lay in a fetal position on the bed; wet, wadded tissues carpeting the floor.”

Think about how people often hide their emotional pain. Most of us don’t walk around weeping in public. You could try writing about emotional pain using a technique called juxtaposition:

“It was Saturday. Laundry day. An hour had passed. She sat motionless in front of the dryer, watching her baby’s tiny clothes tumble around behind the glass bubble in the door while she gently held one stray, tiny sock in her lap, a smattering of dried blood marring the pink polka dot pattern.”

A metaphor is a way to describe one thing in terms of something else. Common metaphors relating to pain include:

“His sharp words felt like a knife through my heart.”

“The betrayal was like being stabbed in the back.”

Symbolism is a powerful way to write about emotional pain, too.

“She gripped the scissors with bare white knuckles, listening intently to her accuser.”

When using metaphors and symbolism in this way, be careful to avoid cliches.

Tips For Writing About Psychological Pain

Psychological pain should take a mental and emotional toll on your character, as it would in real life. psychological pain can drive a person to madness if not addressed correctly. It wouldn’t make sense for a mother to have her child wrenched from her arms without some appropriate reaction. She would react instantly, and the repercussions of what happened should reverberate when she is still kept from her child days later.

Flashbacks are a technique to show psychological pain. Just quick little “scenes” interwoven in the narrative can convey deep psychological pain. Other narrative techniques include passing comments or actions from strangers. In the example above, the mother could be in a busy mall, overhearing another woman scolding her child for wandering off. “Stay by my side, I don’t want you to get lost!” The reader will know how much this triggers your character.

Balancing your character’s internal and external reactions to psychological pain is important. They may struggle internally, which you can show by their actions. But if they’re getting a release from pain inwardly, then their outward struggle would be lessened, and vice versa.

Pain levels range from mild to moderate to severe, whether you’re writing about emotional, physical or psychological pain. You may need to use nuance to write about mild pain and strong language to convey severe pain.

• Mild pain:  The vaccine jab was over before it started; nothing more than a pinprick sensation.
• Moderate pain:  It felt odd to pack up her belongings, like putting her in a box to be forgotten on a shelf.
• Severe pain:  He braced himself against the door frame and whispered. It was all he could manage as he slid down the wall, trying to hold his insides from slipping out through the gaping wound.

You can show the pain levels and kind of pain by how your character reacts. How do your characters react when the pain gets to be too much? Giving your characters different pain tolerances is a good way to differentiate them from others. For example, a Jack Reacher-type hero may be strong and smart enough to treat a gunshot after a fight scene and then take down a villain. However, it’d be unrealistic to expect the same from a child or elderly person.

Your characters will have different pain thresholds, like people do in real life. You could play one character off another. One character could collapse under psychological pain while the other one holds strong.

Examples From Famous Literary Works

In the post-apocalyptic book “The Road” by Cormac McCarthy, a father and his son traverse a dystopian terrain where lawlessness and dangers lie everywhere. To demonstrate the psychological pain, McCarthy paints a picture of the landscape:

“On the far side of the river valley the road passed through a stark black burn. Charred and limbless trunks of trees stretching away on every side. Ash moving over the road and the sagging hands of blind wire strung from the blackened lightpoles whining thinly in the wind…Everything as it once had been save faded and weathered.” The Road , Cormac McCarthy

Sylvia Plath famously wrote of her own psychological pain, eventually deciding to end her own life. In “The Bell Jar,” Plath uses a metaphor to describe her painful feelings:

“Girls like that make me sick. I’m so jealous I can’t speak. Nineteen years, and I hadn’t been out of New England except for this trip to New York. It was my first big chance, but here I was, sitting back and letting it run through my fingers like so much water.” The Bell Jar,   Sylvia Plath

The Fault in Our Stars,  by John Green, is a bittersweet tale of love, pain and loss. Green writes about pain and suffering with great empathy and sensitivity, without even mentioning the pain:

“It was a long list. The world contains a lot of dead people. And while Patrick droned on, reading the list from a sheet of paper because it was too long to memorize, I kept my eyes closed, trying to think prayerfully but mostly imagining the day when my name would find its way onto that list, all the way at the end when everyone had stopped listening.” The Fault in Our Stars,   John Green

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Flipdarkfuture New Member

Words for describing a characters reaction to pain.

Discussion in ' Character Development ' started by Flipdarkfuture , May 19, 2012 .

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_f7e661f13bbb80cf03101909a4b3470c'); }); What I'm looking for here is a list of words that describe a reaction to getting hit, or shot, or injured in anyway. I keep going back to using words like yelled, or screamed, or cried out, and sometimes going for gritted. See what I mean? I just don't know any other ways to describe a reaction to pain. Can you help?  

Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_f7e661f13bbb80cf03101909a4b3470c'); }); Do you have any novels around in which a major character is in pain? They are your best source. Hint: Individual words are not the answer. Look at entire scenes.  

Bluesman New Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_f7e661f13bbb80cf03101909a4b3470c'); }); You can describe in detail what's going on, like the feeling of blood running out of the wound and the weird numb feeling of pain hidden by massive amounts of adrenalin ..., instead of literally writing down what the character does (screaming, yelling etc).  

indy5live Active Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_f7e661f13bbb80cf03101909a4b3470c'); }); Cogito is correct. The scene you create will more effectively deliver the message of pain than any single word. I wrote a short story about a girl being torched. I'll give you a few lines from it. Maybe it'll help you with your own scene: "...lies in a daze." "Panicked, adrenaline takes over as she attempts to break free." "...sending a chill down her spine" "A sickly feeling comes over her..." "'She grew exhausted from trying to wiggle herself loose from her zip tie bindings." "...as aggressively as she could in an attempt to break her bondage, then she freezes." "...sending a surge of electrons to every nerve in her brain." "Every muscle in her face tightened..." "...her face turns solid red, she can no longer hold in her desire to scream." "The scream was so intense that it raddled the entire warehouse like a chaotic pinball machine relaying more than one ball" I can go on and on. Pull your reader into the scene and make them feel your characters pain, anger, love, passion, etc.  

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_f7e661f13bbb80cf03101909a4b3470c'); }); Well I'll give a example. What would I say if a character runs through a doorway only to get clotheslined by someone standing around the other side of it? Would something like this do? He dashed through the open door, focusing on the hooded man at the end of the room. A arm came into his vision, and slammed into the front of his neck. He made a choking noise, and tumbled forwards into the room. As his vision wobbled and his thoughts tried to collect themselves, he heard a menacing chuckle.  

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_f7e661f13bbb80cf03101909a4b3470c'); }); Not really. Your POV is inconsistent. You're in the character's head for most of it. But this sentence: He made a choking noise, and tumbled forwards into the room. Click to expand...

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_f7e661f13bbb80cf03101909a4b3470c'); }); Since we have a menacing chuckle at the end. Turn it into a short scene. "Get back here!" He barks at the hooded man as he takes off sprinting towards him. "You will pay fo..." his sentence is interrupted by a high velocity object jamming him in the neck, sending his body slamming onto the tile floor. All the air has escaped his lungs. Grasping for air, he tries to focus his vision and gather his thoughts, but a menacing laugh coming from behind the doorway only adds to his confusion. "Pay for what?" hisses the hidden assailant.  

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_f7e661f13bbb80cf03101909a4b3470c'); }); Yes! That will do! Thanks man!  

BonanzaGirl1 New Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_f7e661f13bbb80cf03101909a4b3470c'); }); indy5live said: ↑ Since we have a menacing chuckle at the end. Turn it into a short scene. "Get back here!" He barks at the hooded man as he takes off sprinting towards him. "You will pay fo..." his sentence is interrupted by a high velocity object jamming him in the neck, sending his body slamming onto the tile floor. All the air has escaped his lungs. Grasping for air, he tries to focus his vision and gather his thoughts, but a menacing laugh coming from behind the doorway only adds to his confusion. "Pay for what?" hisses the hidden assailant. Click to expand...

Caldenfor New Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_f7e661f13bbb80cf03101909a4b3470c'); }); And if you get clothes-lined you most likely won't stagger forwards, you will fall on your backside.  

RaeRae Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_f7e661f13bbb80cf03101909a4b3470c'); }); Great points regarding POV. My writing had that same thing going on with action words but, I had to learn about POV and have it beaten into me while taking Digital Film and Video classes at school. Whether it is on screen or written, you have to stay committed to the POV of the character/ object until you are ready to switch it. I still have trouble sometimes because me mind wonders but I do go back and do some editing.  

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Words to Describe Pain (For Writers)

Not all pain feels the same (personally getting my wisdom teeth out was more manageable than the relentless hell of getting a paper cut between  two fingers in that weird amphibian bit of skin) so here are some words to help add specificity.

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• How to Write Realistic Injuries
• How to Write Realistic Fight Scenes

 Words to Describe Pain

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How to convey (screaming) hysterics in dialogue

It happens to most if not all of us. Something extremely emotional happens to us and we're just hysterical. Logic doesn't work. You contemplate punching a wall because that will help . . . somehow. Perhaps you just had your big idea stolen at work, your partner is trying to console you but it only hurts you more, and you are screaming, crying, and about to burn your house down. Either way, you are manic and your voice carries that tone. I have been told that all caps and multiple exclamation point is bad style so "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!" is pretty much out. So what would best convey that kind of over the edge, spinning your wheels, shrieking kind of hysteric yelling? Would I just explain it after the dialog? For example:

"Honey what's wrong?" asked unassuming husband of wife who was obviously freaking the f- out. "I don't know what to do," said wife in a way matching her frantic pacing of the house tearing her hair out because of reasons previously stated.

• Loosely related: writing.stackexchange.com/questions/45260/… On the nature of writing laughter in dialogue. I believe the answers to this question might help you. –  A. Kvåle Commented Aug 10, 2019 at 14:34

9 Answers 9

All caps can sometimes be acceptable if they're used very sparingly (think once or twice in a book), but yes, it tends to be a sign of bad writing. Extremes of emotion can usually be conveyed through action.

He swept the pictures from the shelf, sending them smashing to the floor. "Who the hell do you think you are?" he shouted. "Answer me!" His fist punched through the drywall.

Very loud screaming is better described than shown through ever-increasing font sizes.

Her words were shrill and deafening. " Get out! "

This gives you much more control over the impressions you create in the reader's mind. You can describe the tone as hysterical, angry, manic, panicked, an indignant roar, a savage scream... and a million other variations that would be impossible to express merely by using capital letters.

Be a perseverent observer. Make a note of things people do during such emotional aggravation. To be exact, the stuff they do subconsciously. Clenching of fists, eyebrows extending, short fast breaths. Show the anger or pain flowing out of the characters. I am not going to give you an example, it'd be too easy. Some people stutter when they are overwhelmed. Some wave hands frantically. Some sweat. Some use "some" words repeatedly, when their mind is unstable.

Build the tension with words. Show the reader how mad/angry/aggravated he is by describing his actions(all in narratives). Blow it up with a single line of dialogue. Use simple yet strong words for the blow. When people are mad its highly unlikely to bring out the best of their vocabulary.

Following the description after the dialogue often misses the effect you seek. Make the reader "feel" that its gonna blow up.

What you people are proposing doesn't work. For example, if my character is hysterical cos his wife been cheating on him and he goes off on a tirade and then exclaims: "...with the cook! THE COOK!!!" None of your convoluted words will convey his emotion as dynamically as the classic shouting CAPS. "THE COOK!" I tell ya.

• 1 For as long as it's used sparingly, yes, I agree. –  SC for reinstatement of Monica Commented Dec 11, 2017 at 16:54
• 1 That's what she said. Who? My Immortal . Oh. I don't think it's a good idea to use all caps. You can, for instance, use the "reaction" of the surroundings to convey how mad your character is. The main objective is to enable your reader to recreate the feeling of the scene. –  Mephistopheles Commented Dec 13, 2017 at 17:54
• 2 All caps may be used sparingly, but multiple exclamation marks outside of the context of comics is downright unpublishable. I would not recommend this. –  Matthew Dave Commented Feb 26, 2020 at 9:15

In my opinion, italics work much better than ALL CAPS. They allow for more descriptive words after the dialogue as well. For example:

" Get away from me! " He yelled, his broad voice deafening.

As opposed to:

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" He yelled.

Using CAPS just seems a bit childish in my opinion.

I would go into more detail about her physical gestures and actions before I have her respond. That is how you show the reader her emotional state. It may be good to have the husband ask again and try to touch her or hug her with her pulling away and shouting.

It's the small touches that add emotion to a story rather than the big sweeping paragraphs and dialogue. Dialogue is there to emphasize the actions. Remember, people are seeing this in their heads as they are reading. Add some details so the picture is clear and then the reader will understand the scene perfectly.

Personally, I like to have the character scream loudly and hysterically, as you were saying you are trying to portray, before quickly quieting down. This strong contrast may help get how loud the scream was across.

Azylo clenched her fists by her sides. Her entire body heaved as long sobs poured out of her mouth and she now used one hand to grab onto her shirt. She heaved forward once more and cried out hysterically, “ don’t abandon me !” ... She continued to shake profusely, her eyes were blurry and heat consumed her. She felt completely helpless . But her voice quieted now, to just a whisper between heavy breathes and hot tears, “Scarlet, please don’t leave me.” It was helpless, she was already long gone.

I heard a shrill, deafening shriek. I looked around, only to find that it was coming from me.

Use italics, and instead of using "AHHHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!", try using descriptive words, and repeating the same word, but as synonyms:

"shrill, deafening shriek"

Try to avoid all caps or multiple punctuation marks.

It may not be my place to share an opinion being only in high school but- I'd like to share my opinion or if you'd call it, ' suggestions '. When I write a hysterical dialogue using caps it doesn't always bring out the full picture. Yes, you can use it with multiple exclamation marks, and yes, you can make the whole speech caps, however, it doesn't portray the character's anger, the character's fury. I like to use slanted text or just speech without caps. Yet, you can bubble up much more by expressing them beforehand or after the dialogue.

From experience, you could use it (all caps) once or twice when nothing else surfaces but, there is a much more creative aspect to writing. Using caps isn't all that bad but when you continuously use them, it simply doesn't show what you are capable of. However, repeated caps in a paragraph don't look well presented, it looks too unclean and not neat. It also conveys a sign of bad writing too. Writing is where you build a picture- just like a printer, you print it out in stages, bit by bit.

You can express their emotions and feeling through violent adjectives or use violent verbs to demonstrate their fierce actions. To express their tiredness and their feeling of being hopeless you could use different hand gestures and breathing patterns. You could paint their sensitivity, their vulnerability, and their feeling of regret/guilt when their anger dissipates through a lack of eye contact or the sudden heated tears. You can use punctuation to indicate their tone of voice, or you could use it to break up the blocky feeling of continued long sentences.

Be creative! Use punctuation to your advantage, stir up the tension, make the sentences short and snappy, and vary the lengths. Make it seem as though time has slowed down or make it as though time is sprinting away. Make it your argument. Make it in your style. Giving you an example won't spring up our imagination, writing is something everyone uses to express their feelings and emotions, which is why you can make up your own! Imagining your own scenario means printing it on paper with words, drawing the character onto paper in your way...

You could create an atmosphere, a heated oven where it takes place, make the air heavy, make it feel like oxygen is running away with every word. Make it so that it's between them- or the group. Make your eye point focus on their little things. Make it rotate around them.

Most importantly, it should seem realistic. Even in a fantasy setting where whales glide in the sky, we are all human, even the little aliens are- in a way, human. Our bitterness and frustration all flow the same. Your character may have large furious eyes, they may sweat, they may carry fast breaths, wildly wave their hands, clench their jaw, clench and unclench their fists. Being observant may help with how you draw your character's anger!

Expressing anger through writing is best done when you yourself are angry. The most quality compositions I've ever created were due to my rage and desire to express myself. You can do this by looking at videos where an innocent person was bullied, especially an old person or a homeless person (this personally builds up my anger) and you will be shocked at how creatively expressive you are. When it comes to the writing its self, it's extremely hard to express the tone of a yell only by putting in quotes "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" so descriptive words can be very useful. Always try and find synonyms for your words (check the exact definitions of the synonyms so that you use them in a proper context). There are more purified yet complex words that can replace simpler dull words. Instead of "far" you may use "distant" instead of "mad" you may use "enraged" instead of "crazy" you may use "psychotic" and etc.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged style dialogue or ask your own question .

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Finding the Words to Describe Your Headache to Doctors

Whether you have a chronic illness or you have no health issues at all, chances are you’ve experienced the unpleasantries of a headache. For frequent or intense sufferers of headaches, describing your concern can feel really frustrating, especially when your symptoms seem hard to pinpoint.

If you’re trying to track down a diagnosis or get treated, knowing how to have productive conversations with your healthcare provider is the first step.

To help you take charge of your pain, this article provides a toolkit for precisely describing your headaches to your doctor. By better describing your symptoms, you can help your doctor narrow down potential causes and start managing your headaches.

What exactly is a headache and why does it happen?

A headache is a pain or discomfort in your head that can vary in intensity, location, and duration. They can be caused by several factors, like stress, muscle tension, inflammation, nerve-related issues, or other factors like underlying illness.

What are the different types of headaches?

Most headaches can be classified into two different types : primary and secondary.

A primary headache is a condition itself. This means that the pain isn’t due to a separate medical condition, but instead, it can be caused by something like genetics or lifestyle habits. Here are some common ones:

• Tension headaches
• Migraine headaches
• Cluster headaches

A secondary headache, on the other hand, is a symptom of an underlying condition. Here are a few examples:

• Sinus or congestion headaches
• Headaches induced by dehydration
• Medication overuse headaches

How to describe your headache pain to a doctor

To help pinpoint a cause, there are 4 main things you should be able to tell your doctor about your pain: type, location, intensity, and timeframe.

There’s some biological process behind whatever type of headache you have. So, depending on what that process is, your headache will show certain characteristics that make it easier to diagnose.

As many of us know all too well, pain can show up in a lot of different ways. With headaches, certain descriptors are often associated with certain types, so using the right language is a good start.

Here are some adjectives your doctor will be familiar with:

2. Location

You can think of your brain as a network of signaling pathways that are all headed in different directions. For different headaches, certain pathways are ‘lit up’ and cause pain in different areas.

Here are a few ways to describe where you feel pain:

• Unilateral : This means that your pain is contained to one side of your head. It can also be a small region, like just behind one eye, for example.
• Bilateral : Pain on both sides of your head is often referred to as bilateral. It may feel evenly dispersed or spread out, but it doesn’t have to affect both sides equally.
• Headband region : This is the area above your eyes that wraps around the back of your head. This also includes the sides of your head or temples.
• Occipital region : The back of your head is a common area to feel a steady ache and it often goes hand-in-hand with the headband region.
• Coming from the inside-out
• Upper back, neck, or shoulders

3. Intensity

One of the most helpful tools for explaining your discomfort is the pain scale. This simple system allows you to rate your pain and makes it easier for your doctor to understand the severity of your headache.

How does the pain scale work?

• Mild (1-3): At this level, your headache is noticeable, but the pain is relatively minor and manageable. It might be an annoyance, but it doesn’t get in the way of daily activities too much.
• Moderate (4-6): A moderate headache can be distracting and might interfere with your ability to focus. The pain is noticeable and might require some over-the-counter pain relief.
• Severe (7-9): At this level, the headache is intense and significantly impacting your daily life. The pain is overwhelming, making it difficult to focus on tasks or find relief with simple pain medications.
• Very Severe (10): A level 10 headache is excruciating and might be described as the worst pain of your life. If it occurs suddenly, it’s sometimes called a thunderclap headache and requires medical attention.

4. Timeframe

How often: They can occur daily, annually, or anywhere in between. Besides the diagnosis, understanding frequency is vital for forming a treatment plan. For example, if you’re taking over-the-counter medication more than twice a week for your headaches, your doctor will probably want to make an alternative plan.

When: Certain headaches can be more common during specific times of the day, and in rare cases like cluster headaches, they can even be seasonal.

For instance, there’s a big difference between headaches that happen at the end of your workday (after staring at your computer) compared to headaches that you wake up with every morning (perhaps due to sleep apnea). In light of that, it’s important to keep track of what else might be going on in the time surrounding your headache, like excessive stress or worse sleep than usual.

How long: As you can imagine, the duration of different headaches varies a lot too. Some may last only 15 minutes to a few hours, while others, like migraines and tension headaches, can sometimes last days.

Some things to consider besides pain:

Additional symptoms

Besides the ache of your headache itself, you should also mention any additional symptoms that accompany your pain.

Cluster headaches are a good example of a headache with a few different accompanying symptoms . Besides pain behind one eye, you may get a runny or congested nose, as well as some occasional tooth and jaw pain.

Other things to pay attention to are mood swings, changes in appetite, muscle tension, or congestion, to name just a few. Changes to your motor or sensory function can be important too. This can be tingling, numbness, or limited movement in your fingers, arms, or legs.

Patterns and triggers

Paying attention to what in your day-to-day life might have triggered a headache is another vital factor. Excessive stress, for example, is one of the most common causes of tension headaches. For cluster headaches, excessive smoking or drinking can trigger an attack, whereas other types can be due to things like caffeine or medication overuse.

Paying attention to these patterns and triggers can help your doctor find a diagnosis, as well as help you preventatively manage your headache pain.

Keeping a Log of Your Headaches

Each time you get a headache, you should note the date, time, duration, and severity . Get specific about the type and location of your pain, as well as accompanying symptoms. If you took pain medication, be sure to record it and keep track of how your symptoms responded. Before you forget, write down what you were doing, what you ate, or any other medications you took before your headache started.

For those with recurring headaches, so many of these vital details get lost in translation by the time you make it to the doctor. By maintaining a record, they can help identify the source of your headache, as well as potential triggers and treatments. Over time, you can also use these notes to track the progress and effectiveness of different medications or lifestyle changes.

Tracking and Managing Your Headaches Effectively

Apps like Guava can guide you through answering these questions so that you describe your headaches correctly. We’ll suggest adjectives to describe your pain, compile the timeline, and pull in other symptoms and metrics you’ve logged that might be associated. Using this data and your relevant health history, we’ll generate a visit prep summary so that when you’re ready to see a doctor, you won’t miss any of the details.

Proactive communication with your doctor is the first step toward effective headache management. By providing detailed and accurate information about your headaches, you’ll allow your healthcare provider to make a precise diagnosis and develop a more personalized treatment plan. Don't hesitate to reach out to your doctor if you need support in managing your headaches. Together, you can work towards finding relief and improving your health.