essay about it was too late to hide my mistake

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Regrets Are Inevitable. Start Learning From Them.

How looking at past mistakes with a different mindset can help us make better decisions.

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“No regrets” might be a popular modern-day mantra, but it’s virtually impossible to live your life without wishing you could do certain things over. Some people try to ignore these feelings; others wallow in them. But author Dan Pink, who recently conducted large U.S. and global surveys on this phenomenon, says the right approach is to instead carefully consider what we regret and why so that we can either reverse course or make better decisions in the future, as well as putting them behind us. Whether you’re frustrated by bad career moves you’ve made, business ideas you didn’t pursue, or relationships you’ve let falter, these regrets can be useful tools for personal growth. Pink’s new book is The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward .

ALISON BEARD: Welcome to the HBR IdeaCast from Harvard Business Review. I’m Alison Beard.

PERSON 1: I wish I didn’t worry about what other people think.

PERSON 2: I regret pretending to be less smart than I actually am simply to please others.

PERSON 3: I regret following a career path for money instead of for my passion.

PERSON 4: I regret putting my life on display for so long on social media.

PERSON 5: I wish I tried harder to foster deeper relationships with my work colleagues.

PERSON 6: I regret ignoring my inner voice and not heeding its plea to be more adventurous, like moving country or changing job when the boss sucks.

PERSON 7: I regret not being kinder. I was too concerned with being right.

PERSON 8: I regret every big decision I’ve ever made.

ALISON BEARD: In case you hadn’t guessed, today’s episode is all about regrets. Why we have them the most common kinds and how to not only get past them, but maybe also harness them for good. Our guest is bestselling author, Dan Pink, and the quotes you just heard from a big study he did asking people all over the world to write in and tell him about their biggest regrets. His latest book, based on that research and the work of many others is called the “Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward.” Dan, I’m so happy to dig into this with you today.

DAN PINK: Alison, I’m so glad to be with you.

ALISON BEARD: So, let’s start with the basics. What is regret and why do we humans feel it so very often?

DAN PINK: Two very important questions. So regret is an emotion. It’s a negative emotion and it’s a backward-looking emotion. So we feel bad when we look backward and say to ourselves, if only, that’s the catchphrase, if only I had decided differently, taken a different path, the present would be better. And so it involves this incredible ability of us to travel through time in our heads, to negate what really happened and re-imagine a present based on that negated past. It’s crazy. I mean, it’s incredibly cognitively sophisticated. Now it’s also ubiquitous. Everybody has regrets. It’s one of the most common emotions that we have. And you have to wonder why something that is so aversive that it hurts is also so common. And I think the answer to that is pretty clear. It’s because regret, when we treat it right, is useful, it can help us.

ALISON BEARD: I get evolutionarily why something like anxiety and negative emotion would be helpful because you’re thinking about the future and that’s helping you prepare for it. Why is regret also helpful when in most cases you can’t change the past?

DAN PINK: Because we can learn from the past. Because it provides guidance to us. And I think that it’s a really, really important question you’re asking there because we sometimes fall prey to the idea that we should never look backward, always gaze forward to the future, always be positive and looking backward is dangerous and that’s wrong. Looking backward is one way that we learn. It’s actually an incredibly important way that we learn. And when we process regret properly, it has two very powerful attributes. One is that it clarifies what matters to us. When a regret lingers that tells us something. If you make a mistake and a week later, you don’t care about it or you take an action. And a week later, two weeks later, a month later, you don’t care about it, that tells you something too.

But the regrets that linger with you are clarifying. They tell you what matter, what’s more, they instruct you how to do better in the future. The trouble is with regret like many negative emotions, we haven’t been taught how to deal with them properly. And so what happens is that we either ignore them, which is dangerous. It leads to delusion. We don’t learn or we get captured by them and that leads to despair. And what we need to do is be able to confront our negative emotions, particularly, this incredibly common or most common negative emotion of regret.

ALISON BEARD: So the research you did for this book was so interesting, surveying people all over the world. What did you find about the most common types of regrets that people have?

DAN PINK: Well, along with looking at the academic literature, I did two pieces of research of my own. One was something I called the American Regret Project, which was a large quantitative survey of the US population. And so I had asked people to give me their regrets and then they put them in categories like career and family and relationships and health. And I found that people regret a lot of stuff. It’s all over the place. So a very unsatisfying answer. Now the good news here is that I also did another piece of research, a qualitative piece of research called The World Regret Survey, where I simply just asked people around the world to tell me one of their regrets, tell me one of their biggest regrets. And to my surprise, with just a couple of tweets, we ended up with 15,000. We’re now over 18,000 regrets from over a hundred countries. It’s crazy.

ALISON BEARD: It’s like a little bit of a confessional, I guess.

DAN PINK: It was very much an online confessional. And when I read through those and I read the vast, vast, vast, vast, vast majority of them, I discovered something else that one layer down there was something else going on in people’s regrets that the domains of life didn’t so much matter. What really mattered was this underlying almost hidden architecture of motivation and meaning. And I found that around the world, people over and over again, it was really surprising to me. People ended up regretting the same four things

ALISON BEARD: And take us through them.

DAN PINK: So one of them is what I call a foundation regret. A really big one was not saving money, right? So, I spend too much and save too little. Others foundation regrets, outside of the United States, I had a huge number of people regretting smoking. These are regrets about the small things that we didn’t do typically, or did wrong early in our life that each one didn’t have a cataclysmic effect, but the accumulated effect of these was huge. So foundation regrets are, if only I’d done the work.

Second one, I think really important with regard to careers and business. These are boldness regrets. And some of the regrets that we heard at the top of this show were very quintessential boldness regrets. I have, among American college graduates an astonishing number of regrets of people who regretted not studying abroad when they were in college. Hmm. I mean, yeah. I was surprised by it. Did you study abroad in college?

ALISON BEARD: I didn’t. I traveled a little-

DAN PINK: Do you regret that,

ALISON BEARD: …but I didn’t.

DAN PINK: Yeah. Is that a regret for you?

ALISON BEARD: No, only because I ended up moving to London for five years when I was in my twenties.

DAN PINK: Of course. Okay.

ALISON BEARD: So I feel like I did it then.

DAN PINK: So you extinguished that. Well, a lot of people haven’t extinguished that, it was a surprisingly common regret among college graduates, Alison, to the point where, and this is where your listeners can step in. There’s a business idea here. There’s a travel agency to be started that serves American college graduates who didn’t study abroad and regret it, and now want to do something like that.

ALISON BEARD: And that’s another boldness regret. I didn’t start that business. I wanted, I didn’t pursue that brilliant idea that would made millions of dollars.

DAN PINK: That’s another boldness regret. I stayed in the lack luster job and didn’t start a business. Another one is not asking people out on a date. And so if you look at these regrets, one is an education regret. One is a career regret. One is a romance regret, but they’re all the same. It’s a regret that says if only I’d taken the chance and that’s a boldness regret.

So third category, moral regrets. If only I’d done the right thing, you’re at a juncture, you can do the right thing. You can do the wrong thing. You do the wrong thing. These were often regrets about bullying, marital infidelity, those kinds of things.

And then finally there are connection regrets, which are about relationships, but not necessarily romantic relationships. In fact, mostly not romantic relationships, relationships with parents and kids and siblings and relatives. And, oh my gosh, a lot about friends. Where a relationship was intact or should have been intact. It drifts apart, one side wants to reach out. They don’t reach out. They think the other side’s not going to care. They think it’s going to be awkward to reach out so they drift apart further. And then in certain circumstances, it’s too late. So connection regrets are if only I’d reached out. And over and over again, these are the regrets that kept coming up. And it didn’t really so much matter to the domain of life. What mattered was, what was going on underneath, beneath the surface.

ALISON BEARD: And there’s another theme that I saw in the book and I hear when you’re talking and that sort of action versus inaction, do people regret the bad things they do, or the mistakes they make more than the chances they didn’t take or vice versa.

DAN PINK: That is a hugely important issue. When we think about the architecture of regret, as exactly as you say, Alison, you can have a regrets of action. I regret what I did or regrets of inaction. I regret what I didn’t do.

In our twenties or so people have equal numbers of regrets of action and in action. But as they age, like even into their thirties, well into their forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, they have many more regrets about inaction than about action. And I think that’s because with an action regret, let’s say you’ve hurt somebody, yeah, you can apologize. You can make amends. There’s certain things that you can undo. You can make restitution. You can sometimes see if you can find a silver lining in them. But the inaction regrets really, really nag us.

ALISON BEARD: And I know you didn’t categorize things this way, but this is a Harvard Business Review show, so I do want to dig into sort of career and work related regrets. We heard that sampling in the intro. What else did you find there? What were some of the themes that came out?

DAN PINK: And, the career, yeah, it’s very interesting because even the career regrets seem to group into these categories. And I think that the biggest ones were boldness and connection regrets. Boldness is a very, very interesting category for career regrets because it wasn’t only people saying, “Oh, if only I had started a business.” There were a very large number of regrets about speaking up.

There were very few people who felt that they had excesses of assertiveness or even extroversion, but there were people who felt that they were hobbled by meekness, by not speaking up, by timidity, by what they called introversion.

And I really think that these speaking up regrets are a message to organizations that you want to provide places where people feel emboldened to speak up. Connection regrets were actually really interesting too. There’s one that really sticks with me. And it’s representative of a decent number of regrets. And it’s a guy who, he didn’t leave his email address. So I don’t know who he is. He’s a 60, all I know he is a 62 year old man from Pennsylvania.

ALISON BEARD: That was one of the quotes I chose. I wish I’d tried harder to foster relationships, but you can give the extra detail, which I cut out of the quote.

DAN PINK: Exactly. That was in there because, because it’s the other part that really stuck with me and really, and saddened me because he said, “I wish I had had fostered better connections with my work colleagues.” And he goes on to say, I’ve been working at the same place for 30 years and I don’t feel like anybody I work with is really a friend. I mean, that’s incredible.

ALISON BEARD: And sad.

DAN PINK: I found that one really sad. There’s a lot of sadness. There’s some sadness in these regrets. There’s actually, I think a lot of aspiration and joy and reaching for something better in life in there. It’s surprisingly, it’s weirdly uplifting to read all these regrets. I mean, I know that sounds strange, but that one, that one has really stuck with me. This man who’s been working at this place for 30 years and doesn’t feel like any of the people he’s worked with are his friends. And again, if I had talked to him, I’d say, you know what? That might not be entirely on you. It might be something about the culture of the place where you’re working.

ALISON BEARD: Okay. So I want to get into sort of either getting over regret or harnessing regret for good. My first question is about the former, we don’t want people getting stuck in rumination and sort of rethinking every decision they’ve ever made. What’s your advice for people on how to not get stuck in that way, particularly when it’s a mistake that can’t be changed?

DAN PINK: The starting point is for all regrets in my view is how we treat ourselves. And one of the things that comes out very clearly is that the way we talk about ourselves is ridiculous. It’s cruel it. We talk about ourselves with such savagery. We would never treat anybody else that way. I mean, if you heard the way that I talked to myself when I exercise, you would think I was a madman. Like I shouldn’t be around other people. And there’s very little evidence that’s effective. That’s the thing. That’s crazy.

What’s more effective, and we have 20 years of research on this, is something called self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness rather than contempt. Treat yourself with the same kindness you treat, somebody else recognize that your mistakes are part of the human condition. Look at your mistakes as a moment, rather than the full definition of your life.

Then I’m a big believer in disclosure that we talked about it before and it is as exactly as you pointed out, Alison, it is telling that 15,000 people decided that they wanted to share a regret with a complete stranger, that tells us something. When I set up this survey and had people contribute their regrets, I gave them the option. I said, if you want to be contacted for a follow up interview, feel free to include your email address. Thinking that we get maybe 5%, 6%, we got 32% of people opted in to be contacted.

ALISON BEARD: That’s amazing.

DAN PINK: I know. Isn’t it. Yeah. It’s like, not only do I want to tell my biggest regret to a complete stranger, but I’m going to give him my email address so I can talk to him more about it.

ALISON BEARD: Right. It’s actually, I shouldn’t say it’s amazing because whenever I do something that I feel bad about, like I’ve made a social faux pas or messed up at work, the immediate thing I do is just tell as many people as I can about it. Just sort of like talk it out. And I tell my kids that. I’m like, if you do something wrong, it feels so much better if you just tell people about it. It’s almost like making fun of yourself.

DAN PINK: Exactly. Well, it’s more than that. It’s actually more profound than that, Alison, because what you’re doing is you’re unburdening. That’s very important. But the other thing you’re doing when we talk about our regrets, even write about our regrets privately is you are making sense of them. And here’s the thing. This is part of our problem with negative emotions. We don’t know how to deal with them. I’m glad that you’re giving that instruction to your kids. I wish that more parents gave those instructions to their kids because emotions in general are blobby and amorphous. That’s what makes positive emotions so wonderful. They glow, they’re abstract. They’re like these gauzy clouds around us. That’s why positive emotions feel so good. But it’s also why negative emotions feel so bad. They’re the abstraction that is kind of menacing.

And so when you talk about them, you convert that blobby abstraction into concrete words, and that makes them less menacing. So that’s what you’re saying when you say you’re making fun of yourself, you’re actually reducing the menace by moving it from abstract to concrete. And that begins the sense making process.

ALISON BEARD: And then we start to learn about what we would do better next time?

DAN PINK: Exactly. And that’s the next step would be to extract a lesson from it. And the way that we extract a lesson from it is by getting some distance from it. We are terrible at solving our own problems generally, but we’re not bad at solving other people’s problems. Because when we solve our own problems, we’re too enmeshed in the details. We don’t see the big picture, but when we solve other people’s problems, we can actually take a step back. So there are all kinds of techniques where you can, goofy things like talking to yourself in the third person.

Other things I really like is kind of making a phone call to yourself 10 years from now. So what does the Alison of 2032 wants you to do? Because she has your best interest in mind. But even my favorite decision making technique of any kind, forget about regret is if you’re at a juncture, you’re deciding what to do, ask yourself, what would I tell my best friend to do? I’ve been in so many situations where someone comes to me and say, “Oh, I don’t know what to do. I got to be…” And I say, “Well, what would you tell your best friend to do?” And they say, “Oh, well, I’d tell her to….” And I’m like, “okay, I think that’s what you should do.”

But we don’t see that because when we deal with our own problems, we plunge in like scuba divers. And what we should be doing is zooming out like oceanographers.

ALISON BEARD: This learning lesson piece of it, I completely get that, examine your past to make sure you do better in the future. But I do worry in that regard about unintended consequences, so people who regret not taking a risk before. And so then take one, they shouldn’t, or the opposite, you didn’t play it safe earlier. So now you play it too safe. Can that happen too?

DAN PINK: Absolutely. I mean. There’s no question about that because human beings are imperfect decision makers. But this is why it’s important to, when during that examination to examine the decision itself and the context you were in at the moment that I think is really important. So if you ask yourself, okay, I’m going to go back in time and say, “Ah, if only I hadn’t taken that job, I wasted two or three years. And it was just a disaster.” You have to look back on who you were when you made that decision and the information that you had and scrutinized the decision that way and really try to draw a lesson from that.

So it could be that you just didn’t know that you were completely taken by surprise, that you had done your due diligence, that you had researched the place that you were working. You had talked to people who had worked there and the situation changed, and there was nothing you can do about it. I think that learning that there isn’t a lesson is that self a lesson and prevents people from over-indexing and swerving from last time I didn’t take the risk. Now I’m going to play it safe. Last time I played it safe, now I’m going to take the risk.

ALISON BEARD: Yeah. And another thing that really struck me in reading the examples and case studies that you included in the book is how many people regret things that they actually have the opportunity to fix, particularly on the relationship level, even with regard to career things. You didn’t study abroad, so maybe take a job abroad. How do you get people to sort of move past that mindset of thinking about it and then doing something about it?

DAN PINK: Well, that’s a really, really great point. And I think part of it is-

ALISON BEARD: Like right now, I really regret letting my cat into this closet where I’m recording the studio and I can fix it theoretically by locking him out again. But it’s really frustrating. It’s my big regret from this interview. Okay. There he goes.

DAN PINK: Is the cat still in there? Do you need to get rid of it?

ALISON BEARD: There he goes. I’ve gotten rid of him and I hope he doesn’t scratch on the door again. Go ahead.

DAN PINK: So there you go. You’ve just been a very positive role model for dealing with your regrets. One of the things that was kind of in interesting is that when I was interviewing people, the story would change. So, there was a woman who I talked to who was resistant to reach out to this friend of hers from 25 years ago because she was very close to her in college and they drifted apart. And I was talking to her about why that was, and I did several interviews with her and at one point she emailed me and said, “Oh, I’m going to reach out to her.”

And I’m like, “Okay, all right. If you do that, let me know.” And then, but she doesn’t do it. And then, I actually write up her story and she says, “I just reached out to her.” Oh, great. Okay. Now your story’s changing. Oh. And she got back to me within two hours. I’m like, oh great. Here we go. The story’s changing again and says, now we’re having a virtual lunch. And so I think that reckoning with the regret, acknowledging it and disclosing it can be catalytic in that regard. It can actually show us that we can do something about it.

ALISON BEARD: Yeah. And I will admit that when I first saw that title of your book, I thought, “Oh, why didn’t you make it like avoiding regret?”

DAN PINK: Yeah.

ALISON BEARD: But I get the point. We’re not supposed to avoid it. It’s going to help us. At the same time, can’t we also look back at like the good moves that we’ve made or the good non moves that we’ve made and figure out what we got right. Instead of focusing so much on what we got wrong.

DAN PINK: You know, we have this crisis going on among people in high school and high school age and college age, young men and women who are being hobbled. And I think a reason for that is that we haven’t taught them how to deal with negative emotions. We haven’t told them that negative emotions are part of life and you can deal with them in a systematic way.

So what happens is that when they feel the sphere of a negative emotion, they think, oh my God, there’s something wrong with me. I’m broken. Everybody else is so relentlessly positive. I got a serious, serious problem and that can lead them to despair rather than to this, I think much more productive approach of looking at that word regret in big yellow letters on the cover of this book and saying, hello, regret. I’m going to stare you in the eye and I’m going to learn from you.

ALISON BEARD: So you talk about writing a failure resume, but your mention of college students makes me think that instead of those essays about all the accomplishments they’ve had, everyone should just talk about like all the terrible mistakes they’ve made and what they’ve learned from them.

DAN PINK: I mean there is a, I think that can get a little performative when someone says what’s your, it’s like those job interviews, what’s your biggest weakness. I care too much and work too hard.

ALISON BEARD: I’m a perfectionist.

DAN PINK: So I think that can get a little, I think that can get, yeah, I’m a perfectionist. I care too much about my boss. I treat my boss too well. We do everything my boss tells me.

But the failure resume is a brilliant idea from Tina Seelig and I’ve done it and it’s been very useful for me and essentially, it’s like a negative resume. You list all of your screw-ups, your failures, your setbacks, your mistakes. List, those in one column. And then in the next column, you list the lesson that you learned from it. And then you list what you’re going to do about it. And to one of your earlier questions, Alison, when I did this, it was really revelatory for me. So it listed all of the, and there were almost all, I didn’t go into personal mistakes in this one. There were enough professional mistakes to last me for a while.

What I realized was that for some of these mistakes and some of these setbacks, there actually wasn’t a lesson. Okay? Like the lesson was sometimes things don’t work out. The lesson was, the universe is random and you just don’t know. And that’s reassuring in a way, that’s reassuring in a way. What’s more is that what I discovered is that earlier, especially earlier in my professional life, I had been making the same two mistakes over and over again. Those mistakes rose to the surface when I started extracting lessons from the failure. So I found it an incredibly useful exercise. And it’s not public. It’s for yourself.

ALISON BEARD: Now I’m curious, what were the two mistakes that you kept making over and over again?

DAN PINK: Oh, I’ll happily talk about those. One of them was that in many decisions earlier, professional decisions earlier in my life, I went into jobs or other kinds of situations without knowing anything about what it was really like, about going in and making assumptions, going in without doing any due diligence going in and not doing any what’s called surrogation, looking for a surrogate. I’ll give you an example. I went to law school. It’s crazy. Alison, I went to law school, having never visited a law school. I went to law school, having never sat in on a law school class. I went to law school having never talked to a lawyer about what she did.

Like that’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t tell my own kids to do that. I wouldn’t do that in any situation now. So that was a big one. Overconfidence about what I knew and not doing the work.

The other one was actually committing to projects that I wasn’t 100% into. So I’ve had a couple of things flop and I realized, and I’m unpacking why they flopped, it was ultimately I didn’t care. And I wasn’t willing to give a hundred percent to it. And, it’s hard to get stuff done when you’re not giving a hundred percent. For me, at least it’s impossible to get good work done if you’re not in it all the way. And then that’s been a really important lesson for me in some ways, doing less and also in doing things where back to Derek Severs has this great heuristic where he says, “If it’s not a hell, yes, it’s a no.”

ALISON BEARD:  Yeah. And you talked about workplace culture and how that can sort of force people into doing things that they regret. I wonder what advice you have for leaders or managers of teams about A, how to prevent that, but then B also to help their employees have a better mindset about the regrets that they do have professionally and the mistakes that they’ve made.

DAN PINK: Sure. On the first part, I think that a big part of it is actually thinking about these four core regrets as a photographic negative of what a good culture is. This chorus of now 18,000 people who are telling me what they regret most are also telling me what they value most. And it’s clear that if they value it in their lives, they should probably value it at work. What do they value? They value stability. So provide, fair pay and predictability. They value boldness. So provide psychological safety so people can be more entrepreneurial, take sensible risks, speak up. They value morality in being good. So be open and transparent and have a purpose. They value connection. So foster a sense of belonging.

Now on the second part, let’s go back to our old friend disclosure. I think that there is an important role for leaders to play in talking about their own regrets, because first of all, I think it’ll help them personally by disclosing their regrets and beginning the sense making process and extracting lessons from them. What’s more is that it will, I think, embolden other people to not bury their regrets, but to actually confront them themselves. I even am a fan of something called a regret circle where you gather, five people, six people, and you go around, each person talks about one regret and the other five help them make sense of it and extract a lesson from it. I think that’s a very, very healthy thing to do.

And what we know is that when we, it’s not a hundred percent the case, but it’s much more often true than not true, that when we disclose our vulnerabilities, our mistakes, our setbacks, people don’t think less of us. They often think more of us. And I think that’s a really important leadership lesson. And it sounds a little bit nutty, but so did vulnerability 10 years ago. 10 years ago, we weren’t really talking about vulnerability. Now, everyone and their brother-in-law is talking about vulnerability. And, and I think that’s a good thing. And this to me seems to be on the same kind of trajectory.

ALISON BEARD: Terrific. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show. I loved reading the stories. I loved learning about the research and it’s been great talking to you.

DAN PINK: Alison, always a pleasure. Thank you for having me.

ALISON BEARD: That’s Dan Pink, author of many books, including his latest, the Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward.

If you enjoyed this episode, you can also check out our past interviews with Dan, that’s episode 339 called Why We’re All In Sales and a throwback to 2010 called What Motivates Us, that’s episode 183.

Listeners, we want to hear from you. This spring we’ll be airing a special series with Marcus Buckingham on How to Find Joy in Your Work. Head to hbr.org/ideacast/loveandwork to answer some questions about your own job. And you might just be featured in the show.

This episode was produced by Mary Dooe. We get technical help from Rob Eckhardt. Ian Fox is our audio product manager. Thanks for listening to the HBR IdeaCast I’m Alison Beard.

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30 Examples: How To Apologize for a Mistake Professionally

By Status.net Editorial Team on February 4, 2024 — 14 minutes to read

Recognizing when you’ve made a mistake and displaying genuine regret is a valuable skill for building relationships and resolving conflicts professionally. Knowing how to apologize sincerely not only improves your standing in the eyes of others but also helps with your self-improvement.

Acknowledging the Mistake

Identify the error.

When apologizing for a mistake professionally, it’s important to first identify the error you made. Clearly stating the mistake shows that you understand the issue and can help prevent any miscommunication. This way, the person receiving the apology knows what you’re apologizing for. Consider using these example phrases to identify your mistake:

• “I realize that I missed the deadline for submitting the report.”
• “I mistakenly sent the incorrect version of the document to the client.”
• “I acknowledge that my error in the presentation impacted our team negatively.”

Accept Responsibility

Accepting responsibility for your mistake is a crucial element in a professional apology. It demonstrates accountability and conveys your sincerity:

• “I take full responsibility for the confusion caused by my actions.”
• “I understand that my mistake has created extra work for you, and I sincerely apologize.”
• “I want to assure you that I will learn from this experience and strive to do better in the future.”

Crafting the Apology

Choose the right medium.

Selecting the appropriate medium to apologize is crucial. When deciding on the method of communication, consider the severity and impact of the mistake. For minor slip-ups or misunderstandings, a simple email or direct message may suffice. However, if your mistake caused significant harm or confusion, a face-to-face conversation or even a well-drafted formal letter might be more appropriate.

Be Clear and Concise

It’s important to present a clear and concise apology by taking responsibility for your actions and acknowledging the effects of your mistake. Avoid using vague phrases or shifting blame, and instead, openly admit your fault. Describe the mistake and its consequences without over-exaggerating or downplaying its significance.

For instance, if you missed a crucial deadline, do not make excuses for your actions. Instead, your apology should be straightforward: “I apologize for failing to meet the deadline for (…) project, and I understand how this has negatively impacted our team. To rectify the situation, I will work diligently to complete the project as soon as possible.”

Express Regret

Expressing genuine regret and empathy for the consequences of your mistake strengthens the sincerity of your apology. Channel your feelings of remorse and describe how the mistake has affected the people involved or the organization as a whole.

If, for example, you made a thoughtless comment to a coworker, express your regret by saying, “I am truly sorry for my careless remark earlier. I understand how it may have hurt your feelings and caused unnecessary tension. I want to assure you that it was not my intention, and I will be more mindful of my words in the future.”

Timing Your Apology

Just as important as the content of the apology is when you express it. Waiting too long can make the apology seem insincere, but apologizing too soon might not give you enough time to fully understand the situation and the impact of your mistake. Take the time you need to gather all the necessary information, consider the consequences, and develop a genuine, well-thought-out apology.

When considering the timing of your apology, keep in mind the following:

• Assess the impact : Gauge how your mistake has affected the other person or the team. If the situation is causing immediate harm, address it quickly. If the damage seems minor, you may have more time to reflect and devise a thoughtful response.
• Learn from the situation : As soon as you notice the mistake, take the initiative to learn from it. This might involve seeking advice, researching possible solutions, or examining why the mistake occurred. Being able to demonstrate that you’ve gained insight from the situation can strengthen your apology.
• Acknowledge the mistake : In some cases, it’s appropriate to provide an immediate acknowledgment of your error, even if you haven’t yet fully comprehended its impact. This can demonstrate accountability and willingness to take responsibility for your actions.

For example, if you accidentally send a confidential email to the wrong recipient, you should immediately apologize for the mistake and inform them that you will follow up with more information. Afterward, you can investigate the situation further and compose a more detailed and sincere apology for the harm your mistake caused.

Including a Plan of Action

When apologizing for a professional mistake, it’s important to include a clear plan of action that demonstrates your understanding of the issue and commitment to rectifying it. This adds credibility to your apology and reassures the affected parties that you’re taking the matter seriously. Here’s how to effectively outline a plan of action in your apology:

• Acknowledge Begin by acknowledging the specific mistake that occurred. Doing so shows that you understand the gravity of the situation and are taking responsibility for your actions. Example : “I understand that the incorrect data I provided in the presentation negatively impacted our clients’ perception of our project.”
• Explain steps List the steps you intend to take in order to remedy the situation. This demonstrates your commitment to resolving the issue and preventing it from happening again in the future. Example : “To rectify this, I will conduct a thorough review of all data sources, ensure accurate information is presented to the clients, and implement a data verification process to avoid future errors.”
• Set a timeframe Provide a realistic timeframe for when you will carry out these steps. By showing that you have a clear schedule in mind, you convey a sense of urgency and dedication to your actions. Example : “I will complete the review and corrections within the next week and present the updated information to our clients immediately after. The data verification process will be in place by the end of the month.”
• Offer support Lastly, show willingness to provide assistance where needed. This illustrates your genuine concern for the situation and your desire to make things right. Example : “If you require any additional support or information during this process, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.”

Offering Remediation

• Identify the issue and its impact : Acknowledge the specific mistake and its repercussions. This shows you understand the gravity of the situation. For example, tell your client, “I realize that the error in the financial report has led to budget miscalculations.”
• Propose a solution : Present a concrete plan to fix the problem and ensure it doesn’t happen again. Be proactive, rather than waiting for them to demand a solution. For instance, you could say, “To address this, I will revise the report and implement a new review process for future financial documentation.”
• Provide a timeline : Offer a clear timeline for your solution. This illustrates that you’re serious about resolving the problem promptly. You might tell them, “I will have the corrected report to you by the end of the day, and the new review process will be in place by next week.”
• Offer compensation : Depending on the severity of the mistake, consider offering compensation as a gesture of goodwill. This could be a discount on their next invoice or a free service. For example, “As a token of our apology, we’d like to offer a 10% discount on your next order with us.”
• Keep communication open : After the initial apology and remediation offer, continue to communicate with the affected party. Update them on the progress of your solution and check-in to ensure they’re satisfied with your efforts.

Here’s an example of a professional apology incorporating these steps:

Dear [Client], I realize that the error in the financial report has led to budget miscalculations. To address this, I will revise the report and implement a new review process for future financial documentation. I will have the corrected report to you by the end of the day, and the new review process will be in place by next week. As a token of our apology, we’d like to offer a 10% discount on your next order with us. I will keep you updated on our progress, and please feel free to contact me with any concerns.

Avoiding Common Apology Pitfalls

When apologizing professionally, it’s important to avoid some common pitfalls that can make your apology seem insincere or ineffective. Here are a few things to watch out for:

• Using qualifiers: Phrases like “I’m sorry if…” or “I apologize but…” can undermine your message. Instead, own your mistake and state why you’re sorry. For example: “I apologize for the confusion caused by the incorrect information in the report.”
• Making excuses: It’s tempting to explain the reasons behind the mistake, but doing so can sound defensive. Keep the focus on your remorse and the actions you’re taking to fix the issue. Compare: “I’m sorry, I was swamped with other tasks” with “I apologize for the delay and have prioritized the project to ensure it’s completed on time.”
• Shifting blame: Even if you genuinely feel that someone else contributed to the mistake, it’s crucial to take responsibility for your part in it. A collaborative approach is better, as in: “I apologize for the miscommunication. Next time, we’ll work together to make sure everyone is on the same page.”

Additionally, bear in mind these communication tips for a successful apology:

• Choose the right medium: Consider whether an email, phone call, or face-to-face meeting would be most appropriate based on the seriousness and nature of the mistake.
• Find the right timing: Ideally, apologize as soon as you realize the error. However, ensure you have all necessary information and have thought through your apology properly before reaching out.
• Be specific: Clearly describe the mistake and show that you understand its impact on others. Avoid uncertainty and vagueness.
• Offer a solution: Where possible, propose a way you can correct the mistake or make amends for the situation. This shows commitment and sincerity.
• Reflect and improve: Be willing to learn from the experience and take steps to prevent similar mistakes in the future.

Examples of Professional Apologies

When it comes to apologizing professionally, it’s important to recognize the mistake, take responsibility, and offer a solution. Here’s a list of examples that demonstrate how to apologize professionally in different situations.

• “I’m sorry for the miscommunication in yesterday’s email, I should have been more clear. Let’s set up a call to discuss this further.”
• “I apologize for the delay in sending you the report. I will prioritize it and ensure you receive it by tomorrow.”
• “I’m sorry for the confusion during the meeting. I will send out a summary of key points for clarification.”
• “I apologize for missing the deadline on the project, I will work extra hours to make up for it.”
• “I’m sorry for not getting back to you sooner, your email was accidentally marked as spam.”
• “My apologies for the incorrect invoice. I will correct the error and send you a revised copy.”
• “I’m sorry if my feedback seemed harsh. I value your input and will work on improving my communication.”
• “I apologize for not receiving the package on time. I will investigate with our shipping department and keep you updated.”
• “I’m sorry for any inconvenience caused by my absence. I had a family emergency and couldn’t make it to the meeting.”
• “I apologize for the late response. I was dealing with a personal matter, but I’m here to help now.”
• “I’m sorry that my presentation wasn’t well-received. I appreciate your feedback and will incorporate it into future presentations.”
• “I apologize for not following up on our discussion. Here’s an action plan for moving forward.”
• “I’m sorry for not acknowledging your idea during the brainstorming session, it had great potential.”
• “I apologize for any confusion caused by my previous email. Please let me know if you need further clarification.”
• “I’m sorry for not giving enough credit to your hard work on the project. I appreciate your efforts.”
• “I apologize for not including you in the decision-making process, your opinion is valuable to us.”
• “I’m sorry for the mix-up in scheduling. I will re-arrange our appointments to avoid further conflicts.”
• “I apologize for the oversight on the proposal. I will make the necessary revisions.”
• “I’m sorry that our new software isn’t meeting your expectations. Let’s set up a training session to address any concerns.”
• “I apologize for any inconvenience my mistake caused. I will do my best to fix it immediately.”
• “I’m sorry for not properly training our team on the new policies. I will schedule a refresher session as soon as possible.”
• “I apologize for the miscommunication between departments. I will work on improving our internal communication.”
• “I’m sorry for the error in the presentation. I will correct it and send an updated version.”
• “I apologize for any discomfort my comments may have caused. I will work on being more mindful in the future.”
• “I’m sorry for my part in the disagreement. Let’s schedule a time to discuss how we can resolve this issue.”
• “I apologize for not providing the information that you requested. I will gather the data and send it to you shortly.”
• “I’m sorry for my tardiness in our meeting. I know it’s important to respect your time.”
• “I apologize for the issues with our product. We are working on a solution, and I appreciate your patience.”
• “I’m sorry that the customer wasn’t satisfied with our service. I will personally handle their concerns and make necessary improvements.”
• “I apologize for my negative tone earlier. I was feeling frustrated, and it wasn’t helpful. Let’s focus on finding a solution.”

Frequently Asked Questions

What are effective ways to apologize for an error in the workplace.

An effective way to apologize for an error in the workplace is to be sincere and direct. Accept responsibility for your mistake and address how you plan to correct it. Offer solutions and show your commitment to making things right. For example:

“I realize I made a mistake with the project deadline, and I take full responsibility for it. I will work extra hours this week to make sure we are back on track, and I’ll double-check all deadlines in the future.”

Can you give examples of sincere apologies for mistakes in professional emails?

Here are two examples of sincere apologies in professional emails:

• “I apologize for the confusion caused by my previous email. I accidentally included incorrect information, and I understand this may have caused some disruptions. Please find the corrected information attached, and let me know if you have any questions.”
• “I’m sorry about the mistake in the report you received. I’ve corrected the error and attached the updated version for your review. I appreciate your understanding and will take steps to ensure this doesn’t happen again.”

How can I word an apology in a business letter when I’ve made a mistake?

When writing an apology in a business letter, be clear and concise. Start by acknowledging your mistake, and then explain the steps you’re taking to rectify the problem:

“I would like to formally apologize for the errors found in our recent invoice. We have reviewed our records and found the discrepancies. To resolve this issue, we have credited your account with the appropriate amount. Please find the updated invoice enclosed.”

What are some strategies for communicating a mistake and apologizing without using the word ‘sorry’?

Instead of using the word ‘sorry’, try acknowledging the error and focusing on how you plan to fix it. For example:

• “I made an error in the calculation, and I will promptly correct it. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.”
• “I appreciate your patience as we work to resolve the issue with the shipment. We’ll ensure everything is correctly delivered by tomorrow.”

In what manner can one offer a heartfelt apology for causing any inconvenience in a work setting?

To offer a heartfelt apology in a work setting, show empathy by acknowledging the impact your mistake had on others and express your regret. Then, indicate your plan to prevent similar problems in the future:

“I understand that my mistake created extra work for you, and I deeply regret any inconvenience. Please know that I’m taking steps to ensure that this won’t happen again, and I’ll be more diligent in the future.”

What is the appropriate structure for a professional apology when acknowledging a personal error?

An appropriate structure for a professional apology includes three main points:

• Acknowledge the mistake: Be clear and specific on what went wrong, and accept responsibility for the error.
• Offer a solution: Explain how you will rectify the situation and prevent it from happening again.
• Express gratitude: Thank the affected party for their patience and understanding.

For example:

“I recently became aware that I made a mistake in our client presentation. I take full responsibility for the oversight and have corrected the error. Moving forward, I will double-check all materials before submitting them. Thank you for your understanding and support.”

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Humans learn from mistakes — so why do we hide our failures?

Professor of Cognitive Psychology, UNSW Sydney

Disclosure statement

Ben Newell receives funding from the Australian Research Council

UNSW Sydney provides funding as a member of The Conversation AU.

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A few years ago I had the pleasure of listening to the highly-influential legal scholar Cass Sunstein speak in the flesh. Cass wrote the best-selling book Nudge , along with his long-time collaborator Richard Thaler.

Thaler subsequently won the Nobel Prize in Economics and Cass went to the White House to head up a team advising the Obama administration .

It was among the first of what came to be hundreds of government teams around the world using their insights into human behaviour to improve what governments did.

Cass was speaking in Canberra and I asked whether he could talk about nudges that hadn’t worked. His initial answer surprised me – he said none came to mind.

So what is nudging?

To backtrack, it’s important to understand what a nudge is. The concept is based on the idea that people often act “irrationally”.

By itself this isn’t a particularly useful insight. What is a useful is the insight that they behave irrationally in ways we can predict.

Here’s one. We are lazy, so when placed with a plethora of offers about what to buy or sign up to we often stick with what we’ve got, the “don’t need to think about it option”, even when there are better deals on the table.

Read more: The psychology of Christmas shopping: how marketers nudge you to buy

And we tend to value the present over the future – so while we know we shouldn’t eat junk food, we often prioritise short-term satisfaction over long-term health.

These insights into behavioural regularities allow us to tailor government programs to get better outcomes.

For example, in Britain 80% of people say they are willing to donate an organ when they die, but only 37% put their names on the register.

To bridge this gap the government is changing the system so that the default option is to be a donor.

Read more: An opt-out system isn't the solution to Australia's low rate of organ donation

People can still opt-out if they want to – but the simple switch is likely to save as many as 700 lives per year.

We like to behave like those around us, so here in Australia to help combat the rise of drug-resistant superbugs, the chief medical officer wrote to the highest prescribers of antibiotics pointing out they weren’t in line with their peers.

It cut the prescribing rate of the highest prescribers by 12% in six months.

Then why was Cass’ answer surprising?

I was surprised because nudging promotes rigorous trials, evidence and testing – so it’s hard to believe every proposal would be found to have worked.

In science, experiments frequently throw up unexpected results.

Only publishing the results of successful trials would lead to bulging cabinets of failures from which we would never learn.

Given that failure is one of our most effective teachers, it would be a huge missed opportunity.

And the false positives that would be published along with any genuine positives would inflate the belief that the intervention worked.

Any experiment involving an element of randomness (in the subjects selected or conditions in which it was conduced) will occasionally report a positive effect that wasn’t there.

This “ replication crisis ” has been recognised as big problem in psychology and economics, with many previously results being thrown into doubt .

Thankfully things are changing for the better. There are a range of initiatives encouraging the publication of both positive and negative results, along with a far greater awareness of these questionable research practices.

Read more: The replication crisis has engulfed economics

And they are embraced by the Australian government’s own Behavioural Economics Team, BETA , with whom I work.

To guard against the publishing of only results that fit a narrative, BETA pre-registers its analysis plan, which means it can’t decide to pick out only the results that fit a particular story once the trial is done.

BETA has also set up an external advisory panel of academics (on which I sit) to give independent advice on transparency, trial design and analysis.

It has had some very successful trials , but also some with surprising results.

When it set out to discover whether a fact sheet enabling households to compare electricity plans would encourage them to switch to better ones it discovered (at least in the experiment conducted) it did not .

When it set out to discover whether removing identifying information from public service job applications would increase the proportion of women and minorities shortlisted for interviews it discovered (at least in the experiment conducted) it did not .

These findings give us just as much useful information as the trials that were “successful”. They can help the government design better programs.

There’s a happy ending to this story

Back at the conference, after his initial answer Cass reflected further. He did recall some failures, and he talked about the lessons learned.

Since then, he has even published a paper, Nudges that Fail that provides insights every bit as good as those from nudges that succeed.

Feel free to check out BETA’s list , the good and the bad.

It’s important to embrace mistakes, and to make more than a few. It’s the only way to be sure we are really learning.

• Nudge theory
• Behavioural economics
• Publication bias
• Replication crisis

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How to Answer "Tell Me About a Time You Made A Mistake?" (With Sample Answers)

November 27, 2023 by Fang Mei

When asked in an interview about a time you made a mistake, it's an opportunity to demonstrate your self-awareness and ability to learn from your experiences. Rather than focusing on the mistake itself, the key is to highlight the steps you took to address it and what you learned from the process.

Admitting to a mistake in a professional setting can be daunting, but doing so can show that you're honest, accountable, and capable of growth. Remember, interviewers are looking for evidence that you can reflect on your actions and proactively work to improve your performance.

To help you prepare, consider crafting a response that shows you can acknowledge your mistakes, analyze the consequences, and implement the learned lessons to avoid repeating the same error.

Why Do Employers Ask About Your Mistakes?

When you're in an interview, and the question "Tell me about a time you made a mistake" comes up, it's natural to feel a little tense. However, employers are not looking to trip you up. They have specific reasons for asking this . Primarily, they want to gauge your self-awareness and ability to handle adversity .

• Employers value candidates who can recognize their own errors and learn from them . Your response gives insight into your introspection and willingness to grow.
• Addressing past mistakes shows employers you can take responsibility . It demonstrates your integrity and honesty in the workplace.
• Your answer also reflects on your problem-solving skills . It tells the employer about your approach to resolving issues and ensuring they don't reoccur.

By learning about your mistakes, employers can also assess your fit for their team culture . If you handle mistakes positively and constructively, it indicates that you can collaborate well with others and contribute to a healthy, productive work environment . Employers are keen on understanding how your learning experiences from these mistakes will apply to the challenges you might face in their organization.

How to Answer This Question?

When you're faced with the interview question, "Tell me about a time you made a mistake," your response should be structured and clear. Begin by choosing a real, work-related mistake that had a resolution. Here are the steps you can follow:

1. Describe the Situation: Briefly outline the context of the mistake. Make sure it's concise.

2. Own Your Mistake: Demonstrate accountability by acknowledging your error without blaming others.

3. Explain the Resolution: Discuss the actions you took to correct the mistake. Emphasize your problem-solving skills.

4. Reflect on Lessons Learned: Share what the experience taught you and how it contributed to your professional growth.

Sample Answer Structure:

• Situation: "I once sent an email campaign without the final approval from my supervisor..."
• Action: "...I immediately notified my supervisor, recalled the email, and sent a corrected version..."
• Result: "...The corrected campaign actually had a higher engagement rate."
• Learning: "This taught me to double-check before hitting send and improved my attention to detail."

Use this framework to craft a response that displays your ability to learn from errors and handle challenges professionally. Remember to stay calm and maintain a neutral tone to convey confidence and sincerity.

Sample Answers

When responding to questions about past mistakes, it's crucial to focus on what you learned and how you improved. Below are sample answers tailored to different scenarios that illustrate this approach effectively.

Sample Answer for a Missed Deadline

Scenario: You missed an important project deadline.

"I once missed a deadline for a project I was leading. Despite the setback, I immediately communicated with my team and client, reassessing our timeline and resources. I took responsibility for the oversight and put in place a more robust tracking system to prevent future issues. This experience taught me the value of proactive communication and project management strategies."

Sample Answer for a Team-Related Mistake

Scenario: There was a mistake due to a team mishap.

"In a past project, I overlooked a team member's strength, which led to a suboptimal role allocation. Once I realized the mistake , I called for a meeting to realign our responsibilities according to each member's expertise. The error was a valuable lesson in maximizing team efficacy and it strengthened our collaboration moving forward."

Sample Answer for Miscommunication Error

Scenario: A miscommunication error occurred with a client or colleague.

"I encountered a situation where my email communication was not clear, resulting in a misunderstanding with a client. Recognizing my communication error, I took immediate action to clarify the miscommunication and provided a detailed follow-up. This mistake underscored the importance of clear, concise information exchange, and since then, I ensure to double-check my messages and opt for a call or in-person meeting when necessary."

Mistakes to Avoid While Answering This Question

When you're asked to describe a situation where you made a mistake, there are several pitfalls to avoid to make a good impression:

• Being Negative : Do not focus too much on the mistake itself. Briefly state the mistake and shift the focus to solutions.
• Overgeneralization : Avoid vague or generic answers. Provide a specific example that had a meaningful impact.
• Playing the Blame Game : Never shift blame onto others for the mistake you're discussing. Accept personal responsibility and discuss your role in the resolution.
• Choosing an Irrelevant Example : Ensure the mistake is professionally relevant. Select a mistake that occurred in a professional setting.
• Skipping the Outcome : Don't forget to explain the positive results of your response to the mistake. Highlight the lessons learned and the positive changes made afterward.
• Not Practicing : Practice your answer to sound confident but not rehearsed. Prepare your answer ahead of time but deliver it naturally.

Remember, the question isn't a trap. It's an opportunity to showcase your professionalism and resilience . Your interview is as much about your skills as it is about your character. When preparing your answer, think of a situation that led to personal or professional improvement and articulate the lessons learned clearly. The interviewer is less interested in the mistake itself and more interested in your capacity for self-reflection, accountability, and growth. Your aim is to prove that you can learn and evolve from past experiences.

If you are searching for a remote job and need help finding where to look? DailyRemote is a remote job board with the latest jobs in various categories to help you. Join like-minded people in our LinkedIn and Facebook community.

Explore Other Interview Questions

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How to Address Past Mistakes in Your College Essay

Oct 29, 2021

College applicants often assume universities demand perfection. No bad grades or lapses in judgement, no extenuating life circumstances. But nobody’s perfect. And the good news is that you don’t have to be. In fact,  Victoria Turner Turco, founder of Turner Educational Advising , reminds her students that colleges value humility. They appreciate the student who has overcome challenges or grown from mistakes. Turner shows you how to address past mistakes in your college essay. But she also advises that there’s  an art to the what, when and how of disclosing an apparent smudge on a college application.  

Read on to discover how you can turn a blemish into a humanizing display of strength and good judgement.   In fact, Victoria Turner Turco will show that learning from our missteps can be the makings of the most compelling college essays. 

Table of Contents

Embarrassed of Something on Your Transcript?

Every student thinks he or she is the only one with a blemish. But the truth is, in my many years of working with students, about half have something they feel needs hiding or explanation.   

It could be a bad grade – or semester – or dropping several courses. There could be medical, mental health or family issues that affected them adversely.  Finally, there could be disciplinary – or even criminal – histories in a student’s past.  The good news is, that means you’re not alone. It also means admissions officers won’t be particularly shocked to discover you’ve had some challenges in life.    

From Bad Grades to Suspension: Which Mistakes are Worth Mentioning on Your Essay?

Disclose, disclose, disclose. That’s a drum that I beat constantly.  However, admissions reps are looking for good judgment, and the things you elect to disclose speak to that judgment.  In other words, if you’re going to go on and on about that one B – that doesn’t show good judgment.  It doesn’t matter if you’re a straight A student otherwise.  Leave it alone! You want to demonstrate that you’re more resilient than that.   

On the other hand, if mental health, illness or family circumstances substantially impacted your grades or participation in extracurricular activities, you want to address it.  Equally, if you don’t disclose an arrest, expulsion or disciplinary infraction, you’re playing Russian Roulette.  In my experience, you can explain most issues, but if an admissions rep thinks you’re hiding something, you’re done.   

Explain (but don’t Rationalize) those Dings on Your Permanent Record

In my experience, admission reps are understanding and open.  They’re very human and know people stumble from time to time.  But there’s an enormous difference between providing context and providing excuses, so how you address your past mistakes on your college essay is very important. 

In general, brevity is a virtue.  Small problems have short explanations.  But if you hand someone War and Peace , you magnify the issue in their mind.  Fight the tendency to overshare.  Be brief and factual.  Take ownership for your actions, avoid self-pity, and focus on how you’ve grown from your experience.    

Great College Essays Take Responsibility and Show Growth

In the case of a criminal record or other disciplinary issue, the student should take responsibility, talk about what he or she learned and why it will never happen again.    

If the student has struggled with mental health challenges, then emphasize new coping skills.  That might mean therapy, a new workout or meditation routine or changes to your daily schedule that reduce stress.  Again, avoid oversharing. Sadly, many students face mental health struggles and it’s okay to acknowledge that you’ve faced some dark times.    

Remember, admissions reps may be kind and understanding, but they are also in the business of enrollment management.  They need to be certain that a student will be a successful member of the community and remain at school for the long-term.    

Choose the Right Place on Your Application to Explain

In general, I advise students to offer a brief and straightforward paragraph in the additional information section of the Common or Coalition Application.  That’s back to the issue of brevity—don’t give the perceived weaknesses in your application too much oxygen.  But sometimes there’s something that’s just such a big deal that it’s the pink elephant in the room – then and only then does it deserve center stage as the main essay.  Examples might include an expulsion or criminal charges.    

The good news is I’ve seen students get into very good schools when they openly address their mistake and write thoughtfully about the lessons they’ve learned from that setback.   

Humility and Humanity Make Your Essay Shine

Admissions officers aren’t expecting that you’ve never suffered or never had a problem.  The question is: how have you responded to it? Humility and humanity are such refreshing characteristics.  Failures, disappointments and the unexpected are also opportunities for a student to reveal the character and maturity that will make them a compassionate and thriving member of any campus community.  While you can’t change the past, you can address those past mistakes on your college essay in a way that shows genuine growth. After all, learning from failure and growth is the stuff of the very best college essays. 

Need inspiration for your college essay? Stuck with writer’s block?  Check out our guide to essay writing .  Learn to choose an engaging topic, get organized with an effective outline, and actually answer the writing prompt.

Does your college essay have you nervous ? Discover the topics that impress and bore an admissions officer and learn more about just how important your college essay really is.

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5 Strategies for Learning From Your Mistakes

What to do when you wish you could get a “do-over.".

Posted September 1, 2021 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

• Why Education Is Important
• Find a Child Therapist
• According to experts, the difference between “good mistakes” and “bad mistakes” is how you respond to them.
• It helps to consider what might be fixable and what you probably cannot change.
• Strategies to learn from your mistakes include mindful awareness, self-compassion, courageous self-exploration, and seeking greater balance.

Did you take the wrong path? Did you say the wrong words? Did you get stuck in old stories going on in your head that led you astray? Do wish you could call a “do over”?

How do you experience mistakes and missteps you’ve made? Most of us struggle with these questions and perhaps you do too.

Of course, many situations do not allow a “do-over.” As fully human beings, we typically learn to live with the “what if’s,” wondering how things might be different if we had made another choice. We seek ways to adjust to the losses and emotions that come with the mistakes.

Fill in the blank for your own regrets: “I wish I hadn’t _________________.”

Gentle self-inquiry can offer openings to explore how you experience this “what if” discomfort and how you might enable your past missteps to illuminate your life in ways that light your way forward, rather than staying stuck in the dark hallways of “what if’s.”

Psychologists Shelley Carson and Ellen Langer (2006) say there are “good mistakes” and “bad mistakes.” What makes the difference is how we respond to them. Good mistakes teach us valuable lessons. Bad mistakes are the ones we hide from in shame and regret.

Do you tend to make “good mistakes” or “bad mistakes”?

Here are a few approaches that may inspire greater awareness, learning, and inner liberation—a way forward toward inner shifts or outward change.

1. Learn to sit quietly with life’s joys, challenges, and adversities rather than simply seeking to escape.

Mindfulness can help you learn to be present in this very moment (Goleman & Davidson, 2017; Kabat-Zinn, 2012). Applying mindfulness to a challenging situation can help you nurture self-awareness. While you cannot change the past, you do have choices for your next steps going forward.

A mindful approach—and mindfulness practice—can help you notice your thoughts and feelings and meet them as they arrive, offering spaciousness and compassion for “what is” and in some cases exploring alternative options for going forward. Pausing in the present moment and noticing your breathing or other focus point may help you experience greater awareness and clarity to be present to what is.

2. Inspire inner healing and outer change with self-compassion.

Research shows that self-compassion can help us improve our lives and be with ourselves in more accepting ways (Neff, 2021). According to psychologist Kristen Neff, Ph.D., tender self-compassion can empower you to accept yourself, a practice that can blossom into what she calls a caring force. Combining strength with love, a caring force can enable you to expand self-compassion toward compassion to motivate compassionate change in yourself and beyond yourself. She calls this fierce self-compassion (2021).

How can you offer yourself compassion as you contemplate where you’ve fallen short?

• How can you offer yourself the space to consider the situation, and how you might create room for learning, growth, and change?

3. Courageous self-exploration.

Consider guiding questions, such as:

• What can I learn from this experience?
• If I could walk this path again, what would I do differently? How would I be different?
• What do I need to learn or study more about to empower myself to make different choices?
• What advice might I offer to someone else in a similar situation?
• What thoughts, habits, or behaviors might I choose to examine or shift, so I might respond differently next time?

4. What am I stuck with and what might I change?

No doubt, some situations are fixable and some are not. Sometimes it’s not easy or even possible to heal a relationship or situation that has been ruptured. Is this a situation that you might be able to shift or change? Be honest with yourself about the damage that’s been done. Is this a simple mistake or comment or a larger pattern of missteps and thoughtlessness?

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”―Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

If you decide to approach the person or situation to attempt healing or repair, remember the importance of listening. Not just hearing, rather listening with the genuine intent to understand. After careful listening, you might share with the person what you heard, what you’re learning, and how you will work to get it right going forward.

In his well-known “Last Lecture” (2007), Carnegie Mellon University professor Randy Pausch, Ph.D., offered this advice. “Proper apologies have three parts: 1) What I did was wrong. 2) I feel badly that I hurt you. 3) How do I make this better?”

5. Steady yourself with greater balance through prayer or inspiring text.

The Serenity Prayer is arguably one of the most well-known texts in the U.S. According to the Alcoholics Anonymous website, it was found in the New York Herald Tribune in 1941. Though attributed to theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, it may have been created by the Greek philosopher Aristotle or Dutch philosopher Baruch Spinoza (A.A, 2009).

"Grant me the serenity to accept that which I cannot change,

Courage to change what I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.” —Reinhold Niebuhr

This post is for educational purposes and should not substitute for psychotherapy with a qualified professional.

Alcoholics Anonymous Website–Author Unknown. (2009). Origin of the serenity prayer: A historical paper. https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/smf-129_en.pdf

Carson, S. H., & Langer, E. J. (2006). Mindfulness and self-acceptance. Journal of Rational Emotive & Cognitive Behavior Therapy, 24 (1), 29-43.

Goleman D. & Davidson, R.J. (2017). Altered traits: Science reveals how meditation changes your mind, brain, and body . New York, NY: Avery.

Kabat-Zinn , J.( 2012). Mindfulness for beginners: Reclaiming the present moment - and your life. Boulder, CO: Sounds True.

Neff, K. (2021). Fierce self-compassion: How women can harness kindness to speak up, claim their power, and thrive . New York, NY: Harper Wave.

Pausch, R. (2007). Randy Pausch’s last lecture: Really achieving your childhood dreams. Carnegie Mellon University. https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/Randy/pauschlastlecturetranscript.pdf

Ilene Berns-Zare, PsyD, is a life and leadership coach. She writes about navigating personal and professional life with resilience, meaning, mindfulness, and well-being.

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How to deal with regret

In a world of choices, it’s impossible to avoid regret. unpleasant as it is, you can make it bearable, even inspirational.

by Jelena Kecmanovic   + BIO

is a clinical psychologist and the founding director of the Arlington/DC Behavior Therapy Institute in the Washington, DC area. She also teaches at Georgetown University and writes about anxiety, resilience, and the human condition.

Edited by Matt Huston

Listen to this Guide.

Need to know

If only I’d had the courage to say I loved him before he married someone else.

I should have gone to law school like I had planned to. What possibilities might have opened up for me?

I could’ve avoided a painful surgery if I had only been a little more careful.

As a practising psychologist, I hear about instances of regret such as these all the time. Regret is a very common negative emotional experience, driven by thoughts of what might have happened if one had behaved differently in the past. Who among us has not bemoaned what could have been? One study of regret found that over the course of about a week, participants reported experiencing regret about nearly a third of decisions they recalled making during that time.

A typical feature of regret is self-blame over making the ‘wrong’ choice, whether it was doing something that you now believe you shouldn’t have done, or not doing something that you now think you should have. Some regrets are mild and fleeting and, as such, do not cause much heartache. But it’s possible to be haunted by regret – consumed by self-reproach, sadness, and a sense of loss over what you could have had. If you have been grappling with this stronger form of regret, this Guide will offer you strategies for coping with it, and for transforming it into a positive force in your life.

Regret is hard to avoid

Modern times provide fertile ground for regret. The explosion of choice, which has been particularly pronounced in the West, colours every decision, including the selection of consumer goods, places to live, when and whom to marry, what profession to pursue, and how we identify ourselves. As the psychologist Barry Schwartz has explained , an initial increase of choice often leads to greater satisfaction, but the effect can reverse as the number of options expands. People who try to fail-safe their choices by thoroughly considering all the alternatives before making a decision may, paradoxically, experience more regret afterwards.

When I was growing up in the former Yugoslavia, we had only a small number of universities from which to choose. Students generally stayed close to home, and we didn’t spend much time considering whether we had made the best decision. But when I talk to students in the United States, I hear how hard it is to shake off doubts about whether they made the right choice from among almost 4,000 colleges and universities. Regret and dissatisfaction can fester when choice exponentially increases.

Furthermore, new technologies have helped to erase the boundaries between private and public, increased the speed of almost everything, and caused an information overload in recent decades. All of these processes are bound to lead to more regret, which we witness whenever someone apologises over a Tweet or frets about a job application email that goes out with a typo.

At the same time, there is evidence that perfectionism has been increasing for a while in some parts of the world. Research indicates that, since the late 1980s in the US, Canada and the United Kingdom, people have become less forgiving of their own and others’ mistakes, while also increasingly believing that others will judge them harshly for their lack of perfection. Regret is likely to balloon in such an environment.

Regret can be painful – but it can also present an opportunity

Interpersonal regrets, such as those involving romantic relationships and family, are especially common forms. And, while you will likely feel bad very quickly after doing something you regret, such as blurting out a secret, regrets about the things you didn’t do – including the chances you haven’t taken – may be the ones that linger the longest. These inactions are often regretted more intensely as people grow older and new opportunities dwindle.

People who are experiencing depression tend to see things through a negative lens, so it is no surprise that they seem to feel more regret than others. Regret has also been linked to anxiety, self-criticism, shame, and sleep problems. It often involves rumination and obsessive thinking. If you are spinning in circles, going over what you did wrong again and again, and not sharing it with anyone, you’re likely to get mired in the pernicious quicksand of regret.

When harnessed skilfully, however, regret can increase the likelihood of psychological growth. Regret can prompt you to reflect on your behaviour, to learn which sorts of behaviour work well and which don’t, and thus to improve yourself in the long run. The emotional pang of regret can help you to understand that you ought to make a change – and then push you to follow through.

One patient of mine came to regret moving away from his family each time he got a better job opportunity. His professional success reinforced his choices for years and he justified his path by how well he had done, which allowed him to handsomely support his kids and his parents. But, starting with the day his mother had a stroke, he was overcome with guilt and self-reproach: ‘Neither I nor my children can ever get those years back, time that we could have spent together.’ Taking his profound regret as a sign of how much he cared about his family, and working through it skilfully, he was able to make a change and align his life with what he valued. The advice that follows can help you move in a similar direction.

Let yourself feel regret, without avoiding or wallowing in it

When one avoids, denies or minimises negative emotional experiences, they tend to come back with a vengeance. So, the first task is to counter the very human tendency to run away from the experience of regret.

Consider all the ways you might be using technology, entertainment, food, drink, drugs or other diversions to distract from the pain or discomfort of regret. Then, if a moment comes when you catch yourself turning to any of these as an escape from your feelings, do something different: pause, and open up to all the physical sensations in your body and everything that is going on in your mind.

Try to observe yourself without judgment. Silently describe to yourself how regret feels for you in the moment. Emotions and thoughts associated with regret can serve as important sources of information about what you want to stand for in this world and how a specific behaviour might have violated that. The only way you can learn from regret is to fully experience it first.

A patient of mine in her 50s repeatedly suppressed regret about not having pursued medical school when she was younger. (Some details of her story, and of other patient stories in this Guide, have been altered to preserve anonymity.) Whenever she noticed the regretful thoughts bubbling up, she would occupy herself with chores or laser-focus on her children’s activities. She was afraid to look at her life with brutal honesty. The avoidance made regret show up with a higher frequency, until she felt completely drained and defeated, and sought help.

One of the first things we did was have her relate to her waves of regret in a different way – observing with curiosity what was happening in her mind and body, and describing it as if she were describing something outside herself. ‘I felt my chest tighten and nausea rising to my throat as I remembered the day I dropped organic chemistry,’ she recounted in a session. She described feeling a hollow mixture of guilt, self-disgust and shame. Gradually allowing herself to experience the raw emotions of regret gave her the motivation to re-evaluate her life.

In trying to accept the feelings of regret, however, it’s important not to get derailed by circular overthinking. You might be inclined to ruminate and obsess, thinking thoughts such as: Why did I do that? How stupid/short-sighted/selfish that was of me ; If only I could go back in time and make it right ; I can’t believe I failed to try that . Although it’s easy to confuse it with problem-solving, this kind of recurrent thinking is counterproductive. It doesn’t help you acknowledge the reality of the situation and act to improve it, nor is it likely to make you feel better in the long term.

If you find yourself spinning in circles in this way, try to get out of your head and notice how your feelings are showing up in your body. Some powerful techniques from dialectical behaviour therapy ( DBT ) could be helpful here:

• Exposing yourself to strong sensations such as sour lemon, frigid water, or loud music
• Engaging in a short bout of intense exercise
• Helping someone – for example, guiding your niece as she sheds bike training wheels, or assisting your parent in fixing a broken shelf

After you free yourself from the rumination vortex, it can be helpful to review the regretted behaviour in a more deliberate way, by visualising and verbalising the specific steps in which it unfolded.

The patient of mine whose mother had a stroke had been obsessing about all the ways he might have prevented it had he lived nearby. A barrage of ‘what ifs’ poisoned his days and kept him up at night. If he had been more involved in his ageing parents’ lives, he thought, he could have persuaded them to eat better and exercise, which would have lowered their cardiovascular risk. Or perhaps he could have found them better doctors. And on and on. Our work focused on my patient vividly recalling ​​specific times when his mother would ask him over the phone when he was coming to visit or if he would ever move back. As he related to me his answer – ‘We’ll see, I’m very busy nowadays’ – he broke down in loud sobs. Crucially, he had shifted from the obsessive spinning in the realm of abstract ‘what ifs’ to the actual, painful experience of regret.

If your behaviour caused harm, try to make amends

In many instances of regret, it becomes clear that one has acted in a way that hurt someone else. Approaching rather than avoiding regret can enable you to recognise any harm you might have caused, and to make amends if possible.

If you determine that the behaviour you now regret did cause harm, think about specific actions you can take to make things right. Then, apologise to the co-worker you offended; take steps to repair the friendship that has suffered because of your neglect; express your remorse to the partner you alienated with your angry outburst. It is important to recognise that some people will not forgive you, and that it is still worth asking for forgiveness – because you can control only your actions. You will likely be able to sleep better at night knowing that you did your part.

If you are having a hard time making repairs, you can try the ‘mental contrasting’ technique, originally developed by the psychologist Gabriele Oettingen. Vividly imagine how things might have turned out if you had behaved differently. For example: If I had proposed to my partner when she gave me a clear indication that she could not wait forever to get married and have kids, she might still be in my life . Visualise how the alternative scenario would look. Then think about what stands in the way of carrying out the wished-for scenario now – in this example, that might be having to go back to the former partner, take responsibility and apologise for making a mistake, explain how you feel, and ask if your partner would take you back. If these obstacles seem surmountable, strategise about how to tackle them. And, if you come to the conclusion that they are not, you can disengage from that goal and accept that you are now on a different path.

Learn to forgive yourself

For many of us, the go-to response to having done something that we later regret is to beat ourselves up. The self-criticism is often harsh and relentless. This way of treating yourself will, of course, not make you feel more positive emotions or less regret. But what I often hear from my patients is some version of: ‘Yes, this is harsh, but I deserve it. It’s the only way I’ll learn from my mistakes and do better in the future.’ This is an incorrect, if common, assumption. A self-compassionate stance is more likely to make you feel better and encourage self-improvement.

So, how do you become more self-forgiving? Intentionally and gradually. Here are some techniques that can help you along.

Name the self-critic. Pay attention to when you slip into self-reproach and how it sounds when you do. Giving your inner critical voice a name, maybe accompanied with an image, can help you to realise that you are going down that unproductive path, and catch yourself before you are in too deep. For example, you might think: Oh, here is ____ again, judging me and belittling me. Is she actually helping me to become a better person right now?

Channel a caring person from your childhood. If you are someone who likes and is good at visualisation, you should try imagining an empathic, accepting person from your childhood. Maybe it was a grandma who always had your back and showed unconditional love even after your transgressions. Perhaps she would say: ‘What you did was wrong, and here are the consequences of your actions. And I still love you as much as I did yesterday or any other day!’ Try to channel this person when you are feeling regret and to treat yourself as they would treat you. For example, if you are beating yourself up about a mistake at work, you might embrace yourself and engage in self-soothing talk, reminiscent of how your caring relative would speak to you.

Let go of all-or-nothing thinking. You might find that thinking traps are standing in the way of self-acceptance and self-forgiveness. For example, say you conclude that failing to visit your aunt before she died means that you are a bad family member and, by extension, a bad person, and that you will always be this way. If you are prone to generalising in this way from a specific, regretted behaviour to your sense of yourself as a person, ask yourself the following questions. Have you always been ‘bad’ in the way your regret is suggesting you are (eg, a bad nephew)? Does your regretted behaviour erase all of your previous behaviours (eg, years of kindness and compassion toward your aunt)? Can you learn and grow from this experience (eg, by becoming more mindful of mortality and the unpredictability of illnesses)? The answers to these questions will help you step back a little and put things into perspective: you are much, much more than any given action – and you are constantly changing.

Put your actions in context. Keep in mind that many internal and external factors likely affected your decision to act in a later-regretted way. It is easy to fall prey to focalism – a term used to describe the human tendency to focus only on one cause at the exclusion of all others. Even if you made a mistake that is worth owning up to, what happened might not have been completely your fault. Or you might have been depressed, ill, or under a lot of stress. Many of my discussions with patients during the COVID-19 pandemic centred on the imperfect decisions they made while afraid, anxious, grieving or angry.

Reframe your experience of regret

Once you have started to accept your feelings of regret, made amends (if pertinent), and soothed yourself, you are ready to explore some helpful reframing of the position in which you find yourself now. Here are some strategies to assist you in doing that.

• Ask yourself: Given what I’ve done and regretted, what can I still do that is consistent with who I want to be as a person? Jot down as many positive answers as you can think of. Then make a plan to enact at least some of them. For one patient of mine, who felt regret about the ways she thought she might have failed her deceased mother, honouring her mother’s memory by regularly visiting the cemetery and writing a biography of her mother’s life helped to focus her mind in a meaningful way.
• Make sure you are not overestimating the benefits of not-chosen paths. Sometimes we idealise what could have been, and imagine that everything would have worked out for the best if we had just made one different choice. But you cannot really know how an alternative decision would have affected subsequent happenings – some of which you might not have liked. For example, if you had accepted an enticing job away from your family, your career might have flourished more quickly, but you likely would have missed out on family closeness.
• Attempt to find silver linings in your current situation. Is there anything that is better because you made the choice you now regret? You might be tempted to dismiss this question as saccharine. But when I work with my patients on regrets, staying with a curious and open-minded enquiry usually allows them to recognise positives related to their decision, however small. And sometimes they even develop a deep gratitude for where they are now.
• Put what you are regretting into perspective. Regret often loses its power over time. How big a deal is the source of your regret going to be a month from now? A year? Five years? Another way to get a bit of distance from regret that is paralysing you is to imagine looking down at your fretting self from an ascending aeroplane. You can notice how you and your regrets become smaller and smaller as the view expands to include more of the world around you. The idea is to appreciate the cosmic insignificance of our troubles.
• Recognise that others are more concerned about their own problems than yours. In fact, research suggests that other people often judge us less harshly than we judge ourselves, even when we make mistakes. I had a patient who was racked with regret over selling his business at an inopportune time, frequently focusing on how his move was ‘ridiculed’ in his professional circles. When he finally sat down for lunch with one of his former colleagues, he was shocked to discover that the others barely remembered what had happened.

Write about and share your regret

When we feel regret, the natural tendency is to hide, physically or psychologically. Unlike negative emotions that stem from bad luck or untoward actions by other people (which we love to share), emotions such as guilt, humiliation or shame – all of which commonly coincide with regret – are often kept secret. But opening up and sharing your regret can lessen its impact and, as a bonus, may bring you closer to other people.

How can you find the courage to be vulnerable and express your regret? You can first try writing about it, just for yourself. Start by writing continuously for 10-20 minutes and try to do this once a day over three days, expressing as much as possible about how you feel. Writing for 20 minutes for at least three consecutive days about something upsetting has been found to offer a slew of emotional benefits.

Then you might consider sharing a part of your writing with a partner, friend or relative whom you know to be accepting, nonjudgmental and supportive. Next you could experiment with talking about your regret with them. Research shows that putting feelings into words can help people to make sense of their emotions and feel better. Opening up about your regret can also provide an opportunity to be soothed by a compassionate loved one. You might be surprised to find that your sharing is well-received and even leads to reciprocal disclosures. Feeling better, and potentially even experiencing a strengthening of your relationship, will give you confidence and help you resolve to talk more often and more in depth about your regrets.

One caveat is that you should avoid falling prey to ‘co-rumination’, which research indicates is associated with depression and anxiety. Co-rumination is when you have a conversation with another person that focuses exclusively on the negatives, which can include dwelling on why you did what you did and how bad the consequences are or could be. I often invite my patients to pay attention to the effects of this kind of discussion: ‘How did you feel after your conversation with X?’ If you find yourself slipping into an unhealthy conversational dynamic with someone, pause and use the other strategies in this article before you return to talking about your regret.

Use regret to clarify what you value

Notice what you tend to regret the most. The content of your regrets can elucidate what matters most to you and who you want to be as a person, or more specifically as a friend, romantic partner, parent, child, professional, and so on. Maybe you admonish yourself for treating your employee too harshly, or feel guilt over not spending enough quality time with your children. So, what is important to you is to be a compassionate and supportive boss, or a hands-on and available parent. Or, perhaps you regret not going to medical school when you were younger, or failing to travel the world when you had a chance. You might thus value helping people, learning and pushing yourself to achieve new things, or adventure and cultural diversity.

I find that, in a Western culture obsessed with goals, first clarifying what you value is invaluable because it gives you a direction for orienting your life. Once you have a sense of a path or paths suggested by your values, it is not hard to pick short-term and long-term goals that serve as signposts along those paths. And then you can commit to engaging in behaviours that help you accomplish those goals.

Some of the goals that align with what you value could involve directly rectifying what you regret – for example, going to medical school in your mid-30s , or rearranging your work schedule to see your kids more. Even when it seems that it is too late to do something you should have done earlier in life, it might not be. (For inspiration, I share the series ‘It’s Never Too Late’, in The New York Times , with my patients.)

But sometimes the metaphorical ship has sailed, and you cannot, for instance, travel around the planet because of age-related illness. In those situations, it may be best to disengage from the specific goals whose fulfilment is impossible, and instead pursue alternative goals in the service of the same values. For example, for the person who needs to bid adieu to traversing the globe: watching travel and nature documentaries, reading travelogues, and exploring your own town as if you were a tourist could offer meaningful replacements. Finding ways to act in accordance with what’s important to you, whatever your current circumstances, can help you to both diminish the burden of regret and harness its power.

Key points – How to deal with regret

• Regret is hard to avoid. It’s a common negative emotional experience – perhaps more so now than ever, given how fast-paced life can be and how many options people have to choose from.
• Regret can be painful – but it can also present an opportunity. While endlessly repeating ‘what ifs’ is unhelpful, deliberate reflection on regret can help inform your future behaviour.
• Let yourself feel regret, without avoiding or wallowing in it. When regret surfaces, observe how you feel in the moment, without judgment, and allow yourself to fully experience it.
• If your behaviour caused harm, try to make amends. Taking steps to apologise and make up for any negative impacts on others is worthwhile, whether you receive forgiveness or not.
• Learn to forgive yourself. Take a step away from your harsh inner critic and remember that one regretted act or choice needn’t define who you are.
• Reframe your experience of regret. Consider ways you might be exaggerating the goodness of the path not taken or the inferiority of the path you’re on.
• Write about and share your regret. You can start by describing the experience of regret for yourself, and then discuss it with someone you trust.
• Use regret to clarify what you value. The focus of your regret can tell you what matters most to you – and suggest ways to live in accordance with it in the future.

I hope it is clear by now that the French singer Édith Piaf’s proclamation ‘ Je ne regrette rien ’ and Frank Sinatra’s ‘Regrets, I’ve had a few / But then again, too few to mention’ are completely unrealistic. Being human means that we will regret many things in life. Our fallibility, coupled with the capacity for regret and rebirth, are the essence of our humanity. That said, there are ways to reduce future regret by choosing wisely and acting bravely.

Commit to acting consistently with your values whenever possible. Get in the habit of asking yourself: Is what I am about to do aligned with what I want my life to be about? Does it bring me closer to having a sense of meaning and purpose in life? Make choices that are consistent with what you want to stand for during your short time on Earth, what you want to be remembered for. Evoke ‘anticipatory regret’ by imagining whether you will later regret doing something that you are considering – or whether you will regret not doing something. There is evidence that this can lead to making healthier choices and persisting with goals.

Use technology mindfully and intentionally. Ask yourself a brief ‘Why?’ when you are about to open a social media app, check email, or send a text. My patients often start a session by recounting how, for example, going down the Facebook rabbit hole led to regrettable stalking of an old flame, or how posting a rant on Twitter now haunts them. And an ill-advised text message has damaged many a relationship. At the very least, most of us have regretted time spent on screens that could have been used more productively or pleasantly. So, don’t just mindlessly and habitually reach for a phone or other device when you are bored, tired, unsettled, sad or overwhelmed. Bringing more conscious awareness to the use of technology is bound to help you reduce future regret.

Seize the day. In the 17th century , René Descartes observed that those who act in a more decisive and resolute manner tend to experience less regret later on. At the end of the day, you will likely regret more what you did not at least try than what you did try that didn’t work out. So, do not feel that you must always wait for the ‘right’ moment, for the most opportune circumstances, or for inspiration. Inspiration often emerges from engaging in a pursuit. What is a small step you can take now that will bring you closer to the person you want to be?

I often ask my patients to imagine their 80th birthday , or being on their deathbed, and to ask themselves how they would want to have lived up to that point. Meditating on our finitude (Stoics called this ‘memento mori’) can light a fire under us, giving us the courage to act now – and to be true to ourselves.

Links & books

For an existential approach to regret with a large dose of irreverence, the author Mark Manson, of the The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (2016) fame , has a blog entry on ‘How to Let Go of Your Regrets’.

In the episode ‘Regrets, I Have a Few…’ for his radio series Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam interviews Amy Summerville, one of the major contemporary regret researchers, who provides a fascinating view into academic work in this area. Summerville discusses how we can get stuck in ruminative, unproductive regret, and what the alternatives are.

The psychologist Barry Schwartz’s TED Talk ‘The Paradox of Choice’ clarifies why people struggle more with regret as a result of ever-expanding choice, and gives tips for choosing better.

In Bronnie Ware’s BBC interview about her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (2011; 2nd ed , 2019), she describes what her work with people close to death showed her about common regrets – such as being driven by ego, fear, or others’ views instead of doing what was meaningful or purposeful.

The bestselling author Daniel H Pink’s recent book The Power of Regret (2022) includes many quotes and tabulated results based on his web survey of people’s regrets. It also offers practical strategies for turning regret into a positive force.

The journalist Oliver Burkeman’s wise and engaging book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals (2021) reminds us that we have a limited amount of time on this planet, so we’d better pick out what matters and get cracking. And that’s the best way to avoid regret.

One of the most comprehensive books on regret, If Only: How to Turn Regret Into Opportunity (2005) by Neal Roese, summarises most of the research on regret up to the year it was published, and presents it in a digestible format.

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by Charlotte Hastings

How to Answer “Tell Me About a Time You Made a Mistake” in an Interview

From planning and rehearsing your answers to common interview questions to changing your outfit five times to taking such a big buffer to account for traffic that you arrived an hour early and killed time at the coffee shop down the block, all your energy is going into making your potential employer think you’re the perfect professional. You’ve never gotten lettuce stuck in your teeth or forgotten to attach the report to an email. Would someone who makes mistakes have printed out three hard copies of their resume and placed them in such a nice leather portfolio?

So why is the interviewer trying to throw you off your groove by asking you something like, “Tell me about a time you made a mistake”?

Why do interviewers ask “Tell me about a time you made a mistake”?

Let’s get this out of the way up front. Perfection is impossible. Your interviewer knows that, so the fact that you’ve made a mistake in the past isn’t going to knock you out of consideration for this job. Rather, interviewers “want you to take responsibility for your mistake and talk about your key learnings, ensure you have a good attitude,” and demonstrate a commitment to improvement, says Muse career coach Jennifer Smith , founder of Flourish Careers .

It’s easy to look good when you’re talking about your achievements, but your interviewer wants to know how you’ll react when things don’t go as planned. Your response can teach them:

• How you handle challenges
• How self-aware you are
• How well you acknowledge and admit your errors
• How you learn from mistakes and mitigate them going forward

How do you answer “Tell me about a time you made a mistake”?

When you put it all together, your answer should roughly follow the STAR method —an interview answer structure for behavioral questions like this one that includes laying out the S ituation, T ask, A ction, and R esult of a past experience—but with some minor modifications to ensure you’re fully answering this specific question. Here’s how to make sure your interviewer comes away knowing you can own up to your mistakes and learn from them.

1. Choose the right mistake to talk about.

“I recommend talking about minor mistakes,” Smith says. While you may want to come prepared with a story from earlier in your work experience, Muse career coach Barb Girson , CEO of Beyond Sales Tactics , says that as employers are putting an increasing emphasis on emotional intelligence and humanizing the workplace, choosing to talk about a more recent mistake will also be just fine.

And at least as important as the story itself is how you reacted to it. “Select a mistake that reflects your ability to own your errors, take in feedback , create a plan for improvement, problem-solve , and share lessons learned,” Girson says.

Here are some kinds of mistakes you might talk about:

• Miscommunications
• Misunderstandings
• Lack of attention to detail
• Situations where you were reactive instead of proactive
• Errors on work products you submitted
• Missed deadlines
• Productivity issues
• Conflicts, disagreements, or coordination issues when working with others
• Fumbled presentations
• Knowledge or skill gaps

Meanwhile, you should avoid talking about mistakes that:

• Can be seen as ongoing character flaws (e.g.,“I’m always late”)
• Involve integral skills for the job you’re applying to (e.g., a fundamental accounting error if you’re applying for a financial analyst job)
• Are legal, ethical, or otherwise controversial issues (let’s be real, if your “mistake” was taking a swing at a coworker or pocketing some inventory, you’re not getting the job)
• Are framed to be someone else’s fault (e.g., “I made an error in judgment by trusting my boss’s strategy”)
• Aren’t really mistakes (No, “caring too much” and “working too hard” don’t count.)

And of course, you should also avoid saying you’ve never made a mistake or can’t recall any.

2. Clearly lay out the situation.

Before you get to the mistake itself, give your interviewer all the context they’ll need to understand what your mistake was and why it was in fact a mistake. But don’t feel the need to add in any extra details. Just briefly lay out what the overall goal was for your project, team, or company, and talk about what your individual tasks and responsibilities were.

For example, Smith suggests you say something like:

“I was responsible for coordinating the logistics for a live virtual presentation for 100 of our summer interns across the country. Our senior vice president of sales was joining us to talk about their career path and share advice with our interns.”

3. Tell your interviewer what mistake you made.

Be direct about your mistake and what led up to it. Don’t get defensive, blame anyone else, or use passive language—say, “I wrote down the wrong time,” not, “The wrong time got written down.”

Continuing with Smith’s example:

“We ended up having a last-minute time change for this event due to business needs; so I had to quickly update all the logistics and I forgot to update the calendar invite for the SVP.”

4. Explain how you addressed the mistake in the moment.

Your interviewer might phrase this question as, “Tell me about a time you made a mistake and what you did to correct it,” or they might just say, “Tell me about a time you made a mistake.” Either way, they absolutely want to know what you did once you realized you’d messed up and how the situation turned out. Everyone slips up, but not everyone owns up to it immediately or takes steps to fix it.

For example:

“As we were preparing to go live, our speaker wasn’t there. The second I realized this I contacted their admin, we located them quickly, and they were able to join just a few minutes late. As a result, the event went on with just a few minutes of delay in start time.”

5. Talk about what you learned and how you’ve avoided making the same mistake again.

“It is critical to include what you learned and what you will do to prevent the same mistake from happening in the future,” Girson says. Remember, your interviewer will be thinking of you as a future colleague when listening to your answer. “They will appreciate it if you do have the ability to make course corrections and that you are not a repeat mistake offender.”

So say something like:

“This taught me that I have to be better prepared for last-minute changes. I created a checklist for all of the major components of events I was coordinating going forward—including everywhere various pieces of information had been communicated or recorded—so the next time something similar happened, I had something that I was able to refer to easily to make sure I had everything covered and wouldn’t miss a beat.”

“Tell me about a time you made a mistake” example answers

Need more inspiration? Check out these example answers.

An entry level candidate might draw on their experiences in school and say something like:

“For my neurobiology class, our final lab reports had to be written individually, but based on experiments run by each member of our lab group. We quickly divided up who was doing which experiment and decided we’d all have our experiments done by April 15, so we’d all have time to write. I didn’t thoroughly look at my section until I was literally walking into the lab and only then realized that I needed results from other group members before I could start. I quickly reached out to my group to let them know what I’d done wrong, apologize, and to see if they had their results yet.

One person didn’t and didn’t have time in their schedule to do their experiment until April 14. Luckily, we were able to switch sections, and I was able to complete their original part and compile all the results they needed so that they could complete my original part. Since then, I’ve always made sure to lay out all of the steps and requirements for each step of a project before starting and be super clear on what I’m responsible for and how it fits into the larger picture.”

Someone talking about a time they made an incorrect assumption could answer:

“At my last job, we always called the project managers ‘PMs.’ When I first started my current job, I was tasked with sending ‘the PMs’ some budget numbers by Friday so they’d have them for a meeting on Monday midday. I was still very new and didn’t quite know what the numbers were for, but I didn’t want to seem clueless by asking too many questions. So I sent the numbers to the project managers. On Monday morning, I walked in to see someone at my boss’s desk asking where the budget numbers were—and that person was a *product* manager. My immediate instinct was to run and hide—or to at least only tell my boss what had happened once this person had left—but instead I politely introduced myself and explained my error. I sent the numbers to the correct people right then and there and offered to help set up the conference room ahead of their presentation if they needed more time to prep because of my delay. After that, I always asked any questions I had rather than making assumptions and I haven’t had a mixup like that since.”

A manager who acted too quickly when dealing with a direct report might say:

“As a woman in software engineering I’ve always felt the need to speak up to make sure I’m respected by my colleagues and coworkers. This has usually worked well and I’ve also helped other female or nonbinary engineers feel more comfortable doing the same. However, when I was first promoted to engineering manager, I took it too far. When one of my team members failed to complete his part of the sprint in time, I called him out in a team Zoom meeting.

“Later on, he Slacked me and explained that he’d been dealing with multiple cases of COVID in his family. I apologized to him for how I’d brought it up and asked about his situation. When he was ready, we discussed why he hadn’t talked to me ahead of time and how important it is to know when someone is falling behind so that we hit our overall goals. He’s been more forthcoming since, and at our next huddle I told the team that I shouldn’t have called the engineer out like that, while still maintaining his privacy. Since then, I’ve developed a policy of always checking in one-on-one first. I’ve also learned that while being assertive is necessary sometimes, it’s never necessary for that to cross the line into putting someone on the spot like that. As a result, I’ve gotten some of the highest management scores in the company and that engineer is now one of our top performers.”

Someone who made a mistake with a customer could say:

“At my last retail job, we had a daily meeting before each shift started just to hear any announcements or learn about promotions going on at the store. I always attended and listened, but I didn’t take notes. One day, the shift manager told us that all birthday party supplies were on back order so they wouldn’t be replenished on Tuesday as usual. Later on, someone shopping for their child’s birthday party asked if we’d have more Roblox decorations in by Wednesday. I automatically told them to come back on Tuesday and only realized my mistake the next morning when the manager made the same announcement again. From that day forward, I started taking notes at shift meetings and haven’t forgotten anything since. And, on Tuesday, I happened to spot that same customer and apologized, but told them that I’d checked and another location five miles away had the decorations they were looking for in stock. I even called the other store to set them aside while the customer drove over. I’ve seen the same customer multiple times since and we always say ‘Hi.’”

How to Answer “Tell Me About a Time When You Made a Mistake and What You Learned From It” (With Sample Answers)

Why Do Employers Ask About Your Mistakes?

• Employers want to see how you handle adversity and setbacks. No one is perfect, and it's inevitable that you will make mistakes at some point in your career. By asking about your mistakes, an employer wants to see how you handle these challenges and whether you can learn from them.
• It's a chance for you to demonstrate your problem-solving skills. When you make a mistake, it's important to identify the root cause of the issue and come up with a plan to prevent it from happening again. By discussing a mistake you made and the steps you took to fix it, you can showcase your problem-solving abilities and show that you are proactive in finding solutions.
• It gives you an opportunity to show your self-awareness. Being self-aware and admitting to your mistakes shows that you are honest and willing to take responsibility for your actions. It also shows that you are open to learning and improving yourself, which are valuable qualities for any employer.

How to Answer the Question

• Pick a specific example. It's important to provide a specific example of a mistake you made rather than just discussing your mistakes in general. This will make your answer more concrete and believable. Choose an example that is not too severe and that you have learned from.
• Explain the mistake and the consequences. After you have chosen your example, explain what the mistake was and what the consequences were. Be honest and straightforward, but avoid placing blame on anyone else. It's important to take responsibility for your actions.
• Discuss what you learned and how you have improved. The most important part of this question is explaining what you learned from the mistake and how you have improved as a result. This shows that you are capable of self-reflection and that you are committed to personal and professional growth.

How to Prepare for the Question

• Mistakes you made in past jobs or internships
• Mistakes you made during a group project or teamwork
• Mistakes you made while studying or completing a task

Common Mistakes

2. Not explaining the consequences of the mistake

3. Not discussing what was learned and how improvement was made

4. Being too negative or defensive

Sample Answers

• "One time, I made a mistake at my previous job when I accidentally entered the wrong information into a spreadsheet. This caused some confusion and delays in a project we were working on. I realized that I had been rushing and not paying enough attention to detail. After the mistake, I made sure to double check my work and slow down to ensure that everything was accurate. I learned that it's important to pay attention to detail and not rush through tasks, as it can have consequences on the overall project."
• "During a group project in college, I made a mistake by not communicating effectively with my team members. I assumed that everyone had the same understanding of the task and didn't take the time to clarify any confusion. As a result, we ended up completing the project late and received a lower grade than we had hoped for. After the mistake, I made sure to be more proactive in communication and to ask for clarification when needed. I learned that effective communication is key to successful teamwork and project completion."
• "One mistake I made early in my career was not managing my time effectively. I took on too many tasks and ended up feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. I realized that I needed to prioritize my tasks and delegate some of the workload to others. After the mistake, I developed a time management system and learned to say no to tasks that would take me away from my priorities. I learned that effective time management is crucial for maintaining a healthy work-life balance and being productive."

• Career Blog

How to Address Your Biggest Mistake in an Interview

Making mistakes is a natural and inevitable part of life, but when it comes to job interviews, mistakes can have long-lasting consequences. Whether it’s a small error or a major faux pas, it’s important to address your mistake in an interview, rather than ignore it and hope for the best.

Addressing your mistake in an interview shows that you’re accountable and willing to take ownership of your actions. It also demonstrates that you’re proactive and have the ability to learn from your mistakes. In some cases, addressing your mistake head-on could even turn a negative situation into a positive one.

Understanding the impact of mistakes

The impact of a mistake in an interview can vary depending on the severity of the error and the job you’re applying for. However, it’s important to remember that mistakes can lead to a loss of credibility, damage to your reputation, and ultimately, the loss of a job opportunity.

Brief overview of ways to address mistakes in an interview

In this article, we’ll cover various ways to address your biggest mistake in an interview, including acknowledging the error, taking responsibility, being sincere and authentic, providing context and explaining what you learned, and emphasizing your strengths and accomplishments. With these strategies, you’ll be better equipped to address your mistake in a way that shows your integrity and professionalism, and positions you as a strong candidate for the job.

Analyze the Mistake

When you’re asked in an interview about your biggest mistake, it’s important to go beyond simply admitting fault. Instead, take the opportunity to demonstrate your problem-solving skills by analyzing the mistake in detail.

A. Identifying the Mistake

The first step in analyzing a mistake is to clearly identify what happened. Be honest and concise when describing the mistake, making sure to take responsibility for your actions. This could include anything from a missed deadline to a miscommunication with a coworker.

B. Causes and Contributing Factors

Next, consider the factors that contributed to the mistake. Were there external factors such as time constraints or inadequate resources that played a role? Or were there internal factors such as lack of communication or poor decision-making on your part?

It’s important to be honest with yourself and objectively evaluate these factors in order to learn from the mistake and prevent it from happening again in the future.

C. Understanding the Impact of the Mistake

Finally, it’s crucial to understand the impact that your mistake had on your team, your company, and any other stakeholders involved. This could include lost revenue, decreased productivity, or damage to the company’s reputation.

Be sure to describe the impact in detail, but also emphasize the steps you took to rectify the mistake and prevent it from happening again. Demonstrating accountability and a proactive attitude towards problem-solving can go a long way in impressing potential employers. By taking responsibility for your actions, objectively evaluating the contributing factors, and understanding the impact of your mistake, you can show interviewers that you’re not afraid to tackle challenging situations head-on.

Timing is Key

When it comes to addressing mistakes in an interview, timing is crucial. Below are some important factors to consider in order to choose the optimal time to address the issue and to prepare for the interview.

A. Choosing the Right Time to Address the Mistake

It’s important to consider when to bring up the mistake during the interview. Ideally, it should be addressed after you’ve discussed your qualifications and experience. You don’t want the interviewer to dismiss you immediately because they perceive you as a poor candidate based on your mistake.

You also want to avoid bringing up the mistake too late in the interview, as it may leave the interviewer feeling like they’ve been deceived. Instead, choose a natural point to bring it up in the conversation, such as when discussing challenges faced on the job.

B. Preparing for the Interview

Before the interview, it’s important to reflect on the mistake and what you learned from it. This will give you confidence in discussing it with the interviewer. If it’s a technical issue, make sure you brush up on the subject matter beforehand to ensure you can answer any related questions.

It’s also important to be prepared for any potential follow-up questions. Consider how you would handle a question related to the mistake, such as “What did you do to prevent this from happening again?” Practice your responses to these types of questions in advance.

C. Factors to Consider While Addressing the Mistake

When discussing the mistake, it’s important to focus on how you handled it and what you learned from it. Don’t dwell on the negative aspects of the mistake, but instead focus on the positive outcome and any growth you experienced as a result.

It’s also crucial to take responsibility for the mistake and not deflect blame onto others. Show that you are accountable and willing to take ownership of your actions.

Lastly, make sure to demonstrate your problem-solving skills by discussing how you overcame the mistake and any steps you took to prevent it from happening again in the future.

By considering these factors, you can choose the best time to address your mistake and present it in a positive light during the interview. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, but it’s how you handle them that makes all the difference.

Apologize Effectively

A. recognizing the need to apologize.

The first step in making a effective apology is recognizing the need to do so. Whether it’s in an interview or in your personal life, admitting fault and taking ownership of your mistake is crucial. When we make mistakes, we often feel the need to defend ourselves or shift the blame onto others. However, this approach only exacerbates the situation and damages relationships. Recognizing the need to apologize requires humility, self-awareness, and a willingness to make amends.

B. Ways to Apologize Effectively

Once you’ve recognized the need to apologize, the next step is to do so effectively. Here are some ways to do so:

Express Regret: Start by saying “I’m sorry” and expressing remorse for your actions. Avoid excuses or justifications for your behavior.

Acknowledge Responsibility: Take responsibility for your mistake and avoid blaming others. Use “I” statements rather than “you” or “we” statements.

Make Amends: Offer to make things right by fixing the mistake or compensating for any harm caused.

Promise Change: Explain what you plan to do differently in the future to avoid similar mistakes.

C. Dos and Don’ts of an Apology

To ensure your apology is effective, here are some dos and don’ts to keep in mind:

Be sincere and genuine in your apology.

Take responsibility for your actions.

Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements.

Offer to make things right.

Promise to change and improve.

Don’ts

Make excuses for your behavior.

Blame others for your mistake.

Minimize the harm caused.

Expect immediate forgiveness.

Repeat the same mistake in the future.

Effectively apologizing requires recognizing the need to do so, taking ownership of your mistake, and making genuine amends. By following the dos and don’ts outlined above, you can demonstrate humility and self-awareness while restoring trust and repairing relationships.

Take Responsibility for the Mistake

When addressing your biggest mistake in an interview, it’s important to take full responsibility for your actions. Accepting responsibility is key to demonstrating your maturity, accountability, and willingness to learn and grow from the experience.

To start, acknowledge that you made a mistake and take ownership of what went wrong. Avoid making excuses or blaming others for your error. Be honest and humble in your approach, and show the interviewer that you understand the impact of your mistake.

Emphasizing accountability is also crucial in showing that you are a responsible candidate. Share how you have taken steps to rectify the situation and prevent similar errors from happening in the future. Be proactive and show how you have learned from the experience, and outline what you plan to do differently moving forward.

Finally, use specific strategies to showcase your responsibility in the interview. For example, you could discuss the steps you took to resolve the issue, such as apologizing to anyone affected or implementing a new process to prevent similar mistakes. You could also talk about how you have improved your communication skills, taken on additional training, or sought out mentorship to help prevent future errors.

Taking responsibility for your mistake is crucial when addressing it in an interview. By emphasizing your accountability and showing specific strategies for growth and improvement, you can demonstrate that you are a mature and responsible candidate who is capable of learning and growing from their experiences.

Provide a Solution for the Mistake

As an interviewee, the way you address your biggest mistake matters a lot in determining your candidacy for the role you are interviewing for. So, how can you provide a solution for the mistake and stand a better chance of being successful in the interview? Here are some ideas:

A. Identifying a Solution for the Mistake

The first step is admitting that you made a mistake and then identifying what the mistake was. After this, you need to consider the possible solutions for the mistake that you made. Perhaps your mistake was that you missed a deadline, or you provided incomplete work, or you failed to communicate important details to your team. Whatever it may be, it’s essential to come up with a solution that can help rectify the mistake and prevent it from happening again in the future.

B. Factors to Consider While Providing the Solution

While developing the solution for the mistake, you need to consider some essential factors, including:

The severity of the mistake: If the severity of the mistake is high, you need to develop a robust solution that can help resolve the issue as soon as possible.

Relevance to the job: Ensure that the solution you provide is relevant to the role you are interviewing for.

Feasibility: The solution you provide should be feasible and reasonable to implement.

C. Steps to Implement the Solution

After identifying the solution, you should go ahead and implement it. The following are steps that you can follow to implement the solution:

Inform your interviewer: During the interview, inform the panel of the mistake, admitting that it was a learning experience. You then can explain how you resolved the issue and what steps you took to prevent it from happening in the future.

Outline the solution: Explain your solution clearly to the interviewer, highlighting the factors you considered before developing it.

Show how you executed the solution: Provide a detailed account of how you implemented the solution, including the steps you took and the results that you achieved.

Reflect on what you learned: Finally, reflect on what you learned from the experience and how you use that critical lesson in all areas of your life, including in future employment.

Providing a solution for your biggest mistake in an interview does not guarantee that you will get the job. However, it shows the truthfulness of your character and your ability to acknowledge your errors and work towards remedying them.

Demonstrate Self-Improvement

A. communicating personal growth and improvement.

When discussing your biggest mistake in an interview, it’s important to also communicate how you have grown and improved as a result of the experience. Talk about the steps you’ve taken to make sure the mistake won’t happen again, such as seeking out additional training or education, adopting better time management techniques, or seeking feedback from colleagues.

B. Showing willingness to learn from the experience

Employers want to see that you not only recognize your mistakes, but that you are also willing to learn from them. This means not only discussing what went wrong, but also how you have adjusted your approach moving forward. Explain how the mistake has led to personal and professional growth, and provide specific examples of how you have improved since the incident.

C. Examples and strategies for self-improvement

Here are some examples and strategies for demonstrating self-improvement:

Seek feedback:  Ask colleagues or mentors for constructive criticism and take their feedback to heart. Use it to make positive changes in your approach.

Continuing education:  Take a course or attend a seminar related to the skills or knowledge that led to the mistake.

Adopt new techniques:  Identify new approaches that could help you avoid making the same mistake in the future. For example, if you struggled with time management, consider using a project management tool or creating a daily schedule.

Practice introspection:  Reflect on your actions and behavior, and be honest with yourself about areas for improvement. Work on building self-awareness and self-control.

Learn from others:  Seek out advice and guidance from colleagues or mentors who have faced similar challenges. Learn from their experiences.

The key to demonstrating self-improvement is to be honest, specific, and proactive. Show that you have learned from your mistake, and that you are taking concrete steps to improve yourself both personally and professionally. This will demonstrate to potential employers that you are not only capable of recognizing and managing your mistakes, but that you are also committed to continual growth and improvement.

Highlight Other Strengths

When we’re faced with the task of addressing our biggest mistake in an interview, it can be easy to get lost in a sea of self-doubt and negative self-talk. However, it’s important to remember that one mistake does not define who we are as a professional, and highlighting our other strengths and skills can be an effective way to redirect the focus from the mistake and onto our positive attributes.

A. Emphasizing Other Strengths and Skills

One way to showcase our strengths and skills is to approach the interview with confidence and a positive attitude. Even if we’re nervous or unsure about how to address our mistake, emphasizing our other strengths can show the interviewer that we’re capable and motivated to succeed.

Another way to emphasize our strengths is to prepare for the interview by identifying and practicing responses to common interview questions. We can focus on highlighting our relevant skills and experiences in a way that shows how they will benefit the position and the company.

B. Redirecting Focus from the Mistake

During the interview, it’s important to briefly address the mistake and take responsibility for it, but we don’t want to dwell on it or allow it to overshadow our other positive attributes. By redirecting the focus onto our strengths and skills, we can shift the conversation in a more positive direction.

One way to redirect the focus is to mention how we’ve learned from the mistake and grown as a professional. This can demonstrate our ability to adapt and improve, which are valuable qualities in any position.

C. Examples and Tips for Highlighting Strengths

Some examples of strengths and skills that can be highlighted in an interview include:

• Excellent communication skills
• Strong problem-solving abilities
• Proven track record of meeting deadlines
• Leadership and team management experience

When highlighting our strengths, it’s important to be specific and provide examples of how we’ve demonstrated these qualities in past positions or projects. We can also use stories or anecdotes to illustrate our strengths in action.

To further emphasize our strengths, we can tailor our responses to the specific needs and goals of the company. By researching the company beforehand and identifying areas where our strengths align with their mission and values, we can make a stronger case for why we’re the right fit for the position.

Highlighting our other strengths and skills can make a big difference in how we’re perceived during an interview. By approaching the conversation with positivity and confidence, and redirecting the focus onto our positive attributes, we can overcome our biggest mistake and make a strong impression on the interviewer.

Practice Mock Interviews

Interviews can be daunting, especially if you are still reeling from your biggest mistake. However, one way to ease your nerves and gain confidence is to practice through mock interviews.

A. Preparing for the interview through practice

Mock interviews are a great way to prepare for interviews, especially if you know your biggest mistake has the potential to come up during the interview. Take time to research common interview questions and practice answering them. Additionally, tailor your practice interviews to the specific job you are interviewing for.

B. Incorporating feedback to improve interview skills

After each mock interview, ask for feedback from the person conducting the mock interview or anyone who listened in. Feedback can help you identify areas where you need to improve, such as fidgeting, lack of eye contact, or not providing detailed answers. Use this feedback to address your mistakes and improve your interview skills.

C. Strategies and tools for mock interviews

There are several strategies and tools you can use to conduct mock interviews. You can use online tools that provide interview questions, enlist a friend or family member to conduct the mock interview, or use a career coach. Additionally, you can record yourself during the mock interview to identify nonverbal mistakes that you may not be aware of.

Mock interviews are a powerful tool for preparing for job interviews, especially when you are trying to address a prior mistake. They allow you to practice answering interview questions, incorporate feedback, and use strategies and tools to improve your interview skills. Remember to take advantage of mock interviews to improve your interview performance and increase your chances of landing the job.

Follow-Up and Thank You Note

After an interview, it’s essential to follow up with a thank you note. Not only does it show your appreciation for the interviewer’s time, but it can also help you establish a good rapport with them. In this section, we’ll discuss the importance of follow-up, how to craft an effective thank you note, and the do’s and don’ts of follow-up.

A. Importance of Follow-Up

Following up after an interview is crucial as it shows your commitment and interest in the position. It also gives you an opportunity to highlight some of the key points that were discussed in the interview and emphasize why you would be an excellent fit for the role. Additionally, it shows that you’re proactive and eager to move forward in the hiring process.

B. Crafting an Effective Thank You Note

While it’s important to send a thank you note, it’s equally essential to craft it effectively. Here are some tips to consider:

• Send the note within 24 hours of the interview.
• Address the interviewer by name and be specific about what you discussed during the interview.
• Reiterate your interest in the position and emphasize why you would be an excellent fit.
• Be concise and professional.

Here’s an example:

Dear [Interviewer’s Name],

Thank you for taking the time to meet with me yesterday. I truly appreciate the opportunity to learn more about the [Position] role and [Company] company. Our conversation about [specific topic discussed in the interview] was particularly insightful [or mention your key takeaway]. I’m excited about the possibility of contributing to the [Company’s] work and being part of the team that [insert company mission statement]. Thank you again for your time and consideration.

Sincerely, [Your Name]

C. Do’s and Don’ts of Follow-Up

Here are some guidelines to follow for a successful follow-up:

• Be respectful of the interviewer’s time.
• Show enthusiasm and reiterate your interest in the position.
• Address any concerns that arose during the interview.
• Provide any additional information requested by the interviewer.
• Mention any relevant experience or skills that you forgot to mention during the interview.
• Be pushy or demanding.
• Overdo it with excessive follow-ups.
• Write a generic follow-up that doesn’t address anything specific to the interview.
• Offer reasons why you’re the perfect fit for the position without backing them up with evidence.
• Ask about salary or other benefits.

Don’t underestimate the power of a follow-up and thank you note. Not only does it leave a positive impression with the interviewer, but it also shows that you’re serious about the position and committed to making a great impression. Remember to follow the guidelines and craft an effective note to leave a lasting impression.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Life Experiences — Mistake

Essays About Mistake

Writing an essay on the topic of Mistake is important as it allows individuals to reflect on their own experiences, learn from their errors, and seek personal growth. It is an opportunity to explore the impact of mistakes on one's life and relationships, and to consider how they can be turned into valuable learning experiences.

When writing an essay on Mistake, it is important to consider the following tips:

• Be honest: Reflect on a specific mistake you have made and be honest about the impact it had on you and others.
• Provide context: Give background information about the mistake, including the circumstances and your intentions at the time.
• Discuss the consequences: Analyze the consequences of the mistake, both short-term and long-term, and how it affected you and those around you.
• Reflect on the learning: Share what you have learned from the mistake and how it has influenced your behavior and decision-making.
• Offer insights: Provide insights into how others can avoid making similar mistakes and offer advice on how to handle the aftermath of a mistake.

By following these tips, you can effectively convey the significance of the mistake you are writing about and the valuable lessons that can be gleaned from it.

What Makes a Good Mistake Essay Topics

When it comes to choosing a mistake essay topic, it's important to consider a few key factors. First and foremost, the topic should be something that you are passionate about and interested in exploring. It should also be something that is unique and thought-provoking, offering a fresh perspective on the concept of making mistakes. Additionally, a good mistake essay topic should be relevant and relatable to your audience, sparking their interest and prompting them to think critically about the subject matter.

To brainstorm and choose your mistake essay topic, start by reflecting on personal experiences and the lessons learned from them. Consider the impact of the mistake and how it has shaped your perspective or influenced your decisions. You can also draw inspiration from current events, historical incidents, or even fictional scenarios. Ultimately, the best mistake essay topic will be one that challenges you to delve deep into the complexities of human error and the growth that can result from it.

Best Mistake Essay Topics

• The Unforeseen Consequences of a Hasty Decision
• Embracing Failure: How Mistakes Can Lead to Personal Growth
• The Art of Learning from Mistakes: Lessons from a Failed Project
• The Power of Vulnerability: Embracing Imperfection
• The Unexpected Benefits of Taking Risks
• The Ripple Effect of a Single Mistake
• The Myth of Perfection: Embracing Flaws and Failures
• Overcoming the Fear of Making Mistakes
• The Value of Failure: Reimagining Success
• The Road to Redemption: Learning from Past Mistakes
• The Liberation of Embracing Imperfection
• The Paradox of Perfectionism: The Downside of Striving for Flawlessness
• The Power of Self-Compassion in the Face of Mistakes
• The Art of Forgiving Yourself: Moving Forward from Past Errors
• The Role of Mistakes in Innovation and Creativity
• The Unexpected Joys of Embracing Failure
• The Evolution of a Mistake: From Regret to Resilience
• The Intersection of Failure and Success: Navigating the Gray Area
• The Unseen Opportunities in the Wake of a Mistake
• The Unconventional Wisdom of Learning from Mistakes

Mistake Essay Topics Prompts

• Imagine a world where people were encouraged to celebrate their mistakes. How would this shift in mindset impact society as a whole?
• Reflect on a significant mistake you made and the valuable lessons you learned from it. How did this experience shape your perspective and influence your future decisions?
• Consider a historical figure or public figure who faced public scrutiny due to a mistake. How did they handle the situation, and what can we learn from their response?
• Explore the concept of "failing forward" and the role of resilience in overcoming mistakes. How can we reframe our perception of failure as a stepping stone to success?
• Imagine a scenario where making mistakes was no longer stigmatized. How would this change the way we approach challenges and pursue our goals?

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Frequently asked questions

How do i write about my challenges and mistakes.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

Frequently asked questions: College admissions essays

When writing your Common App essay , choose a prompt that sparks your interest and that you can connect to a unique personal story.

No matter which prompt you choose, admissions officers are more interested in your ability to demonstrate personal development , insight, or motivation for a certain area of study.

The Common App essay is your primary writing sample within the Common Application, a college application portal accepted by more than 900 schools. All your prospective schools that accept the Common App will read this essay to understand your character, background, and value as a potential student.

Since this essay is read by many colleges, avoid mentioning any college names or programs; instead, save tailored answers for the supplementary school-specific essays within the Common App.

Most importantly, your essay should be about you , not another person or thing. An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability.

Your essay shouldn’t be a résumé of your experiences but instead should tell a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

When revising your college essay , first check for big-picture issues regarding your message and content. Then, check for flow, tone, style , and clarity. Finally, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors .

If your college essay goes over the word count limit , cut any sentences with tangents or irrelevant details. Delete unnecessary words that clutter your essay.

If you’re struggling to reach the word count for your college essay, add vivid personal stories or share your feelings and insight to give your essay more depth and authenticity.

If you’ve got to write your college essay fast , don’t panic. First, set yourself deadlines: you should spend about 10% of your remaining time on brainstorming, 10% on outlining, 40% writing, 30% revising, and 10% taking breaks in between stages.

Second, brainstorm stories and values based on your essay prompt.

Third, outline your essay based on the montage or narrative essay structure .

Fourth, write specific, personal, and unique stories that would be hard for other students to replicate.

Fifth, revise your essay and make sure it’s clearly written.

Last, if possible, get feedback from an essay coach . Scribbr essay editors can help you revise your essay in 12 hours or less.

Avoid swearing in a college essay , since admissions officers’ opinions of profanity will vary. In some cases, it might be okay to use a vulgar word, such as in dialogue or quotes that make an important point in your essay. However, it’s safest to try to make the same point without swearing.

If you have bad grades on your transcript, you may want to use your college admissions essay to explain the challenging circumstances that led to them. Make sure to avoid dwelling on the negative aspects and highlight how you overcame the situation or learned an important lesson.

However, some college applications offer an additional information section where you can explain your bad grades, allowing you to choose another meaningful topic for your college essay.

Here’s a brief list of college essay topics that may be considered cliché:

• Extracurriculars, especially sports
• Role models
• Dealing with a personal tragedy or death in the family
• Struggling with new life situations (immigrant stories, moving homes, parents’ divorce)
• Becoming a better person after community service, traveling, or summer camp
• Overcoming a difficult class
• Using a common object as an extended metaphor

It’s easier to write a standout essay with a unique topic. However, it’s possible to make a common topic compelling with interesting story arcs, uncommon connections, and an advanced writing style.

Yes. The college application essay is less formal than other academic writing —though of course it’s not mandatory to use contractions in your essay.

In a college essay , you can be creative with your language . When writing about the past, you can use the present tense to make the reader feel as if they were there in the moment with you. But make sure to maintain consistency and when in doubt, default to the correct verb tense according to the time you’re writing about.

The college admissions essay gives admissions officers a different perspective on you beyond your academic achievements, test scores, and extracurriculars. It’s your chance to stand out from other applicants with similar academic profiles by telling a unique, personal, and specific story.

Use a standard font such as Times New Roman or Arial to avoid distracting the reader from your college essay’s content.

A college application essay is less formal than most academic writing . Instead of citing sources formally with in-text citations and a reference list, you can cite them informally in your text.

For example, “In her research paper on genetics, Quinn Roberts explores …”

There is no set number of paragraphs in a college admissions essay . College admissions essays can diverge from the traditional five-paragraph essay structure that you learned in English class. Just make sure to stay under the specified word count .

Most topics are acceptable for college essays if you can use them to demonstrate personal growth or a lesson learned. However, there are a few difficult topics for college essays that should be avoided. Avoid topics that are:

• Overly personal (e.g. graphic details of illness or injury, romantic or sexual relationships)
• Not personal enough (e.g. broad solutions to world problems, inspiring people or things)
• Too negative (e.g. an in-depth look at your flaws, put-downs of others, criticizing the need for a college essay)
• Too boring (e.g. a resume of your academic achievements and extracurriculars)
• Inappropriate for a college essay (e.g. illegal activities, offensive humor, false accounts of yourself, bragging about privilege)

To write an effective diversity essay , include vulnerable, authentic stories about your unique identity, background, or perspective. Provide insight into how your lived experience has influenced your outlook, activities, and goals. If relevant, you should also mention how your background has led you to apply for this university and why you’re a good fit.

Many universities believe a student body composed of different perspectives, beliefs, identities, and backgrounds will enhance the campus learning and community experience.

Admissions officers are interested in hearing about how your unique background, identity, beliefs, culture, or characteristics will enrich the campus community, which is why they assign a diversity essay .

In addition to your main college essay , some schools and scholarships may ask for a supplementary essay focused on an aspect of your identity or background. This is sometimes called a diversity essay .

You can use humor in a college essay , but carefully consider its purpose and use it wisely. An effective use of humor involves unexpected, keen observations of the everyday, or speaks to a deeper theme. Humor shouldn’t be the main focus of the essay, but rather a tool to improve your storytelling.

Get a second opinion from a teacher, counselor, or essay coach on whether your essay’s humor is appropriate.

Though admissions officers are interested in hearing your story, they’re also interested in how you tell it. An exceptionally written essay will differentiate you from other applicants, meaning that admissions officers will spend more time reading it.

You can use literary devices to catch your reader’s attention and enrich your storytelling; however, focus on using just a few devices well, rather than trying to use as many as possible.

To decide on a good college essay topic , spend time thoughtfully answering brainstorming questions. If you still have trouble identifying topics, try the following two strategies:

• Identify your qualities → Brainstorm stories that demonstrate these qualities
• Identify memorable stories → Connect your qualities to these stories

You can also ask family, friends, or mentors to help you brainstorm topics, give feedback on your potential essay topics, or recall key stories that showcase your qualities.

Yes—admissions officers don’t expect everyone to have a totally unique college essay topic . But you must differentiate your essay from others by having a surprising story arc, an interesting insight, and/or an advanced writing style .

There are no foolproof college essay topics —whatever your topic, the key is to write about it effectively. However, a good topic

• Is meaningful, specific, and personal to you
• Focuses on you and your experiences
• Reveals something beyond your test scores, grades, and extracurriculars
• Is creative and original

Unlike a five-paragraph essay, your admissions essay should not end by summarizing the points you’ve already made. It’s better to be creative and aim for a strong final impression.

You should also avoid stating the obvious (for example, saying that you hope to be accepted).

There are a few strategies you can use for a memorable ending to your college essay :

• Return to the beginning with a “full circle” structure
• Reveal the main point or insight in your story
• Look to the future
• End on an action

The best technique will depend on your topic choice, essay outline, and writing style. You can write several endings using different techniques to see which works best.

College deadlines vary depending on the schools you’re applying to and your application plan:

• For early action applications and the first round of early decision applications, the deadline is on November 1 or 15. Decisions are released by mid-December.
• For the second round of early decision applications, the deadline is January 1 or 15. Decisions are released in January or February.
• Regular decision deadlines usually fall between late November and mid-March, and decisions are released in March or April.
• Rolling admission deadlines run from July to April, and decisions are released around four to eight weeks after submission.

Depending on your prospective schools’ requirements, you may need to submit scores for the SAT or ACT as part of your college application .

Some schools now no longer require students to submit test scores; however, you should still take the SAT or ACT and aim to get a high score to strengthen your application package.

Aim to take the SAT or ACT in the spring of your junior year to give yourself enough time to retake it in the fall of your senior year if necessary.

Apply early for federal student aid and application fee waivers. You can also look for scholarships from schools, corporations, and charitable foundations.

To maximize your options, you should aim to apply to about eight schools:

• Two reach schools that might be difficult to get into
• Four match schools that you have a good chance of getting into
• Two safety schools that you feel confident you’ll get into

The college admissions essay accounts for roughly 25% of the weight of your application .

At highly selective schools, there are four qualified candidates for every spot. While your academic achievements are important, your college admissions essay can help you stand out from other applicants with similar profiles.

In general, for your college application you will need to submit all of the following:

• Your personal information
• List of extracurriculars and awards
• College application essays
• Transcripts
• Standardized test scores
• Recommendation letters.

Different colleges may have specific requirements, so make sure you check exactly what’s expected in the application guidance.

You should start thinking about your college applications the summer before your junior year to give you sufficient time for college visits, taking standardized tests, applying for financial aid , writing essays, and collecting application material.

Yes, but make sure your essay directly addresses the prompt, respects the word count , and demonstrates the organization’s values.

If you plan ahead, you can save time by writing one scholarship essay for multiple prompts with similar questions. In a scholarship tracker spreadsheet, you can group or color-code overlapping essay prompts; then, write a single essay for multiple scholarships. Sometimes, you can even reuse or adapt your main college essay .

You can start applying for scholarships as early as your junior year. Continue applying throughout your senior year.

Invest time in applying for various scholarships , especially local ones with small dollar amounts, which are likely easier to win and more reflective of your background and interests. It will be easier for you to write an authentic and compelling essay if the scholarship topic is meaningful to you.

You can find scholarships through your school counselor, community network, or an internet search.

A scholarship essay requires you to demonstrate your values and qualities while answering the prompt’s specific question.

After researching the scholarship organization, identify a personal experience that embodies its values and exemplifies how you will be a successful student.

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

• A unique, personally meaningful topic
• A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
• Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
• Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
• Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
• A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

While timelines will differ depending on the student, plan on spending at least 1–3 weeks brainstorming and writing the first draft of your college admissions essay , and at least 2–4 weeks revising across multiple drafts. Don’t forget to save enough time for breaks between each writing and editing stage.

You should already begin thinking about your essay the summer before your senior year so that you have plenty of time to try out different topics and get feedback on what works.

Your college essay accounts for about 25% of your application’s weight. It may be the deciding factor in whether you’re accepted, especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurricular track records.

In most cases, quoting other people isn’t a good way to start your college essay . Admissions officers want to hear your thoughts about yourself, and quotes often don’t achieve that. Unless a quote truly adds something important to your essay that it otherwise wouldn’t have, you probably shouldn’t include it.

Cliché openers in a college essay introduction are usually general and applicable to many students and situations. Most successful introductions are specific: they only work for the unique essay that follows.

The key to a strong college essay introduction is not to give too much away. Try to start with a surprising statement or image that raises questions and compels the reader to find out more.

The introduction of your college essay is the first thing admissions officers will read and therefore your most important opportunity to stand out. An excellent introduction will keep admissions officers reading, allowing you to tell them what you want them to know.

You can speed up this process by shortening and smoothing your writing with a paraphrasing tool . After that, you can use the summarizer to shorten it even more.

If you’re struggling to reach the word count for your college essay, add vivid personal stories or share your feelings and insight to give your essay more depth and authenticity.

Most college application portals specify a word count range for your essay, and you should stay within 10% of the upper limit to write a developed and thoughtful essay.

You should aim to stay under the specified word count limit to show you can follow directions and write concisely. However, don’t write too little, as it may seem like you are unwilling or unable to write a detailed and insightful narrative about yourself.

If no word count is specified, we advise keeping your essay between 400 and 600 words.

In your application essay , admissions officers are looking for particular features : they want to see context on your background, positive traits that you could bring to campus, and examples of you demonstrating those qualities.

Colleges want to be able to differentiate students who seem similar on paper. In the college application essay , they’re looking for a way to understand each applicant’s unique personality and experiences.

You don’t need a title for your college admissions essay , but you can include one if you think it adds something important.

Your college essay’s format should be as simple as possible:

• Use a standard, readable font
• Use 1.5 or double spacing
• If attaching a file, save it as a PDF
• Stick to the word count
• Avoid unusual formatting and unnecessary decorative touches

There are no set rules for how to structure a college application essay , but these are two common structures that work:

• A montage structure, a series of vignettes with a common theme.
• A narrative structure, a single story that shows your personal growth or how you overcame a challenge.

Avoid the five-paragraph essay structure that you learned in high school.

Campus visits are always helpful, but if you can’t make it in person, the college website will have plenty of information for you to explore. You should look through the course catalog and even reach out to current faculty with any questions about the school.

Colleges set a “Why this college?” essay because they want to see that you’ve done your research. You must prove that you know what makes the school unique and can connect that to your own personal goals and academic interests.

Depending on your writing, you may go through several rounds of revision . Make sure to put aside your essay for a little while after each editing stage to return with a fresh perspective.

Teachers and guidance counselors can help you check your language, tone, and content . Ask for their help at least one to two months before the submission deadline, as many other students will also want their help.

Friends and family are a good resource to check for authenticity. It’s best to seek help from family members with a strong writing or English educational background, or from older siblings and cousins who have been through the college admissions process.

If possible, get help from an essay coach or editor ; they’ll have specialized knowledge of college admissions essays and be able to give objective expert feedback.

When revising your college essay , first check for big-picture issues regarding message, flow, tone, style , and clarity. Then, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

• What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
• Whom do you admire most and why?
• What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

In a college application essay , you can occasionally bend grammatical rules if doing so adds value to the storytelling process and the essay maintains clarity.

However, use standard language rules if your stylistic choices would otherwise distract the reader from your overall narrative or could be easily interpreted as unintentional errors.

Write concisely and use the active voice to maintain a quick pace throughout your essay and make sure it’s the right length . Avoid adding definitions unless they provide necessary explanation.

Use first-person “I” statements to speak from your perspective . Use appropriate word choices that show off your vocabulary but don’t sound like you used a thesaurus. Avoid using idioms or cliché expressions by rewriting them in a creative, original way.

If you’re an international student applying to a US college and you’re comfortable using American idioms or cultural references , you can. But instead of potentially using them incorrectly, don’t be afraid to write in detail about yourself within your own culture.

Provide context for any words, customs, or places that an American admissions officer might be unfamiliar with.

College application essays are less formal than other kinds of academic writing . Use a conversational yet respectful tone , as if speaking with a teacher or mentor. Be vulnerable about your feelings, thoughts, and experiences to connect with the reader.

Aim to write in your authentic voice , with a style that sounds natural and genuine. You can be creative with your word choice, but don’t use elaborate vocabulary to impress admissions officers.

Admissions officers use college admissions essays to evaluate your character, writing skills , and ability to self-reflect . The essay is your chance to show what you will add to the academic community.

The college essay may be the deciding factor in your application , especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurriculars.

Some colleges also require supplemental essays about specific topics, such as why you chose that specific college . Scholarship essays are often required to obtain financial aid .

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How To Admit You Were Wrong: 12 Tips If You Find It Difficult

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Learning to admit you were wrong is a skill that many people never develop.

Let’s face it— being wrong is hard to admit .

It requires self-awareness, empathy, and the ability to have uncomfortable discussions.

It also takes a great deal of humility, which many people view as a weakness rather than the powerful strength that it is.

If you find it difficult to admit you’ve made a mistake, the following 12 tips will help you better navigate this uncomfortable situation (and your relationships will thank you for it):

Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you learn how to admit when you were wrong. You may want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient.

1. Stay calm.

Take some time to collect your thoughts and get your emotions under control before you own the mistake .

If you try to address it immediately, there’s a good chance that you’ll fire back with anger or defensiveness that will make the problem worse.

Think back to a time when you responded to a problem with anger. It probably didn’t go so well, did it?

Express to the other person that you need some time to cool off and think about the situation. Most reasonable people will agree to this because they’ll likely benefit from a few minutes to think, too.

2. Reflect on the situation.

Once you’re calm, consider the circumstances and factors that led to your mistake.

Why did the situation happen? What could you have done differently to change the outcome? How can you avoid it happening again in the future?

Maybe you had a lack of good information or understanding about the situation. This can be fixed next time by taking time to find all the pieces of the puzzle and searching out different perspectives before you react.

Or perhaps you always feel the need to be right , even if you’re wrong, and this got the better of you. This is a hard habit to overcome, but owning that you have a problem with it is a good start.

Asking yourself these questions will help you better explain to the other person why it happened and what you can do differently in the future.

3. Acknowledge the mistake directly.

Do not beat around the bush. Do not avoid addressing the problem directly.

Clearly admit that you were wrong and what your mistake was. Use straightforward language and don’t make excuses or shift blame.

If you’re including the word “but” in your acknowledgment, it’s quite likely you’re trying to make an excuse or shift blame, even if you don’t realize it. A lot of people don’t.

The benefits of admitting your mistake include opening the lines of communication, building trust by sharing vulnerability, and demonstrating humility.

All great things for your relationships, I’m sure you’ll agree.

4. Choose the right time and place.

Private matters and problems that you have with other people are best aired in private.

So, find an appropriate setting to discuss the mistake, preferably somewhere private where you can both speak freely. And consider the timing of when you want to acknowledge the mistake.

The context of the conversation may change if they’re stressed out, upset, or dealing with a heavy load. They may even feel like you’re trying to take advantage of their vulnerability by bringing it up at a sensitive time.

You can say something like, “Hey. I’d like to talk to you about this thing I did. Is now a good time? Or would you prefer some other time?” This allows them to set the pace and stage, and you should respect that.

5. Be honest and transparent.

This one can’t be stressed enough.

If you’re leaving out information or trying to sidestep particular pieces of the puzzle, they’re going to know.

They were most likely present for it, after all.

But, even if you did manage to slide something past them dishonestly, you’re going to have a much, much bigger problem later on when they eventually find out the truth. And chances are, they will.

This could shatter the relationship beyond repair and just isn’t worth the risk.

6. Use “I” statements.

By acknowledging your mistake with “I” statements you are communicating that you are taking personal responsibility for the mistake.

“I made a mistake” is a good place to start the conversation and apologize, but it’s easy to mess up “I” statements if you’re not aware of how easily you can disqualify them with what you say next.

For example, “I made a mistake because John told me you’d done XYZ” (and what John told you turned out not to be true).

On the surface, that may seem completely reasonable. If you made a bad decision based on incorrect information that John gave you, it would be easy to blame John.

But the real question is—why didn’t you ask the person involved if what John said was true first? Why didn’t you make sure you had good information before acting on it?

It doesn’t matter if John gave you bad information. You chose to take that information and act on it.

Your actions are your responsibility.

7. Apology sincerely.

Common advice is to apologize sincerely. But what does a sincere apology look like? How do you make a sincere apology?

If you’re ok with eye contact, look the person in the eye and tell them: “I am sorry for hurting you when I did XYZ. I would like to fix the problem/make it up to you. How can I do that?”

Do have a suggestion or two already thought up.

The other person might have their own ideas, but they may not. Or they may want to hear that you’ve thought about ways you can make it better and stop it from happening again.

Since you committed the mistake, you should be putting in the effort to find a solution to mend the rift, but you should also be open to hearing what they want and need too.

8. Demonstrate learning from your mistake.

This follows nicely from our previous point.

During your conversation, you want to communicate how you’ve learned from the mistake and what you want to do better going forward.

There is no better apology than a commitment to do better, and then actually doing it . Be as honest as you can be, even if you’re afraid to look stupid .

No one wants to say, “This is a common problem for me. I am trying my best to do better.” Admitting our flaws and shortcomings is hard and not every solution is as simple as snapping our fingers and changing an action.

Some actions are the result of ingrained habits that need to be addressed. Addressing those habits can take time.

But by owning up to them, you, and others, can be more accepting of your flaws , and in turn, you can start to work on them and the impact they have on those around you.  

9. Listen to others.

It’s worth noting that not every situation is appropriate to involve other people in. The person you wronged may not want anyone else to be aware of the problem because it’s embarrassing or painful.

Still, the input of trusted third parties can give additional context and perspective that can help you come to a better solution.

But do be wary of who you take advice from. Some people’s wisdom and common sense can be questionable at times.

Seeking an outsider’s opinion might not be the best choice if you don’t like being corrected or feeling like anyone else is in your business.

Still, that third party can be helpful if it’s an option.

A therapist is a good choice for this, as that way you don’t need to argue with everyone close to you to justify or explain decisions that they might not understand.

10. Avoid making excuses.

Don’t downplay the significance of the mistake or make excuses for it.

If they ask for reasoning, provide the information as neutrally as you can. Again, use the “I” statements we talked about earlier.

For example, “I did X because I thought Z, which turned out to be very wrong and resulted in harming you.”

Accepting responsibility without justification is crucial for a sincere apology.

11. Focus on solutions.

If the other person seems ready, shift the conversation to solutions or fixing the situation rather than dwelling on the problem.

But be prepared to give them time if they aren’t quite there yet. They may have their own emotions or opinions to work through before they are ready to look for a solution.

Be proactive in thinking of a resolution and fixing it. Help the other person out where you can, but only if they need it.

12. Learn and move on.

Once you’ve admitted your mistake and taken corrective action, it’s time to move forward.

Don’t waste time dwelling on your mistake. This will hinder your personal growth and may actually prevent you from learning from your error. It also prevents the other person from moving on.

Instead of moving forward, you both end up swimming in circles.

Any mistake you make is an opportunity for growth.

You made a mistake, you acknowledged it, you learned from it—it’s time to let it go and move on.

Still not sure how to admit that you were wrong about something?

Speak to a therapist about it. Why? Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours.

They can help you to dig deep into the reasons why you find it so hard to admit you are wrong and help you work through those issues.

BetterHelp.com is a website where you can connect with a therapist via phone, video, or instant message.

While you may try to work through this yourself, it may be a bigger issue than self-help can address.

And if it is affecting your mental well-being, relationships, or life in general, it is a significant thing that needs to be resolved.

Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to overcome behaviors they don’t really understand in the first place. If it’s at all possible in your circumstances, therapy is 100% the best way forward.

Here’s that link again if you’d like to learn more about the service BetterHelp.com provide and the process of getting started.

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About The Author

Jack Nollan is a person who has lived with Bipolar Disorder and Bipolar-depression for almost 30 years now. Jack is a mental health writer of 10 years who pairs lived experience with evidence-based information to provide perspective from the side of the mental health consumer. With hands-on experience as the facilitator of a mental health support group, Jack has a firm grasp of the wide range of struggles people face when their mind is not in the healthiest of places. Jack is an activist who is passionate about helping disadvantaged people find a better path.

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What To Do After You Make A Mistake At Work (With Examples)

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You’ve made a mistake at work, and it feels like the worst thing in the world. You’ve got all sorts of bad feelings, yet it’s probably not as bad as you imagine. Those feelings are totally common, it’s also normal and common to make a mistake. Everyone does it once in a while, and, in most situations, it’s not the end of your job, and it’s definitely not the end of the world.

If you’ve made a mistake at work and are unsure of what to do, stick around. In this article, we’ll go over what to do if you made a mistake at work, provide some steps to take after you made the mistake, and how to recover from the mistake.

Key Takeaways:

Before reacting to a mistake it’s important to take a step back, assess the situation, and don’t ignore it and hope no one notices.

When you make a mistake at work, take responsibility for it, apologize, and work to remedy it.

After making the mistake you should show that you learned from it and grew into a better employee.

What to do when you realize you’ve made a mistake

8 steps to take after you make a mistake at work, how to recover when you make a mistake at work, on the other side of a work error, what to do when you make a mistake at work faq.

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Once you realize you’ve made a work error, you should act quickly and avoid ignoring it in hopes it goes away. Here are more things to do when you realize you’ve made a mistake at work:

Act quickly. If it’s a crucial error and harm can come from not acting quickly is your number one priority.

Work Mistake Needing Immediate Action Example For example, if you didn’t turn off the equipment in an assembly line and someone could get hurt, it’s critical that you run over and shut it down immediately.

But we’re talking more about other types of work errors here like you missed a deadline or completely forgot to compile a report. Maybe you sent an email you shouldn’t have sent. Tagged the wrong graphic with a headline. Anything that doesn’t involve immediate injury or damage needs a second look and careful consideration.

Stop and take a step back. Before you begin apologizing all over the place and calling attention to your error take a moment to breathe and relax. There’s no need to call attention to your mistakes if it’s not necessary. Do your best to fix it, tell the people who need to know about it, and move on.

Don’t ignore the error and hope no one noticed. It’s human nature to protect your ego, but it’s better if you can step away and accept that a mistake was made. Then you won’t have that little bit of doubt and worry eating away at you. You also look better than if the error is discovered later and traced back to you.

It’s essential that you don’t impulsively go overboard or run away from a work error. Find your midpoint, and then move on to the seven steps below.

After you’ve made a mistake, it’s important to accept your emotions and feeling, assess the damages, and be honest about the situation. Here are more steps to take after you make a mistake at work:

Accept your emotions and feelings and then move on. Okay, so you feel bad about your error. Whatever emotions it brings up, none of them are good. Treat these feelings like any other and manage them in a healthy way. The mistake happened, you’re going to react, and all of that is okay. But then move on and stop dwelling.

Assess the damages. So, what happened? Whether it’s a relatively minor or it’s an incredibly major mistake, you need to acknowledge the reality of the situation. Yes, this will prompt emotions, too. If it’s terrible, then you may feel the panic creep back. If it’s not that bad, you might be relieved.

Be honest. If you’ve made a mistake at work, it’s important to be upfront about it. Let your manager know with a brief and truthful description of what happened. When you’re honest about the mistake, it shows your manager that you can take responsibility and it allows them to trust you in the future.

Apologize and take responsibility. Effusive apologies aren’t necessary. But being honest about your role in the error and taking responsibility is. This is important because it shows you can be a professional adult, but there’s another, more important, reason.

Don’t blame. Show your integrity in this situation, even if it is someone else’s fault, or at least partially so. The blame really doesn’t matter when it comes to fixing a mistake.

Prevention and precaution. (Steps five and six work together.) How can you make sure that it never happens again? Are there steps you can take to prevent it from happening, or at least make it less likely to happen?

Cause and effect. Part of your prevention and precaution steps might highlight or pinpoint the cause of the mistake.

If it did, hopefully, you noted it and maybe were already able to spot a way to prevent a future issue. Like, you’re overworked and overtired, so you realize that sleep needs to be a priority.

Recover. Easier said than done. In fact, this topic deserves its own section. So, we’ll cover that below.

Since your reputation can be affected after making a mistake, it’s important to accept it and make the solution to the mistake your focus. Here are some more ways to recover after making a mistake at work:

Accept it. Everyone makes mistakes. You not dwelling on your mistake can be the first step in others not dwelling on it. While you are accepting your error, it’s important that you accept mistakes by others, too. If you can’t forgive others for their mistakes, how are they going to forgive you?

Make the solution the focus. Leave the mistake behind but hold onto the solution. If someone brings up your mistake, direct them to the fact that you also had a solution. Change the narrative.

Take feedback. You made a mistake, you found a solution, but there’s a chance you could have done better. If someone offers feedback , listen to them, and carefully weigh it against your solution. It’s hard not to get defensive, but this could be one of those learning moments that can change you for the better.

Grow from the mistake. One of the best ways to salvage your reputation and improve upon it is to let it define you in a positive way. Display your determination not to make that mistake again and to show you’re even better than before. This will do a lot to your professional reputation.

Don’t do it again. Sure, this should go without saying, but too often, people don’t go beyond the immediate problem to discover what happened in the first place and how to prevent it. Repeated mistakes, especially the same mistake over and over, will definitely tarnish your work reputation.

Be positive. A negative attitude about the mistake, about what people think of you, or about having to fix the mistake will drag you down. Even if someone sees you as the person that made that colossal blunder, your positive approach to the future can begin to erase their misgivings.

Making a mistake is not all bad. Some of the most significant learning moments come from screwing up. It’s through these bad times that you’re forced to try new things and grow.

This can be something you laugh about in the future. It can become a cautionary tale you share with others as you train them for the position. You can make the most of this mistake and use it to prove that you’re someone who overcomes and finds solutions. In fact, the ideas you have could help you and the company avoid similar mistakes in the future.

If you don’t survive this mistake at your job, you can make the most of it. You have the self-satisfaction of knowing that you did what you could to fix it. And imagine how you can twist this into a wonderful answer to the question, “ Tell me about a time you failed ” at your dream job interview.

Is it okay to make mistakes at work?

Yes, it is okay to make mistakes at work. No one is perfect, so you’re going to make a mistake at some point, whether you like it or not. What’s not okay is making mistakes because you were careless. It’s also not okay to hide, blame others for, or ignore your mistakes at work.

Should I tell my boss I made a mistake at work?

Yes, you should tell your boss you made a mistake at work. It may be awkward, but this is far better than your boss finding out about it from someone else, and it allows them to back you up in case others ask about it.

When you explain what happened, make sure to apologize and detail the steps you took or are going to take to remedy it.

How do I apologize for a mistake at work?

To apologize for a mistake at work, say you’re sorry, explain what happened, and detail how you’re going to fix it and prevent it from happening again. Make sure you don’t blame others in your apology or take too long to give an apology either.

What should I do if I made a mistake at work?

If you’ve made a mistake at work, you should act quickly and let your boss know. Take a step back and know that everything is going to be fine. It’s important that you don’t ignore it and hope it will go away. Take responsibility and try to remedy your mistake.

Center for Advanced Legal Studies – Work Mistake? Fess Up to Your Mess Up and Fix It

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Kristin Kizer is an award-winning writer, television and documentary producer, and content specialist who has worked on a wide variety of written, broadcast, and electronic publications. A former writer/producer for The Discovery Channel, she is now a freelance writer and delighted to be sharing her talents and time with the wonderful Zippia audience.

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Essay on Being Late to School: Hurry Up with New Ideas 2024

You push the snooze button once again and finally open your eyes. It is already 8:50, and your classes start at 9. “I’m going to be late again!”— you think, already in full panic mode. In a minute, you rush out the door half-dressed, swallowing your sandwich on the go. 

Does this happen to you every morning? Then, writing an essay on being late to class will be a beneficial task for you.

In the article, you’ll see how to approach writing a “being late” essay. Our custom-writing team has collected the most useful tips that will help you nail the task. Additionally, you will find here:

• topics to write about;
• examples of writing different types of essays on being late to class. 

☑️ How to Write Essays about Tardiness

• 📜 Essays on Being Late: Different Types
• 💡 Top Essay Ideas
• 🔎 References

In case you have to write an essay on being late in general, regardless of the situation, the following tips are for you. Learn how to compose a successful 500-words essay on the topic:   

Step #1: Start with describing a situation when being on time is extremely important.

Let the situation be a job interview, for instance. Tell about the consequences of being late in that case. Can a person who is late for a job interview actually get a job?

Step #2: Now, you can discuss reasons for tardiness.

So, why do some people tend to be late regularly? What excuses do they usually have? Are there any scientific explanations of this phenomenon? Give answers in your essay.

Step #3: Finally, you can discuss how to manage this problem.

Introduce some basic principles of time management. Don’t forget to add your recommendations. If you’ve already had a similar issue, describe how you handled it.

If you have to write an essay about your tardiness, here’s how to apologize for being late:

📜  Different Types of Essays on Being Late: How to Write

Did you know that there are several types of essays on being late? And each type requires different structure. Sounds overwhelming, right? 

Worry not: we have an explanation for every type of essay. With our advice, you can nail your paper on coming late to school!

Apology Letter for Being Late

You write an apology letter when you need to report why you were late. It’s a short, formal essay addressed to your teacher or professor. It can seem daunting at first, but it’s relatively easy to write.

• Start with your teacher’s or principal’s name. You can add “dear” if you want. Example: Dear Mrs [your teacher’s name]
• Apologize for your lateness. Be sincere and straightforward. Example: I am very sorry I missed the first part of your class today.
• Explain why you were late. Don’t make up excuses! Describe the situation as it happened. Example: I was late because I got caught up in a traffic jam.
• Say that you understand that you were wrong. Promise that you won’t be late again. Example: I understand that I should have gotten up earlier. I’ll do my best not to let this happen again.
• Ask what you can do to catch up with the material you’ve missed. Example: I will do the classwork I’ve missed. Please allow me to write the exam I’ve missed.
• Sign the letter with your name and a complimentary close. Example: Thank you for your consideration. Sincerely, [your name]

Cause and Effect Essays for Being Late

Papers on lateness are great for exploring causes and effects. In your essay, you can focus on the reasons behind tardiness and the consequences of being late.

• Select a problem that you can work with.  Example: Being late for school causes a lot of stress for a student. 
• State the leading cause of the problem. Example: Lateness is often caused by a lack of sleep due to stress or too much work.
• Think about the possible effects of this problem. Example: Tardiness can lead to more stress-related problems.
• Write a conclusion. You can simply sum up what you described in the essay. Example: As you can see, being late often causes additional stress.

Narrative Essay for Being Late

Writing a narrative essay is almost like telling a story. In this case, you’ll compose a short story about your absence or tardiness. Here are some tips:

• Write a clear introduction. For example, describe the day when you were late for school. Example: One day I was late for a science lesson and missed a very exciting experiment.
• Write from the first-person perspective. This is instrumental if you’re describing something that happened to you personally. Example: I want to write about an experience that taught me a lot.
• Tell the whole story! Start by describing the reasons why you were late and finish with the outcomes and the lessons learned. Example: In the end, I understood that I should manage my time better.

Reflective Essay for Being Late

A reflective paper is a lot like a narrative essay, but it’s more formal. Here you can reflect on your understanding of punctuality and talk about what influenced it.

• Start by formulating the main idea or a thesis. Example: Understanding how my actions affected other people helped me to become more punctual.
• Describe what you’ve learned through experience and how it influenced you. Example: This experience showed me that if you’re tardy, you can miss the most important events in your life.
• Don’t be afraid to show some creativity and use descriptive language in your reflective essay. Example: The realization hit me like lightning.

Argumentative Essay for Being Late

When writing about being late, you will need to convince the reader of your viewpoint by using arguments.

For example, you can choose to write about how lateness can affect academic performance:

• Formulate your topic as a question. The answer will become your thesis statement. Example: Topic: How can tardiness affect academic performance? Thesis: Students that come late to school disrupt the discipline and miss out on important information, leading to poor academic performance.
• Introduce two arguments—one for and one against your statement. Example: Tardiness negatively affects students’ academic performance, although some people think it’s an exaggeration.
• Present arguments that will persuade the reader that your point is correct and that the opposite is wrong. Example: Students who come to school late miss the first part of the discussion, which makes it hard for them to understand the lesson.

💡  Essays on Being Late: Top Ideas

In some cases, you’re allowed to select what to discuss in your paper. There are several angles to consider the topic from, and you may have trouble picking one.

Can’t decide what to write about in your essay on being late to class? Here are some ideas you can choose from with examples.

Reasons for Being Late to Class

You probably think that laziness and poor time management are the main reasons why students don’t arrive in time. For your essay on being late to school, you might also want to consider the following ideas:

• Some live too far away, and it’s difficult for them to arrive on time.
• Some have illnesses or disabilities that cause them to be late.
• Sometimes students experience too much stress and have trouble sleeping. 
• Learners who are bullied at school may refuse to go back there.
• Issues with public transport may result in delays.
• Some are afraid of their teachers, or they don’t want to write tests.
• Some students want to challenge authority by breaking the rules.
• Some might have problematic parents who try to keep them at home.
• Working because of the family’s tough financial situation forces students to skip classes.
• Practicing religious rites may result in lateness to school.
• Kids can come late on purpose to show off.
• Conflicts with teachers make learners avoid attending classes.
• Caring for younger siblings may cause lateness. 
• Another reason to consider for your essay is the desire to get an adrenaline rush.
• A car breaking down or a bike’s flat tire can cause learners to be unpunctual.
• Some students are not motivated to study.
• Living in a troubled neighborhood can prevent punctuality.
• Kids may fall asleep in public transport and pass their stop.
• If a child is inattentive in the morning, they may forget to get out of the house in time.
• Caring for pets before school can be a reason for students to be late. 
• Some are exhausted and sleep through their alarms.
• If something around the house needs repair, students may fail to arrive at school on time.
• Going to bed late at night makes it difficult to get up in the morning.
• Forgetting their belongings at home may cause students to go back to collect them.
• An essay on being late to school might want to look at mental health problems as a cause for lateness.
• Some might be negatively influenced by their peers.
• Many students spend too much time getting ready in the morning.
• Noisy neighbors can cause sleep problems or even make one miss one’s alarm.
• Family problems often affect children’s capability to be organized and punctual.
• Many school kids like buying coffee before class and spend a lot of time in queues.
• Students might skip a class because they haven’t done their homework.
• For some people, it’s tough to keep track of time.
• Absence can be a result of caring for elders.
• Some may spend too much time preparing breakfast. 
• Some students’ parents distract them instead of helping to get ready for school.

You can discuss one of these reasons in your essay about tardiness and propose what can be done:

Students who live too far away should inform their teachers beforehand that they can be late.

Lateness and Academic Performance

Alternatively, you can focus on the impacts of tardiness on studying. Explain the effects of poor attendance in an essay: write about one of the following points.

• During the first hours in the morning, students are the most attentive.
• The first few minutes of class often cover essential information.
• If you are often late, your tardiness can become chronic, which can affect your academic performance .
• Tardiness causes behavioral problems and can lead to suspension.
• Lateness makes you distracted and less attentive.
• A significant disadvantage of being late is possible conflicts with teachers. 
• Students who are late have problems with keeping accurate records.
• The ability to follow the instructions is reduced in tardy learners.
• Students that often arrive late can miss out on important tests or exams.
• Lateness increases academic stress .
• Being tardy increases the school workload at home.
• One pupil’s lateness can disrupt the whole class.
• Tardiness negatively affects one’s reputation.
• Lateness usually makes learners feel disconnected from school.
• Tardiness can result in dropouts.
• Teachers often decide to keep late students out of class.

• Learners who are always late might have a harder time getting teachers’ help and support.
• At worst, chronic tardiness can delay the graduation of affected students.
• The stress that comes with being late to class can impact learners’ concentration.
• Teachers may want to check late students’ homework more thoroughly.
• Tardy pupils may be assigned extra tasks or tests.
• Tardy students may have to report to the principal. 
• An instructor is less likely to grant you automatic A or other favors if you’re chronically late.
• Tardiness can start a snowball effect with many unintended adverse consequences.
• In a lesson with group projects, late teenagers disappoint their classmates. 
• Chronic lateness in middle school may lead to problems in high school.
• Late students may not be admitted to exams .
• Tardy students might find it challenging to keep up with the education process.
• Tardiness decreases motivation to study .
• Some teachers punish late students by deliberately lowering their grades.
• Pupils who are not punctual are unlikely to get school awards and prizes.
• Continually tardy learners are likely to be detained after school.
• Parents might want to punish their chronically late children by making them to do additional work.  
• Classmates will consider their tardy peers last when they need to select partners for group projects.

You can also discuss how tardy students affect the activity of the whole class:

Students who are late for school cause teachers to interrupt their lessons. They take other students’ attention away from the teacher and can sometimes disrupt discipline in class.

Reasons for Being Punctual

Naturally, every student needs to learn how to manage time properly . So, why not write an essay about the importance of being punctual? Here are some topic examples:

• Punctuality makes you more disciplined.
• Punctuality means not only getting to school on time but also never missing your deadlines.
• Punctual students perform better in academics.
• Punctuality makes your thoughts more precise and your mind more stable.
• Punctual students won’t get in trouble or detention due to lateness.
• Punctuality characterizes a confident person who is realistic about how long their actions take.
• If you’re always on time, you rarely miss crucial information and can learn more skills.
• Another reason why not being late is beneficial is that you can perform more tasks during the day.
• By being punctual, one shows respect for other people and oneself.
• People have more confidence in those who are always on time.
• It isn’t easy to follow one’s schedule without being punctual. 
• You don’t need to apologize if you’re not late.
• Punctuality saves time and reduces stress.
• A punctual person does not have to cancel plans because of their lateness.
• For a punctual person, it’s easier to multitask.
• You are less likely to have problems with teachers or classmates.
• Punctuality is a valuable skill in all spheres of life.
• Punctuality leaves you more time to enjoy your hobbies and relax. 
• Punctual students are considered reliable.
• An argumentative paper could demonstrate that there are simply no disadvantages to always being on time.
• Punctual kids don’t force teachers to interrupt lessons and have fewer conflicts with them.
• Punctual students are more organized.
• Timeliness helps students to build confidence .
• Punctuality goes hand in hand with professionalism and attention to detail.
• It’s less awkward to wait for someone than have someone else wait for you.
• Precise scheduling teaches learners how to manage time and prioritize things.  
• You don’t come off as disrespectful or arrogant.
• A punctual person has their life under control.
• Punctual students worry less about making mistakes. 
• Others don’t make fun of people who avoid being late.
• Punctual people are usually treated with respect.
• Punctuality helps learners build their integrity .
• Always being on time makes you more likable.
• You’re comfortable with having some downtime if you’re punctual.
• Students’ punctuality increases their self-control. 

You can also try and find other reasons why being punctual is better than being tardy.

If you’re punctual, you have better relations with teachers, and you’re considered reliable.

How to Stop Being Late to School

Still haven’t found a good topic for your essay on being late to class? Try writing about how to avoid lateness!

• Calculate the best time for you to wake up, get ready, and leave the house.
• Keep track of how much time you spend on your morning routine.
• Learn to respect your teachers and fellow students.
• Think of how to reduce stress.
• Try going to bed and waking up earlier.
• Don’t be afraid to discuss your tardiness problem with teachers. 
• Leave the house as early as possible.
• Set several alarms without a snooze option.
• Think of the best way to get to school beforehand.
• Invite your friends to meet somewhere and go to school together.
• Make your alarm melody louder and more energetic.
• Start to follow the same sleep schedule every day.
• Prepare everything in the evening so that you don’t have to do it before school.
• Set alarms to know when it is time to go out, eat, or do homework. 
• Spend more time outside to reduce stress.
• Set your watch and clocks five or ten minutes ahead.
• Exercise more . Morning jogging is especially helpful for developing punctuality.
• Do your homework as early as possible.
• Organize your working space and make it comfortable.
• Plan your activities so that you can go to bed earlier.
• Spend less time on social networks or playing computer games .
• Remember that being late is disrespectful.
• Ask your parents to help you prepare for school quicker.
• Learn the schedule of the public transport you use.
• Avoid getting distracted on your way to school.
• Respect your own time and find ways to stay motivated.
• Remember that arriving too late often means missing out on important information.
• Don’t fall asleep on public transport on your way to school.
• Reward yourself when you arrive on time. 
• If you live far from your school, find a friend who has a car and could drive you.
• Have a nutritious breakfast that can be quickly prepared.
• Check your backpack before going out to make sure you didn’t forget anything.
• Ask your parents or siblings to wake you up if you sleep through the alarm.
• Try being punctual without rushing.
• Ask your parents to avoid distracting you in the morning.
• Don’t use your smartphone while having breakfast or getting ready to leave.

You can come up with your own tips as well!

Try to keep your things organized so that you can get ready more quickly.

Excuses for Being Late

You know how excuses for being late to school can sometimes be funny and make teachers question if you’re telling the truth. Yet, there are many valid reasons for a delay, which are helpful to know. Discussing why students failed to come on time may be interesting for an essay on being late to school. For example:

• Illness verified by a parent.
• Medical appointments.
• Problems in the family.
• Extreme weather conditions.
• Participation in community events.

There are many legitimate reasons for a student’s absence. Here’s how you can write about them in your essay:

Example: Students with ADHD are usually not punished when they’re late, but they’re encouraged to be more punctual next time.

Now you know everything you need to write a perfect paper! There is one more piece of advice we want to give you. Don’t forget about the deadline for submitting your essay on being late.

And thanks for reading the article! Send it to your peers who might find it useful.

🤔  Essays on Being Late FAQ

Students are often latecomers. Coming to class on time may seem unimportant. There is usually no serious punishment, which is one of the reasons why some students are always late.

The disadvantages are numerous. A latecomer attracts the unwanted attention of the audience and provokes negative reactions. Those who are late do not make a good impression. Coming late is bad in most aspects except for a few advantages like sleeping more.

An occasional late arrival doesn’t necessarily say anything about your personality. Everyone might have some bad days when things just don’t work out well. But always coming late (or often enough) says that you are irresponsible and have poor time-management skills.

Sometimes, students are asked to write an essay after they are late to class. The topic of that essay is simple: being late. It is a means of discipline to help students understand how bad it is to arrive late.

This might be interesting for you:

• Family Values Essay: How to Write, Essay Topics & Examples
• Essay about Cars: Tips, Ideas and Best Car Topics to Write about
• Smoking Essay: Writing about Students and Teens Smoking
• Subjective Essay: Example, How to Write and Topics
• How to Write an Opinion Essay: an Ultimate Guide + Examples

🔎  References

• Solve a Teaching Problem: Students Come to Class Late: Carnegie Mellon University
• 5 Ways to Stop Being Late to All of Your Classes: Study.com
• The Impact of Tardiness on School Success: Hailey Elementary
• The Role of Personality and Agencies of Socialization in Tardiness, Absenteeism and Academic Performance: Researchgate
• Cause and Effect Essays: EAP Foundation
• Narrative Essays: Purdue University
• Reflective Writing: Plymouth University
• 4 Habits of Punctual People: Fast Company
• This Is Why You’re Always on Time: Huffpost
• Student Truancy and Lateness: OECD iLibrary
• 9 Extremely Good Reasons You Should Never Be Late Again: Inc.com
• Best and Worst Excuses for Being Late to Work: The Balance Careers
• The Advantages of Being on Time vs. Being Late to School: Seattle PI
• Never Be Late Again: 15 Tips to Guarantee You’ll Always Be on Time: Entrepreneur
• How to Deal with a Teen Who Is Late for School Every Morning: Very Well Family
• Reducing Late Arrivals: Duquesne University
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An essay about Harriet Tubman is to focus on the biography and accomplishments of a famous American abolitionist and political activist of the 19th century. Harriet Tubman was born into slavery, escaped it herself, and helped others escape it. She changed many jobs throughout her lifetime, being a housekeeper, a...

What is a documented essay and what is the purpose of it? It is a type of academic writing where the author develops an opinion relying on secondary resources. A documented essay can be assigned in school or college. You should incorporate arguments and facts from outside sources into the...

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Fairies and evil spirits, noble kings and queens, beautiful princesses and brave princes, mysterious castles and abandoned huts somewhere in a thick a wood… This is all about fairy tales. Fairy tales are always associated with childhood. Fairy tales always remind us that love rules the world and the Good...

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I need a paper on globalization with 3 paragraphs. They need to answer these questions too 1.explain globalization in your own words in history 2.how does it effect travel 3. how does it effect popular cultures 4. how does it effect economy 5. how does it effect politics

This was very helpful. Thanks

Thanks for your guide to starting, developing and finishing essays on being late. Hope it will help me writing an outstanding essay!

Fabulous info on writing essays on being late! I really enjoy reading your posts! They are very efficacious!!! Thanks!

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My Biggest Mistake

One night recently, I was unable to sleep and so I turned on my lamp at around four a.m. and began to read — a back issue of THE SUN , as a matter of fact.

I’d been reading for nearly fifteen minutes when I heard a knock at my neighbor’s door. I couldn’t imagine he’d be having visitors this late and I felt a bit frightened. The knocking stopped, then came again, then stopped, then came again. My neighbor was obviously ignoring it and I figured it would soon proceed to my door, especially since my light was on. I was right.

Strangely, it was not a rude knock, even for four in the morning. It was sustained and insistent, yet respectful. Still, I was nervous.

“Who is it?” I barked, leaping from my bed.

A small voice said, “I know it’s late. . . .”

I snapped on the outside light and parted the little curtain at the top of my door to have a look at her. She was a young black woman with a ravaged face. She looked sad, not dangerous.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s late,” she repeated. “Uh, can you hear me?”

“Yes, I can hear you.”

“My four-month-old baby is having an asthma attack. I’ve been back and forth from the hospital all night. I need $19.95 for her medication. I can bring it right back to you in the morning. If you’re not here I’ll just slip it right under your door.” She was pleading, but forcing herself to be polite and contained.

I was confused. “Why don’t you go to the hospital?”

“I been back and forth from the hospital all night. They won’t take my welfare check. I can cash it in the morning, I’ll bring the money right back to you. I live just around the corner, I been in this neighborhood for twenty-five years. I promise I’ll bring it right back to you in the morning.”

“Where would you get medication this time of night?”

“There’s an all-night drugstore, corner of 19th and Broadway, ’cross the street from Capwell’s.”

My mind raced and I looked away for a minute. She looked familiar, possibly; I wasn’t sure. I’d had people come up to my door before with all kinds of cons to get money. (“See, I have this check for $10,000 but I need a few bucks to go cash it. . . .”) And anyway, surely no hospital would turn away a dying baby on account of money! (Asking around the next day, I discovered I was mistaken about this.) And I didn’t have twenty dollars. I had exactly fourteen dollars in my wallet, so if I was really going to believe and try to help this woman, I would have to drive her to the drugstore myself and make out a personal check and hope they’d take it. But I had a dense day in front of me and I knew I was already in trouble by being up so late.

All this flashed through my mind in a few moments. I was conscious of her watching my face through the glass window of the door, and I knew from experience that if you let con people see you thinking they act as if you’re already hooked and then they don’t let go without a big fight.

So I turned back to her directly and said, “Well, I don’t have any money on me right now.”

“OK, thank you,” she murmured and turned away quickly. I watched her scurry down the sidewalk, stooping slightly as if she wanted to huddle under herself from the dampness of the night.

I felt dazed. I began pacing up and down my room. Slowly it dawned on me that I believed her. But she must be gone by now. What could I do? Wish her luck.

I tried again to go to sleep and failed. Half an hour from the time she’d left my door, I got up and put on my clothes, went out to my car and drove around the block a few times looking for her. I didn’t find her. It occurred to me that there were probably more people than I ever imagined — many of them single mothers — who are alone enough in the world to have to knock on strangers’ doors in such emergencies.

I haven’t seen her since, though I keep an eye out for her in the neighborhood. I hope her baby is OK but I have no way of knowing. How I acted, or reacted, that night was not my biggest mistake, however.

My biggest mistake is the one I make over and over all the time: regretting and dwelling on past mistakes. Usually the mistakes I make hurt only me and no one else, and those are hard enough to let go of, learn from and forgive myself for. But a mistake of the magnitude I made that night can give rise to months of useless remorse if I don’t simply realize that I was blind, that I knew all along that I believed her and yet simultaneously didn’t know it, and that, hopefully, I will be capable of acting with more compassion next time around, whatever form “next time” will take. Hopefully I’ve learned something about the balance between “taking care of myself” (it’s important, no question about it) and listening to my heart when it is moved.

Marc Polonsky Berkeley, California

Mistake implies an action. One does something hurtful to another or to oneself; one behaves carelessly, foolishly, selfishly, cruelly. But behind all action is a state of being, and this part of a mistake is rarely confronted or even observed: the is that does, the being behind the doing, or the being that doing passes through. Most people make the same mistakes over and over all their lives because they don’t regard the doing as an integral act of the doer. They call it a mistake; they believe it wasn’t intended, or wasn’t indicative of who they really are. What is actually true is that it wasn’t indicative of the offending person’s idealized self-image.

So, to begin with, there are no mistakes — only a person’s reality expressing itself in an unguarded moment, a denied part of ourselves leaking out. If we were always unguarded, we would do almost nothing but “mistakes,” in that doing one’s real self is so often going to be at odds with society, which is the collective idealized self-images of the mass-persons, persons too significantly shaped from the outside.

Thus I can say with confidence that I’ve made no mistakes in my life, let alone big ones. My actions have many times revealed unpleasant and ugly things about me. I’ve been rude and selfish, surely; I’ve hurt people’s feelings with unkind remarks which I thoroughly intended to be unkind and to hurt; like all of us, I’ve behaved inelegantly, made faux pas , acted stupidly, carelessly, destructively. But it’s been me manifesting myself every last time of them.

Though I still may wince, I no longer despair for my “mistakes.” In forgiving myself, I am able to more clearly observe myself, and thus put my mistakes into the service of self-recognition. This is a religious exercise, a fertile soil to grow in. You feel the hands of higher development coming in to work on you.

Jim Ralston Petersburg, West Virginia

My biggest mistake was believing my mother when she said:

“Chocolate cake is not fattening. All it has in it are milk and eggs.”

“Are you reading again? Why don’t you do something useful?”

“Play dumb. Boys don’t marry smart girls.”

“Eat, eat.”

“Nice girls don’t like sex.”

“All men are animals.”

“Your mother should be the most important person in your life.”

“Unless you call your mother twice a day you will rot in hell. That’s a mother’s prayer.”

“If you insist that I’m the cause of your terrible guilt feelings I’ll kill myself. Then you won’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“It’s your choice. Either let me move in with you or I’ll hover over your house after I die, which, by the way, will be sooner than you think.”

Ma died last year at age ninety. No, we didn’t let her move in, and, no, she’s not hovering. At least I don’t think she is.

Barbara Mitchell Park Forest, Illinois

Several years back, chasing dreams of fame in Los Angeles, I attended a seminar for screenwriters. The main speaker was a film producer who had arranged for a television executive and a director to be there, too. I was early. I went in and showed my receipt to a plain-looking, casually dressed woman. I figured her for a volunteer helper. She crossed my name off the list; I went into the auditorium and spent twenty minutes reading until the program started. Imagine my surprise when the main speaker and host of the evening, The Producer, turned out to be the woman with the list. Had I known who she was, I would have taken the time to talk, which perhaps would have led to something. Instead, I had judged a person by her appearance and lowly function and dismissed her as a nobody.

But how can you ever know your biggest mistake? By the way it turns out? Nothing ever turns out — it just goes on. There are mistakes of omission, but there’s no way of knowing what might have happened farther along the line, had you done the thing you didn’t do. Mistakes of commission are a little easier to pin down, but you can still never be sure: an ostensible mistake may prove to be a blessing in disguise.

Pat Hartman Fort Collins, Colorado

I should have danced with Nan Zuckerman at the Sixth Grade Prom.

Sparrow Brooklyn, New York

“Nor will the candidates for my love (unless at most a very few) prove victorious. . . .” Walt Whitman, “Calamus”

In 1952, I was a junior in Woodrow Wilson High School, in Camden, New Jersey, where my family lived on Mickle Street and South 29th. Miss English was our English teacher and one day, when she was sick, we had a substitute teacher, James Law. I only met Mr. Law that one day, but my life was changed during the fifty minutes he taught Miss English’s class.

Mr. Law explained that he was unaware of exactly what Miss English wanted him to do, since she was so seldom absent from her classes. But, had any of us ever heard of the poet, who died right here in Camden, Walt Whitman? None of us had. I certainly hadn’t. My only interest at the time was football. A back injury in practice had made even that once-consuming interest a frustrating one. Mr. Law read us the poems of Walt Whitman.

Six years later, I was manager of the Eighth Street Bookshop, in the Village, in New York. The manager’s station was behind a plate-glass window with a nice view of the Village’s most popular street. One day I noticed a car roll up and park in the no-parking spot right in front of the store. It had Pennsylvania plates. Two men got out. One was James Law.

Mr. Law and his friend browsed around the bookshop. After an hour’s browsing, he came up to the register with his friend, who was buying a paperback copy of Crime and Punishment . I saw that the sale was rung up properly and turned to Mr. Law. “Aren’t you James Law?”

Mr. Law and his friend were astounded. “We don’t know a soul in New York! How do you know us? We just drove in from Chester, Pennsylvania.”

I told Mr. Law how I knew him. “That day changed my life. It was the way you read. The, well, conviction in your voice. The devastating beauty of what you read. I found Leaves of Grass . I read Whitman for myself.”

I told Mr. Law how my life had changed. I decided to go to college, to learn English and American Literature properly. Then I dropped out of Columbia, to write my own poetry, to work in the Eighth Street Bookshop. I gave him a copy of my poetry magazine, Pan , the first of many poetry magazines and poetry books to which I have dedicated my life, these past twenty-five years.

Mr. Law’s friend, his boss, was very impressed. James Law himself didn’t know what to say. “I guess I’ve been pretty lucky,” I concluded, “because of you. And how about you? What became of you after that one day substituting in our high school? I never saw you there again.”

Mr. Law answered, and he spoke very slowly and softly and hesitantly. Although the bookshop was quiet, I had to strain to hear him. “I gave up teaching,” he said. “I moved to Chester. I’m an insurance salesman.”

His friend confirmed all this.

“I decided I didn’t have the knack for teaching. It was very frustrating. I thought, I’m not really reaching anyone.”

Alan Brilliant Greensboro, North Carolina

This story originally appeared in The Mickle Street Review , which publishes stories relating to Walt Whitman.

— Ed.

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Also In This Issue

February 1986.

A Tacky Love Poem On Corny Old St. Valentine’s Day

The emshock letters, related selections.

Fear Of Rest

October 2003

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Sorry for Writing an Apology Letter

Admitting you’re wrong is hard. But writing an apology letter? Even harder. We’ll show you five easy steps that’ll make the process easier.

Five Steps To Writing an Effective Apology Letter:

• Acknowledge the mistake
• Take responsibility
• Apologize and express regret
• Offer a solution
• Assure that the mistake won’t occur again

Written Apology

Everyone makes mistakes. That’s just a fact of life. Some mistakes hurt people you care about or can cause trouble in a professional setting. A written apology gives you a chance to elaborately express your remorse. It’s perfect for those who have trouble saying what they’re thinking. Below, we’re going to go over five easy steps that’ll help you write the perfect apology letter.

Writing an Apology Letter in Five Steps

1. acknowledge the mistake.

After the greeting, don’t waste any time. Directly state that you’ve realized you’ve made a mistake. Briefly write what the mistake was and what you’re apologizing for, but be careful not to dwell.

2. Take responsibility

Once you’ve acknowledged the mistake, you can explain what happened and take responsibility. In other words, you admit that the mistake was your fault. State that you’ve recognized the impact the mistake has made. Be cautious not to make any excuses!

3. Apologize and express regret

After you’ve taken responsibility and acknowledged the impact of the mistake, apologize. Explain that you’re sorry for what occurred and that you feel remorseful. The most important thing is that you’re sincere.

4. Offer a solution

If the mistake you made had consequences, offer a solution. Explain how you’re going to rectify the problems the mistake brought forth. This shows the reader that you have put a lot of thought into resolving the issue.

5. Assure that it won’t happen again

All these steps lead up to you assuring the reader that you’ve learned from the mistake and that it won’t happen again. This can help rebuild the trust that may have been lost, and it also shows the writer has practiced self-reflection.  

Formal Apology Example

The main difference between a formal apology letter and a personal apology letter is the tone. A formal apology letter is one you may need to write in a professional setting, for example. In these, you’d avoid any personal details. Here’s an example of a formal apology letter:

Dear Mrs. Laroche,

I realize that the mistake I made resulted in a delayed shipment to one of our most important clients. The mistake was no one’s fault but my own. Unfortunately, when I was printing the labels, I did not notice the incorrect address. I sincerely apologize for the careless mistake. I realize that had we lost that client because of that error, it would’ve cost the company a fortune.

With the help of my supervisor, I’ve reached out to the affected client to offer a discount on future purchases. They were appreciative that we reached out to rectify the mistake. I assure you that from here on out, I’ll triple-check all printing labels before sending them out. I appreciate you taking the time to read this letter.

Beth Taylor

Personal Apology Example

If you’re writing an informal apology letting to a loved one, you may add a few details that are more intimate. Here’s an example of a personal apology letter:

Dear Samara,

I’m genuinely sorry I couldn’t make it to your daughter’s first birthday party. As her godmother, I know you expected me to be there not only to help you, but celebrate her. I should’ve known to take an earlier flight in case of delays. I know that she was sad that I was unable to make it and I’m very regretful. Please know that I’ll make it up to you both. I’ve bought us all tickets to visit Disney World together! This time, I’ll make sure to book the flight at least a day in advance to avoid any complications with delayed flights. Thanks for being understanding. I promise it won’t happen again.

The Best Apology Letter

The best apology letter is one in which you:

• Avoid making excuses.
• Don’t blame anyone else.
• Refrain from gaslighting or dismissing their emotions.

Other than that, if you’re writing an apology letter and really want your message to sound sincere, then it’s best to make sure you avoid spelling and grammar errors. LanguageTool can help you say sorry . This multilingual text editor will check for all types of errors to make sure your apology letter (or any other type of writing) is flawless.

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If a student accidentally submits the wrong file, do you give an automatic '0?'

I have a policy on my syllabus that states that if a student uploads a wrong, corrupt, or blank file for an assignment, then they will receive a '0.' I'm going through a grade dispute right now with a student (after I already submitted grades, of course!), and I keep wondering if the policy is too harsh. Do you email the student asking them to send you the correct file?

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writng tell a time when you did a mistake

IELTS essay writng tell a time when you did a mistake

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• ? One main idea per paragraph
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