how to love yourself essay

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Tips for crafting a compelling and authentic personal essay.

Writing an essay about yourself can be a daunting task, but when done right, it can be a powerful tool to showcase who you are and what makes you unique. Whether you’re applying for college, a scholarship, or a job, a well-crafted essay can help you stand out from the crowd and leave a lasting impression on the reader.

When writing a personal essay, it’s important to strike a balance between being informative and engaging. You want to provide the reader with insight into your background, experiences, and goals, while also keeping them interested and invested in your story. In this guide, we’ll walk you through the process of writing a compelling essay about yourself, from brainstorming ideas to polishing your final draft.

Essential Tips for Crafting

When crafting a compelling essay about yourself, it is important to think about your audience and what message you want to convey. Here are some essential tips to help you create an engaging and authentic essay:

A Powerful Personal Essay

Writing a powerful personal essay is a way to express your unique voice and share your personal experiences with the world. By weaving together your thoughts, emotions, and reflections, you can create a compelling narrative that resonates with your audience. To craft a powerful personal essay, start by reflecting on your own experiences and exploring the themes that matter to you. Pay attention to the details and emotions that make your story come alive. Be honest and vulnerable in your writing, as authenticity is key to connecting with your readers. Additionally, consider the structure of your essay and how you can effectively organize your thoughts to engage your audience from beginning to end. By following these tips and staying true to your voice, you can create a powerful personal essay that leaves a lasting impact on your readers.

Choose a Unique Aspect

When writing an essay about yourself, it’s important to focus on a unique aspect of your personality or experiences that sets you apart from others. This could be a specific skill, talent, or life experience that has had a significant impact on your life. By choosing a unique aspect to highlight, you can make your essay more compelling and memorable to the reader. It’s important to showcase what makes you different and showcase your individuality in a way that will capture the reader’s attention.

of Your Personality

When writing about your personality, it’s important to showcase your unique traits and qualities. Describe what sets you apart from others, whether it’s your creativity, resilience, sense of humor, or compassion. Use specific examples and anecdotes to illustrate these characteristics and provide insight into who you are as a person.

Highlight your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses – this shows self-awareness and honesty. Discuss how your personality has evolved over time and mention any experiences that have had a significant impact on shaping who you are today. Remember to be authentic and genuine in your portrayal of yourself as this will make your essay more compelling and engaging to the reader.

Reflect Deeply on

When writing an essay about yourself, it is crucial to take the time to reflect deeply on your life experiences, values, beliefs, and goals. Consider the events that have shaped you into the person you are today, both positive and negative. Think about your strengths and weaknesses, your passions and interests, and how they have influenced your decisions and actions. Reflecting on your personal journey will help you uncover meaningful insights that can make your essay more compelling and authentic.

Your Life Experiences

When it comes to writing an essay about yourself, one of the most compelling aspects to focus on is your life experiences. These experiences shape who you are and provide unique insights into your character. Reflect on significant moments, challenges you’ve overcome, or memorable events that have had a lasting impact on your life.

• Consider discussing pivotal moments that have influenced your beliefs and values.
• Share personal anecdotes that highlight your strengths and resilience.
• Explore how your life experiences have shaped your goals, aspirations, and ambitions.

By sharing your life experiences in your essay, you can showcase your individuality and demonstrate what sets you apart from others. Be genuine, reflective, and honest in recounting the events that have shaped your journey and contributed to the person you are today.

Create a Compelling

When crafting an essay about yourself, it is essential to create a compelling narrative that captures the attention of the reader from the very beginning. Start by brainstorming unique and engaging personal experiences or qualities that you want to highlight in your essay. Consider including vivid anecdotes, insightful reflections, and impactful moments that showcase your character and achievements. Remember to be authentic and sincere in your writing, as this will resonate with your audience and make your essay more relatable. By creating a compelling narrative, you can effectively communicate your story and leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Narrative Structure

The narrative structure is crucial when writing an essay about yourself. It helps to create a compelling and engaging story that showcases your unique qualities and experiences. Start by introducing the main theme or message you want to convey in your essay. Then, build a coherent storyline that highlights significant events or moments in your life. Use descriptive language and vivid details to bring your story to life and make it more relatable to the readers. Include a clear beginning, middle, and end to ensure that your essay follows a logical progression and captivates the audience throughout.

Emphasize the lessons you’ve learned from your experiences and how they have shaped your character and outlook on life. Connect these insights to your personal growth and development, demonstrating your resilience, determination, and self-awareness. End your essay on a reflective note, highlighting the impact of your journey on who you are today and what you aspire to achieve in the future. By following a strong narrative structure, you can craft a captivating essay that showcases your authenticity and leaves a lasting impression on the readers.

Highlight Your

When writing an essay about yourself, it is essential to highlight your unique qualities and experiences that set you apart from others. Consider including personal anecdotes, achievements, strengths, and challenges that have shaped your identity. Focus on showcasing your authenticity and individuality to make your essay compelling and engaging.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Being Yourself — The Importance of Self-love

The Importance of Self-love

• Categories: Being Yourself Believe in Myself Finding Yourself

About this sample

Words: 555 |

Updated: 11 December, 2023

Words: 555 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Works Cited

• Baumeister, R. F., & Campbell, J. D. (1999). The Psychology of Self-Esteem: A Revolutionary Approach to Self-Understanding that Launched a New Era in Modern Psychology. Jossey-Bass.
• Branden, N. (1994). The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field. Bantam Books.
• Chaudhary, H., & Kaur, P. (2015). Role of self-esteem in building healthy relationship among adolescents. Indian Journal of Positive Psychology, 6(2), 216-219.
• Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). The costly pursuit of self-esteem. Psychological Bulletin, 130(3), 392-414.
• Harter, S. (1999). The Construction of the Self: A Developmental Perspective. Guilford Press.
• Heatherton, T. F., & Polivy, J. (1991). Development and validation of a scale for measuring state self-esteem. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60(6), 895-910.
• McKay, M., Fanning, P., & Davis, M. (2007). Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem. New Harbinger Publications.
• Rosenberg, M. (1965). Society and the Adolescent Self-Image. Princeton University Press.
• Ruffin, J. (2016). Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform.
• Sowislo, J. F., & Orth, U. (2013). Does low self-esteem predict depression and anxiety? A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies. Psychological Bulletin, 139(1), 213-240.

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7 Ways to Practice Self-Love

Barbara is a writer and speaker who is passionate about mental health, overall wellness, and women's issues.

Ivy Kwong, LMFT, is a psychotherapist specializing in relationships, love and intimacy, trauma and codependency, and AAPI mental health.  

Marko Geber / Getty Images

What Is Self-Love?

How to practice self-love.

Having self-love involves having an appreciation and respect for yourself. That includes taking care of your physical and mental health. Although most people are busy, it's important to take time to nourish yourself and treat yourself with the love and kindness you deserve.

Self-love is having regard for our own well-being and contentment according to the American Psychological Association.

While self-care proponents suggest taking baths and getting massages, loving yourself goes much deeper than splurging once in a while on pleasures like these.

Self-love should be a daily activity in which you check in with yourself and treat yourself the way we treat loved ones.

The Brain and Behavior Research Foundation says that self-love comes from actions that support physical, psychological, and spiritual growth.

What Self-Love Is Not

Some critics think self-love is a modern concept and is merely self-indulgence. They view self-love as excessively focusing on yourself and akin to narcissism . But self-love is not about having a grandiose sense of self or being puffed up with self-importance. Self-love means taking care of your needs and recognizing that you have value.

The Importance of Self-Love

Your first relationship is with yourself and it’s the foundation of relationships with others. Loving yourself enables you to live in alignment with your values and to make healthy choices in your everyday decisions.  Confidence , self-respect, self-worth, and self-love are all interconnected. As we deepen in love for ourselves, we can deepen the love we share with others.

Sometimes it’s hard to assert yourself and think about your own needs. While it might be considerate to practice self-love here and there, it's important to make it a daily practice .

Here’s how to incorporate self-love into your lifestyle.

Prioritize Your Well-Being and Mental Health 

Your physical and mental health are directly correlated and how you feel physically can influence how you feel mentally and emotionally. When you begin loving and caring for your body, you’re directly and positively influencing your mental health, too.  Eating and sleeping well  is important in maintaining well-being and warding off illness. That means choosing healthy foods and getting adequate sleep every night.

Exercising regularly has a positive impact on your overall health as exercise decreases cortisol, the stress hormone, in your body.

Remember to give yourself time to take care of and value yourself. Struggling with mental health issues might require visiting a therapist, choosing online therapy , or turning to an app .

Embrace Self-Compassion

When you acknowledge your mistakes and accept your imperfections with kindness and without judgment, you exhibit  self-compassion . Dr. Kristin Neff’s widely accepted definition of self-compassion has three components:

• Self-kindness : feeling kindness toward ourselves rather than judgment, criticism, or shame
• Common humanity : recognizing we are part of a common humanity as everyone makes mistakes rather than viewing ourselves as isolated beings unworthy of love and belonging
• Mindfulness : viewing mistakes mindfully by having a perspective and not over-identifying with our failings

In a pilot study on self-compassion, scientists empirically tested the use of a writing intervention to determine if these self-compassion components influenced each other. Findings showed that the three components do mutually enhance each other.

Don’t Compare Yourself to Other People

When we are jealous of our friend’s promotion or feel we are lacking because we gained ten pounds while our neighbor is in great shape, it’s hard not to feel down. Social comparisons can cause stress. Comparison and competition may motivate you in ways that are helpful and not harmful. More often than not, they diminish us by causing stress, anxiety, guilt, and shame.

Social media has affected our mental health in not-so-great ways. We judge ourselves more harshly on a regular basis and don't feel good enough.  High social media use has been linked to depression.

Set Boundaries

Drawing the line helps with stress management . Sometimes you have to say 'no' at work or to your family to preserve your energy. One-sided relationships have unequal distribution of energy, control, and thoughtfulness. Recognize your needs and carve out time to be thoughtful about yourself by setting boundaries.

Forgive Yourself

Cultivate ways to stop self-loathing in any form. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes and find ways to heal. To incorporate self-love in your daily life, don’t ruminate over mistakes and regrets. Rather than blame yourself for things that were probably out of your control anyway, turn to self-forgiveness.

A recent study finds that greater forgiveness is linked to less stress and a decrease in mental health symptoms.

Surround Yourself With Supportive, Loving people

Having social support is vital. You could reach out to receive your  family’s love  for you but if those relationships are strained or they’re not in the picture, invest in relationships with your friends and community and allow yourself to receive care and support from them.

Let go of toxic, draining, and one-way friendships. The goal is to fortify yourself with healthy interactions and people who believe in you, champion you, and support you in becoming more of who you are and want to be, not less.

If you think you’re in love  but aren’t sure, remember that healthy relationships involve intimacy and deep emotional connection. Invest your time, energy, and care into platonic and romantic relationships that support, energize, and restore you.

Change a Negative Mindset

Positive thinking  doesn’t mean ignoring problems. It means choosing to have a positive outlook as an approach to life that includes gratitude and many possibilities. Maybe it’s time to seek support to process your anger and  release resentment and grudges , for example.

Holding onto and fixating on anger and hatred towards others can be damaging to our mental and emotional well-being and it can be an act of self-love and care to address it at the root cause.

Say kind things to yourself.  Positive affirmations  can boost your self-esteem and reduce your social fears. Remind yourself that you’re a kind person doing your best. Changing your perspective and focusing on things that you are grateful for and appreciative of can be immensely uplifting and is another way to practice self-love.

APA Dictionary of Psychology. Self-love .

The Brain and Behavior Research Foundation. Self-love and what it means .

Rudolph DL, McAuley E. Cortisol and affective responses to exercise .  J Sports Sci . 1998;16(2):121-128. doi:10.1080/026404198366830

Self-Compassion: Dr. Kristin Neff. Definition of self-compassion .

Dreisoerner A, Junker NM, van Dick R. The relationship among the components of self-compassion: a pilot study using a compassionate writing intervention to enhance self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness . J Happiness Stud. 2021;22(1):21-47.

Toussaint LL, Shields GS, Slavich GM. Forgiveness, Stress, and Health: a 5-Week Dynamic Parallel Process Study .  Ann Behav Med . 2016;50(5):727-735. doi:10.1007/s12160-016-9796-6

By Barbara Field Barbara is a writer and speaker who is passionate about mental health, overall wellness, and women's issues.

How to Love Yourself in 19 Ways (Even If You Don’t Know How)

Learn how to love yourself with this comprehensive list of habits, practical actions, and spiritual practices.

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The average self-love score is a 53 on a scale of 0-100, according to a massive, multi-country survey 1 https://www.thebodyshop.com/en-us/about-us/activism/self-love/self-love-index/a/a00043 . So, if you struggle to love yourself, you are certainly not alone!

In this guide, we will equip you with habits, practical actions, and spiritual practices to help you cultivate a loving relationship with yourself.

What is Self-Love?

Self-love is the feeling of acceptance when you look at and think about yourself. People with high self-love are usually confident, happy, and positive about themselves and their situation in life. They also tend to avoid people-pleasing and treat themselves with respect.

Why Is It Important to Love Yourself?

It’s important to learn how to love yourself because otherwise, you will never feel truly content, happy, and at peace.

Self-acceptance is a precursor to self-love. If you never accept who you are, then you will always be in a tussle with yourself. You’ll always feel tension that you should be different or better. When you look in the mirror (literally or introspectively), it will always feel like something is wrong and needs to be changed. But when you can truly rest in who you are, you can feel tremendous relief and peace.

And once you turn that acceptance into love, then you don’t just tolerate the person you see in the mirror; you embrace and celebrate them! This feeling makes life so much lighter and more enjoyable.

Science 2 https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/11/191125121005.htm supports this notion: feelings of being loved have been linked to feelings of well-being.

Think of what it feels like to love another person. A partner, friend, family member, or animal. You simply enjoy their essence and want them to succeed. You can also feel this way toward yourself! 

19 Tips To Love Yourself When You Don’t Know How

Most of us were never taught how to love ourselves. So, for many, this can feel like learning an entirely new skill. But like any skill, self-love is very learnable! Try out the tips below.

Loving-kindness Meditation

Another approach to finding self-love is through the Buddhist practice of metta , which translates to loving-kindness (although you don’t have to be Buddhist to practice this).

To offer loving-kindness to someone is kind of what it sounds like—sending loving feelings their way. I like to think of it as rooting for them.

Metta meditation is usually taught in five steps:

• Offer loving-kindness to yourself
• Offer loving-kindness to a dear person in your life
• Offer loving-kindness to a neutral person in your life
• Offer loving-kindness to someone who you find difficult
• Offer loving-kindness to all living beings

While step 1 is the most literal way to love yourself, all five steps will help open your heart to others and yourself. However, for some people, it may be beneficial to offer love to themselves first before expanding it to others.

For some, this practice might take effect right away. For others, the phrases may feel rote and mechanical at first. However, if you give it time, studies 3 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3176989/ do suggest that practicing loving-kindness meditation increases positive emotions, decreases negative emotions, and increases empathy.

Action Step: Try it out!

Many meditation teachers suggest using a mantra to offer metta. Here are some:

• May I be happy
• May I be strong
• May I be safe from negative thoughts
• May I be at peace

Try to close your eyes and say the affirmations several times to yourself, bringing your mind back to the mantra gently every time it gets distracted. Then, go through the other 4 steps.

If you’d like a guided version of this Meditation, here’s a good one from renowned Buddhist teacher and loving-kindness aficionado Sharon Salzberg:

Pick friends that raise you up.

One choice you can make to show yourself love is to select a social circle that gives you love and energy. These are the genuine, honest people in your life who will support you, even during the low times of your life.

We very rarely stop to take stock of who is closest to us.

Action Step: Fill in the blanks below:

I spend the most time with these 5 people:

I spend the most time thinking about these 5 people:

Now, take a look at those lists. Do you like them? Do these people give you energy or take energy from you?

Keep the people who bring you up. For those who weigh you down, can you create distance and bring more positive people into your life instead?

If you’re not sure how to meet new people, try one of these approaches:

• Join a social club on Meetup .
• Learn how to make friends as an adult .
• Find a group sport you love.
• Join a religious group.
• Write a pen pal .
• Learn to network online .
• Join People School to meet like-minded professionals.

If you are in the market for new friends, you might also want to brush up on your conversation skills. If that’s the case, check out this training to help you become a conversational wizard.

Communicate With Confidence

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Mirror exercise

Here’s an activity to shift your narrative around how you view your body.

Many of us experience some type of body dysmorphia. We might see pictures of friends and admire how beautiful and radiant they are. But when we see ourselves in the mirror, it’s almost like we’re looking at one of those “funhouse mirrors” that distort what we see.

To chip away at this narrative, try something else.

Try to look in the mirror and search for things you appreciate.

Action Step: Look in the mirror and state aloud 5 things you appreciate about your body.

It doesn’t have to be the biggest, most groundbreaking thing. It could simply be the cute freckle on your knee. The more you do this, the more you will habituate how you see yourself.

View yourself as a friend

So many of us have brutal self-talk. If someone plays a sport and makes a mistake, you might hear them shout at themself, “You idiot!” Or a creative person might make art and call it “crap.”

This type of self-talk is common.

But can you imagine if you talked to a friend like this? If you yelled at them for any tiny error they made and regularly called them an “idiot?” Or called their art “crappy?” You’d be fired from your friend duties right away!

One of the most powerful inner switches you can make is to treat yourself like a best friend. 

Good friends accept, support, and encourage each other.

Action Step: The next time you catch yourself beating yourself up, take a pause and ask, “What would a best friend say to me right now?” Then try to tell yourself just that!

Write yourself a love letter

This is a creative, sweet, and effective way to strengthen inner self-love dialogue.

Just as you might write a love letter to a partner or dear friend, try writing one to yourself.

You can even go the extra mile and glitter it up with markers and stickers and mail it to yourself.

Action Step: Get out paper, markers, and a pen and write a love letter to yourself. Try to include things you appreciate about yourself and things you are proud of.

Find a loving part of yourself

This is the ultimate tip in self-love. 

Find some part of yourself that can always tap into love, acceptance, and compassion. This part of you will probably feel wise and calm. The HeartMath Institute 4 https://www.heartmath.com/blog/health-and-wellness/what-is-heart-coherence/ is a group that has dedicated itself to scientifically studying human states of love, calm, and peace. They refer to self-love as a physiological state called “coherence.” 

This is a state of being that feels calm, grounded, and heartwarming. There are lots of ways to get into a state of self-love (or coherence). You can:

• Think of a beautiful place in nature where you feel totally at peace and grateful
• Reflect on a pleasant and heartwarming childhood memory
• Think about someone who you love most in life
• Conjur up a memory of a time when you felt loved and cared for
• Imagine the energy of happiness, love, and joy as an energy that is emanating from your heart

This state of being is always there, and if you slow down, you can always access it.

To live from a place of self-love is to find the part of you that can always offer love and spend as much time there as possible.

Action Step: If you’re not sure how to find this part of you, here is a beautiful meditation from the late spiritual teacher Ram Dass to help:

Positive journaling

On a similar note, here’s a journaling activity borrowed from Tony Robbins.

It operates on the idea that if you orient your attention and embodied experience toward positive emotions, then those feelings will grow.

Here’s what you do:

Action Step: Answer the following questions:

• What do I feel proud of in my life?
• What about that makes me feel proud?
• How does that feel in my body?
• What do I appreciate about myself?
• What about that do I appreciate?
• What do I feel joyful about in my life?
• What about that makes me feel joyful?

Feel free to riff off these prompts with other positive feelings.

Stop tolerating

If you feel short on self-love, you might create crummy life circumstances for yourself.

Maybe your apartment is a mess with a constant stack of dishes and fruitflies. Maybe you eat the same unsatisfying canned tuna every night.

But imagine you had a romantic partner who you loved deeply. If you were going to have them over for their birthday, what would you make your place look like? What would you do for dinner? You’d probably feel inspired to clean the place up, buy some flowers to put out, and cook a beautiful dinner.

That would be a devotional act of love to your partner.

And I’m sure you know where I’m going with this…

You can do the same thing for yourself!

Treat yourself like your own romantic partner who deserves beauty and nice things.

Action Step: What in your life are you tolerating?

If you were your own romantic partner, what changes might you make?

Reflect on your strengths

It can feel so nice to have your strengths acknowledged. And you can be the one to acknowledge them!

Being good at something helps propel you forward and gives you a sense of purpose.

Are you good at writing? Drawing? Board games ?

Dig deep and ask yourself this question:

What am I good at?

Action Step: See if you can come up with at least 5 answers to each of these questions:

I am good at _____.

I am great at _____.

I am amazing at _____.

Some people might resist acknowledging their strengths because it might feel rude or like they are bragging. But in this case, I’m giving you permission to celebrate your gifts!

Practice gratitude

Gratitude is one of the best practices for offering care to yourself.

Some days, it might feel hard to find things you are grateful for. But even on such days, you can be grateful simply for the gift of life!

Mel Robbins says in her TEDx talk that the chance of even being born is 1 in 400 trillion.

How amazing is that!?

To put 400,000,000,000,000 into perspective, here are some more odds:

• The odds of choking to death 5 https://www.statista.com/statistics/527321/deaths-due-to-choking-in-the-us/#:~:text=In%20the%20United%20States%2C%20the,from%20choking%20per%20100%2C000%20population.&text=Choking%20is%20also%20hazardous%20among%20young%20children. on a piece of food: 1 in 2,696.
• The odds of being struck by lightning 6 https://www.britannica.com/question/What-are-the-chances-of-being-struck-by-lightning#:~:text=The%20odds%20that%20one%20will,struck%20by%20lightning%20every%20year. at some point in your life are 1 in 15,300.
• The odds of winning the lottery 7 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lottery_mathematics#:~:text=If%20the%20six%20numbers%20on,in%2049%20chance%20of%20matching. : 1 in 13,983,816.

Putting your attention on the ways that you are lucky is a form of loving yourself.   

Action Step: Try writing out the following:

• 3 experiences from today you are grateful for
• 3 people in your life you are grateful for
• 3 personality traits of yours you are grateful for

Adopt the perspective that you have nothing to prove

Some folks struggle to offer themselves love because they feel like they need to prove something first. Either prove something to their parents, their peers, society, or themself. They need a certain amount of money or endless career growth before they feel worthy of love.

The only problem with this approach is: what if you never get there?

What if you never have enough money or you never feel successful enough? What if you can never “prove” your worth?

Usually, the reason people want to prove themself is so that they feel worthy.

But another perspective you can take is to bypass the “proving oneself” stage on the road to worthiness. What if you see yourself as worthy right now? You don’t have to do anything or impress anyone. You are worthy of love and respect just by being here and being you.

How would you spend your time, and what projects would you embark on if you had nothing to prove?

Action Step: Try journaling on these questions:

• What do I feel like I have to prove?
• Who do I feel like I have to prove myself to?
• What does that feel like?
• What does it feel like to imagine that I already had the approval I was seeking?

Break the habit of immediately saying “yes.”

“Sure, I’ll help you move this weekend!”

“Yes, I can meet you whenever works for you.”

“I’ll be there!”

If you say yes to every offer that comes your way, then you will build a life full of other people’s desires. 

But what about what you want?

When you set boundaries , it isn’t just about saying no to others; it’s a profound act of self-love. 

One way to offer yourself love is to say no to others, which gives you room to say yes to yourself. 

Setting boundaries also sub-communicates to yourself that you have self-worth and self-respect. Plus, it’s impossible to have healthy relationships without healthy boundaries.

Action Step: The next time someone asks something of you, don’t answer right away! Take five minutes to get very clear on if you are actually a “yes” to the request.

Recognize that self-love can be harder for marginalized groups

Self-love is a journey. And it’s one that can often be steeper for marginalized 1 https://www.thebodyshop.com/en-us/about-us/activism/self-love/self-love-index/a/a00043 or historically oppressed communities. You may have received subtle (or not-so-subtle) societal messaging that you aren’t valued or that you need to be different than you are.

This relentless messaging can tint your self-perception and embed deep-seated conditioning that’s hard to shake off. 

Acknowledging this struggle is a crucial step in consciously unlearning these biases and embracing a self-love that’s both healing and revolutionary.

Carve out some “you” time

In the relentless pace of life, carving out time for yourself is a necessity. Whether it’s a night, a weekend, or even a dedicated 10 minutes each day, this “you” time is a sanctuary for rejuvenation. 

It’s in these moments of solitude that you can reconnect with your inner self, rediscover your passions, and simply breathe.

Without time for yourself, you’re living on other people’s schedules and hooked onto their agenda.

Action Step: Can you schedule a weekend for yourself sometime in the next few months where you can do whatever you want?

If that’s too ambitious, how about a single day this month?

And if that feels too tough with your life circumstances, how about 10 minutes this week?

Straighten up your finances

Here is a practical and down-to-earth way to show yourself love. Get financially healthy! Financial health is an important part of self-care.

Of course, money won’t give you meaning. But if you are living in financial scarcity, the lack of money makes life a whole lot harder and more stressful.

According to PwC’s 2019 Financial Employee Wellness Survey 8 https://www.pwc.com/us/en/private-company-services/publications/assets/pwc-2019-employee-wellness-survey.pdf , 65% of women and 52% of men listed financial matters as the main cause of their stress.

Getting your finances in order is a way to reduce your stress. Wouldn’t removing some stress be a loving gift to yourself?  

If you’re a financial beginner, I recommend brushing up on these resources:

• Learn 61 ways to save money .
• Try a simple 3-fund portfolio .
• Learn to budget smart with You Need a Budget, or YNAB for short. 
• Or try one of these budgeting apps

Please note that we are NOT financial advisors, so take this advice at your own risk. 😉

Make sleep your night job

One way to show yourself love is by being kind to your body and letting it sleep as much as it wants to.

Did you know a lack of sleep can increase your risk of cancer 9 https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sleep/what-happens-to-your-body-when-you-lose-sleep , cause thinking issues, lead to weight gain, and even contribute to depression 10 https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/detecting-depression#1 ?

We’ve all had those days where we regret watching just one more episode of Gilmore Girls.

How would your boss like it if you showed up late to work every morning? I want you to respect your body and be on time for your sleep.

Turn your phone off, black out the lights, and unleash the lavender mist. Whatever it takes to be consistent!

Treat your sleep like a job.

Take the trip

If you feel short on self-love, you might talk yourself out of going for the things you really want in life.

Maybe it’s quitting your job or finally trying out piano. For many of us, it’s travel.

Many folks have a desire to try out a big trip, but it feels unattainable. Too far away. Too difficult. Or they think things like, “Psh, who am I to travel the world?”

But you can! And one way to offer true love to yourself is to give yourself permission to take risks and go for what you want!

When I left my comfortable home in Atlanta for the unfamiliar city of Shanghai, I had no idea I would:

• learn Mandarin
• love eating stinky tofu
• make lifelong friends around the globe
• or even meet my future husband

So when people say you’ll “find” yourself when you travel… I think there’s an opportunity to find MUCH more.

Misfortune (“I lost my flight ticket!”), bewilderment (“People live like THAT!?”), and general annoyance (“Not another fly!”) will likely happen.

Plus, by learning a new perspective in life through travel, you’ll gain a greater appreciation of life… and, hopefully, learn to love yourself even more!

So, if you haven’t been bit by the wander bug yet, ask yourself:

What’s the best thing that could happen?

Channel creativity

One way to support your self-love journey is to create.

Why? Imagine your body is a vessel that fills with energy.

If the energy isn’t released, that vessel eventually overfills and flows over. This excess energy often leads to negativity, anger, and self-hatred.

We need to avoid excess energy and find a way to channel it.

Now, this isn’t just a bunch of voodoo magic. There are studies 11 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2804629/ that show a relationship between having a creative outlet and mental and physical health.

My challenge for you is to find a way to create or express. It could be dancing, knitting, writing, or guitar. And if you already have an outlet, continue to do it! It doesn’t have to be an amazing feat; anything counts!

Here are some resources to get your creative juices flowing:

• Ultimate List of Hobbies for Adults
• How to Unleash Your Inner Creative Genius
• Our video below with Chase Jarvis on how to find your creative calling:

Seek out a therapist

Another option is to get some support on your journey of self-love and mental health.

Therapy is a powerful way to untangle your childhood conditioning and trauma and to find a clearer picture of who you are underneath.

If you’d like to take this route, Psychology Today is a great resource for finding a therapist in your area.

Takeaways on How to Love Yourself

Maybe we should all take the famous advice of Justin Bieber – love yourself. 

But remember, love is a journey.

No matter how fast you want to be loved, self-love grows slowly like a tree. Once you plant the roots and do any of the practices from this article, it takes time to see the roots blossom.

But once they do…

I promise you, the journey will be worth it.

Here are a few tips to remember:

• Find a loving part of yourself and return to it as often as possible
• View yourself as your own best friend, and treat yourself that way
• Take a few minutes to write down the things you are good at
• Pick friends who bring you up
• Carve out some ‘you’ time

And if you’d like some ideas on how to improve your confidence, you might appreciate this guide.

Article sources

Popular guides, 20 thoughts on “how to love yourself in 19 ways (even if you don’t know how)”.

This is one of the best. Yes I went through it all and then I realized that I’m “ok”. Yes I need to change and your pathway is the way.

Wow Vanessa and team you guys really put so much love and effort into everything you do like this amazing post! I’m a big fan after reading your book Captivate so I will continue reading you and enjoying everything you put out there for the world to be a better place. Thank you!

Thank you SO much for your kind and encouraging words, Melina! We are grateful for you! – Kensi | Science of People Team

I absolutely love this article Vanessa! It was so easy to understand and it will definitely be effective to people if they apply it to their life!

This message on self love has really opened my eye to how much I am a critical person to myself. I knew I didn’t love myself but I didn’t realize how deep it was until reading this. I am so thankful for this being full of love in how you shared your stories or transitioned from one topic to the other. I just couldn’t stop reading and I am actually really excited to get to know myself again and find the love I once had! Thank you Vanessa

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How to Love Yourself More

3. forgive yourself..

Posted November 29, 2021 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

• Why Relationships Matter
• Find counselling to strengthen relationships
• Research suggests that having positive feelings about yourself may be a crucial ingredient for happiness and success.
• Self-love can feel uncomfortable at first. Gradually easing into self-love strategies can help.
• Practicing self-compassion, loving kindness, forgiveness, and self-gratitude can help people learn to love themselves.

Have you ever struggled to love yourself? If so, you’re not alone. When we love ourselves, we have an appreciation for our own worth or value. We don’t need affirmation from others and we don’t need them to tell us that we are good enough, smart enough, attractive enough—we simply know. As a result, we tend to have higher levels of self-worth, self-esteem , and self-confidence .

When we don’t love ourselves we have more negative feelings and self-focused emotions. For example, we may feel:

• Driven (to prove ourselves to others)
• Guilty (Wegscheider-Cruse, 2012)

We might also compulsively use things that make us feel better in the short term but hurt us in the longer term (Wegscheider-Cruse, 2012). For example, we might use alcohol , drugs, sex , food, shopping, or workaholism to reduce our negative emotions.

Why Loving Yourself Is Important

If you don’t love yourself, you might be more critical of yourself. You might engage in behaviors like negative self-talk —for example, “I’m worthless,” “I could never succeed at this,” or “I’m not smart enough.” These thought patterns can generate feelings of anxiety , sadness , or hopelessness.

On the flip side, studies have shown that having positive feelings about yourself may be a crucial ingredient for happiness , success, and popularity (Crocker, & Knight, 2005). So self-love may be key to living a good life.

Luckily, self-love is something we can improve over time.

How to Love Yourself

Although increasing our self-esteem and learning to love ourselves is not the easiest thing to do, we do have the power to increase the number of positive feelings we have about ourselves. There are many science-backed strategies that you can use to start loving yourself more. But keep in mind that these may be hard at first. You may not feel comfortable treating yourself with the level of kindness and respect you deserve. So take your time and ease into self-love strategies slowly if you need to. Here are some ways to get started:

1. Be Self-Compassionate. Self-compassion involves being compassionate (showing sympathy and concern) towards yourself. According to self-compassion expert, Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion includes self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness (Neff, 2003).

2. Practice Loving Kindness Toward Yourself and Others. Loving-kindness meditation is a type of meditation that is used to help cultivate unconditional kind attitudes toward ourselves and others. It involves repeating phrases, such as “may you be happy” or “may you be free from suffering” toward specific others and yourself (Zeng et al., 2015). To start loving yourself more, focus especially on the part of the meditation that has you imagine love coming towards you.

3. Forgive Yourself . A study showed that adults who completed six weeks of forgiveness training reported lower stress , anger , and hurt than people who didn’t undergo the training (Harris, et al., 2006). They also felt more optimism immediately after the training and four months later.

​4. Practice Self- Gratitude . One type of gratitude involves feeling grateful for who we are and the things we’ve done. For example, we might tell ourselves "thanks" for taking care of our health. Or, we might give ourselves a pat on the back for making someone else smile. Or, we might be grateful for our cute cheeks, our calm demeanor, our ability to cook the best cookies. So, try taking a moment each day to notice the things about yourself that you’re grateful for.

5. Show Yourself That You Love Yourself. Taking actions to show ourselves that we love ourselves is super important. It’s just like if we were in a relationship. Our partner might say they love us, but if they don’t show us, then we might not believe them. So show yourself that “you love you.” You might do this by taking the afternoon off from work, buying yourself something that helps you achieve your goals , or standing up for yourself against a workplace bully . Any kind action you take that shows self-love can help you start to see that you love yourself.

Many of us struggle to just love ourselves for who really are. Luckily, we can do things to build up this love and create a life where we’re truly happy. Hopefully, these ideas will help you get started.

This post is also published by The Berkeley Well-Being Institute .

Facebook image: Rido/Shutterstock

​Crocker, J., & Knight, K. M. (2005). Contingencies of self-worth. Current directions in psychological science, 14(4), 200-203.

Harris, A. H., Luskin, F. M., Benisovich, S. V., Standard, S., Bruning, J., Evans, S., and Thoresen, C. (2006). Effects of a group forgiveness intervention on forgiveness, perceived stress and trait anger: A randomized trial. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 62(6), 715-733.

Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and identity, 2(3), 223-250.

Wegscheider-Cruse, S. (2012). Learning to love yourself: Finding your self-worth. Health Communications, Inc.

Zeng, X., Chiu, C. P., Wang, R., Oei, T. P., & Leung, F. Y. (2015). The effect of loving-kindness meditation on positive emotions: a meta-analytic review. Frontiers in psychology, 6, 1693.

Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. , is a consultant, writer, and expert on well-being technology.

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Essay on Love Yourself

Students are often asked to write an essay on Love Yourself in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Love Yourself

Understanding self-love.

Self-love is the act of appreciating oneself. It’s about accepting who you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses.

Why Love Yourself?

How to love yourself.

Start by accepting your flaws. Next, celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. Lastly, take care of your physical health, as it is linked to your mental wellbeing.

Remember, self-love is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, and practice.

250 Words Essay on Love Yourself

Introduction, understanding self-love.

Self-love is not merely about pampering oneself or being selfish; it is about acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses, understanding our emotions, and accepting our imperfections. It is the recognition that our worth is not defined by external validation but by our own self-perception.

The Importance of Self-Love

Self-love is the foundation of self-esteem and self-confidence. It enables us to establish healthy boundaries and relationships, make decisions that align with our well-being, and cultivate resilience against adversity. It acts as a shield, protecting us from negative influences and fostering a positive mindset.

Practicing Self-Love

Practicing self-love involves self-care, self-compassion, and self-acceptance. It requires us to prioritize our mental and physical health, forgive ourselves for our mistakes, and celebrate our achievements. It is an ongoing process of personal growth and self-improvement.

In conclusion, self-love is a powerful tool for personal development and mental health. It empowers us to live authentically, with integrity and respect for our own needs and desires. By loving ourselves, we not only enhance our own lives but also contribute positively to the world around us.

500 Words Essay on Love Yourself

The concept of self-love is not just a trendy buzzword, but a fundamental aspect of our mental and emotional wellbeing. As college students, we are often bombarded with academic pressures, social expectations, and the daunting task of defining our identities. Amidst these challenges, learning to love ourselves becomes an essential survival tool.

The Notion of Self-Love

Why self-love matters.

Developing a healthy relationship with oneself sets the tone for all other relationships. When we love ourselves, we set boundaries that prevent others from treating us poorly. Moreover, self-love fosters mental resilience, allowing us to bounce back from failures and disappointments. It cultivates an inner strength that helps us navigate the challenges of life with equanimity.

Self-Love and Mental Health

Self-love is a potent antidote to a range of mental health issues prevalent among college students. It can help mitigate stress, anxiety, and depression by promoting a positive self-image and boosting self-esteem. By cherishing ourselves, we can nurture our mental health, fostering a sense of inner peace and contentment.

Practicing self-love is not about being narcissistic or self-absorbed. It’s about acknowledging our needs and taking the time to meet them. This can be as simple as taking care of our physical health, setting aside time for relaxation, or pursuing hobbies that we enjoy. It also involves challenging negative self-talk and replacing it with positive affirmations.

Self-Love: A Journey, Not a Destination

It’s important to remember that self-love is a journey, not a destination. It’s a continuous process that requires regular practice and patience. There will be times when we falter, succumbing to self-doubt and criticism. However, it’s crucial to treat these moments as opportunities for growth rather than signs of failure.

In conclusion, self-love is a critical aspect of our overall wellbeing. As college students, it’s essential that we learn to value ourselves and cultivate a positive relationship with ourselves. By doing so, we can not only enhance our mental health but also improve our relationships with others. Remember, the journey to self-love begins with a single step: the decision to prioritize ourselves and our needs. It’s a journey well worth taking.

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

Happy studying!

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How to Love Yourself For Real, According to Therapists

By Amanda McCracken

How-to-love-yourself advice is ubiquitous these days. Step into your favorite local gift shop and you’ll likely find self-love manifesting candles topped with rose quartz, positive-affirmation card decks, and pillows embossed with Brene Brown self-compassion quotes. Scroll through Instagram or TikTok and you’ll probably encounter influencer types spouting self-love advice that often ignores the many complex reasons why someone might struggle with self-worth—a barrage of “you just have to love yourself” toxic positivity that was brilliantly (and hilariously) portrayed in the second episode of Euphoria season 2.

Self-love sells. Are we really buying it, though? Kat from Euphoria certainly isn’t, but while it may seem cheesy or oversimplified, most mental health professionals will tell you, in one way or another, that being kinder to and more accepting of yourself is important for both mental well-being and healthy relationships. However, a variety of factors (trauma, years of self-criticism, and systemic discrimination to name a few) can make this simple-sounding practice way more complicated—and much easier said than done.

Chances are, if you’ve clicked on this article, you could use some support in the self-compassion area. That’s why we consulted a few therapists who specialize in the topic. Read on for their practical tips on how to (actually) love yourself—no inspirational quotes required (but no shame if those help you, either).

1. Think of self-love as a practice, not a destination—and define it for yourself.

There is no finish line you cross when you officially love yourself. Self-love is neither constant nor permanent. It’s also not the same thing as being “in love” with yourself, so if the word “love” doesn’t feel right to you, consider working toward acceptance or neutrality. “We often define love in this fairytale sense where everything needs to be perfect and then apply that same pressure to self-love, which isn’t realistic,” Whitney Goodman, LMFT, author of Toxic Positivity : Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy , tells SELF. We don’t have to love everything about ourselves, and certain days will be easier than others. Just like with other long-term relationships, sometimes loving ourselves is “just commitment, perseverance, acceptance, or general neutrality,” licensed clinical psychologist Alexandra Solomon, PhD , assistant professor at Northwestern University and author of Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want , tells SELF. And don’t expect to cultivate new thought patterns overnight: Like any habit, accepting and being kinder to yourself takes practice.

2. Know that you don’t have to love your reality in order to love (or accept, or forgive) yourself.

Imagine your closest friends and family members who show up with love for you when you’re at your worst, least successful, insert-negative-adjective self. Now ask yourself if you’d treat yourself the same way. We love our friends and family despite their faults, but it’s so hard for many of us to love our faulty selves. “When we realize that perfection is not the prerequisite to being loved by other people or loving yourself, we can begin to practice self-acceptance and, maybe eventually, self-love,” Adia Gooden, PhD , a licensed clinical psychologist whose TED Talk on “unconditional self-worth” has been viewed nearly 1 million times, tells SELF.

But anyone who’s been weighed down by woulds, shoulds, and coulds knows that accepting your mistakes and imperfections can feel near impossible. “When I work with clients, I see the majority of their suffering coming from a longing for things to be different from how they are,” Goodman says. She uses a dialectical behavior therapy practice called “radical acceptance” to help people accept the reality of their lives while also having hope for the future.

This practice is rooted in the theory that to accept our imperfect selves, we must first acknowledge our reality. “What we resist persists,” Dr. Gooden says. In other words, if you deny what’s happening, you’re more likely to get stuck in negative self-talk (“It shouldn’t be this way” or “I shouldn’t have done that”). Conversely, if you practice acknowledging your reality in non-judgmental terms (“This is my situation” or “This is what happened”) you’ll be better able to accept and move past the things you can’t control. The word “accept” is key here—you don’t have to like what’s happening, Dr. Gooden emphasizes. For example, it’s okay and natural to feel disappointed that you didn’t get called back for a second interview, but accepting the facts of the situation (“They didn’t call me back and I’m disappointed”) can prevent you from feeling like you are a disappointment. The idea is to avoid getting stuck in a self-blame spiral by first validating your thoughts and feelings, and then practicing self-acceptance instead of repeatedly berating yourself for what you should’ve done differently (yes, even if you mispronounced the company’s name).

Self-forgiveness is another practice that can foster self-love and acceptance, Dr. Gooden says. Again, forgiving yourself is often much easier in theory than it is in practice, but one way she recommends letting yourself off the hook is to identify the wisdom you gained from a discouraging situation. If, for example, a relationship doesn’t work out, try not to be hard on yourself for the five months you invested in the other person or a way you acted that you’re not proud of. Instead, ask yourself what you learned during those months that might benefit you in the future. Self-love doesn’t mean we won’t make mistakes; it supports us in taking responsibility when we do something we’re not happy about so we can more easily move forward, Dr. Gooden says.

Also important to note: The process of learning to accept and/or forgive yourself may bring up deep sadness. “When you think about how much time you’ve spent beating yourself up, comparing yourself to others, or being convinced that you were bad or broken, there can be quite a bit of grief,” Dr. Solomon says. It’s normal and even healthy to grant yourself time to feel that loss, she says, so long as you eventually work on accepting whatever happened in the past so you can move forward—and embrace your future as an opportunity to live differently.

3. Challenge your negative mental narrative by sticking to the facts.

Buddhists explain suffering as two arrows. The first arrow is the unfortunate event that happened to us—a painful arrow outside of our control. The second arrow is the story we tell ourselves about that event—this suffering is self-inflicted. Self-love, Dr. Solomon says, means not shooting ourselves with that second arrow. The first arrow, for example, could be the fact that a loved one dies of COVID-19. The second arrow could be you telling yourself that they wouldn’t have died if you’d convinced them to go to the doctor sooner. Or it might be you telling yourself that you should have spent the holidays with them, despite the fact that they weren’t vaccinated. In other words, a situation can be emotionally painful, of course, but the story we tell ourselves about it is often the main source of our suffering. The good news is, we can work on not adding to our pain with this negative narrative, Dr. Solomon says.

By Erica Sloan

By Sara Coughlin

If, however, regrets or other negative thoughts start seeping in about a painful event, Goodman suggests we look at the facts. “Is there any evidence against these thoughts? Is there anything you can identify that makes things seem less bleak? You’re not denying reality, but instead pointing out all the things that exist at once,” Goodman says. So you got laid off from your job—does that mean you’re bad at what you do? Is there evidence that proves it had nothing to do with your performance? Or perhaps your performance at work has suffered due to challenges outside of your control. Or maybe you really weren’t great at your job because it was a bad match for your skills and strengths—but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. By identifying all the facts, you’re better able to recognize what you are and aren’t in control of—and to avoid letting a challenging event define your self-worth.

Another way to challenge our inner negative narrative is to ask ourselves where those thoughts are coming from, Dr. Gooden says. For example, maybe social media posts that trigger comparison can fuel negative self-talk. Consider those filtered Instagram pics from someone you haven’t seen since high school that make you feel your life pales in comparison to theirs or that you’re somehow less worthy. Dr. Gooden suggests asking yourself, “Where is that story coming from?” and “Is it actually true?” Those questions may help you realize that negative thoughts about yourself often aren’t facts, but results of cultural or childhood conditioning.

Sometimes we internalize the voice of a hyper-critical parent, for example, Dr. Solomon says: The mother with low self-esteem who berated herself when she made mistakes. Or the father who was quick to point out his perceived physical flaws. Breaking intergenerational patterns is hard to do but it can also be an empowering step in cultivating self-love. “It’s exciting to realize that negative patterns, like being severely critical of your body or abilities, can stop with you,” Dr. Solomon says.

Self-love isn’t about blaming our parents or caregivers. It’s possible that they did the best they could at the time they were raising you and you didn’t get what you needed when you were little. “We are not responsible for the ways in which we were hurt, misunderstood, or neglected by caregivers when we were children,” Dr. Solomon says. “But it is our responsibility, as adults, to address and adjust the coping strategies we developed to deal with that pain.” Again, learning to accept what happened in the past so you can move through it—maybe with a therapist , if you’re struggling on your own—can help you grow closer to self-love, she says.

4. Acknowledge that oppression and trauma can make self-love even more challenging. 

If you belong to a marginalized or historically oppressed group, you may internalize societal messages telling you you’re not valuable. And even if you don’t believe those messages about your particular group are true about you, says Dr. Gooden, there can be pressure to overperform in an attempt to disprove them. “Some people start to neglect their physical, emotional, and mental needs in the process of trying to prove, on an outward level, that they’re worthy and that they deserve respect,” she says.

It can also be harder for survivors of trauma, who often struggle with shame and self-blame, to believe they are worthy of love. With interpersonal trauma, like sexual assault or something else that violates boundaries, the implicit message is that you’re not worthy of respect. “It’s very common for survivors of trauma to internalize that message and think, There must be something wrong with me that this person did this to me,” Dr. Gooden says.

Working through oppression and trauma can be incredibly challenging on your own, which is why both Dr. Gooden and Dr. Solomon recommend unpacking these issues with a therapist, if you’re able—here’s some advice for finding a culturally competent therapist , as well as some tips for finding an affordable one . But trying to be kinder to our bodies can be one small step toward healing. “When we honor our bodies, we can shift our relationship with them away from judgment and acknowledge that they—and we—are worthy of love and care,” Dr. Gooden says. What does honoring your body look like? She recommends soothing self-care classics like taking a warm bath with essential oils or scented candles, or queueing up some of your favorite songs and dancing it out in your living room. But your body-centered kindness doesn’t have to look like that. Going for a walk , feeding yourself a delicious meal, or wearing comfortable pants, for example, might be more appealing to you.

5. Practice setting boundaries—in real life and online—to build self-worth.

Setting safe boundaries in relationships is an important step in cultivating self-love. Avoid giving your time and energy to people—parents, friends, or partners—who trigger feelings of unworthiness, Dr. Solomon advises. “Part of practicing self-love is not seeking water from an empty well,” she says. “I recommend making relational and sexual choices that center around pleasure, comfort, safety, and communication.” You might have to end a relationship with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself (a red flag in romantic relationships ), for example. And if you can’t necessarily stop all communication right away or at all (in the case of a demanding boss, say, or a critical parent), try practicing radical acceptance (as outlined above) and setting even small boundaries, Dr. Solomon says—like ending a phone conversation with a loved one who’s bringing you down, or not checking your work email after a certain time in the evening.

6. Remind yourself that loving—or at least accepting—yourself is a worthwhile pursuit.

As we mentioned earlier, social media influencers may make self-love seem superficial or even toxic (as in, using it as a way to avoid taking responsibility for one’s actions or attributing success to “self-love” instead of privilege). But loving yourself has the potential to profoundly impact your life if you define it as an acceptance of who you are and a commitment to personal growth. “Self-love isn’t navel-gazing and never contributing to the world. It’s actually the best foundation to have a loving, healthy partnership with someone else. It’s the best foundation to be a parent. It’s the best foundation to share your gifts as you work in the world,” Dr. Gooden says.

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Be Yourself Essay | An Essay On Embracing Your True Self and Love Yourself

December 30, 2021 by Prasanna

Be Yourself Essay: We were born with a secret; all of us have always been mired deep down in the ocean of our own internal storms, our thoughts carved into the whiteness of our souls. Each one of us takes their own path on their journey of self-discovery, but what lets us through is this emotional journey that sets the stage for who we have become right now, and it might never happen again. This essay outlines the reasons why you should be yourself and love yourself.

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How To Embrace Your True Self?

The future is bright for those who embrace their true self and are unafraid of a free market in which they can pursue their dreams with ease. Be curious about what’s happening in the world, practice mindfulness to be aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions. The reason we may not embrace our true selves is that life is dictated by societal norms. We were not living up to how the world wanted us to be. We weren’t fulfilled; it’s an empty feeling that isn’t filled with happiness. There is fear in not understanding who we are, or what our true potential is, so how do we embrace ourselves free from prejudice and expectations? There is one important step that everyone can take to be their best and most true selves every day.

Today, society thinks that it is important to be like everyone else and alter their true selves in order to fit into a certain “mold”. You should not be afraid of being “different” and embracing your true self. In the future, we will hopefully learn how to accept each other’s differences and embrace people from various cultures and backgrounds. Lastly, understand what is truly unique about you and start reflecting on questions like these:

• What would I be to others if I didn’t care about everything they say?
• What would I see and experience if I accepted the way I am?
• Am I here because of what I have achieved, or what I choose to achieve?
• Do I have the right to look back and call myself a good man or woman?
• What motivates me the most?

Being Yourself Is The Key To True Happiness

One of the most important things you can do in your life is to love yourself. Self-love is different from self-centered. In order to stay the person that you want to be throughout your entire journey, you have to be truly happy with who you are. When we are compassionate and loving towards ourselves, we are able to free ourselves from holding on to judgements about who we think we should be. We need to let go of that idea of having a particular image or desired outcome when it is actually up to us as individuals to define ourselves and run with it. We are learning to be who we want to be, in the way that we want.

In order for this movement of self-love to work in your favor, you need to genuinely love every part of you, right now. It does not make sense to hang on to what is no longer useful to you. Remember, you may have issues with forgetting who you are and what your priorities are at this moment in time, but we can take steps to fix this. Let’s start by loving from our heart, rather than making judgements about who we are or what our beliefs and behaviors are. This is the true apology for all the ‘dog eat dog’ behavior that many of us think is ‘okay’.

Finding Your True Identity And Purpose

Experiencing and educating oneself on the importance of finding one’s true self is no easy feat. However, in a world where our natural talents are stolen from us by technology and ever-changing lifestyles, it can feel like an uphill battle. Be yourself and love yourself for all of your endless potential. The future is bright for embracing your true self and discovering the people that surround you.

• Acknowledge your talent and unique worth –  When self-acceptance is received through the lens of confidence, other people are naturally drawn to the individual. We all have a unique set of skills and gifts that make us who we are, and it is so important to accept our beliefs and values every day. It can be tough to break out of society’s mold and remember your worth. It can be easy to abandon our standards of being a good person. Don’t let society beat us down, assess our abilities and motives with criticality, listen to your inner voice and lastly, respect yourself.
• Believe in yourself – This is a powerful quote that means you should have faith in your abilities and skills. It also means that you should have confidence in your decisions and the actions you take. We need to believe that all humans have limitless potential. All of us are beautiful, smart, strong and all-encompassing in our own unique way.
• Invest in yourself – This can be done through joining clubs, attending seminars, reading books, or just doing general self-reflection. It is important for people to invest in their needs because needs are often overlooked and not addressed.
• Reject any role models on social media who make you feel bad about yourself, because everyone is unique in their own way. It is okay to celebrate the people we idolize, but we also need to celebrate who we are at the same time.
• Find an activity you love and stick to it, but don’t do it to make yourself feel better, do it because it makes you happy and helps you figure out your limits and what makes you strong. It takes time to grow into yourself.

How To Act With Integrity And Improve Intellectually

The future may sound scary, especially for teenagers. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Everyone has a natural tendency to lose sight of themselves, their interests and what they have to offer; not because we’re not special, but because we’ve lost our purpose in life. We forget how much other people care about us and how much good we can really do as one single person while being humble and honest with ourselves.

Mental Health And Cognition

Mental health is often overlooked, but it may be one of the most important aspects of having a happy life. Embracing your true self can have profound effects on mental health that people often don’t expect. Instead of trying to please everyone else, focus on self-care, whether it’s changing what you eat or doing an exercise. Pursuing these habits may seem tough at first, but they will give you the feeling of satisfaction like nothing else ever will. When you have a healthy mindset, you can make even the most difficult things seem easy to accomplish.The main difference between self-improvement and mental health is not whether or not something can cause a problem; it’s whether or not that problem is worth the struggle. Fight for your interests, relationships and goals.

How To Stay Motivated During Difficult Times

Not only is it hard to stay motivated, but it can also be hard to keep up with what we need to do. This feeling of exhaustion and overwhelm can lead us to give up on our goals and put things off until later. The solution is realizing that this isn’t an uncommon experience. It’s totally normal for people to feel unmotivated at times, and there are ways we can work through these feelings so they don’t stop us from achieving our dreams. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark and ugly it seems.

How Do I Stop Belittling Myself?

This type of self-talk is called “self-criticism” and is a very common response to stress. One way to do that is by finding empowering thoughts in your life. For example, look at all the skills you have, or think about how much you have already accomplished in your life. Also, instead of focusing on changing your entire attitude about yourself, try to change one thing at a time. For instance, if you want to stop talking down to yourself, try listening to your thoughts and catch yourself saying something negative about yourself. If this happens, stop yourself and change the sentence in your head to something more positive.

Conclusion on Be Yourself Essay

We live in a world of uncertainty and change, but that doesn’t mean that we should be scared or give up hope. The future is what you make of it. And the more you take care and invest in yourself, the more satisfied and fulfilled you will be. And regardless of how our society evolves, it’s important to embrace and love your true self.

FAQ’s On Being Yourself

Question 1. What does it mean to be yourself?

Answer: It means to be happy, content, and excited about life. It means being present in the moment, not dwelling on the past or obsessing over the future. It means committing time to your passions and interests. It also means looking at what you have- not what you don’t have- and embracing your strengths and working on your weaknesses.

Question 2. Why is it important to be yourself?

Answer: One of the biggest things in life is to be yourself. We all have our own personality and quirks that make us unique individuals. Hence, it is important to be true to oneself.

Question 3. How can I be my own person?

Answer: You are born as a blank slate. As you grow up, you become the sum of all the experiences you have had. Your personality is shaped by everything that has happened to you, and it is up to you to decide what sort of person you want to be.

Question 4. Why is it so hard to be yourself?

Answer: Many people have a hard time being themselves because they are afraid of what other people think. They are afraid of being judged by their peers. When you are true to yourself, however, you feel liberated and alive. The amount of happiness that can be gained from doing this outweighs any judgment that may come your way.

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Learning to Love Myself

I am enough.

In all of my forms–daughter, sister, friend, writer, traveler, lover.

I am good enough.  I am talented enough.  I am confident.  I am kind.

I seek knowledge.  I show compassion.

I fail.  I get back up.  I am perfectly imperfect.

I know who I am and what I stand for.  I know what I need to change.

I don’t know it all.  I can never know it all.  I admit when I don’t know.

I know how to forgive.  I forgive myself.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”  -Mahatma Gandhi

Inspired by a book I bought for $0.99 earlier this summer, I decided it was time to start loving myself.

And not just in the superficial sense of self-love, like exercising regularly and watching less TV.  It was time to really, fully and wholly love myself–top to bottom, inside and out.

To love myself to the point of waking up every morning with a heart overflowing with gratitude for all I was blessed with in life.  To love myself unconditionally–quirks, flaws, occasional potty mouth and all.  To love myself the way I hoped for someone else to one day love me.  Fiercely, and unafraid to show it.

But this story didn’t start this summer; it’s been a long time in the making.

Well before I stumbled upon this little $0.99 book, maybe a year and a half prior, another pivotal moment in my self-love journey had taken place on a beach on the coast of Spain.  A moment whose weight I didn’t fully comprehend until much later.

It was a brisk summer night and the sand was cold; I was in the midst of a heart-to-heart with someone I’d only known a few days, as tends to happen when you travel.  We passed a small bottle of booze back and forth in an attempt to keep us warm.  Or numb.  Or both.

I don’t quite remember how it escalated to this, but I distinctly remember crying as I looked out over the inky black sea.

We were talking about relationships and why mine–past and present–never seemed to go so well.  I had trust issues, compounded by the fact that I had a proclivity for attracting the untrustworthy types.

And then a rather unexpected question was posed to me, a question that left me speechless for all the wrong reasons.  Again, my memory of this night is a bit fuzzy after all this time, but the question was something along the lines of:

“Are you happy with who you are?”

I couldn’t find the words to respond.  Not because I didn’t know the answer, but rather because I knew it instantly.

After a few suffocating moments of silence, the best I could do was shake my head “no” as more tears, now double the size, rolled down my face.

I didn’t like who I was or who I had been.  I most certainly didn’t love myself.  And it was in that moment I came to the crushing realization that it was all my fault .

It wasn’t for lack of trying.  I wanted to love myself–desperately, even.  But what I eventually came to understand was this:

When you’re making poor choices, choices that defy what you know in your heart to be right, you never will know self-love.

The months leading up to that moment in Spain had been particularly difficult for me.  I reached a truly low point in terms of my self-esteem, and it was all because of a series of choices I’d made–choices that I was not proud of, and did not reflect the kind of person I wanted to be.

And in that moment, those poor choices came rushing back to me all at once, swallowing me up in a tidal wave of shame and regret.  Sure, I might have cried first for my failed and failing relationships that night, but in the end, I cried hardest for the person I never allowed myself to become.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but a series of subconscious choices had just been made.

To start living up to my own potential.  To start making myself proud.  To start living my truth.

First Came Choices

Every day, we are choosing.  We may not choose our circumstances, but we choose how we react.  In fact, the only thing truly within our control is ourselves and our choices.  It’s all we have.

So even when other people hurt us, when our pain is the direct result of someone else’s choices, the choice is still ours whether we let that pain suffocate us, or if we let it go.  Move on.  Forgive.

For far too long, I felt the pain and emotional bruising from distant moments I should have long-since forgiven as sharply as if they had just happened yesterday.  For far too long, I held onto resentment, blaming others for my choices.

The choice to numb the pain with too much alcohol too often.  The choice to keep traveling when my body screamed to slow down.  The choice to spend undue time and emotional energy on relationships that weren’t meant for me.

I was all too aware of my faults, and for far too long, I had done nothing to correct them.  I was avoiding responsibility for the shitty outcomes of my poor choices which, as one of my favorite authors points out, wasn’t doing me any favors.

We all love to take responsibility for success and happiness…But taking responsibility for our problems is far more important, because that’s where real learning comes from.  That’s where real-life improvement comes from.  To simply blame others is only to hurt yourself.  -Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

That summer, a few months after that rude awakening on that beach on the coast of Spain, I knew my business needed to start supporting me financially or I would be up a shit creek (probably somewhere in the Serbian countryside) without a paddle.

And so I made the choice, over and over again, to put my work ahead of my own pleasure.

In hostels, I sat hunched over my laptop, surrounded by travelers hell bent on distracting me.  Other times, I purposely isolated myself.  I sat alone in the corner, or alone in my dorm room, or alone at the dining table in the middle of the afternoon when everyone else was out enjoying the beach.

Funnily enough, I still found plenty of time to enjoy myself, too.  But the best part of it all was the sense of pride that arose from finally making choices that aligned with what I wanted in my heart–for this thing called blogging to be my ticket to the life I’d been chasing for two years now, a life of freedom and being my own boss.

When I finally began making choices that I respected, my “luck” began to change.  Seemingly all at once, I signed four new client contracts.  For a brief moment, I could breathe again–I wouldn’t have to go crawling back to a “real” job just yet.

The positive changes that came out of that summer were all the reassurance I needed to know that I was on the right path, that I was inching ever closer to living my truth, to knowing myself, and ultimately loving myself.

Then Came Growth

As time wore on, personal development became my addiction.  I dedicated late nights and early mornings to my work.  In my leisure time, I read self-help books.

Much like the early lessons, the new lessons I was learning didn’t always register right away.  I had to chew on them for awhile to release the subtleties, the nuances, the complexities.

But all the while, I could feel myself changing.  I could feel myself growing more aware of who I was, how I acted, even what my heart wanted (some might call that “intuition”)–and that awareness allowed me to make better choices and know when to alter my course.

This summer, I bought that little $0.99 book.  I bought the Kindle version, except I don’t actually have a Kindle, so I read it on my phone using the Kindle app.  I read it every night as I laid in bed, this time on a Spanish island.

That book was called Choose Yourself , and it was written by a man named James Altucher.

You may not have heard of ol’ James, but he has founded many companies and made millions.  Some self-help guru, right?

But of course, as it always goes, there’s much more to this story.  James also lost millions.  Sunk businesses.  Destroyed relationships.  Lost his home.  Went through a divorce.

Of the 20 companies he founded, 18 of them were failures.  In 2008, at his lowest of lows and in the midst of the worst economic depression since the 1930s–with no job, no friends, and no money–he nearly lost the will to live.

His life insurance policy worth $4 million suddenly seemed like the best chance for his kids to have a decent life.

“There is no way out.  There is no way out .  I kept repeating it in my head.  I felt like I could will myself to death with those words.  But I couldn’t.  I had kids.  I had to get better.   I had to .”  -James Altucher, Choose Yourself

Feeling someone else’s pain, even through the vast distances of space and time, always helps put our own pain into perspective.  It doesn’t diminish it or make it any less real, but it helps us to realize that if someone can be pushed to such extremes and still find the power to choose themselves , well, so can we.

James developed what he referred to as “The Daily Practice” which centered around taking care of himself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  He was putting himself first, choosing himself in every way.

That month I spent living in a shared apartment on a Spanish island became my dedicated month of self-care.  I took James’s words to heart and began choosing myself in every way.

I curbed my wine consumption.  I put myself to bed early and woke up early.  I reintroduced regular exercise into my routine.  I practiced gratitude daily.

I found my way back to yoga, which has been perhaps the most transformative practice of all.

The very first intention I set on that very first day was the very thing that drew me back to the mat in the first place: to know myself.

One major difference between this new undertaking and my casual yoga habit of days past is that I no longer regarded it as a fitness tool.  Breaking free from that old assumption (and the desire to look good in yoga pants) allowed me to see yoga for what it really was: a powerful vehicle for self-exploration.

For me, it is the ultimate display of self-love, showing up on my mat for a moment of mindfulness.  A great butt and toned tummy–should they appear one day–would simply be a side effect of choosing myself.

And my god, it felt so good to choose myself for once.  And that month of self-care?  It’s been extended indefinitely.

Good choices beget good choices, as it turns out, and what started as a painful personal challenge on a beach on the coast of Spain has now become something of a habit.

That’s not to say that life is fine and dandy as a result or that I don’t still experience deep pain.  I endure bouts of crushing self-doubt on a near-daily basis.  I torment myself with “what ifs” that have no right to take up headspace.  I still sometimes wonder–and maybe I always will– what if this all comes crashing down tomorrow?

But self-love is a process, one that will never be truly complete.  There will always be more I could improve, more I can learn, more kindness I can show to myself and others.

And in the vein of extending that kindness to myself, I constantly need reminding that yes, I am deeply flawed in many ways, but that is what makes me human, and I deserve love anyway.

I am still on the path to loving myself and to knowing and living my truth.  I can say in all honesty that I love myself now more than ever, and I know I will come to love myself more deeply in the future.

What’s most important, however, no matter where I am in the process of self-love is to remember…

I am enough .

Are you ready to embark on your own journey to self-love? Download my FREE Self-Love Daily Practice and begin repairing your relationship with yourself today.

This post contains affiliate links.

acceptance Choose Yourself James Altucher Mark Manson personal development personal growth self-love The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck yoga

• By Leah Davis
• October 23, 2016 May 31, 2019

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“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia 

You mean I am a source of many wonderful things?

Yes. Actually you are. Own up to it.

Leo has it right.

Love yourself.

Despite all the things that you think may be terribly wrong with you, love yourself . Love yourself.

Tattoo it on your brain.

I can think of so many reasons why you should love yourself, but here’s just one: It is incredibly dull and uninspiring to be around people who do not love themselves.

I spent many years being anorexic and feeling like I was a monster. I’m sure I was not much fun to be around, and I also know that I didn’t book any of the acting jobs I was trying to land. It is very challenging to hire someone or love someone who fights you by holding up a mirror of hatred toward themselves.

Here’s my challenge for you today: Take a picture of your face and remember that in ten years time you will be amazed at how gorgeous you were. Be amazed now.

Identify something about you that you may not adore and find a way to at least laugh at it or like it, even a little bit.

I have profound hearing loss; in fact, I am almost deaf and wear hearing aids. I have ringing in my ears twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Does it drive me mad most days? Yes. However, it’s here to stay, and I have learned that I can make light of it, or I can sit home and feel sorry for myself because I am missing out on what feels like everything.

Either way, the choice is mine to make.

I have also learned that because of my hearing loss, my other senses are highly attuned. I am more compassionate because of it. I am a healer.

I have turned something I don’t necessarily “love” having into another piece in the puzzle of me, and part of why I love that puzzle.

Instead of thinking “I am an incomplete human being because I can’t hear perfectly,” I think “I am an incredible human being with a profound sense of touch and understanding and a huge capacity for love. I am also awesome at reading lips. So there.”

What can you love about yourself today that you may have struggled with before?

Can you find a way to cultivate the opposite? According to Pantajali’s Yoga Sutra 2.33, “When the mind is disturbed by improper thoughts constant pondering over the opposites is the remedy.”

Forgive yourself.

I lead a meditation in my workshops on forgiveness, and every time, without fail, people start crying. Almost everyone in the room will have at least shed a tear. This leads me to believe that we are all indeed connected, a union—which is what the word Yoga means.

The human experience is so similar, and yes, I know the details are vastly different, and that the devil lies in the details, but we still share the same weight on our shoulders. That weight would be diminished if we chose to forgive instead of harboring guilt or anger.

People cry most in my workshops when we do the meditation on forgiving yourself . Most likely it’s because we are hardest on ourselves.

What can you forgive yourself for today?

I forgive myself for saying “I hate you” to my father right before he died when I was eight years old. I carried it around for many years and let it color my life a dark airless color.

I forgive myself for not being perfect .

This shift occurred was when I was finally able to let go of my eating disorder. We often hold ourselves to impossible standards and end up feeling bad.

Ask yourself honestly, “What can I forgive myself for?”

Sometimes it takes simply saying it aloud or writing it down to realize that you actually no longer need to bear the brunt of it.

Be good to yourself.

Do things that you inspire you daily. Make a list. Grab your iPad or your notepad or even your hand and draw up a list of things you can do today to make you feel good.

Keep adding to the list. Forgive yourself if you skip a couple and love yourself no matter how long or short the list is and how much you accomplish on it.

You will not be graded or tested on this list.

My list involves a lot of laughing.  My “Feel Good” list also has: my yoga practice, teaching yoga classes, writing, a long leisurely dinner with friends, having a great glass of wine, staying up all night reading a book I cannot put down, being with kids who have special needs and teaching them yoga, poetry, Modern Family, skyping with my nephews, and the list goes on.

Do something every single day that makes you feel good , whether it is changing your thought patterns or taking a bath while reading a magazine in the tub.

Maybe it’s getting an extra hour of sleep or staying up late and watching Pretty Woman for the 50 th time.

Pleasure and joy are highly underrated and beating ourselves, up highly overrated. Flip it! Cultivate the opposite.

One of my main rules as a yoga teacher is that if you fall, you must laugh and take down your neighbor, which cultivates a sense of humor, and hopefully a little joy. You need at least a little joy daily. Sprinkle it on your cereal, slip it in your downward facing dog, add it to your pinot noir.

Accept that you are indeed the source of many wonderful things. If you need help remembering what they are from time to time, keep making your feel good lists. Keep coming back to the love that is inherently yours. It is your birthright. And so it is.

Whatever it takes. Just do it.

A student told me after she returned from my July Ojai retreat that she wanted to live her life every day as if she was still on the retreat. And why shouldn’t she? What a revelation! What a revolution of the mind.  

Be good to yourself. You will train other people to do the same.

And guess what? If they aren’t good to you, you will still have your old standby who is always good to you: YOU. Pretty much what matters most at the end of the day. You being good to you. The rest will follow.

Remember the 90’s En Vogue song, with the lyrics “Free your mind, the rest will follow”?

It will. So get up and dance.

About Jennifer Pastiloff

Jen is the founder of Manifestation Yoga . She teaches yoga all over. Find her on Twitter and Facebook . She also started GAME Yoga. Gifts And Miracles Everyday: Free Yoga for Kids w/ Special Needs .

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Home Essay Samples Life Myself

How I Learned to Love Myself

Table of contents, the genesis of self-reflection, celebrating uniqueness, forging a compassionate connection, shattering the illusion of perfection, a journey of continuous growth, conclusion: an ongoing odyssey.

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How to love yourself to the core, according to experts

Loving yourself is easier said than done, we know. But not only is the practice important, it's life-changing.

“Self-love is important because it sets the tone for how you show up in all other relationships,” Dr. Sabrina Romanoff , a licensed psychologist in New York City, told TODAY. “You can’t truly love other people until you love yourself. While on the surface you could create the illusion of loving others without loving yourself, but those relationships tend to be full of resentment, lack of depth and disconnection because you typically are giving something out to others that you are withholding from yourself.” 

Emily Simonian-Sotiriadis, LMFT, a therapist in private practice, similarly believes that self-love provides a solid foundation for us to thrive in every facet of our lives. “When we have positive feelings about ourselves, we’re better able to accept our own imperfections and give ourselves grace, resulting in a sense of resilience and empowerment,” she says. “Sometimes a lack of self-love occurs because we are trying to improve ourselves, and it may seem counterintuitive, but self-improvement will be easier if you love yourself first.”

Simonian-Sotiriadis also posits that people have been conditioned to believe that they can only love themselves once they’re doing everything “right” (e.g. getting the best grades in school, meeting their goal weight, landing a dream job), but it’s actually the opposite. “Loving yourself can and should happen even when you’re at what you feel is your ‘worst,’” she says. “People are happier and end up being more successful when they hold a core belief that they are lovable just as they are, regardless of their attributes or accolades,” added Simonian-Sotiriadis.

What happens when you don’t practice self-love? Romanoff warns that anything you give to others can feel like you’re pouring from an empty cup and often places a heavy strain on relationships and your ability to connect with others. Thankfully, with some guiding principles and dedication, the path to enhanced self-love is yours for the paving.

Whether you want to be happier on your own , be a better friend or partner , or simply stop being so hard on yourself, here are expert-approved strategies on how to love yourself — for real.

Self-Love Strategies

Quiet your inner critic  .

Easier said than done, we know. But it’s one of the biggest steps you can take to improve the quality of your life.

“If your inner dialogue is dominated by a loud critical voice then it will be hard to love and accept yourself as fully as you could,” David Klow , LMFT, founder of Skylight Counseling Center in Chicago and author of "Inspiration For The Weary Therapist: A Practical Clinical Companion," told TODAY. “Rather than judging or beating yourself up for being human, if you develop a practice of being gentle with your own thoughts and feelings then you are more capable of being kind and gentle with others.” 

If a negative thought about yourself surfaces, try to separate fact from fiction. Start by writing down three things that counteract the critical thought to squash it once and for all.

"When critical voices arise in our heads, we can simply observe them and through mindfulness begin to distinguish and distance ourselves from these thoughts versus trying to push them away," Blessing Uchendu, LCSW, owner of Freshwater Counseling & Consulting , told TODAY.

Take yourself on dates

“We love ourselves by forming a relationship with ourselves,” Uchendu says. When getting to know someone, either romantically or platonically, we take their feelings into account and make sure that “the things that matter to them, matter to us.” We don't, however, extend that same courtesy to ourselves.

Uchendu recommends carving out uninterrupted time to do things that that bring us joy, and protect this time as we would if we were meeting with another person. “For those who did not receive sufficient emotional care when growing up, this process can involve reparenting your inner child,” she says. “This is simply about attending to and honoring the younger, more emotional parts of ourselves that weren’t witnessed when we were young, and now as adults, we have the ability to provide what we didn’t receive.”

Be more intentional about taking care of yourself

“Often physical trainers emphasize the ‘mind body’ connection — which means to think about the muscle group while completing the exercise intended to target it,” offered Romanoff. The psychologist asserts that the same process should be applied to self-care, by actively thinking about taking care of yourself while completing the activity intended to show self-love. For instance, Romanoff suggested that instead of viciously ruminating during your massage worrying about all the things you have to do later that day or week, use the time to show your body love with your thoughts. In general, Romanoff maintains that you should work to associate the actions of self-care (e.g., getting a massage, drinking your favorite tea, lighting your favorite candle) with your appreciation and love for yourself.

During this time of growth, set aside time to rest and recharge. Uchendu suggests viewing yourself as "a human being, not simply a ‘human doing.’"

"While being productive is helpful and a necessary part of leading a fulfilling life, pushing oneself constantly to do better and be better is antithetical to loving oneself,” she says. Create designated time for embracing a slower pace by taking lunch breaks, developing hobbies and daydreaming.

Practice gratitude

An attitude of gratitude can do wonders. “Remember to shift attentional resources from all that you lack or are not to all that you are able to do and are skilled at,” Romanoff says. “Fall in love with the life you created for yourself and the person you’ve worked so hard to become.”

Even better, researchers are finding that embracing gratitude can have an impact on your physical health, too. “Clinical trials indicate that the practice of gratitude can have dramatic and lasting effects in a person’s life,” Robert A. Emmons, professor of psychology at UC Davis, previously told TODAY . “It can lower blood pressure, improve immune function and facilitate more efficient sleep.”

Try dialectical thinking

According to Simonian-Sotiriadis, dialectical thinking is “seeing things from multiple perspectives, to improve your sense of psychological balance."

Really, it's all in the words. Use the word “and” to join two opposing thoughts or feelings you have. Some examples: “I don’t always love the way my body looks and I know I can also accept myself as I am” or “my son struggles in school and that doesn’t mean I’m a bad parent."

“This practice will help you move away from the idea that there is only one truth and instead accept that there are many subjective truths," Simonian-Sotiriadis says. Over time, this will create a deep sense of self-acceptance.

Seek out a licensed therapist  

While you can always turn to friends and family for guidance, therapists are a neutral, supportive party. “Therapists do not hold the same bias that you bring to your own experiences and perceptions," Romanoff says. You may even hear words from a therapist more clearly given the professional nature of your relationship.

“Folks often do not realize the extent to which they have internalized criticism and how it results in ingrained self-beliefs and automatic thoughts of denigration. Therapists can bring these programmed and often unconscious beliefs to the surface,” she says.

Stop idealizing others

It's time to stop putting other people on a pedestal. An easy solve: Limit or nix social media usage. “Remember that social media is an extreme version of the public persona or mask folks project, but only represents a sliver of the challenges, problems and difficulties that color individuals’ lives," Romanoff says.

In your own life, it’s easy to focus on the bad rather than celebrate the good. As a general rule, Romanoff says you shouldn’t let yourself be defined by your problems. “Rather, it is the evaluations about those problems and how they are dealt with that holds the key to self-love and overall functioning."

Live as if you love yourself every day  

Keep this notion from Simonian-Sotiriadis in your back pocket. “If you engage in one act of self-compassion daily, the results will be significant over time," she says. To do this, she recommends asking yourself how you normally show love to others: "Is it through positive words , for example? Then apply that to yourself. Maybe that means writing yourself a brief positive note every day."

While you're at it, Simonian-Sotiriadis recommends focusing on giving what you really want or need “because so often we deprive ourselves of those things out of guilt or because of rigid thinking.” For instance, let yourself enjoy dessert guilt-free or ask others for help without worrying about being a burden.

Create clear boundaries  

Establishing boundaries is one of the most valuable acts of self-care, but it varies from individual to individual.

“Boundaries might look like keeping some distance between you and a family member who is toxic and not allowing yourself to be guilt-tripped into spending time with them. Boundaries might also involve being clear with your limitations and not overcommitting as a way of expressing love towards yourself," Uchendu says.

Naturally, people are socialized to believe that their worth is in what they provide to others — even at the expense of themselves. “It is pretty revolutionary then, when as an act of love for themselves, someone might say ‘no’ to a request in order to honor their own need for rest,” she says.

Check in with yourself regularly

Romanoff says you can do this by creating a routine — like sitting with your coffee in the morning and taking inventory on how you are feeling, what you might need and what you could do to give it to yourself. “This is important because it creates the practice of becoming attuned to yourself, and with time you can more automatically consider how you’re feeling and steps you could take to better take care of yourself,” she says.

Own where you are

Remember: There’s only one you, which is why it's important to embrace yourself in your current state and not harp on your shortcomings. “If you are able to love and accept yourself, in all your humanness, inconsistency, and awkwardness, then you are more capable of loving and accepting others. It can be difficult to truly accept others when we judge and criticize ourselves,” Klow says.

Self-love is a subconscious thought before it even becomes a feeling, and feelings drive behavior. For that reason, Simonian-Sotiriadis recommends limiting thoughts that don’t contribute to grace, acceptance, or personal growth. “You first have to become aware of limiting thoughts, which are usually comparative, critical or apathetic toward yourself,” she says. Once you’re aware of these types of thoughts, Simonian-Sotiriadis urges individuals to find evidence that disproves their validity. Some examples of altered language include: “I have received feedback that I’m good at work presentations” versus "I'm not good at work presentations."

Label your emotions

Consider this a corollary to the above rule of thumb. “Acknowledge and validate your emotions, even the inconvenient or troublesome ones,” Romanoff says. “Each of your emotional reactions are valid and hold an important function by alerting you to what is needed."

Mindfulness and self-acceptance go hand in hand, according to Romanoff. It may be helpful to establish a daily meditation practice, even if it’s only for four minutes a day. Try apps like Simple Habit or Headspace, which can help hold you accountable and keep you engaged in making meditation part of your regular routine.

Adopt the motto “everyone deserves self-love”

Simonian-Sotiriadis urges clients to try to detach from the idea that love is transactional. “You don’t deserve to love yourself only when you are at your best. You deserve self-love no matter what, as a fundamental right that is as necessary as physiological needs like air, water, food, shelter, etc.,” she says. In fact, Simonian-Sotiriadis even points to the inclusion of love, belonging, self-esteem and self-actualization on American psychologist Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs , a famous pyramid model of human essentials, as “proof that self-love is a basic human necessity!”

Even more ways to love yourself

• This self-assessment will show you what kind of self-care you need
• 7 ways to accept and appreciate your body
• How to live a more self-compassionate life

Perri is a New York City-born-and-based writer. She holds a B.A. in psychology from Columbia University and is also a culinary school graduate of the Natural Gourmet Institute. She's probably seen Dave Matthews Band in your hometown, and she'll never turn down a bloody mary. Follow her on Twitter  @66PerriStreet  or learn more at  VeganWhenSober.com

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How to Love Yourself Essay Example

• Pages: 7 (1834 words)
• Published: October 1, 2017
• Type: Essay

Learning to love yourself isn't easy -- especially if you're a survivor of childhood abuse or neglect. But there are things you can do to boost your self-love. Ask for a list of things people like about you. Sometimes it can be hard to find things we like or love about ourselves.

So -- ask other people to tell you all the things they like about you. Ask a friend, a lover, a therapist. This isn't a replacement for your own love; it's a first step in learning to love yourself. You may need to hear the things other people like about you before you can value them in youself.If hearing what people like about you is hard, ask your friends to write it down for you, or leave it on your voice mail, so you can read/listen to it ov

er and over. Go back to it as many times as you can.

Even if you don't believe that someone can like a particular thing about you, or you don't believe it exists, trust that your friend does see it and value it. When you start to hear critical voices inside your head, go back to those things your friend said/wrote about you, and remember that you are loved. Make a list of the things you like about yourself. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself.Be as honest as you can.

Modesty doesn't help you here; neither do old critical messages. If you're having trouble finding things you value about yourself, think about the things you value and love in your friends, then see if those things exist inside you, too

Most often, they do. Fill a special notebook with your list, or create a set of cards.

Make the notebook as beautiful as you can -- make it something that makes you feel good when you look at it. Then open it up and look at it any time you're feeling down or critical about yourself, or any time anyone says anything that triggers your criticalness of yourself.Look at this good-things-about-yourself book as frequently as you can. It may seem silly, but repetition really does make a difference. (Just think of the impact one critical phrase said by a parent over and over to a child can have.

It really does have an effect! Now try to give that child inside you at least one truly loving phrase about yourself that he can hold on to. ) Make it part of your daily routine to praise something in yourself or think about something you like about yourself. In this society, we're taught that praising ourselves is selfish and wrong.But praising ourselves for things that are good about ourselves only helps us. It is a healing thing to do, something that nourishes our self-worth.

When we love ourselves, we're happier and more true to our own selves... and that happiness and ability to be free spreads to others. So.

.. try to think of something that you like about yourself, or something that you did today that made you or someone else feel good -- no matter how small it may seem. Give yourself the kind of warm praise that you would a friend.

Love yourself like a friend lose your eyes and think of a person

you deeply love and trust, and who you know loves you-- a friend, a lover. Think about all the things you love and appreciate about them. Notice how that love feels inside you, how it makes you feel good. Now turn it around the other way -- be your friend, feeling that same deep love for you. Trust in their love for you, and just feel it. Let yourself see your self through gentle eyes, with compassion and love the way your friend does, even if you can only do it for a moment.

Now let yourself receive that love, the love you have as a friend to yourself.Feel the warmth move through you. Remember how it feels, and come back to that love another time. Make a note every time someone says something nice about you.

Every time someone tells you something about yourself that makes you feel good, write it down or make a mental note and jot it down later. When you get home, put that note in a container of "good things about me. " Decorate the container however you like. Keep on adding notes, and read them over every time you need a little boost -- and even when you don't feel like you do. Have compassion for yourself.If you're feeling really judgemental about something you've done or said, try to understand where the judgement is coming from.

Not the immediate, surface answer, but an answer deep down inside you. Are you afraid of something, or are you feeling insecure? Do you think you did something "wrong," or are you hearing the judgement of a voice from your past? Try

to connect to that little kid inside of you who's feeling that way, and really listen to how he's feeling. Hug and reassure that kid, and let him know that he didn't do anything wrong, and that you love him.You can also think of a friend having acted as you did. Imagine how you'd feel towards them -- how you'd still love them and readily forgive them if there was anything to forgive.

You probably wouldn't even find it bothersome! Try to feel that same love and compassion for yourself. Recognize that the love has to come from you. If you're a survivor of child abuse or come from a dysfunctional family, you may still be waiting for a parent to give you the love and acceptance you never got as a child.But the kind of love you need (or needed as a child) probably isn't going to come from a parent who abused you or who looked the other way while you were being abused. But it can come from yourself. It can be hard to give it to yourself at first -- after all, if you didn't receive love as a child, or if some of that love was torn away from you by violence, self-hate may have built up inside you.

But you have the courage and strength to love yourself, if you've survived this long. And you do deserve it!So try to connect to that little child inside, that child who deserves all of your love and acceptance. Use Affirmations I know, I know, this sounds corny. But if you hear good things about yourself over and over, you can't help

but have some of it sink in. Write out strong, loving things to say to yourself, even if you don't fully believe them.

Some examples are: "I utterly and completely deserve love and kindness," "I am a very loveable person," "I am kind, compassionate, intelligent, and wise. " (or subsitute the words for loving words that you feel best suit you.Now put up those affirmations in places you'll see them every day -- on the fridge, on the bathroom mirror, on your bedside table, next to your favourite chair, on the kitchen wall next to where you cook your food or eat a meal. Don't forget to read them.

If you're not comfortable having them up in such public places, then write out a bunch of them (or copies of a few) and put them in places you'll find them -- in your jacket or jeans pocket, in a book you're reading or a favourite book, in your desk drawer, in with your clothes. They're little love notes to yourself.In fact, you may want to do both things -- have them up and also hidden in places where you'll find them. When you read an affirmation, read it slowly, and really let yourself feel it. Don't just say it by rote. Try to let yourself be there as fully as you can.

Recognize Self-Critical Messages -- and Talk to Them It's easy to let old, critical voices and messages that we heard as a child play over and over in our minds, without stopping them. Often we may barely recognize that they are there, or we don't really listen to them, we've heard them so

often -- but they continue to impact how we feel and think about ourselves.Try noticing next time you hear a small (or very loud) voice inside your head criticize you. Be aware of what it is saying to you, and try to talk to it. Ask it why it feels it needs to say those things.

Is that part of you trying to protect you, in some child-like logic? Or perhaps that part of you felt it had to take on the messages you heard as a kid. Remind that part of you that you no longer need to do that to survive. You are free to make up your own mind about yourself. Counteract Negative or Critical Thoughts About YourselfWrite down all the negative or critical thoughts and messages you hear inside your head. See if you can figure out who first said them to you (or said something of that nature). Then write out a response that counteracts each of those messages, one by one.

Make the counter messages as strong and loving as you can. If you're having trouble writing out counter messages, see if you can connect to a deep, wise part inside of you. Or write out what you would say to a friend if a friend said those things about her/himself.Do Comforting and Nurturing Things For Yourself Allow yourself to do comforting and nurturing things for yourself. Let yourself feel how good you feel when you do those things -- and tell yourself that you deserve to feel that way, to feel good. Gradually you'll find that the more nurturing and comforting times you have, the more you'll seek

them out -- and they will help build a good feeling inside you.

Ask Yourself What You Need to Do Some of these things will work really well for you, while others may not quite fit you.So try taking a moment to get quiet, and ask yourself, "What can I do to help myself feel more compassion and love toward myself? " Don't force an answer -- just let the answer bubble up from inside you. If you find it hard to hear the answer that way, try writing out your question, and then your answer. See what you come up with. You know best what works for you -- and you have great wisdom inside you. Above all -- have compassion for yourself and for where you're at.

Remember that you are a truly loveable person -- and that you deserve only kind treatment, especially from yourself. :)

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Essay Service Examples Life Love

Self Love Essay

Table of contents

The art of self-love abstract, introduction, self-hating vs. self-loving, the power of self-love, achieving self-love, bibliography.

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• Accept our imperfections. We all have flaws and blemishes. We are not perfect in the first place, so don’t hate yourself for lacking in something. Instead of hating ourselves, we should use those imperfections to improve. Being content with what we have will make us feel free and happy. Remember that your imperfection defines who you are.
• Forgive ourselves. We are all making mistakes in life. We should not be hard on ourselves. We should have to accept that we are just a human; we commit mistakes and failures because we are not perfect. There are no mistakes and failures if we learned a lesson from that mistake and become better than before.
• Protect ourselves. We should protect ourselves from things that can ruin us. Environment plays a big role in the development of our personality. We should avoid things that can harm us. Avoid people who will influence us with bad things or try to judge and discourage us. Also, avoid negative thoughts lingering inside our minds, they will surely ruin us. We should be physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy.
• Acknowledge our worth. All of us are precious. We are all special. We should know our worth for us to love ourselves. We should know that God sees us as a special gem that has a big value in this world. Don’t forget that we have purposes in this world and we just need to know that we are all equally important.
• Appreciate ourselves. For us to love ourselves, we should appreciate our whole being. Let self-love spread in our system by ignoring criticism, insecurities, and doubts that may come our way. Appreciate our entire being.
• Harra, A. (2014). The art of self-love. Retrieved from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/conscious-relationships_b_4677966
• Clarke, S. (2018). Learn to stop self-hate to enjoy life and relationships. Retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/ways-to-stop-self-hatred-4164280#definition
• Khoshaba, D. (2012). A seven-step prescription for self-love. Retrieved from https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/gethardy/201203/seven-step-prescription-self-love%3famp
• Negroni, J. (n.d.). How to love yourself and improve relationships. Retrieved from https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/how-love-yourself-and-improve-relationships.html
• Ritchie, H. (2018). Global mental health: five key insights which emerge from the data. Retrieved from https://ourworldindata.org/global-mental-health#note-4
• Wendy G. (2017). The importance of self-love. Retrieved from https://www.brookhavenretreat.com/cms/blog-22/item/2977-self-love-important

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Advanced Essay 3 Be Yourself, Love Yourself

Introduction-

In my paper my central question was “Is it healthy to have a private self or public self?" One goal for my piece of writing was to just let my readers know that you should just be YOURSELF regardless of what people say about you because everyone gets talked about. Although I don’t think it’s bad to have a private and public self I just believe it shouldn’t matter how you think people view you.

Most people act one way in public and another way in private because they feel like they can’t be themselves without being judged. At least once in a lifetime there was a moment where you may have felt uncomfortable with your environment and felt like you couldn’t be yourself. Struggling with these internal conflicts can really mess one’s confidence up and it can make one feel down. Famous people don’t really have it easy either, most of them are lost and trapped in a mind that is there but don’t really know how to separate their famous stage self to their personal home self. Finding who you are and your identity can come with many challenges in life but it starts with being comfortable in your own skin.

When I think of a public and personal identity I think of a Disney star Miley Cyrus. She was originally was on Disney channel which is mainly for kids and that’s how her career started in the music business. As her career took off, she started to grow up and grow into the women she is now, and she wanted to do more ‘grownup’ things. She felt held back because she knew she had a bunch of young kids watching her, but the Miley Cyrus on TV is not the real Miley Cyrus in real life, it’s only her when she reads the script. She struggled with handling this at first when she was transitioning. As years went on, she started to feel comfortable maybe even way too comfortable that she started to show her body on stage, create more sexual music and not caring too much about what people thought about her. Miley Cyrus once said: "I'm not really scared or insecure about anything because I'm used to people judging me. I'm used to p eople knocking me down, so I'm used to getting back up." This is a mindset that most people don’t have so it’s really inspiring to hear someone so famous and big say something like this and know that we aren’t alone.

Not only famous people struggle with a private and public identity, but everyone does. It can be looked at as a insecurity thing. You may think that people won’t accept you for who your true self is so you try to change and maybe act like them, or act the way you think they’ll accept you. I personally never ‘changed’ myself for anyone but I do remember a time where I know I just didn’t belong in a friend group that I associated myself with. I just got really bad vibes from certain people and I knew they would talk about me behind my back about how my personality doesn’t match theirs. Of course I cared and thought about how would I be able to fit in without being judged but after a while you forget and just start not to care. Being talked about isn’t the best feeling in the world, some people (like me) start to become self conscious, insecure and doubtful. You begin to put yourself down and you start to see the negative side of yourself rather than the positive beautiful side.

You shouldn’t let your insecurities, judgements define you. We all have once struggled with accepting something about ourselves, but that shouldn’t hold us back from being the people that we were brought on this earth to be. Ralph Emerson a famous poet observed, “ to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Love yourself there's nothing wrong with that, loving and accepting yourself is one of the most beautiful things you can possibly do and experience. Once you find yourself and accept yourself you won't care what the next person has to say about you.

Being judged is normal, having a private and public self is normal, holding back is also normal so none of these things are bad. Letting these negative things in are bad, keep them out, never let your head down and don’t look back. Finding who are may come with being talked about and maybe even being let down. It’s your job to find comfort in your own skin and to love yourself matter what is said about you.

"'Miley: The Movement': 10 Most Memorable Quotes From Miley Cyrus' Deluxe Doc." The Hollywood Reporter . N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Jan. 2017.

"Be Yourself Quotes." BrainyQuote . Xplore, n.d. Web. 18 Jan. 2017.

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Interview Questions

Comprehensive Interview Guide: 60+ Professions Explored in Detail

8 Examples of How to Answer “Tell Me About Yourself”

By Biron Clark

Published: November 16, 2023

In this article, I’m going to walk you through steps and examples of how to answer the “Tell me about yourself” interview question to impress employers and get more job offers . We’ll also cover the  costly mistakes you NEED to avoid if you want to pass this question. 

Here’s exactly what you’re going to get:

• The most-recommended method of how to answer “tell me about yourself”
• 8 examples of good answers to “tell me about yourself” for various industries
• A shorter, newer method for experienced candidates
• How to practice your answer to make sure you’re 100% ready for the interview

Let’s get started…

Why Do Interviewers Ask “Tell Me About Yourself”

“Can you tell me about yourself ?” is a common interview question that’s generally delivered as an icebreaker or pathfinder question, right at the start of an interview. It can catch you off your guard because it may seem vague, broad, and somewhat tricky. Honestly though, understanding a bit more about why interviewers ask this question (which is often framed as a command) will give you a clear insight into how to answer.

Interviewers ask this question to ease you out of those introductory jitters (that you both feel) and into the nitty-gritty of why you’re there. It’s their way of establishing a direction for the interview because it shows them how you summarize your experience and show its relevance to the job you’re applying for, which in turn tells them what to ask next. Trust me though, your answer needs to be relevant, the interviewer is likely not asking whether you’re a dog or a cat person but rather what background, skills, qualifications and experiences brought you to this interview today. 

Watch: How to Answer “Tell Me About Yourself?”

Different ways of asking the same question.

I mentioned how this question can sometimes be framed as a command, i.e: “tell me about yourself,” and so on. There are numerous ways this question might be framed, but all express the same intention on the part of the interviewer, so they should all be answered the same way. Common variants include:

• “Take me through your resume.”
• “Tell me about your background”
• “Describe yourself.”
•   “Can you tell me more about why you’re here?”
• “What brings you here today?”

When it comes to describing yourself, you may wonder where to start, how personal to be, and how far to get into it. “Describe yourself” certainly feels a little more personal than the rest. For insight into how to answer that variant, Read This Article .

How to Answer “Tell Me About Yourself” in an Interview:

1. choose the right starting point for your story (important).

Your goal when answering, “tell me about yourself,” is to give a brief, concise walkthrough of your career story that will show off relevant pieces of experience. You want to start at a point in the past (like how you began working in this field), and end up in your current situation. So the first thing to decide is where you’ll begin the story… If you’re a recent graduate: Start with the fact that you just graduated, and explain why you chose this career path or field of area of study.  

For example, you might start your answer like this:

“I graduated with my degree in Economics two months ago. I chose that field of study because I’ve always been interested in finance and money, and a couple of family members told me it leads to great career options, too.”

If you have 1-8 years of experience, start with the moment you graduated and walk them through your employment experience since then.

Here’s an example of how you’d start your interview answer in this situation:

“I graduated with my degree in Industrial Engineering six years ago and immediately went to work for a small design firm in Chicago. Since then, I’ve…”

And if you have 8-20+ years of experience, you can start with a mid-point in your career. This will keep your answer from getting too long.

For example, if you’re a manager, you could start with how you first became a manager. If you’ve been working for 25 years but have only been a sales professional for 12 years, you could begin with how you got started in sales.

Here is an example of how to begin your answer to “tell me about yourself” as a very experienced candidate:

“I first started managing people twelve years ago, when I was promoted from Customer Service Associate to Customer Service Supervisor. Since then, I’ve…”

2. Highlight Impressive Experience and Accomplishments

As you tell your career story, explain key accomplishments you’ve achieved, work you’ve done, skills you’ve learned, and key career moves you’ve made.

• Were you promoted? That’s always a great sign and worth mentioning.
• Did you accomplish something significant like solving a big problem for your last employer?  That’s great to mention, too.
• Did you build new skills or overcome challenges? Get specific! Tell details.

But random impressive facts aren’t enough. You should be thinking about how this ties in with the company you’re talking to.

• You should always research the company before going into the interview . Study their job description in particular so you know what skills THEY care most about.
• What does this particular job involve? Is there a lot of leadership? Talk about your experiences leading (no matter how small!), how it went, and what you learned.
• Does the job involve a high level of technical skill? Talk about how you learned and advanced in that area through each step of your career!
• You need to “tailor” your answer for, “tell me about yourself,” for their job description and their needs. Try to talk about experiences and qualifications that are relevant to this job you’ve applied for.

3. Conclude by Explaining Your Current Situation

Finally, the best way to finish your story is to bring them up to speed on your current situation. Why you wanted to apply for their job , what you’re looking to do next, etc.

For example you might end your answer by saying:

“…and that’s why I wanted to interview with your firm. This position seems like a great opportunity to advance those skills I just talked about, and continue building my career and challenging myself”.

4. Keep Your Answer Work-Related

When employers ask, “tell me about yourself,” in an interview, they usually want to hear about you as a professional. So the safest approach is to keep your answer work-related and share your career story, rather than personal details. You can show more personality as the interview goes on, but it’s risky to share too much personal info when answering, “tell me about yourself.” It could lead to your answer getting too long, or it could cause you to leave out important professional information that the interviewer was looking to know!

5. Be Concise When Answering (2 Minutes or Less!)

When they say “tell me about yourself,” it’s going to be tempting to give a long-winded answer. It’s such an open-ended question. And we covered a lot above, but there’s something just as important as any of that. You need to be concise.  Your communication and ability to stay on track with your answer are two things they are watching closely. The interviewer wants to see that you can tell your story from Point A (the beginning) to Point B (the end) without getting sidetracked, distracted, or scattered. Because it tells them how you’ll communicate as an employee… when there’s a problem, when there’s a disagreement, or when you simply need to share your knowledge or opinion. If you take this answer beyond 2 minutes you are shooting yourself in the foot. In fact, below 90 seconds is ideal. Practice at home with a timer! That’s why I recommend choosing a starting point based on your experience (Step 1 above)… because if you have 25 years of experience and you start at the moment you graduated from college, your answer will be too long.

“Tell Me About Yourself” Example Answers:

Now that we’ve covered the key steps to answering, “tell me about yourself,” let’s look at some full answer examples to this interview question .

Example Answer for Experienced Candidates:

“I graduated with a Business degree in 2010, and was offered an account management position at a telecommunications company I had interned with. I loved working with customers and managing and growing my accounts, but the industry we were in just wasn’t very appealing to me. After that, I stayed a full year and learned a ton about how to build and manage accounts successfully and  I ended up becoming a top performer in my group before leaving. I left at the 1-year-mark to pursue a very similar position within an industry I’m much more excited about- healthcare. I’ve been at this healthcare startup space for 2 years with this company and I feel ready to take my career to the next level so that’s why I’m currently looking for a new opportunity.”

That first example showed you how to answer “tell me about yourself” for experienced job seekers (at least a few years of experience). Now let’s look at an example for entry-level job seekers and job seekers with no experience .

Example Answer With No Experience:

“I graduated with a degree in Engineering two months ago. I chose that field of study because I’ve always been interested in math and physics , and a couple of family members told me it leads to great career options. One of my key accomplishments during my academic career was speaking at a conference on the topic of energy-efficient window design, based on research I had done for one of my senior-level classes. This led to an internship that I just wrapped up, so I’m actively looking for a full-time position now.”

Stand Out by “Tailoring” Your Answer to the Company

The end of your interview answer is a big opportunity to customize your answer for the company and job you’re interviewing for. When you talk about what you’re looking to do next in your career, try to mention whatever you see this company providing for your career (leadership, technical challenges, exposure to new areas, etc.) That shows them why you’re excited about their job, which will help you get hired! (I explain more about why this is true here ). Before we move on to more tips and a HUGE mistake to avoid, here’s one more example interview answer for this question.

Shorter Method for How to Answer “Tell Me About Yourself” (For Experienced Candidates Only)

The method I gave you above is the standard way most recruiters recommend answering “tell me about yourself.”  It’s how I coached job seekers to answer this question for years. There’s another way you can answer, though… and it has some benefits. I’ll explain…Many experts have pointed out that if the interviewer wanted your career story, they could have looked at your resume or your LinkedIn , or asked a question like, “can you walk me through your background?” So there’s another approach for answering, “tell me about yourself,” that skips the career story and just cuts right to the chase: Why you’re awesome and why they should hire you !

Let’s look at 2 word-for-word templates that accomplish this.

After this, you’ll have two proven methods for answering, “tell me about yourself” in interviews, and in the next section, I’ll reveal how to decide which method is best for YOU.

Example answer if you’re job searching while employed:

“Well, I’m currently working at XYZ Company and I specialize in doing ___. The reason I applied for this job is I saw ___ on the job description and I think I would be able to help you ___ and ___. One of my key accomplishments in my current role was helping my employer do ___, and I’m confident I can help your team get similar results here.”

Example answer template if unemployed:

“In my most recent position at XYZ Company, I specialized in doing ___. The reason I applied for this job is I saw ___ on the job description and I think I would be able to help you ___ and ___. One of my key accomplishments in my last role for XYZ Company was helping them  ___, and I’m confident I can help your team get similar results here.”

Which Method Should You Use for Your Answer?

If you have work experience, both options we’ve covered are very good, and it really depends on what you feel most comfortable with. Choose the one you like best. They’re both excellent ways to answer the question, so don’t stress over it! However, if you are entry-level and have no work experience… or internships at the very least…  then I would go back to the top of this article and use the first, 5-step method for answering, “tell me about yourself.”

This second method we just covered is really best if you want to give a unique, concise answer and you have some relevant work experience to share in the interview!

“Tell Me About Yourself” Example Answers For Different Industries:

Healthcare:.

“After being licensed six years ago, I immediately entered a busy E.R. setting where I progressed to the point of triaging as many as 50 patients a shift. I’m skilled in patient record-keeping, stabilizing incoming patients, diagnosing injuries, administering meds, doing stitches, starting I.V.s, setting bones and offering emotional support to family members behind the scenes. I’ve adapted to the pressure but feel that, in the long term, I’d be better suited to a slower-paced environment with more focus on establishing lasting patient relationships. I’m ready to take on this post in your busy day clinic and believe that my advanced patient triage skills, along with my empathic nature, would be a great benefit to your team.”

This works because:   This answer outlines your qualifications and extensive background in incoming patient care, triage, diagnosing and record-keeping. Your honesty about long term goals is appreciated. The answer shows how your skills have progressed since you were licensed, and it inspires confidence in your ability to handle a hands-on post at a busy clinic.

Service Industry:

“Having spent eight years in the food and beverage industry, I progressed from head waiter to front of house manager four years ago. I’ve held so many posts in the industry, from runner to waiter to head waiter to manager, but my dedication to quality service has never changed. I believe in knowing my product and process inside and out, uplifting my team members and demonstrating focused positivity throughout. It’s easy to fall into the temper trap when things get busy, but I prefer to knuckle down, smile and get it done. I want my customers to come back for more!”

This works because: This answer makes an impact because of how your personality shines through. The service industry is incredibly stressful, but it’s refreshing to know that you have a proactive, positive attitude to stressful situations, backed up with strong product knowledge and professionalism.

“I’m an accredited software engineer and systems integrator with more than ten years of active development experience. I’m proficient in Ruby, Python, Java, C++ and a wide range of associated languages and frameworks. I’m a team player, and I love bouncing ideas off my colleagues and engaging with diverse perspectives. I like to stay abreast of the latest tech and I’m wildly competitive when it comes to troubleshooting. I’ve also got an eye for detail and clean design and I’m dedicated to delivering a seamless, streamlined experience to the end-user.”

This works because: From this answer, it’s clear that you’re accredited and boast a diversified programming portfolio with plenty of experience in the field. It’s noted that you’re a team player, as teamwork is essential when developing and managing systems for a busy tech enterprise. And your attitude to problem solving , as being competitive will help you find fast and effective solutions.

“I’ve been a retail cosmetic artist and sales assistant for six years and I’m passionate about making clients feel utterly gorgeous! I have a strong knowledge of retail processes, including stock-take, merchandising and sales targeting. If I have to describe my stand-out quality it’s that I love to build up the team, make my colleagues smile and get them motivated to break targets for our department. Above all though, the customer comes first and I’m dedicated to building brand and store loyalty in the customer.”

  This works because: From this answer, it’s obvious you know retail like the back of your hand and that you take pride in breaking targets and boosting the team morale. Your positivity shines through, and you highlight your passion for making clients feel special.

Practice Your Answer Before the Interview

As a final tip – make sure you go practice everything you plan on saying when the interviewer asks, “what can you tell me about yourself?” Nothing comes out perfect the first time, and you don’t want to appear nervous and stumble when they ask.  So I’d recommend grabbing a piece of paper and writing down the key points you want to talk about in your answer. I like to write them in bullet format. Then, use your smartphone’s voice recorder app to record a few practice answers and see how you sound. Don’t look at your notes as you give your answer. The idea is to try to remember what you want to talk about without reading off the paper. Then glance at the paper AFTER to make sure you covered everything. Keep practicing until you can give a smooth answer without forgetting anything important.

Note: If you’re having a phone interview , you can use notes/bullet points to help guide you through your answer. Nobody can see you on the phone, so take advantage!

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