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Personal Statement Editing

Make A Great First Impression

Professional Personal Statement Proofreading

A good personal statement should set out your qualities, qualifications, experience, and ambitions in a clear, concise manner. Needless to say, it should also be completely error free. And that’s where our expert personal statement  editing services  come in, giving your application the edge you deserve.

Expert Editor

We’re Professional Editors

Our editors know the difference a well-written personal statement can make. They’re also experts at improving written English and correcting errors, so we can help you make the best first impression possible in your application.

Make sure your writing is the best it can be with our expert English proofreading and editing

Personal Statement Editing Services

When you submit a document to our personal statement proofreading service, one of our expert editors will:

• Correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors
• Tweak sentence structure and word choice for readability
• Ensure your statement is clearly structured
• Highlight issues of clarity or consistency
• Provide helpful feedback on writing style in comments

And when we’re done, we’ll provide two copies of your document:

• A ‘Clean’ copy that is ready to use
• And a  Track Changes  copy with all edits highlighted for review

This allows you to check every change we make while editing your personal statement, so you’re always in complete control of the final draft.

Lightning-Fast Delivery

You’ll never miss a deadline with our speedy services: our Next-Day Guarantee means we’ll return any document up to 10,000 words long within 24 hours

And if you need a faster turnaround, simply select your desired delivery speed when you submit your document. We have three options:

We can also meet custom deadlines! Just let us know what you need.

*For documents up to 8,000 words 

**For documents up to 3,000 words

How We Work With Professionals

You’ll never miss a deadline with our speedy services: our Next-Day Guarantee means we’ll return any document up to 8,000 words long within 24 hours.

We can also meet custom deadlines! Just let us know what you need. 

* For documents up to 8,000 words

** For documents up to 3,000 words

Great Pricing

Our pricing is affordable and transparent – the cost is based on the exact length of your document. Check out our pricing calculator for an instant quote, and rest assured that you’ll receive the highest quality proofreading and editing for the best value on the market.

All Major Formats

Our system supports over 15 document formats, making it easy to submit content for proofreading and editing. Click the link below to find out more about how we’ll work with your document.

Learn More About Formats

Subject-Matter Experts

Our team includes 750 professional editors with expertise in thousands of subject areas. This means we can always match you with the best proofreader for your writing, whether you need help with a job application or a conference presentation.

24-Hour Support

Our support team is available around the clock to address any concerns or questions you have about your order. This means you’ll never be left in the dark, no matter where you are or what time it is.

Instant Quote

You can also upload a document to get an instant quote

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Personal Statement 462746

Excellent editor! 100 % recommend. Thank you

Personal statement 461534

Thorough and detailed editing

Dental School PS 461406

No Written Review Submitted

Fellowship statement 461351

Perfect as always

Personal statement 2 461338

An amazing editor with very insightful feedback. Very timely responses. Thank you!

Personal Statement 526 461329

Personal Statement 2 461307

She is truly the best! An amazing editor with very insightful feedback. Very timely responses and awesome proofreading. Thank you so much!

Personal Statement Edit… 461267

Transfer PS 461224

I am so lucky to have Duffypratt as my editor for my writings. I couldn't ask for more!

SOP and PS 461210

A careful and considerate revision

Personal Statement Editing and Proofreading Services

Find your perfect personal statement editor.

Discover unparalleled personal statement editing expertise. Our specialists perfect your narrative for a memorable first impression.

Enhance Your Personal Statement

Experience professional personal statement editing.

Unlock the full potential of your personal statement with ServiceScape's editing service. We delve deep into the essence of your narrative, focusing not just on correcting grammatical errors but on enhancing the overall structure, flow, and clarity. Our commitment is to align your personal statement with the stringent expectations of admissions committees, ensuring your unique story shines through in every sentence.

Personalized Editing Experience

Direct personal statement collaboration.

Our platform facilitates open communication with your personal statement editor, ensuring your ideas are heard and refined with precision. Whether through direct messages or teleconferences, you'll experience a genuine one-on-one partnership. Engage in a collaborative editing process, where expert advice transforms your personal statement into a compelling narrative that captivates admissions committees.

Your Gateway to Higher Education

Making your personal statement stand out.

Let us help you present a clear, engaging story that highlights your strengths and aspirations. With a deep understanding of what makes a personal statement successful, we carefully refine your narrative, ensuring it aligns with admissions expectations. Drawing from a wealth of experience and insight, our editors will sculpt your personal statement, ensuring every element draws in the attention of admissions officers, leaving a lasting and positive impression.

Tailored Personal Statement Editing

Crafting your unique story together.

Our editing service rejects the one-size-fits-all approach, focusing instead on customized feedback and edits that truly reflect your individual journey, goals, and the specific aspirations you harbor for your future in academia or your career. We work closely with you to ensure your personal statement resonates with your unique experiences and aligns perfectly with the requirements of your chosen program or institution.

Quick Turnaround, Lasting Impressions

Rapid, reliable personal statement editing.

We understand the urgency of application deadlines, offering turnaround times as quick as one hour. Our commitment to efficiency ensures you receive high-quality edits swiftly, giving you ample time for review and revisions. Trust us to accelerate your application process, providing you with an impeccably polished personal statement ready to make an immediate, impactful impression on admissions committees.

How It Works

Have your personal statement edited in three steps.

Browse profiles of accomplished editing professionals.

Send your files and provide any details regarding the project.

Receive the edited version before your requested due date.

Our Editor Marketplace

Choose your own personal statement editor.

With ServiceScape, browsing and hiring a skilled personal statement editor is straightforward and hassle-free.

Many of our personal statement editors:

• Hold Ph.D. or Master's degrees
• Offer decades of personal statement editing experience
• Have hundreds of client ratings and reviews
• Are experts across various fields

M.A. in Childhood Education from Hunter College

M.A. in Linguistics from Northeastern Illinois University

M.A. in English from McMaster University

Ph.D. in Molecular Genetics and Microbiology from Duke University

Ph.D. in Social Psychology from the University of Illinois

Ph.D. in Cellular and Molecular Pathology from the University of California

Copy Editor at Intergroup Japan

Ed.D. in Psychology from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary

Senior Editor for Reader's Digest

M.A. in English from the University of Louisiana

Editor at the Journal of Business and Entrepreneurship

M.A. in Linguistics from the University of South Carolina

J.D. from Southern Methodist University Dedman School of Law

J.D. from the University of Maine School of Law

M.S. in Chemical Engineering from Clemson University

Professor at Cincinnati State University

Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering from the University of Hawaii

M.A. in English from Lehigh University

M.A. in English and Creative Writing from Southern New Hampshire University

Our Testimonials and Experience

What we bring to the table.

ServiceScape is built on 24 years worth of experience, working on over 341,000 projects with over 98,000 clients. Our personal statement editing and proofreading services are rated 4.9 out of 5 stars, based on 1,079 reviews collected over the last 5 years. Join the thousands of people who have chosen ServiceScape to find the best and brightest talent.

"My freelancer's attention to detail and commitment to quality exceeded my expectations. Every aspect of the project was handled with utmost professionalism."

"I was amazed by the promptness and efficiency of the person I hired. The project was completed well ahead of the deadline, without compromising on quality."

"The level of creativity and innovation in his approach was outstanding. He truly transformed my ideas into something extraordinary!"

"Exceptional service! The professional was incredibly responsive and attentive to all my requirements, making the entire process seamless and enjoyable."

"I highly recommend her services. The professionalism and expertise displayed by the freelancer were top-notch, and the results were simply superb."

"The quality of work delivered was impeccable. Every detail was carefully considered and executed to perfection. Absolutely thrilled with the service!"

"Her ability to understand and adapt to my specific needs was remarkable. The final product was exactly what I was hoping for, and more."

"Prompt, professional, and passionate about her work. She went above and beyond to ensure the project's success."

"The service was outstanding from start to finish. Communication was clear and frequent, keeping me in the loop at every stage."

"Truly impressed by the quick turnaround time. This professional managed to deliver a high-quality result in a remarkably short period."

"His commitment is evident in his work. He made sure I was completely happy with the final outcome."

"A blend of professionalism, skill, and creativity. This individual brought a fresh perspective to the project that was both inspiring and effective."

"The freelancer's expertise in his field is unmatched. He provided invaluable insights and suggestions that greatly enhanced the project."

"I appreciated his attention to detail and dedication to delivering a product that not only met, but exceeded my expectations."

"Her approach to the project was both thorough and innovative. She managed to capture the essence of my vision perfectly. Thank you so much!"

"Remarkable service! The quality of work was consistently high, and her ability to meet tight deadlines was impressive."

Learn More About Our Editing Services

The servicescape advantage.

Your Questions, Answered

Our personal statement editing service will elevate your writing by providing:

• Grammar and Syntax Review: Ensuring your personal statement is free from grammatical and syntactical errors, allowing for clear and professional presentation of your narrative.
• Spelling and Punctuation Precision: Diligently correcting all spelling and punctuation mistakes to uphold the professionalism of your statement.
• Personalization of Your Statement: Customizing your personal statement to mirror your individual experiences and aspirations, making sure it resonates with admissions committees.
• Structural Coherence and Flow: Improving the overall structure for a coherent flow of ideas, thereby making your statement both compelling and easy to understand.
• Constructive Feedback: Offering insightful feedback and practical suggestions to enhance the quality and impact of your personal statement.
• Adherence to Guidelines: Confirming that your personal statement complies with the formatting and content requirements set by the intended institutions.
• Emphasizing Achievements: Highlighting your key achievements and qualities to showcase your potential contributions to the program and institution.
• Optimizing Voice and Tone: Adjusting the tone of your personal statement to fit the academic and cultural environment of the institution while keeping your unique voice intact.
• Enhancing Clarity and Impact: Focusing on clarity and impact to ensure your personal statement effectively communicates your message and leaves a lasting impression.

Our team is dedicated to transforming your personal statement into an outstanding reflection of your abilities and ambitions, helping you to not only meet but exceed the expectations of admissions committees.

At ServiceScape, we are proud of our track record in helping clients achieve their academic aspirations. Below is a list of notable institutions where our clients have successfully been accepted:

• Harvard University
• University of Oxford
• Stanford University
• Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT)
• University of Cambridge
• Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology (KAIST)
• California Institute of Technology (Caltech)
• Princeton University
• University of Chicago
• Imperial College London
• Yale University
• National University of Singapore (NUS)
• University of Toronto
• Columbia University
• University of Melbourne
• Yonsei University
• Tsinghua University
• University College London (UCL)
• University of California, Berkeley (UCB)
• University of Sydney
• Korea University
• University of British Columbia
• University of Hong Kong (HKU)
• University of Edinburgh
• London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE)
• University of Michigan
• Peking University
• Seoul National University
• McGill University
• University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA)

You can hire an editor by just browsing our marketplace of editors , clicking on the "View Profile" button of an editor you want to hire, and clicking on the "Hire Me" button. After your payment method has been processed, your editor will get to work and will deliver the edited version before your due date.

A list of prices and due dates can be found within each editor's profile. Just find your editor and click on the "View Profile" button.

Our fastest delivery option is one hour using our Express Delivery service.

Sure! Many ServiceScape editors provide free samples. You can submit a free sample request by just browsing our marketplace of editors , clicking on the "View Profile" button of an editor you want to request a free sample from, and clicking on the "Free Sample" button. If the editor accepts your free sample request, you will receive the sample edited version within a couple of days.

You can send a message to an editor by just browsing our marketplace of editors , clicking on the "View Profile" button of an editor you want to contact, and clicking on the "Send Message" button. We will email you a notification as soon as your editor replies to your message.

You can schedule a teleconference call by just browsing our marketplace of editors , clicking on the "View Profile" button of an editor you want to contact, and clicking on the "Teleconference" button. We will contact you right away about availability and set up the teleconference for all parties involved.

You can find ratings and reviews from past clients within most editor profiles. Just find your editor and click on the "View Profile" button to see them. You can also read thousands of ServiceScape ratings and reviews on eKomi .

In addition, ServiceScape has been featured in several publications and websites, including The Wall Street Journal , Los Angeles Times , UpWork , HuffPost , Indeed , and The Ladders .

Many editors have portfolios which feature their editing. Just find your editor and click on the "View Profile" button to view these edited versions.

Yes, we provide editing certifications. Simply request the document when you hire an editor. When your project is delivered, you can download the editing certification by clicking on your project and clicking on the "Certification" button. These signed declarations certify that a document has been professionally edited by a ServiceScape editor.

Browse Rated and Reviewed Editors

Are you ready for the right personal statement editor, right now.

Social Security

Get your social security statement ( en español ), social security statement.

Your Social Security Statement (Statement) is available to view online by opening a my Social Security account. It is useful for people of all ages who want to learn about their future Social Security benefits and current earnings history.

For workers age 60 and older who do not have a my Social Security account, we currently mail Social Security Statements three months prior to your birthday.

Sample Statement

We redesigned the Statement to make it easier for you to read and find the information you need!

The redesigned Statement now includes a bar graph displaying your personalized retirement benefit estimates at nine different ages, depending on when you want benefits to start. It also includes your earnings history, and information on how to report an error if you find one.

We encourage you to review your Statement annually. Below, you can view a sample Statement and the valuable information it provides. Your personal Statement may include different language, depending on your situation.

• Social Security Statement Samples
• Online Statement
• Statement for People with Noncovered Earnings
• Mailed Statement

Fact Sheets Added to Statement

We have added new fact sheets to accompany the Statement . The fact sheets are designed to provide clarity and useful information, based on your age group and earnings situation. They can help you better understand Social Security programs and benefits.

These fact sheets include:

• Retirement Ready (Fact Sheet For Workers Ages 18-48)
• Retirement Ready (Fact Sheet For Workers Ages 49-60)
• Retirement Ready (Fact Sheet For Workers Ages 61-69)
• Retirement Ready (Fact Sheet For Workers Ages 70 and Up)
• Social Security Basics For New Workers
• How You Become Eligible For Benefits
• Additional Work Can Increase Your Future Benefits
• You Have Earnings Not Covered By Social Security
• Medicare Ready
• Supplemental Security Income And Other Benefits

Personal Statement Editing Service: Elevate Your Story Fast, Affordable, Professional

Personal statement editing transforms your personal statement into a compelling narrative. Use this service to ensure that your personal statement reflects your unique qualities and aspirations. Let us help you stand out with a polished, persuasive personal statement.

Try before you buy.

Get an instant quote. Services are available 24/7.

• Personal Statement Editing Service: Elevate Your Story

Expert Personal Statement Editing Service

Your personal statement is a pivotal component of your college or graduate school application. It's your opportunity to make a compelling case for admission by showcasing your unique skills, experiences, and aspirations. However, crafting a standout personal statement essay requires time and skill. That's where our Personal Statement Editing service can help.

At Scribendi, we understand the significance of a well-written personal statement. Our team of experienced editors is dedicated to enhancing your writing and ensuring that your personal statement is error-free, clear, and impactful. Get more than just grammar and punctuation; get Structural Editing and constructive feedback to strengthen your content. Let's craft a college admissions or graduate school application that will help you shine.

Our editors are well-versed in what admissions committees and officers seek in a personal statement. They can help you avoid common pitfalls and guide you in effectively communicating your skills and aspirations. Don't let the pressure of writing a personal statement hold you back! Our editing service is here to help you present the best version of yourself to the admissions committee. Whether you need personal statement proofreading or a comprehensive editing service, we're your partner in this crucial phase of your academic journey.

Need Personal Statement Editing?

Your personal statement is your voice in the competitive world of college admissions and graduate school applications. Crafting a compelling and error-free personal statement essay is essential to make a lasting impression. If you find yourself struggling to perfect your statement, our Personal Statement Editing service is here to provide expert assistance .

We recognize the significance of a well-polished personal statement. Our experienced editors are dedicated to helping you achieve the best possible version of your essay. Whether you need assistance with personal statement proofreading or comprehensive personal statement editing , our team is here to ensure your writing is clear, coherent, and impactful.

We understand that the college admissions and graduate school admissions committees are looking for more than just good grammar. They want to get to know you through your writing and understand your unique skills and aspirations. Don't let the pressure of creating a perfect personal statement overwhelm you. Trust our editing service to guide you toward presenting your best self to the admissions officers. Try personal statement editing to take the first step toward success in your academic journey.

What will you receive with Personal Statement Editing? 

• An edited document in which misspellings, grammar errors, and typos have been corrected
• Changes and suggestions to help improve clarity, flow, structure, and readability
• Tracked revisions so that you can see and review all the changes that have been made
• In-depth critical commentary on your personal statement
• A short summary of the work that has been done and any major concerns

What types of documents can you use Personal Statement Editing for?

• Personal statements
• Other admissions documents

Rest assured, whether you're entrusting your confidential personal statement or engaging our expertise in personal statement editing services, your document's privacy is our top concern. We uphold the strictest confidentiality for your work. 

All uploads and downloads to our secure server are encrypted , and our robust privacy policies are in place to protect your personal statement, academic research, and personal data. Assistance for your personal statement editing needs is just a click away. 

We are dedicated to ensuring the highest level of security and quality for your academic work. Get an instant quote for your personal statement editing below and place your order now .

  Get an Instant Quote and Place Your Order

Personal Statement Editing Services FAQ

What do i write in a personal statement.

When it comes to the question of what to write in a personal statement for college or graduate school admissions, personal statement editing can help you craft a compelling essay. A personal statement is a critical component of your college or university application. You should write about your personal experiences, skills, and aspirations. Don't simply list achievements; provide real examples that show who you are and why you're an ideal fit. Personal statement editing services can be of great help in refining your statement, making sure it stands out to admissions committees. Take your time to write a personal statement that truly reflects your unique qualities and ambitions, and seek professional assistance when needed.

How do I start my personal statement?

When beginning your personal statement for college or graduate school admissions, personal statement editing can provide invaluable guidance. To start, focus on a compelling opening that grabs the admissions committee's attention. Share a personal anecdote, relevant skill, or life experience that connects to your educational and career goals. Show, don't just tell, who you are through vivid examples. Personal statement editing services can help refine and structure your introduction, ensuring that it makes a memorable impression on admissions officers. Don't rush the process; take the time to craft an engaging and authentic personal statement.

Why does my personal statement need editing? 

Personal statement editing is essential because it can significantly enhance the quality and impact of your personal statement. A well-crafted personal statement can make a difference in college or graduate school admissions. Editing refines your essay, helping you avoid common pitfalls and ensuring your writing is clear, concise, and error-free. It helps you communicate your skills, experiences, and aspirations effectively, making your personal statement more appealing to admissions committees. Experienced editors can provide constructive feedback and suggestions, ultimately helping you create a personal statement that stands out and resonates with admissions officers.

What are the advantages of hiring an editor to revise my personal statement?

Opting for personal statement editing services offers several advantages in crafting a compelling personal statement. Editors bring a trained eye to your essay, ensuring it's clear, well-structured, and free of errors. They can help you avoid common pitfalls, making your personal statement more effective at capturing admissions committees' attention. With their expertise, editors also provide valuable feedback on your content and writing style, helping you convey your skills, experiences, and aspirations more persuasively.

This assistance can be especially crucial when you're short on time or feel unsure about how to write a personal statement that resonates with admissions officers. Overall, hiring an editor empowers you to submit a polished and memorable personal statement that bolsters your college or graduate school application.

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The Personal Statement Editing Process

Upload Your Personal Statement

Submit your statement and include some background information, such as the school you are planning to apply to and personal statement instructions. We will then match you with one of our admissions editing experts.

Get Expert Revision

You can stay in contact and communicate with your editor throughout the editing process. Give them specific instructions or ask them any questions you might have.

Receive Your Edited Statement

Your admissions editor will not only revise your text but also give you personal feedback, suggestions on how to take your statement to the next level, and tips that will help you with your essay writing in the future.

Calculate Your Price

• Choose your editing service type.
• To calculate the word count of a specific selection of the document, highlight the text and then click [Word Count] .

Journal Manuscripts, Research Papers, Dissertations/Theses, Articles, Abstracts

Application Essays, Scholarship Essays, CVs/Resumes, Recommendation Letters

Extensive feedback, editing checklist, and review letter for admissions documents

High School & University Assignments, Term Papers, College Essays, Class Reports

Proposals, Reports, Press Releases, Marketing Materials, Blog & Website Content

Books, Scripts/Screenplays, Personal Essays & Opinion Pieces, Personal Blogs

Wordvice’s Personal Statement Editors

Features of our personal statement editing services, english proofreading.

Personal statement proofreading includes:

• Correction of syntax and grammar errors
• Revising of spelling, punctuation, and mechanics issues
• Word reduction if necessary

Wordvice guarantees 100% accuracy in grammar and spelling—your edited statement will be completely free of language errors.

Enhancement of English Expressions

Our editors enhance the style, readability, and tone of your personal statement and make it more natural by:

• Correcting word choice mistakes and rephrasing for flow
• Rephrasing to enhance clarity and conciseness
• Providing feedback and comments to explain revisions

Our personal statement editing focuses on helping you get accepted into the school of your choice by showcasing your qualifications, experience, and academic goals in a clear and concise manner.

Premium Personal Statement Editing

Personal Statement Editing includes a premium service that goes beyond quality editing and proofreading and includes the following additional features:

• Editor experience with college and university applications
• A review letter with detailed feedback and suggestions
• Re-editing for up to 20% of your personal statement

Our Premium Admissions Essay Editing Service is ideal for SOPs, personal statements, and other application essays that require several drafts before submission.

Editing Services for College & Graduate Personal Statements

Reviews of our personal statement editing services.

Personal Statement Editing Services Reviews

• Prianka DeSouza "Admissions Essay Improved" I was very confused with the differences between the different parts of my college application, especially how much personal information to include. But my editor was so helpful and explained to me where I could include more about myself and even gave me some examples for writing these sections. I’ll probably use this service again for graduate school.
• David Wilson "Thank you for editing my SOP" Thank you very much for your editing of my SOP. I really appreciate your comments on my writing. Your editing made my SOP much more clear and convincing, and your advice helped me think about what I really want to tell the admissions committee. Now I am confident with my application.

Samples of Our Personal Statement Editing Services

Personal Statement

Personal editing sample.

Personal Statement Editing Services FAQ

What are your personal statement editing rates, how long do your admissions editing services take, do your editors have experience with admissions to top-tier schools, can you also edit my application essay, get your instant quote.

*Apply ACADEMIC50US for a 50% discount (up to $50).

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The opinions expressed are solely those of Find My Profession. Click to see our Advertising Disclosure.

5 Best Personal Statement Writing Services (2024)

Find the best professional personal statement writing services. Compare writer costs and turnaround times of the top personal statement writers.

2024 Winners: Add your badge to your marketing materials.

A personal statement, or statement of purpose, contains fundamental information about you.

Although it’s sometimes referred to as an admissions essay, a personal statement is different from an essay written on a general topic to assess your writing skills.

A personal statement lets the hiring manager or selection board read about who you are, what you excel at, and what your educational and professional goals are.

It’s perfectly fine to get some help with this.

Hire a professional personal statement writing service!

Of course, there are plenty of personal statement writing services out there and it can be difficult to know which one to choose.

We have done the heavy lifting for you and devoted countless hours to research.

Finally, we have come up with a list of the best personal statement writing services.

Best Personal Statement Writers

Best writers for personal statements.

How We Choose Winners

Each of the personal statement writing services below was reviewed by a Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW) taking into consideration the following:

The cost of the service compared to other personal statement writers.

The speed at which the personal statement is completed.

Overall experience, awards, and certifications of the writers.

The design, style, and overall look of the personal statement.

Guarantees, number of edits, and reviews.

This list was hand-curated to serve all industries, professions, and career levels. Whether you are in finance, sales, HR, engineering, or any other role, these companies will provide excellent personal statement writing services.

Average Personal Statement Cost

Personal statement writer reviews.

Find My Profession

Find My Profession is much more than a personal statement writing service. They are a global career services company whose work has been featured on sites like Forbes, Inc., Zety, Fast Company, and more.

With their team of elite resume writers who have experience in over 85 industries and professions, they can match you with a writer who understands your unique background and experience. Additionally, every resume comes with a one-on-one phone consultation with your writer.

Find My Profession has an impressive track record of successfully landing clients jobs at top companies such as Apple, Amazon, EA, Oracle, GM, Facebook, DoJ, Morgan Stanley, and Tesla. 

Their 900+ 5-star reviews speak to their commitment to delivering high-quality service. They also offer a 60-day interview guarantee and ensure that every resume created is Applicant Tracking System (ATS) compatible and highly customized to meet your specific needs.

You will work one-on-one with an elite and certified resume writer based in the U.S. Find My Profession is committed to ensuring that every client is 100% satisfied with their resume, which is why they do not limit the number of edits or time spent working with your writer.

Find My Profession is a virtual company allowing them to provide services worldwide. While they do not have a physical office for in-person visits, they ensure direct communication with your writer through email and phone calls.

4.9/5 based on 521 Trustpilot reviews 4.9/5 based on 319 Sitejabber reviews 4.9/5 based on 151 Google reviews 5/5 based on 52 Facebook reviews

3 – 5 business days with resume (can expedite to 2 business days)

$199 – $299 (as an add-on to a resume package)

(831) 888-0967 or [email protected]

Check out some of our 5-star reviews:

Alex on January 4, 2024

Resume & LinkedIn Profile

Belda Villalon on July 1, 2022

Michael on December 19, 2023

Exceptional resume

Michelle T on November 10, 2022

Professional Resume

Brigit on October 25, 2023

Highest quality of work

Beh on September 20, 2021

Professional. Experts…

Matt B on July 17, 2023

Excellent Experience

Chad B on May 2, 2022

Wonderful investment

Channel Resume

Channel Resume is a Vancouver-based executive resume writing service founded by Milton Kiang. Milton is a writing expert with 15+ years of experience. He single-handedly manages the company. To fulfill orders, he helps identify your strengths and uses them to craft you an effective personal statement.

Milton is a member of the Professional Association of Resume Writers & Career Coaches, National Resume Writers’ Association, and Professional Writers Association of Canada. He has amassed enough training and experience to help meet his clients’ unique writing needs.

This company appears to be run by just one person. This could be a problem, as it may hinder the possibility for diverse input and even lead to a slow turnaround time.

5/5 based on 29 Google reviews

(604) 251-3203 or [email protected]

Need Help With Your Job Search?

Did you know there are companies you can hire to help with your job search? Whether you need resume help or want someone to apply to jobs for you, we’ve reviewed the 20 best agencies to help you find a job.

The Resume Center

The Resume Center is a virtual personal statement writing service with 24+ years of service delivery. The company was founded by James Innes and has been rendering writing services worldwide since 1998. It is made up of over 100 writers, who have written a combined 36,300+ papers since its inception.

The company sports over 100 qualified writers. So, there’d definitely be one who can attend to your unique needs. In addition, details of their personal statement writers can be found on their website.

The company’s website doesn’t explain what the differences in their personal statement packages are. You’ll need to contact the service for more information.

4.7/5 based on 43 Google reviews 2.5/5 based on 3 Yelp reviews

$120 – $275

(551) 356-8010 or [email protected]

Personal Statement Service

Personal Statement Service is based in the United Kingdom, but renders services globally. In fact, they have a physical office in the United States. The company is made up of graduates from the UK’s top universities, and their services support undergraduates, post-graduates, Master’s and PhD applicants.

Depending on your package,  you get one-on-one video consultations with your personal statement writer. These video consultations allow you to discuss the requirements of your personal statement.

If you purchase their standard Gold package, you only have a one-time review option. Also, the details of their personal statement writers are nowhere to be found on their site.

4.7/5 based on 12 Facebook reviews

1 – 5 business days (can expedite to 12 hours)

(646) 568-9741 or [email protected]

Residency Statement

Residency Statement is a personal statement service created by Dr. Musa in 2008. The company specializes in helping medical students craft personal statements for their medical residency application. Since its inception, they have crafted personal statements for over 20,000 medical residency applicants.

You can contact your writer personally through an established communication platform. They do not only craft compelling personal statements, but they also brush up your existing ones.

They only write personal statements for medical statements who are applying for medical residency. Also, details of their personal statement writers are not available on their website.

4/5 based on 9 TrustPilot reviews

7 – 10 business days (can expedite to 3 – 5 days)

(858) 221-8590 or [email protected]

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Personal statement winners (2023).

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Review and Critique

• Expert writers skilled in personal statement critique and review
• A minimum of ten recommendations for improvement
• Quick, simple process for delivery
• Top class personal statements critiqued specifically to your requirements

If you are one of those people who have managed to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and written a draft of your personal statement, then our personal statement critique service could be just what you need to polish your work into a professional personal statement that will be effective for the course and university you are applying for.

It is very difficult to critique your own work, especially something as important as a personal statement. When you have been writing and rewriting something for so long, you can often not see where mistakes have been made or where you could improve your copy. You need a fresh pair of eyes to give your personal statement a complete evaluation and critical analysis. The beauty of our service is that those fresh pair of eyes are professional, expert writers, who know exactly how to make your personal statement stand out from the rest.

Our experts will review your personal statement and give you a full and frank evaluation, with no less than ten recommendations for change, which will enhance and improve your existing personal statement. Our writers will highlight areas of your personal statement that can be improved to meet your overall aim, and will point out where your personal statement is strong and in which areas it falls below the mark. They will then suggest ways in which you can improve these failing areas, so that you are left with an outstanding personal statement that will hit the mark with the universities you are applying to.

This service is tailored specifically to people applying for university courses, and all our writers are skilled in producing top class personal statements that will amaze those responsible for admitting students on to their courses. Those responsible for admissions to university see thousands of applications, and even if your grades are good, they often rely on what you say in your personal statement to decide on whether or not you will be an asset to their university. This is why it is vital that your personal statement is as professional as possible, and why having your personal statement critiqued and improved by specialists could give you the added boost you need to set your application apart from all the rest.

You may know exactly how you want something to sound, but find that you have trouble finding the right words to express it in your personal statement. Or you may find that you have used a lot of repetition because you cannot find the words to make your point eloquently. Our writers will recognise this immediately when they see your personal statement, and will make recommendations on how you can improve it. There may also be points that you have missed which would be ideal for expressing how suitable you are for your chosen university or course. Again, our writers will pick this up immediately, and will make these points in the detailed review of your personal statement.

The process we follow in order to get your personal statement returned to you quickly and with a full and detailed critique and evaluation, together with a minimum of ten recommendations for improvement, is simple. You simply email over the personal statement you have drafted yourself and we will match a writer who is most qualified in your specific subject and who is skilled in writing personal statements for university admissions. The writer will get to work on your personal statement as soon as payment is processed, and it will be returned to you via email on, or frequently before, the agreed deadline. The writer will produce unique recommendations, which will be personally tailored to your personal statement and your requirements. We guarantee there will be absolutely no plagiarism in your personal statement, and that it will not be released for sale to any other person. The personal statement is yours and yours alone, and the only people who will see it will be your writer, the plagiarism monitor and your admissions tutor, who will be likely to add your application to the accepted pile.

So if you have been reading and re-reading your personal statement, and are now finding the words are swimming before your eyes, try our personal statement critique service. You have done some of the hard work, which is getting something on the page in the first place. Now let our expert writers take your words and work them into a piece of writing that informs, entertains and raises the bar for every other student applying to the same universities as you. We want you to succeed in your academic studies, and we know we have the skills and expertise to help you craft a stunning personal statement that will increase your chances and set you well on the way to a happy university career.

Your personal statement is vital in ensuring you get the university place you want. Don’t take a chance with it. Secure your university place today!

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Frequently asked questions

How fast can scribbr review my personal statement.

We know that waiting for feedback can be nerve-racking. If you select our faster deadline option, you’ll hear from your personal statement editor in 12 hours or less – including on weekends and holidays. 

Frequently asked questions: College Essay Editing & Coaching

We never engage in rewriting or adding text at Scribbr. Our personal statement editors will make grammatical corrections and leave suggestions using Word’s track changes and commenting feature. However, we always make sure that your perspective and voice remain front and center in your essay.

We know that waiting for feedback can be nerve-racking. If you select our faster deadline option, you’ll hear from your college essay coach in 12 hours or less – including on weekends and holidays.

Yes. All our college essay coaches are subject-matter experts and can help you make decisions regarding the content of your essay. Your coach will help you make a strong case for your admission.

Our essay coaches will provide feedback on…

• Whether your topic is appropriate and how to strengthen it
• Whether your essay demonstrates positive traits and authenticity
• Whether the narrative flows smoothly and grabs the reader’s attention
• How to dig deeper and show self-reflection and insight
• What content is missing and should be added
• What content is weak and should be removed
• How to shorten your essay to meet a word count limit

However, we will never…

• Write or rewrite content for you
• Research or fact-check your essay’s content

If you have any questions, feel free to email [email protected].

Yes! Our essay coaches can help you reduce your word count by up to 25%. You can choose to receive this feedback through direct edits or suggestions in comments – just select your choice when you upload your essay.

When you submit your essay to our College Essay Editing & Coaching service, you’ll be asked to indicate what type of content feedback you would like to receive. You can choose from three options:

Dig deep and challenge me

Give me the standard treatment

Tread lightly

Whichever option you choose, you’ll receive in-depth content feedback from your essay coach. However, the type of feedback your essay coach provides may differ, and the option you should choose depends on what outcome you want from the review. You can always elaborate on what type of feedback you want in your note to your essay coach.

Learn more about the three options below.

Choose from three options

If you choose this option, we’ll challenge you to write the best possible essay – no content suggestions are off-limits, including reorienting your topic or reframing your story. Students who choose this option aren’t afraid to go back to the drawing board if it’ll increase their chances of getting accepted. You may have to roll up your sleeves and do some more work on your essay, but your essay will be much stronger because of it.

Select this option if your priority is to have the best possible essay, even if it requires some extra work on your side.

We’ll strike a balance between “dig deep and challenge me” and “tread lightly.” We may suggest changes to your structure and narrative, including removing weak content, elaborating on certain sections, and adding content to strengthen your arguments. You may have to rework sentences and paragraphs, but we won’t suggest major content changes.

With this option, we’ll focus on improving your essay in a way that requires little additional work from you. We’ll provide you with targeted suggestions for how to refine your essay’s structure and narrative, but we will work within your current structure and topic. While you may have to make a few tweaks here and there, we’ll aim to return you a polished draft that’s ready to be submitted to your chosen colleges.

Select this option if you are fairly satisfied with your essay and don’t want to make major changes or if you have limited time to revise.

At Scribbr, we promise to make every customer 100% happy with the service we offer. Our philosophy: Your complaint is always justified – no denial, no doubts.

Our customer support team is here to find the solution that helps you the most, whether that’s a free new edit or a refund for the service.

Ask our team

Want to contact us directly? No problem.  We  are always here for you.

• Email [email protected]
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Our team helps students graduate by offering:

• A world-class citation generator
• Plagiarism Checker software powered by Turnitin
• Innovative Citation Checker software
• Professional proofreading services
• Over 300 helpful articles about academic writing, citing sources, plagiarism, and more

Scribbr specializes in editing study-related documents . We proofread:

• PhD dissertations
• Research proposals
• Personal statements
• Admission essays
• Motivation letters
• Reflection papers
• Journal articles
• Capstone projects

Scribbr’s Plagiarism Checker is powered by elements of Turnitin’s Similarity Checker , namely the plagiarism detection software and the Internet Archive and Premium Scholarly Publications content databases .

The add-on AI detector is powered by Scribbr’s proprietary software.

The Scribbr Citation Generator is developed using the open-source Citation Style Language (CSL) project and Frank Bennett’s citeproc-js . It’s the same technology used by dozens of other popular citation tools, including Mendeley and Zotero.

You can find all the citation styles and locales used in the Scribbr Citation Generator in our publicly accessible repository on Github .

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Personal Statement Review Packages

$ 799.99 – $ 999.99

Finally decided to apply to law school but not sure how to draft a personal statement? Do you have too many stories to tell and are not sure how to fit the “story of you” into just a few pages? Perhaps you’re still looking for just one compelling narrative to demonstrate what you have to offer? A personal statement can be very difficult to write and is unlike almost anything else you’ve written. Yet it is one of the most important components to your application. When done right, it can make the difference between a denial and possible admission.

In our Personal Statement Review packages , our admissions experts will review your personal statement and provide you with in-depth feedback on substance, flow, writing style, grammar, and punctuation to ensure that your personal statement is effectively highlighting the perspective, value, and experience you bring to a school and the legal profession! Our admissions experts are actual attorneys with admissions committee experience.

We have two Personal Statement Review packages to choose from.

• Package 1 : includes one 30-minute initial phone consultation and two sets of edits on your personal statement.
• Package 2 : includes one 45-minute initial phone consultation and three sets of edits on your personal statement.

• Reviews (3)

3 reviews for Personal Statement Review Packages

Anonymous – August 10, 2020

The quality and level of attention received were excellent. You exceeded my expectations; I would recommend your feedback on admissions materials to anyone applying to law school. Rachel’s feedback was thorough, constructive, and spot-on; I can now apply feeling confident that my application puts my best foot forward.

Anonymous – July 31, 2020

My experience with JD Advising was phenomenal. I was on a time crunch to get my applications in and had my personal statement reviewed and edited within days of finding out about JD Advising. Not only was the service timely, but the comments were immensely constructive and easy to understand. I also really appreciated the personalized attention I received, with one on one phone calls that allowed me to ask questions and discuss the feedback. I wish I would have found out about you earlier so that I could have taken advantage of the other pre-law services you offer! Thank you for all your help, I feel so much more confident in my application now.

Anonymous – June 17, 2020

Rachel was super helpful and gave me clear edits on my PS. She helped with the flow and coherence of my PS. Also, she was nice and gave me advise on what steps to take when applying to law schools. Now, I feel super confident in my essay. Rachel communicated well and fast. I would recommend her to every prospective law student. She is awesome!

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How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

• Ruth Gotian
• Ushma S. Neill

A few adjustments can get your application noticed.

Whether applying for a summer internship, a professional development opportunity, such as a Fulbright, an executive MBA program, or a senior leadership development course, a personal statement threads the ideas of your CV, and is longer and has a different tone and purpose than a traditional cover letter. A few adjustments to your personal statement can get your application noticed by the reviewer.

• Make sure you’re writing what they want to hear. Most organizations that offer a fellowship or internship are using the experience as a pipeline: It’s smart to spend 10 weeks and $15,000 on someone before committing five years and $300,000. Rarely are the organizations being charitable or altruistic, so align your stated goals with theirs
• Know when to bury the lead, and when to get to the point. It’s hard to paint a picture and explain your motivations in 200 words, but if you have two pages, give the reader a story arc or ease into your point by setting the scene.
• Recognize that the reviewer will be reading your statement subjectively, meaning you’re being assessed on unknowable criteria. Most people on evaluation committees are reading for whether or not you’re interesting. Stated differently, do they want to go out to dinner with you to hear more? Write it so that the person reading it wants to hear more.
• Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren’t great in core courses, or perhaps you’ve never worked in the field you’re applying to. Make sure to address the deficiency rather than hoping the reader ignores it because they won’t. A few sentences suffice. Deficiencies do not need to be the cornerstone of the application.

At multiple points in your life, you will need to take action to transition from where you are to where you want to be. This process is layered and time-consuming, and getting yourself to stand out among the masses is an arduous but not impossible task. Having a polished resume that explains what you’ve done is the common first step. But, when an application asks for it, a personal statement can add color and depth to your list of accomplishments. It moves you from a one-dimensional indistinguishable candidate to someone with drive, interest, and nuance.

• Ruth Gotian is the chief learning officer and associate professor of education in anesthesiology at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City, and the author of The Success Factor and Financial Times Guide to Mentoring . She was named the #1 emerging management thinker by Thinkers50. You can access her free list of conversation starters and test your mentoring impact . RuthGotian
• Ushma S. Neill is the Vice President, Scientific Education & Training at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. She runs several summer internships and is involved with the NYC Marshall Scholar Selection Committee. ushmaneill

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Medical School Personal Statement Editing

- be memorable. get accepted. -, unbiased essay editing.

Our diverse team of 50+ editors provide personalized, unbiased, and honest reviews. Each editor brings something different to the table that is guaranteed to enhance your essays and give you that edge. 

Medical School Masters

Our rigorous application/screening process leaves us with only the finest core editing team of medical students and physicians. Reviewing countless essays has allowed us to identify the patterns that make certain students more memorable and competitive.

Affordable Review Services

We know what it’s like living on a pre-med budget, which is why we refuse to charge the outrageous prices other companies are charging ($300-$1K for a single essay review). Help us change the game and continue our mission by not letting our fair prices distract you from the superior quality of our services.

what others are saying...

Accepted medical school applicant, dr. precious anyaoha, dr. michael cellini, find your perfect essay review package, we will help to craft your best personal statement, extracurricular essays, secondary essays, or all of the above, ultimate acceptance package, all-in-one application cycle solution.

• Unlimited Personal Statement Reviews
• Unlimited Activities Description Reviews
• Unlimited Messaging w/ Editors and Advisors
• CASPer Prep (Or Additional Mock Interview)
• Secondary Application Reviews
• Mock Interview
• Admissions Advising

Personal Statement Reviews

• Advice from Admissions Committee Members
• Custom Feedback & Recommendations
• 48-72 Hour Turnaround
• Complete Analysis of content/voice/tone

Packages starting at $120

Not sure which package is best for you, text or call becca at: 917-994-0765, activities reviews, secondary reviews, packages starting at $119.99, interested in seeing the quality of our personal statement editing, meet some of your editors.

Ansel N., MD,PhD

The ohio state university college of medicine.

Alexa S., MD

University of Cincinnati College of Medicine

Harvard Medical School

Yale School of Medicine

George Washington School of Medicine

DUKE UNIVERSITY SCHOOL OF MEDICINE

NYU Grossman School of Medicine

Columbia University Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons

University of California San Francisco School of Medicine

Most frequent questions and answers about our services.

Our carefully-selected editing team is currently made up of physicians and medical students who have completed our rigorous screening, application, and training process.  Some of our editors have either sat on admissions committees or have contributed in some capacity to admissions at their school.  It’s critical for your essays to be viewed from multiple different perspectives, so we make it a priority to have a very diverse team of editors.

This number is based off of the number of applicants who got back to us saying whether or not they were accepted into at least one medical school.

In order to be an editor for Motivate MD, the person needs to check off two boxes. 1. They were accepted and currently attend or graduated from medical school. 2. They have an expertise for English writing.  Both a medical student and physician can check off those boxes. We strongly believe that just because someone is a physician does not mean they are qualified to review essays.

That being said, we do have a few physicians a part of our team who are extremely talented. We primarily like to have medical students be editors for one simple reason: They are closer to the medical school application process.

This can vary depending on the time of the year (there is a huge influx of essays from late May through August), but we always have a team goal to get reviews back to people within 48 hours. We have a guarantee of a 2-3 day turnaround. We strive for timely delivery, however, quality and effectiveness are our main priorities.

After you purchase a review package, you will get an email with what the next steps are. All drafts and reviews are sent via email.

You will receive a confirmation email for your purchase (check your trash/spam folders, if you don’t see it after a day) that outlines the immediate next steps in our review process. 

The short answer is no.  Although we started by reviewing only medical school application essays, we have been able to cater our editing secrets to make any essay memorable. 

We have helped those applying to medical residencies, PA school, dental school, nursing school, and grad/law school create very effective and unique essays.  Just give us any information you can during the checkout process to help us optimize our reviews to fit your specific situation!

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Ansel N., MD/PhD

Radiation Oncology Resident Former Medical School: Ohio State

My name is Ansel Nalin. I am a current Radiation Oncology resident at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, TX. I graduated from the Ohio State University College of Medicine MD/PhD program.

While in medical school, I tutored first- and second-year medical students, helping them review lecture material and prepare for block exams. I taught study strategies to first-year students adjusting to the medical school curriculum. I worked individually with students during board exam preparation. I also led a review course for MD/PhD students prior to taking Step 1. In addition to my role as a tutor, I was also selected by the Ohio State College of Medicine Academic Office staff to serve in a leadership role for two years. In this role I led the team of 40 students on the peer tutoring team. I met weekly with College of Medicine staff to plan academic programs benefitting first- and second-year medical students. Together we organized and managed academic resources for medical students including our peer tutoring programs, group review sessions, and student-led review lectures. I coordinated the tutoring assignments for medical students involved in the program; over 100 students utilized the programs. We oversaw the creation of new student-led anatomy review sessions that were incorporated into the medical school academic program.

While enrolled in the MD/PhD program, I completed my PhD in cancer immunology studying natural killer cell development. I also collaborated on translational research projects seeking to identify new cell-based therapies for cancer. I published multiple papers in high impact journals and had the opportunity to present my work at both local and international conferences. I continue to pursue research that develops immune-based therapies for cancer and plan to pursue a career as a physician-scientist.

I joined the team at Motivate MD to help students achieve their goals in medicine. I have benefitted from the support of many outstanding mentors, and I strive to have a similarly positive impact in helping students succeed. My experiences as a tutor and teaching assistant, in both undergraduate and medical school, have helped me develop excellent skills in communication and mentoring. In addition to my teaching and leadership experience, I have developed specific skills to help students with the application and interview process for medical school and residency programs.

Not only am I familiar with what makes a strong application, I am prepared to help students highlight their strengths in their essays and interviews. I have extensive writing and speaking experience from my graduate studies. I have coached other students in communicating effectively. From my own experience in interviewing for medical school and residency, I can help students gain confidence in their communication skills and clearly express their motivations and goals. As a member of the Motivate MD team, I am passionate about helping students work toward their goal of a successful career in medicine.

I am an OBGYN resident and graduate of the University of Cincinnati. Throughout medical school, I engaged in research at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital and UCCOM’s OBGYN department. I have a strong background in mentorship. In medical school, I was a part of an organization that would mentor local Cincinnati youths. I was also involved in mentoring medical students in the years below through her medical scholar’s program. I also have a lot of experience editing medical school essays and mentoring my scribes when I was a chief scribe during my gap years. I took two years off prior to applying for medical school. During this time, I completed research at WashU with a neuroimaging lab as a clinical research coordinator and scribed in an emergency department. The medical application process was daunting for me. I went through the process of taking the MCAT multiple times and struggled to figure out where I would be a competitive applicant. I chose to work for Motivate MD to assist students with this intimidating process and help in areas where I felt I was lacking guidance prior to medical school! I am very excited to get the opportunity to work with you!

Jisoo is a medical student at Harvard Medical School. She has a background in neurobiology wet-lab research, and has a strong interest in mentorship, especially of underserved populations. Everyone has a unique journey to medical school, and Jisoo is committed to helping applicants present their own unique journeys in a meaningful and comprehensive manner. She has lots of experience working with individuals that have diverse pathways to medical school and closely collaborates with applicants from the beginning to the end of their application process, providing individualized support for each applicant.

Hi! My name is Rhys (pronounced like “Reese’s Pieces”) and I am a medical student at Yale School of Medicine.

I have upwards of 9 years experience mentoring peers, most recently aiding students through the premedical path at my undergrad. I also have worked as an executive function/planning tutor for Los Angeles area high school and college students. Earlier in college, I worked as a research aide/teaching assistant helping students leverage “writing-to-learn” in order to improve their understanding of complex concepts.

After graduating  Summa Cum Laude  with a Bachelors of Science in Biomedical Engineering and Health Policy from the University of Southern California in 2021, I took a gap year primarily to scribe at a pediatric clinic to boost my clinical experience hours and to continue to work on a philanthropic start-up I co-founded while at USC.

At USC, I had multiple research experiences ranging from biomedical device research in a hybrid wet lab to policy analysis. I also was heavily involved in pro-bono consulting for non-profits and social enterprises.

I have personal experience approaching the common “Why Medicine?” question from a non-traditional angle (engineering major/activities and low clinical hours compared to non-clinical), tying in a non-standard major “X factor” extracurricular into the overall theme of an application, and expressing interest in dual degrees/interdisciplinary medical careers (policy, public health etc).

I look forward to helping you plan for and execute your unique path to medical school!

George Washington School of Medicine and Health Sciences

Hi Everyone! My name is Anthu Gnanakumar and I am a medical student at the George Washington School of Medicine and Health Sciences. I majored in neuroscience and minored in English at the University of Virginia prior to taking a gap year and attending medical school. During my gap year, I worked as a medical assistant (MA) at endocrinology and pediatric primary care practices. I really value the hands-on experience I got through being an MA and would highly recommend taking a gap year if you are at all considering it!

I remember being daunted by the significant uptick in medical school applications during the pandemic and can empathize with the ever-increasing competitiveness of getting into medical school. I have mentored and advised multiple peers and friends from high school and college as they navigated the application process and look forward to extending that mentorship to many of you. It is my hope that we can work together to shape your narrative into meaningful essays and interview responses!

Duke University School of Medicine

Hi all! My name is Arthi and I’m a medical student at Duke. I am originally from New Jersey and went to Duke for undergrad where I was able to discover interests in medical humanities, global health, and peer mentorship. Having previously taught in an art studio, I found ways to engage with medical humanities through storytelling and creative arts with elders with dementia. In medical school, I help run a program that allows admitted patients to share their life story and with cartoon creations to simplify medical diagnoses. I also majored in global health and worked on projects in based in Uganda and India during undergrad that focused on studying how evidence-based interventions actually function in practice. I spent my gap year as a global health research assistant which allowed me to gain experience with all stages of project initiation, management, and dissemination. I’m working towards spending Duke’s MS3 research year engaging with global health implementation research on site. I don’t have any family in medicine so I asked for a lot of advice from upperclassmen and medical students throughout. I was a peer tutor for over 3 years and during my senior year, I started a peer advising program that’s goal was to reach beyond just academics. During that time, I mentored many premed students on course choice, finding research and volunteering experiences, applying to summer program and gap year jobs, MCAT, and building a school list. I continued many of these relationships since graduating and have been able to provide continued support through brainstorming and editing primary and secondary applications, interview prep, and ultimately decision making. One thing I’ve come to learn from my process and that my classmates is that there isn’t one right way to do things and it can be valuable to talk through and understand your priorities and the things that make you the most excited and craft your application around those. I know how stressful and draining each step of the application process can be and I would love the chance to provide some of guidance and support I received at whichever turn you need.

NYU Grossman School of Medicine Admissions Committee Experience

Hi! My name is Kate and I’m a current medical student at NYU Grossman School of Medicine in New York City! I’m originally from Kingsport, Tennessee and attended Clemson University where I completed my undergraduate degree in Chemical Engineering and a master’s degree in Applied Health Research. I have many years of experience as an advisor and mentor, mainly through working as study abroad ambassador and as a peer tutor and peer mentor through a Women in Engineering organization at my school. Later in college, I also worked as a teaching assistant for a challenging chemical engineering course in my degree. I also volunteered my time as a tour guide and was able to provide loads of advice and guidance to future students through that role. While finishing my master’s degree at Clemson University, I worked as a scribe at a gastroenterology clinic to boost my clinical experience hours. During this time, I also served as a mentor and health coach for a local volunteer organization with a mission to help people get off of government assistance. At Clemson, I had multiple research experiences ranging from social psychology to OB/GYN clinical research. I was also heavily involved with STEM outreach at local schools, ran a pitch competition, and volunteered as a conversational partner for international students who were learning English. I also spent the summer after I graduated college working at Interlochen Arts Camp as a camp counselor and reigniting my passion for theatre and the arts. I have had a slightly more non-traditional path to medicine (engineering degree/extracurriculars, taking a year to do a master’s, working at an arts camp), and I have a lot of experience in how to best weave together your own unique story in order to stand out to admissions committees. As a current medical student, I now spend my time working as an Admissions Ambassador and serving as a mentor to incoming students. I also currently interview for my medical school and so I can provide a lot of insight as I’ve sat on both sides of the Zoom interview screen. I look forward to helping you put your best foot forward in your applications and interviews for medical school!

Hello! I am a medical student at Columbia University Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons planning to apply into neurology this upcoming fall. I have extensive mentoring and advising experience both prior to medical school, when I served as a peer advisor for my undergraduate institution’s pre-health club, and as a medical student, continuing to advise undergraduates on essay writing, interview preparation, and general application and career advice. I also work as a mentor in the local community, tutoring and advising 8 th grade and high school age students interested in the health sciences. I have significant research and publication experience beginning as an undergraduate and continuing throughout medical school, having published four first-author manuscripts while contributing to multiple others. Prior to medical school, I spent a gap year as a National Institutes of Health Post-baccalaureate Intramural Research Training Award fellow, a role in which I studied Alzheimer’s disease proteomics and metabolomics. Currently, my research focus has shifted towards neuroinfectious diseases and contributions of infectious exposures to lifetime dementia risk. In addition to clinical medicine, I have a strong interest in public health and anthropology that informs my research and clinical pursuits. 

Hello! My name is Jessica, and I am a medical student at the University of California San Francisco School of Medicine. I completed my undergraduate degree in Molecular & Cellular Biology at Johns Hopkins University, along with a minor in Entrepreneurship & Management. At Hopkins, I played on the varsity tennis team, served as a peer tutor, and volunteered at the JHH Sickle Cell Infusion Center. After graduating from college, I took on a full-time position at the Sickle Cell Infusion Center as a clinical research coordinator. I stayed in this role for one gap year, where I ran the largest registry of sickle cell disease patients in the United States, helping to characterize disparities faced in health outcomes and access to care. Since starting medical school, I have become heavily involved in cervical cancer research, volunteering at the Chinese Hospital in downtown San Francisco, and advocating for vulnerable populations. As a first-generation medical student, I understand how overwhelming the application process is and how vital near-peer guidance can be. I’ve helped several applicants through their application writing and interview process, who will all be matriculating to medical school this upcoming fall. I look forward to helping you curate your own story, put your best foot forward, and pursue your dream career!

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

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McDonald’s is ending its test run of AI-powered drive-thrus with IBM

FILE - A McDonald’s restaurant is seen, Feb. 14, 2018, in Ridgeland, Miss. McDonald’s confirmed, Tuesday, June 18, 2024, that it’s decided to end a global partnership with IBM, which has been testing an artifical intelligence technology at select McDonald’s drive thrus since 2021.(AP Photo/Rogelio V. Solis, File)

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NEW YORK (AP) — Ever get your McDonald’s order mixed up at an AI-powered drive-thru? The experiment behind the fast food giant’s current automated order taker will soon be coming to a close.

McDonald’s confirmed Monday that it decided to end a global partnership with IBM, which has been testing this artificial intelligence technology at select McDonald’s drive-thrus since 2021.

That doesn’t mean you’ll never encounter some sort of chatbot while picking up fries on your car ride home again. While the IBM partnership for McDonald’s current automated order taker test is winding down, the Chicago-based company suggested that it wasn’t ruling out other potential AI drive-thru plans down the road — pointing to “an opportunity to explore voice ordering solutions more broadly.”

“Our work with IBM has given us the confidence that a voice ordering solution for drive-thru will be part of our restaurants’ future,” McDonald’s said in a prepared statement this week, adding that it would continue evaluations to “make an informed decision on a future voice ordering solution by the end of the year.”

Numerous fast food chains have begun exploring the implementation of AI across operations over recent years, with many pointing to possibilities of maximizing speed and cutting costs.

In the U.S., Wendy’s partnered with Google Cloud to develop “Wendy’s FreshAI” chatbot. White Castle teamed up with SoundHound AI with a goal of bringing voice-powered AI technology to more than 100 restaurants by the end of 2024. And a handful of Panera, Arby’s and Popeyes locations have brought OpenCity’s “Tori” voice assistant to their order lanes.

Beyond America, Popeyes U.K. also launched its first AI-powered drive-thru (dubbed “Al”) last month, after the company said a pilot program reported 97% accuracy.

Success for AI-powered drive-thrus has been mixed. McDonald’s automated order taker with IBM received scores of complaints in recent years, for example — with many taking to social media to document the chatbot misunderstanding their orders.

One 2023 TikTok , appears to show the drive-thru assistant place order after order of McDonald’s chicken nuggets on one car’s tab, despite the customers asking it to stop while laughing. Additional posts show an array of other mishaps — such as it adding strange extras, like ice cream with ketchup and butter , or picking up orders from other nearby cars .

Unnamed sources familiar with the technology told CNBC that the technology has had difficulty interpreting different accents and dialects, among other challenges affecting order accuracy.

McDonald’s declined to comment about the automated order taker’s accuracy. In an initial statement, IBM said that “this technology is proven to have some of the most comprehensive capabilities in the industry, fast and accurate in some of the most demanding conditions,” but did not immediately respond to a request for further comment about specifics of potential challenges.

The Armonk, New York-based tech company also said that it is currently “in discussions and pilots” with several other quick-serve restaurant clients interested in the automated order taker.

According to trade publication Restaurant Business and CNBC, which obtained a memo sent to franchisees last week, the automated order technology will be shut off in McDonald’s locations testing it “no later than July 26, 2024.”

Both IBM and McDonald’s maintained that, while their AI drive-thru partnership was ending, the two would continue their relationship on other projects. McDonald’s said that it still plans to use many of IBM’s products across its global system.

In December, McDonald’s launched a multi-year partnership with Google Cloud. In addition to moving restaurant computations from servers into the cloud, the partnership is also set to apply generative AI “across a number of key business priorities” in restaurants around the world.

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IRS enters next stage of Employee Retention Credit work; review indicates vast majority show risk of being improper

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Highest-risk claims being denied, additional processing to begin on low-risk claims; heightened scrutiny and review continues as compliance work tops $2 billion; IRS will consult with Congress on potential legislative action before making decision on future of moratorium

IR-2024-169, June 20, 2024

WASHINGTON — Following a detailed review to protect taxpayers and small businesses, the Internal Revenue Service today announced plans to deny tens of thousands of improper high-risk Employee Retention Credit claims while starting a new round of processing lower-risk claims to help eligible taxpayers.

“The completion of this review provided the IRS with new insight into risky Employee Retention Credit activity and confirmed widespread concerns about a large number of improper claims,” said IRS Commissioner Danny Werfel. “We will now use this information to deny billions of dollars in clearly improper claims and begin additional work to issue payments to help taxpayers without any red flags on their claims.”

“This is one of the most complex credits the IRS has administered, and we continue to ask taxpayers for patience as we unravel this complex process,” Werfel added. “Ultimately, this period will help us protect taxpayers against improper payouts that flooded the system and get checks to those truly eligible.”

The review involved months of digitizing information and analyzing data since last September to assess a group of more than 1 million Employee Retention Credit (ERC) claims representing more than $86 billion filed amid aggressive marketing last year.

During this process, the IRS identified between 10% and 20% of claims fall into what the agency has determined to be the highest-risk group, which show clear signs of being erroneous claims for the pandemic-era credit. Tens of thousands of these will be denied in the weeks ahead. This high-risk group includes filings with warning signals that clearly fall outside the guidelines established by Congress.

In addition to this highest risk group, the IRS analysis also estimates between 60% and 70% of the claims show an unacceptable level of risk. For this category of claims with risk indicators, the IRS will be conducting additional analysis to gather more information with a goal of improving the agency’s compliance review, speeding resolution of valid claims while protecting against improper payments.

At the same time, the IRS continues to be concerned about small businesses waiting on legitimate claims, and the agency is taking more action to help. Between 10% and 20% of the ERC claims show a low risk. For those with no eligibility warning signs that were received prior to the last fall’s moratorium, the IRS will begin judiciously processing more of these claims.

The IRS anticipates some of the first payments in this group will go out later this summer. But the IRS emphasized these will go out at a dramatically slower pace than payments that went out during the pandemic period given the need for increased scrutiny.

As the additional IRS processing work begins at a measured pace, other claims will begin being paid later this summer following a final review. This additional review is needed because the submissions may have calculation errors made during the complex filings. For those claims with calculation errors, the amount claimed will be adjusted before payment.

The IRS also noted that generally the oldest claims will be worked first, and no claims submitted during the moratorium period will be processed at this time.

No additional action needed by taxpayers at this time; await further notification from the IRS

The IRS cautioned taxpayers who filed ERC claims that the process will take time, and the agency warned that processing speeds will not return to levels that occurred last summer. Taxpayers with claims do not need to take any action at this point, and they should await further notification from the IRS. The agency emphasized those with ERC claims should not call IRS toll-free lines because additional information is generally not available on these claims as processing work continues.

“These complex claims take time, and the IRS remains deeply concerned about how many taxpayers have been misled and deluded by promoters into thinking they’re eligible for a big payday. The reality is many aren’t,” Werfel said. “People may think they are on safe ground, but many are simply not eligible under the law. The IRS continues to urge those with pending claims to use this period to review the guideline checklist on IRS.gov, talk to a legitimate tax professional rather than a promoter and use the special IRS withdrawal program when there’s an issue.”

Werfel also cautioned taxpayers to be wary of promoters using today’s announcement as a springboard to attract more clients to file ERC claims.

“The whole world has changed involving Employee Retention Credits since the deepest days of the pandemic,” Werfel said. “Anyone applying for this credit needs to talk to a trusted tax professional and closely review the eligibility requirements, not someone playing fast and loose and trying to make a fast buck off well-meaning taxpayers. People need to be cautious of promoters trying to take advantage of today’s announcement to drive more business. People should remember the IRS continues to be very active in our compliance lanes on Employee Retention Credits.”

Steps taken since September 2023 when processing moratorium on new ERC claims began

During the ERC review period, the IRS continued to process claims received prior to September 2023. The agency processed 28,000 claims worth $2.2 billion and disallowed more than 14,000 claims worth more than $1 billion.

The ERC program began as a critical effort to help businesses during the pandemic, but the program later became the target of aggressive marketing well after the pandemic ended. Some promoter groups may have called the credit by another name, such as a grant, business stimulus payment, government relief or other names besides ERC or the Employee Retention Tax Credit (ERTC).

To counter the flood of claims being driven by promoters, the IRS announced last fall a moratorium on processing claims submitted after Sept. 14, 2023, to give the agency time to digitize information on the large study group of nearly 1 million ERC claims, which are made on amended paper tax returns. The subsequent analysis of the results during this period helped the IRS evaluate next steps, providing the IRS valuable information to change the way the agency will process ERC claims going forward.

The findings of the IRS review confirmed concerns raised by tax professionals and others that there was an extremely high rate of improper ERC claims.

The claims followed a flurry of aggressive marketing and promotions last year that led to people being misled into filing for the ERC. After the moratorium was put in place on Sept. 14, the IRS has continued to see ERC claims continuing to come in at the rate of more than 17,000 a week, with the ERC inventory currently at 1.4 million.

In light of the large inventory and the results of the ERC review, the IRS will keep the processing moratorium in place on ERC claims submitted after Sept. 14, 2023. The IRS will use this period to gather additional feedback from partners, including Congress and others, on the future course of ERC.

“We decided to keep the post-September moratorium in place because we continue to be concerned about the substantial number of claims coming in so long after the pandemic,” Werfel said. “These claims are clogging the system for legitimate taxpayers. We worry that ending the moratorium might trigger a gold rush by aggressive marketers that could lead to a new round of improper claims, which would be a bad result for taxpayers or tax administration. We will use this time to consult with Congress and seek additional help from them on the ERC program, including potentially closing down new claims entirely and seeking an extension of the statute of limitations to allow the agency more time to pursue improper claims.”

Special IRS Withdrawal Program remains open for those with unprocessed ERC claims

Given the large number of questionable claims indicated by the new review, the IRS continues to urge those with unprocessed claims to consider the special IRS ERC Withdrawal Program to avoid future compliance issues.

Businesses should quickly pursue the claim withdrawal process if they need to ask the IRS to not process an ERC claim for any tax period that hasn’t been paid yet. Taxpayers who received an ERC check — but haven’t cashed or deposited it — can also use this process to withdraw the claim and return the check. The IRS will treat the claim as though the taxpayer never filed it. No interest or penalties will apply.

With more than 1.4 million unprocessed ERC claims, the claim withdrawal process remains an important option for businesses who may have submitted an improper claim.

IRS compliance work tops $2 billion from Voluntary Disclosure Program, withdrawal process, disallowances

The IRS also announced today that compliance efforts around erroneous ERC claims have now topped more than $2 billion since last fall. This is nearly double the amount announced in March following completion of the special ERC Voluntary Disclosure Program (VDP), which the IRS announced led to the disclosure of $1.09 billion from over 2,600 applications. The IRS is currently considering reopening the VDP at a reduced rate for those with previously processed claims to avoid future compliance action by the IRS.

Compliance work on previously processed ERC claims continue, and work continues on a number of efforts to counter questionable claims:

• The ongoing claim withdrawal process for those with unprocessed ERC claims has led to more than 4,800 entities withdrawing $531 million.
• The IRS has determined that more than 12,000 entities filed over 22,000 claims that were improper and resulted in $572 million in assessments. This initial round of letters covers Tax Year 2020. Thousands more of these letters are planned in coming months to address Tax Year 2021, which involved larger claims. Congress increased the maximum ERC from $5,000 per employee per year in 2020, to $7,000 per employee for each quarter of the year in 2021.
• More than 2,600 applications for the special ERC Voluntary Disclosure Program (VDP) , which ended in March, disclosed $1.09 billion.

The IRS is currently assessing whether to reopen the special ERC Voluntary Disclosure Program to help taxpayers get into compliance on paid claims and avoid future IRS compliance action, including audits. If the program reopens, the IRS anticipates the terms will not be as favorable as the initial offering that closed in the spring. A decision will be made in coming weeks.

The IRS also reminded those with pending claims or considering submitting an ERC claim about other compliance actions underway:

Criminal investigations: As of May 31, 2024, IRS Criminal Investigation has initiated 450 criminal cases, with potentially fraudulent claims worth nearly $7 billion. In all, 36 investigations have resulted in federal charges so far, with 16 investigations resulting in convictions and seven sentencings with an average sentence of 25 months.

Audits: The IRS has thousands of ERC claims currently under audit.

Promoter investigations: The IRS is gathering information about suspected abusive tax promoters and preparers improperly promoting the ability to claim the ERC. The IRS’s Office of Promoter Investigations has received hundreds of referrals from internal and external sources. The IRS will continue civil and criminal enforcement efforts of these unscrupulous promoters and preparers.

Help for businesses with eligibility questions and those misled by promoters

Some promoters told taxpayers every employer qualifies for ERC. The IRS and the tax professional community emphasize that this is not true. Eligibility depends on specific facts and circumstances. The IRS has dozens of resources to help people learn about and check ERC eligibility and businesses can also consult their trusted tax professional . Key IRS materials to help show taxpayers if they have a risky ERC claim include:

• ERC Eligibility Checklist (interactive version and a printable guide PDF ) includes cautions about common areas of misinformation and links to facts and examples.
• 7 warning signs ERC claims may be incorrect outlines tactics that unscrupulous promoters have used and why their points are wrong.
• Frequently asked questions about the Employee Retention Credit includes eligibility rules, definitions, examples and more.
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Income Tax Return: How to easily access and review your Annual Information Statement with a click

Form 26as is directly available to you via the income tax e-filing portal. however, after logging in, accessing ais might necessitate going to a different ais portal..

The deadline for filing ITRs for the financial year 2023-24 (Assessment year 2024-25) is July 31, 2024. With just over a month remaining, now is an ideal moment to begin gathering the necessary documents required to complete your income tax return (ITR) form.

To start with, you need the Annual Information Statement (AIS), which is essential for filing your ITR in India, serving as a comprehensive record of all your financial transactions reported to the Income Tax department. Here’s an overview of its significance and how it complements Form 26AS:

Scope : The AIS offers a broader spectrum of information compared to Form 26AS. It encompasses details such as Tax Deducted at Source (TDS), Tax Collected at Source (TCS), interest income, dividend income, transactions involving securities and mutual funds, and other relevant financial activities. This comprehensive coverage ensures that all income sources and eligible tax deductions are accounted for accurately during the filing of your ITR form.

Verification : By reviewing the AIS, you can ensure the accuracy of the information compared to your own records. If discrepancies are found, you can address them promptly through the AIS portal, preventing errors or delays in filing your ITR.

Simplicity : Consolidating all financial transactions into a single document streamlines the ITR filing process, eliminating the need to gather documents from multiple sources.

ALSO READ : Income Tax Filing 2024: What to do if Form 16 data mismatches ITR prefilled form?

How to access and review your AIS for filing ITR?

Here’s a step-by-step guide to accessing and reviewing your AIS before filing your ITR form in India:

Step 1 : Visit the official website of the Income Tax Department of India. To log in, ensure you are registered and use your Permanent Account Number (PAN) as the user ID.

Step 2 : You can find the AIS statement using either of the following methods:

• On the dashboard, navigate to the “Annual Information Statement (AIS)" menu and select it.
• Click on the “e-File" menu, then go to “Income Tax Return" and choose “View AIS".
• Once you select “View AIS", click on “AIS". This will redirect you to a separate AIS portal. Then, proceed by clicking the “Proceed" button.

Step 3 : Once on the AIS homepage, you'll see your Taxpayer Information Summary (TIS) and the AIS tile. Next, choose the proper fiscal year. The AIS contains information for multiple fiscal years, so select the one that corresponds to the ITR you're filing.

ALSO READ : Income Tax Return: How to maximise your tax refunds while filing ITR?

Key areas covered by AIS

The AIS offers a detailed breakdown of a variety of financial transactions . Here are some essential sections to review:

• Check that the deducted amount matches your Form 16 or other TDS certificates.
• Verify the veracity of the tax collected on specific transactions.

The AIS section outlines a range of financial activities reported by banks and institutions, including interest income, dividend income , and transactions involving securities and mutual funds. Reviewing your AIS provides a comprehensive view of your income sources, tax deductions, and identifies any discrepancies that require correction.

In essence, AIS functions as an upgraded version of Form 26AS, offering a more comprehensive and user-friendly method to review your tax information before filing your ITR.

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