how to increase self esteem essay

5 ways to build lasting self-esteem

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Everyone is in favor of high self-esteem — but cultivating it can be surprisingly tough. Psychologist Guy Winch explains why — and describes smart ways we can help build ourselves up.

Many of us recognize the value of improving our feelings of self-worth. When our self-esteem is higher, we not only feel better about ourselves, we are more resilient as well. Brain scan studies demonstrate that when our self-esteem is higher, we are likely to experience common emotional wounds such as rejection  and failure  as less painful, and bounce back from them more quickly. When our self-esteem is higher, we are also less vulnerable to anxiety ; we release less cortisol into our bloodstream when under stress, and it is  less likely to linger in our system.

But as wonderful as it is to have higher self-esteem, it turns out that improving it is no easy task. Despite the endless array of articles, programs and products promising to enhance our self-esteem, the reality is that many of them do not work and some are even likely to make us feel worse .

Part of the problem is that our self-esteem is rather unstable to begin with, as it can fluctuate daily, if not hourly. Further complicating matters, our self-esteem comprises both our global feelings about ourselves as well as how we feel about ourselves in the specific domains of our lives (e.g., as a father, a nurse, an athlete, etc.).  The more meaningful a specific domain of self-esteem, the greater the impact it has on our global self-esteem. Having someone wince when they taste the not-so-delicious dinner you prepared will hurt a chef’s self-esteem much more than someone for whom cooking is not a significant aspect of their identity.

Lastly, having high self-esteem is indeed a good thing, but only in moderation. Very high self-esteem — like that of narcissists — is often quite brittle. Such people might feel great about themselves much of the time but they also tend to be extremely vulnerable to criticism and negative feedback and respond to it in ways that stunts their psychological self-growth .

That said, it is certainly possible to improve our self-esteem if we go about it the right way. Here are five ways to nourish your self-esteem when it is low:

1. Use positive affirmations correctly

Positive affirmations such as “I am going to be a great success!” are extremely popular, but they have one critical problem — they tend to make people with low self-worth feel worse about themselves. Why? Because when our self-esteem is low, such declarations are simply too contrary to our existing beliefs . Ironically, positive affirmations do work for one subset of people — those whose self-esteem is already high. For affirmations to work when your self-esteem is lagging, tweak them to make them more believable. For example, change “I’m going to be a great success!” to “I’m going to persevere until I succeed!”

2. Identify your competencies and develop them

Self-esteem is built by demonstrating real ability and achievement in areas of our lives that matter to us. If you pride yourself on being a good cook, throw more dinner parties. If you’re a good runner, sign up for races and train for them. In short, figure out your core competencies and find opportunities and careers that accentuate them.  

3. Learn to accept compliments

One of the trickiest aspects of improving self-esteem is that when we feel bad about ourselves we tend to be more resistant to compliments  — even though that is when we most need them. So, set yourself the goal to tolerate compliments when you receive them, even if they make you uncomfortable (and they will). The best way to avoid the reflexive reactions of batting away compliments is to prepare simple set responses and train yourself to use them automatically whenever you get good feedback (e.g., “Thank you” or “How kind of you to say”). In time, the impulse to deny or rebuff compliments will fade — which will also be a nice indication your self-esteem is getting stronger.

4. Eliminate self-criticism and introduce self-compassion 

Unfortunately, when our self-esteem is low, we are likely to damage it even further by being self-critical. Since our goal is to enhance our self-esteem, we need to substitute self-criticism (which is almost always entirely useless, even if it feels compelling) with self-compassion . Specifically, whenever your self-critical inner monologue kicks in, ask yourself what you would say to a dear friend if they were in your situation (we tend to be much more compassionate to friends than we are to ourselves) and direct those comments to yourself. Doing so will avoid damaging your self-esteem further with critical thoughts, and help build it up instead.

5. Affirm your real worth

The following exercise has been demonstrated to help revive your self-esteem after it sustained a blow:  Make a list of qualities you have that are meaningful in the specific context. For example, if you got rejected by your date, list qualities that make you a good relationship prospect (for example, being loyal or emotionally available); if you failed to get a work promotion, list qualities that make you a valuable employee (you have a strong work ethic or are responsible). Then choose one of the items on your list and write a brief essay (one to two paragraphs) about why the quality is valuable and likely to be appreciated by other people in the future. Do the exercise every day for a week or whenever you need a self-esteem boost.

The bottom line is improving self-esteem requires a bit of work, as it involves developing and maintaining healthier emotional habits but doing so, and especially doing so correctly, will provide a great emotional and psychological return on your investment.

About the author

Guy Winch is a licensed psychologist who is a leading advocate for integrating the science of emotional health into our daily lives. His three TED Talks have been viewed over 20 million times, and his science-based self-help books have been translated into 26 languages. He also writes the Squeaky Wheel blog for PsychologyToday.com and has a private practice in New York City.

• mental health
• self-esteem

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Essay on Self Esteem

Students are often asked to write an essay on Self Esteem in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Self Esteem

Understanding self-esteem.

Self-esteem is the opinion we have about ourselves. It’s about how much we value and respect ourselves. High self-esteem means you think highly of yourself, while low self-esteem means you don’t.

Importance of Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is important because it heavily influences our choices and decisions. It allows us to live life to our potential. High self-esteem leads to confidence, happiness, fulfillment, and achievement.

Building Self-Esteem

Building self-esteem requires positive self-talk, self-acceptance, and self-love. It’s about focusing on your strengths, forgiving your mistakes, and celebrating your achievements.

250 Words Essay on Self Esteem

Introduction.

Self-esteem, a fundamental concept in psychology, refers to an individual’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of their own worth. It encompasses beliefs about oneself and emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame. It is a critical aspect of personal identity, shaping our perception of the world and our place within it.

The Dual Facet of Self-Esteem

Self-esteem can be divided into two types: high and low. High self-esteem is characterized by a positive self-image and confidence, while low self-esteem is marked by self-doubt and criticism. Both types significantly influence our mental health, relationships, and life outcomes.

Impact of Self-Esteem

High self-esteem can lead to positive outcomes. It encourages risk-taking, resilience, and optimism, fostering success in various life domains. Conversely, low self-esteem can result in fear of failure, social anxiety, and susceptibility to mental health issues like depression. Thus, it’s crucial to nurture self-esteem for psychological well-being.

Building self-esteem involves recognizing one’s strengths and weaknesses and accepting them. It requires self-compassion and challenging negative self-perceptions. Positive affirmations, setting and achieving goals, and maintaining healthy relationships can all contribute to enhancing self-esteem.

In conclusion, self-esteem is a complex, multifaceted construct that significantly influences our lives. It is not static and can be improved with conscious effort. Understanding and nurturing our self-esteem is vital for achieving personal growth and leading a fulfilling life.

500 Words Essay on Self Esteem

Self-esteem, a fundamental aspect of psychological health, is the overall subjective emotional evaluation of one’s self-worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. The importance of self-esteem lies in the fact that it concerns our perceptions and beliefs about ourselves, which can shape our experiences and actions.

The Two Types of Self-esteem

Self-esteem can be classified into two types: high and low. High self-esteem indicates a highly favorable impression of oneself, whereas low self-esteem reflects a negative view. People with high self-esteem generally feel good about themselves and value their worth, while those with low self-esteem usually harbor negative feelings about themselves, often leading to feelings of inadequacy, incompetence, and unlovability.

Factors Influencing Self-esteem

Self-esteem is shaped by various factors throughout our lives, such as the environment, experiences, relationships, and achievements. Positive reinforcement, success, and supportive relationships often help to foster high self-esteem, while negative feedback, failure, and toxic relationships can contribute to low self-esteem. However, it’s important to note that self-esteem is not a fixed attribute; it can change over time and can be improved through cognitive and behavioral interventions.

Impact of Self-esteem on Life

Self-esteem significantly impacts individuals’ mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. High self-esteem can lead to positive outcomes, such as better stress management, resilience, and life satisfaction. On the other hand, low self-esteem is associated with mental health issues like depression and anxiety. It can also lead to poor academic and job performance, problematic relationships, and increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse.

Improving Self-esteem

Improving self-esteem requires a multifaceted approach. Cognitive-behavioral therapies can help individuals challenge their negative beliefs about themselves and develop healthier thought patterns. Regular physical activity, healthy eating, and adequate sleep can also boost self-esteem by improving physical health. Furthermore, positive social interactions and relationships can enhance self-esteem by providing emotional support and validation. Lastly, self-compassion and self-care practices can foster a more positive self-image and promote higher self-esteem.

In conclusion, self-esteem is a critical component of our psychological well-being, influencing our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It is shaped by various factors and can significantly impact our lives. However, it’s not a fixed attribute, and with the right strategies and support, individuals can improve their self-esteem, leading to better mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life. Therefore, understanding and fostering self-esteem is essential for personal growth and development.

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What Is Self-Confidence? (+ 9 Proven Ways to Increase It)

This movement started with a book published in 1969, in which psychologist Nathaniel Branden argued that most mental or emotional problems people faced could be traced back to low self-esteem. Branden laid the foundation for the Self-Esteem Movement with his assertion that improving an individual’s self-esteem could not only result in better performance but could even cure pathology.

Since then, there have been thousands of papers published and studies conducted on the relationship between success and self-esteem. This is a popular idea not only in literature but in more mainstream mediums as well. Before we begin exploring the complexities of self-esteem it is essential to unpack the differences between the overlapping concepts of self-efficacy , self-confidence, and self-esteem .

“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”

E.E. Cummings

Before you read on, we thought you might like to download our three Self-Compassion Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will not only increase your compassion and self-esteem but will also give you the tools to help your clients, students or employees show more kindness and compassion towards themselves.

This Article Contains

Defining the difference: self-efficacy, self-confidence, and self-esteem, popular theories of self-confidence, the importance of self-confidence, too much of good thing: the consequences of self-esteem education, the benefits of fear: practicing courage and building confidence, 9 lessons for practicing self-confidence, a take-home message: it’s a process, frequently asked questions.

While most people generally think of self-esteem and self-confidence as two names for the same thing, and probably rarely think about the term “self-efficacy,” these three terms hold slightly different meanings for the psychologists who study them (Druckman & Bjork, 1994; Oney, & Oksuzoglu-Guven, 2015).

What is Self-Efficacy?

Albert Bandura is arguably the most cited author on the subject of self-efficacy, and he defines self-efficacy as an individual’s beliefs about their capacity to influence the events in their own lives (Bandura, 1977).

This differs from self-esteem in an important way: the definition of self-esteem often rests on ideas about an individual’s worth or worthiness, while self-efficacy is rooted in beliefs about an individual’s capabilities to handle future situations . In this sense, self-esteem is more of a present-focused belief while self-efficacy is more of a forward-looking belief.

What is Self-Confidence?

This is likely the most used term for these related concepts outside of psychological research, but there is still some confusion about what exactly self-confidence is. One of the most cited sources about self-confidence refers to it as simply believing in oneself (Bénabou & Tirole, 2002).

Another popular article defines self-confidence as an individual’s expectations of performance and self-evaluations of abilities and prior performance (Lenney, 1977).

Finally, Psychology Dictionary Online defines self-confidence as an individual’s trust in his or her own abilities, capacities, and judgments, or belief that he or she can successfully face day to day challenges and demands (Psychology Dictionary Online).

Self-confidence also brings about more happiness. Typically, when you are confident in your abilities, you are happier due to your successes. When you are feeling better about your capabilities, the more energized and motivated you are to take action and achieve your goals .

Self-confidence, then, is similar to self-efficacy in that it tends to focus on the individual’s future performance; however, it seems to be based on prior performance, and so in a sense, it also focuses on the past.

Many psychologists tend to refer to self-efficacy when considering an individual’s beliefs about their abilities concerning a specific task or set of tasks, while self-confidence is more often referred to as a broader and more stable trait concerning an individual’s perceptions of overall capability.

What is Self-Esteem?

The most influential voices in self-esteem research were, arguably, Morris Rosenberg and Nathaniel Branden. In his 1965 book, Society and the Adolescent Self-Image, Rosenberg discussed his take on self-esteem and introduced his widely used accepted Self-Esteem Scale.

A Free PDF of the Rosenberg’s Self-Esteem Scale is available here .

His definition of self-esteem rested on the assumption that it was a relatively stable belief about one’s overall self-worth. This is a broad definition of self-esteem, defining it as a trait that is influenced by many different factors and is relatively difficult to change.

In contrast, Branden believes self-esteem is made up of two distinct components: self-efficacy, or the confidence we have in our ability to cope with life’s challenges, and self-respect, or the belief that we are deserving of happiness, love, and success (1969).

The definitions are similar, but it is worth noting that Rosenberg’s definition relies on beliefs about self-worth, a belief which can have wildly different meanings to different people, while Branden is more specific about which beliefs are involved in self-esteem.

What about those who have too much self-esteem? Could narcissism be the result of having too much self-esteem? A psychological definition would be that narcissism is an extreme amount of selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration.

Self-esteem at high and low levels can be damaging, so it is important to strike a balance in the middle. A realistic but positive view of the self is often ideal.

Where does self-esteem come from? What influence does it have on our lives? Self-esteem is often seen as a personality trait, which means it tends to be stable and enduring.

There are typically three components which make up self-esteem:

• Self-esteem is an essential human need that is vital for survival and normal, healthy development
• Self-esteem arises automatically from within based on a person’s beliefs and consciousness
• Self-esteem occurs in conjunction with a person’s thoughts, behaviors, feelings, and actions.

Self-esteem is one of the basic human motivations in Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Maslow would suggest that individuals need both esteem from other people as well as inner self-respect. These needs must be fulfilled in order for an individual to grow and thrive.

These needs must be fulfilled in order for an individual to grow and achieve self-actualization . Self-confidence and self-esteem are two closely related psychological phenomena, both based on past experiences and both looking forward at future performance.

With these definitions in hand, we can take a closer look at common beliefs and popular theories surrounding self-confidence and self-esteem.

As noted earlier, Branden’s theory of self-esteem became a widely referenced and understood theory, but there were also other theories and frameworks for understanding self-esteem in the psychological literature.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, an iconic although somewhat out-of-date framework in psychology, theorizes that there are several needs that humans must have met to be truly fulfilled, but, generally, the most basic needs must be met before more complex needs can be met (1943). In his pyramid, self-esteem is the second highest level of need, just under self-actualization.

According to Maslow, humans must have their needs of physiological stability, safety, love and belonging met before they can develop healthy self-esteem. He also noted that there are two kinds of self-esteem, a “higher” and a “lower,” the lower self-esteem derived from the respect of others, while the higher self-esteem comes from within.

In the years following his introduction of the hierarchy of needs, Maslow refined his theory to accommodate the instances of highly self-actualized people who are homeless or individuals who live in a dangerous area or war zone but are also high in self-esteem.

This hierarchy is no longer considered as a strict theory of unidirectional growth, but a more general explanation of how basic needs being met allow individuals the freedom and ability to achieve their more complex ones.

Terror Management Theory

A darker theory that delves a bit deeper into the human experience to explain self-confidence is the Terror Management Theory .

Terror Management Theory (TMT) is based on the idea that humans hold great potential for responding with terror to the awareness of their own mortality, and that worldviews that emphasize peoples’ beliefs in their own significance as humans protect them against this terror (Greenberg & Arndt, 2011).

TMT posits that self-esteem forms as a way to protect and buffer against anxiety, and subsequently, people strive for self-confidence and react negatively to anyone or anything that could undermine their beliefs in their comforting worldview .

Sociometer Theory

Mark Leary, a social psychologist who researches self-esteem in the context of evolutionary psychology, also contributed a theory of self-esteem to the literature.

The Sociometer Theory suggests that self-esteem is an internal gauge of the degree to which one is included vs. excluded by others (Leary, 2006). This theory rests on the conception of self-esteem as an internal individual perception of social acceptance and rejection.

There is some strong evidence for the accuracy and applicability of this theory. For example, studies have shown that the outcomes of events on people’s self-esteem generally match up with their assumptions about how the same events would cause other people to accept or reject them (Leary, Tambor, Terdal, & Downs, 1995).

Finally, evidence shows that social exclusion based on personal characteristics decreases self-esteem (Leary et al., 1995).

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“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Regardless of which theory you may personally subscribe to, the outcomes of high self-confidence are generally agreed upon by researchers.

A broad review of the correlates of self-esteem found that high self-esteem is associated with better health, better social lives, protection against mental disorders and social problems, healthy coping, and mental well-being (Mann, Hosman, Schaalma, & de Vries, 2004).

Children with high self-confidence perform better at school and, later in life, have higher job satisfaction in middle age. Self-esteem is also strongly linked to happiness, with higher levels of self-esteem predicting higher levels of happiness. High self-confidence has even been found to increase the chances of survival after a serious surgical procedure (Mann et al., 2004).

As noted earlier, there have been thousands of papers published on self-confidence or self-esteem, and many of these papers connect self-confidence with success in life.

Some studies show a strong relationship between self-confidence and positive mental health (Atherton et al., 2016; Clark & Gakuru, 2014; Gloppen, David-Ferdon, & Bates, 2010; Skenderis, 2015; Stankov, 2013; Stankov & Lee, 2014). The success of individuals with high self-esteem lies in these six attributes:

• A greater sense of self-worth
• Greater enjoyment in life and in activities
• Freedom from self-doubt
• Freedom from fear and anxiety, freedom from social anxiety, and less stress
• More energy and motivation to act
• More enjoyable time interacting with other people at social gatherings. When you are relaxed and confident others will feel at ease around you.

In less hopeful news, some research has shown that increasing confidence does not always lead to enhanced positive outcomes (Brinkman, Tichelaar, van Agtmael, de Vries, & Richir, 2015; Forsyth, Lawrence, Burnette, & Baumeister, 2007).

Journalists in mainstream media have pointed out that there are also negative correlates with self-confidence. For example, self-confidence has steadily increased over the last 50 years, and with it, narcissism and unrealistic expectations have also increased (Kremer, 2013). Maybe there is such a thing as “too much a good thing,” when we are building our children’s self-esteem.

Self-confidence or self-esteem has been praised in Western society for the past 25 years. During this time, it was believed that a positive self-image was the key to a happy and successful life, leading to the birth of the self-esteem era of education.

Children of this generation are taught in schools and at home to consider themselves to be special, to only focus on their positive traits , and to receive praise for very little accomplishment.

Recent research, however, suggests that these practices and beliefs, rather than protecting people from depression, may contribute to low motivation and a decrease in goal-directed behavior (Dweck, 2007).

If boosting self-confidence is better at increasing narcissism and ambition than achievement and success, what should we do? Do we ditch the idea of improving self-confidence?

Baumeister and colleagues have an answer. There are certain contexts where a boost of self-confidence can improve performance, and these opportunities should not be ignored.

They recommend continuing to boost self-esteem, but in a more measured and cautious manner (Baumeister et al., 2003). They encourage parents and teachers to give children praise in order to increase their self-confidence, but only as a reward for socially desirable behavior.

This method ensures that children receive some positive attention and have the opportunity to develop healthy self-esteem, and it does not run the risk of convincing children that they are exceedingly competent whether they work hard or not.

Steve Baskin (2011) lays out another positive move parents can take: letting their children fail.  Recently, parents have taken great care in shielding their children from pain and problems and forming a protective bubble of love and esteem-building around them. This often has the unintended consequence of not only protecting children from struggle but also from growth.

Baskin suggests taking a step back as parents, and letting children figure out how to deal with disappointment and pain, an undertaking that will likely result in the development of resilience and successful coping skills. If we want to encourage all children to not only feel their best but to also do their best, these seem like good solutions.

In his TED Talk Dr. Ivan Joseph (2012), a former athletic director and soccer coach connects his dedication to building self-confidence with his subsequent career success and encourages the audience to follow some tips to build healthy self-confidence in their children.

Fear exists to protect us from physical danger; it is our instinct to prevent ourselves from being eaten by a predator. However, in the absence of such predators and with protection designed into our homes, cars and parenting styles, fear has adapted to respond instead to modern day stresses, which can trigger past negative feelings of shame , hurt or fear.

These experiences operate in the background of our psyche, taking up mental bandwidth and memory, just like mobile apps which run in the background of your phone using memory and battery power.

When we stay in our comfort zone protected from these experiences by the familiarity of routine activities, we live life unaware of our ability to grow and develop new strengths and skills. The less we experience opportunities for mistakes and failure, the more scared we become of what could happen if we were to step outside of our comfort zone.

However, when we do take that plunge, even without confidence in our abilities, courage takes over. In the realm of the known, confidence operates without any hindrance, but in the realm of fear of the unknown courage takes over.

Courage is typically a more noble attribute than confidence because it requires greater strength, and typically a courageous person is one without limits for growth and success.

We can be grateful for fear. We can learn to eagerly embrace it, understand its origin and use it as a signpost for what needs to be dealt with, a powerful tool to declutter the mental closets. And just like actually cleaning out our closets, we can sort through what we want to keep and what no longer fits us . And when it’s cleared out we can feel renewed and energized.

But fear can’t always be overcome just by crossing your fingers and hoping for the best.

We, humans, are strange creatures. We expect our fear to disappear in an instant, however, we accept that we cannot just pick up the violin and play Vivaldi in an instant.

“To build confidence, you have to practice confidence”

Martin Seligman reminds us that a positive self-image by itself does not produce anything. A sustainable sense of security in oneself arises from positive and productive behavior (Seligman, 1996).

This is not to say that feeling secure and trusting in yourself is not important for wellbeing. High self-confidence or self-efficacy has been linked to many positive physical and mental health outcomes (Pajares, 1996).

Many of us would like to have higher self-confidence but struggle to overcome insecurity, fear, and negative self-talk. With some reflection, hard work, and perhaps a shift in perception we can work towards a strong and stable belief in ourselves.

“Wellbeing cannot just exist in our own head. It is a combination of actually having meaning, good relationships, and accomplishment.”

 Martin Seligman

1. Stand or Sit in a Posture of Confidence

Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy and others have studied the positive effects of confident body postures on our hormones.

Look for the sensations of confidence and practice feeling them more in your body. Feel your feet on the ground, keep your body relaxed and open. Think regal.

Watch Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk about all about the effect of posture on self-confidence.

Her basic message in the video is that an individual’s posture does not just reflect the level of confidence or insecurity. Posture sends messages to the brain that can actually change the way you feel. So, if you want to feel more powerful, sit up straight, smile, or stand in a “power pose,” and that message will be sent to your brain.

2. Practice Presence

Mindfulness is proven to have significant benefits for your physical and psychological wellbeing. You can practice mindfulness anytime, anywhere. You can give try it right now by following these steps:

• Become aware of your awareness; that is, begin to observe yourself and your surroundings.
• Start with your body sensations, feeling your feet and legs, your belly and chest, your arms, neck, and head.
• Notice your breath flowing in and out, the many sensations that you are experiencing.
• Let your eyes notice what is in your visual field, your ears, what they are hearing. Perhaps sensations of smell and taste will come to awareness as well.
• Go beyond these simple sensations to feel the energy, the quiet, or the noises that surround you. Feel your presence.

3. Build Your Capacity for Energy

What does this mean? A bit of stress can be useful to keep us alert and give us the extra energy needed to perform. Try reframing your nervous jitters as excitement! Knowing how to engage with these feelings in your body will expand your presence rather than shrinking it down.

4. Exercise Regularly

Exercise has a powerful effect on confidence. Regular exercise releases endorphins which in turn interact with the opiate receptors in the brain, which produces a pleasurable state of mind and, in turn, you’ll view yourself in a more positive light.

When you exercise regularly, you will not only get better physically but you will feel more motivated to act in ways that build your self-confidence.

5. Visualize: Imagine Confidence

Close your eyes and relax your body completely. Stay firmly connected to the sensation of relaxation and in your mind’s eye, see yourself speaking on camera or doing whatever activity for which you would like more confidence. Allow the feelings of a comfortable presence to pervade your body and your mind.

6. Give Yourself Permission To Be In The Process, Take Risks and Make Mistakes

From the outside, we often think, “wow, everybody else is more happy, beautiful, creative, successful, active, etc. than me. I’m just not good enough to be like them.” What we don’t tend to consider is that failure is inherent in accomplishment and that in order to pursue our goals, we have to work hard and face our weaknesses. Even those who are exceptional in some areas of life are likely struggling in others.

Allow yourself to be a learner, to be a novice. Trust that it’s okay not to be perfect; in fact, you’ll likely provide inspiration to others in similar situations.

When breaking out of your comfort zone and starting something new, you are expanding your own limitations. When you successfully complete something that is out of your confidence zone, you are building confidence in yourself.

7. Clarify Your Goals

Making progress towards personally meaningful goals is the scaffolding upon which healthy self-confidence is built. In his book, Flourish Seligman proposes PERMA , a five-factor framework for wellbeing in which the “A” stands for accomplishment.

The S.M.A.R.T goals system offers a guideline for goal-setting in which goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. This system is based on research that suggests that these types of goals lead to greater and more consistent achievement (Locke, 1968).

When considering what goals you’d like to set for yourself, it may be helpful to start big considering your core values and life goals . Then you can come up with actionable steps to work toward these. Writing a personal mission statement is a great way to give yourself some direction.

“Happiness does not simply happen to us. It’s something that we make happen and it comes from doing our best.”

Mihali Csikszentmihalyi

8. Speak Well to Yourself

It’s always delightful to get good feedback from others. However, always seeking approval from outside yourself is an easy trap.

“Approve of yourself; be the one that says the words of encouragement you long to hear.”

Speak to yourself with self-compassion , kindness, and encouragement. After all, the most important relationship you have in your life is with yourself- make it a good one!

9. Ask For Help and Offer Your Help to Others

Many of us struggle to ask for help due to fear of rejection or being seen as incompetent. In Western cultures, the high value placed on self-reliance gets in the way of reaching out to others even though this is a necessary part of working toward our goals. However, conversely, a core feature of self-confidence also lies in being valued by others.

A sense of belonging within our social system is fundamental to personal wellbeing (Baumeister & Leary, 1995).

In a recent review of contemporary literature, Stephen Post, head of Case Western Reserve University Medical School, found a profound connection between giving, altruism, and happiness (2008). When we play a positive role in our families, friendships, and communities we rightly feel good about ourselves. We feel that we are fulfilling a greater more meaningful purpose in our lives.

A study by Frank Flynn, professor of organizational behavior at Stanford, revealed that people tend to grossly underestimate the willingness of others to help (2008). Flynn says “our research should encourage people to ask for help and not to assume that others are disinclined to comply” (2008).

Collaboration among people creates the most powerful results. When we reach out to others, we can see our efforts flourish in ways that we could never achieve on our own.

“Doing a kindness produces the single most reliable increase in momentary wellbeing than any other exercise we have tested.”

Martin Seligman

17 Exercises To Foster Self-Acceptance and Compassion

Help your clients develop a kinder, more accepting relationship with themselves using these 17 Self-Compassion Exercises [PDF] that promote self-care and self-compassion.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

The bottom line is that a healthy sense of self-confidence is not something that we achieve once and then just have for the rest of our lives. If you are a parent, teacher, or someone else who interacts with children frequently, notice whether you are trying to build children’s self-esteem through protecting and praising them.

Consider what you are encouraging the child to learn from their actions, provide them with enough opportunities to safely learn through failure and offer them space to build their courage and express their self-efficacy.

No matter how confident they are, there will be a moment when they will need to draw from a deep well of self-esteem, resilience, and problem-solving to successfully navigate a complex and challenging world.

Self-confidence waxes and wanes and takes work to build, develop and maintain. We all experience moments which challenge our confidence. However, when we understand the sources of healthy self-confidence we can always work on cultivating it within ourselves.

What do you think about the challenge of building self-confidence? How do you feel about building self-confidence in education? What is your greatest confidence maker or breaker? Let us know in the comments box below.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Self Compassion Exercises for free .

There are many reasons why someone may lack confidence, including:

• past experiences of failure or criticism,
• negative self-talk or beliefs,
• comparison to others, or
• lack of experience or knowledge in a particular area.

The 3 types of self-confidence are:

• Task-specific: confidence in your ability to perform a specific task or skill
• General: overall confidence in yourself and your abilities
• Situational: confidence that varies depending on the situation or context, such as public speaking or social situations

You can stop being insecure by:

• Challenging negative self-talk and beliefs
• Focusing on your strengths and accomplishments
• Practicing self-care and self-compassion
• Seeking out positive and supportive relationships
• Practicing mindfulness or meditation to increase self-awareness and decrease anxiety
• Developing new skills and knowledge to increase competence and confidence
• Seeking professional help if necessary, such as therapy or counseling.
• Atherton, S., Antley, A., Evans, N., Cernis, E., Lister, R., Dunn, G., Slater, M., & Freeman, D. (2016). Self-confidence and paranoia: An experimental study using an immersive virtual reality social situation. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 44 , 56-64.
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• Clark, N. M., & Gakuru, O. N. (2014). The effect on health and self-confidence of participation in collaborative learning activities. Health Education & Behavior, 41 , 476-484.
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• Druckman, D., & Bjork, R. A. (Eds.). (1994). Learning, remembering, believing: Enhancing human performance . National Academy Press: Washington, D.C., US.
• Dweck, C. S. (1999). Caution-Praise Can be Dangerous.
• Edberg, H. (2007). Top 24 Tips for Making Your Self Confidence Soar . Retrieved from http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2007/08/14/top-24-tips-for-making-your-self-confidence-soar/.
• Fodor, M. (2009). Self-Expansion. Budapest: Psychology 2.0 Books.
• Fonvielle, D., & Greater, A. (2011). What is self-confidence about? Retrieved from http://www.alwaysgreater.com/achievements/what-does-self-confidence-mean-to-you.
• Forsyth, D. R., Lawrence, N. K., Burnette, J. L., & Baumeister, R. R. (2007). Attempting to improve the academic performance of struggling college students by bolstering their self-esteem: An intervention that backfired. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 26 , 447-459.
• Gloppen, K. M., David-Ferdon, C., & Bates, J. (2010). Confidence as a predictor of sexual and reproductive health outcomes for youth. Journal of Adolescent Health, 46 , S42-S58.
• Greenberg, J., & Arndt, J. (2011). Terror management theory. In P. A. M. Van Lange, A. W. Kruglanski, & E. T. Higgins (Eds.) Handbook of Theories of Social Psychology: Collection: Volumes 1 & 2 , 398-415.
• Greater, Always. (n.d.) Why Is Confidence Important In Life? Retrieved from http://www.alwaysgreater.com/achievements/ why-is-self-confidence-important-benefits-of-self-confidence.
• Joseph, I. (2012, January). Ivan Joseph: The skill of self-confidence [Video file]. Retrieved from http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/TEDxRyersonU-Dr-Ivan-Joseph-The.
• Kremer, W. (January 4, 2013). Does confidence really breed success? BBC World Service . Retrieved from www.bbc.com/news.
• Leary, M. R., Tambor, E. S., Terdal, S. K., & Downs, D. L. (1995). Self-esteem as an interpersonal monitor: The sociometer hypothesis. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 68 , 518-530.
• Lenney, E. (1977). Women’s self-confidence in achievement settings. Psychological Bulletin, 84 , 1-13.
• Mann, M., Hosman, C. M. H., Schaalma, H. P., & de Vries, N. K. (2004). Self-esteem in a broad-spectrum approach for mental health promotion. Health Education Research, 19 , 357-372.
• Manson, M. (2015). The Confidence Conundrum. Retrieved from http://www.alwaysgreater.com/ achievements/why-is-self-confidence-important-benefits-of-self-confidence.
• Mobius, M. M., Niederle, M., Niehaus, P., & Rosenblat, T. S. (2011). Managing self-confidence: Theory and experimental evidence. National Bureau of Economic Research , working paper.
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• Weisul, K. (n.d.). 2 Quick Exercises That Will Boost Your Confidence. Retrieved from http://www.inc.com/kimberly-weisul/ two-short-simple-exercises-that-will-boost-your-confidence.html.

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What our readers think.

Great article and I appreciate the references to other resources!

I disagree with “What about those who have too much self-esteem? Narcissism is the result of having too much self-esteem.” No, Narcissism is an extreme form of selfishness, entitlement and self-delusion – not self-esteem.

As your paragraph continues: “A psychological definition (of narcissism) would be an extreme amount of selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration.” Confident people don’t need to be selfish, and don’t need to crave admiration.

Perhaps the greater point, we can agree on, is that self-confidence needs to be aligned with reality, not self-delusion.

Aside from this one point of disagreement, thank you for a great article and the nine ways to build self-esteem.

Self confidence is so important especially in the workplace when surrounded by great talent.

Hi, Dr. Nathaniel Branden and I disagree with the research involving, “too much self-esteem.” Branden ( 2011) states the following, “The question is sometimes asked, “Is it possible to have too much self-esteem?” No, it is not; no more than it is possible to have too much physical health or too powerful an immune system. Sometimes self-esteem is confused with boasting or bragging or arrogance; but such traits reflect not too much self-esteem, but too little; they reflect a lack of self-esteem. Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is in being who they are, not in being better than someone else. I recall reflecting on this issue one day while watching my dog playing in the backyard. She was running about, sniffing flowers, chasing squirrels, leaping into the air, showing great joy in being alive (from my anthropomorphic perspective). She was not thinking (I am sure) that she was more glad to be alive than was the dog next door. She was simply delighting in her own existence. That image captures something essential of how I understand the experience of healthy self-esteem. People with troubled self-esteem are often uncomfortable in the presence of those with higher self-esteem and may feel resentful and declare, “They have too much self-esteem.” But what they are really making is a statement about themselves. Insecure men, for instance, often feel more insecure in the presence of self-confident women. Low-self-esteem individuals often feel irritable in the presence of people who are enthusiastic about life. If one partner in a marriage whose self-esteem is deteriorating sees that the partner’s self-esteem is growing, the response is sometimes anxiety and an attempt to sabotage the growth process. The sad truth is, whoever is successful in this world runs the risk of being a target. People of low achievement often envy and resent people of high achievement. Those who are unhappy often envy and resent those who are happy. And those of low self-esteem sometimes like to talk about the danger of having “too much self-esteem.”” (p. 33).

Branden, N. (2011). The six pillars of self-esteem. Bantam.

Hi Joe, Thanks for sharing your thoughts and yours and Dr Branden’s thinking. I quite liked the analogy regarding the dog running amongst the flowers. You make a great point about the conceptual confusion regarding arrogance and self-esteem. Just because a person is highly content wth themselves, it doesn’t mean that will translate into comparison or arrogant behaviors. As you note, such behaviors would likely suggest underlying problems with self-esteem. – Nicole | Community Manager

Hello Nicole, thanks for your perspective! I find it somewhat upsetting that self-esteem is not clearly defined by the general sources that I have researched. I have found that the most logical and precise meaning of self-esteem has been explained by Dr. Nathaniel Branden in his book mentioned in my post.

Confidence is like an artist/journey, the more an expert one becomes, the more one can unravel: there is no limit to it. However, it’s important that one keeps a balance through the journey.

Hi there, I should have added, it was due to your article, I came up with the thought

nice one to the world

Your 9 ways made feel as if I was surfing a big long wave, (and I don’t surf) . What you have compiled here I have known about, but I enjoyed how you wrote and how you referenced. I am 64 and just beginning a bachelor of psychology course online with no prior tertiary education(scary). I’m very interested in self-confidence as in education because of how much it strangles potential, in my observations of self & the more I listen to many deprive themselves because of this

The best of learning on your new path, Rocky!! I love how you are putting yourself out there for your new educational path! 🙂

I have been researching this subject for some time now, and I found your article to be the most comprehensive, unbiased and well researched treatment of the concept of self confidence that I have yet to come across. Hats off to you Courtney! Very well done!

I think you have noted some very interesting points, thankyou for the post.

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Want to give your self-esteem a boost here's how, according to experts.

We live in a high-pressure world full of competition, social media comparison, and striving for perfection. The pressure's real—and let's be honest—it's messing with our heads. Amid all this noise, we need to protect our  sense of self with consistently healthy self-esteem. 

And it's about more than just feeling good about yourself; healthy self-esteem is a profound inner conviction about our worth, capabilities , and place in the world. It can boost our mental and emotional well-being, helping us make choices that align with our true selves, foster resilience against adversity, and move us forward personally and professionally.

To live a fulfilling life, nurturing your self-esteem is not just beneficial—it's essential.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem refers to an individual's overall sense of self-worth. It is an internal self-assessment of one's competence and desirability, and our emotions heavily influence this evaluation, which fluctuates with every shift in our external reality. As psychologist Ketan Parmar, M.D., MBBS , tells mindbodygreen, "[Self-esteem] is a subjective and emotional judgment that reflects how much one values, approves of, appreciates, prizes, or likes oneself."

Life experiences, childhood conditioning , culture, religion, and dominant thoughts shape self-esteem. As a measure of our innate worthiness, it can profoundly impact our mental health and well-being, the quality of our relationships, and the goals we pursue. 

"Self-esteem has been shown to be related to all the various aspects of life in adulthood. It has been connected to relationships, job success and satisfaction, and mental and physical health in general," explains licensed clinical psychologist Amy Robbins, Psy.D. , adding, "How you feel about yourself will determine much of your behavior, which then impacts the various other areas in your life."

What causes low self-esteem?

Self-esteem typically falls within three ranges: low, high, and healthy or optimal. Low self-esteem can result from internal perceptions and external influences. Constant negative feedback or a lack of praise from primary caregivers at an early age can also implant seeds of self-doubt.

Memories of childhood bullying, past traumas, and abuse can also affect self-esteem, according to clinical psychologist Harpreet K. Chattha, Ph.D. , who tells mindbodygreen that negative experiences can become ingrained in one's memories. "These replay when they are faced with challenges and act to discourage and limit one's potential," she says.

The pressure to perform, conform, and meet the ridiculous standards set by social media can intensify feelings of inadequacy as well. As licensed professional counselor Alissa Martinez, M.S., LPC, NCC , explains, "In today's society where social media influence is strong, so is comparing ourselves to others. These comparisons make us feel like we don't measure up, which can also lower self-esteem."

Discrimination, unemployment, body image issues, financial struggles, and dysfunctional relationships can further erode a person's self-esteem.

Impact of low self-esteem

One study 1 on self-esteem's role in mental and physical health found that high self-esteem promotes better overall health and positive social behaviors. Conversely, low self-esteem is linked to various mental disorders like depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and issues like substance abuse and violence.

Low self-esteem also creates an echo chamber. Holding a negative self-perception leads to avoidance of challenges, insecure relationships, and missed opportunities, resulting in an unfulfilling life and a lack of positive validation. The cycle continues as the negative self-talk further damages an individual's self-image and through it, their choices and behavior.

Such low self-worth doesn't just impair your inner self , though—it can manifest as anxiety, depression, and a paralyzing fear of failure, making it hard for someone to advocate for themselves or break free from this vicious cycle.

"In simple terms, low self-esteem often makes people feel like they're not as valuable or capable as they truly are, and it can hold them back from truly living," says Martinez.

Signs of low self-esteem

Recognizing the following signs of low self-esteem in your behavior can be the first step toward healthier self-esteem and a more positive self-image:

• Avoiding new experiences or challenges
• Exhibiting heightened sensitivity to criticism
• Social withdrawal
• Engaging in constant negative self-talk 
• Frequently using self-deprecating humor
• Displaying an intense fear of rejection with a strong desire to be liked
• Settling for unsatisfactory or unhealthy relationships
• Inability to assert oneself or set boundaries
• Demonstrating a lack of faith in one's ideas and opinions
• Indulging in overly competitive behavior 
• Overcompensating by continuously boasting or bragging

How to build self-esteem

As one understands the importance of self-esteem, the focus should be on developing healthy (or optimal) self-esteem. As one 2019 article 2 published in Psychological Inquiry notes, while high self-esteem varies and manifests as arrogance and entitlement, often ignoring personal flaws to criticize others, optimal self-esteem remains steady and creates a more balanced self-view: 

Begin with self-acceptance and authenticity 

Self-acceptance is the cornerstone of self-esteem. It involves embracing both the positive and the negative aspects of oneself and includes the willingness, despite imperfections, to see yourself as worthy of love, respect, and consideration.

As we cultivate self-acceptance, we find comfort in our skin and view failures not as proof of a personal lack but as opportunities for growth. Despite the challenges along the way, we navigate life with a sense of purpose, autonomy, and a positive self-regard, treating ourselves with the same generosity we so freely offer others.

As licensed therapist Julia Baum, MSEd, LMHC , tells mindbodygreen, "I advocate for accepting yourself unconditionally […] It simply means that you've decided to recognize that you don't have to be perfect to be worthy. From this perspective, you can better find a healthy will to work on what you can improve and accept things outside of your control."

To that end, another study 3 in the Journal of Positive Psychology highlights the importance of authenticity in developing a secure form of self-esteem. Highly authentic individuals maintain their self-worth even under threat, while those with low authenticity may be confident in good times but quickly falter when their self-worth is challenged. Through self-acceptance and authenticity, one can foster and fortify healthy self-esteem.

Cultivate a growth mindset

A growth mindset allows individuals to believe skills and knowledge can grow through dedicated effort and commitment. When picking new goals, such individuals rely on something other than innate talent or the confidence boost derived from past accomplishments. Instead, they see new challenges as opportunities, past failures as learning experiences, and remain committed to continuous growth and learning.

"It's vital to take action and refuse to berate yourself when you make a mistake or falter in some way. The more you work at this, the easier it becomes," Baum says, adding, "You cannot feel self-confident without believing you can get up and keep going if you fall. Self-confidence isn't thinking you will succeed; it's knowing you'll be OK if you don't."

And this has actually been established in research, with one study 4 showing that students with a fixed intelligence mindset have lower levels of self-esteem. Thus, nurturing a growth mindset fuels personal development and fosters a healthier self-worth.

Challenge negative thoughts and beliefs 

Our thoughts and beliefs impact our emotions, and those, in turn, move us toward positive actions or, in the case of negative beliefs, keep us passive through life. If left unchecked, such negative thoughts can worsen our self-image and deepen feelings of inadequacy. 

Identify thoughts and beliefs that don't serve you. Then, challenge them; question their validity. Explore and reframe the story sustaining these beliefs to something positive and supportive. Further, they lose power when we don't find proof to support our (usually exaggerated) opinions.

And according to Chattha, your self-esteem needs constant nourishment—it's not a one-time fix. "It is an ongoing effort to improve your beliefs about yourself and staying aware of when your thoughts and actions are not serving you," she explains. 

Learn about the different cognitive traps like all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization, catastrophizing, negativity bias, etc., and how they invite perspectives that hurt our sense of self. Once we recognize them, we can limit their impact and protect our self-esteem.

Surround yourself with supportive people

Creating a network of supportive, loving individuals can give us an environment that actively encourages positive emotions.

When we suffer from self-esteem issues, it can help to have friends and family members that remind us of how much we are loved and valued. A good, empathetic listener can help us let out our insecurities, and in doing so, examine them more objectively. 

Prioritize relationships that uplift you, and limit interactions with people who drain you or make you question your self-worth. Be selective with your time, energy, and emotions.

Volunteer work can be inspiring, especially with people recovering and rebuilding their lives.

Challenge yourself

Low self-esteem can make one cling to their comfort zone. Even if we don't always win, having positive experiences as we take on new challenges and explore unfamiliar territories can also highlight our inner strength. 

Choose achievable goals like practicing yoga for a month or mastering a new recipe. Due to their simplicity, the plans will be manageable, but accomplishing them will contribute positively to self-esteem. 

"Take small steps outside of your comfort zone, like trying new things or setting achievable goals. When you succeed at these small things, you'll slowly begin to feel a boost in your confidence," Martinez suggests. 

Likewise, acquiring more knowledge, cultivating a new talent, or learning a skill can create similar results. "When we feel competent, we also feel confident," Robbins notes.

Take care of your physical health and well-being

Physical, mental, and emotional health are all interconnected. Feeling good in one's body often leads to a positive mental state and vice versa. On the other hand, an exhausted body or mind tends to be emotionally more reactive and sensitive to negative experiences.

Prioritize quality sleep, maintain a balanced diet, and avoid consuming junk. Exercise daily—our body image improves when we are in good shape or even just working toward fitness goals.

And when it comes to mental well-being, nothing beats meditation. It's a healthy respite from the unceasing noise of social scrutiny and judgment, and a 2019 study 5 examining the effects of meditation on self-esteem even found a direct positive relationship between time spent meditating and self-esteem.

Collect positive feedback & create a highlight reel

If we must compare our reality to the airbrushed perfection of someone else's life, let's first fortify our inner defenses by reminding ourselves of our accomplishments.

Create a highlight reel and a repository of positive feedback so the good in you is as accessible as all the negativity. Approach your loved ones, valued colleagues, collaborative partners, and trusted supervisors, and ask them to recall a time when they found you truly impressive. See yourself through their eyes and learn about the qualities that draw others to you.

Create a list of your internal strengths. Write about the struggles you've endured, the failures you've overcome, and the accolades you've earned. Use this piece of paper to bolster your self-esteem whenever it's under threat.

Gratitude journals can help here as well, by broadening your perspective and inviting a deeper appreciation for life's blessings. Pen affirmations that resonate with you, and recite them when self-doubt gets loud. 

Assert yourself

Self-assertion can boost your self-esteem and inspire respect in others. Set clear boundaries with others and yourself, stop people pleasing , and say no when necessary. If there's someone you admire for their strength, try to nurture similar qualities in yourself. 

As you take these steps and assert yourself, even buried under layers of self-doubt, you will find the respect you have for yourself . 

Build a loving relationship with yourself

Just as you build relationships with others, develop a relationship with yourself. When a loved one dismisses themselves, we rise in their defense and advocate for them, even if it means standing against their very own ideas and beliefs. When we sincerely care for someone, we cherish their well-being and value their best qualities. Create a similar bond with yourself.

Begin with understanding yourself better. Notice the aspects of your personality and character that bring you joy. Celebrate your wins. Compliment yourself daily. Stay in conversation with yourself. Talk yourself to a healthy place when the negative self-talk begins. When someone crosses a line, advocate for yourself and set firm boundaries. Most importantly, treat yourself with the same respect and compassion you'd offer a dear friend.

Much like the comfort we derive from the presence of a loved one, once you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you will start experiencing a sense of self-assurance and contentment in your identity. By becoming your own ally, you ensure a continual source of support, strengthening your self-esteem.

Calm your ego & pick growth-oriented goals

According to a study 6 in the Psychological Bulletin , the level of someone's self-esteem is not as critical as the manner in which it is pursued. When establishing one's self-worth, we always pick goals for external validation. However, when we prioritize praise and admiration, growth and learning get sidelined because self-worth that relies on validation leads to fragile self-esteem.

Choose goals that transform your inner environment and promote self-discovery and growth. Goals rooted in self-improvement shift attention from external perceptions, to personal evolution, creating self-worth anchored in genuine change—not mere appearances. They also generate a sense of purpose that goes beyond social applause. They remind us that we are defined not by our mistakes but by our capacity to learn and adapt. 

When ego is not so dominant, self-acceptance becomes easier. Integrating spirituality can further help by instilling humility within us; we're reminded of how inconsequential we are in the grand scheme of things. It emphasizes the unity of all beings and gently persuades us not to indulge in self-aggrandizement but instead turn our attention toward the ascension of our soul.

If we can adopt a lifestyle that precludes social comparison and competitiveness completely, it will be easier to maintain healthy self-esteem.

Seek professional help

Therapy with a qualified expert can help reach the root cause of our insecurities and low self-esteem, and attending focused workshops can accelerate our learning and give us a supportive community, as well.

Art therapy is another helpful tool for self-esteem, as a powerful avenue of emotional expression that doesn't require verbal communication—plus you get the gratification of creating something beautiful.

When to seek help

If you're struggling with your self-esteem, according to Parmar, you should seek help when it interferes with daily functioning or causes significant distress.

"Low self-esteem can be a symptom of an underlying mental health condition that requires professional treatment," he says, noting that some signs that indicate the need for help include persistent negative thoughts or feelings about oneself; experiencing severe depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts; difficulty coping with stress or trauma; isolating oneself; problems with eating, sleeping, or concentrating; and/or frequent conflicts or arguments with others.

And while most people will seek help only when low self-esteem significantly impacts their lives, Baum advises not to wait. "There's no minimum level of distress needed to seek help. If your self-esteem interferes with being the best version of yourself or living fully, seeking help is perfectly valid," she explains.

How do you build self-esteem and self-confidence?

Building self-esteem and self-confidence begins with recognizing your positive qualities, challenging negative beliefs, and reframing them to something more supportive. Set achievable goals, and with each new accomplishment, celebrate your efforts. Do activities that nurture competence, create a sense of well-being, and foster positive relationships. Seek constructive feedback and focus on learning and self-correction when faced with criticism.

What causes poor self-esteem?

Low self-esteem can be caused by adverse childhood experiences, bullying, discrimination, abuse, poor finances, constant criticism, failures and rejection, traumatic events, social comparison, and more.

How can I improve my self-image?

To improve your self-image, be as aware of your strengths as you are of your imperfections. Practice positive self-talk, set realistic goals, celebrate accomplishments, and be learning-focused in the event of failure. Surround yourself with supportive individuals, advocate for yourself, don't compare yourself to others, and make healthy choices. Engage in activities that add to your resilience and foster a sense of competence. 

How do you overcome lack of confidence?

To overcome a lack of confidence, challenge stories that create self-doubt. Make sure that whatever caused failures in the past is no longer getting in the way of your progress. Once the gap has been bridged, remind yourself of the growth you've experienced. Pick realistic goals, and as you achieve them, create a positive narrative highlighting your personal qualities. Seek positive environments and supportive people.

The takeaway

Over time, low self-esteem can get embedded into our self-perception and inner dialogue. As it shifts our self-image, we may gravitate toward choices, relationships, and opportunities that are less than what we deserve while simultaneously declining potentially life-altering invites out of fear and self-doubt. 

We must show ourselves the basic respect of not indulging in self-deprecation and denigration. If your past is empty of experiences that affirm your worth , only you can create a different future—and it begins with you becoming your own advocate and creating a compassionate and constructive inner world.

• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15199011/
• https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1207/S15327965PLI1401_01
• https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/17439760.2014.910830
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9165622/
• https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10509674.2019.1697784
• https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.392

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Self-Esteem

6 ways to build self-esteem, 1. live consciously..

Updated December 12, 2023 | Reviewed by Devon Frye

• What Is Self-Esteem?
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Cowritten by Arasteh Gatchpazian and Tchiki Davis, Ph.D.

Self-esteem represents the foundation that supports the relationship you have with yourself. It carries over into every aspect of life. Let’s start with a simple definition: Most psychological theories agree that self-esteem refers to your evaluation of yourself (Mruk, 1995). Self-esteem can also be thought of as how much you like, approve of, or value yourself. Self-esteem can be applied to you globally (e.g., “On the whole, I am satisfied with myself”; Rosenberg et al., 1995) or to specific domains of your life (e.g., “I am good at my job and I’m proud of that”). Research shows that although self-esteem is relatively stable over one’s life, it is by no means fixed or unchangeable (Orth & Robins, 2014).

What Is Low Self-Esteem?​

Having low self-esteem corresponds to negative evaluations of yourself. Put differently, if you have low self-esteem, you generally don’t hold yourself in a positive light.

You tend to be more critical of yourself. You might get stuck in loops of negative self-talk , telling yourself things like, “I’m worthless,” “I could never succeed at this,” or “I’m not smart enough.” This can bring up feelings of anxiety , sadness , or hopelessness.

Self-esteem develops over your lifespan. It is thought that the beliefs you hold about yourself play a role in developing low self-esteem. The stronger the beliefs, the harder it may be to break the negative thought patterns that are associated with low self-esteem.

The following beliefs tend to characterize low self-esteem:

• Worthlessness: “I’m worthless”
• Inadequacy : “I am not good enough”
• Pessimism : “I don’t have a bright future”
• Failure: “I fail at everything I do”
• Negative traits: “I am boring ”; “I am ugly”

Signs of low self-esteem might include:

• Being self-critical
• Being sensitive to criticism from others
• Focusing on failures
• Socially withdrawing
• Being pessimistic

What Causes Low Self-Esteem?

Although a variety of factors play a role in self-esteem, a few may make it more likely for it to develop:

• Early childhood experiences. Experiences of abuse, neglect, or bullying at a young age powerfully shape self-esteem. A child who goes through these traumatic experiences can form the belief that they are a bad person who deserved this treatment.
• Expectations of others. If you feel that you failed to meet the expectations of others (e.g., parents’ standards), this can maintain the belief that you are a failure. It’s important to remember that these expectations may not have been realistic in the first place.
• Peer groups. During adolescence , the pressure to fit in is very high. Since this is a time when your identity is forming, not fitting in or feeling left out can impact self-esteem.
• Lack of warmth or love. Although negative traumatic experiences play a large role in low self-esteem, it is possible that not having positive experiences can also play a role. If you don’t receive affection or encouragement, especially at a young age, it is possible to form the belief that you’re not good enough. ​

How to Build Self-Esteem

1. Live consciously. Self-esteem is rooted in one's ability to live consciously and focus on what is happening in the current moment, without ruminating on the past or overthinking the future.

2. Practice self-acceptance . This involves accepting yourself unconditionally and showing yourself compassion across different situations (e.g. when you make a mistake).

3. Practice self-responsibility. When you practice self-responsibility and self-discipline , you recognize that you are in charge of your choices and behaviors. Because of this, you can’t blame others for your own choices and can’t expect others to make choices for you. At the end of the day, you are in charge.

4. Practice assertiveness . It is important to honor your needs in an appropriate way by practicing self-assertiveness. It’s okay to put yourself first and set boundaries .

5. Live purposefully. Having a sense of purpose is the antidote to feeling worthless. When you live purposefully, you have goals that you want to achieve and make a plan to do it. You live life with these goals in mind.

6. Live with integrity. This pillar of self-esteem focuses on your moral compass. When you lead a life with personal integrity, you act in line with your values and live an authentic life (Branden, 1995). ​

If you have low self-esteem, it can be hard to shift your mindset. But there are ways to start viewing yourself in a more positive light and as a result, improve your life.

Adapted from an article published by The Berkeley Well-Being Institute .

Facebook /LinkedIn image: OPOLJA/Shutterstock

Branden, N. (1995). The six pillars of self-esteem. Bantam Doubleday.

Mruk, C. (1995). Self-Esteem: Research, Theory, and Practice. Springer.

Orth, U., & Robins, R. W. (2014). The development of self-esteem. Current directions in psychological science, 23(5), 381-387.

Rosenberg, M., Schooler, C., Schoenbach, C., & Rosenberg, F. (1995). Global self-esteem and specific self-esteem: Different concepts, different outcomes. American Sociological Review, 141-156.

Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. , is a consultant, writer, and expert on well-being technology.

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Self-esteem: Take steps to feel better about yourself

Harness the power of your thoughts and beliefs to raise your self-esteem. Start with these steps.

Low self-esteem can affect nearly every aspect of life. It can impact your relationships, job and health. But you can boost your self-esteem by taking cues from mental health counseling.

Consider these steps, based on cognitive behavioral therapy.

1. Recognize situations that affect self-esteem

Think about the situations that seem to deflate your self-esteem. Common triggers might include:

• A work or school presentation
• A crisis at work or home
• A challenge with a spouse, loved one, co-worker or other close contact
• A change in roles or life events, such as a job loss or a child leaving home

2. Become aware of thoughts and beliefs

Once you've learned which situations affect your self-esteem, notice your thoughts about them. This includes what you tell yourself (self-talk) and how you view the situations.

Your thoughts and beliefs might be positive, negative or neutral. They might be rational, based on reason or facts. Or they may be irrational, based on false ideas.

Ask yourself if these beliefs are true. Would you say them to a friend? If you wouldn't say them to someone else, don't say them to yourself.

3. Challenge negative thinking

Your initial thoughts might not be the only way to view a situation. Ask yourself whether your view is in line with facts and logic. Or is there another explanation?

Be aware that it can be hard to see flaws in your logic. Long-held thoughts and beliefs can feel factual even if they're opinions.

Also notice if you're having these thought patterns that erode self-esteem:

• All-or-nothing thinking. This involves seeing things as either all good or all bad. For example, you may think, "If I don't succeed in this task, I'm a total failure."
• Mental filtering. This means you focus and dwell on the negatives. It can distort your view of a person or situation. For example, "I made a mistake on that report and now everyone will realize I'm not up to the job."
• Converting positives into negatives. This may involve rejecting your achievements and other positive experiences by insisting that they don't count. For example, "I only did well on that test because it was so easy."
• Jumping to negative conclusions. You may tend to reach a negative conclusion with little or no evidence. For example, "My friend hasn't replied to my text, so I must have done something to make her angry."
• Mistaking feelings for facts. You may confuse feelings or beliefs with facts. For example, "I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure."
• Negative self-talk. You undervalue yourself. You may put yourself down or joke about your faults. For example, you may say, "I don't deserve anything better."

4. Adjust your thoughts and beliefs

Now replace negative or untrue thoughts with positive, accurate thoughts. Try these strategies:

• Use hopeful statements. Be kind and encouraging to yourself. Instead of thinking a situation won't go well, focus on the positive. Tell yourself, "Even though it's tough, I can handle this."
• Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. But mistakes aren't permanent reflections on you as a person. They're moments in time. Tell yourself, "I made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a bad person."
• Avoid 'should' and 'must' statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you might be putting too many demands on yourself. Try to remove these words from your thoughts. It may lead to a healthier view of what to expect from yourself.
• Focus on the positive. Think about the parts of your life that work well. Remember the skills you've used to cope with challenges.
• Consider what you've learned. If it was a negative experience, what changes can you make next time to create a more positive outcome?
• Relabel upsetting thoughts. Think of negative thoughts as signals to try new, healthy patterns. Ask yourself, "What can I think and do to make this less stressful?"
• Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. For example, "My presentation might not have been perfect, but my colleagues asked questions and remained engaged. That means I met my goal."

You might also try these steps, based on acceptance and commitment therapy.

1. Spot troubling conditions or situations

Again, think about the conditions or situations that seem to deflate your self-esteem. Then pay attention to your thoughts about them.

2. Step back from your thoughts

Repeat your negative thoughts many times. The goal is to take a step back from automatic thoughts and beliefs and observe them. Instead of trying to change your thoughts, distance yourself from them. Realize that they are nothing more than words.

3. Accept your thoughts

Instead of resisting or being overwhelmed by negative thoughts or feelings, accept them. You don't have to like them. Just allow yourself to feel them.

Negative thoughts don't need to be controlled, changed or acted upon. Aim to lessen their power on your behavior.

These steps might seem awkward at first. But they'll get easier with practice. Recognizing the thoughts and beliefs that affect low self-esteem allows you to change the way you think about them. This will help you accept your value as a person. As your self-esteem increases, your confidence and sense of well-being are likely to soar.

In addition to these suggestions, remember that you're worth special care. Be sure to:

• Take care of yourself. Follow good health guidelines. Try to exercise at least 30 minutes a day most days of the week. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Limit sweets, junk food and saturated fats.
• Do things you enjoy. Start by making a list of things you like to do. Try to do something from that list every day.
• Spend time with people who make you happy. Don't waste time on people who don't treat you well.

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• Orth U, et al. Is high self-esteem beneficial? Revisiting a classic question. American Psychologist. 2022; doi:10.1037/amp0000922.
• Levenson JL, ed. Psychotherapy. In: The American Psychiatric Association Publishing Textbook of Psychosomatic Medicine and Consultation-Liaison Psychiatry. 3rd ed. American Psychiatric Association Publishing; 2019. https://psychiatryonline.org. Accessed April 27, 2022.
• Kliegman RM, et al. Psychotherapy and psychiatric hospitalization. In: Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics. 21st ed. Elsevier; 2020. https://www.clinicalkey.com. Accessed April 27, 2022.
• Fusar-Poli P, et al. What is good mental health? A scoping review. European Neuropsychopharmacology. 202; doi:10.1016/j.euroneuro.2019.12.105.
• Van de Graaf DL, et al. Online acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) interventions for chronic pain: A systematic literature review. Internet Interventions. 2021; doi:10.1016/j.invent.2021.100465.
• Bourne EJ. The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. 7th ed. New Harbinger Publications; 2020.
• Ebert MH, et al., eds. Behavioral and cognitive-behavioral interventions. In: Current Diagnosis & Treatment: Psychiatry. 3rd ed. McGraw Hill; 2019. https://www.accessmedicine.mhmedical.com. Accessed May 4, 2022.
• Self-esteem self-help guide. NHS inform. https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/mental-health-self-help-guides/self-esteem-self-help-guide. Accessed May 4, 2022.
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How to better yourself: 15 tips to improve yourself everyday

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What does it mean to improve yourself? Growth  

The important of bettering and improving yourself every day

15 ways to better yourself and improve your life, learn how to better yourself and improve your quality of life.

Do you feel stuck in a rut?

It can feel frustrating to be stuck in the same place and feel like nothing is changing. When you’re languishing , it feels like you’re not moving forward toward your goals.  One of the ways to break this rut is to take action. Making a conscious decision to better yourself can be empowering and motivating.

But self-improvement sometimes gets a bad rap, and for good reason. Our desire to improve ourselves has spawned an industry full of bad hacks that can leave you feeling more frustrated than before. Or, that feel good but don't move you forward.

Working to improve yourself can positively impact your own well-being and your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. Let’s explore 15 things you can try that will move you forward — get involved in your own well-being and learn how to work on yourself .

What does it mean to improve yourself? Growth

For some people, the idea of improving yourself is motivating. For others, it can be more helpful to think about it as growth. Growth is positive and not always a straight line.

Improving yourself is a very personal journey, and the specifics can change from person to person. It requires putting in the work and being willing to experience discomfort.

Change is uncomfortable. Growth requires stretching past what you know. But every step you take is part of the process toward becoming the best version of yourself.

Behavior change can be a long process, but it doesn’t have to be grueling. In his talk, Atomic Habits , James Clear talks about the power of improving just 1% every day. Improving yourself can be a series of small habit changes, like taking five minutes in your day to be more mindful . Or it can be a more involved process, like overcoming fears .

However, bettering yourself doesn’t mean changing the core of who you are. For example, if you’re an introvert, you shouldn’t aim to become an extrovert. 

On the other hand, if you have social anxiety, you can practice learning techniques to get past your discomfort. Eventually you may fully conquer your social anxiety so that you can navigate social settings with more ease.

There are several reasons to keep improving yourself every day.

Every time you improve in one aspect of your life, you can feel more fulfilled as you start achieving your goals . And bettering yourself can help you in every aspect of life.

For instance, bettering yourself at work can help you improve your work performance , find more meaning in your work , and even get promoted .

Bettering yourself can also help you improve your personal relationships, improve your ability to set boundaries , and form closer bonds with the ones you love. Acting to improve yourself is a form of self-care , and if you look after yourself better, you’re more likely to have more to give to others.

Plus, you can develop improvement goals alongside your loved ones. Having their support improves your chances of success, and working together to achieve similar goals can help you bring you closer.

Finally, learning how to improve yourself is a valuable capability to have in a world where you must constantly adapt. Knowing that you have the capacity for change can make you more confident about the future and less afraid of discomfort.

You've been there before. You already have a history of successfully growing and improving yourself — you can do it again.

Want to learn how to improve yourself and feel better? Here are 15 tips you can implement in your life right away to become your best self.

1. Make time for rest

Before you learn how to be better, it’s important to start with the basics. You need to have your basic needs met before you move on to self-improvement. Part of that is to make time for rest and self-care.

There are many different types of rest . Are there moments in your schedule where you have the opportunity to do nothing and take a break? Those quiet moments of rest can help you decompress and process what happened in your day.

That’s why making time for rest can do wonders for your well-being. Plus, when you’re well-rested, you’ll have more bandwidth to work on the other ways you can better yourself.

2. Read more books

There are books on virtually everything. So, reading more books can help you explore your current interests, but also develop new ones. You can even learn a new skill with a book.

Some books are written specifically to help you start working on self-improvement  and personal growth . You can also read to improve your leadership skills .

But even getting deeply engrossed in a fiction novel can do wonders for you. The bottom line is that whatever passions you may have (or be curious about), carve out some time to read about them.

3. Start a gratitude practice

One way to learn how to be a better person is by being grateful for what you have.

Practicing gratitude for your current situation  can help you avoid feeling bitter about what you don’t have.

You don’t have to feel grateful about huge things, either. Try to notice the small things that make you happy and make you feel grateful.

You can fine-tune your gratitude practice over time . With practice, it gets easier to naturally think of what you’re grateful for. This new perception can change your life for the better.

4. Learn a new language

It’s never too late to learn a new language. Learning how to speak another language helps you think differently and see things around you in a new light. It can also open up doors for you.

You’ll get to immerse yourself in another culture as you learn how another language operates differently from English. Plus, you can travel to places where people speak the language you’re learning.

Learning a second language can do more than help you out during your travels abroad. It can even help you with your career opportunities.

More and more employers in the US are looking for bilingual talent. Currently, surveys show that US employers are struggling to find enough employees who speak languages other than English .

56% of employers report that their needs for foreign languages in the workplace have increased over the past five years. And 1/3 of employers currently don’t meet those needs with their current workforce.

Some of the languages that are high in demand include Spanish, Chinese, and French.

5. Try meditation

Meditation provides you with a great way to slow down in a fast-paced world. Even just a few minutes a day of meditation can help you better yourself and improve your mental health.

A recent study has shown that meditation can improve anxiety, depression, and pain scores , especially during times of crisis.

You’ll also become more aware of your thought patterns. This mindfulness means you can learn more about yourself over time. It can help you spot bad habits  that are making a negative impact on your mood and your life.

Meditation can also help you practice mindful breathing  and improve your self-awareness.

6. Write in a journal

Journaling is a great way to complement your meditation and gratitude practices. It also makes a great new hobby.

You can write about the things you’re grateful for in your journal. You can also practice how to become more aware of your own thoughts.

Plus, research shows that journaling can improve your well-being and reduce mental distress . The same research shows that participants had increased their resilience  after the first two months of continuous journaling.

When you start writing in your journal , do your best not to censor yourself. Write what comes to mind, and don’t judge what comes out.

7. Nourish yourself with healthy foods

It’s easier to live your best life when you feel energized and well-fueled. What you eat has a huge influence on how you feel .

Start watching what you put in your body. Eat a variety of different foods in different colors across all food groups.

Try to eat fresh foods whenever you can. If you don’t have time to cook healthy meals at home, look for other alternatives, like meal kit subscriptions or healthy catering services.

8. Add more movement to your life

While nutrition plays a huge part in how you feel, movement and exercise also have a role to play .

There’s a variety of ways to start moving more. For instance, you can start a new sport and even have a friend join you to spend quality time with them.

If you’re not interested in picking up a sport or joining a gym, you can still find other ways to add movement to your life. For example, you can start taking daily walks.

You can also start an exercise routine from the comfort of your own home. Many free workout routines are available online , which means there’s always something new for you to do if you get bored.

9. Practice kindness toward others

Kindness is one of the best ways to become a better you.

First, it’s free. It doesn’t require much effort to be kind instead of indifferent or unkind.

Second, it can help you feel much better about yourself.

Third, it can improve other people’s lives as well. Showing kindness requires you to become more aware of those around you. By doing so, you’ll notice more of what people need, even when they don’t say it.

For example, you may notice a work colleague is struggling with something you can help with. Or you may see a stranger struggling to open a door with a baby stroller.

Make it a goal to do one random act of kindness every day. If you’ve started journaling, note how it made you feel and how the other person reacted.

10. Spend more time outdoors

If you work in an office ( and even if you work remotely ), chances are you don’t get to spend a lot of time outside during the day.

Find opportunities in your schedule to spend more time outdoors. If you have access to areas of nature, consider spending time there.

A recent study shows that even a short 15-minute walk in the forest can decrease negative moods like anxiety, fatigue, anger, and depression . In the study, forest walks were more effective than city walks.

They were also more effective in participants who had higher anxiety levels.

With the right clothing, you can take advantage of the outdoors even when the weather isn’t perfect. Consider saving some money to invest in robust outdoor clothing that can protect you in any weather.

If you take up an outdoor activity, make sure you’re well equipped for it. For example, make sure you have good hiking shoes if you begin hiking.

11. Develop a list of goals

If you want to better yourself over time, it’s important to start setting goals .

When you write down specific goals, you can start tracking your progress over time. This is another thing you can journal about.

For example, you can set a goal to walk every day for 30 minutes by the end of the year. You can work up to your goal incrementally.

For instance, if you currently take no walks, you can start with short 10-minute walks three times a week. Every week, you can increase the length of your walks.

And every few weeks, you can add a new walk to your schedule until you reach your daily walking goal.

12. Work to improve your fear of failure

Fear of failure can stop you from taking steps forward to achieve your goals and working on your self-development.

To better yourself, it’s important to find ways to do the difficult things, even when fear is holding you back. That’s why it’s important to work on your fear of failure and ease out of your comfort zone.

To improve this fear, you can start with small things and work your way up to bigger fears. This means you don’t have to start by conquering your fear of public speaking  by signing up to give a seminar at work.

Instead, you can work up to that in small increments.

For example, practice public speaking in a private setting to people close to you whom you trust, like your family or spouse.

Over time, you can start practicing in front of more and more people. Every time you speak in front of someone new, you’ll prove to yourself that you can conquer your fear of failure.

Remember that failure will still happen, and that’s okay. Resist the urge to beat yourself up when you fail. Embrace the failure and see it as a necessary stepping stone toward reaching your goals.

13. Limit activities that drain you

Are you noticing that spending too much time scrolling through social media is sapping away at your good mood ?

Have you found that spending too much time around negative people chips away at your energy?

Try to notice what fulfills you and what drains you throughout the day. Some activities that drain you may be unavoidable, like updating your budget or grocery shopping.

But there are other factors that you have much more control over.

For example, try deleting social media apps on your phone  if you find yourself in a sour mood after too much scrolling. Or try to limit how much time you spend with people who are constantly negative around you.

14. Practice saying no to assert your boundaries

It can be easy to say yes to everyone and everything, even when you don’t feel comfortable. This can be true at work and in your personal life.

Some family members invite you to their home the day you set aside for you-time? You’re allowed to say no and keep that day to yourself.

Your manager asks you to take a look at something while you’re on vacation? You can also choose to say no.

15. Inner work®

Inner work happens when you explore your inner experiences.

It involves all of the processes, values, and mental models that you use to navigate the world. Some examples include decision-making , spiritual wellness , and self-awareness .

Inner work can be even more effective when you combine it with support from a coach and trusted inner circle who can help you reflect and take action. 

Bonus tip:  Work with a coach

One of the best ways to grow and improve is to get support. By working with a coach, you get someone who can help you see yourself more clearly and who is there to help you succeed. You deserve to have someone in your corner.

Coaches at BetterUp know how to help you unlock your personal and professional growth . They can also help you develop the practice of inner work so that you never stop growing.

A coach can give you a new perspective on self-improvement that you wouldn’t have on your own.

They can also help you with other specific aspects of improvement that can help you thrive in life, like improving your diet and increasing your resilience.

Self-improvement is unique for every person. It’s a highly personal process.

That’s why working one-on-one with a BetterUp coach can help you set specific goals that work for you. See how BetterUp can help you  on your journey to better yourself.

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Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships. With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

How to walk the freeing path of believing in yourself

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Excellent essay writing blog for students seeking help with paper writing. We provide exclusive tips and ideas that can help create the best essay possible.

Brilliant Self Esteem Essay: Writing Guide & Topics

Self-esteem is a personal trait that has proven to withstand both high and low tides. It is a state which carries within itself a wide range of beliefs about oneself. Also referred to as self-respect, self-esteem is the confidence in one’s worth or abilities.

It is a subject of great interest to many people. Having a spiced up and captivating essay about self-esteem can guarantee a considerable readership or high grades for students. Many people, especially college students, have a problem with this, and hence we are here to help.

To start us off, let us look at a self-esteem essay example on the effect of social media on self-esteem:

Effect of Social Media on Self-Esteem Essay

“In the last decade, social media has tremendously gained popularity. Its impact and power have left permanent effects on many people and different facets of life. Many people have, therefore, developed high or low self-esteem concerning social media. More research shows that there exists a strong relationship between self-esteem and social media. Facebook has caused a decrease in self-esteem in many people.

Many teenagers are using social media, especially Facebook, to build relationships. There are a lot of people on Facebook of all ages, races, gender, and ethnicity. It is, therefore, natural for teens to mingle and socialize on this platform. Most of the people on social media purport to live “flashy lifestyles,” while in reality, that is not the case. It, therefore, creates a decreased self-esteem on those who cannot live up to those standards.

Social media, through social networking sites, enables people to make social comparisons. For instance, people may try to copy the lifestyles of celebrities. However, those who cannot meet their celebrity status tend to have low self-esteem. The psychological distress of such individuals is higher, resulting in low levels of self-esteem. Many people have, therefore, become victims of lower self-esteem and, consequently, low self-growth.

In conclusion, social media has a very high impact on the self-esteem of individuals. Usage of social media for social networking, communication, and building and maintaining of relationships has diverse effects. There should be sufficient information to help people not fall victims of these adverse effects.”

From the self-esteem essay conclusion above, it is evident that we have not introduced any new idea. You only need to restate the thesis statement and provide a solution to the problem.

We are now going to explore some exciting self-esteem topics with explanations on what to cover in such essays.

“What is Self-Esteem Essay” Topics

• Self-esteem essay, Low Self-Esteem: An expository essay

Here, you will have clearly and concisely investigate low self-esteem, evaluate pieces of evidence, expound on it, and provide an argument concerning it.

• What is Self-esteem? A critical analysis of theories on the function of self-esteem.

Such an essay requires you to explore the various approaches that show the role of self-esteem in individuals or society at large.

• Understanding the concept of self-esteem

It is a topic that digs deep into the breadth and depth of self-worth and makes readers get a clear picture.

• A descriptive study of self-esteem

It is about describing or summarizing self-esteem using words instead of pictures.

• State self-esteem

Topics on Social Media and Self-Esteem Essay

• The Paradox Effect of social media on self-esteem

Describe how social media is giving off the illusion of different choices while making it harder to find viable options.

• Self-esteem and ‘vanity validation’ effect of social media

Show how the interaction of people with social media for an extended period, inevitably feels compelled to continue to check for updates.

• The Dark Side of Social Media: How It Affects Self-Esteem
• Social Media and Confidence

How is one’s self-worth in terms of confidence boosted by social media?

• Social media and depression

Let readers see how depression can result from the use of social media with real-life experiences.

• Importance of Self-Esteem

Self-Concept and Self-Esteem Essay Topic Ideas

Explain how self-concept underpins self-esteem. Evaluate the different approaches to self-esteem. You can also discuss the application of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs of self-actualization. Giving the usefulness of the motivational theory for boosting self-esteem will add weight to your essay.

Topic Ideas on How to Improve Self-Esteem

• Tips to Improve Self-Esteem

Give detailed and well-researched advice on how people can boost their self-esteem

• Steps to Improving Self Esteem

Here are more topic ideas on how to improve self-esteem: 1. Top 5 tactics to change how to improve how you see yourself 2. Things you can do to boost your self-esteem 3. Understanding and building low self-esteem

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How to Improve Your Self-Worth and Why It's Important

Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Yolanda Renteria, LPC, is a licensed therapist, somatic practitioner, national certified counselor, adjunct faculty professor, speaker specializing in the treatment of trauma and intergenerational trauma.

Delmaine Donson / Getty Images

Factors That Influence Self-Worth

Gauging your self-worth, importance of self-worth.

• How to Improve Self-Worth

If you’ve heard the term “self-worth,” you’re probably wondering what exactly it means and why it’s important.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), your self-worth is your evaluation of yourself as a capable and valuable human being deserving of consideration and respect. It is an internal sense of being worthy of love .

We often think about terms like “respect,” “love,” and “consideration” with regard to our relationships with others, such as our friends, family members, colleagues, and neighbors. However, the term “self-worth” is a gauge of how much we respect, love, and value ourselves. 

People with positive self-worth tend to have greater self-confidence and self-esteem. Having low self-worth, on the other hand, means judging oneself harshly, having a low opinion of oneself, and tending to focus on one's mistakes and shortcomings, rather than one's abilities and strengths.

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD

It’s important to have self-worth because it impacts everything you do from your relationships, to how you work, how you feel about yourself, and how others view you.

This article explores the importance of self-worth and suggests some strategies to help you improve your self-worth. 

Self-worth is a subjective concept that can fluctuate based on many variables, says Sabrina Romanoff , PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University. 

According to Dr. Romanoff, these are some of the factors that may influence self-worth:

• Core beliefs and values
• Thoughts and feelings
• Emotions and mental well-being
• Experiences and interactions with others
• Relationships , both past and present
• Health and physical fitness 
• Career and profession 
• Activities and hobbies
• Community and social status 
• Financial position
• Physical appearance
• Childhood experiences

If you’re trying to gauge your self-worth , Dr. Romanoff says it may be helpful to ask yourself the following questions:

• How much do you like, respect, and value yourself?
• Which words would you use to describe yourself to a stranger?
• When you self-reflect and think about yourself, are your thoughts generally positive, negative, or somewhere in between?
• Do you believe you are worthy of others’ love, respect, and consideration?

Asking yourself these questions can help you introspect and get a sense of your own self-worth. 

As you explore these thoughts, it can also be helpful to think about where your thoughts and beliefs around your self-worth originated from.

Below, Dr. Romanoff explains the benefits of having a healthy sense of self-worth and the potential pitfalls of having low self-worth.

Benefits of Positive Self-Worth

Folks with high self-worth carry with them a sense of confidence that they will be all right and manage whatever comes their way. While they are aware of areas in which they can improve, they don’t let their shortcomings define their identity. They are not afraid to pursue opportunities and have reasonable faith in their ability to deliver.

Self-worth also plays an important role in relationship dynamics. For example, if someone is treated poorly, their self-worth will likely have a large impact on their interpretation of the event—someone with low self-worth may blame themselves, whereas a person with healthy self-worth may not consider themselves deserving of mistreatment .

Therefore, having positive self-worth can help people set boundaries around how they are treated by others. Learning to ask for respect is what pushes others to be respectful.

According to a 2017 study, positive self-worth is associated with a greater sense of well-being and life satisfaction.

Potential Pitfalls of Low Self-Worth

Low self-worth is characterized by a negative view of oneself and a lack of trust in one’s abilities. As a result, there is a perpetual fear of failure, difficulty accepting positive comments, and a disproportionate focus on weaknesses.

Because there is a strong tendency to view oneself as unworthy, there is also a tendency to elevate others, in an effort to compensate. Someone with low self-worth may therefore minimize their needs, allow their boundaries to be infringed, go out of their way to please others, and be unable to stand up for themselves.

Low self-worth is highly correlated with depression and anxiety . As a result, people may experience symptoms like low mood, irritability, anxiety, fatigue, changes in weight, sleep difficulties, and inability to concentrate.

Strategies to Improve Your Self-Worth

Below, Dr. Romanoff shares some strategies that can help you boost your sense of self-worth:

• Do things you enjoy and are good at: Getting good at something—and enjoying it—can provide positive reinforcement and feelings of proficiency and capability. Having regular reminders of your talents, strengths, and abilities can help make you more confident in other areas of your life as well.
• Exercise and challenge yourself: Research shows us that physical activity is linked to a greater sense of self-worth. Inducing moderate strain on your body and striving towards increasingly advanced goals each time gives you tangible proof that you are capable of more than you thought. Exercise also recalibrates your mindset and offers both physical and mental benefits .
• Challenge negative thoughts: Remember that thoughts are not facts. In fact, most of the time, they are distortions caused by internalized critics, stress, and situational demands. Next time you have a negative self-thought, think of an alternative realistic thought to replace it.
• Seek support: You could also see a therapist for self-worth, if you notice that it’s constricting the quality of your functioning in your relationships, work, or emotional well-being. Having low self-worth can be like living life through restricted blinders. Sometimes complacency with this restriction grows, and people believe they are not worthy of more. In these instances, the perspective of a neutral, trained professional can be very effective.
• Build self-worth in your children: The origins of low self-worth can often be traced back to the behaviors of adults in childhood, even if they were well-meaning. If you have children , it’s important to actively work toward building their self-esteem. Rather than rewarding them for external factors such as appearance or winning sports games or prizes, recognize and praise internal factors such as effort and determination. Focus on what your child can control because if their self-esteem is solely based on external factors, their self-esteem will be dependent on the next accomplishment.

A Word From Verywell

Having a healthy sense of self-worth is important and can contribute to better relationships , work, health, and overall mental and emotional well-being. If you think you might have low self-esteem, there are steps you can take to improve it and have a more positive view of yourself. Loving, respecting, and valuing yourself can be the first step toward gaining the love, respect, and consideration of others.

American Psychological Association. Self-worth . APA Dictionary of Psychology .

University of North Carolina Wilmington. Self-worth .

Du H, King RB, Chi P. Self-esteem and subjective well-being revisited: The roles of personal, relational, and collective self-esteem . PLoS One . 2017;12(8):e0183958. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0183958

Sowislo JF, Orth U. Does low self-esteem predict depression and anxiety? A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies . Psychol Bull . 2013;139(1):213-240. doi:10.1037/a0028931

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Mental health conditions: Depression and anxiety .

Reddon H, Meyre D, Cairney J. Physical activity and global self-worth in a longitudinal study . Med Sci Sports Exerc . 2017;49(8):1606-1613. doi:10.1249/MSS.0000000000001275

By Sanjana Gupta Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Essay On Self Confidence

500 words essay on self confidence.

Self-confidence refers to the state of mind where a person pushes their boundaries and encourages belief within oneself. It is something which comes from self-love. In order to have confidence in yourself, one must love oneself to get freedom from constant doubt. This essay on self confidence will help you learn more about it in detail.

The Key to Success

It won’t be far-fetched to say that self-confidence is the key to success. If not, it is definitely the first step towards success. When a person has self-confidence, they are halfway through their battle.

People in school and workplaces achieve success by taking more initiatives and being more forward and active in life. Moreover, they tend to make better decisions because of having confidence in oneself.

Thus, it makes them stand out of the crowd. When you stand apart, people will definitely notice you. Thus, it increases your chances of attaining success in life. Alternatively, if there is a person who does not trust or believe in himself, it will be tough.

They will find it hard to achieve success because they will be exposed to failure as well as criticism. Thus, without self-confidence, they may not get back on their feet as fast as someone who possesses self-confidence.

In addition to gaining success, one also enjoys a variety of perks as well. For instance, you can find a job more easily. Similarly, you may find the magnitude of a difficult job lesser than it is.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Importance of Self Confidence

Self-confidence allows us to face our failure and own up to it in a positive light. Moreover, it helps us to raise many times. This helps instil a quality in use which ensures we do not give up till we succeed.

Similarly, self-confidence instils optimism in us. People who have self-confidence are not lucky, they are smart. They do not rely on others to achieve success , they rely on their own abilities to do that.

While self-confidence is important, it is also important to not become overconfident. As we know, anything in excess can be bad for us. Similarly, overconfidence is also no exception.

When you become overconfident, you do not acknowledge the criticism. When you don’t do that, you do not work on yourself. Thus, it stops your growth. Overlooking all this will prove to be harmful.

So it is essential to have moderation which can let you attain just the right amount of self-confidence and self-love which will assure you success and happiness in life.

Conclusion of the Essay on Self Confidence

All in all, a person will gain self-confidence from their own personal experience and decision. No one speech or conversation can bring an overnight change. It is a gradual but constant process we must all participate in. It will take time but once you achieve it, nothing can stop you from conquering every height in life.

FAQ on Essay on Self Confidence

Question 1: What is the importance of self-confidence?

Answer 1: Self-confidence allows a person to free themselves from self-doubt and negative thoughts about oneself. When you are more fearless, you will have less  anxiety . This is what self-confidence can offer you. It will also help you take smart risks and get rid of social anxiety.

Question 2: How do you develop self-confidence paragraph?

Answer 2: To develop self-confidence, one must first look at what they have achieved so far. Then, never forget the things you are good at. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, so focus on your strengths. Set up some goals and get a hobby as well. Give yourself the pep talk to hype up your confidence.

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106 Ideas, Examples, and Topics on Self Esteem

🏆 best research title about self esteem, 💡 interesting self-esteem topics for discussion, 📌 good self-esteem research topics, 🔎 simple & easy research titles about low self-esteem, ❓ research questions about self-esteem.

• Self-Esteem and Confidence in the Workplace Secondly, gradual learning and improvement of job skills will help to feel more confident and show management that the employee is ready to learn and develop.
• High Self-Esteem Development Towards Self-Image People’s health and appearance have to be satisfactory and correspond to people’s idea of ‘a norm’ as it has been proven that the better a person’s health is the higher self-esteem he/she has.
• Concept of Self, Self-Esteem, and Behavior The concept of the self According to McLeod self concept is the perception that an individual holds about him or herself.
• The Role of Self-Esteem in Education Speaking about practice, it is also possible to note the ambiguous nature of schools that promote self-esteeming by constantly saying to children that they can do anything, while teachers manipulate them by means of rewards […]
• Instagram Addiction and Impact on Self-Esteem The effect of social media use is reported to have a mixed effect on the user. First, social media addiction may have a varying effect on self-esteem depending on the type of use.
• Instagram Addiction and Self-Esteem in Kuwaiti High School Students Besides, the study will explore the impact of social media and reveal the possible ways to resolve the social media addiction issues affecting the youth.
• Instagram Addiction and Self-Esteem in High School Students To test the relationship between social media Instagram addiction and self-esteem in American high school students, a descriptive survey where students will be enrolled in an online, blinded survey will apply.
• Child Neglect Might Affect a Child’s Self-Esteem in Adulthood Three situations in different locations are to be thoroughly discussed to illustrate the issue of the research. Indeed, the observation at the chosen playground seemed to be fruitful because of children of different ages.
• Self-Handicapping, Self-Esteem, and Self-Compassion The higher the level of stress tolerance, the more successfully a person copes with anxiety, and, on the contrary, the lower the level, the more challenging it is for one to handle an unusual situation. […]
• Promoting Self-Esteem in School-Age Children During the early school-age period, self-esteem concerns the way children accomplish set academic tasks and their performance in extracurricular activities.
• The Relationship Between Polygamy and Self-Esteem in Children in Saudi Arabia Family cohesion in polygamous families is crucial for exploring in the context of this study because it directly involves the psychological well-being of children as well as the subsequent development of their self-esteem and adaptation […]
• Psychology. “Self-Esteem” Book by Dr. Matthew McKay Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem is the book which teach people to live in piece with our society and with oneself.
• The Increasing of Self-Esteem Importance This is part of a consciousness process in which one goes beyond what comes to be recognized as the illusion of separate selfhood.
• Fathers’ Work, Conflicts and Children’s Self-Esteem On the other hand, the active involvement of the mother in the child’s life as well as the nature of the father’s occupation were found to act as mitigating factors to the quality of the […]
• The Self Esteem: Scientific Approach In this respect the reliability of the research props up against the analysis of what is known at the time. The thing is that it is really the better predictor of high results compared to […]
• Concept of the Self and Self-Esteem Among the most common and widely used ways of self, the approach is self-esteem and self-concept.self-esteem refers to how an individual views himself from an emotional or affective aspect.
• Concept Analysis of Loneliness, Depression, Self-esteem The purpose of this direct study was to look at levels of depression, self-esteem, loneliness, and communal support, and the relationships stuck between these variables, in the middle of teenage mothers participating in the New […]
• Evaluating the Self-Esteem of the Homeless The mission statement of the program indicates the central role played by the agency to the welfare of the society.”The Doe Fund’s mission is to develop and implement cost-effective, holistic programs that meet the needs […]
• Relationships Between Anxiety, Perceived Support and Self-Esteem In particular, it sought to determine whether there is a relationship between anxiety, perceived support from friends, and self-esteem whereby anxiety and perceived support from friends act as predictors of the level of self-esteem.
• Self-Esteem and Rejection: It Is Not Personal Taking things personally is problematic for many reasons, one of which is the bias connected to the perception of a situation.
• Striving for Self-Esteem in Business The learning points from these articles are that self-assessment is only possible in the latter stages of business development and not the beginning, all businesses must go through ISO 9000 certification series and excellence models […]
• Social Psychology Role: Self-Esteem and Human Development The relation between the concepts and the response is closely analyzed to determine the most important criteria people’s actions can be judged by. A person is stereotyped and the thinking leads to over-generalize towards others.
• Mean Self-Esteem Scores for Boys and Girls The aim of this study was to determine if there was any difference in mean self-esteem scores for boys and girls.
• Facebook Effects on Our Self-Esteem The title of the article “Facebook envy: how the social network affects our self-esteem” speaks for itself: the author Andrea Shea reflects on the impact that the social media has on its users, and in […]
• Counseling Low Self-Esteem and Decision Making John was allowed to go out and meet with his friends, and the aunt was less concerned about the kind of company that he kept.
• Women with Low Self-Esteem – Psychology Despite the fact that the given study is focused on the effects of separation on the women formerly engaged into relationships, it will still be necessary to consider certain issues concerning childhood; however, in the […]
• The Link Between Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy In explaining the dynamics of how self-esteem affects self-efficacy, it is important to note that low sense of self-worth will incapacitate the ability of an employee to succeed in specific situations due to lack of […]
• Effects on Psychological Growth and Self-Esteem In 2007, approximately 794,000 cases of child maltreatment and abuse were reported in the US, translating to a maltreatment rate of 11 in every 1000 children.
• Psychology Issues: Self-Esteem and Violence In my opinion, the argument by Boden, Fergusson, and Horwood is sociological since its main aim is to test the link between our self-esteem and later hostility and violent behavior.
• Effects of Self-Esteem and Gender on Goal Choice The paper contains a discussion about the relationship between self esteem and gender to the type of goals that people make. Therefore, there is a link between high self-esteem and the behavior to make difficult […]
• Women, Alcohol, Self-Concept, and Self-Esteem: A Qualitative Study of the Experience of Person-Centred Counselling This essay discusses the research setting and sample, the selection of the setting and the data collection procedure to be used during the project.
• Self-Esteem and Students’ Health More so, life satisfaction is closely connected with the concept of self-esteem, and mental health also depends on proper development of self-esteem. It is also necessary to remember that a number of factors influence development […]
• Raising a Child With High Self Esteem A good illustration of this is can be observed early on in babyhood growth of children who act in response and connect themselves to the adults or caregivers who show utmost love and care and […]
• Social Networks and Self-Esteem Due to this fact, the main aim of this paper it to determine the impacts that social networks have on people and the role they play in the determination of the self-esteem of an individual.
• Self Esteem and Culture in a Learning Environment Reflectively, the conceptual idea of this treatise is an in-depth analysis of the aspects of social environment and objective and their influence on quality of learning, self-evaluation, goal setting, decision making, and inclusive education as […]
• The Effects of the Media on Creativity and Self-Esteem The controversy surrounding British sprinter Linford Christie and the British tabloid press in the mid nineties illustrates a crucial and heart breaking example of the media’s might in the area of self esteem.
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• What Is the Interrelated Role of Self-Esteem and Interpersonal Stressors in Predicting Adolescent Depression?
• Do Social Phobia and Low Self-Esteem Cause Unhealthy Eating Behaviors?
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• How Does Our Self-Esteem Affect Interpersonal Communication?
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IvyPanda. (2023, November 30). 106 Ideas, Examples, and Topics on Self Esteem. https://ivypanda.com/essays/topic/self-esteem-essay-topics/

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A short essay on the value of self-esteem

This short essay narrates characteristics of high self-esteem and low self-esteem. Also, it describes how to increase self-esteem. Create positive relationships and avoid negatives - you can then improve your self-esteem.

Introduction

Features of high self-esteem, features of low self-esteem, high self-confidence and shattered self-esteem, ways to increase self-esteem.

Your own opinion of you is nothing but self-esteem. Analysing yourself and understanding your own strong points and weak points can be termed self-esteem. Once you find that have healthy self-esteem, you feel good about yourself. You give more value to your opinions and ideas. But if you have low self-esteem, you may not give good little value to your opinions and ideas. Self-esteem will give you self confidence. You will have confidence in yourself and you will not compromise on doing a low-level activity. A man with self-esteem and self-confidence can deliver goods. But a person with low self-esteem may depend more on the ideas of somebody else. One should be careful and see that their self-confidence will become overconfidence. Overconfidence may make you fall in life. A person with overconfidence will never do enough exercise to plan and execute action properly which may lead to his failure.

The author beautifully explained high and low self-esteem. A person often sees himself from the point of view of self-estimation, but self-estimation is such a feeling that we get from our assessment of ourselves. Self-esteem is also closely related to self-confidence, a confident person knows how to maintain his honor and pride. When any work is not of your mind or any person does not work according to you, then if you connect that also with self-esteem, it will be giving you unnecessary trouble. Every person in the world wants to live life according to himself and if someone is doing this then why should yours or anyone else's self-respect be below in this. When you are focused on your own development, then these small things do not matter to you, and when you keep your thinking open and broad for the development and good of other people too with your own development, then your self-esteem also increases.

Self-esteem is one's opinion about himself. With good self-esteem, a person can feel secure and valuable. But when a person has high self-esteem, he can feel superior to others and it may deteriorate the relationship because in that case, he will blame his partner for any problem in their relationship. Overly high self-esteem may become a cause of violent and aggressive behaviour. So, to remain confident and develop healthy relationships, one must have healthy self-esteem. You will feel good about yourself when you will have healthy self-esteem. Others will also feel good about themselves. So have healthy self-esteem instead of overly high self-esteem.

The best way to build high self-esteem is to be kind to oneself. When a friend comes to us with low self-esteem, we do our best to boost his confidence. Through the power of appreciation, we build his morale. We don't criticize him and take him further down. Then why can't we boost our self-esteem? We know our strengths and weaknesses. When we fail, we have to lift ourselves back and keep going. When negativity strikes us and we start doubting ourselves, we have to get rid of all those negative thoughts. Replace negativity with positive thoughts. We should never criticize ourselves. We may not reach where we wanted to but we have to appreciate ourselves for making the effort. Never let anyone take us down. Sometimes we don't compare ourselves with others. However, there will be plenty of people around us who will compare our success with others. It will shift our focus from us towards the person with whom we are compared. As soon as we do that, we will lower our self-esteem. It is because there will always be people around us who are more good-looking, skillful, healthy and wealthy than us. To build high self-esteem our focus should only be on ourselves. It should never be shifted to the other person. Periodical evaluation is also necessary. Since we are our competition, we need to keep working on ourselves and bring improvement in us little by little. We don't have to take big leaps if we are not comfortable. A single step would be more than necessary. After a few weeks or months when we see our progress report, it instills confidence in us that we are in a better position than we were a few days ago. This will automatically boost our self-esteem.

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Why Gardening Is So Good for You

Digging holes can be a workout and mood booster all rolled into one.

By Dana G. Smith

Dana Smith reported this story from Plant Hardiness Zone 8a.

Last Saturday, I was covered in dirt, my back ached, the scream of a trillion cicadas rang in my ears, and, despite my best efforts, a sunburn was developing on the back of my neck.

I was in heaven.

Over the course of the day, I planted my summer haul of annuals (a riot of reds, purples and yellows), transplanted some fall-blooming mums and pulled a Montauk daisy that had grown too big for the space. A neighbor took the daisy off my hands, and in return gifted me some iris and lamb’s ear that he needed to thin out of his yard.

For me, gardening is a workout, meditation and opportunity to socialize with my neighbors all rolled into one. And while I’m admittedly biased, research backs up some of my observations that gardening can have real benefits for your mind and body .

Gardening gets you moving.

Shoveling mulch, pulling weeds and lugging around a watering can all qualify as moderate-intensity physical activities . And gardeners tend to report higher levels of physical activity overall, compared with non-gardeners.

In one recent study conducted in Colorado, for example, people who joined a community garden logged nearly six extra minutes a day of moderate-to-vigorous physical activity compared with people who were on the waiting list for a plot. That may not sound like a lot, but it added up to about 42 extra minutes per week, said Jill Litt, a professor of environmental health at the University of Colorado at Boulder, who ran the trial.

“That’s almost 30 percent of the way to meeting the federal recommendations” of 150 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity per week, Dr. Litt said. “People talk about it as a way to meet these goals and be more active but not having to get on a treadmill.”

There is also some evidence that gardeners, possibly because of this increased activity, have better cardio-metabolic health. One study of older adults found that, compared with those who don’t exercise, people who gardened as one of their main physical activities had lower rates of heart attack, stroke, diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

Some of the more vigorous gardening activities, like digging, raking and hauling bags of potting soil, can also serve as a strength workout, challenging muscles in the arms, legs and core.

Not every study shows physical health benefits from gardening, though, especially when the activities are lower intensity or done for just 10 or 15 minutes at a time. It’s also possible that people who choose gardening as a hobby are healthier and more active than non-gardeners even before they dig in.

Gardening does wonders for your mental well-being.

Some studies report that working in a garden lowers people’s scores on anxiety and depression measures; other research has found increased confidence and self-esteem among gardeners. In one small study , spending 30 minutes gardening lowered levels of the stress hormone cortisol .

Experts think there are a few possible ways gardening improves mental health. First, physical activity itself is a well-established way to boost mood.

Many people also report feeling a sense of meaning and purpose when they garden, which is an important contributor to well-being .

“Working with plants, people kind of see where they fit in the world,” said Emilee Weaver, the program manager of therapeutic horticulture at the North Carolina Botanical Garden. “They see why they’re valuable because of the cause-and-effect relationship that plants so visibly articulate.”

In addition, gardening, especially in community or allotment gardens, can help people build social connections and combat loneliness . In the Colorado study, participants talked about the relationships they developed and said they felt more bonded to their community through gardening.

“They’re fostering social connection. They’re getting more involved,” Dr. Litt said. “They talk about sense of belonging. They talk about shared learning. All of these processes are really important for mental health.”

If you garden at home, putting a bed in the front yard instead of the back could similarly spur conversation and bring together neighbors, she added.

It’s possible that the act of getting your hands dirty could have a positive effect on your mood, as well. There is some research to suggest that bacteria in soil can alter the microbiome in a way that reduces stress and inflammation.

If playing in the dirt isn’t your thing, just being outdoors in a natural environment can provide stress relief and help people recover from mental fatigue, said Carly Wood, a senior lecturer in sport and exercise science at the University of Essex in England, who researches the mental health benefits of nature-based interventions, including gardening .

That may be because being in nature activates the mind and senses in a way that takes your attention off other things. “Natural environments are fascinating,” Dr. Wood said. “All their features inherently engage us and kind of distract us, in a way, from our stressors.”

And you don’t need to spend all day outdoors to reap the benefits, she said. “Five minutes is enough to improve your self-esteem and your mood.”

Dana G. Smith is a Times reporter covering personal health, particularly aging and brain health. More about Dana G. Smith

The Joys of Gardening

Whether you’re limited to an apartment window box or looking to start a backyard vegetable garden, these tips can help..

Digging holes can be both a workout and mood booster. Here’s why gardening is so good for you .

You can grow enchanting potted topiaries. You just have to follow a few simple rules . (Also, forget about going away for the weekend.)

Is y our garden missing something ? An imposing work of pottery can be as important to the design of a landscape as any well-placed plant. And no, not just flower pots.

Want to create a living fence? Or maybe you’d like to produce a harvest of leaves and twigs to feed livestock, or simply enliven the landscape with color? There’s a willow for that .

Are you thinking of growing onions from seeds? Here’s what you need to know .

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Trying to cut down on weeding time? This Craftsman stirrup hoe  can help.

Garden hoses are unremarkable when they work well, but if they underperform, they’ll drive you insane. These are the best ones on the market .

If you want to build your own raised garden beds, consider investing in planter wall blocks .

To make all that hard work in the garden easier, you will need the right gear. Here are some must-have items , from a sun hat to comfortable sandals.

Find more useful gardening tools here .

The Great Exhaustion era: How work consumes our energy and even our free time

Some 44% of workers say they feel stressed, a record high figure that suggests burnout is not a psychological problem but rather a structural one.

Beatriz Serrano was locked in her home, like half the world, due to Covid-19 restrictions. She couldn’t meet her friends or go for a walk, but she had to work at an exhausting pace. After a video conference, she went out to a small interior courtyard, and heard the silence: “I remembered all the stories I had heard about the end of the world, from H.G. Wells’ aliens to the Mad Max water wars, and I thought: ‘Wow, it seems like it’s the end of the world, and it’s going to catch us working,’ explains Serrano, who worked in the communication sector.

She found that depressing, but also inspiring, so she began to write about the experience. It was the seed of El Descontento (The Discontent), a novel about disillusionment and capitalist work culture. The book was published a few months ago and has become a small publishing phenomenon (with translations underway in Italy, France, England and the U.S.). The author attributes its success to the fact that the story of Marisa, her protagonist, is the story of many people. It’s the story of the Serrano, who left her job and today is a writer and journalist at EL PAÍS. And that of many readers. “Many people write to me to tell me that they identify with it. It’s not that they tell me ‘I am Marisa,’ it’s that they tell me ‘we are all Marisa’,” she says.

Writer and computer scientist Cal Newport has called it The Great Exhaustion , describing a society where everyone is tired, burned out, and feeling that they cannot survive. Against this backdrop, people are seeking to redesign their relationship with work and prioritize their personal lives — a trend confirmed by a recent 40dB survey for EL PAÍS. In this survey, respondents were given seven options and asked to rank them from most important to least. The first was mental health, followed by family and having free time. Having a good job was ranked in fourth place, and having a good economic level in seventh.

If burnout syndrome reflected an individual phenomenon, The Great Exhaustion points to the collective problem behind it. Culture and the internet have played a crucial role in spreading this idea, appearing in memes, literature and music. Serrano’s book is a good example. “For me there are two key moments to understand all this. One was the [financial] crisis of 2008, which forced us to find a way to make ends meet. And another was the pandemic, which forced us to bring our lives to a halt,” explains the author. When life when back to normal, something had broken. The world forced people to resume heir previous rhythm, but many people simply did not want to.

This led to several social phenomona related to work. The first was The Great Resignation, when 47 million people voluntarily left their jobs in the U.S. alone, according to the Department of Labor. Then there were union struggles for remote working and more work-life balance. Finally, last year people began to talk about quiet quitting: working just enough, without doing overtime or putting in extra effort. A paradigm shift began to take shape.

But the workplace did not adapt. The nature of the workplace, however, did undergo important changes during the pandemic. In the first few months, there was an exponential increase in digital communications: Zoom and Slack became a lifeline amid the work tsunami. The use of these platforms increased by 350% and 400% respectively. It became normal to use more informal communication channels such as WhatsApp to discuss work issues. And so, work began to seep into workers’ homes and private lives. Technology helped blur the borders between both worlds.

After the pandemic, workers returned to the office, but the amount of digital communication remained the same. According to a Microsoft report , time spent in online meetings increased more than 350% between February 2020 and 2022. Users of the Microsoft Office suite now spend about 60% of their time using digital communication tools — email, chat and video conferencing—, and the remaining 40% to creation programs, such as Word, Excel and PowerPoint. One in four workers spends nine hours a week on email alone. Almost two in three people (64%) say they have difficulty finding the time and energy they need to do their work, according to this report.

The problem with this new reality is that the rise in digital communication is associated in research with a fall in satisfaction. And this is reflected in the numbers. The latest report from the Gallup consulting firm on employment, published in 2023, provided historical data: 44% of workers felt stressed. The figures are unprecedented and can’t be explained just by the greater use of email. For Yolanda García Rodríguez, professor in the department of Social, Work and Differential Psychology at the Complutense University of Madrid, “work demands are now greater. The complexity of the tasks is greater, the qualifications required in jobs are increasing. Very quick decision-making, continuous and rapid adaptation to new technologies and greater competition and productivity are required.”

On the other hand, successive crises, unstable work conditions and precarious jobs have created a volatile environment that has helped change how workers think about their relationship with their employers. “Workers’ job expectations and their level of job self-esteem are stymied. Syndromes such as imposter syndrome have emerged and the probability of emotional exhaustion or burnout syndrome has risen,” explains the expert. Jobs are no longer what they were, so neither are our relationships with them.

To retain a worker, companies have chosen to create a new narrative that sees work not only as a way to earn money, but also to gain status. “Suddenly, jobs are exciting, they define us, they fulfill our dreams,” says Juan Evaristo Valls Boix, professor of Philosophy of Culture at the Complutense University of Madrid . “All these team-building practices are emerging, the mantra is that in this job we are like a family ,” he adds. And so, in our private lives, we begin to imitate a business mindset.

When leisure is also tiring

The Great Exhaustion starts at work, but it also transcends it. Terms such as burnout — traditionally associated with work — have begun to be applied to parenting in recent years. According to a report from Ohio State University , 66% of working parents reported being burned out. Exhaustion is beginning to spill over into other social spheres such as leisure. Meeting up with friends has to be planned weeks in advance, everyone is exhausted and no one has time.

Valls Boix says that this is because “the capitalist logic of work, that is, of investment and profit, is expanding and saturating other spheres of life.” The philosopher believes that we have become small entrepreneurs of our free time. There is a cult of productivity that begins in the office, but permeates our private lives. “A kind of overlap has been happened between the logic of work and the affective space and emotions,” he explains. Friends are seen as social capital, dating as job interviews, with dating apps operating as castings and social networks that push us to create content to boost our personal brand.

Leisure is no longer about doing nothing, but rather about filling our scarce free time with experiences: reading the books that need to be read, watching the series that are being talked about, going to the trendiest party or trying the latest viral restaurant, if you manage to get a reservation. “This is the most perverse part,” says Valls Boix. “We are not working, but we continue with the work dynamic.” This leads to a stressed-out society, where even leisure is no longer about relaxation and disconnecting. WhatsApp audios and TV series are played at 2x speed, hobbies are monetized and syndromes such as FOMO become a problem. A culture that glorifies being always busy is starting to form: hustle culture. “We live in constant excitement, overstimulated, and that can be frustrating and exhausting,” says Valls Boix.

In this way, not only work, but also leisure can also lead to the feeling of exhaustion. According to a recent report from the International Monetary Fund (IMF), the number of hours worked has fallen by 3.8% compared to 2008. The OECD also indicated in different reports that, in recent decades, effective working hours have decreased by gradually.

We work less, but we are more tired. This apparent paradox has sparked the interest of experts and social psychologists, who are investigating the dynamics that influence our perception of time. Hal E. Hershfield is one of them. This professor of Marketing and Behavioral Decision Making at the University of California, author of the essay Your Future Self, believes that the problem is not so much about quantity, but rather quality. “Actually, I think we have a lot more time. But what do we use it for? If we spend it on the phone, watching TV or doing things without meaning or purpose, I don’t see how it will benefit us.”

To investigate this idea, Hershfield conducted a macro study with data from 35,000 people . The research analyzed whether there was a direct relationship between the amount of free time a person has and their subjective well-being. The expert and his colleagues found that having little free time leads to increased stress and discomfort. It wasn’t a big surprise. More striking was the realization that having too much time is not positive either. There is an exact point of free time, around five hours a day, after which unease begins to rise. Although this discomfort was reduced if free time was filled with social activities.

In the classic 1930 essay Economic Possibilities of Our Grandchildren , John Keynes predicted a 21st century with a 15-hour work week. It seems that the economist missed the mark, but in that text, he shared a reflection that can be applied to the current context: “There is no country and no people, I think, who can look forward to the age of leisure and of abundance without a dread. For we have been trained too long to strive and not to enjoy.” This idea, expressed almost a century ago, may be at the root of what has come to be called The Great Exhaustion. Work continues to be at the center of society, of conversations, of cities. And although many people have rethought their relationship with it, work dynamics have permeated every corner of our lives. Technological advances have helped streamline work and delocalize it, but they are blurring the boundaries between work and personal life, creating a perpetual state of connectivity. This can be stimulating. But it is also exhausting.

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