how to write a college essay about someone who influenced you

Tips for an Admissions Essay on an Influential Person

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It's not unusual for a college admissions essay to talk about a person who played an important role in your development. Whether this is a parent, a friend, a coach, or a teacher, such essays can be powerful if they avoid common pitfalls.

Key Takeaways: An Essay on an Influential Person

• Don't just describe a person you admire. Be analytical and reflective to explain why you admire them.
• Essays focused on parents or celebrities are common and often not the best choice for your focus.
• All good application essays are about you , even when you are writing about someone else, so make sure the admissions folks are getting to know you through your essay.

With the pre-2013 Common Application , one of the essay prompts stated, "Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence." While you won't find this question among the seven 2020-21 Common Application essay prompts , the current application still allows you to write about an influential person with the "topic of your choice" option . Some of the other prompts also leave the door open for writing about an influential person.

Do Much More than Describe the Influential Person

Any essay on an influential person needs to do much more than describe that person. The act of describing requires very little critical thought, and as a result, it doesn't demonstrate the kind of analytical, reflective, and thoughtful writing that will be required of you in college. Be sure to examine why the person was influential to you, and you should analyze the ways in which you have changed because of your relationship with the person.

Think Twice About Essays on Mom or Dad

There is nothing wrong with writing about one of your parents for this essay, but make sure your relationship with your parent is unusual and compelling in some way. The admissions folks get a lot of essays that focus on a parent, and your writing won't stand out if you simply make generic points about parenting. If you find yourself making points like "my Dad was a great role model" or "my mother always pushed me to do my best," rethink your approach to the question. Consider the millions of students who could write the exact same essay.

Don't Be Star Struck

In most cases, you should avoid writing an essay about the lead singer in your favorite band or the movie star who you idolize. Such essays can be okay if handled well, but often the writer ends up sounding like a pop culture junkie rather than a thoughtful independent thinker.

Obscure Subject Matter is Fine

Be sure to read Max's essay on an influential person. Max writes about a rather unremarkable junior high kid he encountered while teaching summer camp. The essay succeeds in part because the choice of subject matter is unusual and obscure. Among a million application essays, Max's will be the only one to focus on this young boy. Also, the boy isn't even a role model. Instead, he's an ordinary kid who inadvertently makes Max challenge his preconceptions.

The "Significant Influence" Need Not Be Positive

The majority of essays written about influential people focus on role models: "my Mom/Dad/brother/friend/teacher/neighbor/coach taught me to be a better person through his or her great example..." Such essays are often excellent, but they are also a bit predictable. Keep in mind that a person can have a significant influence without having an entirely "positive" influence. Jill's essay , for example, focuses on a woman with only a few positive qualities. You could even write about someone who is abusive or hateful. Evil can have as much "influence" on us as good.

You Are Also Writing About Yourself

When you choose to write about a person who has had an influence on you, you will be most successful if you are also reflective and introspective. Your essay will be partly about the influential person, but it is equally about you. To understand someone's influence on you, you need to understand yourself — your strengths, your short-comings, the areas where you still need to grow.

As with the college admissions essay, you need to make sure a response reveals your own interests, passions, personality, and character. The details of this essay need to reveal that you are the type of person who will contribute to the campus community in a positive way.

• Tips for the Pre-2013 Personal Essay Options on the Common Application
• 5 Tips for a College Admissions Essay on an Important Issue
• Sample College Admissions Essay - Student Teacher
• The 2021-22 Common Application Essay Prompts
• Common Application Essay Option 4—Gratitude
• Addressing Diversity in a College Application Essay
• "My Dads" - Sample Common Application Essay for Option #1
• Tips for an Application Essay on a Significant Experience
• Tips for Writing an Essay on an Event That Led to Personal Growth
• How to Ace Your University of Wisconsin Personal Statements
• Bad Essay Topics for College Admissions
• 2020-21 Common Application Essay Option 4—Solving a Problem
• UC Personal Statement Prompt #1
• Topic of Your Choice: Common Application Essay Tips
• A Sample Essay for Common Application Option #7: Topic of Your Choice
• Tips for the College Interview Question "Who Has Most Influenced You?"

Sample Essays: Influential Person

Please select from the following sample application essays:

Essay 1: Wellesley | Essay 2: Harvard | Essay 3: Harvard

Note: The following essays were not edited by EssayEdge Editors. They appear as they were initially reviewed by admissions officers.

Sample Essay 1

Wellesley, Influence of mother

It took me eighteen years to realize what an extraordinary influence my mother has been on my life. She's the kind of person who has thoughtful discussions about which artist she would most want to have her portrait painted by (Sargent), the kind of mother who always has time for her four children, and the kind of community leader who has a seat on the board of every major project to assist Washington's impoverished citizens. Growing up with such a strong role model, I developed many of her enthusiasms. I not only came to love the excitement of learning simply for the sake of knowing something new, but I also came to understand the idea of giving back to the community in exchange for a new sense of life, love, and spirit.

My mother's enthusiasm for learning is most apparent in travel. I was nine years old when my family visited Greece. Every night for three weeks before the trip, my older brother Peter and I sat with my mother on her bed reading Greek myths and taking notes on the Greek Gods. Despite the fact that we were traveling with fourteen-month-old twins, we managed to be at each ruin when the site opened at sunrise. I vividly remember standing in an empty ampitheatre pretending to be an ancient tragedian, picking out my favorite sculpture in the Acropolis museum, and inserting our family into modified tales of the battle at Troy. Eight years and half a dozen passport stamps later I have come to value what I have learned on these journeys about global history, politics and culture, as well as my family and myself.

While I treasure the various worlds my mother has opened to me abroad, my life has been equally transformed by what she has shown me just two miles from my house. As a ten year old, I often accompanied my mother to (name deleted), a local soup kitchen and children's center. While she attended meetings, I helped with the Summer Program by chasing children around the building and performing magic tricks. Having finally perfected the "floating paintbrush" trick, I began work as a full time volunteer with the five and six year old children last June. It is here that I met Jane Doe, an exceptionally strong girl with a vigor that is contagious. At the end of the summer, I decided to continue my work at (name deleted) as Jane's tutor. Although the position is often difficult, the personal rewards are beyond articulation. In the seven years since I first walked through the doors of (name deleted), I have learned not only the idea of giving to others, but also of deriving from them a sense of spirit.

Everything that my mother has ever done has been overshadowed by the thought behind it. While the raw experiences I have had at home and abroad have been spectacular, I have learned to truly value them by watching my mother. She has enriched my life with her passion for learning, and changed it with her devotion to humanity. In her endless love of everything and everyone she is touched by, I have seen a hope and life that is truly exceptional. Next year, I will find a new home miles away. However, my mother will always be by my side.

The topic of this essay is the writer's mother. However, the writer definitely focuses on herself, which makes this essay so strong. She manages to impress the reader with her travel experience, volunteer and community experience, and commitment to learning without ever sounding boastful or full of herself. The essay is also very well organized.

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Sample Essay 2

Harvard, Favorite fictional character

Of all the characters that I've "met" through books and movies, two stand out as people that I most want to emulate. They are Attacus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird and Dr. Archibald "Moonlight" Graham from Field of Dreams. They appeal to me because they embody what I strive to be. They are influential people in small towns who have a direct positive effect on those around them. I, too, plan to live in a small town after graduating from college, and that positive effect is something I must give in order to be satisfied with my life.

Both Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham are strong supporting characters in wonderful stories. They symbolize good, honesty, and wisdom. When the story of my town is written I want to symbolize those things. The base has been formed for me to live a productive, helpful life. As an Eagle Scout I represent those things that Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham represent. In the child/adolescent world I am Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham, but soon I'll be entering the adult world, a world in which I'm not yet prepared to lead.

I'm quite sure that as teenagers Attacus Finch and Moonlight Graham often wondered what they could do to help others. They probably emulated someone who they had seen live a successful life. They saw someone like my grandfather, 40-year president of our hometown bank, enjoy a lifetime of leading, sharing, and giving. I have seen him spend his Christmas Eves taking gifts of food and joy to indigent families. Often when his bank could not justify a loan to someone in need, my grandfather made the loan from his own pocket. He is a real-life Moonlight Graham, a man who has shown me that characters like Dr. Graham and Mr. Finch do much much more than elicit tears and smiles from readers and movie watchers. Through him and others in my family I feel I have acquired the values and the burning desire to benefit others that will form the foundation for a great life. I also feel that that foundation is not enough. I do not yet have the sophistication, knowledge, and wisdom necessary to succeed as I want to in the adult world. I feel that Harvard, above all others, can guide me toward the life of greatness that will make me the Attacus Finch of my town.

This essay is a great example of how to answer this question well. This applicant chose characters who demonstrated specific traits that reflect on his own personality. We believe that he is sincere about his choices because his reasons are personal (being from a small town, and so forth). He managed to tell us a good deal about himself, his values, and his goals while maintaining a strong focus throughout.

Sample Essay 3

Harvard, Family illness: Mother's fight with cancer

I am learning, both through observations and first-hand experiences, that there are many mishaps in life which seem to be unexplainable and unfair, and yet have devastating consequences. Disease fits into this category. Its atrocity does not stem from the fact that it is a rare or uncommon occurrence, since illness and disease pervade our lives as we hear numerous stories of sick people and come into contact with them each day. However, there is a marked difference between reading in the newspaper that a famous rock star or sports icon has tested H.I.V. positive and discovering that your own mother has been diagnosed with cancer.

Undoubtedly, the most influential people in my life have been my mother and father. It is to them that I credit many of my accomplishments and successes--both inside and outside of school. Throughout my childhood, my parents have always fostered and encouraged me in all my endeavors. At all my sporting events, spelling bees, concerts, and countless other activities, they have always been front row and center. My parents, in conjunction with twelve years of Catholic training, have also instilled in me a sound belief in a loving, caring God, which I have come to firmly believe. It therefore should not come as a surprise that the news of my mothers sickness would greatly alter my entire outlook on life. Where was my God?

My mother, in fact, had been aware of her condition in the spring of my junior year in high school. She deliberately did not inform my sister or me of her illness because she did not want to distract us from our studies. Instead, my mother waited for the completion of her radiation therapy treatments. At this time, she brought me into her room, sat me down on the same wooden rocking chair from which she used to read me bedtime stories, and began to relate her story. I did not weep, I did not flinch. In fact, I hardly even moved, but from that point onward, I vowed that I would do anything and everything to please my mother and make her proud of me.

Every subsequent award won and every honor bestowed upon me has been inspired by the recollection of my mother's plight. I look to her as a driving force of motivation. In her I see the firm, enduring qualities of courage, strength, hope, and especially love. Whenever I feel discouraged or dispirited, I remember the example set by my mother and soon become reinvigorated. Instead of groveling in my sorrow, I think of all the pain and suffering that my mother had to endure and am revived with new energy after realizing the triviality of my own predicament. For instance, last year, when I was playing in a championship soccer game, my leg became entangled with a forwards leg on the other team, and I wound up tearing my medial cruciate ligament. I was very upset for having injured myself in such a seemingly inane manner. Completely absorbed in my own anguish, I would not talk to anyone and instead lamented on the sidelines. But then I remembered something that my mother used to say to me whenever something like this happened: If this is the worst thing that ever happens to you, I'll be very happy, and you'll be very lucky. Instantly, many thoughts race through my mind. I pictured my mother as a young thirteen-year-old walking to the hospital every day after school to visit her sick father. She had always told me how extremely painful it had been to watch his body become emaciated as the cancer advanced day by day and finally took its toll. I then pictured my mother in the hospital, thirty years later, undergoing all the physically and mentally debilitating tests, and having to worry about her husband and her children at the same time. I suddenly felt incredibly ashamed at how immature I had been acting over my own affliction. I gathered my thoughts and instead of sulking or complaining, helped coach my team to victory.

I am very happy to say that my mother is now feeling much better and her periodic checkups and C.A.T. scans have indicated that she is doing very well. Nevertheless, her strength and courage will remain a constant source of inspiration to me. I feel confident to greet the future with a resolute sense of hope and optimism.

The majority of the suggestions for this essay highlight the danger inherent in relying on an overly poignant topic, in this case the writer's mother's bout with cancer. Part of why the reactions to this piece are so passionate (and why there are so many of them) is because had the applicant just taken a slightly different approach, he could have had a powerful and touching composition on his hands. It is always frustrating when a piece with so much potential misses the mark. In this case, the material and emotion are all there. Had he spent more time and written with more sincerity, this essay might have been a real winner.

I wish this kid had started the essay with his mom sitting him down in the rocking chair. That would have been a powerful beginning. In general, using the introduction of the essay to paint a scene or mood can be very effective.

He should begin with the most simple and striking sentence possible, such as "On January 5, 1995, my mother learned that she had cancer." Use real times and exact places. Let the most dramatic point go where it belongs, at the end of the sentence--also known as the stress point.

Because this topic is so personal, I yearn to know more about the student's reaction to his mom's cancer, how he and his family dealt with it over time. As written, things just seem a bit too tidy.

The author describes a valuable life lesson, but I find the writing style to be artificial and a bit maudlin. I imagine he resorted to the thesaurus more than once.

The writer tells us a sad story about his mother with cancer and how he has strived to do his best because of what his mother has been through. The topic can be a tear jerker, but this essay lacked the depth and richness that other essays with similar topics possess.

The experience obviously impacted the student very much. But what students do not realize is that they do not have to share such personal issues within the confines of a college essay.

I don't believe the "epiphany" in the conclusion as it's described. It's too easy and convenient to be believable. He begins his description with "For instance," which negates almost everything that follows. When he sees his mother in his mind, he "instantly" thinks this and "suddenly" does that, and finally "helped coach his team to victory." He "coached" the team. "Cheered" maybe. "Coached?" No way.

This essay smells of contrivance. Yes, his mother's bout with cancer affected him. Just not in the way he wants me to believe. This is the "lasting sanctifying effect" essay. Look at what the writer is actually saying (using his own words): I used to be "absorbed in my own anguish" and "lament" my bouts with adversity. But, "instantly" or "suddenly" (take your pick), I became a young man "confident to greet the future with a resolute sense of hope and optimism." Why not say, "I used to be a thoughtless, immature teenager. My mother got cancer. I'm now a thoughtful, mature adult. You should admit me to _____." His essay is no less subtle.

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Describing a Person Who Influenced You: Personal Experience. Essay

• To find inspiration for your paper and overcome writer’s block
• As a source of information (ensure proper referencing)
• As a template for you assignment

In everyone’s life there is a person who is considered to be the closest one in the whole world. For me this person is my mother. My mother influences every step of my life: how I live and interact with other people. She is an inspiration for my achievements and guidance into the successful future. She has always helped me to overcome any difficulties that I faced since early childhood trying to give me hopes for better future. My mother combines the best features which a person may have; she is a clever, kind and open woman with beautiful appearance and rich inner world.

My mother is Dominican; she is quite a pretty and well educated woman. Despite her age she looks young and beautiful. My mother is not very tall though her height underlines her regular features. She has short curly black hair and shining brown eyes. I want to note that her eyes deserve additional attention because they are so kind and frank that one cannot but notice her open and friendly character at once, during the first seconds of communication with her.

I like her smile most of all in the world. It is so beautiful that when she smiles I cannot but smile too. Her light complexion and big blushed cheeks especially emphasize her charming smile. My mother’s skin is very soft and tender; when I hold her hands in mine I feel that I am protected from the whole world and I feel the happiest person. I like the way my mother dresses. She always tries to keep pace with fashion though her style is unique and individual.

She is slim and has a wonderful figure; her clothes lay a stress on her beautiful features. I would like to note that my mother is a wonderful person not only out but also inside. To my way of thinking she is the reflection of light; not in vain her name Lucia is translated from Italian as “light”. She is an open, responsive and light person who is always there to help and support me at difficult moments of my life.

For me my mother is the cleverest person in the world. I can speak a lot about my mother because she is considered to be my reflection and my hero. One day I had to clean my room before the arrival of my relatives. My mother asked me: “Please, do something with your box of old posters. It takes a lot of space.” I was in hesitation but answered: “Ok. I’ll try…” She knew that they were very important for me to throw them out. I was really upset because they took too much place in my room.

Next day when I returned home from school I found out that my box disappeared. I was in despair. Suddenly my mother asked me to bring something from our attic. I went there and found out that all the walls in the room were decorated with my posters. That moment I felt really happy. I cried: “Thank you, mom!!!” Her idea to use my old posters as a decoration was just wonderful. I can surely say that my mother is the cleverest person.

My mother is really the kindness person in the world. When I was small, my mother made a special present for me. I came after school and she gave me a puppy. “He is so cute” I said. “This is for you! Take care of him. He is very small and helpless. He really needs your care.” – said my mother watching how happy I was. It is difficult to describe my feelings that day. It was my dream and my puppy became a member of our family. Two days later I got to know that my mother found this small creature near the store. It was hungry and miserable. My mother could not but took puppy home, washed and fed him. Now this puppy is a strong big dog which lives with my family and we love him very much. I can say without hesitation that my mother is the kindness person in the world.

My mother is a very wise person who can always find solution to any problems. I understand that her life experience helps her to make right decisions. But there are some situations when her opinion completely contradicts my own. And as a result she always appears to be right. Her logical thinking helps our family to live in harmony and happiness. We have never quarreled because of some trifles and my mother taught me to find a half way with people even when you cannot agree with their views.

For example, when my cousin and I quarreled who would do the work about the house, my mother offered to work in the form of a game. The speed and high quality of work enabled us to win a price. “I bought two tickets for the concert. If you combine your efforts, you would enjoy the play of your favorite group this evening.” The work was shared equally and done in time. This idea was really wise. I consider that my mother knows the way out of any difficult situation!

Of course it is impossible to describe all the features of my mother in the short piece of writing but I would like to say that this person takes the first place in my life. I would be always thankful to her for all she has done for me. I am pretty sure that she is the reason for all my achievements and victories. Her qualities helped me to understand how people should behave in life. She taught me a lot and now I can easily overcome any problems I face. My mother is the only hero of my life.

She combines only positive features which a person can have. I am really proud to have such a mother as mine. I consider her the greatest person in my life who helped me to become the person I am now and influenced every step of my thoughts and behavior. She is the only inspiration for all actions and decisions of mine. I am really proud of her!

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Essay Tip #2-The "Influential Person" Essay

Mark montgomery.

• August 4, 2011

Many college applications, including  The Common Application  , ask an essay question about “the most influential person in your life”. Why, or how, that person influenced you. A key tip to answering this essay is to remember that it is not necessarily about whom you choose to write about but how you write the essay and connect it back to yourself.

One of the most common responses that students give when writing on this essay topic was that it was either a parent or a grandparent who influenced them. For some, it may be a teacher, a coach, a friend, a child, a counselor, or numerous other options.

When writing this essay think about spending less time writing about whom that person was. But actually how they influenced you. Remember that the admission counselor reading your application wants to learn about you,  not necessarily the person who influenced you.

For example, if you choose to write about your grandfather consider the following. Many students write that their grandfather influenced their life. Because they were kind, generous, overcame adversity, taught them new things, were hard workers, etc.

Some students spend the entire essay spouting all of the wonderful attributes about their grandfather. But forget that the essay is supposed to show the admission committee who they (the student) are. You don’t want the admission committee to want to admit your grandfather at the end of reading your essay- you want them to want to admit you!

This is not to say don’t write about your grandfather (or grandmother, mother, father, or person of your choice). It is simply to say, think about writing the essay in a way that connects the individual you choose to write about back to you. What makes you a person that the college would want to have as part of their community?

Can you elaborate on specific examples from your relationship with that influential person that impacted your way of thinking? Or, can you discuss certain actions you took as a result of lessons learned from that individual? Perhaps, you can even consider relating what you learned from that influential person to something that you hope to do, or accomplish, in college or in the future.

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‘Someone Who Has Made an Impact On Your Life’ Essay Sample

EssayEdge > Blog > ‘Someone Who Has Made an Impact On Your Life’ Essay Sample

“Describe a person who has influenced you” is the opening phrase of several personal statement prompts that go on to ask that you provide details of what that influence was. The major mistake made in these personal statement essays is that candidates make the essay about the individual and that individual’s achievements and character, which is all fine, but not if it is at the expense of detailing how that person has influenced you. The other mistake candidates make in response to this prompt is that they answer with the intuitive “first response,” which is usually a parent. And there is nothing wrong with offering a parent as the influential person – but only if in so doing, you can show that it was your parent who provided you with the abilities and interests that set you apart and can contribute to the target program.

As is the case with most personal statement essays, the success of your essay is determined before you begin writing – by what you decide to offer as content. In this essay there are many approaches to use – parents, siblings, teachers, coaches, friends, political leaders, celebrities – all of these categories can be tapped when it comes to the choice of who it was that influenced you. Let’s discuss how to write an essay about someone who influenced you and avoid the most typical mistakes.

The Trap to Avoid in Your “Who Has Influenced You the Most in Your Life” Essay

The trap to avoid is the trap of selecting a person without thinking through what you can offer as the influence. What is the strongest aspect of your candidacy? Your creativity? Your communication skills? Your technical background? Your professional background? The answer to this question – “What is the strongest aspect of your candidacy?” – is what should determine your subject matter for personal statement essays about a person who influenced you.

If your strength, say, is your background in a particular field, in your personal statement about a person who influenced you, identify the person who steered you in the direction of that field.

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By doing this, you will use your essay about a person who influenced your life not only as a means to describe someone with positive traits you would like to emulate, but someone whose influence in your life was critical in letting you develop those skills that most set you apart as a candidate.

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You certainly had someone who changed your life, even if you feel it difficult to remember who it was. This essay topic is fantastic because it lets you look at yourself from a different angle, so try to analyze your life and express it in writing. Our experts edit essays 24/7 , so if you need professional guidance and advice, you’re welcome.

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Home Essay Samples Life

Essay Samples on Someone Who Inspires Me

At its core, inspiration is a powerful force that ignites passion, propels dreams, and molds individuals into extraordinary beings. It is the vibrant pulse that surges through our veins, pushing us to achieve greatness even in the face of adversity. Crafting an essay about someone who inspires you allows you to shine a spotlight on the transformative power of such individuals.

How to Write an Essay on Someone Who Inspires Me

Here are some useful example you shpuld consider when writing a college essay about someone who inspires you:

• Consider beginning with a heartfelt introduction that captivates the reader’s attention and sets the stage for the awe-inspiring journey to come.
• Share a personal anecdote or a defining moment that sparked the connection between you and your inspirational figure, allowing the reader to empathize with your experience.
• Delve into the qualities and actions that make this individual so inspiring. Explore their accomplishments, perseverance, and unwavering determination. Showcase how their words and deeds have impacted your life, shaping your values and aspirations. Be vivid and descriptive, illustrating the profound influence they have had on your personal growth and development.
• Weave in personal reflections throughout your essay. Share introspective thoughts and revelations, highlighting the lessons you have learned and the ways in which your perspective has evolved. By doing so, you invite the reader to embark on a transformative journey alongside you, creating a powerful emotional connection.

To aid you in your writing process, we provide a sample essay about someone who inspires you. It serves as a guiding light, illustrating the structure, tone, and depth needed to craft an outstanding piece. Drawing inspiration from this sample, embrace your unique voice, infuse your essay with passion, and let your words leave an indelible mark on the hearts and minds of the readers.

A Bond Beyond Words: Reflecting on My Relationship with Someone Special

There are moments in life when we cross paths with someone who transforms our world in inexplicable ways. For me, that person is someone special who has walked alongside me, sharing laughter, tears, and countless memories. Our relationship is a testament to the beauty of...

• Someone Who Inspires Me

A Beacon of Inspiration: A Descriptive Peace about the Person I Admire

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My Grandmother as My Role Model: Her Role in Shaping My Identity

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My Role Model and My Heroes: Mother and Father

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Audrey Hepburn: Life Of A Timeless Inspiration Of Mine

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Oprah Winfrey and Ariana Grande: Women That Inspire Me

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Best topics on Someone Who Inspires Me

1. A Bond Beyond Words: Reflecting on My Relationship with Someone Special

2. A Beacon of Inspiration: A Descriptive Peace about the Person I Admire

3. A Person I Will Always Remember: My English Teacher

4. My Grandmother as My Role Model: Her Role in Shaping My Identity

5. My Role Model and My Heroes: Mother and Father

6. Audrey Hepburn: Life Of A Timeless Inspiration Of Mine

7. Oprah Winfrey and Ariana Grande: Women That Inspire Me

8. St. Bernadette: The Woman That Inspires Me

9. Simone De Beauvoir One of the Greatest Woman

10. Ned Kelly: American Hero Or Villain

11. Joan of Arc One of the Most Heroic Women in French History

12. Who Inspired Me to Become a Nurse

13. Mary Kom, The Person Who Inspired Me to Pursue My Dreams

14. The People Who Shaped Me

15. Three People Who Influenced Me Throughout My Life

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• Having a Baby
• Job Interview

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How to Write a College Essay About an Influential Person

• November 2, 2022

When brainstorming topics for your college essay, you’ve probably considered writing about a person who has influenced or inspired you–a parent or grandparent, a sibling, a teacher, or another significant figure in your life. You may be writing an essay of your own design or responding to the fourth prompt on this year’s Common Application: Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

Writing about someone else in a college essay can be tricky—after all, your ultimate goal is still to tell admissions officers enough about you to help them decide whether to offer you admission. But there’s a way to do that even while writing a specific, insightful essay centered on another person. In this post, we’ll walk you through the process of choosing someone to write about, brainstorming, and pulling your ideas together into a finished essay.

Choosing a person to write about

One of our favorite college essays about someone other than the writer is Zoya Garg’s essay about her mother, which was published in the New York Times . Garg writes about her mother’s dreams of a career as a stand-up comedian and how a gift from Garg helped set her on the path to achieving those dreams:

“My mom finds a baffling delight from drinking from glass, hotel-grade water dispensers. Even when three-day-old lemon rinds float in stale water, drinking from the dispenser remains luxurious. Last year for her birthday, I saved enough to buy a water dispenser for our kitchen counter. However, instead of water, I filled it with handwritten notes encouraging her to chase her dreams of a career.”

One of the things that works well about Garg’s essay is how precisely Garg pinpoints the ways her mom has inspired her—Garg mentions her mother’s curiosity, her sense of humor, and her ability to “light up conversations” with and “reach the hearts of” everyone she encounters. If you’re going to write an essay about someone else, choose someone about whom you can identify these kinds of details, rather than someone who has inspired you from afar.

Inspiration doesn’t always have to be positive—perhaps you were inspired by not wanting to be like a particular person in your life. But if you choose to write about someone who inspired you in a more indirect or negative way, be mindful of the tone you’re striking in your essay and the impression it might leave on an admissions officer. Remember that your essay is an opportunity to show the kind of community member you would be if admitted to the school.

Brainstorming your essay

A successful essay about someone who has inspired you will have two key ingredients: examples and reflection. (To learn more on the importance of reflection in the college essay, check out our Complete Your College Essay Online Course .) But unlike a recipe, you don’t have to add these ingredients in any particular order—you can begin by brainstorming either one and still find your way to a powerful finished essay.

If you’d like to start with examples, spend some time thinking about moments when this person inspired or influenced you. Try to pinpoint them as precisely as possible: Did you have a conversation with your father or a driving lesson with your mother that particularly taught you something? Did time spent with an older sibling while on a family vacation show you something about the person you hope to become?

Once you have your list of moments, try writing a sentence or two about what you learned in each instance. For example: Driving with my mother, who always wanted to take the scenic route, reminded me of the importance of patience, something I have long struggled with. 

If you already know what you’ve learned from the person you’re focusing on, you can just as easily do this brainstorm in reverse. Try first writing out the “lessons” you’ve learned. Then, under each one, list as many examples as you can think of that illustrate how this person taught you what you’ve learned from them—the driving lesson, the meaningful conversation, the morning spent surfing, and more. The most evocative examples and moments on the list will be excellent material for your essay.

Beginning to write

You’ve probably spent a lot of time with the most important people in your life. (If you haven’t, that might be an essay in itself!) That can make those people even harder to describe, because we know so much more about them than can fit into a single essay.

As you begin to write, return to some of the questions you asked during the brainstorming process:

• What one illustrative story can you tell about this person?
• What one or two key things have you learned from them, or what one or two things have they inspired you to do?
• Was there a specific experience one of you went through during which they inspired you?

Think back to Zoya Garg’s anecdote of a birthday gift, which tells a much larger story about her relationship with her mother and about Garg’s own ability to understand and support those around her.

Sometimes the easiest way to build this kind of essay is to work backwards. Consider this person’s traits – what does the reader need to know most about the person, and what have you learned from them? Perhaps it’s your mother’s fondness for taking the scenic route, or your sister’s willingness to try new things. Then make a list of experiences, traits, or adjectives that best capture those elements: Is it the way they laugh, how they take charge in difficult situations, how they walk into a room? In Garg’s essay, one telling detail is her mother’s “baffling delight” in drinking out of fancy glass water dispensers, which kicks off the entire story. Those are the perfect kinds of characteristics and small moments to include in your essay.

And remember—it isn’t enough just to describe this inspirational person. You’ll also need to describe how their influence shows up in your life, in big or small ways.

Revising your essay

Once you’ve drafted your essay, and perhaps taken some time away from the draft, look at your essay with fresh eyes . This is a great opportunity to check that your essay is specific and precise in the way you describe the person who inspired you, so that the admissions officers reading your essay will come away feeling like they know that person. Keep in mind that even if you’re writing about an experience of anti-inspiration, or someone who inspired you not to be like them, it’s worth trying to strike a positive tone in your essay.

And finally, remember that your ultimate goal is to give the admissions committee insight into who they might be inviting into their campus community. You want them to feel as though they’ve gotten to know you —no matter who else you introduce them to along the way.

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Recent posts, subscribe here, more expert advice, let's get existential: how to write a college essay about identity.

When you’re a teenager, you’re probably too busy to sit down and think about your own identity. No one exactly assigns you “introspection time” as homework (though, if you’re my student, this has very likely happened). So when you start working on your college essays, it might be the first time you truly start thinking about how you can express who you are in a way that will help a group of strangers understand something about you. Let’s be honest—it feels like a lot of pressure to sum up your identity in 250 words or less. But we’re here to help.

There are many different types of application essays you’ll need to write, as my colleague Annie so perfectly laid out here . But we’re going to talk about one type in particular: the essays about identity and diversity. These are powerful college essays that give admissions officers an opportunity to glimpse into your daily life and understand your unique experiences. For some students, though, these essays can be daunting to think about and write.  

Ever wonder why colleges are asking these questions? Well, the simple answer is that they want to get to know you more. Aside from your academic interests, your activities, and your accomplishments in the classroom, there really isn’t that much space to talk about things like your ethnic background, religion, gender identity, or local community. And these are things colleges want to know about you, too!

How Do You Write a Good Identity and Diversity Essay?

Before you start writing, let’s define a few terms you might run into while drafting your college essays about identity and diversity.

Who are you? I know what you’re thinking—it’s way too early in the morning to get this existential. I hear you. But let’s break this down. Identity is made up of many qualities: personality, culture, ethnic or racial background, sexual orientation, gender, physical ability, and linguistic background, among others. Maybe you identify really strongly with the religion on Mom’s side of the family, but not Dad’s. Maybe you speak a language not typical of folks from your culture. Maybe you have recently come into your gender identity and finally feel like yourself. Why is that identity important to the way you define who you are? Think of it like this: If you’ve met someone new, and your goal is to help them get to know you in the shortest amount of time possible, how would you be able to accomplish this? What’s your tagline? That’s how you’ll want to tackle this type of college essay.

Diversity  

One individual person can’t be diverse. But when a college is referring to diversity, they’re usually looking to their student body and asking how you, as an individual with your own identity, can add to their diversity. What experiences have you had in your life that might help you make the student body more diverse? Have you dealt with dyslexia and come to terms with how best to learn, keeping your abilities in mind? If so, how can you contribute to other students who might learn differently? Did you grow up as the oldest of 10 siblings and have to take care of them on a daily basis? What kind of responsibilities did you have and how did that influence you? These don’t need to be visible qualities. The goal of the diversity college essay is to understand how these identifying factors can help you contribute to a school in a way they haven’t seen before.  

Let’s define community. You may associate it with the city or neighborhood you live in. But a community doesn’t have to be geographical. It doesn’t even have to be formal. Community can come from that sense of connection you have with like-minded people. It can be built with people you’ve shared experiences with. So, when we think of community in this sense, we could be thinking about the community that exists within your apartment complex. We could be thinking about the youth group at your mosque. We could be thinking about your little group of artists within your science and tech magnet school. Think about what communities you are a part of, and be prepared to talk about your place within them.

You might think that these questions are only being asked by small liberal arts schools—but that’s not true. Bigger schools and colleges also want to get to know all of the thousands of students they’re bringing to campus as part of their class.

Big Name Colleges that Care About Diversity

To give you a glimpse of the variety, here are a few examples of college essays where these identity and diversity may come into play:

University of Michigan

“Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.”

University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill

“Expand on an aspect of your identity (for example, your religion, culture, race, sexual or gender identity, affinity group, etc.). How has this aspect of your identity shaped your life experiences thus far?”

Pomona College

“Tell us about an experience when you dealt with disagreement or conflict around different perspectives within a community.”

Sarah Lawrence College

“Sarah Lawrence College's community places strong value in inclusion and diversity. In 250-500 words, tell us about what you value in a community and how your perspective, lived experiences, or beliefs might contribute to your College community.”

Remember what these colleges are trying to understand: who you are and what has influenced you to become the person you are today (identity), where you come from (community), and how you might be able to add to the diversity of their college campus. Once you really get to the core and understand the intent of these types of college essays, you’ll absolutely be able to write in an earnest and genuine way. We say this frequently at Collegewise, but it’s worth repeating here, especially when it comes to essays about identity and diversity. Just be yourself.

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• August 1, 2020

How to Write an Essay About Someone

Pierre is a leading college and graduate admissions consultant with extensive experience in education and entrepreneurship. His advice has been featured on Forbes.com, U.S. News, CNN Business, the Washington Post, ABC News, Business Insider, and more.

As you probably already know, the point of your college application is to give admissions committees a solid sense of who you are. You’ve written a highly personal college essay, and probably some supplementals on your intellectual and extracurricular activities and your leadership experience. Maybe on your intended major and career plans as well.

But many colleges also give you the opportunity to write about other people. This year, Princeton proposes the following prompt:

“Tell us about a person who has influenced you in a significant way.”

Many other colleges ask similar questions. Some ask you to talk specifically about your peers, your family, etc.

Should you talk about a role model, a peer, a family member?

As always, you want to be strategic about selecting prompts when you’re given a selection from which to choose. If you’re applying to Princeton, take a look at the three other prompts available (you’re asked to choose one). They concern: “great challenges facing our world”; the value of culture; and a favorite quote, which you’re asked to elaborate on and relate to a value you’ve learned.

Elaborating on a quote is pretty open-ended, and could be a good choice—but be very careful when it comes to the quote. You’re going to want to have something truly interesting at the ready. Avoid anything predictable: “To be or not to be,” for example, is not a promising opening to an essay that is supposed to show your uniqueness. The culture question is essentially a “community” essay. You may want to choose this prompt if you have a unique cultural background that will help differentiate you from other applicants. I would absolutely recommend against tackling any of the “great challenges facing our world.” I personally can’t understand how high school seniors are supposed to write about major issues like this in a meaningful, personal way. If you truly believe you have something important to say, resist the temptation of trying to solve huge problems like climate change, the wage gap, the patriarchy etc. (The prompt doesn’t ask you for a solution.) Just speak from and about your own experience.

The “influence” essay may be the best choice for you here and elsewhere: often, writing an essay on someone else provides the chance for you to show something about yourself that is not already apparent in your application.

How to write the essay

Tell a story. Do not rattle off a series of general statements. (This, in my experience, is the most common mistake students make in their essays.) Before you begin worrying about whom you should write your essay on (I’ll get to that), ask yourself: what story can I tell?

For Princeton, the “influence” essay is hefty: you’ve got a word-limit of 650. You should approach it the same way you approached your college essay. Length will depend on where you’re applying, but the “role model” essay should tell a very personal story.

This essay is not about you—it’s about your role model. But it needs to say something meaningful about who you are. Your essay should describe the person who influences you, but it should tell a story only you can tell.

Great “role model” essays discuss people who have influenced you, challenged you, aggravated you in meaningful ways. Avoid morals: “And so, my friend, Jimmy, taught me the virtue of honesty, and I am a better person thanks to his influence;” “In conclusion, although I struggled initially to accept Allison’s criticism, in the end I took it to heart and became a better person as a result.” Resist the temptation to explain how this is all ultimately about you and how great you are. Tell a story about someone who is, or did something truly meaningful to you, who has changed how you think and act. You can say a lot about who you are through your choice of subject.

Whom should you write about?

Telling a great story is more important than choosing “the right” person to write about. Certain questions will restrict your choice (will ask you to write about a peer, a family member, etc.).

No topic (or, in this case, person) is ever truly off-limits, but I would avoid choosing a family member if possible. The reason is that most high school students (and I speak from my own experience of being seventeen) have a hard time regarding their parents and siblings with any real objectivity. Family member essays are often either angry rants or over-the-top panegyrics.

Famous people are also generally a poor choice. If you’re writing about someone you’ve never met, the chances are slim that your essay will turn out to be very personal, especially since folks like Oprah Winfrey, Pope Francis, and Lebron James are already role models for millions of people. On the other hand, if Ariana Grande was your babysitter (improbable scenario, I know), you may have a hard time talking about it without sounding like you’re simply bragging about the connection.

If you’re going to talk about a peer, I’d avoid relating an anecdote about a teammate during a sports game. The fact is that everyone who plays sports (and a lot of people do in high school) has meaningful connections with others on the field. The sports essay almost never comes across as particularly original or individual.

So who’s left? Peers off the sports field, for sure. Your rabbi, your cello teacher, that adult in your life who’s something of a parental figure, your boss at the gas station, the list goes on. Your choice should depend on the kind of story you think you can tell.

#collegeessays #collegeapplication #collegeadmission

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The Diversity Essay: How to Write an Excellent Diversity Essay

What is a diversity essay in a school application? And why does it matter when applying to leading programs and universities? Most importantly, how should you go about writing such an essay?

Diversity is of supreme value in higher education, and schools want to know how every student will contribute to the diversity on their campus. A diversity essay gives applicants with disadvantaged or underrepresented backgrounds, an unusual education, a distinctive experience, or a unique family history an opportunity to write about how these elements of their background have prepared them to play a useful role in increasing and encouraging diversity among their target program’s student body and broader community.

The purpose of all application essays is to help the adcom better understand who an applicant is and what they care about. Your essays are your chance to share your voice and humanize your application. This is especially true for the diversity essay, which aims to reveal your unique perspectives and experiences, as well as the ways in which you might contribute to a college community.

In this post, we’ll discuss what exactly a diversity essay is, look at examples of actual prompts and a sample essay, and offer tips for writing a standout essay. 

In this post, you’ll find the following: 

What a diversity essay covers

How to show you can add to a school’s diversity, why diversity matters to schools.

• Seven examples that reveal diversity

Sample diversity essay prompts

How to write about your diversity.

• A diversity essay example

Upon hearing the word “diversity” in relation to an application essay, many people assume that they will have to write about gender, sexuality, class, or race. To many, this can feel overly personal or irrelevant, and some students might worry that their identity isn’t unique or interesting enough. In reality, the diversity essay is much broader than many people realize.

Identity means different things to different people. The important thing is that you demonstrate your uniqueness and what matters to you. In addition to writing about one of the traditional identity features we just mentioned (gender, sexuality, class, race), you could consider writing about a more unusual feature of yourself or your life – or even the intersection of two or more identities.

Consider these questions as you think about what to include in your diversity essay:

• Do you have a unique or unusual talent or skill?
• Do you have beliefs or values that are markedly different from those of the people around you? 
• Do you have a hobby or interest that sets you apart from your peers? 
• Have you done or experienced something that few people have? Note that if you choose to write about a single event as a diverse identity feature, that event needs to have had a pretty substantial impact on you and your life. For example, perhaps you’re part of the 0.2% of the world’s population that has run a marathon, or you’ve had the chance to watch wolves hunt in the wild.
• Do you have a role in life that gives you a special outlook on the world? For example, maybe one of your siblings has a rare disability, or you grew up in a town with fewer than 500 inhabitants.

If you are an immigrant to the United States, the child of immigrants, or someone whose ethnicity is underrepresented in the States, your response to “How will you add to the diversity of our class/community?” and similar questions might help your application efforts. Why? Because you have the opportunity to show the adcom how your background will contribute a distinctive perspective to the program you are applying to.

Of course, if you’re not underrepresented in your field or part of a disadvantaged group, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have anything to write about in a diversity essay.

For example, you might have an unusual or special experience to share, such as serving in the military, being a member of a dance troupe, or caring for a disabled relative. These and other distinctive experiences can convey how you will contribute to the diversity of the school’s campus.

Maybe you are the first member of your family to apply to college or the first person in your household to learn English. Perhaps you have worked your way through college or helped raise your siblings. You might also have been an ally to those who are underrepresented, disadvantaged, or marginalized in your community, at your school, or in a work setting. 

As you can see, diversity is not limited to one’s religion, ethnicity, culture, language, or sexual orientation. It refers to whatever element of your identity distinguishes you from others and shows that you, too, value diversity.

The diversity essay provides colleges the chance to build a student body that includes different ethnicities, religions, sexual orientations, backgrounds, interests, and so on. Applicants are asked to illuminate what sets them apart so that the adcoms can see what kind of diverse views and opinions they can bring to the campus.

Admissions officers believe that diversity in the classroom improves the educational experience of all the students involved. They also believe that having a diverse workforce better serves society as a whole.

The more diverse perspectives found in the classroom, throughout the dorms, in the dining halls, and mixed into study groups, the richer people’s discussions will be.

Plus, learning and growing in this kind of multicultural environment will prepare students for working in our increasingly multicultural and global world.

In medicine, for example, a heterogeneous workforce benefits people from previously underrepresented cultures. Businesses realize that they will market more effectively if they can speak to different audiences, which is possible when members of their workforce come from various backgrounds and cultures. Schools simply want to prepare graduates for the 21st century job market.

Seven examples that reveal diversity

Adcoms want to know about the diverse elements of your character and how these have helped you develop particular  personality traits , as well as about any unusual experiences that have shaped you.

Here are seven examples an applicant could write about:

1. They grew up in an environment with a strong emphasis on respecting their elders, attending family events, and/or learning their parents’ native language and culture.

2. They are close to their grandparents and extended family members who have taught them how teamwork can help everyone thrive.

3. They have had to face difficulties that stem from their parents’ values being in conflict with theirs or those of their peers.

4. Teachers have not always understood the elements of their culture or lifestyle and how those elements influence their performance.

5. They have suffered discrimination and succeeded despite it because of their grit, values, and character.

6. They learned skills from a lifestyle that is outside the norm (e.g., living in foreign countries as the child of a diplomat or contractor; performing professionally in theater, dance, music, or sports; having a deaf sibling).

7. They’ve encountered racism or other prejudice (either toward themselves or others) and responded by actively promoting diverse, tolerant values.

And remember, diversity is not about who your parents are.  It’s about who you are  – at the core.

Your background, influences, religious observances, native language, ideas, work environment, community experiences – all these factors come together to create a unique individual, one who will contribute to a varied class of distinct individuals taking their place in a diverse world.

The best-known diversity essay prompt is from the  Common App . It states:

“Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

Some schools have individual diversity essay prompts. For example, this one is from  Duke University :

“We believe a wide range of personal perspectives, beliefs, and lived experiences are essential to making Duke a vibrant and meaningful living and learning community. Feel free to share with us anything in this context that might help us better understand you and what you might bring to our community.” 

And the  Rice University application includes the following prompt:

“Rice is strengthened by its diverse community of learning and discovery that produces leaders and change agents across the spectrum of human endeavor. What perspectives shaped by your background, experiences, upbringing, and/or racial identity inspire you to join our community of change agents at Rice?”

In all instances, colleges want you to demonstrate how and what you’ll contribute to their communities.

Your answer to a school’s diversity essay question should focus on how your experiences have built your empathy for others, your embrace of differences, your resilience, your character, and your perspective.

The school might ask how you think of diversity or how you will bring or add to the diversity of the school, your chosen profession, or your community. Make sure you answer the specific question posed by highlighting distinctive elements of your profile that will add to the class mosaic every adcom is trying to create. You don’t want to blend in; you want to stand out in a positive way while also complementing the school’s canvas.

Here’s a simple, three-part framework that will help you think of diversity more broadly:

Who are you? What has contributed to your identity? How do you distinguish yourself? Your identity can include any of the following: gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, disability, religion, nontraditional work experience, nontraditional educational background, multicultural background, and family’s educational level.

What have you done? What have you accomplished? This could include any of the following: achievements inside and/or outside your field of study, leadership opportunities, community service, internship or professional experience, research opportunities, hobbies, and travel. Any or all of these could be unique. Also, what life-derailing, throw-you-for-a-loop challenges have you faced and overcome?

How do you think? How do you approach things? What drives you? What influences you? Are you the person who can break up a tense meeting with some well-timed humor? Are you the one who intuitively sees how to bring people together? 

Read more about this three-part framework in Episode 193 of Accepted’s Admissions Straight Talk podcast or listen wherever you get your favorite podcast s.

Think about each question within this framework and how you could apply your diversity elements to your target school’s classroom or community. Any of these elements can serve as the framework for your essay.

Don’t worry if you can’t think of something totally “out there.” You don’t need to be a tightrope walker living in the Andes or a Buddhist monk from Japan to be able to contribute to a school’s diversity!

And please remember, the examples we have offered here are not exhaustive. There are many other ways to show diversity!

All you need to do to be able to write successfully about how you will contribute to the diversity of your target school’s community is examine your identity, deeds, and ideas, with an eye toward your personal distinctiveness and individuality. There is only one  you .

Take a look at the sample diversity essay in the next section of this post, and pay attention to how the writer underscores their appreciation for, and experience with, diversity. 

A diversity essay sample

When I was starting 11th grade, my dad, an agricultural scientist, was assigned to a 3-month research project in a farm village in Niigata (northwest Honshu in Japan). Rather than stay behind with my mom and siblings, I begged to go with him. As a straight-A student, I convinced my parents and the principal that I could handle my schoolwork remotely (pre-COVID) for that stretch. It was time to leap beyond my comfortable suburban Wisconsin life—and my Western orientation, reinforced by travel to Europe the year before. 

We roomed in a sprawling farmhouse with a family participating in my dad’s study. I thought I’d experience an “English-free zone,” but the high school students all studied and wanted to practice English, so I did meet peers even though I didn’t attend their school. Of the many eye-opening, influential, cultural experiences, the one that resonates most powerfully to me is experiencing their community. It was a living, organic whole. Elementary school kids spent time helping with the rice harvest. People who foraged for seasonal wild edibles gave them to acquaintances throughout the town. In fact, there was a constant sharing of food among residents—garden veggies carried in straw baskets, fish or meat in coolers. The pharmacist would drive prescriptions to people who couldn’t easily get out—new mothers, the elderly—not as a business service but as a good neighbor. If rain suddenly threatened, neighbors would bring in each other’s drying laundry. When an empty-nest 50-year-old woman had to be hospitalized suddenly for a near-fatal snakebite, neighbors maintained her veggie patch until she returned. The community embodied constant awareness of others’ needs and circumstances. The community flowed!

Yet, people there lamented that this lifestyle was vanishing; more young people left than stayed or came. And it wasn’t idyllic: I heard about ubiquitous gossip, long-standing personal enmities, busybody-ness. But these very human foibles didn’t dam the flow. This dynamic community organism couldn’t have been more different from my suburban life back home, with its insular nuclear families. We nod hello to neighbors in passing. 

This wonderful experience contained a personal challenge. Blond and blue-eyed, I became “the other” for the first time. Except for my dad, I saw no Westerner there. Curious eyes followed me. Stepping into a market or walking down the street, I drew gazes. People swiftly looked away if they accidentally caught my eye. It was not at all hostile, I knew, but I felt like an object. I began making extra sure to appear “presentable” before going outside. The sense of being watched sometimes generated mild stress or resentment. Returning to my lovely tatami room, I would decompress, grateful to be alone. I realized this challenge was a minute fraction of what others experience in my own country. The toll that feeling—and being— “other” takes on non-white and visibly different people in the US can be extremely painful. Experiencing it firsthand, albeit briefly, benignly, and in relative comfort, I got it.

Unlike the organic Niigata community, work teams, and the workplace itself, have externally driven purposes. Within this different environment, I will strive to exemplify the ongoing mutual awareness that fueled the community life in Niigata. Does it benefit the bottom line, improve the results? I don’t know. But it helps me be the mature, engaged person I want to be, and to appreciate the individuals who are my colleagues and who comprise my professional community. I am now far more conscious of people feeling their “otherness”—even when it’s not in response to negative treatment, it can arise simply from awareness of being in some way different.

What did you think of this essay? Does this middle class Midwesterner have the unique experience of being different from the surrounding majority, something she had not experienced in the United States? Did she encounter diversity from the perspective of “the other”? 

Here a few things to note about why this diversity essay works so well:

1. The writer comes from “a comfortable, suburban, Wisconsin life,” suggesting that her background might not be ethnically, racially, or in any other way diverse.

2. The diversity “points” scored all come from her fascinating experience of having lived in a Japanese farm village, where she immersed herself in a totally different culture.

3. The lessons learned about the meaning of community are what broaden and deepen the writer’s perspective about life, about a purpose-driven life, and about the concept of “otherness.” 

By writing about a time when you experienced diversity in one of its many forms, you can write a memorable and meaningful diversity essay.

Working on your diversity essay?

Want to ensure that your application demonstrates the diversity that your dream school is seeking?  Work with one of our admissions experts . This checklist includes more than 30 different ways to think about diversity to jump-start your creative engine.

Dr. Sundas Ali has more than 15 years of experience teaching and advising students, providing career and admissions advice, reviewing applications, and conducting interviews for the University of Oxford’s undergraduate and graduate programs. In addition, Sundas has worked with students from a wide range of countries, including the United Kingdom, the United States, India, Pakistan, China, Japan, and the Middle East. Want Sundas to help you get Accepted? Click here to get in touch! 

Related Resources:

• Different Dimensions of Diversity , podcast Episode 193
• What Should You Do If You Belong to an Overrepresented MBA Applicant Group?
• Fitting In & Standing Out: The Paradox at the Heart of Admissions , a free guide

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An Essay about Someone Who Has Made an Impact on Your Life

Who has made a significant impact in your life and why? Essay on the topic might be challenging to write. One is usually asked to write such a text as a college admission essay.

A topic for this paper can be of your choice or pre-established by the institution. Either way, you may have to describe a person who influenced your life.

Here, we’ll tell you how to write about someone who had a huge impact on your life:

• Learn story-telling techniques.
• Choose the right person that affected you significantly.
• Describe the representative situation in an engaging way.
• Focus on yourself and the meaning of your journey.

However, it may not be enough to write about someone who had a great impact on your life. You should know some other peculiarities which we are going to discuss right now. Don’t forget that you can always find help here with any academic task.

📃 Writing about a Person Who Influenced You

Writing your essay about someone who has made an impact on your life starts with learning a few techniques. One of the main things you should know is that you will have to create a captivating story. Thus, you should know how to write personal narrative essays , some basic rules of story-telling.

Here is what you should keep in mind:

• Tell a story. A great way to engage your audience is to say something in the form of a story. Human brain processes information better that way. With words and sensory details, you can create a mental image of the person you are describing.
• Be personal. It can resemble composing an autobiography or memoir as you have to talk about your actual experience. There is nothing more moving than an individual story, so do not be afraid to open up in the reflective essay. Talk about the change you’ve experienced after meeting the person that influenced you.
• Don’t be predictable. A good story needs some level of suspense. There are many ways in which it can be done. You can try to tell the story chronologically or go back in time and include flashbacks. Try to surprise your readers with an intriguing essay title.
• Create a three-dimensional character. The focus of the story is not the sequence of events. It’s the character. Provide enough details and explain to the reader what makes that unusual.
• Show instead of telling. It’s a core idea of good story-telling. By doing that, you invite the readers to the scene. For starters, try using dialogue instead of narration.
• End on a positive note. Even if you had to face challenges, tell about a positive influence in your life. The biggest impact might be harmful, but it helped you grow nonetheless. Help the readers to see a piece of wisdom or a lesson you have learned.

Besides, we have listed some quick hints. With them, you’ll complete your essay on someone who has made a significant impact on your life and why successfully:

• Someone’s impact that you can describe may be either positive or negative. A vast majority of essays written about influential persons speak positively about them. However, do not try to overidealize. It’s fair to talk about negative as much as about positive. A person that influenced you does not have to be likable or perfect. It is enough to recognize the positive qualities that made an impact on you. It will help the commission to see you as a thinking and just person.
• Be as specific as possible. Describe a particular incident that explains this person’s impact on you. You have to describe the qualities of the person through the actual events that took place and the overall environment. However, remember that the story is also about you and how the person influenced you. Be specific about your growth and journey. The essay is the best way to demonstrate your thoughts and personality.
• The main character of your essay might be someone you do not know personally. Stay truthful and honest to yourself. If someone who has made an impact on your life is a person you have never met, write about it. You could talk about your grandparent whose story you’ve heard or an author of your favorite book. Describe how a person that you’ve met on social media and the friendship with them changed you.

Whoever it is that inspired you, remember that the essay is also about you. It is not the best practice to talk about celebrities, though. You might appear as a fan and not as a thinker.

🎯 College Application Essay

Why are you writing paragraph after paragraph about the person who has made an impact on your life? If this essay is for some contest or is a part of the college application package, be careful.

We’ve gathered some tips on writing an application essay:

• Construct a story. Every story should have a good beginning, a middle, and an end. The first paragraph should serve as an introduction to your information. At the same time, leave the last section for the conclusion. The middle part is where you describe the events in your account.
• Outline it. To make every paragraph count, you should create an outline. It will help you to understand what you want to say in each particular moment in your story. As well as stay on track and coherently describe the incident in your essay.
• Provide examples. They can help you prove your point and demonstrate your role model’s qualities. Instead of saying my father is a generous person, you can find an example in which he showed generosity. These parts should always lead back to you. The goal here is to show how their good conduct influenced your life decisions.
• Be honest. Staying true to who you are is essential. Read successful college essay examples if you’re not sure about it. After all, the paper is not about the role model, but it is about the influence. Try to write something that will be creative and unique. Honesty is the key to reach your reader’s heart.
• Ask someone to read it. Once you finish, ask a friend or a relative for their honest feedback. They can evaluate the content, the grammar, the readability, and the style. An independent reader can help you to improve all of these points.
• Don’t include the prompt. Remember that the admissions committee will receive hundreds of essays on this subject. Do not repeat standard templates and writing prompts. Your goal is to stand out from the crowd, and the only way to do it is by writing something meaningful and personal.

Most importantly:

You will have a particular word limit. It means you need to be very precise and clear when writing your essay on the person who has had the greatest impact on your life. You should be able to express the main idea and explain the effects in 200 or even fewer words.

Tips on how to prepare “remembering a person” essays can also be useful for your task. Look up successful someone who has impacted your life essay examples as well.

Who Has Made a Significant Impact in Your Life & Why: Essay Example

Every person has a unique character that is formed under the impact of various factors. These include the environment, social status, financial status, and many other elements that play a vital role in the life of any individual. However, being social creatures, people are most of all impacted by other people as they since the first minutes of their lives, up to the last ones, they live in society and interact with its representatives.

People Who Influenced You: Essay Topics

• Teacher’s influence on my personality .
• Discuss how your teacher’s attitude influenced your desire to study.
• Describe a teacher who had a negative impact on your zeal to learn the subject.
• How the example of Henri Cartier-Bresson influenced my desire to become a photographer.
• Parental influence on my life outcomes .
• Explain how a conversation with happy spouses changed your views on marriage.
• How James Brown influenced my dancing style.
• Effect of an online friend on my life.
• Analyze how the example and behavior of your parents influenced your character.
• School bullies and their impact on my life.
• Discuss the impact Disney cartoon characters had on your perception of gender roles.
• Narrate how Maria Montessori work impacted your desire to become a teacher.
• Describe how your vegetarian friend influenced you to change your eating habits .
• Examine the role of your coach in your decision to take up football.
• Role of influencers in American society .
• How your Italian relatives impacted your view on family and your cultural values.
• Discuss the way Aristotle’s understanding of ethics influences your ethical values.
• Analyze the impact if your father’s beliefs on your career choice .
• How meeting my best friend affected my life.
• Teacher’s impact on my choice of career .
• Why I think George Washington is a true hero : the impact of his personality on my life.
• Describe how life and example of Florence Nightingale inspired you to become a nurse.
• A fictional character that influenced my worldview.
• My mother’s influence on my ideals of beauty .
• Hayao Miyazaki and his influence on me .
• How my uncle helped me to overcome my fear of riding a bicycle .
• Write about a celebrity you consider a role model .
• Why Steve Jobs’ story inspires me.
• Discuss how your physical education teacher motivated you to take up a healthy lifestyle.
• Describe the way Jane Austen influenced your love for reading.
• Teacher’s impact on my personal life .
• Analyze how the example of Greta Tunberg inspired you to become an environmental activist.
• My friend helped me to overcome my fear and it changed my life.
• Influence of Martin Luther King on my beliefs.
• Why Roberto Clemente is my hero.
• How superheroes affect modern society.
• Examine how your favorite K-pop group influenced your personal style.
• The role of my grandparents in building up my identity .
• Impact of my parents on my self-confidence.
• Explain how your mother’s example influenced your desire to enter a college.
• The way Mother Theresa’s life and example changed my worldview.
• A person who inspired my interest in Indian art .
• Jay-Z’s biography and influence on me .
• The role of my family in my decision to lead a healthy lifestyle .
• Discuss how Jane Addams legacy influenced your resolution to become a social worker.
• Why Helen Keller is a person I would like to resemble.
• Analyze the role of Edgar Allan Poe in shaping your literature taste.
• How the activities of Eleanor Roosevelt motivate me and a lot of other Americans.
• Abraham Lincoln and his impact on my life .
• Impact of my coach on my professional development and success.

Thank you for reading the article. We hope you found it helpful. Don’t hesitate to share it with your friends and peers. Leave your comments below, and good luck with your college admission essay!

You might also be interested in:

• School Days Essay: How to Describe a Memorable Event
• Growing Up Essay: Great Ideas for Your College Assignment
• Childhood Memories Essay: Brilliant Writing Ideas
• Excellent Remembering a Person Essay: Free Writing Guidelines
• Life Experience Essay: How to Write a Brilliant Paper
• Tips for an Admissions Essay on an Influential Person: Allen Grove, ThoughtCo
• 7 Storytelling Techniques Used by the Most Inspiring TED Presenters: Nayomi Chibana, Visme
• Someone Who Impacted My Life Essay: Bartleby
• Application Essay: The Writing Center, the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
• Essays That Worked: Undergraduate Admissions, Johns Hopkins University
• The Only Four College Essay Writing Tips You’ll Ever Need: Inside Admissions, Tufts Admissions
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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Hero — Influential Person

Essays About Influential Person

What makes a good influential person essay topics.

When it comes to writing an influential person essay, the topic you choose can make all the difference. A good essay topic should be thought-provoking, engaging, and unique. It should also be something that allows you to showcase your writing skills and express your thoughts and feelings. So, What Makes a Good influential person essay topic? Let's take a look at some recommendations.

When brainstorming and choosing an essay topic, it's important to consider your personal connection to the influential person. Think about someone who has had a significant impact on your life, whether it's a family member, teacher, mentor, or public figure. Consider what qualities or actions make this person influential to you and how they have shaped your beliefs or values.

Additionally, think about the impact that the influential person has had on others or society as a whole. Is there a specific event or accomplishment that sets this person apart and makes them worthy of admiration? Consider the broader implications of their influence and how it has shaped the world around them.

A good essay topic should also be something that allows you to delve into the complexities of the influential person's character and the impact they have had. It should provide ample opportunity for reflection and insight, allowing you to explore the nuances of their influence and the lessons they have imparted.

In , a good influential person essay topic should be personal, impactful, and thought-provoking. It should allow you to showcase your writing skills and express your unique perspective on the person's influence.

Best Influential Person Essay Topics

• The unsung hero: A tribute to the person who quietly impacts lives without seeking recognition.
• Overcoming adversity: How a mentor or role model has inspired you to overcome challenges.
• The power of empathy: Exploring the influence of a compassionate and understanding individual.
• Breaking barriers: The impact of a trailblazer who has shattered stereotypes and paved the way for others.
• A legacy of leadership: Examining the leadership qualities of an influential figure and their lasting impact.

Influential Person essay topics Prompts

• If you could have a conversation with an influential person, living or deceased, who would it be and why?
• Reflect on a specific moment or event that illustrates the influence of an important person in your life.
• How has an influential person's impact on your life shaped your values and beliefs?
• Explore the lessons and wisdom imparted by an influential person and how they have influenced your personal growth.
• If you could embody the qualities of an influential person, who would you choose and why?

Who is The Most Influential Person in Your Life

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How to Start a College Essay: 5 Effective Techniques

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Impressionable Openers

Descriptions and demonstrations, show vulnerability, be authentic, stay personal, fun & quirky, common mistakes to avoid in your college essay.

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Frequently Asked Questions About Starting a College Essay

College essays are a huge part of your college career. If not huge, one of the biggest, and for someone who has been there and done that, I know the amount of pressure the beginning of a college essay, as well as the entire essay, can put on your shoulders.

Not only are you trying to juggle things like word count and grammar errors, but you're also trying to create the perfect college essay introduction that will attract admissions officers to your application or professors to your writing skills. And that, itself, can feel impossible, fill you with dread and self-doubt, but just breathe. I am here to help all present and future students know how to start a college essay.

Today is all about starting a college essay. I have come up with five easy and effective techniques that will help you create essays so good you're going to leave your readers wanting more , starting with your opening sentence! So, this is for all college students and college applicants. Stress no more! This guide was created to help you write a successful college essay. Let's get into it.

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The beginning of your essay should, first and foremost, always have a strong opening sentence . This sentence sets the tone for not only your readers but for the entire essay. Having a wobbly, almost interesting opener can steer an admissions officer and/or professor away, so you want it to be strong. And it doesn't have to be complicated! Less is more in this situation. Here are a couple of ways you can accomplish this.

• Look within and be relatable
• Use your real life for inspiration
• Think about ways to evoke emotion

Here are some examples of impressionable openers:

• Example 1: When I was 11 years old, my mother told me she had cancer over breakfast.
• Example 2: Maybe yellow isn't my favorite color.
• Example 3: I sat next to this girl in class who made me feel stupid.

DISCLAIMER : your opener should ALWAYS adhere to the essay prompts. These are just a few examples that can capture your reader's attention almost immediately.

In order to keep readers interested, visuals are key . Image-based descriptions will not only add value to your writing, it will give your readers front seats to your essay's journey. These descriptions let actions speak for themselves.

Here is an example of a description and demonstration in an essay:

• Example 1: "I was sitting on a bar stool when the word 'cancer' hit me like the smell of her coffee brewing on the stove. The Rice Krispies were popping in my cereal bowl, and MTV Jams was playing in the background, yet all I could hear was the sound of doom all around me. The lips of my mother were moving, but I was frozen, crumbling on this stool like my mother's health. She was sick, and I didn't know how sick or what that even meant, and that terrified me."

Why This Works:

Here you can clearly feel the writers emotional state: shocked, still, scared. Not only is this moment at breakfast traumatic, you feel frozen in time with the writer. Using descriptions like this will evoke so much emotion and leave your reader wanting more.

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Something one of my teachers told me in high school was any good essay will have personal elements in it, no matter the topic. That always stuck with me and became the way I approached my college essays. Showing vulnerability in your writing will always guarantee interest. It also evokes emotion.

You can show vulnerability by:

• Being honest
• Explaining what's going on inside underneath the exterior
• Describe what's going on around you at the moment
• Letting go of the fear of being seen
• Connecting with the topic
• Being transparent about mistakes/flaws

Examples of showing vulnerability:

• Example 1 : My mother telling me she had cancer over breakfast was not on my bingo card this year.
• Example 2 : I never thought losing someone I love would change me.
• Example 3: I had to lose everything in order to gain everything.

I know being vulnerable can be tough for some , but showing this side of you to college admissions officers and/or professors will not only make you stand out, but it can also help free you of things that might be weighing on your mind. Not to sound corny, but it can be therapeutic and make you a better writer . Just make sure you are staying on track with the essay prompt, and you're set!

Whether it's believed or not, an admissions officer wants to see pieces of you in your personal statement, so starting your essay by showing authenticity is a major major key. Along with being vulnerable, there are a few ways you can achieve this.

• Reflect : Take the time to reflect on your experiences, values, and beliefs that have shaped who you are today. Let your values, passions, and interests shine through in your writing.
• Mind Your Voice : Write in your own voice and avoid trying to sound like someone you're not. Authenticity comes from being genuine and true to yourself.
• Tell Your Story : Share personal anecdotes and insights that show your unique perspective.
• Be True to You : Focus on what matters to YOU (as long as you're on topic!). Write about what is meaningful and important to you rather than what you think admissions officers want to hear.

Above all, be open . Showing introspection and self-awareness in your essay will show any admissions committee who you are beneath the surface, as well as your personal growth.

You can also begin your essay being as random and silly as you'd like . It goes hand-in-hand with other important factors like vulnerability and authenticity. But don't get too crazy . Beginning your essay with something strange will definitely draw readers in. Let me show you what I mean.

• Example 1 : I start my mornings off in silence and solitude to keep people away from me.
• Example 2 : Sometimes, I like to circle big words in complex articles to learn new words. Yeah, but to also keep one in my back pocket for later use.
• Example 3 : Being the youngest child means getting away with everything you want, and that's exactly how I like it.

Do you see how each sentence draws you in? Not only are they light-hearted, but they also make you want to know why you want to keep people away in the morning and what kind of weapon you're forming against others with new words. And every youngest sibling will attest to feeling that exact same way. All of these examples are sure to make your essay fun, show who you are, and leave readers wanting more.

Years of writing college essays have taken me through every high and low of the process possible. And when they're good, they're great! But for some reason, my mistakes stick out more than anything. So, I've compiled a list of common mistakes to avoid when writing your college essay .

• Avoid Being Cliche - While you want to be captivating, you want to avoid overly used syntax and phrases that could potentially lose your reader's curiosity. For example, "in today's day and age," "follow my heart," "don't judge a book by its cover," etc. are all cliches that can be avoided by thinking outside of the box.
• Using Vocabulary to be Impressive - I know you want to impress the admissions committees, but it's important to stick to what you know and not what you can allude to. That is, use verbiage that resonates with your personality. Using extravagant words can work against you, and they can also sound forced. College admissions officers want to see the real you, so show it to them.
• Steer Clear of Controversy - Though it's not said enough, your college essay should tell your personal story and not touch on things that can stir the pot. For instance, talking about politics and religious beliefs may not be the route you want to take UNLESS it's called for in the college essay topic. And if so, stay on track with the essay prompts.
• Procrastinating : Waiting until the last minute to start writing your essay will bite you in the butt. You will feel rushed and end up writing a poorly crafted piece. Give yourself enough time to complete an essay draft, edit the draft, and repeat this two-step cycle until your essay is complete.
• Lack of originality : This goes hand-in-hand with avoiding cliches. Your college essay should exude a lot of your personality, so show admissions officers and teachers who you are! Include your cultural background, test scores that you're proud of, any future aspirations, etc. This all depends on the essay prompts, of course, but in my experience, every essay topic has room to show who you are.
• Ignoring the prompt : This is a major key. STAY ON TRACK. Make sure to carefully read and understand the essay prompt, and write your essay accordingly. The last thing you want to do is write a college essay that has nothing to do with the prompt. Reading is essential here.
• Lack of focus : If you want to know how to start a college essay, that means knowing how to stay focused. Find a quiet space, turn off electronics, hide your phone, and really nestle into how you want to capture your reader's attention. This will help you use your five senses clearly, keep your writing strong and not write an overly wordy essay. Focus is the tool here.
• Poor organization : Make sure your essay has a strong structure with clear transitions between paragraphs. An outline will work best to accomplish this. If you go into starting your college essay without a plan, be prepared to hit all roadblocks.
• Neglecting to Revise and Edit : Like procrastinating, don't fail to revise and edit your work. Always, always, always proofread your essay for grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors , as well as clarity and coherence.
• Not Seeking Feedback : Listen, I know that completing an essay is an accomplishment in itself, and you immediately want to submit it, but it's so beneficial to have others read your essay for feedback. You can only spot so many holes in your work when your eyes are constantly reviewing it, so a second, third, or even fourth set of eyes can help point out areas for improvement.

Above all, trust the writing process. Though I do want you to be aware of your jargon, don't get too wrapped up in thinking you're making a mistake. That's what editing is for! Once you complete your college essay, you should always revise and edit accordingly . What you thought sounded good might make you edit it to sound great. Just keep in mind that many colleges are looking for honesty and authenticity vs how well you can sound on paper . So, if you're aware of these factors, you'll be good to go.

Ways to Overcome Writer's Block

Take it from someone who has suffered from chronic writer's block, it's a pain to get through . Imagine being on a writing streak so good that when you stop, the entire essay writing process stops as a whole. It's definitely a challenge, but after 10 years of writing essays and really honing my craft, I learned a few things that have helped me get through even the thickest of writer's blocks, and I want to share them with you. Check them out:

• Take a break : This works every single time. Take a short break and step away from your computer to clear your mind and come back with a fresh perspective. For me, 15 minutes is all I ever need. If you need more time, that's okay. Just try not to make your break a rest.
• Freewriting : Sometimes, I'd start writing without worrying about my structure or grammar to get the ideas flowing, and surprisingly enough, I found my essay taking a pleasant turn.
• Change your environment : Move around. Don't underestimate the effects of a different location or workspace to stimulate creativity. Try coffee shops, bookstores, a park, or a new room in your house. New environment, new energy.
• Set small goals : This one is actually the most important. Some people get overwhelmed with the word "essay" for things like lack of proper writing skills, pressure to write a great essay, etc. But if you try breaking down your writing task into smaller, manageable chunks to make it less overwhelming, it can help. For example, set a goal of three paragraphs one day, take a day to edit those paragraphs, two more the next day, and so forth. Find a formula that works for you.
• Brainstorming : Write down all your ideas--everything. No matter how small you think the idea is, write it down. Even if these ideas seem unrelated, they will help you generate new thoughts and connections.
• Read or listen to music : It took me a while to realize this helps, but engaging in other forms of art can inspire new ideas and break through mental blocks. And new creativity can lead you to impress admissions officers.
• Talk it out : As a writer, it's hard to let people in on the creative process, but discussing my ideas with a friend, family member, or colleague helped me gain new perspectives and insights.
• Relax and Meditate : Hear me out: it works! Practice deep breathing and/or meditation to reduce stress and anxiety that may be contributing to writer's block.

I won't sugarcoat it: the college application process can be intimidating , but it doesn't have to throw you off your game. When it comes to college essays, I see them as opportunities to be fun and expressive. Trust me when I say if you have fun with it, you'll attract the reader's attention , paint vivid details, and write an essay that will leave the admissions officer wanting you at their school. So, take it one step at a time and watch your personal statement come to life.

How can I make my college essay stand out to admissions officers?

Simply put, be yourself. As long as you stay on track with the essay's topic, showing pieces of yourself will allow admissions officers to know more about who you are. Essays are meant to show readers who you are, how you feel, and what you think naturally, not robotically, so be authentic in your writing, and you'll be sure to stand out amongst the rest.

What are some common mistakes to avoid when writing a college essay?

Some common mistakes to avoid in your essay are using cliches and boring wording. You also want to avoid procrastinating, wasting time, not focusing, not editing, etc. When writing your essay, you want to make sure you give your writing the time and attention it deserves, so make sure you're aware of what is pulling you away from your writing. This will help you stay focused. If you have any other doubts, refer to the section about mistakes in this article and let it guide you to success.

How important is the college essay in the admissions process?

Your college essay is key in the admissions process . It's an admissions committee's first impression of you as a writer and potential student, so it should be taken very seriously. Trying to cut corners or rush through the writing process will be obvious, and it will stand out more than things like test scores, academic achievements, extracurricular activities, and any other positive influence you've had in your life. So, don't take the easy way out and really work on your essay.

Feeling confident in your college essay skills and want to explore some other essay content? Explore our blog on the comma splice to enhance your technical writing skills!

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, how to incorporate my identity background in my college essay.

I've been working on my college essay, and I want to showcase my unique identity background. However, I'm not sure how to share my experiences without coming across as cliché. Any advice on how to express my background in a compelling way?

One of the key aspects of writing a strong college essay is to ensure that you're sharing an authentic, personal story rather than a cliché that admissions officers have read countless times. To effectively incorporate your identity background, consider the following tips:

1. Reflect on your experiences: Take some time to think deeply about your background and how it has shaped who you are today. Write down your thoughts, memories, and anecdotes from various stages of your life, as these can serve as the foundation for your essay.

2. Find a unique angle: Instead of focusing on generic aspects of your background, dig deeper to uncover the less-obvious experiences that have influenced you. For example, if you come from an immigrant family, instead of writing about how you learned English or adjusted to a new culture, consider discussing a specific event, tradition, or family member who has made a significant impact on your journey.

3. Focus on specific experiences: Using a few specific anecdotes can help make your essay feel more authentic and engaging. By sharing concrete experiences, you'll provide the reader with a clearer sense of your identity and the various factors that have shaped you.

4. Show growth and development: A great personal story often emphasizes the personal growth or self-awareness that you gained along the way. By demonstrating how you've evolved throughout your experiences, you can portray yourself as a resilient and adaptable individual who's ready to face new challenges at college.

5. Be genuine: Write in your own voice and use your natural style. Trying too hard to impress or writing what you think the admissions officers want to hear will likely come across as insincere. Remember, your goal is to present a true reflection of yourself.

6. Get feedback: Share your essay with someone who knows you well and can provide an honest opinion. They can offer insights on whether your essay feels genuine and meaningful, and if it adequately captures your unique story. Don't be afraid to revise and rework your essay based on the feedback you receive.

Also check out this CollegeVine article for more tips on writing about identity: https://blog.collegevine.com/4-tips-for-writing-a-diversity-college-essay

Incorporating your identity background in a compelling way involves self-reflection, finding a unique angle, and focusing on specific experiences. By showcasing your personal growth and showcasing your authentic self, you'll create a memorable essay that leaves an impression on the admissions officers.

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

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College Essays

If you grow up to be a professional writer, everything you write will first go through an editor before being published. This is because the process of writing is really a process of re-writing —of rethinking and reexamining your work, usually with the help of someone else. So what does this mean for your student writing? And in particular, what does it mean for very important, but nonprofessional writing like your college essay? Should you ask your parents to look at your essay? Pay for an essay service?

If you are wondering what kind of help you can, and should, get with your personal statement, you've come to the right place! In this article, I'll talk about what kind of writing help is useful, ethical, and even expected for your college admission essay . I'll also point out who would make a good editor, what the differences between editing and proofreading are, what to expect from a good editor, and how to spot and stay away from a bad one.

Table of Contents

What Kind of Help for Your Essay Can You Get?

What's Good Editing?

What should an editor do for you, what kind of editing should you avoid, proofreading, what's good proofreading, what kind of proofreading should you avoid.

What Do Colleges Think Of You Getting Help With Your Essay?

Who Can/Should Help You?

Advice for editors.

Should You Pay Money For Essay Editing?

The Bottom Line

What's next, what kind of help with your essay can you get.

Rather than talking in general terms about "help," let's first clarify the two different ways that someone else can improve your writing . There is editing, which is the more intensive kind of assistance that you can use throughout the whole process. And then there's proofreading, which is the last step of really polishing your final product.

Let me go into some more detail about editing and proofreading, and then explain how good editors and proofreaders can help you."

Editing is helping the author (in this case, you) go from a rough draft to a finished work . Editing is the process of asking questions about what you're saying, how you're saying it, and how you're organizing your ideas. But not all editing is good editing . In fact, it's very easy for an editor to cross the line from supportive to overbearing and over-involved.

Ability to clarify assignments. A good editor is usually a good writer, and certainly has to be a good reader. For example, in this case, a good editor should make sure you understand the actual essay prompt you're supposed to be answering.

Open-endedness. Good editing is all about asking questions about your ideas and work, but without providing answers. It's about letting you stick to your story and message, and doesn't alter your point of view.

Think of an editor as a great travel guide. It can show you the many different places your trip could take you. It should explain any parts of the trip that could derail your trip or confuse the traveler. But it never dictates your path, never forces you to go somewhere you don't want to go, and never ignores your interests so that the trip no longer seems like it's your own. So what should good editors do?

Help Brainstorm Topics

Sometimes it's easier to bounce thoughts off of someone else. This doesn't mean that your editor gets to come up with ideas, but they can certainly respond to the various topic options you've come up with. This way, you're less likely to write about the most boring of your ideas, or to write about something that isn't actually important to you.

If you're wondering how to come up with options for your editor to consider, check out our guide to brainstorming topics for your college essay .

Help Revise Your Drafts

Here, your editor can't upset the delicate balance of not intervening too much or too little. It's tricky, but a great way to think about it is to remember: editing is about asking questions, not giving answers .

Revision questions should point out:

• Places where more detail or more description would help the reader connect with your essay
• Places where structure and logic don't flow, losing the reader's attention
• Places where there aren't transitions between paragraphs, confusing the reader
• Moments where your narrative or the arguments you're making are unclear

But pointing to potential problems is not the same as actually rewriting—editors let authors fix the problems themselves.

Bad editing is usually very heavy-handed editing. Instead of helping you find your best voice and ideas, a bad editor changes your writing into their own vision.

You may be dealing with a bad editor if they:

• Add material (examples, descriptions) that doesn't come from you
• Use a thesaurus to make your college essay sound "more mature"
• Add meaning or insight to the essay that doesn't come from you
• Tell you what to say and how to say it
• Write sentences, phrases, and paragraphs for you
• Change your voice in the essay so it no longer sounds like it was written by a teenager

Colleges can tell the difference between a 17-year-old's writing and a 50-year-old's writing. Not only that, they have access to your SAT or ACT Writing section, so they can compare your essay to something else you wrote. Writing that's a little more polished is great and expected. But a totally different voice and style will raise questions.

Where's the Line Between Helpful Editing and Unethical Over-Editing?

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether your college essay editor is doing the right thing. Here are some guidelines for staying on the ethical side of the line.

• An editor should say that the opening paragraph is kind of boring, and explain what exactly is making it drag. But it's overstepping for an editor to tell you exactly how to change it.
• An editor should point out where your prose is unclear or vague. But it's completely inappropriate for the editor to rewrite that section of your essay.
• An editor should let you know that a section is light on detail or description. But giving you similes and metaphors to beef up that description is a no-go.

Proofreading (also called copy-editing) is checking for errors in the last draft of a written work. It happens at the end of the process and is meant as the final polishing touch. Proofreading is meticulous and detail-oriented, focusing on small corrections. It sands off all the surface rough spots that could alienate the reader.

Because proofreading is usually concerned with making fixes on the word or sentence level, this is the only process where someone else can actually add to or take away things from your essay . This is because what they are adding or taking away tends to be one or two misplaced letters.

Laser focus. Proofreading is all about the tiny details, so the ability to really concentrate on finding small slip-ups is a must.

Excellent grammar and spelling skills. Proofreaders need to dot every "i" and cross every "t." Good proofreaders should correct spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and grammar. They should put foreign words in italics and surround quotations with quotation marks. They should check that you used the correct college's name, and that you adhered to any formatting requirements (name and date at the top of the page, uniform font and size, uniform spacing).

Limited interference. A proofreader needs to make sure that you followed any word limits. But if cuts need to be made to shorten the essay, that's your job and not the proofreader's.

A bad proofreader either tries to turn into an editor, or just lacks the skills and knowledge necessary to do the job.

Some signs that you're working with a bad proofreader are:

• If they suggest making major changes to the final draft of your essay. Proofreading happens when editing is already finished.
• If they aren't particularly good at spelling, or don't know grammar, or aren't detail-oriented enough to find someone else's small mistakes.
• If they start swapping out your words for fancier-sounding synonyms, or changing the voice and sound of your essay in other ways. A proofreader is there to check for errors, not to take the 17-year-old out of your writing.

What Do Colleges Think of Your Getting Help With Your Essay?

Admissions officers agree: light editing and proofreading are good—even required ! But they also want to make sure you're the one doing the work on your essay. They want essays with stories, voice, and themes that come from you. They want to see work that reflects your actual writing ability, and that focuses on what you find important.

On the Importance of Editing

Get feedback. Have a fresh pair of eyes give you some feedback. Don't allow someone else to rewrite your essay, but do take advantage of others' edits and opinions when they seem helpful. ( Bates College )

Read your essay aloud to someone. Reading the essay out loud offers a chance to hear how your essay sounds outside your head. This exercise reveals flaws in the essay's flow, highlights grammatical errors and helps you ensure that you are communicating the exact message you intended. ( Dickinson College )

On the Value of Proofreading

Share your essays with at least one or two people who know you well—such as a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend—and ask for feedback. Remember that you ultimately have control over your essays, and your essays should retain your own voice, but others may be able to catch mistakes that you missed and help suggest areas to cut if you are over the word limit. ( Yale University )

Proofread and then ask someone else to proofread for you. Although we want substance, we also want to be able to see that you can write a paper for our professors and avoid careless mistakes that would drive them crazy. ( Oberlin College )

On Watching Out for Too Much Outside Influence

Limit the number of people who review your essay. Too much input usually means your voice is lost in the writing style. ( Carleton College )

Ask for input (but not too much). Your parents, friends, guidance counselors, coaches, and teachers are great people to bounce ideas off of for your essay. They know how unique and spectacular you are, and they can help you decide how to articulate it. Keep in mind, however, that a 45-year-old lawyer writes quite differently from an 18-year-old student, so if your dad ends up writing the bulk of your essay, we're probably going to notice. ( Vanderbilt University )

Now let's talk about some potential people to approach for your college essay editing and proofreading needs. It's best to start close to home and slowly expand outward. Not only are your family and friends more invested in your success than strangers, but they also have a better handle on your interests and personality. This knowledge is key for judging whether your essay is expressing your true self.

Parents or Close Relatives

Your family may be full of potentially excellent editors! Parents are deeply committed to your well-being, and family members know you and your life well enough to offer details or incidents that can be included in your essay. On the other hand, the rewriting process necessarily involves criticism, which is sometimes hard to hear from someone very close to you.

A parent or close family member is a great choice for an editor if you can answer "yes" to the following questions. Is your parent or close relative a good writer or reader? Do you have a relationship where editing your essay won't create conflict? Are you able to constructively listen to criticism and suggestion from the parent?

One suggestion for defusing face-to-face discussions is to try working on the essay over email. Send your parent a draft, have them write you back some comments, and then you can pick which of their suggestions you want to use and which to discard.

Teachers or Tutors

A humanities teacher that you have a good relationship with is a great choice. I am purposefully saying humanities, and not just English, because teachers of Philosophy, History, Anthropology, and any other classes where you do a lot of writing, are all used to reviewing student work.

Moreover, any teacher or tutor that has been working with you for some time, knows you very well and can vet the essay to make sure it "sounds like you."

If your teacher or tutor has some experience with what college essays are supposed to be like, ask them to be your editor. If not, then ask whether they have time to proofread your final draft.

Guidance or College Counselor at Your School

The best thing about asking your counselor to edit your work is that this is their job. This means that they have a very good sense of what colleges are looking for in an application essay.

At the same time, school counselors tend to have relationships with admissions officers in many colleges, which again gives them insight into what works and which college is focused on what aspect of the application.

Unfortunately, in many schools the guidance counselor tends to be way overextended. If your ratio is 300 students to 1 college counselor, you're unlikely to get that person's undivided attention and focus. It is still useful to ask them for general advice about your potential topics, but don't expect them to be able to stay with your essay from first draft to final version.

Friends, Siblings, or Classmates

Although they most likely don't have much experience with what colleges are hoping to see, your peers are excellent sources for checking that your essay is you .

Friends and siblings are perfect for the read-aloud edit. Read your essay to them so they can listen for words and phrases that are stilted, pompous, or phrases that just don't sound like you.

You can even trade essays and give helpful advice on each other's work.

If your editor hasn't worked with college admissions essays very much, no worries! Any astute and attentive reader can still greatly help with your process. But, as in all things, beginners do better with some preparation.

First, your editor should read our advice about how to write a college essay introduction , how to spot and fix a bad college essay , and get a sense of what other students have written by going through some admissions essays that worked .

Then, as they read your essay, they can work through the following series of questions that will help them to guide you.

Introduction Questions

• Is the first sentence a killer opening line? Why or why not?
• Does the introduction hook the reader? Does it have a colorful, detailed, and interesting narrative? Or does it propose a compelling or surprising idea?
• Can you feel the author's voice in the introduction, or is the tone dry, dull, or overly formal? Show the places where the voice comes through.

Essay Body Questions

• Does the essay have a through-line? Is it built around a central argument, thought, idea, or focus? Can you put this idea into your own words?
• How is the essay organized? By logical progression? Chronologically? Do you feel order when you read it, or are there moments where you are confused or lose the thread of the essay?
• Does the essay have both narratives about the author's life and explanations and insight into what these stories reveal about the author's character, personality, goals, or dreams? If not, which is missing?
• Does the essay flow? Are there smooth transitions/clever links between paragraphs? Between the narrative and moments of insight?

Reader Response Questions

• Does the writer's personality come through? Do we know what the speaker cares about? Do we get a sense of "who he or she is"?
• Where did you feel most connected to the essay? Which parts of the essay gave you a "you are there" sensation by invoking your senses? What moments could you picture in your head well?
• Where are the details and examples vague and not specific enough?
• Did you get an "a-ha!" feeling anywhere in the essay? Is there a moment of insight that connected all the dots for you? Is there a good reveal or "twist" anywhere in the essay?
• What are the strengths of this essay? What needs the most improvement?

Should You Pay Money for Essay Editing?

One alternative to asking someone you know to help you with your college essay is the paid editor route. There are two different ways to pay for essay help: a private essay coach or a less personal editing service , like the many proliferating on the internet.

My advice is to think of these options as a last resort rather than your go-to first choice. I'll first go through the reasons why. Then, if you do decide to go with a paid editor, I'll help you decide between a coach and a service.

When to Consider a Paid Editor

In general, I think hiring someone to work on your essay makes a lot of sense if none of the people I discussed above are a possibility for you.

If you can't ask your parents. For example, if your parents aren't good writers, or if English isn't their first language. Or if you think getting your parents to help is going create unnecessary extra conflict in your relationship with them (applying to college is stressful as it is!)

If you can't ask your teacher or tutor. Maybe you don't have a trusted teacher or tutor that has time to look over your essay with focus. Or, for instance, your favorite humanities teacher has very limited experience with college essays and so won't know what admissions officers want to see.

If you can't ask your guidance counselor. This could be because your guidance counselor is way overwhelmed with other students.

If you can't share your essay with those who know you. It might be that your essay is on a very personal topic that you're unwilling to share with parents, teachers, or peers. Just make sure it doesn't fall into one of the bad-idea topics in our article on bad college essays .

If the cost isn't a consideration. Many of these services are quite expensive, and private coaches even more so. If you have finite resources, I'd say that hiring an SAT or ACT tutor (whether it's PrepScholar or someone else) is better way to spend your money . This is because there's no guarantee that a slightly better essay will sufficiently elevate the rest of your application, but a significantly higher SAT score will definitely raise your applicant profile much more.

Should You Hire an Essay Coach?

On the plus side, essay coaches have read dozens or even hundreds of college essays, so they have experience with the format. Also, because you'll be working closely with a specific person, it's more personal than sending your essay to a service, which will know even less about you.

But, on the minus side, you'll still be bouncing ideas off of someone who doesn't know that much about you . In general, if you can adequately get the help from someone you know, there is no advantage to paying someone to help you.

If you do decide to hire a coach, ask your school counselor, or older students that have used the service for recommendations. If you can't afford the coach's fees, ask whether they can work on a sliding scale —many do. And finally, beware those who guarantee admission to your school of choice—essay coaches don't have any special magic that can back up those promises.

Should You Send Your Essay to a Service?

On the plus side, essay editing services provide a similar product to essay coaches, and they cost significantly less . If you have some assurance that you'll be working with a good editor, the lack of face-to-face interaction won't prevent great results.

On the minus side, however, it can be difficult to gauge the quality of the service before working with them . If they are churning through many application essays without getting to know the students they are helping, you could end up with an over-edited essay that sounds just like everyone else's. In the worst case scenario, an unscrupulous service could send you back a plagiarized essay.

Getting recommendations from friends or a school counselor for reputable services is key to avoiding heavy-handed editing that writes essays for you or does too much to change your essay. Including a badly-edited essay like this in your application could cause problems if there are inconsistencies. For example, in interviews it might be clear you didn't write the essay, or the skill of the essay might not be reflected in your schoolwork and test scores.

Should You Buy an Essay Written by Someone Else?

Let me elaborate. There are super sketchy places on the internet where you can simply buy a pre-written essay. Don't do this!

For one thing, you'll be lying on an official, signed document. All college applications make you sign a statement saying something like this:

I certify that all information submitted in the admission process—including the application, the personal essay, any supplements, and any other supporting materials—is my own work, factually true, and honestly presented... I understand that I may be subject to a range of possible disciplinary actions, including admission revocation, expulsion, or revocation of course credit, grades, and degree, should the information I have certified be false. (From the Common Application )

For another thing, if your academic record doesn't match the essay's quality, the admissions officer will start thinking your whole application is riddled with lies.

Admission officers have full access to your writing portion of the SAT or ACT so that they can compare work that was done in proctored conditions with that done at home. They can tell if these were written by different people. Not only that, but there are now a number of search engines that faculty and admission officers can use to see if an essay contains strings of words that have appeared in other essays—you have no guarantee that the essay you bought wasn't also bought by 50 other students.

• You should get college essay help with both editing and proofreading
• A good editor will ask questions about your idea, logic, and structure, and will point out places where clarity is needed
• A good editor will absolutely not answer these questions, give you their own ideas, or write the essay or parts of the essay for you
• A good proofreader will find typos and check your formatting
• All of them agree that getting light editing and proofreading is necessary
• Parents, teachers, guidance or college counselor, and peers or siblings
• If you can't ask any of those, you can pay for college essay help, but watch out for services or coaches who over-edit you work
• Don't buy a pre-written essay! Colleges can tell, and it'll make your whole application sound false.

Ready to start working on your essay? Check out our explanation of the point of the personal essay and the role it plays on your applications and then explore our step-by-step guide to writing a great college essay .

Using the Common Application for your college applications? We have an excellent guide to the Common App essay prompts and useful advice on how to pick the Common App prompt that's right for you . Wondering how other people tackled these prompts? Then work through our roundup of over 130 real college essay examples published by colleges .

Stressed about whether to take the SAT again before submitting your application? Let us help you decide how many times to take this test . If you choose to go for it, we have the ultimate guide to studying for the SAT to give you the ins and outs of the best ways to study.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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