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How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do’s, Don’ts, and Delivery PART 1/3: Do’s

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How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do’s, Don’ts, and Delivery PART 2/3: Don’ts

how to deliver a good wedding speech

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how to write a wedding speech dos

how to write a wedding speech dos

Someone you love is getting married, and you’ve just been asked to give a speech at the wedding. What an honor! But also, if you’re not used to giving speeches, what a nightmare! Public speaking can be scary , which is why many people prefer to avoid it. But when your bestie asks you to make a speech at his or her wedding, it’s time to rally. But now you’re wondering if you even know how to write a wedding speech! What makes some wedding speeches fun and memorable, and what makes others cringy and fall flat? We’ve got you. We’ve put together the ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech, focusing on things you definitely should do, things you definitely should NOT do, and then how to deliver your killer wedding speech like a pro.

If you’re wondering how to write a wedding speech, here are a few “Do’s” to keep in mind.

  • Start planning early
  • Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom
  • Thanks to hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple
  • Make it personal
  • Think of 3 traits with 3 stories
  • Talk about the couple
  • Have a beginning, middle, and end
  • Consider your audience
  • Keep it short and sweet
  • It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

1. Start planning early

If you don’t know how to write a wedding speech but the bride just asked you to give one, this is not a time to procrastinate. Public speaking is one of the number one fears many people have, so it’s likely you’ve avoided giving too many public speeches before this. And unless you’re a performer or a veteran improv comedian, you might not do too well winging this one. If you get nervous in front of an audience (as most of us do), the best defense against freezing up when you take the mic is being prepared. 

As soon as you know you’ve been asked to give a speech at the wedding, begin jotting down notes immediately. Whenever you’re inspired by a thought of the couple or remember an anecdote that might be worth retelling, make note of it. This will help to give you a pool of ideas to draw from when you start writing down the speech.

Begin gathering ideas and writing the speech a couple of weeks to a month before the wedding. You’ll need time to edit, fine-tune it, and make it concise. And as wedding showers, bachelorette parties, and other wedding festivities begin, you might find there are entertaining stories from these events you want to add as well. If you want to write it all at once, you can do that too. However, make sure to sleep on it and come back with fresh eyes. You don’t want just “okay,” you want your speech to be heartfelt and meaningful.

You will also want to begin early to give yourself time to practice and rehearse your speech plenty of times.

2. Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom

No matter how large or small the wedding is, it’s likely you will not be familiar with many of the guests on one or both sides. And they won’t be familiar with you either. So don’t leave them guessing! 

Make sure when you start to write a wedding speech to introduce yourself and mention how you know the couple. This will help them understand the context of your speech, which will also help it to be more well-received. 

3. Thank hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple

It’s also courteous to take this time to thank the hosts and other members of the wedding party for all the hard work that went into the event, and to thank guests for being there to support the newlyweds, especially those who had to travel far. 

It’s also a good time to officially congratulate the newlyweds and offer them your personal well-wishes for their future. It is imperative that you don’t forget this part, because they are the whole reason you’re there and giving a speech!

4. Make it personal

Whether you are the maid of honor, the best man, father of the bride, or just a friend, you were asked to give a speech because of your close connection and relationship with either the bride or groom (or both). 

And since you know your friend as well as you do, you probably have plenty of stories to share; so the next tip for how to write a wedding speech is don’t hesitate to make it personal and share those stories! This will also help guests get to know the other half of the couple they might not know as well or are just meeting for the first time. And those guests who do know them will love hearing some entertaining stories they might not have heard yet.

5. Think of 3 traits with 3 stories

If you’re finding it difficult to come up with anything, a useful approach for how to write a wedding speech is to think of 3 positive defining traits or qualities of the bride or groom and recount three stories or examples that illuminate a time they exhibited these traits. These stories could be comedic, heartwarming, or both. Just make sure they are relevant and entertaining!

6. Talk about the couple

If you’re the maid of honor and have been chatting up the bride for the whole speech, part of how to write a wedding speech is to make sure at some point it circles around to the groom, too, and to the two of them as a couple.  

Recount the time you met him, or how you remember talking about him with the bride in the beginning stages of their relationship. If you don’t know the groom all that well, talk about how good they are as a couple and about how happy he makes her. 

And If you’re not a fan of the groom, this is not the time to air your grievances. Always keep it positive. 

7. Have a beginning, middle, and end

All good speeches have a good flow and take the audience along with it. 

Don’t let your speech fall flat or jumble together in a haphazard confusion of disconnected anecdotes. Give it the structure of an overarching theme, with a beginning, a middle, and an end. 

We are not talking about a novel here, just make sure there is a direction to where the speech is going, and that the destination, end, or sentiment is achieved. It doesn’t need to be Charlie Chaplin in The Great Dictator, but a three-act structure does help keep you grounded. Most people also follow a story easier when there is a clear direction for a story or speech. 

8. Consider your audience

The next thing to keep in mind when considering how to write a wedding speech is to make sure you consider who your audience is. 

This is not the bachelor or bachelorette party. There will be a wide range of people present from children to the elderly, and from close friends of the bride and groom to casual acquaintances and coworkers. Make sure your speech is free of any crudeness that might not be fit for such a varied audience. Also, this isn’t the time to take a shot at any of the religious cermonies.

Be considerate and keep it positive and use language everyone can relate to. 

9. Keep it short and sweet

You want your speech to be meaningful and memorable; but the wedding is not about you, and yours is not the only speech. 

No one ever complains about a speech being too short, but they do begin to grumble if it runs on too long. A good rule of thumb to keep in mind when figuring out how to write a wedding speech is to keep your speech between 2-5 minutes long. Any longer than 5 minutes and you’ll lose everyone to thoughts of cake and whether or not to Cupid Shuffle later. 

10. Add humor

Don’t be afraid to be funny! Another tip for how to write a wedding speech is that if you’ve got a lighthearted, creative, joking side, use it and add humor to your speech! Everyone likes to be entertained. 

This doesn’t mean you should scour the internet for generic wedding-themed jokes, but if you’ve got some good original material to use that helps relate a story about the bride or groom in a comedic way, do it. As long as you’re not making fun of the couple but having fun with them, jokes are great. Or you can even poke fun at yourself to illuminate a higher quality in your bestie. It’s all about making the newlyweds shine. 

If you’re creative and have other talents, use them! If you are musical, bust out your instrument and/or vocal cords and make the speech in the form of a song! Use props, and get the other guests involved! The newlyweds will feel special because you created something for them, and the guests will love joining in the fun.

11. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

If entertaining isn’t your thing, that’s okay! Don’t force it – just be yourself. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful with your speech. Always keep in mind when you go to write a wedding speech that what’s important is that you are genuine and speak from the heart.

Hopefully, you found these tips for how to write a wedding speech helpful, and can start writing today! And stay tuned to our blog for the next part in this ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech where we highlight a few things you should definitely avoid.

Love this content and want more? Read more about weddings on our blog ! Involved in the wedding planning process and the bride is still looking for a venue ? Give us a call today and we’ll help you find the perfect place!

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How to Write a Wedding Toast: Examples, Tips, and Advice

Make sure your moment in the spotlight is memorable—in a good way!

Jaimie Mackey was the real weddings editor at Brides from 2013 to 2015. She also worked as a luxury wedding planner and produced over 100 high-end weddings and events in Colorado

Photo by Olivia & Dan Photography

In This Article

Figuring out how to write a wedding toast can be an incredibly intimidating and nerve-inducing task. Wedding toasts can go one of two ways: They’re either hilarious, memorable, and totally sweet, or a train wreck waiting to happen. Every couple hopes the speeches at the reception fall into the first category, but there’s no guarantee—until now.

To combat those awful speeches, Marisa Polansky and Kristine Keller founded Speech Tank , offering completely custom, one-of-a-kind toasts for any occasion. And what better reason to turn to the experts than for your best friend’s wedding? We sat down with Polansky and Keller to get the inside scoop on writing a totally killer speech . With their help, your audience will be begging for an encore!

Meet the Expert

  • Marisa Polansky is a book editor, author, and co-founder of Speech Tank, a collaborative speech-writing service for any occasion.
  • Kristine Keller is a writer and the co-founder of Speech Tank.

Wedding Toast Template

Your wedding toast should be meaningful, but not drawn out. Make sure to have a beginning, middle, and end.

While everyone's speech will be unique to them and their relationship with the couple, we put together a general outline to help you get started.

  • Congratulate the couple. Express how happy you are that the two of them are getting married and what it means to you to witness it.
  • Introduce yourself. Not everyone will know you met the bride or groom at the fourth-grade space camp, so be sure to let guests know about your relationship with the couple before you dive into your speech.
  • Tell a (curated) story. When you’re writing your speech, “Choose anecdotes that all fit a theme and support your argument,” Keller says. The theme will help tie it together, making your toast feel intentional instead of random.
  • Address both partners. You may not know them both well, but you shouldn’t focus all of your attention on your friend and ignore their new spouse. “Even if you’ve only met your friend’s partner once or twice before, find a way to include him or her in your toast,” Polansky says. “Tell the story of their engagement or share something your friend told you about them that proves what a great partner he or she is.”
  • Go for the crowd-pleasers. “Anything that’s an inside joke may have been funny at the time, but no one else will understand what you’re talking about,” Keller says. “Run your stories and jokes by a neutral audience to see if they are as funny as you think.” And remember, a little humor is fine, but this is a toast, not a roast!
  • Raise your glass for a toast. To wrap up your speech, invite everyone to raise their glass to the couple, or to love, etc., then cheers glasses together and take a sip.

Don’t count on your phone, which may lock or turn off mid-speech. Instead, print out your toast or put it on note cards for reference. “It’s your moment to have the floor, so don’t risk forgetting your point!” Keller says.

Wedding Toast Tips

Here are Polansky and Keller's best tips for writing and delivering your wedding toast.

  • Just get started. It’s your big moment, but figuring out where to start can be tough. “When we work with our clients, we always start with a stream of consciousness,” Keller says. “We ask them to just start telling us stories. You might not think every anecdote is important, but all of a sudden you’ll land on a real gem.”
  • Start writing things down. When you’re doing this at home on your own, Polansky says to just start writing stuff down. “Put it all down on paper. Don’t worry about editing as you’re writing, just get it out and then go back and pick and choose details when you’re done.” This will help you identify a theme, which is what you’ll need to make your toast really memorable.
  • Use examples. “If you’re trying to make a point about the bride or groom's personality—say, that she or he's particularly loyal—don’t just say that and move on. Pick a specific moment that proves your point. Have something to back it up!” Polansky says. Including some proof will make sure your listeners really buy what you’re saying about the couple.
  • Make it quick. “The best length for a toast is about three minutes,” Polansky says. “It’s enough time to say what you need to say, but short enough that you’ll still have everyone’s attention when you ask them to raise their glasses to toast the happy couple.”
  • Practice. Think you know what three minutes feels like? Think again. “Practice reading your speech out loud (not in your head!) and time yourself,” Polansky says. “Don’t wing it, especially if you’re nervous,” Polansky continues. “Give yourself time to prepare. Practice with an audience to check your timing, and give yourself time to make edits.”
  • Don't overstuff your speech. “If you’re a fast talker, try to slow yourself down so everyone will understand you,” Polansky says. Better to cut a few lines than to try to fit a 10-minute toast into a three-minute time frame!
  • Keep it clean-ish. This may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s important to know your audience. “Cursing and stories about exes are totally off-limits,” Keller says.
  • Don't embarrass the couple. “Ask yourself how each story will present the couple. If it sheds any negative light on either person, avoid it.” Continues Polansky, “Think about how close you are with the family as well as who you know will be there. Will it make the bride or groom's great aunt uncomfortable?”

Every time you feel nervous, tell yourself you're excited instead.

Get Brainstorming!

Now that you know the basics, here are a few questions to ask yourself to help you get started writing that killer wedding toast.

  • What is your first memory of the bride/groom?
  • What is your favorite memory of the bride/groom?
  • What did they say when they first told you about their partner?
  • How did you know they were meant to be?
  • What has the bride/groom or the couple as a whole taught you?
  • What qualities do you admire in them?
  • When are times that they displayed these qualities?

Related Stories

  • The Wedding Speech Order You Should Follow at Your Reception
  • 39 Funny Wedding Toasts and Speeches That'll Get the Whole Room Laughing
  • How to Write and Deliver a Perfect Father-of-the-Bride Speech
  • How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech
  • Public Speaking Experts Share Their Top Tips for Giving an Amazing Wedding Speech
  • How to Write a Sister-of-the-Groom Speech
  • How to Write a Father-of-the-Groom Speech
  • How to Write a Rehearsal Dinner Toast
  • How to Write a Maid of Honor Speech
  • How to Write an Unforgettable Newlywed Reception Toast
  • 60 Wedding Toast Quotes for Every Speech
  • Mother-of-the-Bride Speech Examples and Writing Tips
  • How to Write Simple Wedding Vows
  • How to Write a Heartfelt Letter to the Bride If You're Her Bridesmaid, Friend, or Family
  • Bridal Shower Card Messages: Writing Tips and Examples to Inspire Your Own
  • 8 Sample Wedding Ceremony Scripts to Guide Your Own Celebration

To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories .

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How to Write—And Deliver—The Perfect Wedding Speech

By Shelby Wax

How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech

If one of your nearest and dearest is tying the knot, it’s possible you may be asked to give a speech during the wedding festivities. And while having an opportunity to share your love and memories at a major milestone event is an honor, there’s no denying that it’s a big ask—especially if public speaking isn’t your forté. A wedding speech presents a unique challenge: There’s no set formula for how the speech should play out, but it often requires sentimentality, a touch of humor, and the good sense to know when to wrap it up.

Are you a member of the wedding party that wants to (or has been asked to) give a toast at an upcoming celebration? Read ahead to learn how to write and prepare for your big moment.

Who Gives a Wedding Speech?

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First off, it’s important to make sure that the couple definitely wants you to give a toast at their celebrations. Traditionally, the maid of honor, best man, and parents of the couple will give a speech at the wedding. However, the couple should explicitly ask these guests well in advance to give a speech so they have plenty of time to prepare. They may also choose additional wedding party members to give toasts at the reception or pre-wedding parties; but if the couple has not asked you to give a speech, do not prepare one. Speeches are carefully placed into a wedding timeline so the day will stay on schedule, and an additional five minutes could cut into strategically timed moments of the celebration.

The to-be-weds also have the right to curate the day as they wish, and occasionally at a rehearsal dinner or welcome party, the couple may open the floor to additional toasts. But if this doesn’t happen, grabbing the mic unexpectedly for an off-the-cuff speech (especially after a few glasses of wine) will not be appreciated.

How to Write a Wedding Speech

How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech

If you are asked to give a toast, it’s important that you don’t just wing it. “First, recognize that speechwriting is a creative process,” shares Allison Shapira, founder and CEO of Global Public Speaking . “Give yourself plenty of time to be creative (i.e. not the night before, when you already have so much to stress about). Wait for your most creative time of the day, and turn off any distractions. Spend some unrushed time thinking about your relationship to the couple, and what you’d like to say.”

While there’s no exact template to follow, there is a good basic formula to adhere to. “The framework I recommend for a wedding speech is: story, message, blessing,” she shares. “Tell a heartwarming story, share the message or value behind that story, and then offer a blessing or wish for the couple based on that message.”

“Typically, we advise our speakers to try to bring the audience on a journey where you initially try to make them laugh, then get to the real depth of the speech and earn some tears, then bring the whole speech full circle with a deep insight or story about the couple that ends with a funny final punch,” shares Steven Greitzer, CEO and founder of Provenance , an AI company that specializes in helping write personalized wedding vows, ceremonies, and toasts. “It’s important to have a good balance of humor and sentimentality because, if it’s a full roast, it can feel like you’re just doing a standup comedy show for your own benefit and it could lack substance. Or, if it’s too overly emotional, it can get heavy and perhaps a bit too somber for a wedding celebration.”

When choosing a story, Shapira recommends reading the room. “It should obviously be good-natured, without making anyone look bad. And, it all depends on the family dynamics,” she says. “What one family considers good-natured, another family could consider scathing. Choose someone in the audience whom you think could give you some helpful feedback, and practice the speech with them in advance.”

How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech

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Greitzer adds that it's important that both members of the couple are highlighted in the speech. “Great anecdotes showcase who each person was before meeting, their synergy together, and their individual and collective growth,” he shares. If you don’t know one member of the couple very well, don’t be afraid to get creative. “One of the best speeches I’ve seen was from a bridesmaid who hadn’t really been able to spend too much time with her best friend’s fiance because of the pandemic,” Greitzer shares. “She creatively read texts she found in her phone that gave her a hilarious timeline of her friend falling in love.”

If you’re still not sure where to begin, consider giving an AI platform a try to help you form your toast. “The Provenance tools guide speakers to create unique, and personal ceremonies, vows, and toasts without the stress. It’s a partner in your brainstorming process; a way to help you verbalize what you were trying to say—but faster,” explains Greitzer. “Instead of being some outdated, mad-libs-style template, the expert-curated prompts inspire special stories and insights, ultimately weaving your responses together into a custom, editable first draft.”

A final writing tip from Shapira? “I definitely recommend creating an outline but do not recommend writing the speech out word for word. When we script the entire speech, it sounds too formal,” says the public speaking expert. “I recommend first brainstorming the content, rearranging it into a logical structure, then drafting a general outline which you can bring with you to the event. While it may look better to simply give the speech ‘from the heart,’ the stress involved in trying to memorize your speech is simply not worth it.”

How to Deliver a Wedding Speech

Writing a wedding speech is half the battle—next comes your performance. It’s important that your toast has a good flow, feels natural, and doesn’t drag on. Here’s where the idiom “practice makes perfect” rings true. Shapira advises giving yourself a few weeks of rehearsal to make your speech feel authentic and fluid. Her recommendations? “Read your speech out loud and make sure it stays within the time you have allotted. Read it to someone else and get their feedback. Record it and watch it back. We use a tool called AMPLIFY to get AI-based feedback.” She adds, “Don’t memorize the speech, but do read it out loud and make sure it sounds like your voice.”

The ideal length of a toast is between two to four minutes, which translates to around 500 to 1000 words on a page. Still, Greitzer notes, “The perfect length for the wedding toast complies with whatever length the couple wants it to be. Many guests don’t realize that long speeches can impact the whole evening’s timeline and affect the caterer, DJ, and so much more.”

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While it’s now common to see toasts being read off a phone, both experts agree that it’s much better to print out your speech. “Reading off of a phone comes with the risk of distractions from notifications, a weird backlight that can affect the color of your face in photos, finicky technical difficulties, and having that annoying sound interference with the mic,” says Greitzer. (You also should make sure your speech is legible with a large font and wide spacing so you can easily find your place.)

The final hurdle of giving a wedding toast is getting over your nerves. “Find a quiet place right beforehand to center yourself (perhaps the bathroom or a corner of the room), pause and breathe, and remind yourself why you care about the couple,” recommends Shapira. She also adds—perhaps unsurprisingly—that it’s best to hold back on alcohol consumption ahead of the toast. “No one expects a perfect or professional speech; they want a unique, authentic message. The speech isn’t about you—it’s about the couple. Once you reframe the fact that the center of attention isn’t on you, you can relax.”

How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech

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Writing a Wedding Speech: Do's, Don'ts & Tips

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Writing a wedding speech shouldn't feel like a daunting task; it's an incredible opportunity to celebrate the happy couple and share cherished memories with their loved ones. Being asked to write a speech is a profound honor, as the soon-to-be newlyweds want you to play a special role in their big day. While crafting a speech may seem tricky, we've put together the do's and don'ts to make the process smoother and more enjoyable for those tasked with this meaningful responsibility. 

CHOOSING SPEECHMAKERS

Traditionally, the parents, maid of honor, and best man deliver speeches at the reception. However, you can select whomever you'd like to speak at your wedding. If your best man is terrified of public speaking, you don't need to put that pressure on him. Instead, consider a groomsman or a close friend, or opt to skip that role entirely. Considering your inner circle's personalities is essential; you never want to make someone uncomfortable by asking them to write a speech. Standing in front of a crowd is intimidating, and public speaking is only for some. We all have that one friend who loves the limelight; they could be an excellent choice if your closest friends prefer to avoid taking on that task.

SPEECH WRITING DO'S 

Getting started early is a good idea once you are asked to write a speech. Procrastinating can lead to unnecessary stress when this should be a fun task. There are different ways to begin - you could open with a lighthearted joke or simply introduce yourself. If you're going the humor route, make sure to still make your introduction. While most guests may know you, don't assume they all do. Remember to thank the hosts and congratulate the newlyweds. See, it's easier than you thought!  Personalize the speech, whether you are close with one or both of the couple, and share a beloved story about them. A good guideline is to share three traits and three anecdotes about the couple. Ensure you cover the newlywed you're closest with, but talk about them as a couple, too. 

Think simple and heartfelt, short and sweet. Keep it concise, add some jokes, and follow the classic structure with a beginning, middle, and end. Two to five minutes is ideal for a wedding speech, with five minutes being the absolute max. It isn't easy to keep people's attention for any longer than five minutes, even if it is the best speech you've ever written. There are probably other people speaking, so you also want to be mindful of their time.

FOB Speech at Boulder Creek by Wedgewood Weddings

SPEECH WRITING DON'TS

When crafting a wedding speech, focusing on the couple's love story and the joyous occasion is essential. Avoid topics that might dampen the celebratory mood or offend any of the guests. For example, avoid bringing up sensitive subjects like politics, making fun of the couple, or dwelling on past challenges in their relationship. Keep your stories and humor lighthearted, tasteful, and appropriate for all ages, as grandparents and children will likely be in attendance. Refrain from using inside jokes or references that might exclude certain guests, as a wedding speech should be inclusive and relatable to everyone present. The goal is to create a warm, uplifting atmosphere reflecting the newlyweds' love and happiness.

Now that you know what to do and what not to do when writing your speech, here are a few tips for when it is time to give the speech. 

Practice makes perfect

Practicing your speech will boost your confidence and readiness. Stand in front of a mirror and deliver it aloud to spot any errors and refine your delivery. During the actual speech, avoid reading directly from your phone or notes. While you don't need to memorize every word, familiarize yourself with the key points. This approach allows you to connect with the audience and maintain eye contact effectively. 

Limit Alcohol

Speeches usually occur after meal service and before the dancing starts. Limit yourself to a drink or two, avoiding excessive indulgence. Delivering a speech is an esteemed honor; being intoxicated risks slurred speech, impaired performance, or forgetting your lines, which could embarrass both yourself and the newlyweds who entrusted you with this important role. Once your speech is done, take a deep breath, celebrate with a drink, and let the party begin! 

Be Yourself 

Remember that crafting your speech about the newlyweds is about sharing your genuine perspective, not putting on a show. Avoid the temptation to overload with jokes. Authenticity and a sincere focus on the couple will enhance your speech to its best form. 

Father of the Bride Speech at Hacienda De La Flores by Wedgewood Weddings

Writing a wedding speech is a beautiful opportunity to celebrate the love and happiness of the newlywed couple. Following these do's, don'ts, and tips, you can craft a heartfelt and memorable speech that honors the couple's journey while entertaining their guests. Remember to personalize your speech with cherished anecdotes, keep it concise and meaningful, and deliver it with poise and authenticity. Embrace this chance to uniquely commemorate the couple's joyous new chapter as partners for life. 

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How to Write Your Wedding Speech: Etiquette Tips and Wording Examples

How to write your wedding speech etiquette tips and wording examples

Writing and delivering your wedding speech can feel almost as nerve-wracking as sharing your vows! While your wedding speech is an amazing opportunity to give a special thanks to your loved ones, it can also be seriously daunting.

The good news? There are some super simple guidelines to follow when it comes to writing an engaging and memorable wedding speech, and it’s probably easier than you think. Keep reading for our top wedding speech tips, templates and wording examples to inspire you for your own big day.

how-to-write-your-wedding-speech:-etiquette-tips-and-wording-examples

Should You Give a Speech at Your Wedding?

You might be wondering if you really need to give a speech at your wedding in the first place. Isn’t that job reserved for your cheeky best man and proud parents?

With all of the craziness surrounding your wedding day, it can be tempting to leave all of the speeches up to your loved ones. But truthfully, we think a speech from the happy couple is a beautiful addition to any wedding reception.

Think about it like this. How many opportunities do you have to show your appreciation for all of your favourite people together in one place? Not to mention any guests who have made an effort to travel, help out with the wedding preparations, or simply support your relationship over the years. There’s bound to be some well-deserved words of thanks for the special people in your life, and a heartfelt toast is the perfect way to show your gratitude.

how-to-write-your-wedding-speech:-etiquette-tips-and-wording-examples

What Does a Bride or Groom’s Wedding Speech Need to Include?

There are a few essential elements to tick off throughout your wedding speech to ensure it’s a great one. Your wedding speech doesn’t have to be long (or boring!). It can be short and sweet, formal or informal, cheeky or playful. You can deliver your speech together with your partner, or say a few words individually – whatever feels right for you!

No matter which format you choose, it’s important to thank the right people, keep your guests engaged, and maybe even get them laughing. Keep the following guidelines in mind as you begin crafting your wedding speech:

  • A quick introduction. Whether it’s a formal welcome, or a funny joke to break the ice.
  • A special thank you to any guests who have travelled
  • A general thank you to everyone for attending
  • A special thank you to any loved ones who have helped you out with the wedding preparations (like your parents, bridal party or siblings)
  • How you met
  • The moment you realised they were “the one”
  • Your proposal story
  • Your funniest memory together
  • A memorable adventure shared
  • Words of affection. If you’re delivering your speeches individually, take this time to share a few heartfelt words of affection to your partner. You can talk about how much they mean to you, their best qualities, and your hopes and dreams for the future.
  • A toast. End your speech with a toast to your new partner – or if you’re delivering your speech together, a toast to all of your loved ones for being there.

how-to-write-your-wedding-speech:-etiquette-tips-and-wording-examples

Wedding Speech Wording Examples

Now that you know what needs to be included in your wedding speech, how do you pull it all together? Personally, we think the best wedding speeches are warm and light-hearted with a good dose of humour, while still being meaningful and sincere.

If you’re feeling stuck with writer’s block, draw some inspiration from our wedding speech templates below. We’ve included options that range from formal to cheeky to best suit the tone of your day!

The introduction:

“Hi everyone, and welcome to our wedding reception – it means the world to have you all here”

“Hi everyone – I guess it’s time for me to do this speech I scribbled down this morning over a glass of champagne!”

“Hi everyone. Before I go any further, I just wanted to make a quick toast to some really important people who I’m sure you’ll meet throughout the evening. Without them, honestly, none of this would be possible. Here’s to our bartenders!”

Words of appreciation:

“I want to first say a huge thank you to each and every one of you for being here. We feel incredibly grateful to have such an amazing group of friends and family, and it means the world to have all of our favourite people together in one place.

There are a few people in particular that deserve a special shout out. First, to our loved ones who have travelled interstate or overseas – [ make mention of guests who have travelled, or the different locations people have travelled from ]. We really appreciate you making the effort to join us – it wouldn’t be the same without you here!

I also wanted to say thank you to the people who have helped us plan this day, especially [ make mention of your bridal party members, parents, siblings or other helpers ]. We couldn’t have done this without your generosity and support.

And of course, to [ partner’s parents/family members ] who have always welcomed me with open arms. I feel very lucky to be joining such an amazing family today!”

how-to-write-your-wedding-speech:-etiquette-tips-and-wording-examples

Light-hearted anecdotes:

“It feels so surreal to be standing here at our wedding reception. It seems like only yesterday we [ share a funny anecdote about your first date, or the beginning of your relationship ]”

“I know that some of you might not remember how [ partner ] and I first met, and I feel like this is the perfect time to take a walk down memory lane – [ share a sweet memory or funny story about how you met ]”

When I first met [ partner ], I was instantly attracted to his rugged good looks and quiet confidence. Little did I know I was signing up to a lifetime of [ share a funny quirk, hobby or passion of your partner – for example, “failed cooking attempts and bad dad jokes”]

Where do I start with [ partner ]? They’re smart, good looking, kind, charming – sorry, [ partner ], I’m having trouble reading your handwriting. You’ll have to tell me the rest later.”

Words of affection:

“In all seriousness, I did want to say a few words to [ partner ]. You make me so happy, from the way you [ share something you love about your partner ] to the way you [ share some of your partner’s best qualities ]. Thank you for everything.”

“All jokes aside, I honestly don’t know where I would be without [ partner ]. Over the years, we’ve [ talk about your shared experiences, achievements and milestones ]. I can’t think of a better person to share the rest of my life with.”

“So with that being said, I’d like to raise a toast to the love of my life, my new [ husband/wife ]. Cheers!”

“So before we get back to the party, I want to raise a toast to my partner-in-crime, my best friend and my new [ husband/wife ]. Here’s to [ partner ]!”

“So now that the speeches are out of the way, let’s get back to the open bar! We love you all, and can’t wait to spend the rest of the night celebrating with you. We’d like to raise a toast to you guys, our favourite people on the planet. Thank you for being here!”

how-to-write-your-wedding-speech:-etiquette-tips-and-wording-examples

Wedding Speech Etiquette Tips

While the above templates and wording examples can be a great starting point, you have complete freedom to personalise your wedding speech however you like! Whether you want to keep things sweet and silly or romantic and heartfelt, your speech should reflect your personality and the relationship you share with your partner.

With that being said, there are a few etiquette tips to keep in mind for a well-received wedding speech:

  • If you and your partner are writing your speeches separately, be sure to agree on length and tone before you get started. You don’t want to plan a hilarious speech packed with jokes and funny anecdotes, only to have your partner deliver something deep and meaningful in return.
  • Don’t embarrass your partner! While playful jokes and funny stories are always a good idea, be mindful of where to draw the line.
  • Keep it short and sweet, especially if you have loved ones delivering their own speeches, too. Between 3-5 minutes is ideal, with 10 minutes being the absolute maximum.
  • You don’t need to go into specific detail when it comes to thanking your parents for any financial contributions. Talking about money during your wedding speech might feel a little awkward! Instead, make mention of their generosity and support instead.
  • Practice makes perfect! If the thought of delivering your wedding speech feels seriously daunting, be sure to practice your speech out loud before the day to boost your confidence. Try to memorise the most important elements of your speech until you feel comfortable, so you don’t have to rely solely on your notes.

Remember, it’s usually the thought of delivering your wedding speech that feels the most terrifying. Once you get started, you’ll find the nerves will quickly fade away. Simply keep these wedding speech guidelines in mind, speak from the heart, and you can’t go wrong. You’ve got this!

Need some help writing your vows, too? Check out our ultimate guide to writing your wedding vows here for some wording examples to get you started.

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How to Write a Wedding Speech (with Examples)

by Ryan Hart | Updated on September 22, 2023 | Post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Writing a wedding speech can be a nerve-wracking experience, especially if you’ve never given one before. You want to make sure you honor the couple, entertain the guests, and avoid any embarrassing mishaps.

But don’t worry, with a little guidance , you can write a memorable wedding speech that will leave everyone feeling touched and inspired.

In this article, we’ll provide you with a step-by-step guide on how to write a wedding speech, along with examples to help you get started.

Whether you’re the best man, maid of honor, or a close friend or family member, we’ve got you covered. We’ll cover everything from how to structure your speech, to what to include, and even tips on how to deliver it with confidence.

Person giving a wedding speech

What is a Wedding Speech?

A wedding speech is a way for family members and friends to honor the newly married couple, share their thoughts and memories, and wish them a happy future together.

It is a chance to express your gratitude for being part of their special day and to thank them for inviting you to share in their joy.

Wedding speeches are typically given at the rehearsal dinner , the day before the wedding, and toward the end of the reception dinner on the wedding day.

The best wedding speeches are heartfelt, sincere, and personal. They should reflect your relationship with the couple and your feelings towards them. A good wedding speech should be short, sweet, and to the point. It should not be too long, as it may become boring and lose the attention of the audience.

Knowing Your Role

When it comes to writing a wedding speech, it’s important to know your role in the wedding party. Here are some tips on how to approach writing your speech depending on your role:

Father of the Bride’s Speech

As the father of the bride , your speech should be heartfelt and emotional. Share stories about your daughter and the joy she has brought into your life. Welcome the groom into your family and express your love and support for the newlyweds.

Maid of Honor’s Speech

As the maid of honor, your speech should focus on the bride and your relationship with her. Share some funny stories or heartfelt moments that highlight her best qualities. Be sure to also thank the groom and his family for welcoming you into their lives.

Best Man’s Speech

As the best man, your speech should focus on the groom and your relationship with him. Share some funny anecdotes or stories that highlight his best qualities. Be sure to also thank the bride and her family for welcoming you into their lives.

Mother of the Bride’s Speech

As the mother of the bride, your speech should be heartfelt and emotional. Share stories about your daughter and the joy she has brought into your life. Welcome the groom into your family and express your love and support for the newlyweds.

Father of the Groom’s Speech

As the father of the groom, your speech should focus on the groom and your relationship with him. Share some funny anecdotes or stories that highlight his best qualities. Be sure to also thank the bride and her family for welcoming you into their lives.

Mother of the Groom’s Speech

As the mother of the groom, your speech should be heartfelt and emotional. Share stories about your son and the joy he has brought into your life. Welcome the bride into your family and express your love and support for the newlyweds.

Structuring Your Speech

When it comes to giving a wedding speech, structuring it properly is key. This will help you stay on track and deliver a memorable speech that hits all the right notes. Here are some tips on how to structure your wedding speech:

OpeningIntroduce yourself, your relationship to the couple, and thank them for inviting you.
BodyShare a story or anecdote about the couple, offer words of wisdom or advice, and give a toast.
ClosingEnd with a final thought or sentiment about the couple and thank them for including you in their special day.

The opening of your speech is crucial as it sets the tone for the rest of your speech. Start by introducing yourself and your relationship to the couple. You can also thank the couple for inviting you to be a part of their special day.

If you’re nervous, it’s okay to start with a joke or a light-hearted anecdote to break the ice. Just make sure it’s appropriate for the occasion and doesn’t offend anyone.

The body of your speech is where you can share your thoughts and feelings about the couple. This is where you can tell a story or anecdote about the couple that highlights their love for each other.

You can also offer some words of wisdom or advice for the couple as they embark on this new journey together. This can be a great opportunity to share a quote or a poem that resonates with you.

The closing of your speech should be short and sweet. You can end with a final thought or sentiment about the couple and their future together. You can also thank the couple and their families for including you in their special day.

If you’re giving a toast , make sure to raise your glass and offer a heartfelt congratulations to the couple.

Example Wedding Speeches

Maid of honor speech example:.

Hello, everyone! I’m beyond thrilled to be here today as the Maid of Honor for these two incredible people. You know, when [Bride’s Name] asked me to be her Maid of Honor, my first thought was, ‘Does she really know me? Is she sure about this?’ But here I am, and I couldn’t be happier!

[Bride’s Name] and I have shared so many laughs, tears, and unforgettable moments over the years. We’ve been through thick and thin together. And when she introduced us to [Groom’s Name], it was like the missing piece of the puzzle just clicked into place.

Now, [Groom’s Name], I have to say, you’ve really brought out the best in [Bride’s Name]. You’ve filled her life with so much love, laughter, and joy. And I can’t thank you enough for that.

To the newlyweds, may your love continue to grow stronger with each passing day. May your journey together be filled with adventure, kindness, and endless inside jokes that only you two understand. And may your love story be as beautiful and inspiring as the two of you are.

So let’s raise our glasses to [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], to love, laughter, and a lifetime of happiness! Cheers!"

Best Man Speech Example:

Hey, everyone, I’m honored to be up here as the Best Man for this fantastic couple. Now, when [Groom’s Name] asked me to be his Best Man, I was like, ‘Really? Me?’ But then I remembered all the adventures, mishaps, and laughter we’ve shared over the years, and I thought, ‘Yep, I’m the guy for this job!’

[Groom’s Name] and [Bride’s Name], you two are a perfect match. I’ve watched your love story unfold, and it’s been a privilege to witness the love and respect you have for each other.

[Groom’s Name], you’ve always been there for me through thick and thin, and I have no doubt you’ll be there for [Bride’s Name] in the same way. And [Bride’s Name], you’re not just gaining a husband today, you’re gaining the best partner in crime you could ever ask for.

So, here’s to [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], to a lifetime of adventure, love, and laughter. May your journey together be filled with joy, shared secrets, and lots and lots of dancing. Cheers!"

Best Friend Speech Example:

“Hello, everyone! Wow, what a beautiful day to celebrate the love between [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. I’m not the Maid of Honor or the Best Man, but I am a close friend, and I’ve been lucky enough to witness the magic of their love story from the beginning.

[Bride’s Name], we’ve been through so much together – from school crushes to college shenanigans. And when you introduced me to [Groom’s Name], I knew he was something special. He brings out the best in you, and together, you make an incredible team.

[Groom’s Name], you’re not just gaining a wife today; you’re gaining an amazing friend and confidant in [Bride’s Name]. You two complement each other in the most beautiful ways.

So, here’s to [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], to a love that’s as strong as it is genuine. May your journey together be filled with laughter, support, and all the adventures you can dream of. Cheers!”

Family Member Speech Example:

Good evening, everyone! My name is [Your Name], and I am [Your relation to the bride and groom]. I’m thrilled to be here tonight to celebrate the love and commitment of [Couple’s names].

When they asked me to give a speech tonight, I was a little nervous. I mean, what do you say about two people who are so perfect for each other? But then I remembered something that [Bride’s name] once told me: “ Love isn’t about being perfect , it’s about being perfectly imperfect together.”

And that’s exactly what these two are. They’re imperfect in all the right ways, and that’s what makes them so perfect for each other. So here’s to [Couple’s names], two imperfect people who are perfect for each other. Congratulations, you two!

Close Friend Speech Example:

Hello, everyone! My name is [Your Name], and I am [Your relation to the bride and groom]. I’m honored to be here tonight to celebrate the wedding of [Couple’s names].

When I first met [Bride’s name], I knew she was something special. And when she introduced me to [groom’s name], I knew he was the one for her. These two have been through thick and thin together, and they’ve always come out stronger on the other side.

And that’s what love is all about, isn’t it? It’s about being there for each other through the good times and the bad. So here’s to [Couple’s names], a couple who knows that love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a commitment.

Incorporating Personal Touches

When it comes to giving a wedding speech, it’s important to make it personal and meaningful. After all, you’re speaking in front of the couple’s nearest and dearest, and you want to make sure that your words come straight from the heart.

One way to do this is to incorporate personal touches into your speech. This can be anything from a funny story about the couple to a heartfelt message about your own relationship with them.

When choosing what to include in your speech, think about what makes the couple special. What are their unique qualities and what do you love about them? What are some of the key moments in their relationship that have brought them to this point?

Once you have some ideas, consider how you can weave them into your speech in a way that feels natural and authentic. Here are a few tips to get you started:

  • Keep it short and sweet: While it can be tempting to go on and on about how much you love the couple, it’s important to keep your speech concise. Aim for around 3-5 minutes, and focus on the most meaningful moments and messages.
  • Use specific examples: Instead of making general statements about the couple, try to use specific examples that illustrate their qualities and personalities. This will make your speech more engaging and memorable.
  • Get personal: Don’t be afraid to share your own experiences and feelings about the couple. Whether it’s a funny story about how you first met or a heartfelt message about what they mean to you, your personal touch will make your speech more meaningful.
  • Practice, practice, practice: Finally, make sure to practice your speech ahead of time. This will help you feel more confident and comfortable on the day, and ensure that your words come across as genuine and heartfelt.

Addressing the Audience

When it comes to giving a wedding speech, one of the most important things to keep in mind is your audience. After all, you are speaking to a room full of people who are there to celebrate the happy couple, so it’s important to make sure your speech is engaging, entertaining, and appropriate for the occasion.

First and foremost, you want to make sure your speech is inclusive of everyone in the audience.

While you may have a close relationship with the bride or groom, it’s important to remember that there are likely guests in attendance who may not know you or the couple as well. Make sure to introduce yourself and provide some context for your relationship with the couple.

It’s also important to consider the tone of your speech. While it’s okay to inject some humor and lightheartedness into your speech, you want to make sure it’s appropriate for the occasion.

Avoid making any jokes or comments that could be perceived as offensive or inappropriate.

If you’re addressing parents or family members in your speech, make sure to acknowledge their role in the couple’s lives and express your gratitude for their support.

Similarly, if you’re speaking as the best friend of the bride or groom, take some time to reflect on your friendship and share some heartfelt memories or anecdotes.

Keep in mind that you’re speaking to a room full of people who are there to celebrate the happy couple, so make sure your speech is a reflection of that joy and excitement.

Delivering the Speech

Now that you’ve written your wedding speech, it’s time to deliver it. Public speaking can be nerve-wracking, but with a little preparation, you’ll be able to deliver your speech with confidence. Here are some tips to help you deliver your speech like a pro:

  • Practice, practice, practice. Rehearsing your speech will help you feel more comfortable with the material and reduce your nervousness. Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend to get feedback on your delivery.
  • Take deep breaths. If you feel nervous before your speech, take a few deep breaths to calm your nerves. This will help you relax and deliver your speech more effectively.
  • Speak slowly and clearly. When you’re nervous, it’s easy to speak too quickly or mumble your words. Make a conscious effort to speak slowly and clearly so that everyone can hear you.
  • Make eye contact. Look at your audience as you deliver your speech. This will help you connect with them and keep their attention.
  • Use body language. Gesturing and moving around can help you convey your message more effectively. Just be sure to avoid any distracting movements.
  • Don’t be afraid to pause. If you need a moment to collect your thoughts or take a breath, don’t be afraid to pause. This will help you deliver your speech more effectively and give your audience time to absorb your message.

With a little preparation and practice, you’ll be able to deliver a wedding speech that will be remembered for years to come.

Dealing with Nervousness

It’s completely normal to experience nervousness when giving a wedding speech. After all, you want to do your best and make a positive impact on the happy couple and their guests. Here are a few tips to help you manage your nerves and deliver a memorable speech:

  • Practice, practice, practice : The more you practice your speech, the more comfortable you’ll feel delivering it. Practice in front of a mirror, with friends or family, or even record yourself and listen back to it.
  • Focus on the positive : Instead of dwelling on your nerves, focus on the positive aspects of the experience. You have the opportunity to share your love and well-wishes with the couple, and that’s something to be proud of.
  • Breathe deeply : Deep breathing can help calm your nerves and give you the energy you need to deliver your speech. Take a few deep breaths before you begin, and continue to breathe deeply throughout your speech.
  • Visualize success : Visualize yourself delivering a successful speech. Imagine the audience laughing at your jokes, nodding in agreement with your sentiments, and giving you a standing ovation at the end.
  • Project confidence : Even if you don’t feel confident, projecting confidence through your body language can help you appear more confident to your audience. Stand up straight, make eye contact, and speak clearly and slowly.

By following these tips, you can overcome your nervousness and deliver a wedding speech that you and the happy couple will remember for years to come.

Tips for a Memorable Speech

Writing a wedding speech can be intimidating, but with the right tips and tricks, you can deliver a memorable speech that will leave a lasting impression on the newlyweds and guests. Here are some tips to help you get started:

Tell the Couple’s Story

The most memorable speeches are the ones that tell a story. Start by brainstorming some memories or anecdotes about the couple that you can weave into your speech.

Think about the moments that defined their relationship, the challenges they’ve overcome, and the things that make them unique. By sharing these details with the audience, you’ll create a speech that feels personal and heartfelt.

Keep it Short and Sweet

While it’s tempting to share every detail about the couple, it’s important to keep your speech short and sweet. Aim for a speech that’s no longer than five minutes. This will give you enough time to share your message without losing the audience’s attention.

Practice Makes Perfect

The key to delivering a great speech is practice. Start by writing down your speech and then practice delivering it in front of a mirror or with a friend. This will help you get comfortable with the material and ensure that you’re able to deliver it confidently on the big day.

Focus on Friendship and Happiness

Weddings are all about celebrating love, friendship, and happiness. Make sure your speech reflects these themes by focusing on the positive aspects of the couple’s relationship.

Share stories that highlight their love for each other, their friendship, and the happiness they bring to each other’s lives.

Use Humor Wisely

Humor can be a great way to lighten the mood and engage the audience, but use it wisely. Make sure your jokes are appropriate for the occasion and that they don’t overshadow the message of your speech. Remember, the goal is to celebrate the couple and their love, not to steal the show.

Now that you’ve learned the basics of writing a wedding speech, it’s a good idea to read some real speeches to see how it all comes together.

Look for examples of speeches online or in books. Watching or reading other people’s speeches can give you inspiration and a better understanding of how to make your speech unique and special.

You might also want to check out books or articles about public speaking and storytelling, as they can help you improve your delivery and engagement skills.

And remember, it’s always a good idea to review some tips on wedding etiquette to make sure your speech is respectful and fitting for the occasion.

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How to Write a Wedding Speech

Last Updated: March 19, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Jenny Yi . Jenny Yi is the Founder of Chloe+Mint, an award-winning full service event planning company that specializes in wedding planning, design and floral design. Jenny has been in the industry for over 5 years, and also works closely with notable brands and celebrities on branding and events. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 605,816 times.

For most people, their wedding day will be among the most important days of their lives. As such, it is customary for a close friend or loved one to deliver a speech congratulating the newlyweds on their union. This can be a nerve-wracking prospect if you’re the one called upon to give a speech in front of a big, expectant crowd. As the speechwriter, it will pay off to make sure that you’re organized, keep it concise and practice extensively beforehand.

Things You Should Know

Professional wedding planner Jenny Yi says the wedding speech should be “impactful, short, and sweet.” Explain how you know the bride and groom, share a quick backstory on how they met, then wish them well as a couple.

Sample Speeches

how to deliver a good wedding speech

Writing a Meaningful Speech

Step 1 Introduce yourself to the crowd.

  • The best man and maid of honor are usually each asked to make a short speech on behalf of the wedding party. After that, the microphone is sometimes turned over to whoever would like to say a few words.
  • Saying your name and briefly summarizing your history with the bride or groom will be enough. Don’t talk about yourself too much. Remember, the focus of your speech is the married couple.

Step 2 Open with a joke.

  • Use jokes judiciously to break the initial tension and keep the crowd relaxed. Try not to let your speech turn into a stand up comedy routine.
  • Keep your humorous stories and remarks appropriate. There will be people of all ages in your audience, including children.
  • Funny stories might include a funny story about the bride and groom's meeting, or an anecdote about one of them as a child.

Step 3 Share memories of the bride and groom.

  • Sharing unique memories or stories is much more effective than simply complimenting the bride or groom because it is a more personal touch.

Step 4 Offer advice or well-wishes for the future.

  • If you decide to use a quote for this segment of the speech, make sure it is short, relevant and not a cliche.

Step 5 Thank everyone in attendance.

  • Acknowledging the people who helped make the wedding festivities possible will make you appear humble, as well as making them feel appreciated.
  • Express your gratitude in a couple sentences. There’s no need to go on and on thanking every person individually by name.

Making Sure You're Prepared

Step 1 Write the speech well in advance.

  • Treat your speech like you would a school assignment. Compose several drafts, check it for errors and have a friend proofread it to make sure it sounds good.

Step 2 Know when you’re expect to deliver the speech.

  • Familiarize yourself with the order of presentation if multiple speeches are to be given.
  • Don’t spend the entire ceremony fretting over your speech. If you’re sufficiently prepared, you won’t need to give it a second thought until it’s time for you to deliver it.

Step 3 Practice, practice, practice.

  • Know your speech word for word, but try not to sound like you’re simply reciting it from memory. Pace yourself and give every passage emphasis, emotion and clarity.

Step 4 Bring your notes with you.

  • Put your entire speech on a couple note cards rather than a several large sheets of paper. Not only will this look better, it will help you keep your speech at the appropriate length.
  • Only look at your notes if you draw a blank or forget the next part. This will allow you to keep your eyes up and engage your audience. Even the most riveting speech will be a bore if the person giving it is reading off a note card the whole time.

Giving the Speech

Step 1 Maintain your composure.

  • Take a few slow, deep breaths. Think about what you’re saying and shut out all other distractions. Imagine that you’re giving your speech to one person instead of a room full of people.
  • Have a drink or two if it helps your nerves. Just don’t have too many—you want to be focused and clear-headed when it’s time for you to take the floor.

Step 2 Keep it short and sweet.

  • It’s perfectly okay to give a short speech. Simply say a few kind words, raise a toast and hand back the microphone.
  • Speak slowly and deliberately. It’s easy to start chattering too fast when you’re nervous. By talking slower than you feel like you need to, you’ll probably be going at just the right speed.
  • People who are underprepared or extremely anxious tend to talk aimlessly. Avoid this by sticking to what you’ve written and look to the crowd for cues about when their attention is evaporating.

Step 3 Be sincere.

  • Take a moment to speak to the bride and/or groom directly.
  • It’s normal to get a little choked up! As long as you can finish your speech, there’s no need to worry. It may even be flattering, as it will show the people you’re talking about how much you truly care.

Step 4 Finish with a toast.

  • It’s customary for the best man or groomsmen to toast the bride, and the maid of honor to toast the groom.

Expert Q&A

Jenny Yi

  • Keep quotes to a minimum, as other people's words can distract from what you're trying to say yourself. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 1
  • If you're stumped on how your speech should flow, approach it the way you would a story: give it a beginning, middle and end. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 1
  • Ask an honest, objective friend to give you feedback on your speech after you've finished writing it. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

how to deliver a good wedding speech

  • Never use a premade template you find on the internet to write a wedding speech. Your speech should be a product of your own unique thoughts, feelings and experiences. Thanks Helpful 6 Not Helpful 1
  • Don't drink too much before delivering your speech. Thanks Helpful 5 Not Helpful 1
  • Leave out especially embarrassing or offensive anecdotes. These are usually considered bad form. You're supposed to be honoring the married couple, not getting a laugh at their expense. Thanks Helpful 6 Not Helpful 3

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Write a Speech Introducing Yourself

  • ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2110745/Lost-words-Top-tips-write-winning-wedding-speech-deliver-like-pro.html
  • ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-toasting-tips-for-the-maid-of-honor
  • ↑ https://www.presentationmagazine.com/the-structure-and-etiquette-of-wedding-speeches-1041.htm
  • ↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/07/22/how-to-write-deliver-good-best-man-speech/
  • ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-toasting-tips-for-the-maid-of-honor/
  • ↑ https://finley-h.schools.nsw.gov.au/content/dam/doe/sws/schools/f/finley-h/localcontent/how_to_write_a_speech.pdf
  • ↑ https://mediacenter.toastmasters.org/2014-07-01-10-Tips-for-the-Perfect-Wedding-Toast

About This Article

Jenny Yi

To write a wedding speech, start by introducing yourself and explaining how you know the bride and groom. Then, share some fond memories, like stories from when you were kids or how you met. Next, offer well-wishes to the bride and groom, such as wishing them health, happiness, and prosperity. Alternatively, try opening with a joke or funny anecdote, but make sure that your remarks are appropriate for everyone in attendance. Finally, briefly thank everyone for coming and for making the celebration possible. For tips on how to memorize your speech so that it doesn’t sound rehearsed, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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how to deliver a good wedding speech

How to Give A Pitch-Perfect Wedding Speech

  • The Speaker Lab
  • April 15, 2024

Table of Contents

Being chosen to deliver a wedding speech is an honor, yet crafting that perfect blend of humor, sentimentality, and sincerity is no small feat. Where do you even start?

Don’t worry—that’s where we come in. We’ll walk you through the essentials for creating a memorable toast, such as structuring your thoughts effectively, personalizing your message to strike a chord with the couple and their guests, and mastering delivery techniques that captivate. Armed with these insights—plus rehearsal tactics from our toolkit— you’ll ace that speech.

Crafting the Perfect Wedding Speech

Picture this: The clinking glasses pause, all eyes turn to you, and a hush falls over the room. It’s your moment to deliver a wedding speech that will be remembered long after the last dance. But where do you start?

Easy—crafting a speech for such an occasion requires storytelling, well-structured opening and closing remarks, and a personal touch. Let’s take a look.

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The Art of Storytelling in Wedding Speeches

Think about the last time a story truly captivated you. It might have been around a campfire, or when an old friend shared a memory of theirs over coffee. Now imagine bringing that same magic to a wedding speech.

Weaving Personal Anecdotes into Your Narrative

Tapping into the art of storytelling can transform your wedding speech from standard fare to something extraordinary. Begin by picking out moments with the couple that spark emotion and reveal their character. These are your gold nuggets, the stories that will resonate with guests because they paint a vivid picture of love and companionship.

Remember though, it’s not just what you say; it’s how you say it. When crafting stories for your speech, consider the tips on effective storytelling techniques offered by Toastmasters International. By heeding their advice, your words will pull the audience deeper into the world you’re painting for them.

Crafting Memorable Characters within Your Stories

Your anecdotes should introduce characters—not just any characters but real people whose quirks and qualities add depth to your narrative. Perhaps it’s Aunt Mabel’s legendary dance moves or how Mike always burns the barbecue ribs at family gatherings. These details create relatable scenes that bring smiles and nods from listeners.

To do this right, focus on specifics rather than generalities; give life to those involved by describing actions instead of listing traits.

Structuring Your Story for Maximum Impact

A great story has rhythm—a beginning that draws listeners in, a middle filled with tension or humor (sometimes both), and an end that ties everything together beautifully. Assemble your thoughts like building blocks: set up expectations early on, then lead up to pivotal moments before concluding gracefully.

Beyond content is pacing—how quickly one part of your speech shifts to another matters too. Practice varying speeds during different parts so every sentiment lands perfectly whether poignant silence or bursts of laughter are called for.

Mastering the Opening and Closing Remarks

Every wedding speech hinges on the opening and closing remarks. These moments are your first and last chances to connect with your audience, making them crucial for leaving a lasting impression.

The First Impression: Nailing Your Opener

The key to a great start is hooking your listeners from the get-go. Think of it like launching a rocket—your opener should have enough thrust to take off successfully. Begin with something relatable; perhaps an anecdote or reference that resonates universally, yet feels personal to the couple’s journey together.

A dash of humor can work wonders, but keep it tasteful. A well-placed joke not only eases any nerves you might have but also warms up the crowd for what’s ahead.

Closing With Impact: Ending On A High Note

When ending your speech, aim for emotional resonance. This could be through heartfelt wishes, reflective wisdom about love and companionship, or even an inspiring quote that encapsulates the essence of the day.

To wrap things up memorably, consider bringing your speech full circle by tying back into your opening remark—a technique often used by seasoned speakers to create cohesiveness in their delivery.

Pacing the Wedding Speech

Pacing is paramount when delivering both openers and closers—you want neither rush nor drag out these critical segments of your speech. Rehearsing beforehand helps fine-tune this timing, especially if you get nervous when speaking publicly. Also remember brevity is bliss; if your speech feels like it’s dragging, consider what parts can be cut or rearranged.

Personalizing Your Wedding Speech

Your wedding speech is not just another toast. If you’ve been asked to give a speech, it’s because of your bond with the couple, so your words should reflect that relationship in a personal way. Remember, authenticity wins over the crowd more than any generic well-wishing could ever do.

Tapping into Shared Memories

Dig deep into your shared history with the couple to find insightful tidbits about their strengths or personalities. A story that captures their essence will not only tug at heartstrings but also bring laughter and nods of recognition from those who know them best.

Alternatively (or perhaps additionally), pick an anecdote that encapsulates the couple’s spirit or reflects what you admire about them. Maybe it’s how they support each other through thick and thin or how their love seems to make even mundane moments magical.

Expressing Genuine Emotions

The strongest messages spring from sincerity. Speak from the heart about what this day means to you and why seeing these two individuals unite fills you with joy. Don’t shy away from showing vulnerability – true feelings are magnetic in public speaking.

If humor is part of your relationship, feel free to illustrate that in your speech, but remember to keep it respectful. Crafting jokes that land without offending anyone is an art worth mastering for occasions like these.

Incorporating Unique Qualities

No one else shares quite the same perspective on the bride and groom as you do, so use this to your advantage. Highlight qualities others may not have noticed, sharing insights only someone close would recognize. A fondness for charity work or a passion for adventure might be perfect examples here.

This approach helps paint a complete picture of who they are individually and together, ensuring guests leave feeling like they’ve gotten closer too.

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Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety

Picture this: your palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy. It’s not just an Eminem lyric—it’s the all-too-familiar feeling of public speaking jitters before giving a wedding speech. But fear not! There are proven strategies to beat those butterflies and deliver a speech that’ll be remembered for all the right reasons.

Preparation is Your Best Friend

The more you prepare, the less likely you’ll feel like bailing when it’s showtime. Start by outlining your main points and then flesh them out until your lines sound natural—not recited. After all, no one wants to listen to a robot-like monotone at a wedding. Next up? Get feedback from friends or family who can tell you honestly where you shine and where you might need some polish.

Finally, familiarize yourself with speaking skills techniques like body language . Learning how pauses can emphasize points or how varying vocal tones keeps listeners hooked and could help relieve your nerves as you gain confidence.

Mind Over Matter Mindset Shifts

When it comes to conquering your fear of public speaking , one of the most important steps is adopting positive affirmations. You probably have negative thoughts running through your head already, and these guys are confidence killers. To get the upper hand, you need to flip the script in your head and start training yourself to think more positively.

A change in perspective helps kickstart this process. Remember why people have gathered: love and celebration—not critique sessions over speeches. You’re part of making someone’s special day even brighter, which is pretty awesome when you think about it. So talk kindly to yourself in the days leading up to the big event—you might be surprised by how much of a difference it makes!

Breathing Exercises Are Not Just Hot Air

Last but certainly not least, let’s talk breathing exercises. Although it might sound like cliché advice, deep breaths actually go a long way towards calming down frantic nerve cells firing off SOS signals before your public speaking engagements. Simply inhale slowly through the nose for four counts, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. This is called the 4-7-8 breathing technique , and it helps release tensions in your body. Once you’re calm and collected, you’ll be ready to stand and deliver, no problem.

Etiquette and Timing Considerations

If you’re gearing up to give a wedding speech, remember it’s not just about what you say; it’s also about when and how long you speak. Think of the reception as prime time television, and your speech is the headline act—timing is everything.

Respecting The Schedule

You’ve got a golden window to capture attention without stealing the spotlight for too long. Weddings are tight ships, with caterers, DJs, and photographers all working on a set schedule. Find out from the couple or planner exactly when your moment will be so that you can plan accordingly.

A pro tip? Sync up with other speakers before the big day in order to make sure no one hogs the mic for an eternity. It shows respect for everyone’s time, including yours.

The Ideal Speech Length

No one likes a marathon session at a wedding, especially during speeches. A good rule of thumb? Aim for five minutes max. That’s enough time to tell your hilarious story without guests checking their watches.

To keep things short but sweet, crafting your message around key points is essential rather than meandering through memories better suited for another occasion.

Navigating Cultural Nuances

Cultural expectations vary widely and it pays off big-time to know these nuances beforehand because they can affect timing too. Some cultures love lengthy tributes; others expect succinct sentiments. When in doubt, do some digging on traditions, or simply ask someone who knows the ropes.

Remember that reading the room isn’t just smart—it’s etiquette 101.

Incorporating Quotes and Readings into Your Wedding Speech

Choosing the right quotes and readings for your wedding speech can be like finding the perfect spices for a meal—they enhance flavors and add complexity. When you’re up there delivering your wedding speech, dropping in a line from Rumi or Shakespeare isn’t just about showing off your literary chops. It’s about connecting deeper with the hearts of everyone present.

To start, think about what resonates with you and the couple. Choose a quote that mirrors their relationship or adds a layer of intimacy to your speech that generic advice can’t match. If the couple bonded over “The Lord of the Rings,” slip in something from Tolkien that speaks to companionship on great journeys. Or perhaps they share a love for music? Lyrics from their favorite song could strike all the right chords.

The key is context—make sure it fits snugly into your message without feeling forced. You don’t want guests scratching their heads wondering how Gandalf relates to this matrimony. So weave these words carefully into personal stories or themes throughout your toast; let them illuminate rather than overshadow.

Selecting Meaningful Passages

Picking passages doesn’t have to feel like searching for a needle in a haystack either—you’ve got more resources at hand than ever before. Look through books on love and marriage, seek out famous speeches, or even explore poetry websites dedicated solely to verses on love ( Poetry Foundation , we’re looking at you).

If you find something that makes you feel strongly when reading it aloud during practice runs—that’s usually gold. Just avoid clichés, unless you can put a fresh spin on one.

Making It Personal

Writing your own words shows genuine care and creates a personal touch that can resonate deeply with the audience. Make sure what you write is clear and easy to understand, because this will help it strike a chord more than anything overly complex or obscure ever could.

Rehearsal Techniques for a Flawless Delivery

Perfecting your wedding speech is like choreographing a dance; every step, turn, and pause needs practice to look effortless. Rehearsing isn’t just about getting the words right—it’s about making them feel natural.

Practice Methods That Work Wonders

Mirror work can be surprisingly effective. Stand in front of a mirror and deliver your speech. Watch for any awkward gestures or facial expressions—these are tell-tale signs you’re not yet comfortable with the material. The goal here is to sync what you say with how you say it so that each word matches your emotions and body language.

Gathering Constructive Feedback

Audience simulation takes things up a notch. Gather some friends who’ll give honest feedback—not just empty praise—and pretend they’re the wedding guests. This mini-audience will help acclimate you to speaking in front of people, which can do wonders for calming those jitters on the big day.

You might also consider recording yourself—a smartphone will do just fine here—and then reviewing the playback critically but kindly, as if helping out a friend rather than critiquing an enemy.

The beauty of these rehearsal techniques lies in their simplicity and effectiveness: no fancy equipment needed, just time-honored methods bolstered by genuine feedback that pushes you towards delivering that flawless wedding speech we all aim for.

FAQs on Wedding Speeches

What do you say in a wedding speech.

Highlight fond memories, express heartfelt wishes for the couple’s future, and sprinkle in humor to keep it light.

What is a good speech to give at a wedding?

A good wedding speech balances emotion with wit, shares personal stories, and celebrates the couple’s journey together.

What is an example of a short wedding speech?

“To Jane and John: Your love inspires. May your days be filled with joy. Here’s to new beginnings.”

What do you say in your own wedding speech?

Talk about your partner’s impact on your life, share aspirations for what lies ahead, and thank everyone involved.

Delivering a wedding speech is an art. To connect with your audience, tell a story and personalize your message. After all, it’s your connection to the couple that resonates most deeply.

Feeling anxious about your speech? Tackle nerves head-on by preparing and practicing relentlessly. This calms jitters and sharpens delivery.

When the big day comes, mind your manners with timing and etiquette. Also consider employing thoughtful quotes in your speech—they enrich narratives when chosen well. Finally, rehearse like it’s showtime already;  get feedback to smooth out those edges for seamless execution on the big day.

It’s time to get out there and deliver a wedding speech that your friends and more importantly, the bride and groom, will love!

  • Last Updated: April 11, 2024

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How to Write a Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide

how to deliver a good wedding speech

It’s been said that a successful wedding speech should make the guests laugh and cry in equal measure, which is what makes the best ones so powerful. It also explains why more than half of wedding goers cite the speeches as the most memorable part of the day and nine out of ten people find themselves talking about the speeches long after the bride and groom have headed off on their honeymoon.

It’s not surprising, then, that those members of the wedding party finding themselves with a speech to prepare (traditionally this would be the groom, the best man or woman and the father of the bride, but of course there are no set rules) might feel more than a little bit nervous about the whole thing. 

So, if you’re about to embark on writing a wedding speech for a member of your family or a friend, let’s look at some of the top tips and preparation to make sure the guests at the wedding are talking about it afterwards for all the right reasons.

How to write a wedding speech

Start writing your wedding speech by outlining the main ideas and getting a few notes down on paper – this is only your first draft, no one ever needs to see it.

Jot down what the bride or groom means to you. What is it you love about them and what do you wish for them in the future? While it may feel a bit strange at first, it’s connecting with these deeper thoughts and feelings and opening yourself up to being authentic and honest that will bring out your raw emotion, and in turn genuinely move your audience. Put simply, it’s what gets the tears and laughter flowing. It takes courage to go deep, but it pays off. Read our tips on how to become a more courageous communicator .

You offer a unique insight into your friend or loved one’s life and what has brought them to where they are today. Whether this is funny, thoughtful or emotional, it is this insight that adds the ‘spice’ to your wedding speech and makes it special. We talk about the importance of ‘spice’ in the recipe for writing a perfect speech .

Remember, you were chosen to do this because of the special part you play in the bride or groom’s life. The main thing is to make your wedding speech memorable for all the right reasons.

ultimate guide to wedding speech

What should you say in a wedding speech?

When you’re pulling together your speech, there's a certain etiquette you might want to be aware of. Make sure that you make it inclusive for everyone in the room, whether they’re great aunt Margaret who the groom only sees once a year at Christmas, friends from way back when, or work colleagues who might have only been around for a few years. Telling very specific jokes about things that happened at university, for example, could risk a rowdy response from one corner of the room while everyone else is in danger of feeling alienated and left in the dark.

Instead put the feelers out for stories and anecdotes from family and friends that have been around during different periods of the bride or groom’s life, adding them to your own. The next important stage is to look for patterns in the stories and try to weave them together to make it into one succinct narrative. That is how you will get the entire room engaged and feeling included.

Find out what they were like as a child, for example, and see if you can find instances where those features or quirks have reappeared later in life. After all, we don’t change that much – many features of our personality are set in childhood and can be seen influencing everything we do. Use this as the core of the tale you choose to tell and this weaving of traits from childhood to adulthood is ripe for comedic observations – so this is a particularly good approach if the onus is on you to get the laughs.

We’ll look at some specifics depending on the role you’re playing, but never stray away from the most important goal of the speech: to make the bride and groom’s special day even more special. Check back in on this regularly throughout the process of preparing your speech. Don’t get carried away looking for comedy gold at the expense of your loved one’s pride .

If in doubt, share your proposed speech with a trusted friend prior to the wedding day to get a second opinion on its appropriateness. A second or even third pair of eyes is always useful when writing a speech. 

tips-for-father-of-bride-wedding-speech

Tips for the father of the bride 

Your job as the father (or indeed mother) of the bride is to welcome everyone and thank them for joining the celebrations, particularly mentioning those who have travelled from far away - this is when a list comes in handy - no one wants to feel like they've been forgotten. You can also mention loved ones who have can't be there today and those who have sadly passed away but who are still at the wedding in spirit, and no doubt an important part of the special day. 

You should make reference to the couple as well as the parents of the groom, but without making it feel like an impersonal box-ticking exercise. Try to find something personal to say. Perhaps mention the things you’ve found in common or the friendship that’s developing. This all adds to the feeling of warmth and the joining of families.

But remember, the majority of your speech must be reserved for the star of the show – your daughter - and it’s down to you to find some beautiful words to share about her. Talk about her as a little girl and the woman she has become. What are the things that make her special in your eyes? What stories can you share that highlight these? Pick the ones you know will get the rest of the room nodding along in agreement or laughing out loud.

Next say something about your new son or daughter-in-law. Be positive and offer your thoughts on them as a couple. And don’t forget the mother (or father) of the bride. Even if you are no longer together, this is an important day for them and one for which you must put differences aside, whatever they may be.

And finally, close with something profound . Forget the audience, this is a moment that your daughter will remember forever, so a great time to say, from the heart, what she means to you.

Of course, there may be a father of the groom speech too. Prince Charles left barely a dry eye in the room during Harry and Meghan's wedding, when he told his son how proud he was of the incredible man he had grown into: “My darling old Harry, I’m so happy for you."

Final tip for father of the bride: Avoid marital advice – it never goes down well!

wedding speech tips for best man or woman

Tips for the best man or woman

Pressure is often worse for the best man's (or maid of honour's) wedding speech as essentially their job is to be funny and creative. So ease yourself in gently with a straightforward opening. Talk about how the wedding day has been great and compliment the bride and the bridesmaids.

Then it’s time to talk about the bride or groom. To help you structure it, take note of the ‘what to include in a wedding speech’ section above and try to tell one cohesive story that draws everyone in. Your job is to take the audience on a journey from the child they once were to the incredible grown-up they’ve become.

The best man or woman’s speech is often humorous and some slightly ‘naughty’ stories are expected. But it’s important not to go overboard with this. Be respectful of who is in the audience and don't make people feel uncomfortable - including great aunt Margaret.

Be aware that some of the more raucous stags and hens in the crowd might be keen to heckle you and put you off your game. Avoid this by reading our tips on how to handle these disruptions with ease and grace.

Another thing to avoid is mentioning exes - this is not a time for people to be thinking of either the bride or groom with anyone other than the person they’ve just married. Anything that paints either one of them in a genuinely negative or shameful light should also be avoided.

Close with a last summing up line and a toast to the happy couple - a finishing thought to wrap up your wedding speech like an authentic ribbon.

wedding speech tips for groom

Tips for the groom

As the groom, you have it fairly easy when it comes to the speech. You don’t need to make anyone laugh and you can keep it simple, but it’s still just as important to plan what you’re going to say.

One of the biggest internet sensations of our time was when McFly's Tom Fletcher performed his outstanding wedding speech in a beautiful song to his wife Giovanna Fletcher - you can watch it here . 

Start with an icebreaker, then thank your new father-in-law and your parents and say something complimentary about them. Don’t be tempted to go in with the mother-in-law jokes – this definitely isn’t the time.

Next, the most important bit - an ode to your new wife. This is where you get to really open your heart and show those friends and family members gathered exactly how much she means to you. After all, that is the point of a wedding - to declare your commitment in front of witnesses.

Remember, your audience - including your bride - want real emotion. That doesn’t mean you have to be someone you’re not, but do dig deep to find the truth of how you feel and don’t be afraid to share it. Think about what made you fall in love with her and what you’re most looking forward to in your future.

Close simply with a final toast that makes all the relevant people - your bride, her bridesmaids and the wedding guests - feel special, and sets everyone up to party the rest of the night away.

how to deliver a wedding speech

How to deliver a wedding speech like you’ve been public speaking for years

Of course, giving a wedding speech isn’t just about saying the right thing. It’s about delivering it in the right way. And if you’re not used to public speaking or don't consider presentation skills to be high on your skills list, that can be utterly terrifying. Most of us are not natural or practised public speakers. And yet when you're given the honour of making a wedding speech, you're suddenly expected to engage hundreds of listeners and do eloquent and poetic justice to your loved ones. It's worth remembering that even the most well known public speakers were not born naturals. Even TED speakers get trained in how to speak so that people want to listen. So don't be discouraged, we've got five simple and actionable tips to help you prepare a good wedding speech:

1. Use notes where you need them

Very few people are able to speak completely without notes, unless they’ve had many years of experience in front of an audience. So if you don’t feel inclined to learn your wedding speech by heart, then don’t – it’s not worth the risk of floundering or forgetting. Have a read of our tips for using notes when talking to an audience . In summary though, your goal is to connect with your audience, so if you plan to use notes, make sure they don’t get in the way of you sounding natural. If possible, use cue cards rather than verbatim notes. Cue cards give you a prompt for each section of the speech and help you remember the punchline of jokes.

But if you’re simply feeling too nervous and are worried you won’t remember what you need to say, then, in the case of a wedding speech, simply read it off the page. Just remember to include plenty of pauses for applause and laughter, and to give ample eye contact . Do that and you can still be absolutely brilliant.

To prepare your notes in such a way that they give you the best possible chance of connecting with your audience, use a large font with separate paragraphs. Highlight key words and any punchlines so you can see at a glance where you’re going with your ideas. You'll learn more about how to do this in our bespoke wedding speech course package . 

how to deliver wedding speech

2. Don’t ignore your audience

Delivering a speech should never be simply reading from a piece of paper. Regardless of your use of notes, make sure you take your time. Make eye contact to help deliver your message. Particularly if you mention a group of people in the room – look towards them and engage directly. If you make a joke, allow time for laughter to die down and smile in appreciation. There is no need to rush, the disco will wait.

3. Use body gestures to emphasise your wedding speech

Open yourself up to your audience by keeping your stance relaxed and your arms open. Use your hands to emphasise key points if you can. Even if you are holding notes, try not to let that interfere with movement. Using gestures actually helps to relax your mind and body. Take a look at these tips to help you overcome presentation nerves.

4. Project your voice

You might want to consider borrowing some tools to warm up your voice like a professional. Make sure you’re heard by choosing someone in the middle row and speaking to them. ‘Intend’ your voice. Speak more slowly and clearly than you otherwise would and pause in between sentences to allow your audience to digest your message. And we have plenty of tips to help you to practice speaking more eloquently.  

5. Things to avoid in a wedding speech

Check back in on that goal to make the bride and groom’s special day even more special and avoid anything that is likely to go against this.

Don’t drink too much or swear too much. Don’t make sexual innuendos or references to exes. Try to avoid cruel or insulting remarks or stories that are liable to make anyone look bad. Stay positive in the stories you choose and in all things build up your loved one so that they can look back on the memories of your speech with a smile.

Happily ever after...

What’s the most important thing to portray in a great wedding speech? Do your best to deliver a speech that is authentic and shows your love for the couple and your determination for them to enjoy their day. That way you can avoid contributing to the statistic that 50% of wedding guests say a bad wedding speech almost ruined the day. Practice makes perfect, so don't leave wedding speech planning until the last minute if you're nervous. 

Good luck - remember that you’re among friends, they want you to do well and, even if you do slip up, take it in your stride, make a joke out of it if you can and then hit the bar! 

"My wedding speech went off very well, and I felt good about it as I spoke. So a big thank you to you for all your help. Your training made a big difference. That leaves two daughters not yet married, with one looking likely so I may well be back for more training!" - Charles B, Wedding Speech Coaching client

Would you like some 1-on-1 professional help with your speech for an upcoming wedding? Get in touch to find out about our Wedding Speech Coaching course .

If you enjoyed our wedding speech tips and what to find out more, Book a Free Discovery Call to discuss how we can tailor our communication courses to suit your needs. 

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Wedding Speeches: How to Write and Deliver a Memorable Toast

how to deliver a good wedding speech

Wedding speeches are an important tradition that adds a personal touch to the wedding celebration. They allow loved ones to share their feelings and memories, express gratitude, and wish the newlyweds a lifetime of happiness. However, with the rising trend of online marriages due to the ongoing pandemic, wedding speeches have taken on a new form. Online marriages refer to weddings that take place virtually, with the couple and their guests participating from different locations through video conferencing platforms. 

In this post, we will discuss how to write and deliver a memorable toast, both for in-person and virtual weddings.

Who gives speeches at a wedding?

At a traditional wedding, certain people are expected to give speeches. These people include the father of the bride, the best man, and the maid of honor. 

Here is a breakdown of the traditional roles of speech givers at a wedding:

  • Father of the Bride: This speech is typically the first one given, and it sets the tone for the rest of the speeches. The father of the bride welcomes the guests, thanks them for coming, and talks about his daughter and his relationship with her. He will usually end the speech by toasting the newlyweds.
  • Groom: The groom will usually give a speech after the father of the bride. He thanks everyone for coming, talks about his bride and their relationship, and thanks her parents for their support. He will usually end the speech by toasting his bride.
  • Best Man: The best man is responsible for giving the final speech of the night. He will typically start by thanking the groom for choosing him as his best man. He will then share stories about the groom, including some embarrassing ones, and end by toasting the newlyweds.
  • Maid of Honor: The maid of honor will typically give a speech after the groom. She will thank the bride for choosing her as her maid of honor, share stories about the bride, and offer advice for a happy marriage. She will also usually end by toasting the newlyweds.

However, more modern variations have emerged over the years, and other people may give speeches at a wedding as well. These could include the mother of the bride, the bride herself, the groom's parents, or close friends of the couple. It's important to keep in mind the wishes of the couple and to ensure that all speeches are appropriate and in good taste.

Tips for Writing a great wedding speech

Here are some tips to help you write a great wedding speech:

  • Prepare and Practice: Don't wait until the last minute to start writing your speech. Give yourself plenty of time to prepare and practice. Write down your thoughts and ideas, and then organize them into a logical structure. Practice delivering your speech several times, either by yourself or in front of a trusted friend or family member.
  • Structure Your Speech: A great wedding speech typically follows a basic structure. Start with an attention-grabbing opening that will capture the audience's attention. Then, move on to the body of your speech, where you will share your thoughts, stories, and advice. Finally, end with a memorable conclusion and a toast to the newlyweds.
  • Keep it Positive: A wedding is a joyous occasion, so keep your speech positive and uplifting. Share stories that celebrate the love and happiness of the couple, and offer words of encouragement and support.
  • Use Humor Wisely: Humor can be a great way to connect with the audience and lighten the mood, but be careful not to go overboard. Avoid jokes that are inappropriate or offensive, and keep in mind that what may be funny to you may not be funny to everyone.
  • Share Personal Anecdotes: Personal anecdotes are a great way to personalize your speech and connect with the couple and the audience. Share stories that highlight the couple's strengths and unique qualities, and that demonstrate the love and support they have for each other.
  • Avoid Sensitive Topics: Avoid topics that may be sensitive or controversial, such as politics, religion, or past relationships. Stick to positive and uplifting messages that celebrate the love and happiness of the couple.

Tips for delivering a great wedding speech

Here are some tips to help you deliver a memorable speech with confidence:

  • Manage Your Nerves: It's normal to feel nervous before giving a speech, but there are techniques you can use to manage your nerves. Take some deep breaths, visualize a positive outcome, and remind yourself that the audience is there to support you.
  • Project Your Voice: Make sure you speak clearly and project your voice so that everyone in the audience can hear you. Take your time, speak at a moderate pace, and avoid rushing through your speech.
  • Maintain Eye Contact: Maintain eye contact with the audience to help build a connection with them. Look around the room and make eye contact with different people, but avoid staring at one person for too long.
  • Use Pauses: Using pauses can help you emphasize key points and give the audience time to digest what you're saying. Don't be afraid to take a moment to gather your thoughts and take a breath before continuing.
  • Vary Your Tone: Varying your tone can help you keep the audience engaged and prevent your speech from sounding monotonous. Use inflection to emphasize key points, and adjust your tone to match the mood of the moment.
  • Practice, Practice, Practice: The more you practice your speech, the more confident you'll feel on the day of the wedding. Practice in front of a mirror, record yourself or give your speech to a trusted friend or family member for feedback.

Examples of great wedding speeches

Here are some examples of great wedding speeches to inspire you:

  • Father of the Bride Speech: This father of the bride speech is both touching and humorous. He speaks from the heart and uses personal anecdotes to illustrate his love for his daughter and his joy at seeing her marry the man she loves.
  • Best Man Speech: This best man speech is funny, charming, and heartfelt. He tells stories about the groom that show both his good qualities and his quirks, and he ends with a touching message of support for the newlyweds.
  • Maid of Honor Speech: This maid of honor speech is both heartfelt and inspiring. She talks about the bride's strengths and qualities and offers a message of love and support to the happy couple.
  • Bride's Speech: This bride's speech is touching and emotional. She speaks about her love for her new husband and her gratitude for the support of her family and friends.

What makes these speeches effective is that they all have a clear structure, with an opening that captures the audience's attention, a body that tells personal stories or expresses heartfelt sentiments, and a conclusion that offers words of wisdom or congratulations to the happy couple.

For more inspiration, there are many online resources that offer examples of great wedding speeches, including Hitched , Wedding Forward , and LoveToKnow Weddings . 

Additionally, In the spirit of embracing new experiences, you may want to craft a heartfelt and personalized wedding speech by using Provenance , which has a number of modern online tools, including a Ceremony Builder, Vow Builder, and Toast Builder, as well as more in-depth services like professional speechwriting and public speaking services.

Wedding speeches are an important part of any wedding ceremony, as they provide an opportunity for loved ones to express their feelings and support for the happy couple. Whether you are the father of the bride, the maid of honor, or any other speech giver, there are certain tips and techniques you can use to write and deliver a great wedding speech that will be remembered for years to come.

Remember, a great wedding speech can have a profound impact on the newlyweds and their guests, and can create cherished memories that last a lifetime. So, if you have a wedding coming up, start preparing your speech early, and use the tips and resources we've discussed to create a memorable and meaningful tribute to the happy couple.

Common questions

What is the best time during the wedding for speeches?

Traditionally, speeches are given after the meal and before the cutting of the cake. This allows everyone to enjoy their food and drinks before the speeches begin and also ensures that the speeches do not run too late into the night. However, some couples may choose to have speeches earlier in the evening or during the reception, depending on their personal preference.

How long should a wedding speech be?

The length of a wedding speech can vary, but generally, it should be no longer than 5-7 minutes. This allows enough time to deliver a heartfelt message or share a few humorous anecdotes without losing the attention of the audience.

Is it okay to use humor in a wedding speech?

Yes, it is perfectly fine to use humor in a wedding speech, as long as it is appropriate and not at the expense of anyone present. However, it's important to balance humor with sincere sentiments, so that the speech doesn't become too light-hearted or frivolous.

What should I do if I forget my speech during delivery?

If you forget your speech during delivery, take a deep breath and try to remain calm. You can take a moment to gather your thoughts, look down at your notes (if you have them), or ask someone to prompt you with a question. If all else fails, you can simply speak from the heart and express your feelings in your own words.

How can I involve the audience in my speech?

One way to involve the audience in your speech is to ask them a question or invite them to participate in a brief activity. For example, you could ask them to raise their glasses for a toast or have them shout out a particular phrase or response at certain points in your speech.

How do I end a wedding speech?

A good way to end a wedding speech is to offer a message of congratulations or well wishes to the happy couple. You can also thank them for the opportunity to speak and express your gratitude to those who helped make the wedding day special. Finally, you can invite everyone to join you in raising a glass for a final toast to the newlyweds.

Online Marriage with Courtly

In recent years, online marriage has emerged as a popular alternative to traditional in-person weddings. Online marriage allows couples to legally tie the knot without the need for physical presence in a courthouse or a place of worship. One platform that has garnered a lot of attention for its online marriage services is Courtly. We offer customizable ceremonies, licensed officiants, and a virtual marriage license, making the entire process streamlined and efficient. 

Couples can choose from a range of ceremony options, including secular, religious, and interfaith ceremonies. Furthermore, we offer additional services such as wedding planning, premarital counseling, and online resources to help couples prepare for their big day.

One of the key benefits of online marriage with Courtly is convenience. Couples can get married from the comfort of their own home, without the need for travel or extensive planning. This can be particularly appealing for those who have busy schedules, are unable to travel, or simply prefer a more intimate ceremony. Additionally, the online marriage option may be more affordable than a traditional wedding, as it eliminates many of the expenses associated with a physical ceremony.

However, it is important to note that online marriage is not without its drawbacks. Some may argue that an online ceremony lacks the personal touch and emotional impact of a physical wedding. Some countries may not recognize online marriage as a legally valid option, which can be a barrier for couples looking to obtain legal recognition of their union. It is important to do thorough research and ensure that online marriage is a legally valid option in your location before making any decisions.

Let us handle the paperwork.

Getting married is complicated. Courtly simplifies the process and provides everything necessary to get married online, including providing a licensed officiant who can perform a remote ceremony.

Get married online.

Getting married is complicated. Courtly simplifies the process and provides everything necessary to get married online.

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how to deliver a good wedding speech

Delivering a wedding speech with confidence and humour - advice, guide, how-to

How To Deliver A Wedding Speech

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Home » How To Deliver A Wedding Speech

(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI .)

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Prepare to Deliver

There’s no use spending weeks slaving over your speech if no one can hear it. The acoustics in wedding venues are notoriously bad so test them out a couple of weeks in advance or get someone else to. Invest in a mic if the acoustics are questionable.

Make sure you position the ball of the mic below your mouth and point it towards your nose to avoid ‘popping’.

Remember if you’re using a mic there’s NO NEED TO SHOUT.

And, as expressive as you should be, try not to wave your microphone around like you’re anointing your audience or forget about it completely. A mic only works when you’re pointing it at your mouth!

2 – Memorise your speech (but use notes)

Practise your speech at every opportunity. If your memory’s poor the practice will help you get familiar with the flow of the speech. If your memory’s great, well then, you’re blooming lucky (and probably under 40).

Whatever the case, we advise using cue cards or notes . Why? Weddings are weird things. Wonderful, beautiful, amazing but weird . They’ve got the power to suck all logical thought from your brain and replace it with loved-up nonsense (in the case of brides and grooms) or an abject fear (in the case of the other wedding speakers).

Cue cards give you a comfort blanket and, if you use them right, they don’t need to distract from the speech. Give copies to at least one trusted mate to carry on the day and take comfort in the fact you have something written down. This is not one of those moments where people gather round you chanting ‘speech, speech, speech’ and you have absolutely nothing to say.

Print your speech onto posh paper (with a good thickness) or cue cards with the ‘page turns’ appropriately positioned for when you plan to take a pause or you expect laughter.

These days, a lot of people use a tablet or iPad to read from. This reduces paper-shake – but please don’t use your phone. It looks overly casual and people are now programmed to resent people looking at their phones in their presence. It makes it feel like you’re not quite in the room.

how to deliver a good wedding speech

3 – Rehearse your body language 

It’s a biggie. As well as sounding relaxed, you need to look relaxed. An audience picks up body language cues.

You may have heard of the ‘power pose’ that Amy Cuddy brought to the world via her TED Talk in 2012. Can standing in a ‘powerful’ and expansive way really make you feel more assertive?

Well, subsequent studies suggest not, but hey, the basic idea makes sense… ‘fake it till you make it.’

Film yourself and check your posture.

  • Are your shoulders back?
  • Do you look relaxed?
  • Is your chin upwards and your head tilted towards your guests?
  • Are you using your hands?
  • Are you using facial expressions to full effect? Facial expressions can add an extra layer of humour so work on this. I want at least a couple of eyebrow raises in there.
  • Are you smiling? Other than any dearly departeds, we hope you are smiling throughout.

how to deliver a good wedding speech

4 – Pace yourself 

The aim is to come across as eloquent, confident, and conversational .

For years, the Speechy website was advising speakers to slow down; that a more deliberate pace helps people sound more assured.  And for some people, that is the case.

Talking too fast is a big problem and we’ve heard too many speeches where it’s obvious that the speaker just wants to get through it and sit down again. Rushing your delivery makes guests feel uncomfortable and creates a nervous atmosphere for everyone.

However , once we started providing delivery coaching, we realised not everyone was challenged in the same way.  Turns out some people already talk at a leisurely, deliberate pace already, and slowing them down made their style seem robotic.

So, how do you strike the balance between authority and confidence, and sounding like you’re playing a podcast at half speed?

Well, what you’re aiming for is a conversational tone. You want the pace of a chat with your friends, anywhere between 130 and 170 words per minute.

Time yourself and check your pace. A great site to test your delivery speed is Readtime . 

Father of the Bride Toast Hitched Speechy Help

5 – Plan to pause

A conversational style includes pauses.

A pause is essential when you expect laughter, and you should never talk over it once it lands. Speakers often move on from the joke too quickly and don’t give their audience a chance to react.

When I delivered my wedding speech, I didn’t want it to come across as if I was lapping up the laughter so I gave my guests just a few seconds before launching into the rest of the speech. What a shame. Not only was I cutting short a great moment, I also ensured that my friends and family missed the first half of what I was continuing to say.

So, practise your pauses. And remember, they can be used to underline a sentimental thought too.

After each thank you, take a second to make eye contact and nod your head towards the person you’re addressing. After delivering a romantic line, take the time to look at your partner and smile. These moments can feel just as meaningful as the words themselves.

6 – Film & feedback 

Employ a trusted friend (or your partner) and make the rehearsal as realistic as possible.

Start by sitting, get them to introduce you and, if you’ll be using a microphone and notes on the day, make sure you’re using both in the rehearsal too (even if the mic is a hairbrush).

After they’ve given their feedback, push for more; at least one piece of constructive criticism.

Ask specifics to make the feedback as useful as possible…

  • Did I make enough eye contact?
  • How was my pace?
  • Were there any sections that lost you?
  • Did your attention dip at any point?
  • Did I smile enough?
  • How was my body language?

And here’s the crucial bit, once you receive their feedback, act on it. If they say they didn’t get your favourite line, work out why and change it.

And, when it comes to feedback, Alan Berg suggests you go one step further ‘If you really want to push yourself, rehearse in front of strangers!’.

how to deliver a good wedding speech

7 – Pretend to be confident

Adele, Stephen Fry, Megan Fox, and Michael McIntyre all suffer from stage fright. If those bad boys do, it’s natural us amateurs will too. Rest assured everyone’s nervous when giving a wedding speech.

The key is pretending to be confident. When it’s your turn to speak, stand up and smile. Look around the room. Make eye contact with people. Then smile again.

It’s amazing how contagious a smile can be. And, scientific fact, it actually tricks your body into believing you’re more relaxed than you are.

If you know you have a good speech on your hands, focus on conveying the humour and the sentiment to your audience. Imagine you’re reading a story to pre-schoolers. Drop all your pretensions and, instead, engross yourself in the story: the silly voices, the exaggerated facial expressions, the works.

See yourself as a conduit, a messenger of a story that is more important and more interesting than you. Don’t think about yourself but how you can get the best possible reaction from your audience.

8 – Avoid alcohol 

Lots of wedding speakers reckon a glass of alcohol calms the nerves, but it’s just wishful thinking. In fact, some research studies have shown that booze can actually increase the stress response.

Deep breaths are much more effective at reducing the stress hormones, though admittedly, not quite so fun.

Prior to delivering your speech, have a glass of water (to make sure you don’t ‘dry up’) and have a snack. An empty stomach isn’t good for nerves. It may be the last thing you fancy but stuff a handful of canapes down or have a Mars bar on hand.

how to deliver a good wedding speech

9 – Look right

Make eye contact with the guests throughout your speech and look at the relevant person when you’re addressing them personally (for example, when you’re thanking them or telling them how chuffed you are that they married you).

10 – Direct your toast

When it comes to delivering your toast, people need a bit of direction.

Make clear if this is a personal toast (for example, the groom personally toasts his mum in the middle of his speech) by simply looking at the person it’s directed to. If you want the guests to join in a toast, you should look at the guests and tell them what to do, for example;

‘Please join me in drinking to the happy couple’ And then turn towards the person or people being toasted as you name them again: ‘ To the happy couple..

The Speechwriting Experts

The Speechy team  are TV-trained scriptwriters/comedians by trade & we’ve helped 1,000s of speakers around the world deliver their dream speech.

Our advice has been quoted everywhere from  The New York Times  to  Grazia  and from Forbes to The Observer . Our founder has also featured on the  BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘ The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’ , published by Little, Brown.

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How can we help you?

Speech edit service, £ 245, bespoke speech writing service, £ 495, delivery coaching, £ 150, bespoke celebration speech, celebration speech edit service, or check out our range of speech templates from just £ 29 :, we’re rated ‘excellent' on trustpilot for a reason....

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how to deliver a good wedding speech

Ultimate Guide to Writing & Delivering a Great Wedding Speech or Toast

It doesn’t matter whether you’re giving a  bridesmaid speech, best man speech , father of the bride speech or the groom’s wedding speech .

Giving a wedding speech or toast can be nerve-racking. It doesn’t have to be though.  Just follow some basic rules and do some preparation work to ease the stress.

We’re here to help with the logistics and inspire your thoughts as well!

Essential Components Every Speech Needs to Rock – Make Your Speech personal – Add a Touch of Humor (But Not Too Much) – Thank Everyone Who Deserves a Thank-You – Write a Strong Speech Opener & Closer – The Ideal Speech Length – Practice Your Speech Before The Big Day! – A Few Things Not to Include in Your Speech The Groom’s Speech The Father of the Bride Speech The Best Man Speech Maid of Honor Speech What Makes a Great Toast? – Short & Sweet, or Long & Heartfelt? – Great Example Toasts – Toasts to Avoid – More Posts to Help You Create a Great Speech

Looking for a Specific Speech? We’ve Got You Covered

  • Groom’s Speech . Examples, guides, and tips.
  • Best Man Speech . Helping the best man create an awesome best man speech. Examples included.
  • Maid of Honor Speeches . How to come up with a great maid of honor speech. Examples included.
  • Father of the Bride Speech . Your daughter’s getting married. Here’s to delivering a heartfelt speech (with examples)

Essential Components: How to Write a Speech That Rocks

Essential Components: How to Write a Speech That Rocks

Giving a wedding speech is a great honor, but most of us immediately get writer’s block or freak out at the thought of coming up with what to say. Where do you start?

Before you begin your wedding speech or toast preparation, write down some thoughts about the couple’s relationship, how they met, how you know them, their personalities, or general thoughts about marriage. Once you have some of these ideas down on paper you have a framework to work from.

Make Your Speech Personal

How do you know the bride and groom? How do you feel about them? Were you involved when the bride and groom met? Do you know details of the proposal? Do they have cute nicknames for each other? It makes sense for anybody giving a speech to make it personal. Guests are going to appreciate the love and connection that comes from doing that.

Add A Touch of Humor (but not too much)

We love wedding speeches with humor. It is great if you can add a few one-liners and make a joke or two. In saying that, the best speech balances funny with heartfelt. If it’s too sentimental, you’ll have guests falling asleep. If you’re doing a 10 minutes comedy routine, then you could offend people and you lost the meaning of the special occasion. It is about balance.

Thank Everyone Who Deserves a Thank You

Thank the relevant people and make sure you’re specific where you can be. This takes some preparation, make sure you ask around to see who helped out with the wedding. And don’t forget the families of the bride and groom too, as well as members of the bridal party.

Write a Strong Speech Opener & Closer

You need to get people’s attention immediately. That means having a strong opener and a strong closer. Use a short Irish wedding toast, a cute saying or a funny quote. The idea is to give your best wishes, sum up the spirit of marriage or to give a toast.

The Ideal Speech Length

There are going to be a bunch of wedding speeches. Don’t bore people with a long speech. Save the long or potentially embarrassing stories for the bachelor or bachelorette party. Be brief and memorable.

Practice Your Speech Before The Big Day!

Practice and preparation makes perfect. Make eye contact and speak to all the guests. You can’t do that while looking down at a piece of paper or just going off the cuff. That means you need to prepare and have something written down and rehearsed. Practice, practice, practice. Stand in front of the mirror and rehearse till you are comfortable and confident. Practice until you look good, until you can watch yourself in the mirror – and ultimately look at the audience – while speaking.

A Few Things Not To Include in Your Speech

The rules here are quite simple. First things first, it’s never funny to make racist jokes or comments about any of the families’ cultures or traditions. Leave out all profanities or jokes that are on the obscene or offensive lines.

Poke fun at the groom but don’t cross the line and hurt anyone’s feelings. Leave out stories of drunken nights or exes. Steer away from any sexual innuendos as well. Use your common sense.

You want to walk away with the bride and groom feeling good, not humiliated.

The Groom’s Speech

The groom’s wedding speech is a big deal. Everybody wants to know what the groom has to say. In his speech, a groom will toast the bridesmaids and thank them for a job well done and will thank his groom’s party for their support throughout.

The groom’s speech also includes a special thank you to his parents and maybe even include some special memories of them. He’ll need to thank the bride’s parents and thank guests for coming and giving gifts. Finally, the groom has to show some love for his new wife, dedicating a portion of his speech to her.

The high-level pointers for the groom speech are:

  • Keep it lighthearted and add (some) humor
  • Remember to thank everyone
  • Focus on your wife
  • Pick out good quotes or one-liners to reference
  • Remain calm and contained

Read more about the groom’s speech .

The Father of the Bride Speech

The Father of the Bride speech is one of the most anticipated moments of the entire evening. It can also be one of the most emotional. You can use this moment as an opener to the night’s festivities as well. Having the father of the bride welcome guests to the celebration and thanking them for all coming and showing their love.

The father of the bride may also talk more casually about his feelings and relationship daughter. It’ll also be nice to acknowledge the two families coming together as one.  As you can see, there is some heavy lifting for great wedding speeches to happen, and for the father of the bride, in particular, there is a lot to cover in a short period of time.

The high-level pointers for the father of the bride speech are:

  • Stay loving and supportive
  • Add sentiment and humor too
  • Take time to reflect
  • Include your wishes for the couple’s future
  • Be confident

Read more about the father of the bride speech .

The Best Man Speech

best man speech tips

The best man’s speech is always a highlight of the celebration as well. People expect to get a few laughs and see the groom nervously giggling as well. It’s important to throw out the appropriate thank you’s here as well, especially when it comes to the bridesmaids and fellow groomsman.

As such a close counterpart to the groom, you’ll also need to throw in some, well, throwbacks as well. It’s a great time to reminisce as well as talk a bit about the couple’s relationship and how it grew from an outsider’s perspective.

The high-level pointers for the best man speech are:

  • Humor is a must
  • Memorable stories of the groom
  • Memorable stories of the couple
  • Funny one-liners
  • Well wishes
  • Solid delivery

Read more about the best man speech .

Maid of Honor Speech

The maid of honor’s speech isn’t expected to be witty and full of laughs, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go in for some great jokes! Add a bit of humor if that’s within your wheelhouse but also know that it’s a great time to boost the bride with lots of amazing words as well as share any sentimental stories you have of the newlyweds.

Just like the best man is to the groom, the maid of honor is the bride’s closest counterpart so a bit of warmth and love is definitely expected to show in the wedding speech. Memorable moments from your own relationship are also a welcomed addition to the toast.

The high-level pointers for the maid of honor speech are:

  • Be heartfelt
  • Boost the bride

Read more about the maid of honor speech .

how to deliver a good wedding speech

What Makes a Great Toast?

Short & sweet, or long & heartfelt.

What makes a great toast isn’t necessarily the length or even the delivery – because a great toast comes in lots of different forms.

You can be a bit nervous and shaky and still pull out a beautiful, long and sentimental speech that tugs at everyone’s heartstrings and leaves a lasting impression on the bride and the groom. But something short and sweet can pack a mighty punch as well. It’s really about the prep and the content. Your hard work and heartfelt words will be noticed.

Great Example Toasts

What is the order of speeches at a wedding.

In the good old days, wedding speeches were simple. You had the Father of the Bride and the Best Man. Each would get up, give a quick toast and it was over. These days, we have lots of wedding speeches. Just about every person at the wedding gives a speech, so having some kind of order of wedding speeches not only makes sense, but has some wedding etiquette to it too.

The wedding speech order can vary and nothing is set in stone, but as a couple you must remember that the key goal of this part of the wedding is to ensure guests are enjoy themselves and that everybody gets to hear what is said. Broadly, that means speeches happen towards the end of the meal.

If you take the standard order of wedding speeches, the Best Man will give his speech or toast first. He will toast the bride and groom and is, generally, the MC for the night. After the Best Man speech the groom will respond, toast his new bride, and thank the parents and so on. The Father of the Bride gives his speech last.

We mentioned early on that lots of people give speeches, so in the spirit of being thorough, here is the definitive long-list of wedding speeches order that you should keep in mind:

  • Best Man give his speech
  • Maid (or Matron) of Honor gives her speech
  • Father of the Bride gives his speech
  • Parents of the Groom give their speech
  • Groom gives his speech
  • Bride gives her speech
  • Any other Guests of Honor give their speeches

how to deliver a good wedding speech

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In This Article

  • Short Examples
  • One Line Examples

Wedding Toast Examples

  • How To Write

Brides Often Ask

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Perfect Short Wedding Speech Examples To Guide You

Natalia Bayeva

suzannekarpphotography

Wedding speeches are a long-time tradition of weddings. And, if you have an important role at a wedding, such as best man, father of the bride or maid of honor, you would be expected to give a speech. While the thought of giving a speech might be nerve-wracking, it might comfort you to know that the best speeches are short and sweet. So, don’t feel any stress or pressure, because short wedding speeches are not only the best, they are easy to deliver.

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For your inspiration, we’ve put together a guide as well as some short wedding speeches examples to help you on your way to give the best wedding speech.

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Short Wedding Speeches Examples

Bride’s wedding speech.

“ Hello, everyone! Thanks for sharing this special day with us. A big shoutout to my amazing parents for making my dream wedding a reality. To my incredible groom (name), your joy fills my heart every day. I’m beyond grateful to have you as my husband, and today marks the start of countless joyous celebrations together. Cheers to love and a lifetime of happiness!”

Groom’s Wedding Speech

There are many ways to give groom short wedding speeches. Use this example as a guide to inspire you when writing your own.

“Hello, everyone! Thank you for celebrating this special day with us. A big thanks to our parents for making today possible. Today is beyond special, and we’re overflowing with gratitude. To my love, you’ve been my rock and best friend. Thank you for accepting me, flaws and all. I promise to be there for you always and to love you forever. Cheers to a lifetime of love and joy together!”

Father’s of the Bride Wedding Speech

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us on this special day. As (bride’s name)’s father, I’m overjoyed and grateful. Today, we gain a son and a supportive family. Thanks for making our dreams come true. I’m confident that (name of groom) will bring endless happiness to my daughter. Here’s to love, security, and many more joyous days ahead! Cheers!”

Father’s of the Groom Wedding Speech

“Thank you all for being here to celebrate with us. I am the happiest man today welcoming a new daughter into my family. Also, I am grateful to her family as well for being the best in-laws ever and supporting us in putting all of this together. I could not have asked for a better day for them, and all I can say is that I wish them the best. To you both, may this day be the beginning of a long and fruitful journey together. My wife and I love you both. Once again, thank you all. Cheers.

Wedding speech for mother of the bride

“Hello everyone. Thank you all for being here. My heart is full today, as you all must know. Watching my daughter take this important step in her life has made me very happy. We are all so happy to support them both in starting this new chapter in their lives. I have dreamed of this day so much; I am grateful to finally be able to see it. (Groom’s name) has been an excellent son-in-law and I am beyond happy to welcome him into our family. I am extremely proud of my daughter and happy to give her to someone who loves her just as much as we do. As we celebrate with you two today, may the sounds of celebration never leave you. All our love.”

Wedding speech for the mother of the groom

Another one of our short simple wedding speeches examples for the mother of the groom.

“Warm greetings to you all. I appreciate the time that you have taken to join us in celebrating (bride and groom). From the day my son introduced me to (name of bride), I have grown to love her as my own daughter, and it has been a joy to watch them grow in love with each other. I used to have a lot of anxiety about my son’s relationships in the past, but when I met (bride), I knew that he had met his match. I am happy to celebrate you both today in not just your union, but the union of our families too. Much love to you both. Cheers everyone!”

Best Man Speech

“Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention, please. Today, I stand beside an extraordinary couple, [Couple’s Names], on their special day. To [Bride’s Name], you look absolutely stunning, and [Groom’s Name], well, you clean up pretty well too! Here’s to a lifetime of laughter, love, and countless adventures. May your journey together be as incredible as this celebration. Cheers!”

Maid Of Honor Speech

Ladies and gents, let’s talk about the dazzling duo we’re celebrating today, [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. To my gorgeous bestie, you’ve found your lobster! And to the lucky guy who snagged her, good luck – you’re stuck with us now! Here’s to a love that’s as endless as the dance floor tonight. Cheers to the newlyweds!

One-Line Wedding Speech Examples

Crafting the perfect wedding speech is an art. Here are five examples that blend sentiment, humor, and celebration for your inspiration.

Today, we not only witness the union of [Couple’s Names] but also the merging of two hearts that beat as one. Here’s to a love story that transcends time and space.
As I stand before this extraordinary couple, I can’t help but marvel at the love between [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. Today, we celebrate not just a wedding but a promise of forever.
In the grand storybook of love, [Couple’s Names] have written a chapter filled with laughter, tears, and endless love. Here’s to turning the page to a beautiful new beginning.
To [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], may your marriage be the masterpiece of a lifetime, painted with strokes of joy, understanding, and boundless love.
As witnesses to the love between [Couple’s Names], let us raise our glasses to a journey that begins today and unfolds into a lifetime of shared dreams and cherished moments.

A toast to love and laughter—here are five heartfelt expressions for raising your glass to the happy couple.

To the couple, may your love be as timeless as the vows you share today and as joyous as the celebration we’re all a part of!
Here’s to love, laughter, and a happily ever after for [Couple’s Names]. May every day be an adventure filled with shared dreams and endless love!
To [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], may your journey together be as sweet as the cake we’re about to devour! Cheers to a lifetime of love and happiness!
Let’s raise our glasses to [Couple’s Names], whose love story is as enchanting as today’s setting sun. May your love glow brighter with each passing day!
A toast to [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], may your marriage be as perfect as today’s weather, and your happiness as everlasting as the memories we’re creating!

How To Write a Short Wedding Speech

With this guide, you can create short and sweet wedding speeches that will just flow organically. Write a killer speech that would be easy to read and will convey your love for the couple perfectly.

  • Remember who is in the audience: Whether you are giving short wedding speeches as the best man or groom, it is important to keep your audience in mind. Introduce yourself and acknowledge them. Focusing on the audience and engaging them will help you speak from the heart.
  • Avoid alcohol: While getting some liquid courage can be tempting, it is best to lay off the alcohol until after your speech. Alcohol could turn short funny wedding speeches into something long and nonsensical. This is because you might slur or forget your words under the influence, and this is something you absolutely do not want.
  • Use note cards: Although you are not encouraged to read out your short wedding rehearsal dinner speech completely, note cards are encouraged. With these cues, you can glance at your notes from time to time to help you remember your lines and keep you on track. The audience might not even notice, and your speech would be better for it.
  • Structure your story: Structure your speech in a way that focuses on the bride and groom. Fine one, two or three points about them that you can elaborate upon and stories in which they are the hero. This will keep your message in the right direction, and you can be sure to end on a positive note.

In the next part, we have a list of some of the best short wedding speeches that can help inspire you to write your own.

Example of a Short Wedding Toast

“Cheers to [Couple’s Names]! May your days be filled with love, laughter, and countless joyous moments. Here’s to a lifetime of happiness together!”

How to Make a Short and Sweet Wedding Speech

Focus on key points like expressing happiness for the couple, sharing a brief anecdote, and offering a toast. Keep it concise, heartfelt, and light-hearted for impact.

Is a 1 Minute Wedding Speech Too Short?

No, a 1-minute wedding speech can be perfect. A concise speech ensures guests stay engaged and leaves a lasting impression. Focus on the essentials – expressing joy, sharing a quick story, and toasting the couple.

Not many people are trained public speakers, but it is hard to go wrong with short wedding speeches. Allow these tips and examples to guide you in making the best wedding speeches ever.

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how to deliver a good wedding speech

How to Begin a Wedding Speech: Great Opening Lines

Handy one-liners to get your speech off to an amazing start.

how to deliver a good wedding speech

If you've read our post on how to make a great wedding speech , you'll know that it's really important to start strong! Well, here we're showing you how to do exactly that, with a list of the best wedding speech opening lines . The beauty of this list is that it works for any kind of wedding speech, whether you're the bride, groom, best man, bridesmaid, father-of-the-bride, or even the flower girl or the groom's granny!

We've made sure to include lots of different options so there's something to suit every style of speech, whether you want to keep it simple, bring the audience to tears, or give them a giggle with a joke . Some of our wedding speech opening lines can be customised, too, to help you make your speech even more personal. So, let's dive in!

how to deliver a good wedding speech

Our Favourite Wedding Speech Opening Lines

To help you find what you're looking for, we've split our sample opening lines into three categories; simple and sincere opening lines, funny opening lines and opening lines with quotes from famous people.

Note: (name) can indicate yourself, the bride/groom, the couple as a whole, or another member of the wedding party.  

Wedding Speech Opening Lines: Simple and Sincere Opening Lines

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you (name) for the kind introduction."

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As (name's friend/relative), I'm delighted to welcome you all here tonight."

"Thank you so much, (name), for such a wonderful introduction. I only hope I can live up to your kind words!"

"Hello everyone. I hope you're all having a great night so far."

how to deliver a good wedding speech

"Hello, I'm (name) and, for those of you who don't already know me, I'm (relation to couple)."

"Hi everybody, I'm (name), and I'm here to talk a little bit about my good friend (name)."

"Hi everyone, I'm (name), and I'm going to talk a little bit about (name). When I was writing this speech, I asked myself how I could sum up (X) years of friendship, laughter and adventures in one speech, and I decided that I can't. We'd be here all night."

"Hello everybody and welcome. I think we can all agree that it's been a wonderful day so far. (Couple names), you should be really proud of the amazing day you've put together. We're all very lucky to be a part of it."

"Hello everyone. I hope you're all having a great night so far. My life changed completely on (date, year), when (name) came into my life, and it changes again today, as they embark on their latest adventure with (name)."

"Hi everybody. Thank you for the warm welcome. Mark Twain once said that 'there are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars.' I'm definitely in the former category, so I hope you'll forgive me if I'm a little bit shaky this evening."

wedding speech opening lines funny opening lines sincere opening lines (9)

Wedding Speech Opening Lines: Funny Opening Lines to Make Guests LOL

"Hi everyone, I'm (name), and before any of you ask, yes I am single."

"Hi everyone, I'm (name), and I'll be your speaker for the next 95 minutes."

"Hi everybody. If you don't know who I am... well, you're probably at the wrong wedding! But stick around, we need extra people for the conga line."

"Hi everyone. You're probably wondering why I gathered you here today. I've got a once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity that I know you're going to - sorry, wrong speech!"

"Hello everyone! Thank you all for being here on such an exciting night. Yes, the rumours are true, I will be debuting some new choreography on the dance floor this evening. But in the mean time, I suppose I should talk a little bit about (couple names)."

"Hello, and welcome. You may know me as (name's friend/relative), but tonight, I go by the title, (name), Lord of the Dance."

how to deliver a good wedding speech

"Hi everyone. Just in case you don't already know, I'm (name) and I'm the best man. There are some really successful, good-looking, charming men in the room tonight, but now that it's written on the ceremony program in black and white, it's official - I am the best."

"Hi everyone, I'm (name), and I'd like to begin my speech with a quote from the great Seamus Heaney/Maya Angelou/Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr./Mother Teresa... but unfortunately I left my speech in my other jacket. So you'll have to make do with me!"

“Hi everyone. If I could just say a few words … I’d be a better public speaker! That gag was actually stolen from Homer Simpson, which should give you an idea of the caliber of speech you can expect from me tonight.”

"Hi everyone, and welcome. Webster's dictionary describes a wedding as, 'The process of removing weeds from one's garden'. That's a Homer Simpson quote, which should give you an idea of the caliber of speech you can expect from me tonight.”

how to deliver a good wedding speech

"Hello everyone, I'm (name.) According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right?"

"Hi everyone. When I was preparing this speech, (name) gave me a list of topics that were strictly off-limits, so I'd like to start with those."

"Hi everyone. I'm (name). Anyone who knows me knows that I'm (name)'s biggest fan. So much so, that I was actually quite hurt when I learned that I wasn't going to be involved in the first dance!"

"Hi everyone. I just want to take a few minutes to talk about my good friend (name). I first met (name) when we were 13, and since then, I've always looked up to him. He was, after all, the only 6ft 2' student at (school name)!"

"Good evening everyone. To our English speakers, I'd like to say welcome, we're delighted that you could be with us today to celebrate the marriage of (couple names). To our (other language) speakers, I'd like to say (use Google Translate or ask a native speaker to translate, 'My llama is very handsome. I hope my translation is correct.')"

how to deliver a good wedding speech

Wedding Speech Opening Lines: Beginning with a Quote

"Hi everyone. I'd like to begin my speech with a quote from Dr. James Dobson, who said, 'Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.' "

"Hi everyone. I'd like to begin my speech with a quote from Franz Schubert, who said, 'Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.' "

"Hi everyone. I'd like to begin my speech with a quote from The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who said, 'There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.' "

how to deliver a good wedding speech

"Hi everyone. I'd like to begin my speech with a quote from Franklin P. Jones, who said, 'Love doesn't make the world go 'round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.' "

"Hi everyone, I'm (name.) I hope you're all having a wonderful day so far. When I got married to my partner (name), somebody told me, 'Don't just be husband and wife, be president of each other's fan clubs,' and I'd like to pass on that same advice to (couple)."

"Hello everyone. I'd like to begin with a quote from Mignon McLaughlin, who said, 'A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.' Over the past (x) years, I've had the pleasure of watching (name) fall in love with (name) over and over again."

Click herefor a handy checklist of people to thank in your wedding speech , plus how to keep the speeches from being too long !

Image credits

Adam and grace, via one fab day, see more in:.

how to deliver a good wedding speech

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how to deliver a good wedding speech

How to write a wedding speech as we hit peak marriage season

There are three templates to download thanks to comedian Rob Madin

  • 09:38, 21 JUN 2024

how to deliver a good wedding speech

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This Sunday, June 23, is set to be one of the most popular wedding dates of the year with almost 4,000 marriages across the country in one day. Travelodge has partnered with comedian Rob Madin to write a selection of wedding speeches which can be downloaded, giving you light relief when it comes to composing the ultimate wedding speech.

The three adaptable speeches can be used as the foundation to write your own personalised words or serve as a form of inspiration. Whether you're ‘The Joker’ looking to bring the house down with wall-to-wall ‘bants’, or want to tug at the heart strings and set off the parents with ‘The Tearjerker’ - an emotional journey through the happy couple’s best moments. Or perhaps, you're more of a ‘Creative Curveball’ who likes to take a maverick approach.

Travelodge Master of Ceremonies said: “It’s that time of year again, where couples get ready to say their ‘I do’s’. Whilst wedding season should be a time of love and cheer, if you’re the one giving a speech on the big day, they can also be incredibly nerve wracking. So, as well as offering our guests king sized comfort and great value accommodation, we’re going one step further this season by helping those tasked with ‘saying a few words’ by launching our Wedding Speech Menu offering - just another reason you Better Get a Travelodge.”

Our three speeches are live on the Travelodge website www.travelodge.co.uk/blog/news/wedding-speech-menu .

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How to Make a “Good” Presentation “Great”

  • Guy Kawasaki

how to deliver a good wedding speech

Remember: Less is more.

A strong presentation is so much more than information pasted onto a series of slides with fancy backgrounds. Whether you’re pitching an idea, reporting market research, or sharing something else, a great presentation can give you a competitive advantage, and be a powerful tool when aiming to persuade, educate, or inspire others. Here are some unique elements that make a presentation stand out.

  • Fonts: Sans Serif fonts such as Helvetica or Arial are preferred for their clean lines, which make them easy to digest at various sizes and distances. Limit the number of font styles to two: one for headings and another for body text, to avoid visual confusion or distractions.
  • Colors: Colors can evoke emotions and highlight critical points, but their overuse can lead to a cluttered and confusing presentation. A limited palette of two to three main colors, complemented by a simple background, can help you draw attention to key elements without overwhelming the audience.
  • Pictures: Pictures can communicate complex ideas quickly and memorably but choosing the right images is key. Images or pictures should be big (perhaps 20-25% of the page), bold, and have a clear purpose that complements the slide’s text.
  • Layout: Don’t overcrowd your slides with too much information. When in doubt, adhere to the principle of simplicity, and aim for a clean and uncluttered layout with plenty of white space around text and images. Think phrases and bullets, not sentences.

As an intern or early career professional, chances are that you’ll be tasked with making or giving a presentation in the near future. Whether you’re pitching an idea, reporting market research, or sharing something else, a great presentation can give you a competitive advantage, and be a powerful tool when aiming to persuade, educate, or inspire others.

how to deliver a good wedding speech

  • Guy Kawasaki is the chief evangelist at Canva and was the former chief evangelist at Apple. Guy is the author of 16 books including Think Remarkable : 9 Paths to Transform Your Life and Make a Difference.

Partner Center

Jill Biden enthusiastically supports Joe after debate: 'You did such a great job'

how to deliver a good wedding speech

First Lady Jill Biden gave President Joe Biden a warm welcome as he stepped on stage at an Atlanta hotel after Thursday night's debate − despite his performance sparking concerns about his candidacy .

"Didn't the president do a great job? Yes!" said Jill Biden to supporters who gathered at the hotel after Joe stepped on stage. After a brief pause, the crowd starting chanting "four more years!" before Jill joined in on the chant.

"Joe you did such a great job," she went on. "You answered every question, you knew all the facts." Then she turned to the crowd to ask, "And what did Trump do?"

"Lie!" they all shouted in unison.

Other reactions to the first debate were mostly negative. Here's a look at what people are saying.

Swing state voters react to Trump-Biden debate

Reporters for USA TODAY's network partners interviewed swing-state residents shortly after the debate ended to see how they thought each candidate fared.

A voter in Nevada compared  President Joe Biden’s performance  to elder abuse.

A voter in Georgia was so disgusted with  what he was hearing  from the Democratic incumbent and former President Donald Trump that he quit watching, walked to a liquor store and bought a six-pack of beer.

Another voter in Wisconsin called it “a painful experience.”

Debate reactions from morning television

Morning show anchors had a variety of reactions Friday morning to what happened on stage Thursday night.

"The president struggled with answers...Trump struggled with the truth," "Good Morning America" host George Stephanopoulos said Friday morning at the opening of the show.

Pres. Biden and former Pres. Trump go head-to-head and trade personal attacks in first debate. @rachelvscott reports. https://t.co/ld2zv1VO9B pic.twitter.com/USbMbiObPu — Good Morning America (@GMA) June 28, 2024

"Both presumptive nominees were hoping to shake off concerns about their age and their fitness for office, but President Biden failed to land any knockout blows, and his stumbling performance is raising a lot of alarm bells for many Democrats this morning," "CBS Mornings" host Gayle King said.

"His struggles drew attention away from a blizzard of false claims from Donald Trump," "CBS News" Chief White House Correspondent Nancy Cordes said in the post-debate report.

Both candidates are facing criticism after last night’s presidential debate, with Democratic lawmakers using words like “disappointing” and “painful” to describe President Biden’s performance. Some are now openly questioning whether it’s too late to replace him. pic.twitter.com/GgUkKtLAnM — CBS Mornings (@CBSMornings) June 28, 2024

"Today" kicked off their Friday morning show with reactions and analysis to the debate with anchors from "NBC Nightly News" and "Meet the Press."

"President Biden's struggles in some ways overshadowing the multiple lies and grievances from former President Trump as both candidates now look ahead to rallies today in states they hope to win," "Sunday NBC Nightly News" anchor Hallie Jackson told hosts Hoda Kotb and Savannah Guthrie.

Contributing: Michael Collins, Melissa Cruz, Christina Avery, Fernando Cervantes Jr., Sabine Martin, Kerria Weaver, Laura Schulte, Matthew Rink, Chris Ullery, Mark Robison, Emily DeLetter & Karissa Waddick; USA TODAY

Gabe Hauari is a national trending news reporter at USA TODAY. You can follow him on X  @GabeHauari  or email him at [email protected].

Joe Biden is too impaired to lead. Remove him from power, now.

Biden must be removed from power, now.

After Thursday’s presidential debate, Joe Biden’s psychiatric and cognitive conditions are no longer merely a political issue. They are a national security issue. America’s enemies now know the president is too impaired to lead.

Who is making the decisions when the president can’t? 

Why have they told us that accurate videos of his garbled speech, confusion in leaving podiums, hand raised to shake the hand of an invisible entity, and his catatonic unblinking state at the Juneteenth celebration were “cheap fakes”?

I cared for my own mother while she was afflicted with Alzheimer’s. Another relative died with Parkinson’s-related dementia. These conditions do not get better. They only get worse.

Afflicted persons adopt rigid, even bizarre, beliefs. Wasn’t Biden warned, during his weeklong debate preparation, to not repeat the lie that Trump said the neo-Nazis at Charlottesville were “fine people” when Trump actually condemned them?  Does he really believe that abortion is needed because “a lot of young women … are being raped by their … brothers and sisters”?  Their sisters? How did “we finally beat Medicare”?

If Biden were your parent, would you take away the car keys?

The vice president and Cabinet must act under the 25th Amendment to declare to Congress “that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office” and place the government in the hands of the vice President, an action which has its risks, but which is the only lawful alternative left.

Donald W. Bohlken, Indianola

More: Biden-Trump debate goes to who looked good, just as with Nixon-JFK

Both ‘men’ acted like junior high boys

I was truly looking forward to Thursday night’s presidential debate. Unfortunately, I could not watch even a half-hour of it before I turned it off in disgust. Such juvenile displays of testosterone and braggadocio are usually reserved for when two junior high boys are trying to impress the popular girl. It was as far away from acting presidential as one could get.

In order to forestall another such exhibition of immature behavior, I have two suggestions.

The first would be that the candidates may only talk about themselves – what they have done and what they will do, if elected. Character assassination only rebounds back to the speaker’s integrity. The second suggestion would be to bring back the note cards. When I was in debate in high school, we all used notecards because if we stated something as a fact, we had to prove that statement’s validity. This should eliminate the accusations of lying. It would be fairly simple to enforce these reasonable recommendations; if the speaker goes outside these parameters, their mic would be cut off and their time for that question would be considered over.

It is sad that the two people who would like to preside over one of the world’s most powerful countries need to have such directives; one would hope that they would try to impress us with their civility, compassion, and competence. Junior high girls may like such shows of adolescent machismo and bluster; hopefully the voters have outgrown such prepubescent attractions and would prefer a more statesmanlike exchange.

Barbara Persoon, Pleasantville

More: Republicans deserve the version of Trump we saw during the debate. Too bad it won't last.

This debate didn’t reveal anything

My observation after having watched the debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden: Americans should not have learned anything they did not already know about either of the two of them.

Joe Biden has always struggled with speaking, but he is a thoughtful person who will work within the democratic system that we have in the United States to move our country forward to being as good as we can be within those parameters.

Donald Trump has always spewed lies and worked outside the system to assuage his narcissism, his money and his ego and continues to do so with better theatrical display than Biden. Biden’s worst day speaking will always be better for America than Donald Trump’s best vitriolic attempt to become an autocrat that will do the United States and its democracy nothing but harm.

Phillip Thien, Des Moines

More: Biden and Trump's debate on abortion is the most depressing thing I heard this week

Give me ‘mumbling honest Joe Biden over a manic dishonest Donald Trump’

Perpetual liars don’t rely on reality. They bend their views and decisions on untruths that cannot hold up under pressure. At this point in its history, our country needs truth seekers and truth tellers more than ever. When the storm hits, liars have set a foundation on sand, which will crumble. Honest leaders make decisions based upon the rock foundation, which stays firm.  

That’s why I will vote for a mumbling honest Joe Biden over a manic dishonest Donald Trump.

The Rev. Denny Coon, Ankeny

Biden was bad, but did you listen to Trump?

Of course I am concerned about President Joe Biden's performance in Thursday night's debate. I am also concerned by Donald Trump's inability or unwillingness to answer directly many of the questions, his meandering and perseverative responses, and his outright lies which he seems to think will be accepted as the truth if he repeats them often enough.

For example, Trump insisted that he's been judged one of the best presidents ever and Biden is the worst. In fact, 154 presidential specialists ranked Trump the worst president ever, and Biden the 14th best. He also repeatedly criticized Biden on immigration; in fact, it was at Trump's urging that Republicans in Congress scuttled a bipartisan immigration bill that would have resulted in significant progress on this issue. Reasonable concerns about Biden's performance shouldn't blind us to Trump's obvious shortcomings.

Dorothy Lifka, Des Moines

Examining their records, Joe Biden is the clear choice over Donald Trump

At the presidential debate, Donald Trump consistently told lies. He vilified immigrants, had no planned action on the climate crisis, and ignored improvements to his handling of COVID. If Trump is re-elected, no progress will be made on advancing reproductive health care, the climate crisis, challenging the role of money in politics, and making college more affordable, promoting LGBTQ+ rights, and other important issues.

President Joe Biden mitigated the health effects from COVID, helped the economic recovery, and acted on the climate crisis and immigration reform. In foreign policy, Biden talked about standing with US allies. When asked about his age, Biden humorously pointed out that he spent the first part of his career being told he was too young.

Biden talked facts, reason, and promoted democracy. While Trump talked lies, dogma, and refused to unconditionally accept the results of this November’s election.

Frank Bowers, Des Moines

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Katherine Miller

Katherine Miller

Opinion Writer and Editor, reporting from Chesapeake, Va.

The Vast Blur of a Trump Rally

Toward the end of Donald Trump’s post-debate rally on Friday in Chesapeake, Va., when the crowd had been out in the sun and heat for hours and seemed to be powering down, he brought up the Supreme Court’s ruling in the Jan. 6 obstruction cases . A huge cheer went up for the overall subject and the crew he calls the Jan. 6 hostages — a “U.S.A., U.S.A.” chant even started.

On Friday morning, after the catastrophe that was Thursday night’s debate, a few people texted me suggesting that I would really be in for something at the Trump rally in Virginia today.

And the crowd was big and the mood jubilant, right down to the soundtrack, which exclusively consisted of high-emotion songs from bygone times: “Time of My Life,” “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” “Dancing Queen,” “Nothing Compares 2 U,” Elvis, Adele. People were decked out in July 4 colors: American flag ball caps, cowboy hats, bandannas, T-shirts, shorts, and flowing tops.

Before Trump, they’d heard comments from a slew of former and current Republican candidates, as well as the national anthem, and gentle remarks from a Gold Star father who recited the Pledge of Allegiance. From the stage, a good number of speakers described Joe Biden’s debate performance in brutal terms.

At larger outdoor Trump rallies, the campaign centers on Trump, and flanks him with two giant screens. On Friday, the effect was to only see Trump, red, white and blue. In the center of the stage and especially on the screens, there he was in a red cap, white shirt and navy suit. And behind him, when a cheer would go up, the people held up blue signs with “TRUMP” written on them, and white signs with his mug shot staring out. The only thing you could see then, was Trump, his face, and his name, and the colors of the flag.

Trump himself, speaking for more than an hour, talked at length in the anti-migrant and anti-Biden ways that are very familiar, running through topic after topic (at one point, he started talking about the worst tornadoes in history). But he did not really focus on any one thing or even, really, what most people are talking about today: the debate. He went on longer, it seemed, than the crowd had been looking for.

But this is how it is with Trump, especially the closer you are to him, and especially when he was president, where everything just blurs into one long, immersive, experience until you look up and he’s talking about freeing the Jan. 6 prisoners while the “U.S.A.” chant rolls on.

Jesse Wegman

Jesse Wegman

Editorial Board Member

Businesses Cheer Their New Freedom to Violate Regulations

At this rate the Supreme Court is going to need a few more justices just to keep up with all the extra litigation it’s generating on its way to dismantling the administrative state.

On Friday morning the right-wing supermajority overturned one of the court’s most frequently cited precedents and dealt the second blow in two days to the basic infrastructure of American government, voting 6 to 3 to overrule what’s known as the Chevron doctrine .

Named after an oil company case, the doctrine — a decades-old “cornerstone of administrative law,” in the dissent’s words — gave federal agencies the flexibility to interpret ambiguous laws without constant second-guessing by the courts, which deferred to those interpretations as long as they were reasonable. It was adopted, as Justice Elena Kagan wrote in her dissent , for a simple reason: Congress’s laws “will inevitably contain ambiguities that some other actor will have to resolve, and gaps that some other actor will have to fill. And it would usually prefer that actor to be the responsible agency, not a court.”

This may sound complicated, but it’s central to the functioning of modern government regulation. The Chevron doctrine, she explained, has been the key to “keeping air and water clean, food and drugs safe, and financial markets honest.”

To the court’s conservative majority, however, it was just another example of deep-state bloat. “Agencies have no special competence,” Chief Justice John Roberts wrote for the court. The problem with this is not only that it’s wrong, but that it was the courts that developed the Chevron doctrine in the first place. In addition to respecting Congress’s intent, they were sick and tired of trawling through thousands of pages of federal law to understand how everything fit together.

Most Americans have no idea how many executive agencies there are, or how complex and technical much of their work is, but the courts do. Now all the tangled questions of law and policy will wind up back in their courtrooms, yet they’re no more equipped to answer them than they were 40 years ago.

This doesn’t have to be a left-right issue. At the start, it wasn’t even controversial. As I noted in response to Thursday’s equally destructive administrative-state ruling, Justice Antonin Scalia, the conservative stalwart, defended the Chevron doctrine’s value, saying in 1989 that it “accurately reflects the reality of government” and “adequately serves its needs.”

It does not, however, serve the needs of America’s business community, which looks at the slew of federal regulations and sees only reduced profits. Deep-pocketed businesses have been the staunchest opponents of the doctrine; along with a raft of committed right-wing activists, they finally managed to get enough like-minded friends on the Supreme Court to kill it off.

Those businesses are predictably thrilled with Friday’s ruling, the practical effect of which will be to save them money by scaring off agencies from imposing regulations that they know will be tied up in endless litigation. The rest of us — at least those of us who drink water, eat food, pay taxes, drive cars, buy products and breathe air — will increasingly be left to fend for ourselves.

An earlier version of this article misidentified the author of the dissent in the Chevron doctrine case. It was Justice Elena Kagan, not Justice Sonia Sotomayor.

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Jonathan Alter

Jonathan Alter

Contributing Opinion Writer

How the Democrats Should Replace Biden

Two weeks ago, a pillar of the Democratic leadership on Capitol Hill told me that if President Biden performed poorly in Thursday night’s debate, Democrats would yank him as a candidate. They simply cannot let him pull down the entire ticket and turn the country over to a would-be dictator.

That fear, as viewers saw on national television, was borne out, and now panicking senior Democrats have a decent shot at prevailing upon the president to withdraw. He should do so gracefully and instruct his delegates to vote for whoever is chosen in Chicago, where the Democratic convention opens on Aug. 19.

That move would have the short-term advantage of wrecking the Republican convention, which opens in Milwaukee on July 15. The G.O.P. plans to spend four days savaging Biden. If he dropped out, Republicans would have to explain what they want to do for the country, and the public would realize the only answer is: nothing but harm it in unpopular ways.

Biden could help maximize the power of his withdrawal by laying down a few ground rules for the Democrats, which — given his control of delegates and his status as a beloved elder statesman — would very likely be obeyed:

None of the candidates in the next seven weeks — about the typical length of European campaigns, by the way — may attack rivals or spend money on their own campaigns that will be needed in the fall against Donald Trump. If any do, Biden will come out against them.

Only those with a certain threshold of support in polls may take part in any Democratic debates to be scheduled before the convention.

Each qualifying candidate will be granted a half-hour address on the opening night of the convention, with the winner expanding on it in his or her acceptance speech.

The delegates should take into consideration — though not be bound by — state and national polls showing the relative strengths of the candidates.

The candidates should identify possible running mates.

Unlike the 2020 primaries, this summer’s contest would include no viable candidates from the party’s left wing. Two senators, Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, are too old and have said they aren’t running, nor is anyone from the Squad. If they change their minds, Biden should come out against them.

Some analysts say the delegates would nominate Vice President Kamala Harris. Perhaps, but if she was outshined in speeches and debates this summer by Gov. Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan, Gov. Gavin Newsom of California, Gov. Josh Shapiro of Pennsylvania, Gov. J.B. Pritzker of Illinois, Secretary of Commerce Gina Raimondo, Senator Amy Klobuchar, Senator Cory Booker or a dark-horse candidate, Harris probably wouldn’t be the nominee.

Like the bosses of old — and this is how nominees were chosen until the 1960s — Democrats have a political obligation to pick the candidate most likely to win. This becomes a moral obligation in an election in which democracy is on the line.

Rather than a chaotic mess, an open convention would create enormous excitement that would propel the nominee into the fall campaign. And without Biden to trash, Trump would try to slam a new nominee. But after chasing a moving target of possible rivals over the summer, he would have only a short time to make anything stick.

One thing is for sure: Whoever would prevail in Chicago would be a stronger candidate than Biden, who cannot reverse the verdict that he is too old to serve.

W.J. Hennigan

W.J. Hennigan

Opinion Writer

Voters Must Decide Who Should Be the King of America’s Nuclear Monarchy

Many Americans watched the first debate of the 2024 presidential election in shocked disbelief as President Biden and Donald Trump bickered, often incomprehensibly, over their mental acuities, legal troubles and golf handicaps.

The disappointing back and forth served as a stark reminder that one of them, as the nation’s commander in chief, could have unilateral decision-making power to wage nuclear war.

The United States has a nuclear monarchy. Only the president can decide whether to use nuclear weapons. That power is absolute; he or she does not need to consult Congress, the courts or senior advisers, as Times Opinion explored in our series At the Brink , about the modern nuclear threat.

The American president’s sole authority to launch nuclear weapons began in practice on Aug. 10, 1945 — just days after the United States dropped atomic bombs on the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki — when President Harry Truman ordered that such an action could not be taken without the White House’s direct order. It has remained in the Oval Office ever since.

Polling from last August found that 61 percent of Americans said they were uncomfortable with the nuclear sole-authority power. As I wrote in March , “Putting so much unchecked power in the hands of one person is not only risky but also deeply antithetical to how America defines itself.”

In the months ahead, voters will have to decide which person they prefer to make that decision. Biden, who is 81, and Trump, who is 78, would be the oldest candidates in the nation’s history to appear on their parties’ tickets.

Under law, neither man’s age would allow him to pilot a commercial airliner . Or serve in command as a military officer . Or be appointed as an appellate judge in most U.S. states. And in Trump’s case, because of his felony conviction, he is not allowed to own a gun.

Both men are, however, still eligible to control the deadliest weapon arsenal known to man.

Michelle Cottle

Michelle Cottle

Which Joe Biden Is the Real One?

Well, that was adequate.

President Biden seemed back to his base-line self at Friday’s rally in Raleigh, N.C., his first appearance after Thursday night’s debate debacle.

He came out onstage holding Jill Biden’s hand, which was adorable but also helped deflect attention from his stiff gait. He still had a nasty cough, but the eye twinkle and the smile were back. And when other people were speaking, his resting face looked way less slack-jawed. His voice was stronger, his energy level higher and his speech crisper. He didn’t seem frazzled by the hecklers in the crowd who kept interrupting him and who were in turn drowned out by the chants of “Four more years!”

And, yes, reading from a prompter, he managed to deliver a perfectly coherent case against Donald Trump, with an emphasis on the threat Trump poses to women’s reproductive rights, the rule of law and the foundations of American democracy.

It wasn’t a glorious speech. (Donald “Herbert Hoover” Trump”? Seriously, man?) But he did get in a couple of hard jabs about Trump as a felon and an inveterate liar.

For me, the most interesting bit was his reference to last night’s meltdown. “I know I’m not a young man, to state the obvious,” he told the crowd. “I don’t walk as smoothly as I used to. I don’t speak as smoothly as I used to. And I don’t debate as well as I used to. But I know what I do know. I know how to tell the truth. I know right from wrong. I know how to do this job. I know how to get things done. I know what millions of Americans know: When you get knocked down, you get back up.”

Translation: Everyone has a bad night now and then, and I have every intention of soldiering on.

He then gave the crowd his word “as a Biden” that if he didn’t believe with all his “heart and soul” that he could do this job, he wouldn’t be running.

Um, fantastic? Except that Biden’s belief in his fitness is not the issue, per se. The problem is the yawning gap between his belief and the direct observations of so very many voters.

The Supreme Court Gives a Hand to Hundreds of Jan. 6 Rioters

In a perfect world, Congress would have long ago made a law specifically prohibiting a violent attack on the U.S. Capitol incited by the sitting president in an attempt to block the certification of an election he lost fair and square.

Congress never made such a law, nor has it made countless other laws to cover other scenarios that might one day occur. That would be impossible. Instead, as anyone who has ever tried to make a law knows, you craft general language that can be adapted to specific circumstances later.

That’s not good enough, a majority of the Supreme Court said on Friday morning . In ruling for Joseph Fischer — who was convicted of obstruction for being part of the mob that broke into the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, to stop the counting of electoral votes and keep Donald Trump in office — the court decided that federal prosecutors wrongly relied on an Enron-era law that covered only the intentional destruction of physical documents.

The law in question applies to anyone ​​who corruptly “alters, destroys, mutilates or conceals a record, document or other object,” or who “otherwise obstructs, influences or impedes any official proceeding, or attempts to do so.”

This sounds very much like what the Jan. 6 rioters did, as Justice Amy Coney Barrett wrote in a dissent joined by Justices Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor. “Blocking an official proceeding from moving forward surely qualifies as obstructing or impeding the proceeding by means other than document destruction,” Barrett wrote. And yet the majority executed what she described as a series of “textual back flips” by narrowly interpreting the meaning and placement of the word “otherwise.” Why? Because, she wrote, “it simply cannot believe that Congress meant what it said.”

The court’s ruling overturns only Fischer’s conviction, but it will require revisiting the charges against about 350 Jan. 6 rioters under the same law, including some of the most serious cases of the 1,450 people who have been charged to date. It’s also a law the special counsel, Jack Smith, has charged Trump with violating, among other charges in the indictment. ( It’s not clear whether the decision will require dropping the obstruction charges against Trump.)

That brings us to the deeper problem with Friday’s ruling, which is that we can neither legislate nor prosecute our way to a healthier democracy. Those who stormed the Capitol (whom Trump still refers to as “political prisoners” and promises to pardon if elected) should of course be punished. But whatever happens to them, the man most responsible for the events of that day stands on the cusp of being elected to the White House once again.

That’s why the real blame here lies not with the prosecutors or even the court; it lies with the Senate Republicans who refused to hold Trump to account in the weeks after Jan. 6. Had they voted to convict him following his impeachment, he would not now be eligible to run for president. No federal law, however well written, can make up for political cowardice like that.

Meher Ahmad

Meher Ahmad

Opinion Staff Editor

The Court Forces America’s Homeless to Stay Awake or Be Arrested

The Supreme Court has issued its most direct ruling in decades on the rights of more than half a million people experiencing homelessness in the United States, and it sets a devastating precedent. Now laws that punish people without shelter from sleeping on the streets have a stamp of approval from the highest court in the country.

A divided court ruled in favor of Grants Pass, Ore., a city that seeks to bar people without homes from sleeping in public within the city limits, even if shelter space isn’t available. The majority opinion, written by Justice Neil Gorsuch, claims criminalizing sleeping outside does not criminalize people based on their status. It makes no difference, he writes, if the person is “experiencing homelessness, a backpacker on vacation or a student who abandons his dorm room to camp out in protest on the lawn of a municipal building.”

So-called camping bans — ordinances that prohibit sleeping in public places with blankets, cardboard boxes, tents and vehicles — have proliferated across the country, in reaction to skyrocketing rates of homelessness since the Covid-19 pandemic. This February, Times Opinion spoke to dozens of people across the country experiencing homelessness to better understand their day-to-day realities. Laws that criminalize aspects of homelessness have become a go-to for local governments looking for a quick solution to growing street homelessness. Many of the people we spoke to had been fined or even jailed for sleeping outside.

Homelessness is a manifestation of the many ways the American underclass succumbs to poverty — through the housing and affordability crisis, health care costs and the collapse of welfare systems that once helped Americans on the margins. Bans like the one in Grants Pass ignore these converging forces, instead criminalizing the people who are living through these crises for surviving with whatever means they have left.

The court’s decision is written with a great deal of sympathy for cities and towns. Even Justice Sonia Sotomayor’s dissenting opinion gives credence to the feeling that local governments are ill equipped to handle the swelling population of people living without shelter across the country. But, she says, “the majority focuses almost exclusively on the needs of local governments and leaves the most vulnerable in our society with an impossible choice: Either stay awake or be arrested.”

Sleep, she noted, “is a biological necessity, not a crime.”

That cruel choice could now be one that thousands of people across the country could make every night. With this ruling, the court has failed to understand the cruelty of what it means to be homeless in America. That the Supreme Court can’t see them as worthy of a basic right — seeking a place to lay their head at night — speaks to the growing chasm between the people living out America’s policy failures and the people enforcing them.

Paul Krugman

Paul Krugman

Opinion Columnist

The Best President of My Adult Life Needs to Withdraw

Joe Biden has done an excellent job as president. In fact, I consider him the best president of my adult life. Based on his policy record, he should be an overwhelming favorite for re-election.

But he isn’t, and on Thursday night he failed to rise to the occasion when it really mattered. I could and would complain about the lack of real-time fact-checking as Donald Trump spewed a fire hose of lies and about the general prevalence of theater criticism taking the place of policy analysis. But complaining about those things right now isn’t going to save American democracy in this moment of crisis.

Given where we are, I must very reluctantly join the chorus asking Biden to voluntarily step aside, with emphasis on the “voluntary” aspect. Maybe some Biden loyalists will consider this a betrayal, given how much I have supported his policies, but I fear that we need to recognize reality.

Step aside for whom? Kamala Harris was, by all accounts, an effective district attorney and attorney general, and she has also been quietly effective as vice president, promoting Biden’s policies. Choosing her as his successor would in no sense be settling for less.

It’s true that she didn’t do well in the 2020 Democratic primaries, but her problem then, as I saw it, was that she had a hard time making the case for choosing her over other candidates. She would have no problem making the case for choosing her over Trump.

Maybe some American voters aren’t ready for a Black woman to be president. But I’d like to think better of us than that, and there are several excellent governors she could choose as a running mate.

In any case, although I hate to see Biden in this position, he’s a good man, and I hope he’ll do the right thing.

Nicholas Kristof

Nicholas Kristof

President Biden, I’ve Seen Enough

President Biden is a good man who capped a long career in public service with a successful presidential term. But I hope he reviews his debate performance Thursday evening and withdraws from the race, throwing the choice of a Democratic nominee to the convention in August.

One of the perils facing this country, I believe and Biden believes, is the risk of a victory by Donald Trump. And after the debate, it’s hard to avoid the feeling that Biden remaining in the race increases the likelihood that Trump will move into the White House in January.

Biden has never been a great debater, but his voice and manner didn’t put to rest the doubts about his age and effectiveness. Rather, he amplified them. I happened to chat today with a woman who is undecided about whom to vote for — she says she distrusts both Trump and Biden but will choose based on who will do better for the economy — and I bet that now she will be supporting Trump.

In some sense, this may be unfair. This was one debate. A candidate’s physical frailty, hoarse voice and rambling responses may not be good predictors of how that person will govern. But in this election, they probably are good predictors that the candidate will lose in November and not have a chance to govern again.

We see the world through narratives, and one of the narratives about Biden is that he is too old. His performance reinforced that narrative when he needed to shatter it. Biden, unable to puncture Trump’s repeated falsehoods, allowed a convicted felon to win the debate.

Biden can resolve this by withdrawing from the race. There isn’t time to hold new primaries, but he could throw the choice of a successor to the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. The Democratic Party has some prominent figures who I think would be in a good position to defeat Trump in November, among them Gov. Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan, Senator Sherrod Brown of Ohio and Gina Raimondo, the secretary of commerce. And there are many others.

My phone has been blowing up with texts from people saying, as one put it: “Dear God. What are we going to do?” Another, also a fan of Biden, texted: “It’s imperative we change horses.” But Democrats have been reluctant to say this out loud and undermine Biden. So it will be up to Joe and Jill Biden to make this choice themselves.

This will be a wrenching choice. But, Mr. President, one way you can serve your country in 2024 is by announcing your retirement and calling on delegates to replace you, for that is the safest course for our nation.

David Firestone

David Firestone

Deputy Editor, the Editorial Board

Biden’s Truth Was Overshadowed by His Stumbles

The president who walked haltingly to the podium as the debate began Thursday night was not State of the Union Joe Biden. There was no sign of the joy and fire that he brought to his speech before Congress in March, which briefly brought life to the hopes of Democrats that Biden had the vitality to run this race.

Instead, his voice was hoarse, he stumbled over facts, and occasionally he seemed to lose his train of thought and became a little incoherent. You could almost hear the whispered gasps of his supporters across the country.

And yet, despite his terrible delivery, Biden was at least telling voters the truth. Donald Trump might have looked more healthy and sounded more energetic, but what came out of his mouth was a mix of word foam and outright lies.

Trump said he never got any credit for getting the country out of the Covid-19 pandemic. Of course he didn’t; his policies and lack of action made the pandemic far worse. He dismissed the huge job gains under Biden as “bounce back” jobs, as if they would have happened automatically, when in fact they were created by Biden’s huge investments and skillful handling of pandemic recovery.

Trump said everyone wanted to end Roe v. Wade, which is nonsense, and stunningly claimed that “the country is now coming together” on abortion, which he said has been a “great thing.”

Biden summoned the strength to call this stuff “foolishness” and “malarkey,” adding that “everything he just said was a lie.” He noted forcefully that the economy was “flat on its back” when he took over from Trump. He reminded the world that Trump was a felon and had encouraged the rioters of Jan. 6.

But the substance (or lack of it) of what the two men said at the beginning of the debate was heavily overshadowed by the way they said it. Biden did nothing to change the minds of those voters who feel he is no longer up to the job, and his performance on Thursday night may mean that many Americans won’t pay attention to whether his thoughts and his actions were the right ones.

Patrick Healy

Patrick Healy

Deputy Opinion Editor

I’m Hearing High Anxiety From Democrats Over Biden’s Debate Performance

Within the first half-hour of the presidential debate, I heard from three veteran Democratic presidential campaign officials, and all of them had the same reaction to President Biden’s performance: This is a disaster.

By the end of the debate, I was hearing a level of anxiety and alarm from those Democrats and several other party leaders and operatives that I’d never seen in 20 years of covering presidential politics. The discussion turned squarely to the need for the Democratic Party to replace Biden as the 2024 nominee, with four months to go to the election, and how to make that happen.

Could former President Barack Obama talk him out of the race? Could Chuck Schumer, the Senate majority leader and an old friend? Most of the Democrats agreed that only Jill Biden and the president’s family, and his longtime close aides , could get Biden to reconsider the race.

The Democratic panic was, on one level, a little shocking, given how much Donald Trump lied during Thursday’s debate and, more broadly, because of the threat that Trump poses to American democracy. Trump has already betrayed the Constitution, and Thursday night he wouldn’t promise to accept the 2024 election results and gave a weak answer about opposing political violence. He got worse as the debate went on, hurling unhinged attacks on Biden, even calling him a “Manchurian candidate.” His relative steadiness in the first 30 minutes started coming undone.

But the danger of a second Trump presidency is exactly what is fueling the panic. Democrats say Trump must be stopped. The Democratic nominee must stop him. And what we saw Thursday night was a Democratic president who could not effectively respond to Trump or deliver a memorable line — even when he rightly said of Trump, “Something snapped in you when you lost the last time.”

It wasn’t just that Biden wasn’t landing a glove on Trump on the economy, the overturning of Roe v. Wade, Covid, taxes, temperament or anything else that was coming up in the questioning. It was Biden’s voice (low and weak) and facial expression (frozen, mouth open, a few smirks) with answers that were rambling or vague or ended in confusion. He gave remarks about health care and abortion that didn’t make strong points, giving Trump a chance to say lines like, “I really don’t know what he said at the end of that sentence. I don’t think he knows what he said, either.”

Biden is only three years older than Trump, but he looked and sounded 20 years older. One Democratic National Committee official told me before the debate that Biden’s age was Democrats’ biggest problem and texted on Thursday night, “Things have gone from bad to worse.”

One of the other Democrats said Biden looked scared during the debate as he listened to Trump. Another said it was an “emperor has no clothes” performance. The third said of the performance overall, “Don’t ask.”

Several others said that Biden had to drop out and that a governor — Gavin Newsom, Andy Beshear, Gretchen Whitmer, Josh Shapiro — needed to seek the nomination at an open convention. One said that Vice President Kamala Harris was a key player and voice now in any outcome but not to assume she would be a post-Biden nominee.

None of the Democrats counseled patience or said that the pundits or instant reaction was off base. But I am mindful of how things change. There was anxiety after Obama’s first, bad debate performance against Mitt Romney in 2012. There was confidence in Hillary Clinton’s debate performances against Trump in 2016. There are four months to go before the election, and candidates can recover. Trump being Trump, he has plenty of time to do damage to himself.

Frank Luntz, a veteran focus-group moderator who was holding a live focus group with undecided voters during the debate, wrote of their reactions after the first half-hour of the debate: “The group is so bothered by Biden’s voice and appearance. But they’re getting madder and madder with Trump’s personal attacks.”

“If Trump talks less,” Luntz said, “he wins. If Biden doesn’t stop talking, he loses.”

After the debate was over, Luntz wrote: “Twelve out of 14 say they are now leaning Trump. One chose Biden and one didn’t move. This is an unmitigated disaster for the Democrats.”

New York Times Opinion

New York Times Opinion

What Maureen Dowd, Tom Friedman and Other Opinion Writers Would Ask at the Debate

The CNN moderators get to ask the questions of President Biden and Donald Trump at Thursday night’s debate, but our Opinion writers have a few suggestions of their own.

Binyamin Appelbaum, editorial board member: What steps would you take as president to increase housing production in the United States?

Charles Blow, Opinion columnist: Mr. Trump, how would your policies on the war in Gaza differ from President Biden’s?

Michelle Cottle, Opinion writer: What do both of you say to the significant bloc of voters who are not enthusiastic about their electoral choices this election, who want fresh blood and something/someone different?

Ross Douthat, Opinion columnist: The last few years have seen an accelerating decline in birthrates all around the developed world. This is bad news for economic prosperity and also a national security challenge: If current trends continue, the population of a close American ally like South Korea could be cut in half by later in the 21st century. What, if anything, should be the U.S. government’s response to this mounting demographic challenge?

Maureen Dowd, Opinion columnist: Mr. Trump, it’s been reported that you said Mike Pence should be hanged, due to his conduct on Jan 6. Do you still feel that way?

Mr. Biden, women are being stripped of their rights and you’re running against a felon, yet you’re having a hard time pulling even. Doesn’t that undermine your claim that you’re the best Democrat to beat Trump?

Thomas L. Friedman, Opinion columnist: What was the biggest mistake you made in your four years as president that you absolutely will not repeat if elected again?

What will you do if you win to unite the country and persuade those who did not vote for you that they have nothing to fear from your presidency?

Patrick Healy, deputy Opinion editor: Do you think inflation is getting better or getting worse for Americans?

What’s something that young voters in America should know about you that they might not know?

You’ve both been called fascists by some voters. What do you think about that word, and do you think your opponent is a fascist?

Paul Krugman, Opinion columnist: Mr. Trump, why was your prediction that electing Biden would cause a stock market crash so wrong?

Nicholas Kristof, Opinion columnist: One of the worst things that could unfold in the next administration would be a war with China, so how do you propose to navigate the fine line of deterring but not provoking China? If China blockaded Taiwan, would you order the U.S. Navy to break the blockade?

If China continues to pressure the Philippines in the South China Sea, would you dispatch ships to back the Philippines and confront China? And if we found ourselves losing a conventional war with China, would you reach for nuclear weapons?

Pamela Paul, Opinion columnist: What would both of you tell the graduating seniors at Newtown High School about your plans on gun control?

Farah Stockman, editorial board member: It’s been more than two years since Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine, and Russia has put its entire economy on a war footing. The tide appeared to be turning against Ukraine, partly because of the Republicans’ decision to block aid for so long, thanks to opposition by Mr. Trump. How would you bring about an acceptable ending to the war?

Zeynep Tufekci, Opinion columnist: Mr. Trump, you continue to deny the results of the 2020 election. If you don’t respect the will of the people, the bedrock of democracy, how can Americans trust that you will not abuse the vast powers of the presidency to benefit yourself?

President Biden, you got elected on promises to do better than President Trump on the coronavirus pandemic that started in China, and yet your administration seems to be doing too little to stop a potential new pandemic from emerging from the United States. An outbreak of the dangerous H5N1 bird flu virus among dairy cows in the United States is spreading to humans. How can you reassure the American people given this situation?

We invite readers to submit debate questions they would ask by using our comments section.

Peter Coy

Beware the Billionaire Blinders

The new issue of Bloomberg Businessweek (its first as a monthly) includes a delicious profile of the libertarian billionaire Jeff Yass, a co-founder of the giant trading firm Susquehanna International Group, who once boldly declared: “What’s the difference between a billionaire and a guy that’s making $100,000 a year? They’re both at home watching Netflix. And they’re both on their iPhones.”

This is right in one way and so wrong in others.

To Yass’s credit, I’m guessing that most of the time, his life really is not that different from the lives of the millionaires and thousandaires who surround him. Get up, go to work, watch Netflix, go to bed. The best things in life are free: the sun in the morning, the moon at night, the occasional solar eclipse . Or almost free: Donald Trump chows down on McDonald’s just like people with a billionth of his net worth.

But Yass’s message — that inequality is a mostly solved problem — is absurd. The Bloomberg Businessweek story cites a 2022 interview with Yass by the Adam Smith Society, in which Yass also said:

“In America, not around the rest of the world, but we’re getting there,” Yass said, “everybody has all the stuff they need. No one’s hungry, no one’s cold, no one doesn’t have some basic, uh, health insurance, so the rising tide gets rid of the real inequality.”

Let’s start with “no one’s hungry.” According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, in 2022 nearly seven million American households experienced “very low food security,” meaning that “normal eating patterns of one or more household members were disrupted and food intake was reduced at times during the year because they had insufficient money or other resources for food.”

I could go on with “no one’s cold” (what about the unhoused?) or no one doesn’t have health insurance, but you get the idea. One of Yass’s mistakes, I guess, is that he simply can’t fathom anyone earning less than $100,000 a year (a sum substantially higher than the median income ).

Billionaires have their own special kinds of woes, to be sure. Yass, for example, is struggling to keep the federal government from banning TikTok, since he’s a major investor in its parent, ByteDance. But that’s nothing compared with the struggles of ordinary Americans just to make ends meet each month.

No, Jeff, it’s not true that “everybody has all the stuff they need.”

The Supreme Court Neuters a Vital Public Watchdog

The Supreme Court’s right-wing supermajority talks a lot about the importance of history and tradition in deciding cases. And yet as those six justices made clear once again on Thursday morning in one of the biggest cases of the current term, only certain histories and certain traditions matter.

The decision, in Securities and Exchange Commission v. Jarkesy , struck down the S.E.C.’s use of in-house judges to bring enforcement actions against securities fraud. The Seventh Amendment guarantees the right to a jury trial in civil cases, the majority wrote, which means arrangements like the S.E.C.’s — which Congress explicitly created and which are also used by roughly two dozen other agencies — are unconstitutional. If the agency wants to go after securities fraud, it will have to go to federal court.

The problem with this neat-sounding conclusion is that it ignores two centuries of well-established practice to the contrary. When a lawsuit involves the protection of rights of the public generally, juries have never been required. As the Supreme Court affirmed in a 1977 case , Congress’s power to give executive-branch agencies the first stab at adjudicating and imposing civil penalties has been “settled judicial construction … from the beginning.”

Thursday’s ruling is thus “a seismic shift in this court’s jurisprudence,” Justice Sonia Sotomayor wrote in a dissent joined by Justices Elena Kagan and Ketanji Brown Jackson. Its impact will reach far beyond securities fraud, hamstringing similar tribunals in agencies responsible for the environment, public health, food and consumer safety, worker protections and much more.

This is, naturally, the whole point. Led by Justice Neil Gorsuch, the Supreme Court’s conservatives have been engaged in a multipronged assault on the administrative state, which they consider part of a bloated and unaccountable federal government. Their answer is to arrogate more power to themselves. Thursday’s decision, Sotomayor wrote, is “part of a disconcerting trend: When it comes to the separation of powers, this court tells the American public and its coordinate branches that it knows best.” She called it, in fact, a “power grab.”

What the majority refuses to acknowledge is that there is no way the federal courts can handle the volume and sophistication of cases that pass through those agencies.

The irony is that earlier right-wing justices understood that a modern, highly advanced society cannot operate without robust executive agencies. In 1989, Justice Antonin Scalia spoke out in defense of another longstanding administrative-state precedent that the Roberts court appears to be on the verge of crippling , saying it “accurately reflects the reality of government” and “adequately serves its needs.”

Of course, the modern right does not really want to eliminate the administrative state; it wants to control it. As Senator (and vice-presidential hopeful) J.D. Vance explained in 2022 , if Donald Trump is elected in 2024, he should “fire every single midlevel bureaucrat, every civil servant in the administrative state, replace them with our people.” If you are wondering who, exactly, “our people” are, then it’s not you.

Opinion Editor and Writer

How Conservative Swing Voters React to a Strong Anti-Abortion Push

Last year, five female legislators in South Carolina tried to stop an abortion ban with a filibuster. They were known as the “ sister senators ” — three Republicans, one Democrat and one independent. Ultimately, the effort failed , and abortion was banned after six weeks in the state.

And as of Tuesday night , all three Republicans have now officially lost to primary challengers this year.

One of the three, Sandy Senn, spoke with Jane Coaston last year for Times Opinion in an interview that’s worth reading front to back, because it dives into the details of the politics as seen through a very specific, gendered Republican viewpoint looking for consistency in policy and more democratic outcomes — and her frustration with men in government imposing a certain idea of what the law should be.

There’s obviously been plenty written about how much the Dobbs decision scrambled conservative politics, how much the anti-abortion movement has struggled with what have turned out to be unpopular policies when put to statewide ballots and how chaotic the courts are now on this subject. But it’s been less clear how much this might reshape the makeup of the parties in the long term. Senn had a prediction about it.

“In reality, we lose elections because this is a losing issue and we lose people that are in the middle,” she told Coaston last year. “People who had previously leaned to the right are now going to lean to the left.”

Along those lines, this week a top Biden campaign official, Jen O’Malley Dillon, made a point to John Heilemann on Puck about persuadable voters, pairing the Dobbs decision and, essentially, Nikki Haley primary voters — a linkage I had not seen made before.

“There’s a whole new cohort that has come in since 2020, who were not available to us [then] who we saw vote in 2022, post-Dobbs,” O’Malley Dillon said. “They are the same people who, in primary after primary on the Republican side, protested Donald Trump. And I definitely think they’re gettable. Is it a small number of states in the scheme of things and a small number of voters who ultimately are on the margins? Yes.”

I think many of these voters probably already voted for President Biden once or avoided voting anyone for president in 2020. That might be right or wrong. But regardless, there is something interesting about what is essentially a practical, smaller-government conservatism of gender — even if it’s for a narrow slice of voters — that is ultimately very reactive to government power being used with aggression, through the prism of abortion policy.

Lauren Kelley

Lauren Kelley

Deputy Op-Ed Editor, News

Idaho Women Appear to Get a Reprieve on Abortion, for Now

As someone who closely follows both politics and reproductive rights, I’ve been very interested in seeing whether a particular Supreme Court decision about abortion would come out before Thursday night’s presidential debate.

On Wednesday, the draft text of the decision in Moyle v. United States and Idaho v. United States was accidentally posted on the Supreme Court website, Bloomberg News reported .

It’s unclear whether the decision that was posted is final, but if it is then it seems the court will soon vote 6 to 3 to effectively dismiss the cases. The real-world effect, at least in the short term, would be that emergency abortions will continue to be available in Idaho.

At issue in the case is whether a federal statute known as EMTALA , or the Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act — intended to ensure that anyone who walks into an emergency room will receive care, regardless of the ability to pay — applies in some circumstances in Idaho, which after Roe v. Wade’s demise enacted a near-total abortion ban. In simple terms, the question before the justices has been whether a pregnant woman in Idaho who is experiencing a medical emergency must be given an abortion, if that abortion would stabilize her health.

A ruling allowing Idaho to ignore EMTALA would be a big problem for Trump’s election, and if it came out before Thursday evening, it could have hurt him in the debate. Abortion has been Trump’s trickiest policy issue. Virtually every electoral data point since Roe was overturned makes clear that most voters do not like strict abortion bans. And Trump, who campaigned in 2016 on a promise to outlaw abortion, not only set in motion the series of events that led to a lot of strict abortion bans being passed around the country, he also bragged about it once the deed was done.

Biden has the upper hand on the issue regardless, but a different court decision ahead of the debate might have given him a gift tied up in bow.

For now, the important thing is that Idaho women appear to have a reprieve. But this isn’t necessarily the end of the story: The court could get another chance down the road to rule on the substance of this issue, just as it could get another chance to rule on access to abortion pills — another case the justices took up but ultimately punted on this term.

Because of Trump’s appointments to the Supreme Court, further threats to abortion remain on the table, regardless of who wins the advantage at the debate.

Anna Marks

Biden Restores Honor to Thousands of L.G.B.T.Q. Service Members

President Biden’s decision on Wednesday to pardon thousands of L.G.B.T.Q. service members who had been unfairly punished, discharged or court-martialed for their sexual orientation or gender identity was long overdue. His proclamation will restore benefits and honor to 2,000 or so service members, just atonement for the U.S. military’s long, discriminatory history against L.G.B.T.Q. Americans.

As documented by Allan Bérubé in his exhaustively researched book “ Coming Out Under Fire ,” a cruel, homophobic military culture was forged during World War II. Back then, those accused of homosexuality (often with flimsy or nonsensical evidence) could be subjected to systematic witch hunts, scurrilous interrogations, solitary confinement and “ queer stockades ” rife with harassment . Public discharge records meant that L.G.B.T.Q. service members were outed upon returning home, which inevitably led to further discrimination.

This culture was explicitly formalized after President Harry Truman created the Uniform Code of Military Justice in 1951, which prohibited “unnatural carnal copulation with another person of the same or opposite sex,” effectively criminalizing homosexuality. Over the following decades, L.G.B.T.Q. veterans became some of the country’s foremost L.G.B.T.Q. activists, and discriminatory military policies were among the community’s key targets. Their efforts culminated in the end of the notorious “ Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell ” policy in 2011.

When some of the government’s most prominent institutions declared that a group of people was inferior, many in the country came to believe it. Biden’s pardon, acknowledging flaws in the higher moral standing that the military has long claimed to espouse, redresses a historical harm and reinforces the idea that L.G.B.T.Q. Americans are not inferior.

But the commander in chief chose perhaps the most frictionless, election-friendly way to signal his support for the L.G.B.T.Q. community. And the rest of Washington is allowing another Pride Month to pass without reaching for more daring possibilities.

Congress has yet to pass the Equality Act, a measure supported by the president, which would expand the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to protect Americans from discrimination based on their sexual orientation and gender identity. To be frank, the bill has long seemed like a pipe dream, given a divided Congress and a mounting reactionary wave that targets queer people. But the president could do more to pressure both his allies on the Hill and his adversaries to end this overt discrimination.

The president has already earned the title of most pro-L.G.B.T.Q. president in history . But without a law in place, many of his efforts will only last as long as his presidency. What’s the point of attempting to deliver “the full promise of equality” if the next guy to sit behind the Resolute Desk can strip it away with the stroke of a pen?

Alito’s Frustrated Culture-War Diatribe

It often seems that Justice Samuel Alito would be happier swapping out his black robes for the garb of whichever right-wing plaintiffs have arrived before the court to air their culture-war grievances.

On Wednesday, Alito was at it again, dissenting at length from the court’s 6-to-3 decision that threw out a conservative challenge to the Biden administration. The White House had tried to counteract the reams of misinformation being spread on social media sites during the Covid pandemic and the aftermath of the 2020 election, urging social media sites to regulate what was allowed to be posted. Two Republican states and five private citizens cried “censorship!” and said the administration had infringed on their right to free expression, but the court’s majority said they had no right to bring the lawsuit.

Referring to the plaintiffs as “victims” of government censorship who “simply wanted to speak out on a question of the utmost public importance,” Alito wrote grandly, “if the lower courts’ assessment of the voluminous record is correct, this is one of the most important free speech cases to reach this court in years.”

That is a very big “if,” as the court’s majority noted in tossing the suit for lack of standing. Not only could the plaintiffs not show “any concrete link between their injuries and the defendants’ conduct,” but the lower courts’ assessment of the record was, in fact, far from correct. Many of the district court’s findings, on which the increasingly off-the-wall U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit relied, “unfortunately appear to be clearly erroneous,” Justice Amy Coney Barrett wrote for the court .

During oral arguments in the case, several justices expressed similar concerns with the loose relationship to the truth that Benjamin Aguiñaga, Louisiana’s solicitor general and one of the plaintiffs’ lawyers, had. “I have such a problem with your brief,” Justice Sonia Sotomayor told him. “You omit information that changes the context of some of your claims. You attribute things to people who it didn’t happen to.”

Aguiñaga said he was sorry “if any aspect of our brief was not as forthcoming as it should have been” — an unusually frank admission of dishonesty by a government official.

And yet his distortions appeared to pose no problem for Alito, who seemed as eager as any Facebook anti-vaxxer to trample basic facts and evidence in service of the right to spew dangerous lies in public without consequences. As Barrett pointed out regarding Jill Hines, one of the plaintiffs, Alito “draws links that Hines herself has not set forth, often based on injuries that Hines never claimed.”

Making up facts to reach the conclusion you want to reach isn’t a Supreme Court justice’s job, of course, but it’s entirely in character for a committed culture warrior.

Farah Stockman

Farah Stockman

The World Turns Its Eyes From the Suffering in Sudan

Two months ago, world leaders gathered in Paris and said all the right words about the horror unfolding in Sudan, where a vicious civil war has stolen the dreams of a proud and resilient people, leaving five million people on the brink of famine . In Paris, diplomats pledged $2.1 billion and condemned indiscriminate attacks on civilians, including children.

But nothing has changed.

“Sudan has become one of the world’s largest — and most ignored — man-made human tragedies,” my friend Tjada D’Oyen McKenna, chief executive officer of Mercy Corps , wrote to me recently.

In some cases, the dithering is maddeningly academic, mired in debate about whether the criteria for a famine declaration have been reached. In other cases, it seems that the concern was performative.

“A mere 12 percent of those pledges have been disbursed so far,” Tjada wrote. “Even as the situation is rapidly deteriorating.”

I must admit to being at a loss for what to say about such tragedies sometimes, with so much suffering in this world and so few good policy options. Sudan is a particular heartbreak : In 2019, a peaceful revolution led by doctors, mothers, activists and scholars toppled a longtime dictator in Khartoum, opening the door to what could have been a new and democratic era for the country. Instead, two selfish military leaders derailed the country’s democratic transition and then turned on each other, dragging the country back into a civil war.

But what continue to inspire me about Sudan are the community-based organizations that save lives by running informal soup kitchens and clinics out of their homes. They are the future of Sudan, if Sudan is to have a future. Good people around the world should support them by donating to reputable international organizations like Mercy Corps and Solidarités International that work closely with community groups that persevere, against all odds.

Pamela Paul

Pamela Paul

Jamaal Bowman Deserved to Lose

Update: George Latimer defeated Jamaal Bowman in the Democratic congressional primary on Tuesday.

In Tuesday’s primary election in the 16th Congressional District of New York, the Westchester County executive, George Latimer, is running against Representative Jamaal Bowman, a member of the House’s progressive “Squad.” The chatter has been all about campaign gaffes and fund-raising. But in this case, it should be about the merits of the candidates.

We’ve heard plenty about the outsize funding for Latimer, particularly from AIPAC, the pro-Israel lobbying group. The question said aloud by Bowman supporters has been, “Why so much money from a foreign government for a local congressional candidate?” The unspoken question has been, “Why are the Jews funding this candidate?”

We’ve also heard Bowman ridiculed for holding a rally in the South Bronx, which he does not represent. Onstage, Bowman proudly curs ed in a manner unbecoming to a public official. There’s also his schoolyard prank in the halls of Congress, pulling a fire alarm to stall a bill and then lying about it.

But let’s put aside money and manners. Let’s even put aside the war in Gaza, an issue on which the candidates strongly differ. (Latimer offers a centrist view broadly supportive of President Biden’s policy, while Bowman has taken a forceful pro-Palestinian stance.)

This election is about substantive issues relevant to the 16th District, which has been redrawn twice since Bowman’s 2020 win to include less of the Bronx and more of Westchester County. Bowman, elected to a largely different district, no longer represents the interests of his constituency.

He voted against Biden’s infrastructure bill, one of the administration’s key bipartisan successes and fundamental to Biden’s re-election, which hinges on independents and the center. By contrast, Latimer has shown himself successful in helping turn a largely Republican district blue and is supportive of abortion rights, gun control and other domestic issues aligned with his district.

This election is also about the future of the Democratic Party, pitting a centrist vision of the party, the growing resonance of which was recently demonstrated by the election of Tom Suozzi in Nassau County, against its progressive fringe. Notably, Hillary Clinton, a Westchester resident and moderate Democrat, has endorsed Latimer . This week, Representative Josh Gottheimer, a co-chair of the centrist Problem Solvers Caucus, also endorsed Latimer .

Bowman has proved himself out of sync with his district, and his re-election would take the Democratic Party in a losing direction. Equally important, based on his record, Jamaal Bowman does not deserve re-election.

Brent Staples

Brent Staples

A Brooklyn School District Finds a Path Toward Integration

Elected officials who prefer not to discuss the fact that New York City has one of the most segregated school systems in the United States could soon have no choice. A state appellate court has said that an anti-discrimination lawsuit can move forward.

The suit charges New York with maintaining a “racialized pipeline” through which gifted and talented programs and screening practices condemn many students of color to “neglected schools that deliver inferior and unacceptable outcomes.” If successful, this landmark legal challenge could remake admissions practices at selective public schools.

At the same time, in Brooklyn, a public school district that covers both poor and affluent neighborhoods has shown it is possible to integrate schools — without rancor or a mass exodus of white families — when parents and school officials value integration as a benefit in itself.

As my colleague Troy Closson explained last week, the remaking of Brooklyn’s District 15 began several years ago, when parents expressed a desire to integrate middle schools that were among the most homogeneous in the city. “Selective admissions were scrapped,” Closson wrote. “Every child got a lottery number instead. Schools adopted targets to admit certain numbers of disadvantaged children.” Middle schools set aside seats for students who were from low-income families, living in temporary housing or still learning English. Crucially, the schools fill incoming classes through a lottery, instead of using metrics like grades or attendance.

As a result, the district’s middle schools, which were the second-most socioeconomically segregated, improved to rank 19th out of the city’s 32 local districts. Teachers and students now say friendships are emerging across income lines, and a more diverse set of middle schoolers began taking state algebra exams.

Antonia Martinelli, a parent leader, told The Times: “We’ve managed to debunk this ‘good school-bad school’ narrative. Parents understand that they’re all great schools.”

Integration is hardly a cure-all, and challenges remain. But this example shows that breaking with segregation does not have to involve bitterness and decades of delays.

Frank Bruni

Frank Bruni

The Governor’s Race You Cannot Ignore

Partisan hit jobs. Left-wing smears. That’s how Mark Robinson’s aides characterize any attention to his diatribes against Jewish people , gay people, women. They want voters in North Carolina, where he is the Republican nominee for governor, to see him as just another conservative whose straight talk and religiousness come under predictable fire from the ambassadors of wokeness. Nothing to see here, folks, nothing but the usual disdain for MAGA might.

That’s a lie as big as any in an epoch of epic fabulism. And Robinson’s fate will be an especially revealing referendum on just how much, in the America of 2024, tribalism trumps common sense and common decency and voters tune out the truth.

The governor’s race pits Robinson, who’d be North Carolina’s first Black governor, against Josh Stein, the Democrat, who’d be its first Jewish one. To go by polls, it’s a dead heat . But the Stein campaign has only just begun its advertising blitz and three weeks ago released a whopper of an ad that spotlights Robinson’s 2019 remark that abortion “is about killing the child because you weren’t responsible enough to keep your skirt down.”

Robinson’s rants — mocking Paul Pelosi after he was attacked, suggesting that Michelle Obama is a man — are that hateful . And they’re the very foundation of his improbable political career: He was elected lieutenant governor of North Carolina in 2020 almost solely on the basis of a single speech in opposition to sensible restrictions on firearms. His work history included nothing — zilch — that prepared him for political leadership. But he could shout. He could spew.

He has spewed less of late. Ambition can be a gag. But his extremism remains so close to the surface that Paul Shumaker, a Republican strategist in North Carolina, was recently quoted in New York magazine as predicting that “Donald Trump will unendorse Mark Robinson by the time we get to Labor Day.”

Robinson should, indeed, be poison in this purple state. He should be struggling, too, given Stein’s bona fides: eight years as the state’s attorney general, before which he served in the State Senate and was a top aide to John Edwards in the U.S. Senate. There’s not a whiff of extremism about him. But late last month, The Cook Political Report changed its assessment of the Stein-Robinson race from leans Democratic to tossup. In any other year, I’d be shocked. In this one? I’m just terrified.

‘Are You Seeing Any New Signs Biden Can Beat Trump?’

Every Monday morning on The Point, we kick off the week with a tipsheet on the latest in the presidential campaign. Here’s what we’re looking at this week:

On Saturday my brother asked me a question with some urgency in his voice: “Are you seeing any new signs Biden can beat Trump?” My brother is a 63-year-old independent in Boston who says he “votes the person, not the party,” and thinks President Biden has done about the best anyone could at bringing America back from the disastrous Covid economy. He thinks Donald Trump would be a joke if he weren’t so dangerous.

I told him about some of Biden’s latest messaging and ads emphasizing that Trump is a convicted criminal and a new Fox News national poll that gives Biden a two percentage point lead over Trump and shows more voters feeling good about the economy. Then I said: “To answer your question — not really, no. Nothing game changing. That’s why the debate is so important.”

Biden has to find ways to make people want him for another four years. Being not Trump is not enough. Biden’s biggest problem is that a small but meaningful share of his own supporters — Biden 2020 voters, to be specific — don’t want to vote for him again and they are considering third-party candidates, sitting out the presidential election or voting for Trump.

Yes, political journalists always geek out on presidential debates and describe them as really big deals, but Thursday night’s debate is Biden’s best chance so far this year to start turning things around. He did well at his State of the Union, but it was a teleprompter speech, and I doubt many swing voters were swayed. (He didn’t get a lasting poll bounce.) Trump’s criminal conviction was good for Biden, but Biden hasn’t yet leveraged it to make voters want his decency all over again. An unscripted debate is his best shot and big test.

It’s the economy, really, that’s everything. Biden has to speak plainly and with humility and feeling about what people are experiencing in the economy and how he will address inflation. He can’t tell people what to feel or lapse into defensiveness — which is easier said than done in a debate, where the phrasing of a question or the tone or specifics of your opponent’s answer can send you off track. If Biden gets off track or has a senior moment or two, he will be judged harshly by the many voters who seem unwilling to give him credit for anything.

My bet is that Biden and Trump will acquit themselves pretty well on Thursday (with Trump benefiting from his mic being muted at times, reducing the opportunity for him to sound like a raving nut again). They know the stakes, and both will be a little nervous and rusty. They will probably stick to their core messages, so it comes down to what voters want to hear the most. As my colleague Ezra Klein recently noted , Trump is talking a lot more about inflation and immigration than people may realize, and he talks about it pretty effectively. If he shows some discipline (I know, I know) and persuasively makes it sound that America was better off during his first three years in office than it is now, he could have a good night. No one knows this more than Biden; he needs to play strong offense and even stronger defense, pointing to how bad things got under Trump. The Covid economic train wreck under Trump would be one place to start.

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  1. How to Write a Wedding Speech: Examples, Tips, and Advice

    On the roster to give a wedding speech? Public speaking experts provide tips on how to give the best toast at any wedding event. 90 years of expert advice and inspiration, for every couple.

  2. How to Write a Wedding Speech: Your Easy Step-by-Step Guide

    End with a toast. Cap off your speech on a fun and sentimental note by ending with an actual toast. Dalo recommends this foolproof example: "Please join me in raising a glass to the happy couple. Cheers to X and Y, and best wishes for a lifetime of laughter!" Afterward, go in for a hug with the couple, making for the perfect photo op!

  3. How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do's, Don'ts, and

    As soon as you know you've been asked to give a speech at the wedding, begin jotting down notes immediately. Whenever you're inspired by a thought of the couple or remember an anecdote that might be worth retelling, make note of it. ... All good speeches have a good flow and take the audience along with it. ...

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    Day 1 was a bit rough, but hey, they're over it now. I would also like to thank them for having such a beautiful, intelligent, kind, and caring daughter. I hope to do you both proud and thank you both for everything you have done today and to make today happen.". The groom's wedding speech starts at the reception.

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    While everyone's speech will be unique to them and their relationship with the couple, we put together a general outline to help you get started. Congratulate the couple. Express how happy you are ...

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    This should include: A special thank you to any guests who have travelled. A general thank you to everyone for attending. A special thank you to any loved ones who have helped you out with the wedding preparations (like your parents, bridal party or siblings) Light-hearted anecdotes.

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    Here are some tips on how to structure your wedding speech: Section. What to Include. Opening. Introduce yourself, your relationship to the couple, and thank them for inviting you. Body. Share a story or anecdote about the couple, offer words of wisdom or advice, and give a toast. Closing.

  12. How to Write a Wedding Speech: 13 Steps (with Pictures)

    Remember, the focus of your speech is the married couple. 2. Open with a joke. Start by telling a joke or recalling a humorous anecdote to loosen up the crowd (and yourself. Humor is very disarming, so getting everyone laughing right off the bat can help dispel some of the nerves of giving a speech.

  13. How to Give A Pitch-Perfect Wedding Speech

    To start, think about what resonates with you and the couple. Choose a quote that mirrors their relationship or adds a layer of intimacy to your speech that generic advice can't match. If the couple bonded over "The Lord of the Rings," slip in something from Tolkien that speaks to companionship on great journeys.

  14. How to Write a Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide

    Particularly if you mention a group of people in the room - look towards them and engage directly. If you make a joke, allow time for laughter to die down and smile in appreciation. There is no need to rush, the disco will wait. 3. Use body gestures to emphasise your wedding speech.

  15. Wedding Speeches: How to Write and Deliver a Memorable Toast

    Start with an attention-grabbing opening that will capture the audience's attention. Then, move on to the body of your speech, where you will share your thoughts, stories, and advice. Finally, end with a memorable conclusion and a toast to the newlyweds. Keep it Positive: A wedding is a joyous occasion, so keep your speech positive and uplifting.

  16. 17 Unique Wedding Speech Ideas to Leave Your To-Be-Weds Amazed

    15. Make Time for a Couple's Toast. It's common for the newlyweds to take the floor for a speech. Don't let nerves get the best of you and instead follow this couple's lead. We love this bride's wedding speech (and tasteful roast) to her husband, who originally didn't think they'd be a good match. 16.

  17. How to Deliver a Wedding Speech With Confidence

    Prepare to Deliver. 1 - Mic up. There's no use spending weeks slaving over your speech if no one can hear it. The acoustics in wedding venues are notoriously bad so test them out a couple of weeks in advance or get someone else to. Invest in a mic if the acoustics are questionable. Make sure you position the ball of the mic below your mouth ...

  18. Wedding Speech Tips: How to Give a Memorable Wedding Toast

    Level Up Your Team. See why leading organizations rely on MasterClass for learning & development. Wedding speech writing can be nerve-racking, especially for those who dread the thought of public speaking. If you're on deck to give a speech at a wedding soon, there's plenty you can do to prepare ahead of time.

  19. Ultimate Guide to Writing & Delivering a Great Wedding Speech or Toast

    In the good old days, wedding speeches were simple. You had the Father of the Bride and the Best Man. Each would get up, give a quick toast and it was over. ... If you take the standard order of wedding speeches, the Best Man will give his speech or toast first. He will toast the bride and groom and is, generally, the MC for the night. After ...

  20. 10 Steps to Writing the Perfect Wedding Speech

    Split each area of the speech into sections and brainstorm each part. For example, if a father of the bride wants to describe an endearing feature of his daughter, start with the feature and think of everything you can say about it and jot it down.". 2. Introduce Yourself.

  21. The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Speeches

    The bride's speech. The bride's speech is a less traditional part of a wedding ceremony, but it is becoming more common for the bride to give a speech at her wedding reception. The bride's speech is an opportunity for her to express her love and gratitude to her new husband, family, and friends. She may also thank the wedding planner and ...

  22. Short Wedding Speeches: Tips and Examples That Will Inspire You

    Wedding speeches are a long-time tradition of weddings. And, if you have an important role at a wedding, such as best man, father of the bride or maid of honor, you would be expected to give a speech. While the thought of giving a speech might be nerve-wracking, it might comfort you to know that the best speeches are short and sweet.

  23. How to Begin a Wedding Speech: The Best Opening Lines

    Wedding Speech Opening Lines: Simple and Sincere Opening Lines. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you (name) for the kind introduction." "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As (name's friend/relative), I'm delighted to welcome you all here tonight." "Thank you so much, (name), for such a wonderful introduction.

  24. The Ultimate Guide to the Father of the Bride Speech

    Top Tips for Writing Your Father of the Bride Speech. To help you deliver a memorable and touching speech, here are some top tips to guide you through the process. Ask for help: Don't hesitate to ask for advice from friends and family or look up examples online. Focus on a good introduction: A strong start sets the tone for the rest of your ...

  25. How to write a wedding speech as we hit peak marriage season

    This Sunday, June 23, is set to be one of the most popular wedding dates of the year with almost 4,000 marriages across the country in one day.

  26. How to Make a "Good" Presentation "Great"

    Whether you're pitching an idea, reporting market research, or sharing something else, a great presentation can give you a competitive advantage, and be a powerful tool when aiming to persuade ...

  27. After Halting Debate Performance, Biden Tries to Reassure Democrats at

    The comment elicited one of the crowd's most energized cheers during Mr. Trump's 90-minute speech. Then, in unison, his supporters began to chant, "U.S.A."

  28. Jill Biden supports Joe after debate: 'You did such a great job'

    First Lady Jill Biden gave President Joe Biden a warm welcome as he stepped on stage at an Atlanta hotel after Thursday's night debate.

  29. Joe Biden is too impaired to lead. Remove him from power, now

    Barbara Persoon, Pleasantville. More:Republicans deserve the version of Trump we saw during the debate.Too bad it won't last. This debate didn't reveal anything. My observation after having ...

  30. Conversations and insights about the moment.

    From the stage, a good number of speakers described Joe Biden's debate performance in brutal terms. At larger outdoor Trump rallies, the campaign centers on Trump, and flanks him with two giant ...