successful relationship essay

Essays About Relationships: Top 5 Examples Plus 8 Prompts

With rich essays about relationships plus prompts, this writing guide could help you contemplate relationships, including your own.

Healthy relationships come with the rewards of intimacy, love, and the support we need. Learning to preserve healthy relationships and throw out harmful ones is a critical skill to lead a successful life. That is exactly why Warren Buffet , one of the most successful investors, said the most important decision you will make is your choice of a significant partner. 

There are several types of relationships your essay could focus on in your next piece of writing. Take a leap and tackle intimate individual-level relationships or community or even global-level relationships. You might also be interested in our list of books to read after a breakup .

5 Essay Examples

1. relationship weight gain is real — and can be a sign of happiness by angela haupt, 2. what does it mean to be ‘ready’ for a relationship by julie beck, 3. why adult children cut ties with their parents by sharon martin, 4. a relationship under extreme duress: u.s.-china relations at a crossroads by michael d. swaine, 5. how to build strong business relationships — remotely by jeanne m. brett and tyree mitchell, 1. strengthening communication in relationships, 2. helping children build healthy friendships, 3. how social media affects our relationships , 4. establishing relationships with influencers, 5. importance of police-community relationships, 6. dealing with challenging work relationships, 7. promoting cross-cultural relationships among schools, 8. why do long-term relationships fail.

“…[A]mong those who had been married for more than four years, happy couples were twice as likely to put on weight than couples who reported not being as content with their relationship.”

Gaining pounds when you’re in a relationship is real. This essay backs it up with research and even seeks to answer who puts on the most pounds in the relationship. For those hoping to transform their lifestyle, the essay offers practical tips couples can do together to lose pounds while protecting the relationship and preserving the joy that brought them together. You might also be interested in these essays about divorce .

“Readiness, then, is not a result of achieving certain life milestones, or perfect mental health. And checking off items on a checklist doesn’t guarantee a relationship when the checklist is complete.”

People have a variety of reasons for not being ready to commit to a relationship. They may be more committed to developing their careers or simply enjoy the solitude of singlehood. But this essay debunks the concept of readiness for building relationships. Through interviews, one finds that relationships can happen when you least expect them. You might also be interested in these essays about reflection .

“Parent-child relationships, in particular, are expected to be unwavering and unconditional. But this isn’t always the case—some adults cut ties with or distance themselves from their parents or other family members.”

No matter how painful it is, some adults decide to cut off family members to heal from a toxic or abusive childhood relationship or protect themselves if the abuse or toxicity continues. In exploring the primary causes of estrangement, the well-researched essay shows that estrangement may run deep with years of conflict and many attempts to recover the relationship, rather than merely being the whim of selfish adults.

“…Beijing and Washington are transitioning from a sometimes contentious yet mutually beneficial relationship to an increasingly antagonistic, mutually destructive set of interactions.”

The essay charts the 40-year relationship between China and the US and points out how both parties have mutually benefited from the bilateral relations. This starkly contrasts Washington’s accusation that the relationship has been a zero-sum game, one of the numerous oft-heard allegations in the Washington community. But with the looming increase in tension, competition, and potentially a devastating Cold War between the two, parties must work to find a middle ground.

“Although many managers have adapted to virtual meetings to replace face-to-face ones as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, developing new business relationships online presents a particular set of challenges.”

Authors interview 82 managers pre-pandemic and reconnect with some during the health crisis to find out how they have been building relationships with business partners through virtual meetings. Most admit the challenge of establishing trust and assessing partners’ competency, especially when billion-dollar deals are at stake. The authors offer four key pieces of advice to overcome these difficulties. You might find our guide on how to write a vow helpful.

8 Writing Prompts On Essays About Relationships

We all know that communication is what strengthens relationships. But this is easier said than done when both sides want to talk and not listen. For this prompt, discuss the importance of open communication in relationships. Then, offer tips on how to improve communication in relationships and deal with communication gaps. One scenario you can look into is discussing problems in a relationship without getting into a heated debate.

In this essay, you can help parents become effective coaches for their children to make and keep friends. Warn them against being too authoritative in directing their children and instead allow the kids to be part of the ongoing conversation. Give your readers tips on how to build friendships such as promoting kindness, sharing, and understanding from a young age. You may also enjoy these essays about friendships .

When writing this essay, list the positive and negative effects of social media on relationships. A positive outcome of having social media is 24/7 access to our loved ones. One negative effect includes decreased time for more meaningful physical bonding. So, provide tips on how people in relationships can start putting down their mobile phones and talk heart-to-heart again. 

Influencer marketing has become one of the most popular and effective ways to spread your brand message on social media. First, explore why consumers trust influencers as credible product or service review sources. Then, try to answer some of the burning questions your readers may have, such as whether influencer marketing works for big and small businesses and how to choose the perfect influencer to endorse your brand.

In a working police-community relationship, police officials and community members work together to fight crime through information-sharing and other measures. Discuss this interesting topic for an exciting essay.

First, look into the level of working relationship between the police and your community through existing enforcement programs. Then, with the data gathered, analyze how they cooperate to improve your community. You can also build on the United States Department of Justice’s recommendations to lay down the best practices for strengthening police-community relationships. 

Amid competition, a workplace must still be conducive to cooperative relationships among employees to work on shared goals. Create an essay that enumerates the negative effects of work relationships on employee productivity and an office’s overall performance. Then cite tips on what managers and employees can do to maintain a professional and diplomatic atmosphere in the workplace. You can include points from the University of Queensland recommendations, including maintaining respect.

Students in a foreign country tend to feel distant from school life and society. Schools have a critical role in helping them feel at home and safe enough to share their ideas confidently. Set out the other benefits school environments can reap from fostering robust cross-cultural relationships and cite best practices. One example of a best practice is the buddy system, where international students are linked to local students, who could help expand their networks in the facility and even show them around the area to reveal its attributes.

When couples make it through the seven-year itch or the average time relationships last, everything down the road is said to be more manageable. However, some couples break up even after decades of being together. Explore the primary causes behind the failure of long-term relationships and consider the first signs that couples are growing distant from each other.

Look into today’s social sentiments and determine whether long-term relationships are declining. If they are, contemplate whether this should be a cause for concern or merely an acceptable change in culture. For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers and our essay writing tips .

Yna Lim is a communications specialist currently focused on policy advocacy. In her eight years of writing, she has been exposed to a variety of topics, including cryptocurrency, web hosting, agriculture, marketing, intellectual property, data privacy and international trade. A former journalist in one of the top business papers in the Philippines, Yna is currently pursuing her master's degree in economics and business.

View all posts

Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

10 Pillars of a Strong Relationship

Your performance evaluation at work comes in, and it’s glowing. However, there’s one area that “needs improvement.” Days later, which part do you think about?

The negative, of course. Part of you knows it’s ridiculous to let that one thing bother you. After all, there’s a lot more good in there than bad, but you can’t seem to help it.

Unfortunately, we do the same thing in our romantic relationships. We all have a negativity bias , or tendency to focus on the bad aspects of experiences. This makes us more critical of our relationship than we should be. Along the way, we take the good times for granted and they become an under-appreciated part of our partnership. But the problems? They stand out. Our partner’s insensitive comments, moods, and messiness regularly capture our full attention.

Mix this into a relationship that has lost a bit of its spark, and it can be hard to notice anything other than the problems. As Daniel Kahneman describes in Thinking, Fast and Slow , we tend to only see what’s right in front of us and overlook what’s not there at the moment. When problems are all that you see, it feels like that’s all your relationship is.

In fact, we have such a strong tendency to pick up on the bad stuff that we may even manufacture problems that don’t exist. A study published in Science suggests that if our relationship doesn’t have any major issues, we’re more likely to take what once would have been considered a small issue and feel it’s more problematic.

When we spend our time worrying about the wrong things, we don’t have time to appreciate what’s going right. Not only does this mean our view of the relationship is skewed, but it also means we’re missing out on a meaningful opportunity. While working on problems is one way to improve a long-term relationship, it’s just as important to reflect on your partner’s good qualities and the positive aspects of your connection.

The pillars of healthy relationships

To shift your perspective, start by paying more attention to the facets of your relationship that are stable, consistent, and comfortable. Those peaceful, drama-free, status-quo elements are easy to forget, but they’re sources of strength.

Below are 10 key pillars of healthy relationships that research suggests are key to a satisfying, lasting bond. Many of these are likely present in your own relationship; you just need to pause and take notice.

1. You can be yourself. You and your partner accept each other for who you are; you don’t try to change each other. You can simply be yourself and show your true identity without worrying if your partner will judge you. That’s helpful because research shows that partners who accept each other tend to be more satisfied with their relationships. 

2. You are BFFs. In many ways, your romantic partner is your best friend, and you’re theirs. That’s good news because research suggests that romantic partners who emphasize friendship tend to be more committed and experience more sexual gratification. Romantic relationships that value friendship emphasize emotional support, intimacy, affection, and maintaining a strong bond. They also focus on meeting needs related to caregiving, security, and companionship. 

3. You feel comfortable and close. Getting close to someone isn’t always easy. But in your relationship, you’ve worked through that and are quite comfortable sharing feelings, relying on each other, and being emotionally intimate. Even if vulnerability can be challenging at times, you’ve learned to trust your partner and find it brings you closer. You no longer put up emotional walls and don’t constantly worry about your partner leaving, which provides a sense of stability . 

4. You’re more alike than different. You and your partner have a lot in common, and key areas of similarity may help make your relationship more satisfying , new research suggests. Sure, the differences stand out, but beyond those few contrasts, you’re similar in a lot of ways. For example, your partner may enjoy superhero movies while you enjoy rom-coms. Though that feels like a major contrast, you’re both homebodies who enjoy making a meal together then crashing on the couch to watch TV shows where you can debate others’ life choices, make fun of awkward dialogue, and try to guess the next plot twist. Ultimately, you have a lot more in common than you have differences.

Greater Good in Spanish

Read this article in Spanish on La Red Hispana, the public-facing media outlet and distribution house of HCN , focused on educating, inspiring, and informing 40 million U.S. Hispanics.

5. You feel like a team. Words matter. When you talk, do you often use words like “we,” “us,” and “our?” If someone asks, “What’s your favorite show to binge-watch?,” do you reply with, “We have started watching Schitt’s Creek ”? That use of “we” shows a strong sense of cognitive closeness, or shared identity, in your relationship. Research suggests that couples who are interconnected like this tend to be more satisfied and committed . 

6. They make you a better person. Your partner helps you refine and improve who you are. Here, your partner doesn’t take charge and tell you how to change, but rather supports your choices for self-growth . Together, you seek out new and interesting experiences that contribute to a feeling of self-development. According to relationship researchers, when you expand and grow as a person, your relationship does, too .

7. You share the power. While partners may have their areas of expertise (for example, one handles lawn care, while the other does interior decorating), partners often share decision making, power, and influence in the relationship. When both partners have a say, relationships are stronger, more satisfied, and more likely to last . And, unsurprisingly, couples are happier when they feel the division of labor in their relationship is fair. 

8. They’re fundamentally good. What do people want in a spouse? It’s surprisingly simple: someone who is reliable, warm, kind, fair, trustworthy, and intelligent . Though these traits aren’t flashy and may not immediately come to mind when creating your partner wish list, they provide the foundation for a resilient relationship. Research suggests that when partners have agreeable and emotionally stable personalities, they tend to be more satisfied in their relationship. 

9. You trust each other. We need to be able to rely on our partner, which comes from a sense of trust. Not only do we trust our partner with the password to our phone, or with access to our bank account, we know that our partner always has our best interests in mind and will be there for us when we need them. Research suggests this is a positive cycle : Trust encourages greater commitment, which encourages greater trust.

10. You don’t have serious issues. There are problems, and then there are PROBLEMS. Sometimes it’s easy to forget about all of the problems and major red flags we don’t have to deal with. “Dark side” issues like disrespect, cheating, jealousy, and emotional or physical abuse are relationship killers. Sometimes, the light can come from the absence of dark.

Spend a few moments reflecting on how each of these apply to your own relationship. At this point, you may want to give yourself some kind of score to affirm your relationship is in good shape. How many of those 10 pillars do you have? How many do you lack? But that’s not really the point. Chances are, your relationship has elements of all 10. The key is to do a better job of noticing and, where needed, cultivating these foundational areas. Often, strengthening these pillars is as simple as savoring everything in your relationship that works. There’s a lot there when you know what to look for. 

Hopefully, you’ve also noticed areas of strength that aren’t on this list. That’s great, because this list is by no means comprehensive. More importantly, it shows you’re starting to notice more of what works, and not obsessing about what’s broken. 

Of course, you shouldn’t use a few positives to justify staying in a bad relationship. Focusing on strengths is only helpful for those in good relationships looking to make them better. Good relationships are built on mutual respect, love, and friendship between equals.

The lesson here also isn’t to pretend like your relationship doesn’t have issues. Rather, it’s a lot easier to fix those problems when you appreciate how much of your relationship is already going well. Relationships are difficult enough without making them any harder. When you’re only shedding light on what’s wrong, it’s easy to buy into the mistaken belief that your relationship is in trouble. But when you stop taking the good for granted, and give your partner and relationship more credit, you may realize that your relationship is stronger than you think.

About the Author

Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.

Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D. , is the author of Stronger Than You Think: The 10 Blind Spots That Undermine Your Relationship…and How to See Past Them . He is also an award-winning teacher, researcher, relationship expert, and professor at Monmouth University.

You May Also Enjoy

What We Can Learn from the Best Marriages

Gratitude is for Lovers

How Love Grows in Your Body

Five ways to renew an old love.

Three Ways to Improve Your Sex Life in Lockdown

Three Risky Ways to Fall Deeply in Love

12 Elements of Healthy Relationships

In every relationship , it’s important to consider how we treat  one an other.  Whether it’s  romantic , platonic , familial, intimate , or sexual , your relationship  with another should be respectful, honest, and fun.  

When relationships are healthy, they promote  emotional and social  well ness .  When relationships are unhealthy,  you  may feel drained, overwhelmed, and  invisible .   

In a pandemic, it’s even more important to consid er how you engage with others.   B oundaries, communication, and time apart  are vital to having relationships everyone  involved  feels good about.   Reflect on your current relationships and consider how you can incorporate the  elements  listed below:  

• Communication . The way you talk with friends or partners is an important part of a relationship. Everyone involved should be able to communicate feelings, opinions, and beliefs. When communicating, consider tone and phrasing. Miscommunication often occurs when individuals choose to text versus talking in person or a phone call. Figuring out the best ways to express your feelings together will help eliminate miscommunication.
• Boundaries . Boundaries are physical, emotional, and mental limits or guidelines a person sets for themselves which others need to respect. You and your partners or friends should feel comfortable in the activities you are doing together. All individuals involved should be respectful of boundaries. Whether it’s romantic, sexual, or platonic, consider what you want the relationship to look like and discuss it with the other(s).
• Consent . Consent is important in all relationships. Consent is uncoerced permission to interact with the body or the life of another person. Coercion can look like pressure to do something, physical force, bargaining, or someone holding power over another to get what they want. Consent can look like asking about boundaries in relationships, actively listening to responses, and always respecting those boundaries.
• Trust . Each person in the relationship should have confidence in one another. If you are questioning whether to trust someone, it may be important to communicate your feelings to them. Consider what makes you not trust someone. Is it something they did, or is it something you’ve experienced in other relationships?
• Honesty . Honesty is important for communication. Each person within the relationship or friendship should have the opportunity to express their feelings and concerns. If you don’t feel comfortable being honest with someone, consider why and seek support if needed.
• Independence . It’s important to have time to yourself in any relationship. Having opportunities to hang with others or time for self-care is important to maintain a healthy relationship. If you live with your partner(s) or friend(s), set up designated areas within your place where you can spend time alone.
• Equality . Each person in the relationship should have an equal say in what’s going on. Listen to each other and respect boundaries.
• Support . Each person in the relationship should feel supported. It’s important to have compassion and empathy for one another. In addition to supporting one another, it’s important to recognize your own needs and communicate boundaries around support.
• Responsibility . Some days you may find you said something hurtful or made a mistake. Make sure to take responsibility for your actions and do not place the blame on your partner(s) or friend(s). Taking responsibility for your actions will further trust and honesty.
• Healthy conflict . You may think conflict is a sign of an unhealthy relationship, but talking about issues or disagreements is normal. You won’t find a person that has the exact same interests, opinions, and beliefs as you; thus, at times disagreements may occur. Communicating your feelings and opinions while being respectful and kind is part of a healthy relationship.
• Safety . Safety is the foundation of connection in a relationship. In order to set boundaries, communicate, and have fun, everyone must feel safe. If you do not feel safe to express your feelings, have independence, or anything else on this list, seek support using the resources below.
• Fun . In addition to all these components, you should be enjoying the time you spend with others. Again, it’s important that your relationships promote your well-being and do not diminish it.

Want to learn more about healthy relationships? Check out this quiz by Love is Respect , a project of the National Domestic Violence Hotline .

If you or someone you know is in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, the university has confidential, non-confidential, and peer-led resources you can contact for help and support.

Confidential resources provide assistance and support and information shared is protected and cannot be reported unless given explicit permission from the individual that disclosed; there is imminent threat of harm to the individual or others; the conduct involves suspected abuse of a minor under the age of 18; or otherwise permitted by law or court order.

Non-confidential resources are available to provide support or assistance to individuals but are not confidential and may have broader obligations to report information. Non-confidential resources will report information only to the necessary departments, such as Office of Institutional Equity (OIE).

Peer-led resources are available to provide support and assistance. Services are provided by Johns Hopkins students, and are non-confidential.

Hopkins Confidential Resources

• Counseling Center : 410-516-8278 (press 1 for the on-call counselor). Serves all full-time undergraduate & graduate students from KSAS, WSE, and Peabody.
• Counseling Center Sexual Assault HelpLine: 410-516-7333. Serves all Johns Hopkins students.
• Student Health and Wellness Center : 410-516-4784. Serves all full-time, part-time, and visiting undergraduate and graduate students from KSAS, WSE, and Peabody. Serves post-doctoral fellows enrolled in KSAS, WSE, School of Education, and Sheridan Libraries.
• Religious and Spiritual Life : 410-516-1880.
• Gender Violence Prevention and Education: Alyse Campbell, [email protected] , book a time to chat at: tinyurl.com/MeetwAlyse . Serves all Johns Hopkins students.
• University Health Services (UHS): 410-955-3250
• Mental Health Services : 410-955-1892
• Johns Hopkins Student Assistance Program (JHSAP): 443-287-7000. Serves graduate, medical, and professional students, and immediate family members.

Hopkins Non-confidential Resources

• Hopkins Sexual Assault Response and Prevention website
• Campus Safety and Security : 410-516-7777
• Office of LGBTQ Life : [email protected]
• Office of Institutional Equity : 410-516-8075
• Office of the Dean of Student Life : 410-516-8208

Peer-Led Resources

• Sexual Assault Resource Unit (SARU): Private hotline: 410-516-7887. Serves all Johns Hopkins students.
• A Place to Talk (available on Zoom). Serves Homewood undergrads.

Community Resources

• TurnAround Inc. Hotline : 443-279-0379
• Rape, Abuse, and Incest, National Network : National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673
• Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault (MCASA)
• Love Is Respect
• Environmental (46)
• Financial (49)
• Mental (187)
• Physical (265)
• Professional (160)
• Sexual (68)
• Social (161)
• Spiritual (23)
• February 2024
• January 2024
• December 2023
• November 2023
• October 2023
• September 2023
• August 2023
• February 2023
• January 2023
• December 2022
• November 2022
• October 2022
• September 2022
• August 2022
• February 2022
• January 2022
• December 2021
• November 2021
• October 2021
• September 2021
• August 2021
• February 2021
• January 2021
• December 2020
• November 2020
• October 2020
• September 2020
• August 2020

• Love & Relationships

The Science Behind Happy Relationships

W hen it comes to relationships , most of us are winging it. We’re exhilarated by the early stages of love , but as we move onto the general grind of everyday life, personal baggage starts to creep in and we can find ourselves floundering in the face of hurt feelings, emotional withdrawal, escalating conflict, insufficient coping techniques and just plain boredom. There’s no denying it: making and keeping happy and healthy relationships is hard.

But a growing field of research into relationships is increasingly providing science-based guidance into the habits of the healthiest, happiest couples — and how to make any struggling relationship better. As we’ve learned, the science of love and relationships boils down to fundamental lessons that are simultaneously simple, obvious and difficult to master: empathy, positivity and a strong emotional connection drive the happiest and healthiest relationships.

Maintaining a strong emotional connection

“The most important thing we’ve learned, the thing that totally stands out in all of the developmental psychology, social psychology and our lab’s work in the last 35 years is that the secret to loving relationships and to keeping them strong and vibrant over the years, to falling in love again and again, is emotional responsiveness,” says Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist in Ottawa and the author of several books, including Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love .

That responsiveness, in a nutshell, is all about sending a cue and having the other person respond to it. “The $99 million question in love is, ‘Are you there for me?’” says Johnson. “It’s not just, ‘Are you my friend and will you help me with the chores?’ It’s about emotional synchronicity and being tuned in.”

“Every couple has differences,” continues Johnson. “What makes couples unhappy is when they have an emotional disconnection and they can’t get a feeling of secure base or safe haven with this person.” She notes that criticism and rejection — often met with defensiveness and withdrawal — are exceedingly distressing, and something that our brain interprets as a danger cue.

To foster emotional responsiveness between partners, Johnson pioneered Emotionally Focused Therapy , in which couples learn to bond through having conversations that express needs and avoid criticism. “Couples have to learn how to talk about feelings in ways that brings the other person closer,” says Johnson.

Keeping things positive

According to Carrie Cole, director of research for the Gottman Institute , an organization dedicated to the research of marriage, emotional disengagement can easily happen in any relationship when couples are not doing things that create positivity. “When that happens, people feel like they’re just moving further and further apart until they don’t even know each other anymore,” says Cole. That focus on positivity is why the Gottman Institute has embraced the motto “small things often.” The Gottman Lab has been studying relationship satisfaction since the 1970s, and that research drives the Institute’s psychologists to encourage couples to engage in small, routine points of contact that demonstrate appreciation.

One easy place to start is to find ways to compliment your partner every day, says Cole — whether it’s expressing your appreciation for something they’ve done or telling them, specifically, what you love about them. This exercise can accomplish two beneficial things: First, it validates your partner and helps them feel good about themselves. And second, it helps to remind you why you chose that person in the first place.

Listen to the brain, not just your heart

When it comes to the brain and love, biological anthropologist and Kinsey Institute senior fellow Helen Fisher has found — after putting people into a brain scanner — that there are three essential neuro-chemical components found in people who report high relationship satisfaction: practicing empathy, controlling one’s feelings and stress and maintaining positive views about your partner.

In happy relationships, partners try to empathize with each other and understand each other’s perspectives instead of constantly trying to be right. Controlling your stress and emotions boils down to a simple concept: “Keep your mouth shut and don’t act out,” says Fisher. If you can’t help yourself from getting mad, take a break by heading out to the gym, reading a book, playing with the dog or calling a friend — anything to get off a destructive path. Keeping positive views of your partner, which Fisher calls “positive illusions,” are all about reducing the amount of time you spend dwelling on negative aspects of your relationship. “No partner is perfect, and the brain is well built to remember the nasty things that were said,” says Fisher. “But if you can overlook those things and just focus on what’s important, it’s good for the body, good for the mind and good for the relationship.”

Happier relationships, happier life

Ultimately, the quality of a person’s relationships dictates the quality of their life. “Good relationships aren’t just happier and nicer,” says Johnson. “When we know how to heal [relationships] and keep them strong, they make us resilient. All these clichés about how love makes us stronger aren’t just clichés; it’s physiology. Connection with people who love and value us is our only safety net in life.”

More Must-Reads From TIME

• Putin’s Enemies Are Struggling to Unite
• Women Say They Were Pressured Into Long-Term Birth Control
• What Student Photojournalists Saw at the Campus Protests
• Scientists Are Finding Out Just How Toxic Your Stuff Is
• Boredom Makes Us Human
• John Mulaney Has What Late Night Needs
• The 100 Most Influential People of 2024
• Want Weekly Recs on What to Watch, Read, and More? Sign Up for Worth Your Time

Contact us at [email protected]

• SUGGESTED TOPICS
• The Magazine
• Newsletters
• Managing Yourself
• Managing Teams
• Work-life Balance
• The Big Idea
• Data & Visuals
• Reading Lists
• Case Selections
• HBR Learning
• Topic Feeds
• Account Settings
• Email Preferences

The Power of Healthy Relationships at Work

• Emma Seppälä
• Nicole K. McNichols

Five research-backed principles to cultivate stronger workplace relationships.

Research shows that leaders who prioritize relationships with their employees and lead from a place of positivity and kindness simply do better, and company culture has a bigger influence on employee well-being than salary and benefits. When it comes to cultivating happiness at work, it comes down to fostering positive relationships at work. Citing research from the field of social psychology, the authors outline five core principles that make all relationships, personal or professional, thrive: 1) transparency and authenticity, 2) inspiration, 3) emotional intelligence, 4) self-care, and 5) values.

Kushal Choksi was a successful Wall Street quant who had just entered the doors of the second twin tower on 9/11 when it got hit. As Choksi describes in his best-selling book, On a Wing and a Prayer , his brush with death was a wakeup call. Having mainly focused on wealth acquisition before 9/11, he began to question his approach to work.

• Emma Seppälä , PhD, is a faculty member at the Yale School of Management, faculty director of the Yale School of Management’s Women’s Leadership Program and bestselling author of SOVEREIGN (2024) and The Happiness Track (2017). She is also science director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education . Follow her work at emmaseppala.com , http://www.iamsov.com or on Instagram . emmaseppala
• Nicole K. McNichols  Ph.D. is an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington where she teaches courses about sex and relationship science in addition to industrial and organizational psychology. Follow her work at  www.nicolethesexprofessor.com and on Instagram .

Partner Center

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Relationship — Interpersonal Relationship Paper

Interpersonal Relationship Paper

• Categories: Christian Worldview Relationship

About this sample

Words: 441 |

Published: Mar 20, 2024

Words: 441 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Table of contents

Factors influencing interpersonal relationships, impact of interpersonal relationships, nurturing interpersonal relationships.

Cite this Essay

Let us write you an essay from scratch

• 450+ experts on 30 subjects ready to help
• Custom essay delivered in as few as 3 hours

Get high-quality help

Dr. Karlyna PhD

Verified writer

• Expert in: Religion Life

+ 120 experts online

By clicking “Check Writers’ Offers”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy . We’ll occasionally send you promo and account related email

No need to pay just yet!

Related Essays

3 pages / 1565 words

3 pages / 1238 words

1 pages / 640 words

4 pages / 1801 words

Remember! This is just a sample.

You can get your custom paper by one of our expert writers.

121 writers online

Still can’t find what you need?

Browse our vast selection of original essay samples, each expertly formatted and styled

Related Essays on Relationship

It’s been more than a year now, but his name still does what it did to me when I first heard it. My heart still beats faster and I know that I’m stuck. The point is, he’s the first guy in my life who touched my soul. The first [...]

Respect is a fundamental value that underpins our interactions with others and our engagement with society as a whole. It serves as a cornerstone for positive relationships and plays a pivotal role in promoting social justice [...]

What is infidelity? This is having an affair outside marriage. Most people call it cheating or better still adultery. Cases of cheating are rampant nowadays. There are so many cases of spouses killing each other simply because [...]

Art Spiegelman, acclaimed cartoonist and author of the graphic novel "Maus," delves into the complex and tumultuous relationship he shared with his father in this compelling exploration of family dynamics. Through his poignant [...]

Love language. Is that some special kind of lingo spoken by lovebirds? Many would be at a loss when asked what their love language is, as they may not have given much thought to it. However, just like any other language, it is [...]

A friend is your companion, but your best friend is like your other half. Your best friend stays with you all the time, trusts you, have fun with you, shares everything to you, and cries with you. My friends are also my best [...]

Related Topics

By clicking “Send”, you agree to our Terms of service and Privacy statement . We will occasionally send you account related emails.

Where do you want us to send this sample?

By clicking “Continue”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy.

Be careful. This essay is not unique

This essay was donated by a student and is likely to have been used and submitted before

Download this Sample

Free samples may contain mistakes and not unique parts

Sorry, we could not paraphrase this essay. Our professional writers can rewrite it and get you a unique paper.

Please check your inbox.

We can write you a custom essay that will follow your exact instructions and meet the deadlines. Let's fix your grades together!

Get Your Personalized Essay in 3 Hours or Less!

We use cookies to personalyze your web-site experience. By continuing we’ll assume you board with our cookie policy .

• Instructions Followed To The Letter
• Deadlines Met At Every Stage
• Unique And Plagiarism Free

• Bipolar Disorder
• Therapy Center
• When To See a Therapist
• Types of Therapy
• Best Online Therapy
• Best Couples Therapy
• Best Family Therapy
• Managing Stress
• Sleep and Dreaming
• Understanding Emotions
• Self-Improvement
• Healthy Relationships
• Student Resources
• Personality Types
• Guided Meditations
• Verywell Mind Insights
• 2024 Verywell Mind 25
• Mental Health in the Classroom
• Editorial Process
• Meet Our Review Board
• Crisis Support

Tips to Maintain an Interpersonal Relationship

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

Tom Werner / Getty Images

• Maintain Boundaries
• Show Respect
• Be Empathetic

Why Interpersonal Relationships Matter

When an interpersonal relationship ends, are you in a healthy relationship take the quiz.

Human beings are social by nature. The connections we build with others are critical to social, emotional, and physical health. Knowing how to maintain interpersonal relationships can help you build a support system that provides strength as you cope with life’s challenges.

An interpersonal relationship is a social connection or affiliation between two or more people. Different types of interpersonal relationships can include your connections with your partner, loved ones, close friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and many others who make up the social connections in your life.

This article discusses things you can do to maintain strong interpersonal relationships with loved ones, friends, colleagues, and others in your life. It also covers why these relationships are so important and what you can do when they do end.

Interpersonal Relationships Need Openness

In order to form and maintain strong bonds with others, there needs to be a mutual give-and-take when it comes to sharing information with one another. People need to open up to you, but you also have to be willing to let others in and share details about your experiences, emotions, and opinions.

After all, it is through this mutual sharing that you get to know each other. This process, known as self-disclosure , forges bonds and deepens intimacy between people.

Consider how you might feel if someone you care about did not share important information with you about things that are happening in their life. You might be left feeling that they don’t trust you or that they don’t consider you a close friend. 

Letting others in isn’t always easy. By sharing, you are showing them that you trust and care for them—and giving them the opportunity to show the same care in return.

In order to maintain interpersonal relationships, work on learning to be open with the people in your life. Allow yourself to be vulnerable . Look for opportunities where you can let people get to know the “real” you.

Interpersonal Relationships Need Boundaries

Being open doesn’t mean you should give others unlimited access to your thoughts, feelings, or time. Healthy boundaries are also a vital foundation of any strong relationship. It is important not only to establish these boundaries but to enforce them as well.

A boundary can be defined as what you are willing to accept in a relationship. These boundaries represent your values, expectations, and limitations.

A boundary in your interpersonal relationships might look like having limits on when you spend time together or expectations for when you will be there for one another. It can also involve how much you are willing to share about yourself emotionally, physically, and even digitally.

These boundaries are important in your relationships with other people, but they’re also important for your relationship with yourself.

It’s important that others respect your boundaries, but it is just as important for you to respect theirs. Respecting these boundaries shows that you care about each other’s values, goals, emotions, and needs.

Interpersonal Relationships Require Listening

Good communication is essential in any relationship, but it’s important to remember that communicating well involves being able to listen.

Active listening involves being engaged with what your conversation partner is saying. You're not just being quiet and letting them say their piece—you’re reflecting on their words, paraphrasing what they have said to show you are listening, and asking questions you may have. 

Listening shows that you care. It shows that you are involved in the other person’s life and interested in what they have to say.

Listening is a great way to learn more about the other person. It also allows you to offer support and emotional validation , which can go a long way toward making the other person value you as a friend and confidant.

Tips for Active Listening

• Don’t interrupt
• Avoid voicing opinions or judgments
• Maintain good eye contact
• Ask open-ended questions
• Paraphrase what the other person has said

Interpersonal Relationships Require Respect

To maintain interpersonal relationships, you should also show respect for others. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say or do what they want to do. However, It does mean you should show that you value their feelings, opinions, time, and interests.

When showing respect in interpersonal relationships, you should:

• Avoid disparaging the things they enjoy
• Keep the commitments you’ve made to them
• Show up on time
• Be mindful of their feelings
• Listen to them, even when you disagree

Interpersonal Relationships Need Empathy

Empathy involves being able to put yourself in another person’s shoes and feel what they feel. It means you see things from their perspective and feel their pain as if it was your own.

Interpersonal relationships benefit from empathy in many ways. When you show that you feel what someone else is feeling, it helps the other person gain a sense of belonging. It helps others feel understood, and that understanding serves as a foundation for trust and closeness in a relationship.

Research also suggests that in addition to strengthening relationships, empathy also fosters kindness, cooperation, and helping behaviors and improves mental health.

• Earn and be worthy of trust
• Make an effort to show you care
• Improve your listening skills
• Share things about yourself
• Accept feedback
• Validate their feelings

Why are interpersonal relationships so important? Research has found that interpersonal relationships can have a number of important benefits for physical and psychological health. Some of these include:

• Combating loneliness
• Increasing resilience to stress
• Decreasing the risk of depression and suicide
• Lowering the risk of cardiovascular disease
• Improving longevity

When you have strong interpersonal relationships, you may feel more motivated to engage in behaviors that are good for your health. Research has found that people who participate more in social relationships are also more likely to eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and avoid smoking.

Not all relationships are healthy, and sometimes you might need to let go of a toxic or painful relationship. In addition, some relationships are limited in duration simply by the nature of the connection—your relationship with a coworker, healthcare professional, or teacher, for example, may end based on various transitions in your life.

Other relationships may end for various reasons, including a breakup, divorce, a move, or death. Remember that it is normal to feel a range of emotions when a relationship ends, including sadness, anger, or grief.

If you are struggling after the loss of an interpersonal relationship, consider talking to your healthcare provider or therapist.

Keep in Mind

Being able to maintain strong interpersonal relationships plays a critical role in both your physical and emotional well-being. Think about the qualities that you value the most in your relationships— such as trust, respect, friendship, kindness, and honestly—and work on showing others those same virtues.

While it can be easy to get caught up in the busyness of everyday life, make it a habit to spend time cultivating and protecting your relationships with the people who matter the most. A little time, attention, and effort can ensure that you are giving people the support they need and that you get the same support in return.

If you've got questions about your relationship, our fast and free quiz can help you better understand if your partnership is rock solid or if it could use some work.

Sprecher S, Treger S, Wondra JD, Hilaire N, Wallpe K.  Taking turns: reciprocal self-disclosure promotes liking in initial interactions .  Journal of Experimental Social Psychology . 2013;49(5):860-6. doi:10.1016/j.jesp.2013.03.017

Kreiner H, Levi-Belz Y. Self-disclosure here and now: combining retrospective perceived assessment with dynamic behavioral measures . Front Psychol . 2019;10:558. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00558

Love Is Respect. What are my boundaries ?

Batson CD. Altruism in Humans . Oxford University Press; 2011.

American Psychological Association. Manage stress: strengthen your support network . Updated October 2019.

Grav S, Hellzèn O, Romild U, Stordal E. Association between social support and depression in the general population: The HUNT study, a cross-sectional survey . J Clin Nurs . 2012;21(1-2):111-20. doi:10.1111/j.1365-2702.2011.03868.x

Crookes DM, Shelton RC, Tehranifar P, et al. Social networks and social support for healthy eating among Latina breast cancer survivors: Implications for social and behavioral interventions . J Cancer Surviv . 2016;10(2):291–301. doi:10.1007/s11764-015-0475-6

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Advertisement

Why honesty in relationships is non-negotiable & 7 rules to follow.

Honesty is one of those things we intuitively know is a good thing, but we can really stumble a lot in trying to actually put it into practice.

But when it comes to our relationships, having open and honest communication is necessary to creating a healthy, sustainable partnership.

Here’s why honesty in relationships is so important.

What do we mean by honesty in a relationship?

Honesty is the quality of always speaking the truth and being totally authentic, straightforward, and transparent in our words and actions.

It involves a few key practices: never lying, never hiding the truth, and never purposefully omitting or misdirecting people from the truth.

Honesty in a relationship means always telling your partner the truth and being totally open with them, both for the big things and the little things.

If you’re avoiding talking to your partner about something—such as things that are bothering you in the relationship, something you did that you know your partner will be upset about, or how you really feel about the things you talk about together—then you aren’t being honest.

Being honest means being your true self around your partner, never hiding who you are, what you think, or how you feel.

Why honesty is so important in a relationship

Honesty is the foundation for trust in a relationship, and trust is necessary for a relationship to function and thrive.

When you’re always honest with someone, it tells them that they can trust you and the things you say. It helps them know they can believe your promises and commitments.

“Relationships are built on trust, so honesty is very important in a relationship,” relationship and well-being coach Shula Melamed, M.A., MPH , tells mbg. “We depend on our partner being our port in the storm, a person who we can trust with our thoughts, feelings, and heart.”

Being honest with your partner also facilitates healthy communication , which is also necessary for a functional relationship.

Couples need to be able to talk to each openly and be real with each other; that’s what true connection is all about.

That commitment to being honest also means that both people will be proactive about addressing any tension, conflicts, or issues in the relationship, bringing them up to their partner for discussion. 

“Relationships flourish when partners trust each other to be honest and open to resolving conflict,” relationship counselor Margaret Paul, Ph.D. , has told mbg . “On the other hand, relationships flounder when trust is broken.”

Is honesty always the best policy? 

Yes, honesty is always necessary in a relationship 100% of the time.

“Each lie that your partner catches you in dilutes your bond, turning you from teammates to opponents in an invisible conflict where your word is never taken seriously,” Melamed explains. “That being said, no need to be brutal when delivering your opinion or answering questions honestly that you know might hurt.”

For example, if your partner just cooked you the worst meal you’ve ever had in your life and asks you what you think of the food, you should be honest—don’t say you love it when you don’t.

But Melamed recommends avoiding unnecessarily hurtful statements (i.e. “you're a terrible cook”) and springing for kinder ways to convey the same sentiment: “Hmm. I so appreciate that you made dinner tonight. Does it taste a little bitter to you though?” Or, “It’s a little bitter tasting to me, so I think there’s some room for improvement. But you clearly put a lot of effort into this, and I so appreciate it when you make dinner.”

Secrets vs. privacy

Sometimes couples can get a little wrapped up in trying to make sure they know absolutely everything about each other.

For example, someone might insist on sharing an email address or knowing exactly where their partner is at all times, or they might feel entitled to tell their partner how hot they think various celebrities are, even if the comments hurt their partner’s feelings.

“Clearly, there are times when sharing too much could actually be hurting your independence and sense of self—or worse, hurting your partner,” marriage therapist Linda Carroll, LMFT , has told mbg . “It is essential to understand the difference between secrets and privacy. Think of it this way: Privacy is a boundary around one's own thoughts, ideas, and past experiences that don't directly involve one's partner. A secret is something that is misleading in some way and intentionally kept hidden from them for fear of judgment or reprisal.”

Partners don’t need to tell each other absolutely everything in order to be considered honest, but they do need to be transparent about information that’s going to directly affect each other’s well-being.

A good rule of thumb is that if you’re actively avoiding telling your partner something because you’re worried about their reaction, you’re keeping a secret and intentionally being dishonest.

And if your partner asks you something directly, you do need to tell the truth. 

How to build more trust and honesty in a relationship

Be consistent.

Do the things you say you’re going to do, and be someone your partner can rely on. Building trust happens through actions, not just words, says Melamed: “Show up when you say you will. Do the things you promise. Nothing erodes trust and builds resentment quite like empty or broken promises .”

Don’t commit to things you can’t do

“People think they should say they can make it and show up for another person when they can't because they don't want to disappoint,” Melamed says. “Better to be honest now and disappoint a little in the moment than disappoint later and errode trust.”

Prioritize communication

Make communicating with each other an open priority in your relationship. Have a conversation and agree that you’ll both be open with each other about how you’re feeling, what you need, what’s working, and what’s not. By establishing this precedent, you make honesty easier to practice for both of you.

Lead by example

Is your partner closed off or isn’t always honest about how they feel? Getting a closed-off person to open up takes patience, not pushiness. A great way to help them feel comfortable being honest is to simply lead by example.

Tell them how you’re feeling or what you’re up to, and allow them to follow your lead. When your partner sees that you’re always being real with them, they’ll feel like it’s safe for them to be real with you.

Avoid judging each other for the things you say

If someone is honest with their partner about how they feel and then gets shut down or yelled at for what they say, they’re less likely to want to be honest in the future. So when someone is being honest and vulnerable, avoid judging them or punishing them for it. That means avoiding calling what they said “stupid” or immediately telling them why they’re wrong to feel the way they do. You want to create a space where people feel safe expressing themselves; this is what breeds honesty.

If someone expresses something that hurts you, tell them you appreciate their honesty and then discuss why you’re feeling hurt. Was there another way they could’ve told you that would’ve hurt less? Let them know. If someone said something that you really wish they hadn’t said, you can let them know that that’s information you would prefer not to hear from them. Just remember that your partner should be able to tell you difficult things; that’s part of being in a relationship. 

Address the breaches

“When trust has been broken in your relationship, both partners need to direct real therapeutic attention to the relationship to rebuild it,” Paul says. “The betrayal is an opportunity for each person to look within and heal their part of the relationship-system in order to understand why it resulted in broken trust.”

Healing broken trust takes time and real, dedicated work. You both need to be involved and collaborating on how to rebuild that trust . “Don't kid yourself into thinking that you can repair broken trust with a quick statement of forgiveness and a warm embrace,” Paul adds. “The underlying causes for betrayal need to be identified, examined, and worked on in order for betrayal not to resurface again.”

Give it time

Trust takes time. It’s hard to just force yourself to trust someone when you truly aren’t there yet. Work on finding ways to feel safe and secure in your relationship. Committing again and again to being totally honest with each other will be an important first step.

The takeaway

Telling your partner the truth can sometimes be difficult, but it's the foundation for trust in a healthy relationship .

If you or someone you know is struggling with telling the truth, these seven tips above can help build more honesty and trust in a relationship.

Enjoy some of our favorite clips from classes

What Is Meditation?

Mindfulness/Spirituality | Light Watkins

Box Breathing

Mindfulness/Spirituality | Gwen Dittmar

What Breathwork Can Address

The 8 limbs of yoga - what is asana.

Yoga | Caley Alyssa

Two Standing Postures to Open Up Tight Hips

How plants can optimize athletic performance.

Nutrition | Rich Roll

What to Eat Before a Workout

How ayurveda helps us navigate modern life.

Nutrition | Sahara Rose

Messages About Love & Relationships

Love & Relationships | Esther Perel

Love Languages

More on this topic.

It's Normal For Parents' To Lose That Spark — But You Don't Have To

Lia Avellino, LCSW

A Simple Green Smoothie Recipe For Energy & Blood Sugar Balance

Kristine Thomason

This Organ Plays A Crucial Role In The Body; Here's How To Cleanse It

Julia Guerra

Astrologers Say By The End Of May, Our Lives Could Look Very Different

The AstroTwins

Women Are Having Mental Health Breakthroughs With Online Therapy — Here's Why

Devon Barrow

Which Functional Mushroom Should You Use For What? Your Adaptogenic Guide To Fungi

Popular Stories

Love and Relationship Essay

The word ‘love’ is observed to have distinct meanings in various settings and contexts. Different people from various cultural settings would tend to have different perceptions about love. Generally, love refers to some kind of inexplicable feeling which is felt by people towards others, probably those of the opposite sex. Relationship on the other hand would refer to the condition of people being connected or associated with each other.

We have all experienced love at one moment of life, but it is as though there is still much we don’t know about love itself. Humans have always asked inexplicable questions about love such as, “Why do we fall in love?” or “What makes us love others?” We may not necessarily have perfect answers for all the questions regarding love but there is no doubt that we have been closer to the right answers for most of these questions through the perception of psychologists.

For instance, according to love psychologists, the reason as to why we fall in love will depend on our minds. The way our minds perceive love is what comes out to us as love. Sometimes, these perceptions may match with the perceptions of another person and in that case love is certain to be realized.

Different groups of people have different views about love. Some communities would see it as something that would be contained in the eyes while others just associate it with blood thus the observations ‘love is in the eyes of the beholder’ and ‘blood is thicker than water’ respectively.

However, some aspects in life have come up to disqualify these perceptions, making people to search for other alternative explanations. For instance, let us consider the situation of blind people. Does their incapability to see hinder them from loving? More importantly, if love was really contained in the blood, will there be any cases concerning lost identities in life as we can see today?

Having asked ourselves these questions, it would be easy for us to appreciate the psychological view of love that is determined by our minds as the perfect answer to most of the questions we frequently ask ourselves regarding love. The issue of love and what makes people fall in love has been a subject of debate all over the world for a very long time. There may never be false love as some thinkers would observe, but we are all informed of the many uncertainties associated with love nowadays.

Think of someone who is strolling down the street without any specific focus or intention then suddenly, he bumps on a lady and it happens they fall in love at the first sight. How can this situation be explained? There is no other perfect manner we can explain this but through the ‘idea of the mind.’

What had just happened between the two people would depend on their brains. Single people; ones who are not in any relationship will always be in hunt for love and if someone fitting their criteria crosses their path, they will definitely be attracted to them and these feelings would trigger love instantly.

The person in this example fell in love with the lady she met on the street owing to the opportunistic perceptions of his mind that he was single and he needed a lover. This is just what happens to many people in this world as far as love is concerned.

As it would be observed, most people would appear to be crazy in love at the beginning of their relationship. This however is likely to change over the time and that fire would fade away as they continue seeing each other. They can even start having feelings of hate against each other.

This is another stand which can be used to justify the hypothesis in this argument. Most of the times, humans are misguided by their minds to make instant choices about love, instead of taking their time to think of the possible outcomes which are likely to arise later. This way, they end up making the wrong choices in what can be termed as ‘rushed love.’ This is a misunderstood situation that would be characterized by arguments and hate against each other come in the future.

To avoid such situations, psychologists have observed a number of factors for people to consider before thinking of falling in love. First of all, we should try to establish a checklist about the things we expect to see in our future lovers and some of the aspects which can apply in the checklist might include behavior, appearance, and education. A checklist is more likely to guide us to the right people thus sparing us future disappointments in relationships.

Through the observations of this topic, we get to learn the benefits of psychology in helping us come into terms with some behaviors and processes of life. Through psychology, we can gain practical benefits regarding various aspects of life. Psychology is always certain to offer satisfying answers to most of the questions we may frequently ask ourselves about many things facing us in our daily lives.

For instance, in the above case concerning love psychology would provide the right answers and the perfect guideline on how to go about it without regrets. This would help people make the right decisions thus avoiding future disappointments. In this case, we should see the capability of psychology in giving us the perfect guideline about sensitive issues of life.

• Chicago (A-D)
• Chicago (N-B)

IvyPanda. (2019, May 2). Love and Relationship. https://ivypanda.com/essays/love-and-relationship-essay/

"Love and Relationship." IvyPanda , 2 May 2019, ivypanda.com/essays/love-and-relationship-essay/.

IvyPanda . (2019) 'Love and Relationship'. 2 May.

IvyPanda . 2019. "Love and Relationship." May 2, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/love-and-relationship-essay/.

1. IvyPanda . "Love and Relationship." May 2, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/love-and-relationship-essay/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Love and Relationship." May 2, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/love-and-relationship-essay/.

• Smoking as a Risk Factor for Lung Cancer
• The Paradox of the California Dream
• Lockheed Martin Corporation's Information Security Checklist
• Relevance of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
• Addiction to an Experience
• Insomnia: A Sleeping Disorder Type
• Psychological Measurements and Requirements
• Studying Brain's Inner Workings

Essay on Relationship

The term “relationship” refers to a close bond between two people.

Humans cannot live alone they need someone to share their feelings, enjoy the moments, or live happily. But we cannot do these things with strangers. We need someone whom we can trust and also win their trust. For this reason, we need healthy relationships in our life. From birth to death, humans are tied to several relationships. So, today we will discuss about “relationship” in detail.

Short and Long Relationship Essays in English

Here, I’m presenting short and long essays on Relationship in different word limits of 100 words, 250 words and 500-600 words. This topic is useful for students of all the classes to write creative essays and paragraphs. However, this topic is of immense importance for every individual to know the significance of a healthy relationship in life.

Relationship Essay 10 Lines (100 – 150 Words)

1) Relationshipis a bond of love and connection between two people.

2) Life is incomplete without relationships.

3) Respect is necessary in every relationship.

4) A healthy relationship makes life happier.

5) Family, friendship, romantic, and acquaintances are the four main relationships.

6) Relationship reduces stress and loneliness.

7) Relationship takes time to form.

8) Proper communication is required to maintain any relationship.

9) Without a relationship, life will become dull and boring.

10) Researches show that a good relationship helps to live longer.

Short Essay on Relationship (200-250 Words)

A relationship is a bond between two people based on mutual like, understanding, need, or love. It can be family relationships, friendships, romantic relationships, or acquaintances. The strongest relationship in which we are tied since birth is family. Friendship is another beautiful relationship that fills our life with joy. A romantic relationship mainly exists between a husband and wife. Acquaintances refer to the people who are not our relatives but we meet them often. This type of relationship can later turn into friendship.

In every sphere of life, relationships have a crucial role to play. Having a relationship is one of the most beautiful things that one could ever experience in life. Maintaining strong relationships in your life have an enormous number of benefits in the long run. However, it requires efforts to maintain a good relationship. Respect and trust are very important in every relationship. A healthy relationship generates a positive environment. It also affects our mental state. However, a bad relationship can even ruin our life. Therefore, it is necessary to play your part in a relationship with honesty.

In earlier times, relationships were very precious for people. But today, people are turning selfish and greedy. They make relationships mainly for profit. This is the major reason that people are not happy and it seems very difficult to maintain the existing relationship.

Long Essay on Relationship (500-600 Words)

Introduction

Relationships are defined as the feeling of love between two people and the connection that exists between them. The best feeling in the world is to love and to be loved by someone you care about. A relationship can be with parents, friends, or others. Each type of relationship plays an essential role in our life.

Types of Relationship

The four types of relationships are as follows:

Family: A family relationship is the first step towards interacting with others. Among all forms of human relationships, it is the strongest. In difficult times, they can provide support and a sense of belonging. Family relationships play a vital role in socialization.

Friendship: Our friends are the second family whom we trust, respect, keep in touch with, and love. They are the important relationship that we make our own. Friendship is necessary to share emotions and feelings.

Romantic: It is a relation to which we attach ourselves with a great deal of commitment. Among all relationships, it is the closest and most essential. Usually, this type of relationship is seen between husbands and wives.

Acquaintances: Regularly, we come across people who aren’t our friends or relatives. The person can be a neighbor or coworker, but we show respect and politeness. Such type of relationships can develop into friendship if treated with respect and care.

Importance of Relationships in Life

A relationship is an important part of our life. It is relationships that allow us to stay connected to each other. Humans depend on it for survival and it contributes greatly to their happiness and well-being. In a relationship, emotions, attachments, love, and sincerity are present. With relationships, we can grow up well, increase our awareness, improve our talents, and do many other things necessary to lead a happy and healthy life.

Without a relationship, you won’t be able to share your thoughts and obtain respect from others. When people have relationships with one another, they are able to discover who a person is at the core. In addition to bringing us a lot of joy, they are also a source of lots of laughs. However, a healthy relationship is crucial for a positive working environment, as it leads to mental peace as well as a more energetic attitude at work.

Benefits of a Healthy Relationship

Some benefits of a healthy relationship are mentioned below:

Less stress: Relationships help us to live a stress-free life. A relationship develops good understanding and sharing capability, thus reducing the chances of stress and depression.

Support: Having a relationship gives us people with whom we can share our lives and who can support us in time of need. It gives a support system that encourages us to do our best every time.

Happy life: Relationships play a very important role in the quality of life, without which life would be dull. A happy relationship in life can influence your health in a positive way. It saves you from boredom and makes life more joyful.

Relationships are a vital part of our lives and we cannot live without them. Relationships are a part of us from the moment we are born to the day we die. However, you can’t build a relationship in a day. A constant focus and attention are needed for them to succeed. A healthy relationship gives you joy while an unhealthy one can leave you exhausted. Therefore, it is very important to maintain a good and healthy relationship.

I hope the above given essay on Relationship will be helpful in understanding the importance as well as different aspects of Relationship in life.

FAQs: Frequently Asked Questions on Relationship on Relationship

Ans. Communication, respect, trust, and love are the most important things in a relationship.

Ans. Friendship is considered the best relationship in the world.

Ans. Irresponsibility, immaturity, insecurity, etc are some dangers to a healthy relationship.

Ans. The word “relationship” first appeared in 1744, according to the Online Etymology Dictionary.

Related Information:

Essay on My Mother

Essay on My family

Essay on Friendship

Essay on My Favorite Teacher

Related Posts

Essay on digital india, cashless india essay, essay on child is father of the man, essay on causes, effects and prevention of corona virus, essay on dr. sarvepalli radhakrishnan, durga puja essay, essay on summer vacation, essay on my plans for summer vacation, essay on holiday.

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

• Relationships

Love, Responsibility, and Empowerment in Relationships

Relationships work best when these three are developed..

Posted May 10, 2024 | Reviewed by Tyler Woods

• Why Relationships Matter
• Find counselling to strengthen relationships
• High emotional reactivity is a hallmark of unhappy relationships.
• High emotional reactivity rises from chronic resentment and tends to be degenerative.
• We have a responsibility and the power to improve interactions, regardless of who “started it.”
• Responsibility empowers; failure of responsibility disempowers.

High emotional reactivity is a hallmark of bad relationships. When a negative feeling in one partner causes chaos or shut down in the other, emotional reactivity spirals out of control.

Once reactivity becomes habit, the initiating negative feeling may have nothing to do with the partner or the relationship. It can be a reaction to losses in politics , sports, finances, or any number of ego offenses at work. It’s often physiological: irritability from weariness, hunger, diffuse concentration , or discomfort.

Relationships with high emotional reactivity are not necessarily high in conflict. Conflict-avoidant partners tend to argue with cold shoulders instead of raised voices and pointed words.

Regardless of whether the reactivity is loud or silent, one partner is likely to be anxious , the other cynically depressed , with the only visible emotion some form of anger or indifference. They regard each other as opponents more than partners. They develop automatic defenses that activate with neither doing anything wrong. They feel a little tense when their partner comes home or simply walks into the room. Both feel powerless to improve the relationship or focus on what the other should do to improve it.

High emotional reactivity rises from a chain of resentment and tends to be degenerative. It rarely gets better on its own. Only concerted effort can effectively change habituated patterns of interaction.

The Hidden Hurt

When emotional reactivity is high, anything can be a measure of love and a signal of inadequacy as a partner.

“If you loved me, you would do this.” “If you loved me, you wouldn’t ask me to do this.”

Accusations in love carry the implication:

"The way you love isn’t good enough."

But most complaints in love relationships have a hidden plea:

“Please care about me. Show that I matter to you.”

The best way, if not the only way, to get our partners to show that they care about us and we matter to them, is to show that we care about them and they matter to us.

Responsibility Is Power

Empowerment is the ability to make your experience and your life better. In love relationships we have enormous power over the well-being of partners, whether we want it or not. With power goes responsibility. (The exertion of power without responsibility is one definition of abuse.) Responsibility empowers us to improve.

The ultimate relationship empowerment: both partners embrace responsibility to improve negative interactions, regardless of who “started it.”

The alternative is blame , which quickly escalates the intensity, hurt, and frustration of interactions.

Responsibility Is Not Blame

We’re quick to blame our partners for negative interactions, while evading responsibility to improve them. This isn't hypocrisy; it rises from a confusion of responsibility with blame.

Responsibility and blame are mutually exclusive. Blame is about the past; responsibility to improve your well-being lies in the present and future. Blame induces shame , to which we typically react with anger. Accepting responsibility to improve evokes pride and efficacy.

This is a dialogue that clients recorded and sent to me. The couple has a home-based small business, with no physical boundaries between work and family spaces. Physical boundaries help the brain transition from performance-driven, hierarchical work mentality to the egalitarian acceptance-support mentality required of love relationships.

One partner interrupts the other with a work issue.

“We need to talk about this.” “I took care of it!” “Without consulting me?” “It’s taken care of!” “You’re being rude.” “I’m just trying to finish this.” “You need to apologize .” “I’m sorry.” “That wasn’t sincere.” “I’ll apologize better when I finish this.” “You have time to hurt my feelings but not apologize?” “Let me finish this, then I can deal with your feelings.”

The argument escalated with increasing accusations:

“You're abusive!” “You’re too sensitive!”

The interrupting partner left the room in hurt and exasperation. The frustration of the interrupted partner kept him from finishing the task anyway. They went three days without speaking before declaring a temporary truce.

The point isn’t who was right and who was wrong. Neither was assuming responsibility to improve the interaction and their relationship. Partners are human, they make mistakes. High emotional reactivity compounds the mistakes. Responsibility ameliorates them.

If the couple acted on their desire to improve their relationship and all its interactions, it would go something like the following:

“We need to talk about this." “Oh, honey I took care of that.” “Without consulting me?” “I’m sorry, I should have consulted with you first. I was scatter-brained, but I meant no disrespect. I’ll remember in the future.” “I’ll appreciate that.”

If the interrupted partner fails to regulate his frustration about the interruption, the interaction could still improve with something like:

“We need to talk about this.” “I took care of it!” “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, but I’m sensitive to a gruff response.” “No, I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t take out my frustration on you. You deserve my attention.”

Both partners would feel better about the interaction. Neither would accuse or indulge in defensiveness. If they practice self-regulation in the future, their relationship will become more secure.

Emotional Abuse

Abuse is a self-regulation matter, not a relationship issue. Abusers are solely responsible for their abusive behavior. There’s no such thing as uncontrollable abuse. No matter how upset they might get, abusers make a choice to hurt their partners, rather than calm themselves.

Unfortunately, the inadvertent consequence of this truth renders victims of abuse powerless over their emotional well-being. If you suffer emotional abuse and choose to stay in the relationship for whatever reason, you can still empower yourself to improve interactions rather than make them worse. But always put safety first, both within the relationship and if you choose to leave it.

The Right to Express Anger

Some couples resist the responsibility to improve because they think it means relinquishing their right to express anger. You have a right to express anger and a responsibility to recognize that expressing anger is devaluing and bound to make the interaction worse.

Note in the third interaction above that the partner expressed the hurt causing her anger, which is apt to get a positive reaction, though not with the certainty that expressing the anger will get a negative one. You have a right to make things better and a right to make things worse.

Relationships improve when we accept that we’re all responsible for improving interactions and that we’re all guilty of escalating them.

To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory .

Steven Stosny, Ph.D., treats people for anger and relationship problems. His recent books include How to Improve your Marriage without Talking about It and Love Without Hurt .

• Find a Therapist
• Find a Treatment Center
• Find a Psychiatrist
• Find a Support Group
• Find Online Therapy
• International
• New Zealand
• South Africa
• Switzerland
• Asperger's
• Bipolar Disorder
• Chronic Pain
• Eating Disorders
• Passive Aggression
• Personality
• Goal Setting
• Positive Psychology
• Stopping Smoking
• Low Sexual Desire
• Child Development
• Therapy Center NEW
• Diagnosis Dictionary
• Types of Therapy

At any moment, someone’s aggravating behavior or our own bad luck can set us off on an emotional spiral that threatens to derail our entire day. Here’s how we can face our triggers with less reactivity so that we can get on with our lives.

• Emotional Intelligence
• Gaslighting
• Affective Forecasting
• Neuroscience