why parents help with homework

Homework Help for Reluctant Children

• Posted October 15, 2018
• By Heather Miller

It’s hard to fault the child who resists doing homework. After all, she has already put in a long day at school, probably been involved in afterschool activities, and, as the late afternoon spills into evening, now faces a pile of assignments. Parents feel it, too — it’s no one’s favorite time of day.

But despite its bad rap, homework plays an important role in ensuring that students can execute tasks independently. When it’s thoughtfully assigned, homework provides deeper engagement with material introduced in class. And even when it’s “just” worksheets, homework can build the automatic habits and the basic skills required to tackle more interesting endeavors. Finally, homework is a nightly test of grit. Adult life brings its share of tasks that are both compulsory and unenjoyable. Developing the discipline to fulfill our responsibilities, regardless of whether they thrill us, begins in middle childhood.

So how to help the avoidant child embrace the challenge, rather than resist it?

The first step, especially with kids 13 and under, is to have them do their homework at a communal space, like a dining room or kitchen table. If other children are in the home, they can all do their homework at the same table, and the parent can sit nearby to support the work effort. This alleviates some of the loneliness a reluctant child might associate with assignments. The alternative — doing homework at a bedroom desk — can result in the child guiltily avoiding the work for as long as possible. Like all forms of procrastination, this has the effect of making the entire process take much longer than it needs to.  

When parents turn the homework ritual into a series of conversations about what needs to be done, how, and for how long, children feel less “alone” with their nightly work, they relish the company and support of their parent, and they work better and more efficiently.

Many parents are under the impression that they shouldn’t have anything to do with their children's homework. This comes from schools emphasizing that homework is a child's responsibility, not the parents'. While it is absolutely true that parents should not do their children's homework, there is a role for parents — one that's perhaps best described as “homework project manager.” Parents can be monitoring, organizing, motivating, and praising the homework effort as it gets done. And yes, that means sitting with your child to help them stay focused and on task. Your presence sends the message that homework is important business, not to be taken lightly.

Once you’re sitting down with your child, ask him to unload his school bag and talk you through his various assignments. Maybe he has a school planner with all his homework listed, or a printout from school, or perhaps his work is listed on the classroom website. Many children attend an afterschool program where, in theory, they are doing homework. They’ll often claim that they’ve done all their homework, even though they’ve only done some. Together, make a quick and easy “Done/To Do” list. Writing down what she has finished will give her a sense of satisfaction. Identifying what she still needs to do will help her to focus on the remaining assignments. Over time, this practice will help your child build an understanding that large tasks are completed incrementally.

Next, ask your child to put the assignments in the order he’d like to do them. Encourage him to explain his thinking. Doing this helps a child feel in control of the evening’s tasks and prompts him to reflect on his work style. Discuss the first task of the night together. Ask your child to think about the supplies he is likely to need, and ensure they’re at the ready. This “pre-work” work helps a child think through a task, understand it, and prepare to execute it with gusto.

Last but not least, introduce a timer to the evening’s proceedings. Challenge your child to estimate how long the first assignment will take. Then ask, “Do you want me to set the timer for the full amount of time you think you’ll need, or a smaller amount?” Then, set the timer with the understanding that the child must work without interruption until the timer goes off. Even questions are verboten while the timer runs. The goal here is to enable the child to solve problems independently, through concentration. This not only builds concentration powers, it builds creativity, critical thinking, resilience, and resourcefulness. In my experience, the theatricality of being timed helps relax children who would otherwise feel daunted by a mountain of homework.

As each piece of work gets done, parents can add meaningful positive reinforcement. Exclaiming, “Another assignment done! And done well!” helps your child feel like what they are doing matters.

By turning the homework ritual into a series of conversations about what needs to be done, how, and for how long, children feel less “alone” with their nightly work, they relish the company and support of their parent, and they complete the work much more efficiently and at a higher standard than they might otherwise.

Helping the Homework Resisters

• Have children do their work at a communal table. Stay nearby, to alleviate the loneliness that some kids feel — and to prevent procrastination.
• Ask your child to unload her backpack and talk through assignments.
• Help your child make a "Done/To Do" list.
• Ask your child to put the assignments in the order he’d like to do them. Encourage him to explain his thinking — fostering a sense of control.
• Use a timer. Challenge your child to estimate how long an assignment will take, and ask if she wants to set the timer for that full amount of time, or less. 
• Your role: To monitor, organize, motivate, and praise the homework effort as each piece is done. 

Additional Resource

• More about Heather Miller's work to help parents create healthy routines on weeknights

Usable Knowledge

Connecting education research to practice — with timely insights for educators, families, and communities

Related Articles

Fighting for Change: Estefania Rodriguez, L&T'16

Notes from ferguson, part of the conversation: rachel hanebutt, mbe'16.

K-12 Resources By Teachers, For Teachers Provided by the K-12 Teachers Alliance

• Teaching Strategies
• Classroom Activities
• Classroom Management
• Technology in the Classroom
• Professional Development
• Lesson Plans
• Writing Prompts
• Graduate Programs

The Value of Parents Helping with Homework

Dr. selena kiser.

• September 2, 2020

The importance of parents helping with homework is invaluable. Helping with homework is an important responsibility as a parent and directly supports the learning process. Parents’ experience and expertise is priceless. One of the best predictors of success in school is learning at home and being involved in children’s education. Parental involvement with homework helps develop self-confidence and motivation in the classroom. Parents helping students with homework has a multitude of benefits including spending individual time with children, enlightening strengths and weaknesses, making learning more meaningful, and having higher aspirations.

How Parental Involvement with Homework Impacts Students

Parental involvement with homework impacts students in a positive way. One of the most important reasons for parental involvement is that it helps alleviate stress and anxiety if the students are facing challenges with specific skills or topics. Parents have experience and expertise with a variety of subject matter and life experiences to help increase relevance. Parents help their children understand content and make it more meaningful, while also helping them understand things more clearly.

Also, their involvement increases skill and subject retention. Parents get into more depth about content and allow students to take skills to a greater level. Many children will always remember the times spent together working on homework or classroom projects. Parental involvement with homework and engagement in their child’s education are related to higher academic performance, better social skills and behavior, and increased self-confidence.

Parents helping with homework allows more time to expand upon subjects or skills since learning can be accelerated in the classroom. This is especially true in today’s classrooms. The curricula in many classrooms is enhanced and requires teaching a lot of content in a small amount of time. Homework is when parents and children can spend extra time on skills and subject matter. Parents provide relatable reasons for learning skills, and children retain information in greater depth.

Parental involvement increases creativity and induces critical-thinking skills in children. This creates a positive learning environment at home and transfers into the classroom setting. Parents have perspective on their children, and this allows them to support their weaknesses while expanding upon their strengths. The time together enlightens parents as to exactly what their child’s strengths and weaknesses are.

Virtual learning is now utilized nationwide, and parents are directly involved with their child’s schoolwork and homework. Their involvement is more vital now than ever. Fostering a positive homework environment is critical in virtual learning and assists children with technological and academic material.

Strategies for Including Parents in Homework

An essential strategy for including parents in homework is sharing a responsibility to help children meet educational goals. Parents’ commitment to prioritizing their child’s educational goals, and participating in homework supports a larger objective. Teachers and parents are specific about the goals and work directly with the child with classwork and homework. Teachers and parents collaboratively working together on children’s goals have larger and more long-lasting success. This also allows parents to be strategic with homework assistance.

A few other great examples of how to involve parents in homework are conducting experiments, assignments, or project-based learning activities that parents play an active role in. Interviewing parents is a fantastic way to be directly involved in homework and allows the project to be enjoyable. Parents are honored to be interviewed, and these activities create a bond between parents and children. Students will remember these assignments for the rest of their lives.

Project-based learning activities examples are family tree projects, leaf collections, research papers, and a myriad of other hands-on learning assignments. Children love working with their parents on these assignments as they are enjoyable and fun. This type of learning and engagement also fosters other interests. Conducting research is another way parents directly impact their child’s homework. This can be a subject the child is interested in or something they are unfamiliar with. Children and parents look forward to these types of homework activities.

Parents helping students with homework has a multitude of benefits. Parental involvement and engagement have lifelong benefits and creates a pathway for success. Parents provide autonomy and support, while modeling successful homework study habits.

• #homework , #ParentalInvolvement

More in Professional Development

Utilizing Canva to Work Smarter Not Harder

Teaching is a balancing act, with constantly juggling creating lesson plans, grading papers,…

Chill Out & Tune In: The Ultimate Summer Guide to Books & the Best Education Podcasts

Summer is the perfect time to unwind and recharge for the upcoming school…

How Sensory Rooms Help Students with Autism Thrive

Students with autism often face challenges in the classroom due to their sensory…

Establishing a Smooth Flow: The Power of Classroom Routines

Learners thrive in environments where there’s structure and familiarity, and implementing classroom routines…

Does Homework Really Help Students Learn?

A conversation with a Wheelock researcher, a BU student, and a fourth-grade teacher

“Quality homework is engaging and relevant to kids’ lives,” says Wheelock’s Janine Bempechat. “It gives them autonomy and engages them in the community and with their families. In some subjects, like math, worksheets can be very helpful. It has to do with the value of practicing over and over.” Photo by iStock/Glenn Cook Photography

Do your homework.

If only it were that simple.

Educators have debated the merits of homework since the late 19th century. In recent years, amid concerns of some parents and teachers that children are being stressed out by too much homework, things have only gotten more fraught.

“Homework is complicated,” says developmental psychologist Janine Bempechat, a Wheelock College of Education & Human Development clinical professor. The author of the essay “ The Case for (Quality) Homework—Why It Improves Learning and How Parents Can Help ” in the winter 2019 issue of Education Next , Bempechat has studied how the debate about homework is influencing teacher preparation, parent and student beliefs about learning, and school policies.

She worries especially about socioeconomically disadvantaged students from low-performing schools who, according to research by Bempechat and others, get little or no homework.

BU Today  sat down with Bempechat and Erin Bruce (Wheelock’17,’18), a new fourth-grade teacher at a suburban Boston school, and future teacher freshman Emma Ardizzone (Wheelock) to talk about what quality homework looks like, how it can help children learn, and how schools can equip teachers to design it, evaluate it, and facilitate parents’ role in it.

BU Today: Parents and educators who are against homework in elementary school say there is no research definitively linking it to academic performance for kids in the early grades. You’ve said that they’re missing the point.

Bempechat : I think teachers assign homework in elementary school as a way to help kids develop skills they’ll need when they’re older—to begin to instill a sense of responsibility and to learn planning and organizational skills. That’s what I think is the greatest value of homework—in cultivating beliefs about learning and skills associated with academic success. If we greatly reduce or eliminate homework in elementary school, we deprive kids and parents of opportunities to instill these important learning habits and skills.

We do know that beginning in late middle school, and continuing through high school, there is a strong and positive correlation between homework completion and academic success.

That’s what I think is the greatest value of homework—in cultivating beliefs about learning and skills associated with academic success.

You talk about the importance of quality homework. What is that?

Quality homework is engaging and relevant to kids’ lives. It gives them autonomy and engages them in the community and with their families. In some subjects, like math, worksheets can be very helpful. It has to do with the value of practicing over and over.

What are your concerns about homework and low-income children?

The argument that some people make—that homework “punishes the poor” because lower-income parents may not be as well-equipped as affluent parents to help their children with homework—is very troubling to me. There are no parents who don’t care about their children’s learning. Parents don’t actually have to help with homework completion in order for kids to do well. They can help in other ways—by helping children organize a study space, providing snacks, being there as a support, helping children work in groups with siblings or friends.

Isn’t the discussion about getting rid of homework happening mostly in affluent communities?

Yes, and the stories we hear of kids being stressed out from too much homework—four or five hours of homework a night—are real. That’s problematic for physical and mental health and overall well-being. But the research shows that higher-income students get a lot more homework than lower-income kids.

Teachers may not have as high expectations for lower-income children. Schools should bear responsibility for providing supports for kids to be able to get their homework done—after-school clubs, community support, peer group support. It does kids a disservice when our expectations are lower for them.

The conversation around homework is to some extent a social class and social justice issue. If we eliminate homework for all children because affluent children have too much, we’re really doing a disservice to low-income children. They need the challenge, and every student can rise to the challenge with enough supports in place.

What did you learn by studying how education schools are preparing future teachers to handle homework?

My colleague, Margarita Jimenez-Silva, at the University of California, Davis, School of Education, and I interviewed faculty members at education schools, as well as supervising teachers, to find out how students are being prepared. And it seemed that they weren’t. There didn’t seem to be any readings on the research, or conversations on what high-quality homework is and how to design it.

Erin, what kind of training did you get in handling homework?

Bruce : I had phenomenal professors at Wheelock, but homework just didn’t come up. I did lots of student teaching. I’ve been in classrooms where the teachers didn’t assign any homework, and I’ve been in rooms where they assigned hours of homework a night. But I never even considered homework as something that was my decision. I just thought it was something I’d pull out of a book and it’d be done.

I started giving homework on the first night of school this year. My first assignment was to go home and draw a picture of the room where you do your homework. I want to know if it’s at a table and if there are chairs around it and if mom’s cooking dinner while you’re doing homework.

The second night I asked them to talk to a grown-up about how are you going to be able to get your homework done during the week. The kids really enjoyed it. There’s a running joke that I’m teaching life skills.

Friday nights, I read all my kids’ responses to me on their homework from the week and it’s wonderful. They pour their hearts out. It’s like we’re having a conversation on my couch Friday night.

It matters to know that the teacher cares about you and that what you think matters to the teacher. Homework is a vehicle to connect home and school…for parents to know teachers are welcoming to them and their families.

Bempechat : I can’t imagine that most new teachers would have the intuition Erin had in designing homework the way she did.

Ardizzone : Conversations with kids about homework, feeling you’re being listened to—that’s such a big part of wanting to do homework….I grew up in Westchester County. It was a pretty demanding school district. My junior year English teacher—I loved her—she would give us feedback, have meetings with all of us. She’d say, “If you have any questions, if you have anything you want to talk about, you can talk to me, here are my office hours.” It felt like she actually cared.

Bempechat : It matters to know that the teacher cares about you and that what you think matters to the teacher. Homework is a vehicle to connect home and school…for parents to know teachers are welcoming to them and their families.

Ardizzone : But can’t it lead to parents being overbearing and too involved in their children’s lives as students?

Bempechat : There’s good help and there’s bad help. The bad help is what you’re describing—when parents hover inappropriately, when they micromanage, when they see their children confused and struggling and tell them what to do.

Good help is when parents recognize there’s a struggle going on and instead ask informative questions: “Where do you think you went wrong?” They give hints, or pointers, rather than saying, “You missed this,” or “You didn’t read that.”

Bruce : I hope something comes of this. I hope BU or Wheelock can think of some way to make this a more pressing issue. As a first-year teacher, it was not something I even thought about on the first day of school—until a kid raised his hand and said, “Do we have homework?” It would have been wonderful if I’d had a plan from day one.

Explore Related Topics:

• Share this story

Senior Contributing Editor

Sara Rimer A journalist for more than three decades, Sara Rimer worked at the Miami Herald , Washington Post and, for 26 years, the New York Times , where she was the New England bureau chief, and a national reporter covering education, aging, immigration, and other social justice issues. Her stories on the death penalty’s inequities were nominated for a Pulitzer Prize and cited in the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision outlawing the execution of people with intellectual disabilities. Her journalism honors include Columbia University’s Meyer Berger award for in-depth human interest reporting. She holds a BA degree in American Studies from the University of Michigan. Profile

She can be reached at [email protected] .

Comments & Discussion

Boston University moderates comments to facilitate an informed, substantive, civil conversation. Abusive, profane, self-promotional, misleading, incoherent or off-topic comments will be rejected. Moderators are staffed during regular business hours (EST) and can only accept comments written in English. Statistics or facts must include a citation or a link to the citation.

There are 81 comments on Does Homework Really Help Students Learn?

Insightful! The values about homework in elementary schools are well aligned with my intuition as a parent.

when i finish my work i do my homework and i sometimes forget what to do because i did not get enough sleep

same omg it does not help me it is stressful and if I have it in more than one class I hate it.

Same I think my parent wants to help me but, she doesn’t care if I get bad grades so I just try my best and my grades are great.

I think that last question about Good help from parents is not know to all parents, we do as our parents did or how we best think it can be done, so maybe coaching parents or giving them resources on how to help with homework would be very beneficial for the parent on how to help and for the teacher to have consistency and improve homework results, and of course for the child. I do see how homework helps reaffirm the knowledge obtained in the classroom, I also have the ability to see progress and it is a time I share with my kids

The answer to the headline question is a no-brainer – a more pressing problem is why there is a difference in how students from different cultures succeed. Perfect example is the student population at BU – why is there a majority population of Asian students and only about 3% black students at BU? In fact at some universities there are law suits by Asians to stop discrimination and quotas against admitting Asian students because the real truth is that as a group they are demonstrating better qualifications for admittance, while at the same time there are quotas and reduced requirements for black students to boost their portion of the student population because as a group they do more poorly in meeting admissions standards – and it is not about the Benjamins. The real problem is that in our PC society no one has the gazuntas to explore this issue as it may reveal that all people are not created equal after all. Or is it just environmental cultural differences??????

I get you have a concern about the issue but that is not even what the point of this article is about. If you have an issue please take this to the site we have and only post your opinion about the actual topic

This is not at all what the article is talking about.

This literally has nothing to do with the article brought up. You should really take your opinions somewhere else before you speak about something that doesn’t make sense.

we have the same name

so they have the same name what of it?

lol you tell her

totally agree

What does that have to do with homework, that is not what the article talks about AT ALL.

Yes, I think homework plays an important role in the development of student life. Through homework, students have to face challenges on a daily basis and they try to solve them quickly.I am an intense online tutor at 24x7homeworkhelp and I give homework to my students at that level in which they handle it easily.

More than two-thirds of students said they used alcohol and drugs, primarily marijuana, to cope with stress.

You know what’s funny? I got this assignment to write an argument for homework about homework and this article was really helpful and understandable, and I also agree with this article’s point of view.

I also got the same task as you! I was looking for some good resources and I found this! I really found this article useful and easy to understand, just like you! ^^

i think that homework is the best thing that a child can have on the school because it help them with their thinking and memory.

I am a child myself and i think homework is a terrific pass time because i can’t play video games during the week. It also helps me set goals.

Homework is not harmful ,but it will if there is too much

I feel like, from a minors point of view that we shouldn’t get homework. Not only is the homework stressful, but it takes us away from relaxing and being social. For example, me and my friends was supposed to hang at the mall last week but we had to postpone it since we all had some sort of work to do. Our minds shouldn’t be focused on finishing an assignment that in realty, doesn’t matter. I completely understand that we should have homework. I have to write a paper on the unimportance of homework so thanks.

homework isn’t that bad

Are you a student? if not then i don’t really think you know how much and how severe todays homework really is

i am a student and i do not enjoy homework because i practice my sport 4 out of the five days we have school for 4 hours and that’s not even counting the commute time or the fact i still have to shower and eat dinner when i get home. its draining!

i totally agree with you. these people are such boomers

why just why

they do make a really good point, i think that there should be a limit though. hours and hours of homework can be really stressful, and the extra work isn’t making a difference to our learning, but i do believe homework should be optional and extra credit. that would make it for students to not have the leaning stress of a assignment and if you have a low grade you you can catch up.

Studies show that homework improves student achievement in terms of improved grades, test results, and the likelihood to attend college. Research published in the High School Journal indicates that students who spent between 31 and 90 minutes each day on homework “scored about 40 points higher on the SAT-Mathematics subtest than their peers, who reported spending no time on homework each day, on average.” On both standardized tests and grades, students in classes that were assigned homework outperformed 69% of students who didn’t have homework. A majority of studies on homework’s impact – 64% in one meta-study and 72% in another – showed that take home assignments were effective at improving academic achievement. Research by the Institute for the Study of Labor (IZA) concluded that increased homework led to better GPAs and higher probability of college attendance for high school boys. In fact, boys who attended college did more than three hours of additional homework per week in high school.

So how are your measuring student achievement? That’s the real question. The argument that doing homework is simply a tool for teaching responsibility isn’t enough for me. We can teach responsibility in a number of ways. Also the poor argument that parents don’t need to help with homework, and that students can do it on their own, is wishful thinking at best. It completely ignores neurodiverse students. Students in poverty aren’t magically going to find a space to do homework, a friend’s or siblings to help them do it, and snacks to eat. I feel like the author of this piece has never set foot in a classroom of students.

THIS. This article is pathetic coming from a university. So intellectually dishonest, refusing to address the havoc of capitalism and poverty plays on academic success in life. How can they in one sentence use poor kids in an argument and never once address that poor children have access to damn near 0 of the resources affluent kids have? Draw me a picture and let’s talk about feelings lmao what a joke is that gonna put food in their belly so they can have the calories to burn in order to use their brain to study? What about quiet their 7 other siblings that they share a single bedroom with for hours? Is it gonna force the single mom to magically be at home and at work at the same time to cook food while you study and be there to throw an encouraging word?

Also the “parents don’t need to be a parent and be able to guide their kid at all academically they just need to exist in the next room” is wild. Its one thing if a parent straight up is not equipped but to say kids can just figured it out is…. wow coming from an educator What’s next the teacher doesn’t need to teach cause the kid can just follow the packet and figure it out?

Well then get a tutor right? Oh wait you are poor only affluent kids can afford a tutor for their hours of homework a day were they on average have none of the worries a poor child does. Does this address that poor children are more likely to also suffer abuse and mental illness? Like mentioned what about kids that can’t learn or comprehend the forced standardized way? Just let em fail? These children regularly are not in “special education”(some of those are a joke in their own and full of neglect and abuse) programs cause most aren’t even acknowledged as having disabilities or disorders.

But yes all and all those pesky poor kids just aren’t being worked hard enough lol pretty sure poor children’s existence just in childhood is more work, stress, and responsibility alone than an affluent child’s entire life cycle. Love they never once talked about the quality of education in the classroom being so bad between the poor and affluent it can qualify as segregation, just basically blamed poor people for being lazy, good job capitalism for failing us once again!

why the hell?

you should feel bad for saying this, this article can be helpful for people who has to write a essay about it

This is more of a political rant than it is about homework

I know a teacher who has told his students their homework is to find something they are interested in, pursue it and then come share what they learn. The student responses are quite compelling. One girl taught herself German so she could talk to her grandfather. One boy did a research project on Nelson Mandela because the teacher had mentioned him in class. Another boy, a both on the autism spectrum, fixed his family’s computer. The list goes on. This is fourth grade. I think students are highly motivated to learn, when we step aside and encourage them.

The whole point of homework is to give the students a chance to use the material that they have been presented with in class. If they never have the opportunity to use that information, and discover that it is actually useful, it will be in one ear and out the other. As a science teacher, it is critical that the students are challenged to use the material they have been presented with, which gives them the opportunity to actually think about it rather than regurgitate “facts”. Well designed homework forces the student to think conceptually, as opposed to regurgitation, which is never a pretty sight

Wonderful discussion. and yes, homework helps in learning and building skills in students.

not true it just causes kids to stress

Homework can be both beneficial and unuseful, if you will. There are students who are gifted in all subjects in school and ones with disabilities. Why should the students who are gifted get the lucky break, whereas the people who have disabilities suffer? The people who were born with this “gift” go through school with ease whereas people with disabilities struggle with the work given to them. I speak from experience because I am one of those students: the ones with disabilities. Homework doesn’t benefit “us”, it only tears us down and put us in an abyss of confusion and stress and hopelessness because we can’t learn as fast as others. Or we can’t handle the amount of work given whereas the gifted students go through it with ease. It just brings us down and makes us feel lost; because no mater what, it feels like we are destined to fail. It feels like we weren’t “cut out” for success.

homework does help

here is the thing though, if a child is shoved in the face with a whole ton of homework that isn’t really even considered homework it is assignments, it’s not helpful. the teacher should make homework more of a fun learning experience rather than something that is dreaded

This article was wonderful, I am going to ask my teachers about extra, or at all giving homework.

I agree. Especially when you have homework before an exam. Which is distasteful as you’ll need that time to study. It doesn’t make any sense, nor does us doing homework really matters as It’s just facts thrown at us.

Homework is too severe and is just too much for students, schools need to decrease the amount of homework. When teachers assign homework they forget that the students have other classes that give them the same amount of homework each day. Students need to work on social skills and life skills.

I disagree.

Beyond achievement, proponents of homework argue that it can have many other beneficial effects. They claim it can help students develop good study habits so they are ready to grow as their cognitive capacities mature. It can help students recognize that learning can occur at home as well as at school. Homework can foster independent learning and responsible character traits. And it can give parents an opportunity to see what’s going on at school and let them express positive attitudes toward achievement.

Homework is helpful because homework helps us by teaching us how to learn a specific topic.

As a student myself, I can say that I have almost never gotten the full 9 hours of recommended sleep time, because of homework. (Now I’m writing an essay on it in the middle of the night D=)

I am a 10 year old kid doing a report about “Is homework good or bad” for homework before i was going to do homework is bad but the sources from this site changed my mind!

Homeowkr is god for stusenrs

I agree with hunter because homework can be so stressful especially with this whole covid thing no one has time for homework and every one just wants to get back to there normal lives it is especially stressful when you go on a 2 week vaca 3 weeks into the new school year and and then less then a week after you come back from the vaca you are out for over a month because of covid and you have no way to get the assignment done and turned in

As great as homework is said to be in the is article, I feel like the viewpoint of the students was left out. Every where I go on the internet researching about this topic it almost always has interviews from teachers, professors, and the like. However isn’t that a little biased? Of course teachers are going to be for homework, they’re not the ones that have to stay up past midnight completing the homework from not just one class, but all of them. I just feel like this site is one-sided and you should include what the students of today think of spending four hours every night completing 6-8 classes worth of work.

Are we talking about homework or practice? Those are two very different things and can result in different outcomes.

Homework is a graded assignment. I do not know of research showing the benefits of graded assignments going home.

Practice; however, can be extremely beneficial, especially if there is some sort of feedback (not a grade but feedback). That feedback can come from the teacher, another student or even an automated grading program.

As a former band director, I assigned daily practice. I never once thought it would be appropriate for me to require the students to turn in a recording of their practice for me to grade. Instead, I had in-class assignments/assessments that were graded and directly related to the practice assigned.

I would really like to read articles on “homework” that truly distinguish between the two.

oof i feel bad good luck!

thank you guys for the artical because I have to finish an assingment. yes i did cite it but just thanks

thx for the article guys.

Homework is good

I think homework is helpful AND harmful. Sometimes u can’t get sleep bc of homework but it helps u practice for school too so idk.

I agree with this Article. And does anyone know when this was published. I would like to know.

It was published FEb 19, 2019.

Studies have shown that homework improved student achievement in terms of improved grades, test results, and the likelihood to attend college.

i think homework can help kids but at the same time not help kids

This article is so out of touch with majority of homes it would be laughable if it wasn’t so incredibly sad.

There is no value to homework all it does is add stress to already stressed homes. Parents or adults magically having the time or energy to shepherd kids through homework is dome sort of 1950’s fantasy.

What lala land do these teachers live in?

Homework gives noting to the kid

Homework is Bad

homework is bad.

why do kids even have homework?

Comments are closed.

Latest from Bostonia

Rev. james lawson, crusading confidant of mlk, dies at 95, his first broadway show just earned this cfa alum a tony award nod, kyrie irving signs his dad—bu alum drederick irving—to his shoe line, opening doors: michele courton brown (cas’83), six bu alums to remember this memorial day, american academy of arts & sciences welcomes five bu members, com’s newest journalism grad took her time, could boston be the next city to impose congestion pricing, alum has traveled the world to witness total solar eclipses, opening doors: rhonda harrison (eng’98,’04, grs’04), campus reacts and responds to israel-hamas war, reading list: what the pandemic revealed, remembering com’s david anable, cas’ john stone, “intellectual brilliance and brilliant kindness”, one good deed: christine kannler (cas’96, sph’00, camed’00), william fairfield warren society inducts new members, spreading art appreciation, restoring the “black angels” to medical history, in the kitchen with jacques pépin, feedback: readers weigh in on bu’s new president, com’s new expert on misinformation, and what’s really dividing the nation.

• Skip to Nav
• Skip to Main
• Skip to Footer

How important is homework, and how much should parents help?

Please try again

A version of this post was  originally published  by Parenting Translator. Sign up for  the newsletter  and follow Parenting Translator  on Instagram .

In recent years, homework has become a very hot topic . Many parents and educators have raised concerns about homework and questioned how effective it is in enhancing students’ learning. There are also concerns that students may be getting too much homework, which ultimately interferes with quality family time and opportunities for physical activity and play . Research suggests that these concerns may be valid. For example, one study reported that elementary school students, on average, are assigned three times  the recommended amount of homework.

So what does the research say? What are the potential risks and benefits of homework, and how much is too much?

Academic benefits

First, research finds that homework is associated with higher scores on academic standardized tests for middle and high school students, but not elementary school students . A recent experimental study in Romania found some benefit for a small amount of writing homework in elementary students but not math homework. Yet, interestingly, this positive impact only occurred when students were given a moderate amount of homework (about 20 minutes on average).

Non-academic benefits

The goal of homework is not simply to improve academic skills. Research finds that homework may have some non-academic benefits, such as building responsibility , time management skills, and task persistence . Homework may also increase parents’ involvement in their children’s schooling. Yet, too much homework may also have some negative impacts on non-academic skills by reducing opportunities for free play , which is essential for the development of language, cognitive, self-regulation and social-emotional skills. Homework may also interfere with physical activity and too much homework is associated with an increased risk for being overweight . As with the research on academic benefits, this research also suggests that homework may be beneficial when it is minimal.

What is the “right” amount of homework?

Research suggests that homework should not exceed 1.5 to 2.5 hours per night for high school students and no more than one hour per night for middle school students. Homework for elementary school students should be minimal and assigned with the aim of building self-regulation and independent work skills. Any more than this and homework may no longer have a positive impact. 

The National Education Association recommends 10 minutes of homework per grade and there is also some experimental evidence that backs this up.

Overall translation

Research finds that homework provides some academic benefit for middle and high school students but is less beneficial for elementary school students. Research suggests that homework should be none or minimal for elementary students, less than one hour per night for middle school students, and less than 1.5 to 2.5 hours for high school students. 

What can parents do?

Research finds that parental help with homework is beneficial but that it matters more how the parent is helping rather than  how often  the parent is helping.

So how should parents help with homework, according to the research? 

• Focus on providing general monitoring, guidance and encouragement, but allow children to generate answers on their own and complete their homework as independently as possible . Specifically, be present while they are completing homework to help them to understand the directions, be available to answer simple questions, or praise and acknowledge their effort and hard work. Research shows that allowing children more autonomy in completing homework may benefit their academic skills.
• Only provide help when your child asks for it and step away whenever possible. Research finds that too much parental involvement or intrusive and controlling involvement with homework is associated with worse academic performance . 
• Help your children to create structure and develop some routines that help your child to independently complete their homework . Have a regular time and place for homework that is free from distractions and has all of the materials they need within arm’s reach. Help your child to create a checklist for homework tasks. Create rules for homework with your child. Help children to develop strategies for increasing their own self-motivation. For example, developing their own reward system or creating a homework schedule with breaks for fun activities. Research finds that providing this type of structure and responsiveness is related to improved academic skills.
• Set specific rules around homework. Research finds an association between parents setting rules around homework and academic performance. 
• Help your child to view homework as an opportunity to learn and improve skills. Parents who view homework as a learning opportunity (that is, a “mastery orientation”) rather than something that they must get “right” or complete successfully to obtain a higher grade (that is, a “performance orientation”) are more likely to have children with the same attitudes. 
• Encourage your child to persist in challenging assignments and emphasize difficult assignments as opportunities to grow . Research finds that this attitude is associated with student success. Research also indicates that more challenging homework is associated with enhanced academic performance.
• Stay calm and positive during homework. Research shows that mothers showing positive emotions while helping with homework may improve children’s motivation in homework.
• Praise your child’s hard work and effort during homework.   This type of praise is likely to increase motivation. In addition, research finds that putting more effort into homework may be associated with enhanced development of conscientiousness in children.
• Communicate with your child and the teacher about any problems your child has with homework and the teacher’s learning goals. Research finds that open communication about homework is associated with increased academic performance.

Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of three and the founder of  Parenting Translator , a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.

• Skip to main content
• Skip to primary sidebar
• Skip to footer

Additional menu

Khan Academy Blog

Making Homework Easier: Tips and Tools for Parents 

posted on September 20, 2023

By Stephanie Yamkovenko , group manager of Khan Academy’s Digital Marketing Team.

Homework can present challenges for parents and children alike. You naturally want to provide support for your child’s learning journey and ensure they are reaching their full potential. In this blog post, we will delve into practical strategies to assist your child with their homework. From fostering understanding and offering encouragement to breaking down tasks and implementing rewards, we will explore a variety of effective approaches to help your child achieve academic success.

Step 1: Set Up Your Child for Success

Your child’s study environment can have a significant impact on their homework performance. Create a space that is free from distractions like the television, smartphones, or noisy siblings. The study space should be comfortable, well lit, and have all the necessary materials your child might need, such as pens, papers, and textbooks. If your child’s workspace is noisy or uncomfortable, they may have difficulty focusing on their homework, resulting in lower productivity. 

For example, if you live in a small apartment, consider setting up a designated corner with a small desk or table where your child can focus on their work. You can use dividers or screens to create a sense of privacy and minimize distractions.

If the only place to do homework is in the dining room or kitchen, try to establish a routine where the area is cleared and organized before study time. This can help signal to your child that it’s time to concentrate and be productive.

Remember, it’s important to adapt to your specific circumstances and make the best of the available space. The key is to create a dedicated study area that promotes focus and minimizes interruptions regardless of the size or location of your home.

Try Confidence Boosters for Your Child Here!

Step 2: make it fun.

It’s important to make homework fun and engaging for your child. Here are some examples of how you can do it:

• Use games : Incorporate educational games like card games, board games, or puzzles that align with the subject your child is learning. For instance, use Scrabble to practice spelling or Sudoku to enhance problem-solving skills.
• Turn it into a challenge : Create a friendly competition between siblings or friends by setting goals or time limits for completing assignments. Offer small rewards or incentives for accomplishing tasks.
• Make it interactive : Use hands-on activities or experiments to reinforce concepts learned in class. For science or math, conduct simple experiments at home or use manipulatives like blocks or counters to visualize abstract concepts.
• Use technology : Explore online educational platforms or apps that offer interactive learning experiences. There are various educational games, virtual simulations, and videos available that can make homework more enjoyable.
• Incorporate creativity : Encourage your child to express their understanding through art, storytelling, or multimedia presentations. For example, they can create a comic strip to summarize a story or make a short video to explain a concept.

Remember, by making homework enjoyable, you can help your child develop a positive attitude towards learning.

Step 3: Use Rewards

Rewards can be a powerful motivational tool for children. Offering positive reinforcement can encourage them to complete their homework on time and to the best of their ability. 

Here are some examples of rewards our team has used with their children:

• Extra screen time: “I use Apple parental controls to add screen time on their iPad.”
• Access to a favorite toy: “My eight year old has a drum kit, which drives us all up the wall. (Thanks, Grandma!) But when they’ve been doing a lot of school work, we put on headphones and let him go nuts.”
• Praise for a job well done: “Specific, measurable praise is what works best.” 
• Trip to the park: “A trip to the park is good for everyone, especially for the kids to run around with the doggos.”
• Movie night: “I know every word and song lyric in Moana ; we now reserve showings for good behavior.” 
• Stickers or stamps: “Gold stars were such a thing growing up in the 80s; turns out they still work.”
• Stay up a little later: “An extra 30 minutes feels like a whole day for my young ones; use this reward with caution as it can become the expectation!”

So, celebrate your child’s efforts and encourage them to continue doing their best.

Step 4: Break Down Difficult Tasks

When facing daunting homework assignments, follow these step-by-step instructions to break down the tasks into smaller, manageable chunks:

• Understand the requirements and scope of the task.
• Break down the assignment into individual tasks or sub-tasks.  
• Splitting the middle term
• Using formula
• Using Quadratic formula
• Using algebraic identities
• Determine the order in which tasks should be completed based on importance or difficulty. 
• Start with the easiest task. Begin with the task that seems the least challenging or time-consuming.
• Progress to more challenging tasks: Once the easier tasks are completed, move on to more difficult ones.
• Take breaks: Schedule short breaks between tasks to avoid burnout and maintain focus.
• Check completed tasks for accuracy and make any necessary revisions.
• Finish the remaining task(s) with the same approach.
• Celebrate small achievements to boost confidence and keep motivation high.

By following these steps, you can make daunting homework assignments more manageable and less overwhelming for your child.

Step 5: Get Targeted Help

If your child is struggling with homework, it might be worth considering seeking personalized assistance. You have the option to search for professional tutors or explore online tutoring platforms, such as Khan Academy’s AI tutor, Khanmigo .

This AI tutor can offer personalized guidance and support tailored to your child’s specific needs, helping them grasp complex concepts and practice essential skills. Incorporating this approach can effectively complement your child’s learning and enhance their homework performance.

Enhance your child’s learning and boost homework performance!

Homework can be a challenge for both parents and children. But with the right approach, you can help your child overcome difficulties and support their learning. Encourage and understand your child, create a comfortable environment, break down difficult tasks, use rewards, get professional help when needed, and make it fun. With these tips and techniques, you can help your child achieve success, develop a love for learning, and achieve academic excellence. Remember that each child learns differently, so it’s essential to adjust your approach to meet their unique needs.

Get Khanmigo

The best way to learn and teach with AI is here. Ace the school year with our AI-powered guide, Khanmigo. 

For learners     For teachers     For parents

Battles Over Homework: Advice For Parents

Guidelines for helping children develop self-discipline with their homework..

Posted September 5, 2012 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma

I would like to offer some advice about one of the most frequent problems presented to me in over 30 years of clinical practice: battles over homework. I have half-jokingly told many parents that if the schools of New York State no longer required homework, our children’s education would suffer (slightly). But, as a child psychologist, I would be out of business.

Many parents accept this conflict with their children as an unavoidable consequence of responsible parenting . These battles, however, rarely result in improved learning or performance in school. More often than not, battles over homework lead to vicious cycles of nagging by parents and avoidance or refusal by children, with no improvement in a child’s school performance. And certainly no progress toward what should be our ultimate goals : helping children enjoy learning and develop age-appropriate discipline and independence with respect to their schoolwork.

Before I present a plan for reducing battles over homework, it is important to begin with this essential reminder:

The solution to the problem of homework always begins with an accurate diagnosis and a recognition of the demands placed on your child. Parents should never assume that a child who resists doing homework is “lazy.”

Every child whose parents or teachers report ongoing resistance to completing schoolwork or homework; every child whose performance in school is below expectations based on his parents’ or teachers’ intuitive assessment of his intellectual potential; and every child who, over an extended period of time, complains that he “hates school” or “hates reading,” should be evaluated for the presence of an attention or learning disorder.

These children are not lazy. Your child may be anxious, frustrated, discouraged, distracted, or angry—but this is not laziness. I frequently explain to parents that, as a psychologist, the word lazy is not in my dictionary. Lazy, at best, is a description, not an explanation.

For children with learning difficulties, doing their homework is like running with a sprained ankle: It is possible, although painful, and he will look for ways to avoid or postpone this painful and discouraging task.

A Homework Plan

Homework, like any constructive activity, involves moments of frustration, discouragement, and anxiety . If you begin with some appreciation of your child’s frustration and discouragement, you will be better able to put in place a structure that helps him learn to work through his frustration—to develop increments of frustration tolerance and self-discipline.

I offer families who struggle with this problem a Homework Plan:

• Set aside a specified, and limited, time for homework. Establish, early in the evening, a homework hour.
• For most children, immediately after school is not the best time for homework. This is a time for sports, for music and drama, and free play.
• During the homework hour, all electronics are turned off—for the entire family.
• Work is done in a communal place, at the kitchen or dining room table. Contrary to older conventional wisdom , most elementary school children are able to work more much effectively in a common area, with an adult and even other children present, than in the “quiet” of their rooms.
• Parents may do their own ”homework” during this time, but they are present and continually available to help, to offer encouragement, and to answer children’s questions. Your goal is to create, to the extent possible, a library atmosphere in your home, again, for a specified and limited period of time. Ideally, therefore, parents should not make or receive telephone calls during this hour. And when homework is done, there is time for play.
• Begin with a reasonable, a doable, amount of time set aside for homework. If your child is unable to work for 20 minutes, begin with 10 minutes. Then try 15 minutes in the next week. Acknowledge every increment of effort, however small.
• Be positive and give frequent encouragement. Make note of every improvement, not every mistake.
• Be generous with your praise. Praise their effort, not their innate ability. But do not be afraid of praise.
• Anticipate setbacks. After a difficult day, reset for the following day.
• Give them time. A child’s difficulty completing homework begins as a problem of frustration and discouragement, but it is then complicated by defiant attitudes and feelings of unfairness. A homework plan will begin to reduce these defiant attitudes, but this will not happen overnight.

Most families have found these suggestions helpful, especially for elementary school children. Establishing a homework hour allows parents to move away from a language of threats (“If you don’t__ you won’t be able to__”) to a language of opportunities (“When” or “As soon as” you have finished__ we’ll have a chance to__”).

Of course, for many hurried families, there are complications and potential glitches in implementing any homework plan. It is often difficult, with children’s many activities, to find a consistent time for homework. Some flexibility, some amendments to the plan, may be required. But we should not use the complications of scheduling or other competing demands as an excuse, a reason not to establish the structure of a reasonable homework routine.

Copyright Ken Barish, Ph.D.

See Pride and Joy: A Guide to Understanding Your Child’s Emotions and Solving Family Problems .

Kenneth Barish, Ph.D. , is a clinical associate professor of Psychology at Weill Medical College, Cornell University.

• Find a Therapist
• Find a Treatment Center
• Find a Psychiatrist
• Find a Support Group
• Find Online Therapy
• United States
• Brooklyn, NY
• Chicago, IL
• Houston, TX
• Los Angeles, CA
• New York, NY
• Portland, OR
• San Diego, CA
• San Francisco, CA
• Seattle, WA
• Washington, DC
• Asperger's
• Bipolar Disorder
• Chronic Pain
• Eating Disorders
• Passive Aggression
• Personality
• Goal Setting
• Positive Psychology
• Stopping Smoking
• Low Sexual Desire
• Relationships
• Child Development
• Self Tests NEW
• Therapy Center
• Diagnosis Dictionary
• Types of Therapy

At any moment, someone’s aggravating behavior or our own bad luck can set us off on an emotional spiral that could derail our entire day. Here’s how we can face triggers with less reactivity and get on with our lives.

• Emotional Intelligence
• Gaslighting
• Affective Forecasting
• Neuroscience

• August 11, 2022

Why Homework Is Important to Kids and Parents

The great homework debate is an ongoing conflict, with  some experts  saying the take-home lessons should be abolished, while others think they should be limited by age or completion time. Despite the controversy, homework is still a normal assignment for most school-age students to receive. So, what’s the importance of homework in a learner’s life? Well, answering the question of why is homework important for students will also answer the question of why is homework important for parents, too.

10 Benefits of Homework

Acts as a bridge between school and home.

Even if teachers and parents aren’t using the margins of a child’s homework to send messages back and forth in writing, a student’s take-home assignments can still be a de facto communication network used by two of the people most responsible for their unassuming courier’s continued learning.

When teachers assign homework, it can help teachers and parents unravel the puzzle that is their student’s learning preferences—an invaluable piece of knowledge to have in their quest to encourage enrichment and progress. Additionally, some parents like homework because it provides a window into their child’s daily lessons.

More Time with Material

Despite a teacher’s best efforts, there are concepts that may continue to elude some students even after ample instructional time and effort. That’s okay—children learn in different ways and at different speeds.

During homework, the additional time learners spend engaged with a subject can be exactly what they need to begin piecing things together and grasping the lesson presented in the day’s materials. Homework affords them all the time they need to explore those ideas without the societal pressures or time constraints they may experience in a classroom setting.

Using Resources to Their Advantage

In an academic setting, knowing something means being able to recall it from memory and prove that knowledge on an exam, in an essay or during a conversation. Knowing how to find that fact using an educational resource like a library, a reference book or the Internet can be an equally useful long-term skill, though.

Working from home and having access to resources outside the classroom helps show a child the best avenue for finding the information they require and teaches them to use those tools when searching for relevant, factual information.

An Environment Conducive to Learning

Teachers can devote a lot of effort to making their classrooms feel like welcoming, safe areas that allow for the exploration and internalization of important academic concepts. However, despite an educator’s best attempts, some students may never be able to feel as comfortable as they do when they’re at home.

For those learners, homework exists as a chance for them to interact with the day’s material in their most open, relaxed state. At home, they’re free of the distractions and hindrances of a public place, allowing them to truly be themselves.

This can help accelerate the development of those children since learning while comfortable and in a good mindset is the best way to internalize and memorize the lesson at hand.

Teaches Students to Efficiently Manage Their Time

We’ve already touched on homework’s ability to familiarize kids with resources available to them beyond those they’ve come to rely on in their classrooms. Time management skills are another secondary lesson that homework can bestow upon young people, and it’s an important one to learn if they hope to make the most of their waking hours.

Self-regulating the task of homework helps kids figure out how to manage their own workloads and increases their ability to act autonomously and responsibly. Homework always has a due date, and taking on this due date—with the responsibility of meeting it—encourages independent thinking and problem solving.

If learned properly, time management is a skill young people will carry with them, first utilizing it to manage multiple facets of their life during any post-secondary educational pursuits before relying on it to get the most out of their adult years.

Improves Self-esteem

Whether they’re reinforcing a lesson they’ve already explored or successfully grasping the concepts after a healthy amount of after-school study time, homework can help foster the self-esteem necessary for students to excel in both academics and everyday situations. Taking the lessons learned during class and applying them independently to assignments can do wonders for a child’s self-autonomy and self-reliance. It can also give them the confidence necessary to trust their learning process and fight through failures to their eventual understanding.

Enhances the Next Day’s Lesson

When students explore their take home work, they may find questions they didn’t know they had. This allows each student to have a grasp on the homework and come ready for a class discussion. Effective homework does more than just ask students to complete its tasks before the next class period, it also engages kids and lays the groundwork for an enriching learning session.

Helps Identify Weaknesses

Homework can instill confidence and self-esteem by giving students a safe environment to practice problem solving and self-reliance, but homework can also shine a spotlight on the weaknesses particular lessons may expose in a student’s knowledge. Even if they find these revelations discouraging, identifying areas needing improvement can be just as important—possibly more important—than strengthening self-esteem.

Facing a shortcoming can teach a student how to handle adversity, fixing that shortcoming can help a student learn that progress is possible, and repeating the process can solidify a student’s confidence in their learning process and ability to internalize concepts.

Improves Performance

Benchmarks like grades and academic awards may be external motivators and less effective than intrinsic motivation, but these can also be happy secondary effects of healthier motivational styles—and homework can play a big part in reaching those milestones. Keeping up with after school work can improve student’s grades and scores on standardized tests.

Widen Attention Span

When doing homework, students—especially older students—are responsible for managing their own attention span. There aren’t any teachers at their homes yelling about daydreaming, doodling or other self-imposed distractions. Teachers assign homework, then homework teaches some life skills necessary to excel in high school and beyond.

How to Help Your Child with Homework

Praise hard work.

Making a point to recognize the effort and hard work school students are putting into their out-of-the-classroom learning can help them form a positive relationship with their homework. It can also help craft the act of completing that work into an internal motivation. It’s important to avoid praise that promotes achievement motivation, such as a focus on a specific award or position, but the work a child is putting into those possible achievements shouldn’t go unpraised.

Homework Sessions

On nights when a large amount of homework seems to be a daunting task, make a plan with your young person to tackle their assignments. Splitting work up into sessions helps make tasks more manageable.

It’s Not Your Homework

Help your learner grasp concepts by supporting them and answering reasonable questions, but ensure they’re learning by making sure they’re the ones completing homework.

A Child’s Home Office

Create a dedicated, well-lit area where students can complete homework without worrying about distractions. Keep the area stocked with items they’re frequently using to complete assignments.

Affix Homework to A Certain Time

Routines can help people maintain responsibilities and get used to doing certain tasks. Figure out the best time for your child’s productivity and deem that period as homework or study time.

Discuss Lessons Before Your Child Tackles Homework

If a child feels like the subject of their homework is a little too difficult for them, they could lose interest in a topic or subject that used to make them excited to learn. Even if you have good communication with your learner, this may be difficult to observe, so it’s recommended you speak with kids about the new subjects they’re learning in school and go through some of their homework with them before allowing them to complete the rest on their own.

Check in on your child periodically and provide help where necessary. While checking in, let them know you’re always there to help and they’re never completely on their own. This safety net can be an important part of the learning process.

Monitor A Student’s Progress

Research consistently shows a link between parental involvement concerning the learning of a child and that child’s achievement in a school setting. Homework is an easy, tangible way for parents to see their child’s progress while taking an active approach to their child’s educational career.

Help Your Child Excel at School

Healthy, positive and productive homework habits with the right amount of parental intervention can push a child’s academic performance to the next level. The at-home lessons don’t have to stop there, though.

Virtual learning materials like Juni Learning’s online courses can supplement homework lessons or become one of a child’s out-of-classroom academic resources. Find  Juni Learning’s curriculum overview here  and, when you’re ready,  browse their selection of courses here . Juni Learning can help your child become a more confident student, inside and outside school.

Juni Student Spotlight: Diya Cheruku — Published Teen Novelist

Python Coding Classes for Kids: This Is How to Start

Block Coding for Kids: What Is It and Why Is It Effective?

Go further with juni.

Find your potential through our exclusive educational content, guides, and resources only available to Juni Subscribers.

Recent Posts

Looking for a juni course check out our course explorer.

EXPLORE ALL COURSES >>

Get fun activities sent straight to your inbox

Enjoyed this article? Become a Juni subscriber to get even more exclusive educational content, guides, and deals sent straight to your email inbox.

Investing & Entrepreneurship

Communications

Help with Schoolwork

All Courses

How It Works

Instructors

Student Projects

On Demand ACT & SAT Prep

Help Center & FAQ

Founders’ Story

Instructor Jobs

Our Policies

Subscribe to our newsletter

Learn about our latest events, resources, programs, and more!

By subscribing you agree with our Terms of Use & Privacy Policy .

2261 Market St #4242, San Francisco, CA 94114

[email protected]

Discover more from Juni Learning

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Type your email…

Continue reading

The New York Times

Advertisement

The Opinion Pages

November 12, 2014

Should Parents Help Their Children With Homework?

Introduction.

Sociologists at the University of Texas at Austin and Duke University have found that parental involvement, including homework help, can have a negative effect on a child’s academic achievement.

As parents fret to give their children the tools to be successful in the future, are they doing more harm than good? Is parental involvement out of control?

Help With Forming Good Study Habits

Erika A. Patall, University of Texas

When kids feel like homework has value and doing it is their own choice, it will seem more interesting and lead to greater achievement.

The Homework Parent Trap

Alfie Kohn, author

I think “back off and let 'em fend for themselves” is poor advice. What's needed isn't less parenting but better parenting. But that's not an argument in favor of homework.

Not All Students Have Access to Help

H. Richard Milner IV, University of Pittsburgh

Questions about the uneven distribution of resources should be at the very heart of our philosophies and practices in deciding on homework assignments.

Autonomy Works Best for the Classroom

Jessica Lahey, Author, "The Gift of Failure"

The children of controlling parents, who intervene and manage every detail of their child’s performance, tend to give up when faced with challenge and frustration.

Be Supportive and Let Learning Happen

Martha Brockenbrough, former teacher, author

My daughters have handed in homework that’s less than perfect. And this might look like incompetence, but when I see it, I see learning in progress.

Don’t Bother, Homework Is Pointless

Sara Bennett, author, "The Case Against Homework"

Educators should realize that homework sets up a pattern of dependence that continues throughout the school years, rather than instilling responsibility and self-discipline as they claim.

Recent Discussions

• Newsletters
• Account Activating this button will toggle the display of additional content Account Sign out

Hey, Parents of K–5 Kids: Hands Off the Homework!

If they don’t ask for help, you don’t need to offer..

The beginning of a new school year can be stressful for kids and parents alike. But one thing parents of elementary-school kids shouldn’t have to stress over is supervising homework daily, because we now have evidence that such supervision actually may not have a positive impact on children’s academic achievement.

While there is an ongoing debate among educators whether homework is generally beneficial in elementary school, in my view, it depends on the nature of the work assigned. Developmentally appropriate homework on relevant material that can be done by the child independently (without need of adult supervision) is, I think, contributing to formation of habits that will serve the child well as they move through their education journey. The “10 minutes per grade” rule seems like a reasonable practice (so that a second grader, for example, might be asked to read for 20 minutes a day).

That question of “adult supervision” is where my new research comes in. We know parental help with homework has been long hailed by educators and policymakers as an effective mechanism to help children succeed, but having studied parenting practices as a sociologist of education and childhood for over two decades, I questioned whether data actually supported this widely held claim. As it turns out, my recent research, conducted at Penn State, suggests that parents could be wasting their time.

My study, using two nationally representative datasets that each tracked about 20,000 kids from kindergarten through fifth grade, showed no benefits of parental help with homework. In other words, we found no statistically significant association between parental help with homework, as measured by level of intensity (from everyday help, to less than once a week) and self-reported during parent interviews at each wave of data collection, and subsequent math and reading achievement. While my research cannot prove the mechanisms by which potential benefits of parental help with homework for this age group are outweighed, my team and I suggested three possible explanations: cognitive loss, adverse effects on home emotional climate, and deferred responsibility.

Under pressure to get homework completed, parents might think they’re helping their kids by offering the correct answers. Research by others, however, suggests that this practice deprives students of the main purpose of homework—to sharpen problem-solving and other skills. This parental intervention may also mask a child’s skills or knowledge gap that would have otherwise been discovered by a teacher.

The daily involvement of parents with a child’s homework has also been associated with a negative effect on the emotional climate of the family. Parents can be more critical than teachers, or they may apply too much pressure, or create an overall stressful situation by being too controlling and intrusive. That kind of parental behavior has been linked in other research to lower academic achievement, whereas supportive involvement has a positive effect.

Parents constantly checking a child’s homework for completion and accuracy may also send a message to the child that the responsibility of finishing homework falls on their parents, and not themselves. Developing a sense of responsibility for completing a task is an important behavior that a child can cultivate through homework.

I’m not suggesting that parents shouldn’t be involved at all in their children’s homework. Parents can enhance their children’s learning experience at home by providing a living space conducive to learning (a quiet atmosphere, free from distractions), and conveying a clear message about the importance of education—this is what other researchers have labeled “ stage setting ”. And it’s important for the child to know that if they really struggle, there is an adult who can help. But the help shouldn’t be provided automatically or imposed.

Parents can also redirect the time they would have spent fighting with kids over homework into more beneficial activities that boost kids’ emotional development, which has been shown to positively impact their future academic success, such as calm and positive conversations about school and their friends, what they enjoy in classes, and their academic goals. When parents develop warm, close relationships with their children, conveying the importance of doing well in school becomes a natural part of conversation, without being perceived as putting pressure on the child or “lecturing.”

Parental support is crucially important for children’s developing sense of self, as well as building their confidence to achieve various goals. Equally effective is encouraging your child to put forward their best effort, as opposed to achieving a certain defined outcome, such as being a straight A student.

Parents are misplacing their energy when they help their kids with homework. My research, which controls for the variety of family and parental characteristics, including income and education level of the parent, family structure and the child’s achievement, challenges widely accepted guidance , including some from the U.S. Department of Education, that promotes homework as “an opportunity for families to be involved in their children’s education.” I think it may, instead, be causing unnecessary stress to kids and parents alike.

As your elementary-aged children bring their homework home with them this fall, resist the temptation to get too involved. Allow them space to struggle and work through problems on their own, even if that means they won’t always come to the correct conclusions. Taking a small hit on an insignificant assignment now may set your child up for even greater success in the future.

Does Parent Involvement Really Help Students? Here’s What the Research Says

• Share article

Parental involvement has been a top priority for school leaders for decades, and research shows that it can make a major difference in student outcomes.

But a parents’ rights movement that has captured headlines over the past few years and become a major political force has painted a particular picture of what parents’ involvement in their children’s education looks like.

Policies that have passed in a number of individual school districts, states, and the U.S. House have spelled out parents’ rights to inspect curriculum materials and withdraw their children from lessons they deem objectionable; restricted teaching about race, gender identity, and sexuality; and resulted in the removal of books from school libraries, including many with LGBTQ+ characters and protagonists of color.

The parents’ rights movement has been divisive and attracted the ire of some teachers who feel censored. But it has also opened up the conversation around parent involvement in school, said Vito Borrello, executive director of the National Association for Family, School, and Community Engagement.

And that’s a good thing, he said.

“The parents’ rights bills in and of themselves, I wouldn’t suggest are entirely focused on best practice family engagement,” said Borrello, whose group works to advance effective family, school, and community engagement policies and practices. “However, what the parents’ rights bills have done is elevated the important role that parents have in their child’s education.”

For decades, research from around the world has shown that parents’ involvement in and engagement with their child’s education—including through parent-teacher conferences, parent-teacher organizations, school events, and at-home discussions about school—can lead to higher student achievement and better social-emotional outcomes.

Here are five takeaways from the research.

1. Studies show more parental involvement leads to improved academic outcomes

When parents are involved in their children’s schooling, students show higher academic achievement, school engagement, and motivation, according to a 2019 American Psychological Association review of 448 independent studies on parent involvement.

A 2005 study from researchers at the Johns Hopkins University Center on School, Family and Community Partnerships , for example, showed that school practices encouraging families to support their child’s math learning at home led to higher percentages of students scoring at or above proficiency on standardized math tests.

And research shows that parent involvement with reading activities has a positive impact on reading achievement, language comprehension, and expressive language skills, as well as students’ interest in reading, attitudes toward reading, and level of attention in the classroom, according to a research summary by the National Literacy Trust.

“When parents become involved at school by, for example, attending events such as open houses or volunteering in the classroom, they build social networks that can provide useful information, connections to school personnel (e.g., teachers), or strategies for enhancing children’s achievement,” the APA research review said. “In turn, parents with heightened social capital are better equipped to support their children in succeeding in school as they are able to call on resources (e.g., asking a teacher to spend extra time helping their children) and utilize information they have gathered (e.g., knowing when and how their children should complete their homework).”

2. Parent involvement changes social-emotional outcomes, too

The APA study showed that not only does parental involvement lead to improved academic outcomes, but it also has a positive impact on students’ social and emotional skills and decreases instances of delinquency.

That finding also applies internationally.

A 2014 International Education Studies report on parental involvement among 9th and 10th graders in Jordan showed that parental involvement had a positive impact on students’ emotional engagement in school. That means students with more involved parents are more likely to have fun, enjoy school, have high self-esteem, and perceive school as a satisfying experience.

And when parents visit their children’s school, that contributes to a sense of safety among the students, ultimately improving school engagement, the study said. Although conducted in Jordan, the study provides insight into how parental involvement affects students’ social-emotional development in other countries, including the United States.

Parent involvement also gives teachers the tools to better support their students, Borrello said.

“When teachers understand what their students are going through personally and at home and any challenges they may have, then that improves their teaching,” he said. “They’re able to support their student in ways they wouldn’t be able to otherwise.”

3. Not all parental involvement is created equal

Different levels and types of parent involvement led to varying outcomes for students, according to the American Psychological Association study.

For example, school-based involvement, such as participation in parent-teacher conferences, open houses, and other school events, had a positive impact on academics in preschool, middle school, and high school, but the size of the impact was much lower in high school than in preschool. That may be because parents have fewer opportunities to be involved in the high school environment than in younger students’ classrooms where parents might volunteer.

At-home discussions and encouragement surrounding school also have a positive impact on students’ academic achievement at all developmental stages, with that type of parent involvement being most effective for high schoolers, according to the study. Reading with children and taking them to the library have a positive impact as well.

But one common form of parental involvement, helping kids with their homework, was shown to have little impact on students’ academic achievement.

In fact, homework help had a small negative impact on student achievement, but positive impacts on student motivation and engagement in school, according to the APA study.

The research shows the value of encouraging parents to be involved in their student’s learning at home, and not just attending school events, Borrello said.

“In the past, schools either had an event that wasn’t connected to learning or only measured the engagement of a family based on how often they came to the school,” he said. “What families are doing to create an environment of learning and supporting learning at home, is probably even more important than how many times they’re coming to school.”

4. Results of parent involvement don’t discriminate based on race or socioeconomics

Research has shown a consensus that family and parent involvement in schools leads to better outcomes regardless of a family’s ethnic background or socioeconomic status.

Parent involvement has led to higher academic outcomes both for children from low and higher socioeconomic status families.

When comparing the impact of parent involvement on students of different races and ethnicities, the APA found that school-based involvement had a positive impact on academics among Black, Asian, white, and Hispanic children, with a stronger impact on Black and white families than families from other demographics. The finding also extended internationally, with similar effects on children outside of the United States.

5. Schools can encourage parent involvement in person and at home

Parent involvement doesn’t have to end with parent-teacher conferences. There are many ways for schools to encourage parents to be more involved both in school and at home, Borrello said.

The best way to start, he said, is by creating a school culture that is welcoming to families.

“That starts with the principal, and that starts with school leadership that is welcoming to families, from how they’re engaging parents in the classroom to what policies they have in schools to welcome families,” Borrello said.

Parent gathering spaces or rooms in school buildings, scheduled parent engagement meetings and office hours, and at-school events held outside of the school day are all good places to start, Borrello said. From there, schools can work to include parents in more decision-making, give parents resources to support learning at home, and equip teachers with the tools to engage and connect with parents.

“If the school is not welcoming and families don’t feel welcome at the school, then you’re not going to get them to come to school no matter what you do,” Borrello said. “Then it’s really thinking about who you’re creating those relationships with families so that they can be heard.”

Coverage of strategies for advancing the opportunities for students most in need, including those from low-income families and communities, is supported by a grant from the Walton Family Foundation, at www.waltonk12.org . Education Week retains sole editorial control over the content of this coverage. A version of this article appeared in the August 16, 2023 edition of Education Week as Does Parent Involvement Really Help Students? 5 Key Takeaways Based on The Research

Sign Up for The Savvy Principal

Edweek top school jobs.

Sign Up & Sign In

Parents and Homework: Should Parents Help with Homework?

Homework—like yellow buses and lockers—is a hallmark of the American school system. On average, teachers assign third graders 30 minutes and seventh graders 70 minutes of homework every night . Parents who help their kids with their school assignments may save them some time and ensure they’re doing the work. But do moms and dads help or hinder their child’s progress at school if they offer too much help?

Parents—Put Those Pens Down!

Most parents want to do all they can to prime their kids for future success. Researchers from University of Texas at Austin and Duke University, however, discovered that once children start middle school, parental help with homework might lower test scores . The reason: parents might have forgotten about the topics their kids learn in school—or never really understood them in the first place.

“Parents tend to take the reins of how they’re going to help with homework without consulting the child,” says Keith Robinson , assistant professor of sociology at the University of Texas and one of the researchers of the study. “So maybe parents could ask kids, ‘Is what I’m doing helping you?'”

On the other hand, some educators believe that children should complete their homework themselves. They say this will give children more independence , reduce homework-related arguments, and provide parents with more free time.

When Parental Help with Homework Is Helpful

There are still benefits for kids whose parents provide homework help. “It can, for example, provide opportunities for parents to see what their children are learning in school and help families communicate with their children and school staff,” according to The Department of Education . Parents can also set a regular time and place for assignments, limit distractions, take an interest in what their child is learning, and provide resources and supplies.

Other research suggests that kids spend more time on their homework when they receive help from their parents , particularly when it comes to math and social studies. Moreover, children consistently complete their homework when their parents are involved in their education.

How Much Help Is Too Much?

How parents help their children with homework is important. “Don’t complete your child’s assignments for them; ask them to think critically about how they can solve their problems,” says Project Appleseed , an organization that promotes public school improvement. “Feel free to re-explain concepts that they might have learned recently in school, but also encourage your children to look up information in their textbooks or solve a problem themselves.”

So, how involved should parents get? Should parents tell their kids the answer to a problem? Or let them work it out themselves? “Too much help can mean, in the short term, that the day’s lesson is not reinforced, which is the point of homework,” says Laureen Miles Brunelli , writing for The Spruce . “In the long term, if parents are overseeing homework too much, kids won’t learn the organizational skills they need. They can become disconnected from understanding their responsibilities when it comes to homework.” Still, a British study found that one in four parents actually do all of their child’s homework for them, believing that they simply have too much homework to handle.

Calling all parents! Do you help your child with their homework? Do you think parental help with homework influences test scores? Leave a comment below and share your views!

Related Articles

Nurturing Digital Literacy in Today’s Kids: A Parent’s Guide

June 25 2024

What Public Schools Can Do About Special Education Teacher Shortages

June 24 2024

Audiobooks for Kids: Benefits, Free Downloads, and More 

7 Fun Outdoor Summer Activities for Kids

June 18 2024

Beat the Summer Slide: Tips for Keeping Young Minds Active 

June 11 2024

How to Encourage Your Child To Pursue a Career

Easy Science Experiments For Kids To Do At Home This Summer

May 31 2024

4 Ways to Get Healthcare Experience in High School 

May 29 2024

5 Strategies for Keeping Students Engaged in Online Learning 

May 21 2024

How Parents Can Prevent Isolation and Loneliness During Summer Break

May 14 2024

The Ultimate Guide to Gift Ideas for Teachers 

How to Thank a Teacher: Heartfelt Gestures They Won’t Forget   

Six Ways Online Schools Can Support Military Families

7 Things Teachers Should Know About Your Child 

April 30 2024

Countdown to Graduation: How to Prepare for the Big Day 

April 23 2024

How am I Going to Pay for College?

April 16 2024

5 Major Benefits of Summer School 

April 12 2024

Inspiring an Appreciation for Poetry in Kids 

April 9 2024

A Parent’s Guide to Tough Conversations

April 2 2024

The Importance of Reading to Children and Its Enhancements to Their Development

March 26 2024

5 Steps to Master College-Level Reading

March 19 2024

10 Timeless Stories to Inspire Your Reader: Elementary, Middle, and High Schoolers

March 15 2024

From Books to Tech: Why Libraries Are Still Important in the Digital Age

March 13 2024

The Evolution of Learning: How Education is Transforming for Future Generations

March 11 2024

The Ultimate Guide to Reading Month: 4 Top Reading Activities for Kids

March 1 2024

Make Learning Fun: The 10 Best Educational YouTube Channels for Kids

February 27 2024

The Value of Soft Skills for Students in the Age of AI

February 20 2024

Why Arts Education is Important in School

February 14 2024

30 Questions to Ask at Your Next Parent-Teacher Conference

February 6 2024

Smart Classrooms, Smart Kids: How AI is Changing Education

January 31 2024

Four Life Skills to Teach Teenagers for Strong Resumes

January 25 2024

Exploring the Social Side of Online School: Fun Activities and Social Opportunities Await

January 9 2024

Is Your Child Ready for Advanced Learning? Discover Your Options.

January 8 2024

Online School Reviews: What People Are Saying About Online School

January 5 2024

Your Ultimate Guide to Holiday Fun and Activities

December 18 2023

Free Printable Holiday Coloring Pages to Inspire Your Child’s Inner Artist

December 12 2023

Five Reasons to Switch Schools Midyear

December 5 2023

A Parent’s Guide to Switching Schools Midyear

November 29 2023

Building Strong Study Habits: Back-to-School Edition

November 17 2023

Turn Up the Music: The Benefits of Music in Classrooms

November 7 2023

A Parent’s Guide to Robotics for Kids

November 6 2023

Six Ways Online Learning Transforms the Academic Journey

October 31 2023

How to Get Ahead of Cyberbullying

October 30 2023

Bullying’s Effect on Students and How to Help 

October 25 2023

Can You Spot the Warning Signs of Bullying?

October 16 2023

Could the Online Classroom Be the Solution to Bullying?

October 11 2023

Bullying Prevention Starts With Parents

October 9 2023

Do Kids Get Too Much Homework?

January 9 2017

Is Year-Round School Better for Kids?

July 12 2016

Why Most Attempts at Traditional School Reform Fail

April 23 2015

Join our community

Sign up to participate in America’s premier community focused on helping students reach their full potential.

Welcome! Join Learning Liftoff to participate in America’s premier community focused on helping students reach their full potential.

Whether you study at school, college, or university, it’s more likely you have to do your homework after classes. Most teachers believe that out-of-class studies help kids get a deeper understanding of the subject, turn theoretical knowledge into practical skills, and improve academic achievement.

However, most children are overwhelmed with the number of homework projects they have to complete. Once school students get too much homework , they turn to their parents to ask for help with their studies: Whether they need to complete school assignments, college projects , or university coursework. Why? Not only do parents know the material better than their kids, but they also help to manage time wisely which means working on homework faster without sacrificing the quality.

But a logical question appears: Should parents help with homework ?

Image Source

The question is controversial: Although some researchers believe that parents should gradually reduce homework help as their children grow older, other people claim that parental involvement cultivates positive learning behaviors.

First, we’ll discuss what role a parent plays in the kids’ education. Next, let’s find out the pros and cons of helping youngsters with homework.

The Role of Parents in the Educational Process

It’s in parents’ nature to feel responsibility for their kids’ academic performance. More often than not, they want to take part in their children’s education , engage in learning, and help their kids prepare for learning and set priorities.

Researchers have found that parental involvement in learning has many benefits for children : When parents help their school students with studies, it helps to improve student performance, reduce absenteeism, get higher grades and test scores, and improve social skills.

For a variety of reasons, parental involvement has many benefits for family relationships if a parent avoids trying to control the process and completes homework assignments for kids. Thus, it’s important to find out the pros and cons of this involvement.

Let’s dive in.

The Pros and Cons of Parental Involvement in Homework Preparation

• Help to understand the material better: Most students seek out homework assistance at school if they lack knowledge or don’t understand the task and/or the material even if they study well at school. In most cases, it’s difficult for children to understand the principles of calculus so they ask parents for help. Since parents have more experience and knowledge, they can find alternative ways to explain the subject to their kids.
• Improve parent-child relationships: When parents and kids spend time together on doing kids’ homework, it helps them turn quantity time into quality time which means they can improve parent-child relationships.
• Stay organized and beat procrastination: Most parents are more focused and organized and they know how to set priorities, so their assistance helps children manage their time and work on assignments faster. Plus, being organized helps students spend time with friends or enjoy their hobbies.
• Cultivate positive learning behaviors: When parents help their kids and gradually reduce homework help when their children get older, it helps school students follow an example their parents give and stick to positive learning behaviors. Plus, children stop bothering about the homework ban .
• Motivate children for education: It’s no secret that parents have their tips and tricks on motivating kids for education that work well for their offspring. Some parents promise their kids to allow them to spend time with friends while other moms and dads give expensive gifts. No matter what motivates your kid , if your child is interested in the learning process, it’s more likely he or she will keep on studying even if you stop motivating them.
• Add stress by parental expectations: If children ask a highly educated parent for homework assistance after school, it’s no wonder that these moms and dads have high expectations to children even if they have to deal with biostatistics homework . Thus, they expect their kids to complete assignments faster without losing the quality. But if kids can’t meet their parents expectations, it leads to additional stress, anxiety, and headaches.
• Lead to misunderstanding between a parent and a kid: Although involved parents are aimed at helping their kids improve academic performance, adults and kids may have different attitudes toward the learning process. For example, some parents may believe that children should study and complete their philosophy assignments after classes while their kids need to relax after in-class activities so they want to do their homework later in the evening. All in all, it can lead to misunderstanding between them and family.
• Discourage independent learning and self-management: When parents put much effort into helping children with homework assignments and they control the process from A to Z, it discourage children to stay responsible for their homework routine. Why? They know that parents will remind them about the workload and help them complete their tasks on a good level. All in all, it discourages independent learning and self-management.
• Result in lower test scores: It’s no wonder that most parents want to raise their kids smart and successful, so it can lead to the temptation to complete assignments for their kids when it comes to helping children with homework. As a result, children get high grades for out-of-class activities, but they can’t set priorities and implement these skills during tests.

The Bottom Line

If you still wonder whether should parents help with homework or not, you’d better pay attention to your child’s individual learning needs and his or her academic performance.

Plus, it’s a good idea to consult teachers and other school staff on how to make the most out of your homework engagement so that your children can improve academic performance, achieve better results, and obtain in-depth knowledge.

Too much help with homework can hinder your child’s learning progress

Clinical psychologist; visiting fellow, Queensland University of Technology

Disclosure statement

Judith Locke does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

Queensland University of Technology provides funding as a member of The Conversation AU.

View all partners

Parents are often guilty of helping their child a bit too much with their homework. Sometimes the homework battle can be made that little bit easier if you just tell your child what to do, or simply do it for them . At least it’s been done, you think.

Teachers have spoken of parents writing their children’s assignments, taking on the homework responsibility and emailing teachers out of hours , or, as in one case, turning up at a teacher’s home on the weekend to ask about the homework that was set.

But research shows that giving your child too much help could actually hinder their skills development and lead them to feel incompetent .

Help with homework can be filled with tension or create pressure to succeed for the child.

That’s not to say that parents shouldn’t get involved, as research shows this is an important factor in academic success. But parents need to know when it’s appropriate to do this, and when to step back.

Helicopter parenting

Overparenting has been described as delivering appropriate parenting characteristics to a degree where they cease to be beneficial . This approach can result in anxiety , narcissism , poor resilience and an external locus of control in children.

When parents assume responsibility for making their child always happy and successful, they discourage their child from developing age-appropriate autonomy and encourage the child to expect other adults to protect them from facing any challenge.

One study showed children over the age of nine viewed parental help or monitoring of their homework as a sign of their incompetence. It might be useful to offer this kind of support when a child is younger, but parents need to adjust their approach to homework as the child gets older and help only if specifically requested.

For adolescents, parental help with homework has been posited to be developmentally inappropriate . The child should be self-managing their workload, so this kind of help can limit the adolescent’s development of autonomy and sense of responsibility for their schoolwork, leading to poorer homework performance .

By year 12, parents should step back completely. If they don’t, students can rely on the adults in their lives to take a high level of responsibility for them completing their academic work, which may reduce their motivation in school work.

A recent study of parents from Catholic and independent schools found those who endorse overparenting beliefs tend to take more responsibility for their child doing their homework and also expect their child’s teachers to take more responsibility for it, particularly in the middle and senior school years.

This research may explain why some parents continue to be highly involved in their child’s university work and not grant their child autonomy over their own decisions . These parental actions have been associated with higher rates of depression and reduced life satisfaction among university students

Here’s how to provide the appropriate level of support.

Tips for parents

Show an interest in your child’s schooling but avoid being more interested in their schoolwork than they are – or it risks making it “your thing” and not “their thing”.

Set rules about homework (when and where it should be done), particularly in their younger years.

Try not to offer your help before they ask; let them ask you. This will boost their confidence in completing schoolwork without constant adult help.

Make sure you are coaching and not doing. Don’t fix every mistake or act as an editor. Get older children to ask you specific questions only, like, for example: “Is my conclusion clear?”

In junior school, get homework done before fun things. Then prompt rather than remind them, eg: “What needs to be done before you watch TV?”

Every year, reassess what you do for your child and whether your actions stop them developing important skills, such as responsibility and autonomy. For example, you should start to withdraw your reminders for homework early in their schooling, including gentle reminders such as, “Do you have much homework?”

With this must come the child accepting responsibility for homework and teacher-delivered consequences should they forget to do homework or to bring it to school. Remember these remain a reflection of your child’s current organisation and motivation, not your parenting.

Finally, remember a golden rule – your actions as a parent should not be primarily about making them successful now, but about building the life skills that will enable them to be successful in the future without your help.

• skills development

PhD Scholarship

Senior Lecturer, HRM or People Analytics

Senior Research Fellow - Neuromuscular Disorders and Gait Analysis

Centre Director, Transformative Media Technologies

Postdoctoral Research Fellowship

Don't Help Your Kids With Their Homework

And other insights from a ground-breaking study of how parents impact children’s academic achievement

One of the central tenets of raising kids in America is that parents should be actively involved in their children’s education: meeting with teachers, volunteering at school, helping with homework, and doing a hundred other things that few working parents have time for. These obligations are so baked into American values that few parents stop to ask whether they’re worth the effort.

Until this January, few researchers did, either. In the largest-ever study of how parental involvement affects academic achievement, Keith Robinson, a sociology professor at the University of Texas at Austin, and Angel L. Harris, a sociology professor at Duke, mostly found that it doesn’t. The researchers combed through nearly three decades’ worth of longitudinal surveys of American parents and tracked 63 different measures of parental participation in kids’ academic lives, from helping them with homework, to talking with them about college plans, to volunteering at their schools. In an attempt to show whether the kids of more-involved parents improved over time, the researchers indexed these measures to children’s academic performance, including test scores in reading and math.

What they found surprised them. Most measurable forms of parental involvement seem to yield few academic dividends for kids, or even to backfire—regardless of a parent’s race, class, or level of education.

Do you review your daughter’s homework every night? Robinson and Harris’s data, published in The Broken Compass: Parental Involvement With Children’s Education , show that this won’t help her score higher on standardized tests. Once kids enter middle school, parental help with homework can actually bring test scores down, an effect Robinson says could be caused by the fact that many parents may have forgotten, or never truly understood, the material their children learn in school.

Similarly, students whose parents frequently meet with teachers and principals don’t seem to improve faster than academically comparable peers whose parents are less present at school. Other essentially useless parenting interventions: observing a kid’s class; helping a teenager choose high-school courses; and, especially, disciplinary measures such as punishing kids for getting bad grades or instituting strict rules about when and how homework gets done. This kind of meddling could leave children more anxious than enthusiastic about school, Robinson speculates. “Ask them ‘Do you want to see me volunteering more? Going to school social functions? Is it helpful if I help you with homework?’ ” he told me. “We think about informing parents and schools what they need to do, but too often we leave the child out of the conversation.”

One of the reasons parental involvement in schools has become dogma is that the government actively incentivizes it. Since the late 1960s, the federal government has spent hundreds of millions of dollars on programs that seek to engage parents—especially low-income parents—with their children’s schools. In 2001, No Child Left Behind required schools to establish parent committees and communicate with parents in their native languages. The theory was that more active and invested mothers and fathers could help close the test-score gap between middle-class and poor students. Yet until the new study, nobody had used the available data to test the assumption that close relationships between parents and schools improve student achievement.

While Robinson and Harris largely disproved that assumption, they did find a handful of habits that make a difference, such as reading aloud to young kids (fewer than half of whom are read to daily) and talking with teenagers about college plans. But these interventions don’t take place at school or in the presence of teachers, where policy makers exert the most influence—they take place at home.

What’s more, although conventional wisdom holds that poor children do badly in school because their parents don’t care about education, the opposite is true. Across race, class, and education level, the vast majority of American parents report that they speak with their kids about the importance of good grades and hope that they will attend college. Asian American kids may perform inordinately well on tests, for example, but their parents are not much more involved at school than Hispanic parents are—not surprising, given that both groups experience language barriers. So why are some parents more effective at helping their children translate these shared values into achievement?

Robinson and Harris posit that greater financial and educational resources allow some parents to embed their children in neighborhoods and social settings in which they meet many college-educated adults with interesting careers. Upper-middle-class kids aren’t just told a good education will help them succeed in life. They are surrounded by family and friends who work as doctors, lawyers, and engineers and who reminisce about their college years around the dinner table. Asian parents are an interesting exception; even when they are poor and unable to provide these types of social settings, they seem to be able to communicate the value and appeal of education in a similarly effective manner.

As part of his research, Robinson conducted informal focus groups with his undergraduate statistics students at the University of Texas, asking them about how their parents contributed to their achievements. He found that most had few or no memories of their parents pushing or prodding them or getting involved at school in formal ways. Instead, students described mothers and fathers who set high expectations and then stepped back. “These kids made it!,” Robinson told me. “You’d expect they’d have the type of parental involvement we’re promoting at the national level. But they hardly had any of that. It really blew me away.”

Robinson and Harris’s findings add to what we know from previous research by the sociologist Annette Lareau, who observed conversations in homes between parents and kids during the 1990s. Lareau found that in poor and working-class households, children were urged to stay quiet and show deference to adult authority figures such as teachers. In middle-class households, kids learned to ask critical questions and to advocate for themselves—behaviors that served them well in the classroom.

Robinson and Harris chose not to address a few potentially powerful types of parental involvement, from hiring tutors or therapists for kids who are struggling, to opening college savings accounts. And there’s the fact that, regardless of socioeconomic status, some parents go to great lengths to seek out effective schools for their children, while others accept the status quo at the school around the corner.

Although Robinson and Harris didn’t look at school choice, they did find that one of the few ways parents can improve their kids’ academic performance—by as much as eight points on a reading or math test—is by getting them placed in the classroom of a teacher with a good reputation. This is one example for which race did seem to matter: white parents are at least twice as likely as black and Latino parents to request a specific teacher. Given that the best teachers have been shown to raise students’ lifetime earnings and to decrease the likelihood of teen pregnancy, this is no small intervention.

All in all, these findings should relieve anxious parents struggling to make time to volunteer at the PTA bake sale. But valuing parental involvement via test scores alone misses one of the ways in which parents most impact schools. Pesky parents are often effective, especially in public schools, at securing better textbooks, new playgrounds, and all the “extras” that make an educational community come to life, like art, music, theater, and after-school clubs. This kind of parental engagement may not directly affect test scores, but it can make school a more positive place for all kids, regardless of what their parents do or don’t do at home. Getting involved in your children’s schools is not just a way to give them a leg up—it could also be good citizenship.

Cue the fireworks! These early Fourth of July deals are worth shopping — starting at $4

• Share this —

• Watch Full Episodes
• Read With Jenna
• Inspirational
• Relationships
• TODAY Table
• Newsletters
• Start TODAY
• Shop TODAY Awards
• Citi Concert Series
• Listen All Day

Follow today

More Brands

• On The Show
• TODAY Plaza

Why you shouldn't help your kids with their homework

It may feel tempting – proper even – to help your child with homework, but parents who get involved this way don’t improve their kids’ test scores or grades, and can hurt their academic achievement, two researchers have found.

“We need to do away with the assumption that anything parents do will help. That assumes that parents have all the answers, and parents do not have all the answers,” Angel L. Harris, one of the scholars, told TODAY Moms.

“Some of the things that they do may actually lead to declines in achievement – inadvertently, of course.”

More From Today: Should Kids Wear School Uniforms?

Harris, a professor of sociology and African and African-American studies at Duke, and Keith Robinson, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Texas, Austin, are the authors of the book “The Broken Compass: Parental Involvement With Children’s Education.”

They analyzed surveys of American families released in the last three decades by the U.S. Department of Education – surveys that followed the same families over time and collected information such as kids’ achievements, behaviors and their parents’ behaviors.

“We found that when parents from various racial, ethnic and socioeconomic groups regularly helped their child with homework, in most cases, it made no difference for the child’s improvement in their test scores in reading, math, and their grades,” Robinson said.

“Regular help with homework… even compromised achievement in grades for white, black and non-Mexican Hispanic children.”

Could the findings simply reflect the fact that kids struggling with school ask for more homework help, thus making it look as though children who get more help do worse? No, Harris said, because the researchers measured the change in achievement among all kids, including those who performed well in school. The effect of parental homework involvement was the same across the board.

Since the surveys only provided information about how often parents helped with homework , not how they helped, Harris and Robinson can only speculate about the “why” part of the results. The basic message to parents is that being involved will not always result in better grades, Robinson said.

“Parents tend to take the reins of how they’re going to help with homework without consulting the child,” Robinson noted. “So maybe parents could ask kids, ‘Is what I’m doing helping you?’”

"It makes you rethink the assumption that helpers know what they’re doing, that they know how to help," Harris added.

Vicki Davis , a high school teacher at Westwood Schools in Camilla, Ga., said families who are over-involved in their children’s homework can enable helplessness. She’s seen her share of parents doing the assignments for their kids, especially writing papers, or taking charge of high-stakes, big projects.

“As a teacher, you recognize a student’s work. It’s like seeing somebody’s face every day and then all of a sudden, their face looks different,” Davis said.

“I don’t think most parents meant to do it. They just kind of start taking over.”

Davis expects elementary school students to get help from parents because they’re still learning study skills, and she doesn’t mind if older students talk “big picture” with their families about a project. 

But in general, parents should limit their involvement to making sure kids are completing their homework, she advised.

She finds the students who do best in school have parents who hold them accountable and regularly look at their grades. The goal is to create independent, lifelong learners, she said.

Kerry Lyons, a mother of five in Irvington, N.Y., said the research findings are a “huge relief.” Lyons works full time, so when she gets home, her kids – three kindergartners, one second-grader and one fourth-grader – are usually done with homework.

She estimates she helps twice a week, and then sits down with each child during the weekend to discuss what they worked on.

“I beat myself up sometimes because I’m surrounded by parents who are so focused on their kids and so focused on helping them with their school work and helping them succeed, and I simply don’t have the hours in the day to do that,” Lyons, 42, said.

“You worry about setting them up for the best possible start… (but) they’re going to be OK and they might even be better off.”

If helping with homework isn’t a good way for parents to be involved, Harris and Robinson found three ways that do help kids do better in school: Requesting a particular teacher for your child; expecting him or her to go to college, and discussing school activities with your child.

Follow A. Pawlowski on Google+ and Twitter .

Top 1,000 baby girl names in the U.S.

170 riddles for kids that will keep them busy and entertained

These 122 astrology-inspired baby names are written in the stars

60 sweet baby quotes that will definitely make you smile

16 states have back-to-school sales tax holidays: Is yours one of them?

Clint Eastwood’s youngest daughter gets married and is expecting first child

I hid my postpartum depression ... until a friend got me to find help

Is it OK to use the same baby name as a friend? Hoda and Jenna discuss

Bride releases butterflies in honor of her late father. But they didn’t fly away

82 grandma names and nicknames for the grandmother in your life

share this!

August 29, 2019

Should parents help their kids with homework?

by Daniel Hamlin, The Conversation

Schools across the country encourage parents to help their children with homework.

Parents are listening. Helping with homework is one of the most common things that parents say they do to support their children's learning.

Many experts have found that helping with homework cultivates positive learning behaviors , reinforces class material and signals to children that their education is important. The federal Department of Education says that parents play an important role in their children's learning when they help with homework.

Yet parents often hear through the media that helping with homework may not be worth it. After seeing headlines such as " Why It's So Important You Never Help Your Kids With Their Homework " and " Don't Help Your Kids With Their Homework ," moms, dads and other caregivers can be left wondering whether they should even bother.

I'm a professor of education policy. Together with sociologist Angran Li , I set out to make sense of this conflicting guidance.

Cause or consequence?

The basis for claims that parental help with homework can be bad for students comes from research examining national surveys . These studies find that frequent homework help from parents is associated with lower test scores .

But this finding does not necessarily mean that moms and dads do harm when they help with homework. When children are struggling in school, parents may step in to help more often. That is, frequent homework help from parents might not be the cause of problems, but rather, coincide with them.

My colleague and I wanted to see if this was the case.

To find out, we studied data from an important nationally representative survey administered by the federal government —the Early Childhood Longitudinal Study . We found that low-achieving children were far more likely to receive frequent homework from parents.

And importantly, after we factored in children's achievement levels, help with homework from parents was no longer associated with lower test scores.

Other considerations

While this finding was insightful, we figured that the effect of homework help from parents on student achievement might also be influenced by many other characteristics.

So we used a statistical technique that would account for many overlapping factors, such as how well parents and their children get along, the number of siblings, and behavior at school.

Our results also indicated that children with low test scores benefited the most when their parents frequently helped with homework.

In other words, calls for all parents to stop helping with homework could end up hurting some children.

In addition, one common concern is that only affluent and highly educated parents have the time and resources to help their children with homework regularly. We find little evidence to support this presumption. On national surveys , low-income and minority families report helping their children with homework frequently. And this was also true in our study.

Quality counts

It is important to point out that our study looked at the frequency of homework help from parents. However, evidence suggests that the quality of homework help also matters. Parents can make a difference through warm encouragement and a positive outlook and by communicating high expectations to children.

The effectiveness of homework help also seems to increase when parents foster independent learning behaviors . When helping with homework, parents should avoid trying to control the process and should also resist the temptation to complete assignments for their kids . Instead, they should let their children figure out answers on their own while offering helpful hints and positive feedback as needed.

Although parents should always consider their child's individual learning needs, researchers say that parents should gradually reduce homework help as their children grow older, probably phasing out direct assistance with homework by the time their children reach high school. Parents can also seek advice from teachers and other school staff on how to make homework support engaging and attuned to their child's learning needs.

Blanket statements about whether homework help is simply good or bad can be misleading. Under the right circumstances, parents can help their kids learn more when they help with homework.

Provided by The Conversation

Explore further

Feedback to editors

The beginnings of fashion: Paleolithic eyed needles and the evolution of dress

5 hours ago

Analysis of NASA InSight data suggests Mars hit by meteoroids more often than thought

New computational microscopy technique provides more direct route to crisp images

6 hours ago

A harmless asteroid will whiz past Earth Saturday. Here's how to spot it

Tiny bright objects discovered at dawn of universe baffle scientists

7 hours ago

New method for generating monochromatic light in storage rings

Soft, stretchy electrode simulates touch sensations using electrical signals

8 hours ago

Updating the textbook on polarization in gallium nitride to optimize wide bandgap semiconductors

Investigating newly discovered hydrothermal vents at depths of 3,000 meters off Svalbard

Researchers develop technology to mass produce quantum dot lasers for optical communications

10 hours ago

Relevant PhysicsForums posts

How is physics taught without calculus.

Jun 25, 2024

Is "College Algebra" really just high school "Algebra II"?

Jun 16, 2024

UK School Physics Exam from 1967

May 27, 2024

Physics education is 60 years out of date

May 16, 2024

Plagiarism & ChatGPT: Is Cheating with AI the New Normal?

May 13, 2024

Physics Instructor Minimum Education to Teach Community College

May 11, 2024

More from STEM Educators and Teaching

Related Stories

Parents need an attitude adjustment to improve their children's homework motivation.

Aug 31, 2011

Type of maternal homework assistance affects child's persistence

May 9, 2018

Doing homework is associated with change in students' personality

Oct 6, 2017

Homing in on homework help

Oct 10, 2017

Sociologist upends notions about parental help with homework

Apr 12, 2018

Study: Contrary to popular belief, parents OK with kids' homework loads

Aug 20, 2009

Recommended for you

Early childhood problems linked to persistent school absenteeism

Jun 26, 2024

AI-generated exam submissions evade detection at UK university

AI predicts upper secondary education dropout as early as the end of primary school

Study reveals complex dynamics of philanthropic funding for US science

Jun 10, 2024

First-generation medical students face unique challenges and need more targeted support, say researchers

Investigation reveals varied impact of preschool programs on long-term school success

May 2, 2024

Let us know if there is a problem with our content

Use this form if you have come across a typo, inaccuracy or would like to send an edit request for the content on this page. For general inquiries, please use our contact form . For general feedback, use the public comments section below (please adhere to guidelines ).

Please select the most appropriate category to facilitate processing of your request

Thank you for taking time to provide your feedback to the editors.

Your feedback is important to us. However, we do not guarantee individual replies due to the high volume of messages.

E-mail the story

Your email address is used only to let the recipient know who sent the email. Neither your address nor the recipient's address will be used for any other purpose. The information you enter will appear in your e-mail message and is not retained by Phys.org in any form.

Newsletter sign up

Get weekly and/or daily updates delivered to your inbox. You can unsubscribe at any time and we'll never share your details to third parties.

More information Privacy policy

Donate and enjoy an ad-free experience

We keep our content available to everyone. Consider supporting Science X's mission by getting a premium account.

E-mail newsletter

• Skip to Navigation
• Skip to Main Content
• Skip to Related Content
• Today's news
• Reviews and deals
• Climate change
• 2024 election
• Fall allergies
• Health news
• Mental health
• Sexual health
• Family health
• So mini ways
• Unapologetically
• Buying guides

Entertainment

• How to Watch
• My watchlist
• Stock market
• Biden economy
• Personal finance
• Stocks: most active
• Stocks: gainers
• Stocks: losers
• Trending tickers
• World indices
• US Treasury bonds
• Top mutual funds
• Highest open interest
• Highest implied volatility
• Currency converter
• Basic materials
• Communication services
• Consumer cyclical
• Consumer defensive
• Financial services
• Industrials
• Real estate
• Mutual funds
• Credit cards
• Balance transfer cards
• Cash back cards
• Rewards cards
• Travel cards
• Online checking
• High-yield savings
• Money market
• Home equity loan
• Personal loans
• Student loans
• Options pit
• Fantasy football
• Pro Pick 'Em
• College Pick 'Em
• Fantasy baseball
• Fantasy hockey
• Fantasy basketball
• Download the app
• Daily fantasy
• Scores and schedules
• GameChannel
• World Baseball Classic
• Premier League
• CONCACAF League
• Champions League
• Motorsports
• Horse racing
• Newsletters

New on Yahoo

• Privacy Dashboard

• Yahoo Sports AM
• College Sports
• Fantasy Sports
• Horse Racing
• Scores/Schedule
• Playoff and Bowl Games
• Reactions to the Bronny pick
• Back-to-back holes-in-one? Yep.
• NBA free agency primer
• USMNT stunned by Panama
• NBA Draft grades for all 30 teams

Why Nick Saban turned to Lane Kiffin for his ESPN homework

Nick Saban needed help with his homework, so he called Lane Kiffin .

In preparation for his ESPN analyst role on “ College GameDay ,” Saban spoke with Kiffin for about 45 minutes last week. Chief among the discussion topics, Saban wanted to polish his knowledge on Kiffin’s Ole Miss Rebels.

“He was calling to break down the team,” Kiffin told me during our wide-ranging interview last week . “He wanted to know stuff for the season, because he’s attacking his new job.”

Saban, along with his ESPN duties, retains an office at Alabama as an athletic department employee.

Careful, Lane, he’s a mole!

But, really, this was a conversation among former colleagues. And, anyway, Alabama and Ole Miss aren’t scheduled to play each other – at least not during the regular season.

While Kiffin had the GOAT on the phone, he asked his former boss for advice on managing expectations like those Ole Miss will face this season.

TORTURED POET: How Lane Kiffin's rebirth follows Taylor Swift song

Nick Saban's advice for Lane Kiffin and Ole Miss football

Kiffin has the Rebels performing at their highest level since the early 1960s. Ole Miss profiles as a contender for the inaugural 12-team College Football Playoff.

Saban knows all about navigating lofty expectations. He reminded Kiffin about the perils of "rat poison." That’s the phrase Saban coined for when media pump a team full of sweet nothings and flatter players with praise and hype.

Saban also told Kiffin the mountain parable. It goes like this:

A team fights to climb to the top of the mountain. Once it reaches the summit, it becomes the mountain, and every opponent tries to conquer you.

“I’m not saying we’re there yet,” Kiffin said. “I’m just saying, that’s what he said, his advice.”

LOOKING AHEAD: Our too-early college football Top 25 after spring practice

RE-RANK: After spring practice, every college football teams ranked from 1-134

Did Lane Kiffin predict Nick Saban's retirement?

Before Ole Miss played Alabama last season, Kiffin dropped a few hints suggesting that it would be his final time facing Saban.

Saban hadn’t announced any retirement plans. Did Kiffin possess inside intel? No, Kiffin says, just an ability to read the room and the knowledge that Alabama wasn’t on Ole Miss’ 2024 schedule. He put two and two together.

“Listening to him in press conferences, … his frustration of the direction of college football and NIL and how that affects locker rooms and everyone wanting to transfer twice a year and all of that, that really bothered him, I felt,” Kiffin said, “and so I just kind of felt like this might be it – and certainly might be it within two years, because they weren’t on the schedule the following year.”

[ This column originally published in our SEC Unfiltered newsletter . The newsletter is free and delivered to your inbox. To sign up for the newsletter, click here . ]

Saban retired in January. He finished with a 5-0 record against Kiffin. Alabama beat Ole Miss 24-10 last September in their final meeting. That loss seemed to really eat at Kiffin in the moment – he even apologized to his athletic director, Keith Carter, after the game – but he says he’s moved past it.

“I try to adopt radical acceptance in all areas of my life now,” Kiffin said.

Did Kiffin want to be Saban's successor? In answer to that, Kiffin referenced some advice his dad, former coach Monte Kiffin, gave him years ago about the perils of replacing legends. Kiffin ignored that advice at Tennessee and Southern Cal, where he succeeded Phillip Fulmer and Pete Carroll, respectively.

The way Kiffin sees it, no act will be tougher to follow than Saban.

“I think (replacing Saban) and taking over for Coach K would be the two ones that pop to my mind of hardest things to do,” Kiffin said, “because you’re always going to be compared to that.”

Kiffin maintains that Ole Miss doesn’t directly benefit from Saban’s retirement, in light of the SEC expanding to 16 teams and eliminating divisions. The Rebels aren’t scheduled to play Alabama in either 2024 or ’25.

Kiffin does, though, suspect someone is awfully happy about Saban’s transition from the sideline to ESPN.

“I think that Kirby Smart had a really big party that day that he retired,” Kiffin said. “That’s just my opinion.”

Blake Toppmeyer  is the USA TODAY Network's SEC Columnist. Email him at  [email protected]  and follow him on Twitter  @btoppmeyer .

This article originally appeared on The Tuscaloosa News: Lane Kiffin helped Nick Saban with ESPN homework for College GameDay

• Corrections
• Campaign 2024
• Putin's war in Ukraine
• Business & Economy
• Media Spotlight
• Waste, Fraud & Abuse
• Inside the Beltway
• Inside the Ring
• Higher Ground
• Entertainment
• Just the Headlines
• Photo Galleries
• Dive Deeper
• 40 years of The Washington Times
• Threat Status
• Energy & Environment
• Banking & Finance
• Health Care Reform
• Second Amendment
• Immigration Reform
• Homeland & Cybersecurity
• Aerospace & Defense
• Taxes & Budget
• Law Enforcement & Intelligence
• Transportation & Infrastructure
• Commentary Main
• Charles Hurt
• Cheryl K. Chumley
• Kelly Sadler
• Jennifer Harper
• Tim Constantine
• Joseph Curl
• Joseph R. DeTrani
• Billy Hallowell
• Daniel N. Hoffman
• David Keene
• Robert Knight
• Clifford D. May
• Michael McKenna
• Stephen Moore
• Tim Murtaugh
• Peter Navarro
• Everett Piper
• Scott Walker
• Black Voices
• To the Republic
• Sports Main
• Washington Commanders
• Thom Loverro
• Horse Racing
• NASCAR & Racing
• District of Sports Podcast
• Sports Photos
• Health Care on the Hill
• Invest in Portugal
• Health Care 2022
• Africa FDI Edition
• Immigration 2022
• Future of Clean Energy
• The Baltic States 2022
• Invest in Ireland
• ESG Investments
• U.S. & South Korea Alliance
• Transportation 2023
• Invest in Malta
• National Clean Energy Week
• Victorious Family
• Energy 2024
• Infrastructure 2024
• Free Iran 2024
• Reinventing after Globalization
• The Chiefs Forum: The Next 100 Days
• Harm Reduction and Public Health
• Subscriber Only Events
• Higher Ground Events
• All Podcasts
• The Front Page
• Politically Unstable
• History As It Happens
• Bold & Blunt
• The Higher Ground
• Court Watch
• Victory Over Communism
• District of Sports
• Capitol Hill Show
• The Unregulated Podcast
• The Rebellion Podcast
• Play Sudoku
• Crossword Puzzle
• Word Search

Countdown to 2024 with Susan Ferrechio, Seth McLaughlin and Kelly Sadler

WATCH: Republicans targeting D.C. traffic cameras Matt Delaney explains

New today: Is an Israel-Hezbollah war inevitable? The Threat Status podcast

LISTEN: What the Soviets really wanted Sergey Radchenko joins Martin Di Caro

Challenging conversation: help my child identifies as lgbtq, and i don’t know what to do.

“This is who I am, Mom. Why can’t you and Dad accept that I’m trans?” shouted a 17-year-old girl who now identifies as a young man.

What would you say if that were your son or daughter? Or perhaps this is a conversation you’ve had with one of your kids.

Subscribe to have  The Washington Times’ Higher Ground  delivered to your inbox every Sunday.

My heart truly goes out to anyone who has witnessed the pain of a child struggling with their sexual orientation or gender identity.

As parents guided by Christian values, we are called to embody God’s love and truth. But what does this call look like when faced with deeply personal and potentially divisive differences? How can you stand by your beliefs while unconditionally loving a child who identifies as LGBTQ?

In this article, you will discover practical wisdom for listening without passing judgment, communicating your convictions with gentleness, and, most importantly, demonstrating Christ’s love in every interaction with your LGBTQ-identified child.

Listen to Jason Jimenez as he tackles a different  Challenging Conversation  on his podcast each week:

As a pastor and family speaker, I’ve connected with countless parents and grandparents. They’ve opened up about the emotional rollercoaster they experienced while coming to terms with their child or grandchild’s identification as LGBTQ. Their stories were marked by profound sorrow, inner turmoil, and a genuine desire to understand their children better.

In challenging circumstances like these, I’ve found that there are three common directions or approaches that parents are faced with when their child comes out as LGBTQ: catering, caving, and embracing compassionate conviction.

When a child comes out as LGBTQ, some parents may feel the urge to CATER to (or accommodate) their child’s identity. They might think, “What’s wrong with being more accepting of their feelings or being open to the idea of LGBTQ? They’re young. They’ll outgrow it eventually. Maybe they will grow out of it if I don’t make it a big deal?”

The second tendency is for a parent to CAVE and give in to their son or daughter when they come out as LGBTQ. In this position, the parent thinks, “I am committed to maintaining a close and supportive relationship with my child. While I may find it difficult to discuss their sexual identity with them, I will work on being more inclusive and affirming of their identification as LGBTQ.”

While “catering to” and “caving in” may seem like effective approaches, they usually aren’t the best way to handle things. The biblical response does not involve conforming to or giving in by accepting your LGBTQ child. Instead, the biblical response is to demonstrate COMPASSIONATE CONVICTION for your child despite their identification as LGBTQ.

It is this approach that I plead with parents to take as they focus on showing love to their children and maintaining a connection with them. Even if you don’t fully understand or approve of your child being LGBTQ, prioritize providing support rather than trying to control your child. You express to them, “I love you no matter what and will always accept you as my child. However, as a follower of Jesus Christ, I believe that deviating from who God made you to be and what He has called you to do will only lead to more sin, sorrow, and pain in your life. I hope you won’t settle for that. I pray that you will turn to Jesus, and I want you to know that I will always be here for you.”

I just want to emphasize that not affirming your child as “LGBTQ” doesn’t equate to hating them or being LGBTQ-phobic. It’s important to understand that some people who affirm LGBTQ identities might say otherwise, but it’s crucial to know that you can still support and love your child regardless. For more information on how to respond to the “gay-revisionist” movement, I encourage you to check out a few of my other articles:

• ’Love is Love’? Three reasons to rethink the mantra
• Is it fair to say because Jesus didn’t mention homosexuality, he was for it?
• Challenging Conversations: Are people gay because God made them that way?

When prompted by the Holy Spirit, it’s essential to speak the truth rather than share it whenever you feel like it. When talking to your LGBTQ-identifying child, remember that truth-telling doesn’t mean giving a sermon or lecture. If they are not receptive to hearing what you have to say or how you feel, it’s best to say nothing (see Proverbs 10:19 ; 21:23 ).

Take it from a Christian mom who shares how to get out of God’s way and love your LGBTQ-identified child:

Our job is  not to remind them of their sin. God has called us to pray, love, and speak truth when necessary. How we share the truth and the intent of our heart in that sharing is just as important as the truth we want to share or the truth we feel they need to hear. Do you want to prove a point or win an argument? Take your words and heart before the Lord first and get His wisdom and insight. Just because truth can be spoken doesn’t mean it needs to come from our mouths every time. When you have the right heart and the Holy Spirit is prompting you to speak, don’t withhold the truth and let the truth do its job. There are indeed times when the truth needs to be spoken. But unless something new has come up, don’t continue to bring up their sin every time you are with them. But remember, your child is not a problem to fix but a person to love.

Seeing your son or daughter grapple with their identity can be challenging, but remember, God’s love for them is unwavering. The Bible tells us in Romans 8:38-39 that “neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

It’s not your responsibility as a parent to change or modify your child. That’s not your role. Instead, your duty is to guide your child toward Jesus. A parent’s love is important, but it cannot fix everything. Only Jesus can bring peace and forgiveness to the brokenness and confusion that a child may be experiencing about their sexuality or gender identity.

As you navigate this journey with your LGBTQ-identified child, remember not to let fear or embarrassment stop you from seeking help. Reach out to supportive communities and trust that as you strengthen your bond with your child, you will lead by example with Christ-like love.

Jason Jimenez is the founder and president of  Stand Strong Ministries  and is a respected Christian-worldview speaker, and faculty member at Summit Ministries. He is the best-selling author of “ Hijacking Jesus: How Progressive Christians Are Remaking Him and Taking Over the  Church ,” “ Challenging Conversations: A Practical Guide to Discuss Controversial Topics in the  Church ,” and “ Parenting Gen Z: Guiding Your Child through a Hostile Culture. ”

Copyright © 2024 The Washington Times, LLC. Click here for reprint permission .

Please read our comment policy before commenting.

Click to Read More and View Comments

Click to Hide

Top of the Times