funny closing lines for best man speech

Best Man Toasts, Wedding Speech Closing Lines

End your wedding speech with a bang.

Use these best man toasts to wrap up your wedding speech and deliver a mic-drop moment. Or take a sincere approach to your closing remarks and leave the wedding party touched by your thoughtfulness.

Any way you choose to approach your best man speech, we’ve got you covered!

Simple best man toasts and groomsmen’s toasts

1.) To the happy couple, Mr and Mrs [name]!

2.) Ladies and gentlemen, to the bride and groom!

3.) Now please join me in raising your glasses as we toast to the Bride and the Groom. I give you Mr. and Mrs. [name]!

4.) May you share all your dreams on the same pillow.

5.) May the rest of your lives be filled with magical moments.

6.) To my best friend and his beautiful bride: the new Mr and Mrs [name].

7.) May you both live as long as you want, And never want as long as you live.

8.) Please join me in raising a glass to the happy couple — to [bride] and [groom].

9.) I would like to wish you a lifetime of health, wealth, happiness and love. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s toast to the bride and groom.

10.) May you always be friends as well as lovers.

11.) Here’s is to a lifetime of love and happiness!

12.) When the husband drinks to the wife, all would be well; when the wife drinks to the husband, all is. – English proverb

Even more short wedding toasts.

Tactful best man toasts

13.) May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.

14.) I’d like you all to join me in wishing the happy couple all the wealth, health and happiness in the world. To the bride and groom!

15.) Let us all wish [bride] and [groom] years and years of happiness. May you be friends to each other only as lovers can, and may you love each other only as best friends can.

16.) May neighbors respect you, Trouble neglect you, The angels protect you, And heaven accept you.

17.) I’d like you all to join me in wishing the new Mr and Mrs [name] all the wealth, health and happiness in the world. To the bride and groom.

18.) What an honor it has been to serve as [groom’s] best man. And it’s even more of an honor to ask you all to join me in toasting the newlyweds. Cheers!

Get inspiration from these movie quotes for your wedding speech.

VIDEO: How to give a wedding toast in 6 easy steps

Sincere best man toasts.

19.) Here is a toast to a perfect couple — to a long life together filled with happiness, adventure and lots of wonderful memories.

20.) Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. – Franz Schubert

21.) For this is [bride] and [groom]’s time. And it’s time to raise your glass high in the air. To the bride and groom! We wish you a long and happy marriage.

22.) May you live as long as you like, And have all you like as long as you live.

23.) Congratulations on this big step in your lives. Let’s all raise our glasses and toast to the happy couple. May years of happiness and amazing memories await you!

Check out these Marriage Quotes and Sayings.

Useful best man toasts

24.) May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, The foresight to know where you are going, And the insight to know when you have gone too far.

25.) To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. – Mark Twain

26.) To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up. – Ogden Nash

27.) A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. – Mignon McLaughlin

28.) Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. – Barnett R. Brickner

29.) Always keep the lid down.

30.) A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The rest is trust. – Nanette Newman

31.) Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that. – Michael Leunig

32.) Never go to bed angry… always stay up and argue.

33.) Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without. – James C. Dobson

More popular toasts for any occasion.

Marriage advice toasts

34.) Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threaded, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last. – Simone Signoret

35.) Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly. – Rose Franken

36.) The best thing to hold onto in life is each other. – Audrey Hepburn

37.) The grand essentials of happiness are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. – Allan K. Chalmers

38.) The best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it once.

39.) Always remember the three little words…”You’re right dear.”

40.) The capacity to love is tied to being able to be awake, to being able to move out of yourself and be with someone else in a manner that is not about your desire to possess them, but to be with them, to be in union and communion. – Bell Hooks

41.) Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more. – Erica Jong

42.) Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. – Victor Borge

43.) In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes. – Elizabeth Ashley

115 Bridesmaid Toasts for Weddings

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Funny best man toasts.

For a best man speech ending in a joke, try these on for size:

44.) To the two things that make a great marriage — having a good sense of humor and selective hearing.

45.) Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener. – Pauline Thomason

46.) Today has been a very emotional day — even the cake is in tiers.

47.) This toast will be like a mini skirt: long enough to cover the essentials, but short enough to hold your attention.

48.) It’s not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She’s not marrying the best man.

49.) Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out. – Michel de Montaigne

50.) [Bride] and [groom], before I finish, I’d like you to turn to face each other. You’re now looking into the eyes of the person who is statistically most likely to murder you. To the bride and groom!

51.) It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. – Robert Frost

52.) By all means, marry if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates

53.) A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. – Brendan Francis

54.) Before we raise our glasses to the happy couple, I’d like to make a toast to wives and lovers everywhere — may they never, ever cross paths!

55.) The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets she took him. – Oscar Wilde

More funny wedding toasts and cheers.

Best man toasts for a brother

56.) To my very best friend and brother, and to his beautiful new wife, we salute you! Now let’s dance, drink and have a slice of cake!

57.) [Bride], I’ve never seen my brother happier and I know that’s because of you. May the Lord bless you with many, many happy years. Welcome to the family!

58.) To my brother and his new wife, may today be the beginning of a wonderful new and long-lasting chapter in your lives, and may you always love, honor and cherish each other, just as you do today.

59.) Apparently, as best man, I’m supposed to sing my brother’s praises and talk about his good qualities. Unfortunately, I can’t sing and I won’t lie.

60.) You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this day. My brother has finally admitted that I am in fact the best man.

61.) We all knew my brother had found the one when he started spending more time with [bride] than he did playing on his Xbox!

The best wedding toasts for raising a glass to the new couple.

Quotes to use for best man toasts

62.) There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage. – Martin Luther

63.) We love because it’s the only true adventure. – Nikki Giovanni

64.) Love, be true to her; Life, be dear to her; Health, stay close to her; Joy, draw near to her; Fortune, find what you can do for her, Search your treasure-house through and through for her, Follow her footsteps the wide world over, And keep her husband always her lover. – Anna Lewis

65.) Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner. – Amy Bloom

66.) There’s nothing more admirable than two people who see eye to eye keeping house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends. – Homer

67.) My greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least. – Anonymous

68.) The best marriages, like the best lives, were both happy and unhappy. There was even a kind of necessary tension, a certain tautness between the partners that gave the marriage strength, like the tautness of a full sail. – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Check out the top ten best wedding songs.

Love quotes

69.) Love is a fire that feeds our life. – Pablo Neruda

70.) It is written, when children find true love, parents find true joy. Here’s to your joy and ours from this day forward. – Unknown

71.) Where there is great love, there are always miracles. – Willa Cather

72.) Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. – 1 Corinthians 13:7

73.) To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage. – Lao Tzu

74.) The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. – John Green

75.) Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. – Maya Angelou

76.) But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. – Kahlil Gibran

77.) Insomuch as love grows in you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul. – Saint Augustine

78.) Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible — it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could. – Barbara De Angelis

Wedding blessings and wishes.

Love sayings

79.) There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. – George Sand

80.) Happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love, and the blossom when we love the one we married. – Sam Levenson

81.) When love reigns, the impossible may be attained. – Indian proverb

82.) You know you are in love when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes are everywhere in the world. – David Levesque

83.) There is no remedy for love but to love more. – Henry David Thoreau

84.) True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. – Anonymous

85.) We never live so intensely as when we love strongly. We never realize ourselves so vividly as when we are in full glow of love for others. – Walter Rauschenbusch

86.) Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination. – Voltaire

87.) Love is the sum of our choices, the strength of our commitments, the ties that bind us together. – Emily Giffin

88.) He who wants to do good, knocks at the gate: he who loves finds the door open. – Rabindranath Tagore

89.) One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. – Sophocles

90.) Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

91.) Where there is love there is life. – Mahatma Gandhi

Check out the best disco songs for weddings.

Romantic quotes

92.) Grow old with me. The best is yet to be — the last of life for which the first was made. – Robert Browning

93.) My heart is ever at your service. – William Shakespeare

94.) Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. – Emily Bronte

95.) You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because your reality is finally better than your dreams. – Dr. Seuss

96.) What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined…to strengthen each other…to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories. – George Eliot

97.) The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman’s heart. – Josiah G. Holland

98.) To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—this is a human offering that can border on miraculous. – Elizabeth Gilbert

99.) We are each other’s harvest, we are each other’s business, we are each other’s magnitude and bond. – Gwendolyn Brooks

100.) After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her. – Mark Twain

101.) There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day, knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps. – Ronald Reagan

Wrapping it all up

We hope this list has been useful in finding the right best man toasts for you to use at a wedding. Whether you choose a long or short speech, these lines will have you closing on a high note!

By Greg Johnson | Published 3/4/2020

You’re on the Best Man Toasts, Wedding Speech Closing Lines page.

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Greg Johnson is a website editor, writer, and content designer. For over 10 years, he has covered subjects like pop culture, music, sports, history, famous quotes, and kids jokes. He is co-founder and editor of ListCaboodle.

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66 Creative Toasts to End Your Best Man Speech

As the best man, you will have the duty of writing a speech for the newlyweds. During this time, you can keep it lighthearted and playful, or opt for something straightforward and simple.

No matter what, you will have to make sure that you honor the bride and groom, and wish them a happy future together. 

While you might have the best man’s speech down to a T , how do you end it with a toast? In this article we have put together 66 different ways to give your best man toast that you can adapt and change.

So, whether you are looking to make fun of the newlyweds, or want to keep it serious, here are 66 ways to raise a glass to the lucky couple. 

Toasts to the Happy Couple

Toasts to the groom, toasts to the bride, toasts to the future, funny best man toasts.

Here you will find a few examples to get your inspiration flowing.

Best Man Toasts for Brother

Sometimes your best man is your brother. Here are a few ideas to end that toast.

Toasts That Include a Quote 

Toasts to the bridal party, final thoughts.

Whether you choose a heartfelt, humorous, or nostalgic toast, the most important thing is that your words come from the heart and reflect the love and joy of the newlyweds’ union.

With these 66 creative and meaningful toasts, you’ll have the confidence and inspiration you need to deliver a memorable and unforgettable best man speech.

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Finishing On A High

What you say at the end can make all the difference in your toast's overall success

There is a growing tradition of ending Best Man's speeches with a piece of light-hearted or comical marriage advice or by making a comical marriage observation . For me, this is more suitable Father of the Bride material and should be avoided, particularly if you yourself are single. Marriage insights from a single best man don't carry much weight. It can be pulled off if the best man is married , but most Best Men, single or married, would be better sticking to other areas. Here are some to consider:

"There is an old wedding day tradition saying that the bride must wear something new, something old, something borrowed and something blue. To ensure that tradition is followed I would like to make a special presentation to Linda. It's old, borrowed and blue, and I figure Paul is new enough as her husband to cover the new. These should come in especially handy tonight when the newlyweds retire to their hotel room. Linda, here are some slightly used blue socks for you."

More »

"I have a telegram here for Paul from his Bank Manager, who sends his deepest apologies but he sadly can't be with you today… but will definitely be seeing you after the honeymoon."

"In a few short hours, Paul and Linda will be making their way to the airport for a wonderful two weeks in tropical paradise. But whilst they are sunbathing on sugar-white sand, or paddling in a bath-warm ocean, my advice to them is that a good honeymoon is far more like something much closer to home - a dining table with a roast chicken on it ... four bare legs and no drawers, with some breast, some leg, and plenty of stuffing."

"Later on tonight, when the music starts, you might get to see Paul's limbo dance. He learnt it trying to get into the paid toilets at Waterloo station."

There are plenty of other ways you can connect your closing words to the particulars of your occasion. For more examples click here .

Finally, as you lead into the champagne, it's time to offer your congratulations and well wishes to the happy couple, express your hopes for their marriage or sincerely sum up the occasion . Just one moment of heartfelt emotion will do. Consider your toast carefully as these will be the words you finish on.

"On behalf of the bride and groom, I would like to thank everyone here for sharing in this unique and special day, particularly those who have travelled long distances. I know that Paul and Linda will never forget it. But speaking personally, and perhaps slightly selfishly, I wish that you had all stayed at home because things would have been a lot easier on me."

"There is nothing more noble or admirable than watching two incredible people come together as one in the unity of marriage. As your friends and family, we delight in your marriage and offer our encouragement and support. Here is a toast to a long life filled with adventure, love, and cherished moments."

Follow the links throughout this guide for a host of relevant suggestions. And when your speech is ready, try to leave yourself enough time to learn it, or at least be familiar enough that you can give a smooth and comfortable read. Good luck and enjoy yourself. It's your big day too!

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The 50 Best Jokes For Your Best Man Speech

As the best man, you’re tasked with giving the toast—maybe the most famous one of the evening. For the big speech, it’s important to have some jokes scattered throughout. The couple gets to be sentimental. Her father gets to be sad and nostalgic. You need to bring the funny like it’s showtime at the Apollo. That’s no easy task, either. Luckily, there are dozens of jokes that have already been written that you can plug your buddy’s name into and carry on. We compiled some of our favorites for you here. Good luck!

Good evening everyone. I’m so happy to preside over the only five minutes that the bride didn’t plan. Of course, I’m only kidding. We went over the speech 40 minutes ago in the hall.

It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.

We’ve reached the moment in the evening where we get to watch the groom figet and worry in anticipation. Yes, everyone, I’ve been asked by the staff to give him the bill.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I just want to apologize for not being an experienced public speaker. I’m probably going to spend most of the time looking at this piece of paper in my hands. Oh, it’s not my notes – it’s a picture of the triple Jameson I’m going to down as soon as this is over.

I just heard there was a lucrative pool on the length of the Best Man’s speech. I put my money on 40 minutes, so settle in…

Before I begin my speech, there’s just one order of business I’ve been asked to take care of. *Hold up pair of trousers with padlock on them* These are Jack’s Chastity Pants. I know he’s given keys out to various ladies over the years, but since he is now a married man, he’d like to get those copies back, so Jill is the only one with access. *Wait for the keys you strategically handed out to wedding guests to be brought up*

My name is Peter and I am the Best Man. Many of you would beg to differ, but shut up – I know your secrets.

Just a couple of rules before we begin. If you have a mobile phone – leave it switched on, entertain yourselves. And if anyone texts you any good jokes, kindly pass them up to the front.”

I’ve been told I won’t get away with a few thank yous and a quick toast. Apparently, as Best Man, I’m supposed to sing the Groom’s praises and talk about his good qualities. Unfortunately, I can’t sing and I won’t lie.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt.  Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – Before I came here today one of my good friends gave me some advice on giving this speech. He said think of it like walking through a nudist camp, it’s only hard for the first minute.

Now he’s getting a bit older he’s turning his attention more and more to gadgets, constantly buying stuff from ebay, amazon and I want one of those dot com. I swear he didn’t have an interest in women until he overheard someone say the secret to women was knowing what buttons to press.

I read somewhere the perfect best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass to the happy couple!

Sally is a bright, charming, wonderful woman, who deserves a good husband. It’s such a shame Harry swooped in before she could find one.

I think the main reason we’ve lasted as friends all these years is because you’re geographically convenient…and you had a trampoline.

Jack is the kindest friend anyone could ask for; a man whose philanthropy knows no bounds. ‘Generosity’ should be his middle name. He would do anything for me; like helping write a section of the best man speech because you forgot about it until late last night at the bar!

Jack was in a pub when he proposed. No, really, it was actually very romantic – he got up on one knee.

It’s strange to be giving a speech like this one, because my parents always told me that if I had nothing good to say about someone, I should just be quiet.

Seeing the happy couple walking down the aisle earlier today, I’m sure we all agree that the bride looked simply stunning. The groom, on the other hand, simply looked stunned.

So I’m the best man, although I think I was picked by default since the groom doesn’t really have any other friends.

I can only say in my defense that Mike and I share a common sense of humor so if this speech is in anyway unfunny please “Feel Free to Blame Mike.”

I’d also like to congratulate Keith on a truly magnificent speech, I always knew it would be hard to follow, and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it.

John did tell me that the vicar was firmly against sex before marriage. However, Jane did assure him it would only take a couple of minutes.

Rest assured though, unlike most traditional best man speeches, which are full of sexual innuendo, I’ve promised Dan and Anne that if there is anything slightly risqué, I’ll whip it out immediately …”

Although Ria did actually tell me Paul has always brightened up her life. Well, she actually said he never turned the lights off but it amounts to the same thing pretty much.

I’ll try to keep my speech short, because every extra minute I speak is an extra minute’s delay in witnessing how the Groom’s dance lessons worked out.

I do have to say though how lucky you are Dave, you’re leaving with a beautiful wife whom you love. And you, Miranda, you get to go home with such a nice new dress and beautiful bouquet of flowers, it’s great.

Jill, you are an amazing woman who deserves a wonderful husband. And I promise you I won’t rest until I get to the bottom of what’s gone wrong here.

Being asked to be the best man is about five minutes of glowing pride, followed by an eternity of panic and misery. Linda, I expect you had a similar experience when Paul asked you to be his wife.

I spoke to both Sally and Paul before the Wedding and I asked Paul what he was looking for in Marriage – he said “Love, happiness and a long life together.” When I asked Sally the same question – she replied – A coffee percolator!

Speaking of Jane, I would like to say how beautiful she looks today in that fantastic dress …Dan likes it too, as he told me in the church it will blend in just nicely well with the rest of the kitchen.

Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions!”

When I saw Linda heading up the aisle with her father, I thought “At last she’s seen sense, and got herself a man with looks and money.”

Before proposing, Paul went to ask Linda’s father for her hand in marriage. He said that it was fine by him, providing Paul took the hand that had spent 20 years fishing into his wallet!

I recognize my place here; being best man at a wedding is like being the dead body at a funeral. You’re expected to be there, but if you say too much people start freaking out.

If you can’t hear me in the back, let the silence in the front assure you that you’re not really missing out on anything.

A Best Man is like a dog. You love him, care about him, and he’s only thrown up and ruined your upholstery twice.

I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to be Best Man at Jack and Jill’s wedding. Jack made me compete for this honor today, but I was able to beat Mark the Bartender over there in rock-paper-scissors, so here I am!

I found the speech length really difficult to settle on. At one point, it ran to almost 70 minutes, so I cut it down to a five-minute speech but I just felt like too many important things were being left out. So I came to a compromise – I’m going to read the five-minute speech. Then straight afterwards, I’ll do 70-minute one and you guys can tell me which speech I should use.

What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now rising to the top of his industry based solely on his intelligence, grit and willpower? A man whose charisma knows no bounds and who has already distinguished himself amongst his peers? Because I’m trying to write my Tinder profile and I’m having trouble summarizing myself.

When I sat down to write this speech I Googled “perfect best man speech”, but you had to pay to read the examples and I didn’t think it was worth it, so I’m gonna wing it.

I admit, I’m extremely nervous right now. As the people sitting near to me at the table can testify, it really is possible to smell fear.”

I must admit, I’m not used to speaking in public. Until now I thought a toastmaster was a kitchen appliance.

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

You know, it’s been said that being asked to be best man is like being asked to make love to Camilla Parker Bowles.. It’s a great honor but you don’t really want to do it!

I’ve been anxious about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately last night I slept like a baby. Waking up every two hours and bawling my eyes out. Ten minutes ago, I had to ask a complete stranger to burp me.

Dave was telling me that the amazing meal this evening was charged on a cost-per-head basis, so, on the bride and groom’s behalf, I’d like to thank the following people for not coming…

What’s the difference between in-laws and out-laws? Outlaws are wanted.”

Leading up to today John and Jane were having an issue with the seating plan. Who would sit comfortably in here & who would have to get up and stand during the speeches so we decided to use wedding present list, biggest presents at front and work it back from there. So hopefully you can hear me at the back when I say on behalf of Jane and John thank‐you very much for the teaspoons.

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52 Best Man Quotes That Are Funny And Sincere And Perfect For Your Toast

The best man is the most important person for the groom during the wedding, aside from the bride!

In a wedding, everything that is connected to the groom should be known by the best man. It is the best man who has to take care of nearly everything as the groom has got his hands full.

It is an important role to be a best man as it represents responsibility, so, be sure to be ready to take up all the responsibilities if you say yes.

If you don't want to take up such a big role, it is okay to say no to the groom when he asks you to be the best man for him.

Also, the best man has to give a speech and  read the messages from the people who could not attend the wedding but have sent their best wishes.

The scariest and the most fun part of the wedding is the speech. If you are a best friend, you can add up the incidents you both did as teens and get some good best man quotes to make the speech look good and funny.

You have to not talk only about the groom but also the bride. After all, it is going to be the bride and groom wedded to be a couple.

For your help, we have collected quotes for best man speeches where you can find funny best man quotes too, and also best man toasts quotes. If you like this, check out 50th wedding anniversary quotes or [Dwight Schrute quotes].

Best Best Man Quotes

Here you can find some of the best best man speech quotes.

1. "The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman’s heart."

- Timothy Titcomb, 'J. G. Holland.'

2. "What I say is that, if a man really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow."

- A.A. Milne, 'Winnie-The-Pooh.'

3. "My speech is going to be like a mini-skirt: long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to hold your attention."

- Anonymous.

4. "It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married."

- Robert Frost.

5. "Marriage is not just spiritual communion. It is also remembering to take out the trash."

- Joyce Brothers.

6. "Never go to bed on an argument. Stay up and fight."

- Phyllis Diller.

7. "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."

- Emily Bronte.

8. "Love one another and you will be happy; it is as simple and as difficult as that."

- Michael Leunig.

9. "Love does not consist of gazing at one another but looking outward in the same direction."

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

10. "To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage."

11. "May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future."

12. "A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him."

- Brendan Francis.

13. "There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion than a good marriage."

- Martin Luther.

Love Quotes For Best Man Speech

In this category, you will find best man toast quotes and also, best man speech ending quotes with some love quotes.

14. "Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly."

- Rose Franken.

15. "A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude."

- Rainer Maria Rilke.

16. "Here's to the groom, a man who keeps his head though he loses his heart."

17. "Before we raise our glasses to the happy couple, I’d like to make a toast to wives and lovers everywhere – may they never, ever cross paths!"

18. "There is only one happiness in life – to love and be loved."

- George Sand.

19. "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."

- Aristotle.

20. "It’s not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She’s not marrying the best man."

21. "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."

22. An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her."

- Agatha Christie.

23. "I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

- Rita Rudner.

24. "Love is the greatest refreshment in life."

- Pablo Picasso.

25. "My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."

- Socrates.

Best Most Interesting Man Quotes

Here, we have clubbed great best man quotes for a friend who wants to address bride and groom in the toast.

26. "We never live so intensely as when we love strongly. We never realize ourselves so vividly as when we are in the full glow of love for others."

- Walter Rauschenbusch.

27. "There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day, knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps."

- Ronald Reagan.

28. "It is written: When children find true love, parents find true joy."

29. "In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes."

- Elizabeth Ashley.

30. "Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel."

- Leonardo DaVinci.

31. "For one more time, I’m going to ask everyone to charge their glasses and – for those who still can – stand, and raise a glass to the newlyweds."

32. "It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass."

- Rodney Dangerfield.

33. "You know you are in love when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes everywhere in the world."

- David Levesque.

34. "Be presidents of each other's fan clubs."

- Tony Heath.

Good Quotes For Best Man Speech

Here, you will find the best man speech closing quotes for friends who want to be funny and give a good toast to the bride and groom at their wedding.

35. "Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome."

- Jerry Seinfeld.

36. "Love is being stupid together."

- Paul Valery.

37. "A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores."

- Terry Pratchett.

38. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."

- Mignon McLaughlin.

39. "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."

- Audrey Hepburn.

40. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are."

- Will Ferrell.

41. "To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with."

- Mark Twain.

42. "Love is blind — marriage is the eye-opener."

- Pauline Thomason.

43. "They say you don’t marry the person you can live with, you marry the person you can’t live without. That sums up these two perfectly. To the happy couple."

44. "One of the best things about love is just recognizing a man’s steps when he climbs the stairs."

Romantic Quotes For Best Man Speech

Read best man speeches quotes in this section. Also, find best man wedding quotes for the best friend who wants to show his friendship through the part of the toast for the wedding.

45. "I love you so much, and I really hope you'll feel the same about me after you hear my speech."

46. "The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes."

- Amy Grant.

47. "If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears."

- Sigmund Freud.

48. "Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out."

- Michelle de Montaigne.

49. "It doesn’t matter if the guy is perfect or the girl is perfect, as long as they are perfect for each other."

- Robin Williams, 'Good Will Hunting.'

50. "If I get married, I want to be very married."

51. "What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined…to strengthen each other…to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories."

- George Eliot.

52. "We are asleep until we fall in love!"

- Leo Tolstoy, 'War And Peace.'

Here at Kidadl , we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for best man quotes, then why not take a look at thank you wedding quotes, or Thelma And Louise quotes?

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More for you, 62 funny jokes and puns about lying, 51 secret santa quotes, 85 best shakespeare puns, jokes and one-liners.

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2) At Kidadl, we strive to recommend the very best activities and events. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so it’s important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate for all children and families or in all circumstances. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong.

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How to End a Best Man's Speech

Last Updated: December 23, 2023 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Rachel Weinshanker . Rachel Weinshanker is a Certified Event and Wedding Planner and the Owner of San Diego Life Events, an award-winning wedding and event planning business based in San Diego, California. Rachel has over eight years of event planning experience, and her work has been featured in many notable publications. San Diego Life Events has been awarded the Wedding Wire Couple's Choice Award in 2018, 2019, and 2020. Rachel is a graduate from San Diego State University. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 79,149 times.

So, you’ve written an awesome best man’s speech but you just can’t find the right words to close it out. Whether you’re looking for the perfect punchline or a beautiful toast, we’ve got your back! There are a ton of options here so rest assured that you’ll find the right solution based on what you’ve already written. In this article, we’ll walk you through how to craft a positive note, a toast, a quick joke, or some lovely well-wishes for the couple. Read on to learn everything you need to know about mastering the end of your speech.

Ending a Funny Speech

• For example, the person’s boss may be present, so you don’t want to say, “I wish you well, and hopefully Greg works harder for his bride than he does for his boss.”

• For example, say, “Here’s to you, Harry and Ginny, and Ginny, don’t try his ketchup spaghetti.”

• For example, you can say, “Emily deserves a great husband. Thankfully, you snapped her up before she found one.”
• For a funny ending, you might say something like, “To the two things that make a great marriage, a good sense of humor and selective hearing. To Peter and Paul.”
• If you aren’t comfortable making a joke, leave the humor out. A sincere, upbeat ending sounds better than a forced joke.

Finding with a Heartfelt Sendoff

• For instance, say something like, “Please join me in raising a glass to the happy couple.”
• If you don’t dedicate a separate line to the toast, clearly indicate that the end of your speech is coming. For instance, you might say the couple’s names, then stop and pick up your glass.

• For a serious ending, say something like, “Here’s to a lifetime of love and fulfillment.”

Rachel Weinshanker

Our Expert Agrees: When you're writing a best man's speech, keep it short and sweet, and even if your speech includes lighthearted jokes at the couple, end it on a positive note. That will leave the crowd feeling inspired and happy to be a part of the occasion.

• For example, you may think of saying, “Dante once said, ‘A great flame follows a little spark.’” If you have to have the quote, use it in the beginning of your speech.

• For example, avoid saying, “Take some time to listen and communicate, and I know we’ll be here someday to celebrate your 50th anniversary.”

Wrapping up with an Anecdote

• For example, say, “I wish my best friend and his bride a life filled with happiness, adventure, and great memories.”

• Good subject matter involves things like your friend’s hobbies, dancing, cooking, or experiences.

• For instance, say, “When Greg turned off Sunday football to meet up with Jane, I knew they really were in love.”

Delivering the Speech

• Also note any times you have trouble speaking the lines. As the best man, you have to sound enthusiastic. Adjust your speaking style as well as your speech.

• Many best man speeches run into trouble by rambling. Keep your ending short and to the point.

• For a great ending, the entire speech has to move quickly and lead into the final line. That’s why it’s important to rehearse your speech as a whole.

• You can always print or write out speech notes on notecards. Keep these with you in case you get stuck during the speech.
• Avoid reading from a script. The best speeches look and sounds natural.

• Be confident in the fact that you learned and practiced the ending. As long as you aren’t offensive, you will usually get a positive reaction.
• You don’t have to look directly at your audience. Glance around the room, focusing on different foreheads. No one will know the difference.

Sample Speeches

• ↑ https://www.primermagazine.com/2010/learn/best-man-speech
• ↑ https://www.moss.co.uk/inside-pocket/post/how-to-write-a-funny-best-man-speech
• ↑ https://www.thebestmanspeech.com/Advice13.cfm
• ↑ https://www.hitched.co.uk/wedding-planning/fun/18-tried-and-tested-jokes-for-the-best-mans-speech/

Expert Q&A

• When in doubt, remove a story or joke. You are better off having a totally serious ending rather than saying something inappropriate. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Be respectful of everyone around you. As long as you stay positive, your speech will be fine. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Practice your ending to refine it and make it a part of your whole speech. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

• Sometimes the crowd won’t follow along with your speech. If they look unhappy, change to a different tactic. Being positive and upbeat can help you recover. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• If your jokes or stories aren’t well-received, cut them out. Inappropriate jokes spoil the mood most of the time. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

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About This Article

If you’re unsure how to end your best man’s speech, there are a few options you can choose from. Consider closing your speech with a heartfelt comment on their marriage. For example, say something like, "I wish my best friend and his bride a life filled with happiness, adventure, and great memories," or "Here's to a lifetime of love and fulfillment." You can also wrap up your speech with a short joke, such as, “Emily deserves a great husband. Thankfully, Paul snapped her up before she found one.” This will work well if your speech is a comedic one. After your closing line, raise your glass and toast to the bride and groom. For more tips, including how to prepare for your speech, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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39 Funny Wedding Toasts and Speeches That'll Get the Whole Room Laughing

Plus, tips on writing and delivering a humorous speech that won't come off as a roast.

Photo by Abby Jiu Photography

In This Article

If you've been asked to give a wedding toast , it's important to recognize what a big deal this is. The couple must think very highly of you if they trust you to speak on their behalf in front of everyone they love on such a special day. Now that you recognize what a tremendous honor this is, you might be feeling a bit nervous about your new role as reception orator. Where should you begin planning your speech?

The most important thing to know about wedding speeches —whether you're the maid of honor, best man, or a parent—is that the best ones are both heartfelt and humorous. Another key feature of a perfect toast? It should be under five minutes. Now that you have the length down, you can start penning your toast by doing a deep-dive into your own memories of and feelings about the couple. For most people, those heartfelt bits come easily. It's the other half of the speech—the funny half—that tends to be tough to write. After all, coming up with zingers isn't a skill that we all naturally possess. So, to help you out in the laughs department, we’ve rounded up some of our favorite funny wedding toasts and marriage quotes below.

Feel free to borrow with abandon and mix them up as needed—whatever it takes to make your speech really shine! 

Photo by Twah Dougherty Photography

Funny Wedding Toast Ideas 

Whether you're the maid of honor, best man, or parent of the bride or groom, these one-liners and well-wishes are sure to garner some chuckles.

• "What do late nights, wild parties, and hanging out with friends on the weekend have in common? You won’t be able to do any of those things from now on. But congratulations on your wedding!"
• "May your children be blessed with rich parents." 
• "The couple asked that I don't share any embarrassing stories today... so that's it for me! Cheers to the newlyweds!"
• "Here's to you and here's to me, I hope we never disagree, But if, perchance, we ever do, Then here's to me, and to hell with you."
• "Let’s raise our glasses to the two secrets of a long-lasting marriage: a good sense of humor and a short memory."
• "May all of your ups and downs be only in the bedroom."
• "Our happy couple really struggled to find someone to give a speech today. They asked their most attractive friend first, and they said no. Then they asked their smartest friend, who also said no. After that, they went to their funniest friend, and the answer was still no. So then they asked me, and I couldn't turn them down for a fourth time!" 
• "Remember: In life there are only two tools anyone really needs in their toolbox—duct tape and WD40. Duct tape keeps things from moving when they shouldn’t, and WD40 gets things moving when they’re stuck."
• "May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live."
• "May you never lie, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie with each other. And if you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink with us. Cheers to the newlyweds!"
• "We are gathered here today to honor something so truly magical, so truly unique and wonderful, that it simply had to be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the doughnut wall."
• "As Bill and Ted once said: 'Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.'"
• "Saying 'I do' at your wedding is like clicking the 'I accept' box any time a new piece of software on your computer or phone asks you to read its terms and conditions: You do it despite having no idea what will come next. Congratulations on your marriage!"
• "Let me leave you with one piece of advice. Never laugh at your spouse’s choices. Remember: They also chose you. Cheers!"
• "Now, let’s raise our glasses to the happy couple. I actually like both of you—do you have any idea how rare that is?"
• "The couple has amazing taste, don't you think? I mean, we can all agree that they did choose the absolute best speaker tonight!"
• "May the most you wish for be the least you get." 
• "May your household multiply, and may your hearts never be divided."

Photo by Jose Villa

Funny Quotes for Your Wedding Toast 

Use these humorous bits to offer the newlyweds wisdom and advice with a wink in your toast.

• "The secret to a good marriage is to be a little deaf." — Ruth Bader Ginsburg 
• "We are all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love." — Dr. Seuss 
• "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." — Rita Rudner
• "Marriage is not just spiritual communion. It is also remembering to take out the trash." — Dr. Joyce Brothers
• "Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener." — Pauline Thomason  
• "A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes into it." — Unknown
• "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt." — Charles Schulz
• "Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy." — Henry Kissinger
• "To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up." — Ogden Nash
• "For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end." — Catherine Zeta-Jones
• "If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married." — Unknown
• "Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy." — Unknown
• "If at first you don’t succeed...try doing it the way your wife told you." — Unknown  
• "Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid [their] problems sound to you." — Megan Mullally 
• "The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret." — Henny Youngman
• "The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with." — Mac MacGuff in Juno 
• "A man is incomplete until he's married. After that, he's finished." — Zsa Zsa Gabor
• "Love is sharing your popcorn." — Charles Schultz
• "Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there." — George Burns
• "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times—always with the same person." — Mignon McLaughlin
• "Love is a lot like dancing; you just surrender to the music." — Pierce Brosnan

While quotes are great, keeping your wedding toasts personal or even providing quotes you remember from the couple getting married is always a good choice.

Photo by Les Loups

Tips for Writing and Delivering a Funny Wedding Toast

A funny wedding toast is a great way to keep everyone engaged; guests (especially after a few drinks at cocktail hour) don't always have the best attention spans for long, emotional speeches. A toast that's light, short, and appropriately funny is the recipe for one attendees will remember—and for all the right reasons. Just be sure to follow a few important tips for writing, practicing, and delivering a funny wedding toast.

Avoid too many inside jokes.

Have you ever been out with a group of friends and experienced everyone laughing about something that makes absolutely no sense to you? If so, you know that there's no worse feeling than being on the outside of an inside joke. While it's perfectly fine to include a few lines that make sense to just a few people in attendance, it's important to ensure that the vast majority of your toast resonates with everyone on the guest list.

Don't poke fun at the happy couple.

Remember that this is a toast, not a roast. It's best to be humorous but not mean-spirited or cruel. You want guests to laugh with you instead of at the happy couple, so avoid anything that feels as though you're mocking the newlyweds. Sharing funny stories and musings is a better course of action than retelling every embarrassing story you know about the bride or groom.

Be sure to strike the right balance between funny and serious.

While you don't have to pair every funny line with something more sentimental, it is nice to ensure there's a good mix of content in your speech. Balance all that (tasteful) humor with more serious sentiments—how much you love the couple, what their bond has taught you about happy relationships, and your hopes and dreams for their long, happy future together—and you've got a guaranteed hit.

Have someone else vet it.

Who can forget that scene in Wedding Crashers where Rachel McAdams thinks she's written the world's funniest speech and Owen Wilson kindly tells her to speak from the heart instead? While you might think you've penned a winner, it's best to let someone you trust weigh in before you take it to the crowd. Be open-minded about their feedback and willing to adjust if they note any major red flags.

Practice, practice, practice.

Your speech might be rock solid, but if you're tripping over every word or rushing through what you've written, guests will never know how great it is. Though definitely don't have to memorize it, you should practice it a few times through to make sure there are no clunky phrases or tough to pronounce words. Nail your timing and make sure you give your jokes a little breathing room for laughs, too.

Related Stories

• The Wedding Speech Order You Should Follow at Your Reception
• How to Write and Deliver a Perfect Father-of-the-Bride Speech
• 100 Funny Anniversary Quotes to Honor the Person Who Makes You Laugh the Most
• Public Speaking Experts Share Their Top Tips for Giving an Amazing Wedding Speech
• How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech
• Everything to Know About Your Groom Speech: Tips, Advice, and Examples
• How to Write a Wedding Toast: Examples, Tips, and Advice
• How to Write a Maid of Honor Speech
• 60 Wedding Toast Quotes for Every Speech
• How to Write a Father-of-the-Groom Speech
• Mother-of-the-Bride Speech Examples and Writing Tips
• Bridal Shower Card Messages: Writing Tips and Examples to Inspire Your Own
• 90 Wedding Gift Message Ideas for the Happy Couple
• 66 Happy Marriage Quotes That Will Inspire Every Couple
• 80 Bachelorette Party Captions, Quotes, and Phrases for Your Pre-Wedding Trip
• How to Write a Heartfelt Letter to the Bride If You're Her Bridesmaid, Friend, or Family

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30 Brilliant Opening Lines for Your Best Mans Speech

Author: Hollie Bond

NB: To help you browse our best suggestions we have included some third party links. Some purchases made through these links may earn us a commission to help keep our blogs and offers current and up to date. Thanks for your support!

Looking for the perfect best man speech opening lines to delight wedding guests? We’ve rounded up 30 of the funniest opening lines for every style of best man speech here.

Staring at a blank piece of paper with no idea of how to start your best man speech ? It’s a situation that pretty much every best man before you has been in before, so you’re certainly not alone. The beginning of a speech is always the hardest bit to get right, but once you’ve nailed that first sentence and won over the wedding guests it’s all plain sailing from there.

It’s important to spend some time and effort thinking about your audience, the happy couple, and the sort of icebreaker that will work best for them and you. Remember to play to your strengths. If you’re not a natural comedian then steer clear of too many best man speech jokes and opt for something charming, self-deprecating, or heartfelt instead.

Whatever type of best man wedding speech you’re hoping to deliver for your best friend, there’s an icebreaker to suit. We’ve compiled 30 of our favorites below that work at all types of weddings. Choose one of these best man speech openers to get your speech started in style and then read our ultimate guide to writing a best man speech to ensure the rest of your speech is as brilliant as that opening sentence.

Best Man Speech Openers

1. Ladies and gentlemen, before I start just some quick housekeeping. Firstly, if you’ve got your mobile phone on you please make sure to keep it switched ON during the speech, for your own entertainment. Secondly, if you see any good jokes in your scrolling, be sure to forward them on to me.

2. I’d like to offer a toast to the bride and groom [*Pull a piece of toast out your pocket and give it to them*]

3. Hi everyone, I’m (your name). I’m here to tell you about (groom’s name) and how truly special, talented, good looking and… sorry mate, I’m struggling to read your handwriting here.

4. I’d like to start by congratulating the groom on his excellent taste in best men. He’s really outdone himself this time.

5. The bride and groom have asked that I don’t share any embarrassing stories, stag do pranks or crude jokes in my best man’s speech… so that’s it from me! Thanks for listening.

6. A wedding is such an emotional day for everyone. Even the cake is in tiers.

7. For those of you who can’t hear me at the back, you should be reassured by the complete silence in the front row here that you’re really not missing much.

8. To start this speech, I searched online for ‘the perfect best man speech’, but you had to pay to read the examples and I didn’t think it was worth it, so I’m just going to wing it.

9. If there’s anyone here this afternoon who’s feeling nervous and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it’s probably because you’ve just married (groom’s name).

10. All those among you who really know the bride will know that she is a wonderful person who deserves a good husband. Thank god (groom’s name) married her before she found one.

11. Loyal, caring, sincere, honest, good looking, and a great man. But enough about me…!

12. Those of you that know me, know that I’m not big on making speeches [*sit down*]

13. My only wish for the bride and groom is that each day of their marriage is better than the previous so that they can look back on today, their wedding day, and say that it was the worst day of their lives.

14. (Groom’s name) knows his wife so well. When I asked him what her favourite flower was, he replied “self-raising”.

15. Good evening. I’m so happy to preside over the only five minutes that the bride didn’t plan. Of course, I’m only joking. She went over the speech with me half an hour ago in the bar.

16. I just heard there was a competitive sweepstake on how long the best man speech should last. I put my money on 45 minutes, so make yourselves comfortable…

17. I’ve been told I can’t get away with a few thank yous and a quick toast in this best man speech. Apparently, I’m supposed to sing the groom’s praises and talk about all his good qualities. Unfortunately, I can’t sing and I don’t like lying.

18. You’ve got no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to today. After all the years I’ve been friends with the groom, he has finally admitted that I am in fact the best man.

19. I don’t believe in roasting the groom on his wedding day. Therefore this speech won’t contain anything embarrassing about (groom’s name). Instead I’ll refer only to the kind and funny side of his character. Thank you and goodnight.

20. A best man is similar to a dead body at a funeral. You’re expected to be there, but if you say too much, people start freaking out.

21. A wise man once told me that a best man speech is like a miniskirt. It should be short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the goods.

22. Ladies and gentlemen before I start the venue owner has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation.

23. I’ll try to keep my speech short, because every minute I speak is an extra minute’s delay in witnessing how the groom’s dance lessons worked out.

24. (Groom’s name) had the honour of being my best man. He spent months writing a perfect, tender and charming speech. Everyone agreed it was funny and beautiful. Unfortunately I’m a married man, so I haven’t had the time to do all that.

25. I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to be best man at (bride and grooms’ names) wedding. (Groom’s name) made me compete for this honour today, but I was able to beat the barman over there in rock-paper-scissors, so here I am!

26. I’ve been worried about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately last night I slept like a baby. Waking up every two hours and bawling my eyes out.

27. I didn’t really want to do this speech, but I thought it might be the only chance I’ll get to have a meal and some drinks paid for by (groom’s name).

28. I always knew the groom’s speech would be hard to follow. In fact, I couldn’t understand a word of it.

29. Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve now reached the point in the proceedings when we all get to see the groom shift uncomfortably in his seat and grip the tablecloth in nervous anticipation. That’s right, I’ve been asked to give him the drinks bill.

30. I read somewhere that the perfect best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So please could everyone raise a glass to the happy couple!

Now you’ve chosen your opening line you’ll want to include some other best man speech jokes throughout your speech to keep your guests entertained. Read our guide to hilarious best man speech jokes here .

Hollie Bond

Hollie is a lifestyle journalist with over ten years’ experience working in the wedding industry as Lifestyle Editor for You & Your Wedding magazine Also a Regional Editor for Muddy Stilettos, Hollie has written for Square Meal magazine, Family History Monthly, BBC History magazine and Homes & Antiques. In her spare time you can find Hollie in a dance studio practising ballet…

Learn more about Hollie Bond

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Best Man Speech: The Definitive Guide to Smashing it

by Catherine D July 12, 2019

Here’s all you need to deliver an incredible and unforgettable best man speech.

Congratulations!

You’ve just been awarded the highest honor a bro can receive.  You’re the best man! And that’s an honor greater than being knighted by the queen. But I’m sure you know what comes with it.

You’ll have to give that best man speech brosef!

Though, you won’t want to give just any speech off the top of your head that nobody is going to give a damn about.

Just remember what Uncle Ben said to Spidey, “With great power comes great responsibility”. It’s that serious, man.

You’ve probably seen best man speeches like this before. The guy stands up, hits the glass and says something, uninspired, about how he’s bros with the groom, congratulates the bride-to-be, and then sits down.

Or maybe you’ve seen another kind of speech, where the best man stands up and talks about nothing for 10+ minutes, putting you to sleep, because who even cares?

During a reception, there are about a million different things going on. People will forget the things that do not grab their attention, especially at a reception.

Everyone there is busy talking, eating, laughing, and will not care or even remember a boring speech in a few days. But not yours, my friend, you’re going to be the star of the day.

In this guide, we give you everything you need to know in sequence - from the writing process, all the way to delivering that wedding toast. Get your notepad ready for some very important tips on giving your wedding toast!

So How Do You Write the Best Man Speech?

The hardest part is always just getting started. Here are some basic tips on how to write a best man speech so that you can be prepared and dominate when the time comes.

Be Prepared and Plan Ahead

Practice makes perfect. Creating a fantastic speech doesn’t happen overnight.

If you’re going to wow the audience, you’ll need to make sure you’ve done everything you possibly can and covered every base - and man, that takes time.

Generally, 2-3 months is the right amount of time to give yourself when writing for a best man speech to account for the overall writing process and potential rewrites.

Considering all of the events that follow, like the bachelor party and the suit fitting, you’ll be too busy in those final moments to prepare a killer best man speech that’s even half decent.

Record Every Thought

You might be on the bus or in your car and think of an incredible quote or one-liner to say in your wedding toast, but our memories are very limited.

It’s difficult to remember what you even had for lunch two days ago, much less something you thought up some random time.

No matter where you are, record your thoughts. You could write in a journal, use your iPhone’s “Voice Memos” app or an app like Evernote . Scratch them onto a napkin, carve them into a stone near you, just get those wedding toast ideas down!

As long as you start capturing your thoughts, you’ll eventually reach a gold mine.

Think of this more as ‘capturing’ than ‘writing’. It’s easier to capture your raw best man speech ideas than banging your head on the wall trying to ‘write’ something from scratch.

Keep a Positive Tone

When it comes to the best man speech, the main thing to keep in mind is the goal of what you want to accomplish - celebrating the bride and groom. Here are some things to focus on:

• Your best experiences with the groom.
• How great a pair the bride and groom are.
• The best qualities of the groom.
• Possible first thoughts on the bride when they met (If they were good thoughts!)

Focus on the best of times, and further expand upon those points the best you can and maybe you can use those for a few wedding jokes!

With that in mind, here’s what not to say:

What Not to Talk About in Your Speech

While you may be writing to make your groom laugh, you need to remember your audience is diverse. You have children, elders, and teenagers so you wouldn’t want to write something inappropriate.

Generally, it’s best to avoid things like these:

• Any previous relationships.
• Anything about drugs, alcohol, gambling.
• Perverse topics, or anything of a sexual nature.
• Harsh negativity.
• Inside jokes that are too specific.

The idea is to avoid anything raunchy or disheartening during your speech, even if it might be hilarious in your head, you’ll have to avoid it in your best man speech.

Think about how upset Grandma would be if you happened to talk about how her little Jimmy actually hasn’t been saving himself for marriage - what horror!

How Long Should a Best Man Speech Be?

So you have a great speech, and you’ve covered every single talking point that fit. Everyone’s going to love this, right?

Wrong! When writing a best man speech, you’ll want to keep it way, way shorter.

The problem is that what you wrote is almost 30 minutes long! No bueno amigo. Nothing on this Earth could keep people engaged in a wedding toast that long.

You’re not going for a ‘F.D.R. Repairing the American Psyche During The Great Depression’ type of speech. What you want is more like an ‘I Love You, Man’ speech.

It seems like everyone from everywhere throws out an arbitrary number ranging from 1-10 minutes, but really, research shows our attention span is even shorter than a goldfish .

Which means you have 8 seconds to make an impression . Let that sink in.

The best man speech is usually between meals at a reception. That means you have to make your mark - and get in what you have to say in a short time. Meaning that short best man speeches are perfectly fine, you don’t have to overthink it.

It can be 1 minute, it can be 5 minutes.  Keep the audience engaged in your speech and don’t ramble off unnecessarily.

How do you do that? Practice!

It’s All About Practice

You know, it’s okay to feel unsatisfied with what you wrote. After all, you’re not the most accomplished writer in the world. You just want to prepare a great best man speech and get back to Netflix binging.

The writing process can be tough, so here’s an ideal approach that most people use when writing the best material:

• Write a few pages of content just to get the speech ideas out.
• Realize that you’ve written a movie's worth of material.
• Take what you really like.
• Edit until you stop hating it.

Being intimidated serves no purpose.

Get Interviewed Bruh

If you’re not the best writer (or capturer), the previous steps might seem a little intimidating to you. That’s fine. Not everyone can put pen to paper as well as they’d like, and if that’s you, consider having a friend interview you!

Getting a friend or family member to interview you about your experiences with the groom is a great way of getting wedding speech ideas. Here are a few topics to get interviewed on:

• Where did you meet?
• Did you like each other at first?
• When did you become bros?
• What kind of crazy experiences did you have together?
• What kind of bad qualities does he have?
• What kind of good qualities does he have?

Answering these questions with a recording device can help you when you need to put the best man speech together, and you can recall things you might never have just by writing!

Be (Relatively) Sober

Even if you have a Wade Boggs alcohol tolerance, it’s best to keep the drinks to a minimum.

( The guy drank 64 beers on one cross country flight, what the hell? )

Having one or two drinks is fine if it helps calm the nerves, but any more will mess up any chance of giving a decent best man toast, and you’ll just look silly slurring your words or acting strangely. Remember, all eyes are on you during your best man speech.

Try Some Best Man Speech Jokes or Quotes

So suppose you’ve got your speech together, but you have a placeholder like:

[ Put a joke in here! ] in 3-4 spots, and you really have no idea what to put in there.

We got you covered.

Here are some best man speech opening lines you could work with and personalize for whatever you may need, because the opportunity for wedding jokes is a rare thing! These make great icebreakers to warm your audience up.

“Well, where do I even start? [Groom] is just incredible. He’s brilliant, funny, caring… Anyway, I can’t really read your handwriting [Groom], so just tell me whatever the rest was after.”

“[Bride], you really are an incredible woman. You deserve an absolutely incredible husband, so I’m not going to stop until I figure out what’s wrong here.”

“Thank you everyone for bearing with me, I Googled ‘best man speech jokes’ and every site asked for my credit card before showing me any examples, so here goes nothing.”

“For those of you who know the bride, she’s really a wonderful woman who deserves a wonderful man. So good job, [Groom], for marrying her before she found one.”

“For anyone who finds this speech particularly not funny, I got all of my jokes from [Groom] so please, blame that guy.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, I wasn’t given a microphone tonight and I deeply apologize. To anyone in the back, If you hear silence at the front, be sure that you’re not missing anything.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, before I begin this speech I’d just like to say I am absolutely thrilled that I beat the bartender at rock-paper-scissors twenty minutes ago for the honor of best man.”

Putting Together a Best Man Speech Outline

Now that you have an idea of how to write a best man speech, it’s just as important to know how to structure it. While there are canned free best man speech templates out there, it's really best to get a bird's eye view on what you want to say and create a structure that works for you personally. Don't just take any random free speech template from online and fire it up. Not every outline or template will work for your needs, so get a good idea of your vision first then begin to structure it.

Flow matters, and it’s the most important thing in putting together great best man speeches. Without good flow, you’ll lose the crowd and people won’t follow what you’re saying.

Here are some great ideas to nail the best man speech structure and make your speech shine.

The Introduction

The introduction needs to serve a single purpose: Getting people engaged! This is the key aspect of any best man speech formula.

The One-Liner Approach

An incredible one-liner is a great way of getting started. A good idea for this would be to roast the groom a little bit, he probably wouldn’t mind.

For example, what faults does he have? You can take advantage of that to make slight jabs at him.

Or you can even make fun of yourself in the process, what do you both suck at? Maybe you want to talk about that awkward mullet phase you both had in high school. Live it up!

The Congratulatory Approach

Alternatively, you can open by showing gratitude to:

• The bride and groom, for bringing everyone together.
• The guests, for attending this incredible event.
• The parents of the bride and groom, for bringing them into this world.

This approach is a good option at the beginning. You can use it as a Plan B if you think you can’t gather an appropriate one-liner.

It’s easy to get lost in thought about what to follow up a good opener in a best man speech, but nothing is safer than a good story to engage your audience.

The idea is to create a connection to the groom and then present it to the guests.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Where you met the groom.
• What makes him a great guy.
• Crazy stories that show who he is.
• Why he’s an excellent fit for the bride.
• How he changed for the better after he met the bride.

Really, anything goes, and they’re all sure to keep people interested. Focus on the organic story of your friendship and don’t be robotic.

You’ll want to accomplish this in a way that stays kosher, though, avoiding unsavory details mentioned in our #4 tip.

Congratulate the Bride

So, you don’t have to do this, but we definitely encourage it. The issue is, not everyone really knows the bride. Honestly, maybe you met her a month ago, or a week ago.

Who knows, you could have met her literally just now. When your buddy gets hitched, it’s quite common to not really know the lady herself.

If this is true, you can handle this two ways:

Stick to something like:

“I knew she was a great fit for you the moment I saw you together”.

“She really is the perfect match for you dude.”

Sure the groom will know you barely know her, but whatever, if he really is your bro, he’ll appreciate that you’re saving face like this.

2. Avoid it.

Look, you’re the best man, it means the groom chose you, he knows you. Which means that he’s most likely expecting your best man speech to be about your experiences together, so keep the content focused around your relationship.

This means that it’s okay to avoid any mention of the bride after the first few words when writing a best man speech.

It works in most cases to just congratulate her in the intro, and then continue on with your speech avoiding her entirely.

This might sound a little underhanded, but it works, and most likely, the audience won’t notice.

If you know the bride, then speak about her.

If you’re just as close to the bride as you are to the groom, then you need to take all of the prior steps to make a compelling speech for the bride too, which won’t make the best man toast easy but hey, you don’t want to piss her off.

You could share a story about her too, or you can talk about one where the bride and groom shared with you, which is always a safe bet.

How to End Your Wedding Toast

Here’s where you wrap up your thoughts, and keep this part short, you don’t have to stress it too much.

It’s as easy as saying something like,

“Jack, Jill, to a lifetime of good health, love, and joy!”

There are a thousand different things you can say here, but the main idea is to keep the tone positive, upbeat, congratulate their love and wish the best for them.

NOTE: It is absolutely acceptable to keep a paper copy of your speech on hand because you’re not remembering your speeches like a world leader at the U.N. You’re just a guy who’s happy for his bro.

Best Man Speech Examples

Even if you have everything else down, it’s always best to have some speech examples of how to tackle your wedding toast.

People have done it before you, so why go in blind? Here are some different types of best man speeches for unique scenarios you may want to try for your best man toast.

Funny Best Man Speech (Example)

“Hello Everyone, I’m John, I’m the best man, and if you find this speech unfunny, [Groom] and I have the same sense of humor, so please blame him.

I’m just joking, of course, I promised [Groom] I wouldn’t roast him too much today or talk about anything too weird, so I’ll just talk about the good parts of his character...

...Thank you, everyone, have a great evening.

But really, [Groom] and I have been friends since before I knew how even to tie my own shoelaces. He’s a brother to me, even more than my actual brother, sometimes.

Sorry, Alex.”

Emotional Best Man Speech (Example)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I’m the best man, Chris. [Groom] and I go way back, all the way from high school. Through the years, he’s grown from a pain in the ass, into a fine man.

[Groom] was always shy when it came to meeting new people, and that’s sorta hard to hear considering how a guy like that could be such a perfect match with [Bride]. But I can’t imagine him without you, because I’ve seen what it looked like.

[Bride], you are both so dear to me, please take care of [Groom], please keep him out of trouble.”

Short Best Man Speech (Example)

“Good evening, everyone, from the moment that [Groom] met [Bride], I knew that this was going to be something special.

The way you two talk to each other, you’re so alike sometimes that honestly, it kind of scares me.

But to quote Mark Twain, ‘To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.’ May your love be timeless.”

Hopefully these wedding toast examples give you ideas on how to model your own best man speech!

The Presentation - Delivering the Best Man Speech

You have the writing and the flow down. Great! Most of the hard work is all done.

But don’t forget, you’re delivering a best man speech. And grand statements are always accompanied by excellent speech etiquette.

Here are some best man speech tips that’ll help you deliver, so that you don’t look like an uncomfortable 4th grader at a talent show your Mom forced you into.

Practice Your Speech on Camera

You’re noticing a trend, right? Practicing the actual delivery of the best man speech in front of a camera is a great way to see what poor and good habits you have.

And then, you need to keep practicing to eliminate the bad ones. For example, do you notice that you slump too much? Do you happen to mumble? Do you look down a lot?

Take note of all of these when you look at the recording and then try the speech again while mindfully avoiding bad habits and watching out for awkwardly delivered wedding jokes.

Practice in Front of People

Sure, using a camera is an excellent way to correct issues, but there’s nothing better than getting an outsider opinion.

Getting a spectator to sit and watch you deliver your best man toast lets someone tear into your bad habits without any bias. It may be painful, but this is what you want, and a larger group of people is best.

That way, when it’s time to give the best man speech, the concerns an audience member might have are already known to you.

The Honest Truth Man

Remember that a best man speech is a celebration of the love and joy that the bride and groom share. You don’t have to stress about every minor detail, because the audience isn’t (and they’ll most likely all be drunk anyway).

They’re already lightened up, and in the mood for a good few words, so why spend your time being nervous? It’s not worth it. Enjoy yourself up there and just deliver that crushing best man toast.

After it’s through, you can start drinking again, which is what you’ll probably want to do anyway.

Say what you have to say, and raise a toast to the bride and groom. Use this guide as a helpful resource and come back to it as many times as you need to ensure a totally awesome best man speech.

Good luck on your best man speech!

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How To Write A Killer Best Man Speech (With Templates)

A funny, heartfelt speech from the best man is one of the most memorable parts of a wedding. Here’s how to give a great toast (without embarrassing yourself).

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A best man speech is the perfect way to send your brother or friend the best wishes in their marriage, but standing up in front of the crowd can be super nerve-wracking. If you’ve been invited to be the best man at a wedding but have no idea what to say in your speech, you’re not alone! 

Over 75% of the population cites public speaking as one of their biggest fears. Thankfully, it’s a people skill that anyone can develop. A great event toast can be a game-changer and make you feel like a celebrity amongst the wedding guests. 

Watch our video to learn the best (and worst) speech openers:

Here’s how to overcome your public speaking anxiety and give a knockout best man speech that will incite laughter, smiles, or even sentimental tears. 

Quick Answer: How to Write a Best Man Speech Fast (with Template!)

A killer best man toast has a formula:

• Start with a funny or complimentary introduction
• Lead into a short story
• Add a dash of vulnerability
• End with genuine congratulations to the bride and groom. 

You won’t want to wing the speech after you’ve had a few drinks when you feel strapped for time before the wedding. Instead, take just 30 minutes of planning and note-making to save you (and the bride & groom) the embarrassment of an excessively long or inappropriate ramble. 

If you want to write a best man speech fast, follow this brief template for a great toast. Your toast should be roughly 3 to 5 minutes long. You can use numbered index cards to jot down the highlights of each section. Then, rehearse a few times in the mirror in the days leading up to the event. 

The most straightforward speech outline includes seven main components: 

• A great one-liner : This could be a funny joke, a compliment, or an inspirational quote about brotherhood or marriage. The first 15 seconds of the toast should capture the audience’s attention and leave them excited for more. Modify this:

“I’d like to begin by congratulating the groom for his superb taste in choosing the best man [chuckle].” 

• Compliment the wedding : Build your respect with the guests by highlighting things you like about the wedding. For example, you can compliment the beauty of the venue, the delicious food, or the great choice of music. Modify this:

“All jokes aside, this is a beautiful wedding. The bride and groom look like a movie star couple together. And if you didn’t taste the cake, you are missing out!” 

• Express gratitude : Say “thank you” to those who made the wedding possible and show appreciation to the groom for choosing you as his best man. Modify this:

“I am so grateful to Mr. and Mrs. Zimerman for hosting us here today, and thank you to the bride and groom for inviting me to be part of their special day.” 

• Tell a story : Did you and the groom meet as kids on the baseball field? Were you there when he first met his bride? Did you share a funny experience in college that is appropriate to share? The “meat” of the speech will be a short story about your relationship with the groom. A great story sounds like this:

 “When I first met Jeff, he was in a period of transition in life, like we all go through. He had just started a new job at my office in San Francisco, and we met because of our mutual addiction to double shot espressos (iced with a little cream) at 6 AM every morning from the corner coffee shop Bob’s Cup O’ Joe. When we both arrived at the office at the same time, 3 days in a row with eyes like this [widen eyes big], I knew we would be friends for life. A million espressos, meetings, and after-work beers later, I am so proud to call Jeff my best friend. When he told me about meeting a beautiful blonde named Anne at Bob’s Cup O’ Joe a few years later, I knew something would become of it. She even drank the same double shot espressos, iced with a little cream!”  

• Admire the couple : Strengthen your bond with the newlyweds by expressing your support for their marriage. If you know a bit about the bride and groom’s relationship, list a few things you admire about their bond. You may emphasize how the bride has positively impacted the groom’s life or how they make a great team. 

“Jeff and Anne are a perfect pair, and it seriously warms my heart to see a couple so amazingly in love. They compliment each other in every way and radiate joy when they are together.” 

• Summarize your thoughts : Before you wrap up your speech, go back and highlight your key ideas. You can pre-write 2-3 crisp sentences summarizing your support of the couple’s marriage. Modify this:

“I wish I could say I predicted this day would come, but Jeff’s incredible character and charm won Anne over. I am so grateful to be friends with both of them and to join you all in this celebration.” 

• Toast to the future : At the end of your speech, raise your glass for a toast to the couple’s love. Modify this: 

“Please join me in raising our glasses to a lifetime of happiness and espressos for Jeff and Anne Allison!” 

Here is an awesome example of a short and sweet 4-minute toast that left the crowd cracking up:

It’s best to memorize your speech, but there is no shame in bringing a few index cards in your pocket to reference if you get nervous. Don’t forget to prepare and rehearse in advance. 

For a more in-depth speech, see our step-by-step guide below. 

What to Say in a Best Man Speech (Do’s and Don’ts)

A best man’s speech traditionally takes place at the wedding reception after the maid of honor gives her speech. The best man’s speech should be positive, respectful, and congratulatory. It can last 3 to 5 minutes and should focus on a central theme or story about the groom. 

Remember, a best man speech is not the time to “wing it.” If you do that, there may come the point when everything suddenly goes silent, and a crowd of 50-100+ people is staring at you, waiting for what you’re going to say about the groom. You probably don’t want to end up with a cringing audience while telling a story about the groom’s previous relationships:

Instead, remember these key best man speech tips for a successful toast: 

Here are a few examples of what you should say in a best man speech:

• How did you meet the groom?
• What is one of your favorite memories with him?
• How did the groom meet the bride? Were you there?
• What is special about the groom?
• What do you like most about him? 
• What are his positive traits? 
• Playful banter : You don’t want to be too corny and cheesy with your bro. Depending on your relationship with the groom and the culture of the wedding, you may want to throw in a little banter with your dude. For example, you might make a funny joke about how much the groom loves going out to eat:

You should also avoid some key topics in a best man speech. 

Do not mention:

• The groom’s past relationships
• Sexual jokes
• Drugs, alcohol, or past mistakes
• Insecurities of the groom
• Financial or personal information 
• Insults to the bride or the wedding guests 
• Overly embarrassing stories
• Teasing the bride
• Anything that could potentially harm your friendship

Keep things positive and lighthearted. While a little witty banter or playful teasing can be fun (depending on your relationship with the groom), you should avoid insulting him or highlighting any major insecurities. The “playful” part of the speech is an excellent fun icebreaker, but it shouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings or make them feel publicly embarrassed in front of their wedding guests.

How to Write a Best Man Speech for Best Friend or Brother: Easy Step-by-Step Guide

If you’re ready to prepare something more in-depth than the quick ideas above, this step-by-step guide can help you write a thoughtful speech that the groom may remember forever. After all, being named the best man at your friend or brother’s wedding is a tremendous honor. But like any honor, it comes with some responsibilities. After you finish all your bachelor party and wedding duties, an epic best man speech can be like the fireworks at the show’s end. 

Here are 5 simple steps to make it count:

#1 Start with a theme

Before you start writing and rehearsing your speech, it helps to decide on a theme for your talk. This will give a nice flow to the speech. A theme ensures that you stay on track to communicate your congratulations and appreciation to the groom. 

What is the main message you want to get across? A few theme ideas include:

• Anecdotes : Best man toasts center around storytelling. This theme is the easiest way to stay on track because you are telling a simple story from beginning to end. 
• Humor : Whether you’re naturally funny or working on your jokes ,  your speech is the perfect opportunity to get the audience laughing. Best man speeches are known for getting a little saucy, but you must be careful about offending the crowd or making crude jokes that might insult the bride and groom. If you want to tease the groom with some witty banter, it helps to make fun of yourself or reference an appropriate inside joke.
• Inspirational : Have you and the groom achieved an important business goal or accomplishment together? Do you have a shared role model or favorite motivational book you both read in college? This speech theme can leave the audience feeling inspired.
• Morality : Use your speech to highlight the great person the groom is. Perhaps you give examples of his integrity, trustworthiness, or generosity. You can emphasize how lucky you are to know the groom and how glad you are that he found a woman to spend his life with. 
• Sentimentality : When humor and storytelling aren’t your fortes, it doesn’t hurt to get a little corny. Sentimental speeches require a level of emotional vulnerability, but they can leave a huge impact on the newlyweds and their attendees.

#2 Create an outline

You wouldn’t go on a road trip without a navigation system, so don’t go into your speech without a plan. The best toasts and speeches follow the same structure. Pull out a piece of paper and brainstorm some ideas using this format, then use the following steps to fill in the details:

• Hook/Opening statement : The opening statement should be a 1 to 3-line description about the groom. The first 7 seconds of the speech should hook the audience immediately. It warms them up to you and makes them want to pay attention to the amusing stories. You’ll find an abundance of opening-line ideas in the next section. 
• Background context : Now comes the why of your speech. This is where the context of your relationship with the groom comes in. You can throw in some funny jokes and a few details about your experience with him. Use this intro to build up the anticipation for the story to come. Write down a few ideas of stories you can tell. 
• Tell the story : Choose 1-3 short stories about the groom that is funny, slightly embarrassing, or interesting. Jot down a few of the sensory elements you want to reference, like the smelly locker room or the squeaking of tire wheels. Most stories follow a bell-curve pattern—they start with an intro, lead to rising action, peak with a capstone moment, then tie back to the beginning. Keep this in mind as you brainstorm and follow the story-planning steps below. 
• Take-home message : After you get a good laugh or “awww” out of the audience, you’ll want to bring the story back to the beginning. What do you want them to remember about your speech and friendship with the groom? 
• Thank the wedding party : Use a quick sentence to thank the wedding party and hosts. Express your genuine gratitude for being invited. 
• Closing toast and congratulations : After wrapping up the story and thanking the wedding party, you should invite the audience to toast the bride and groom with you. For an extra cheery finale, act as if you are speaking on their behalf and include lots of well-wishes for the newlyweds. 

Pro Tip : Before filling in your outline details, watch this video for an overview of how to give a memorable toast. Human behavior expert Vanessa Van Edwards explains the most common mistakes (don’t start with “I,” “me,” or “my”) and a few secrets to getting the audience to perk up in their seats. 

#3 Nail the opening line 

Once you have your outline, it’s time to dig into the details. People decide their first impression of you within 7 seconds, so it’s extra important to nail the opening line of your speech. Best men use this opportunity to crack a joke, compliment the wedding, or set a sentimental tone for the speech. 

Avoid making the first lines about you. No “me”, “I”, or “my”. Instead, start with a juicy or mysterious line about the groom, for example:

If you need a little inspiration, here are some hilarious and quirky best man speech opening lines: 

• “Caring, loyal, honest, good-looking, and an all-around-great guy… OK, enough about me, onto the groom…!” 
• “This is the perfect chance to tell you about [Groom] and how talented, special, smart, good-looking, and… sorry, man, I can’t read your handwriting here.” 
• “I’d like to give a toast to the bride and groom.” [pull a piece of toasted bread from your pocket and give it to them]
• “[Groom’s name] is the kind of person you call when you lock yourself out of the dorm bathroom without any clothes on.” 
• “The bride and groom asked me not to share embarrassing stories or crude jokes during my speech… so that’s it from me! Thanks for listening, everyone.”
• “I’d like to start by congratulating the groom for his excellent taste in choosing the best man.” 
• “[Groom] had a tough time choosing his best man. First, he called his most handsome friend, but he said no. Then, he called his smartest friend, and he said no. Then, he called his most successful friend, who also said no. Then he called me, and I said, ‘Bro, I can’t say no to you four times.'”
• “What can I say about [Groom]? I guess I’ll start at the very beginning. He was born on [groom’s birthday]. Our parents were hoping for a girl, but I’ve always said… close enough.”

Here is a genuinely funny opening line from a best brother wedding speech:

Pro Tip : Don’t forget to pause for laughter. If it doesn’t come, you can chuckle at yourself and cue the audience that they are supposed to laugh by saying, “This is where you are supposed to laugh,” or joking, “Sound guy, can you please cue the laugh track?” Then, keep going with your speech.

Don’t worry. You need not be a jokester to give a great opening line. If you want to go the nostalgic or tearjerker route, be sure it is highly personalized and thoughtful. Here are some sentimental opening line ideas:

• “There are friends, and there is family, but friends also become family. This is so true for [Groom] and me. We’ve been best friends since we were X years old, and I’ve always considered him my brother.” 
• “There’s an old Irish proverb that says a good friend is like a four-leaf clover—hard to find and lucky to have. I think that’s true. Good friends are hard to find, and I’m lucky to have called [Groom] my best friend for the last X years.” 
• “I’ve heard that the best relationships come from the foundation of a deep friendship. Experts say that laughter, mutual respect, and enjoying each other’s company are the ingredients for a long-lasting, joyful marriage. After knowing [Groom] and [Bride] for X years, there is no doubt in my mind that they will make a great pair.” 
• “In Good Will Hunting , Robin Williams said, ‘It doesn’t matter if the guy is perfect or the girl is perfect as long as they are perfect for each other.” Anyone who has seen [Groom] and [Bride] together can agree that this is true for them. I haven’t seen a perfect pair, and I’m happy to be part of this celebration of their love.” 

To learn more about the best speech openers, use this guide on How to Start a Speech: The Best (and Worst) Speech Openers . Some top tips include:

• Avoid starting with a lackluster nicety like “thanks for having me.” 
• Don’t mention your nervousness.
• Avoid mentioning technical difficulties like the microphone or saying, “Can you hear me?” 

Bonus Tip: Learn the Art of Stage Presence

Did you know that public speaking is actually a skill? Many people struggle with stage anxiety because they feel they ‘missed the memo’ on public speaking or they are lacking because they do not have a natural stage presence. Not true!

Stage presence and public speaking are skills you need to be taught—very few people have them naturally. 

Watch our video to learn 7 steps to overcome stage fright and beat performance anxiety:

Here are all the aspects of public speaking you can master.

• How to make a first impression with an audience
• How to have stage presence
• Powerful body language
• How to speak with a commanding voice
• What to do with your hands while speaking

For every speaking skill you add to your toolbox, the less speaking anxiety you will feel.

If you want help really diving into your presentation skills, be sure to sign up for our course…

Master Your People Skills

• Create a Memorable Presence
• Communicate with Confidence
• Achieve Your Goals

Have a question about the presentation or People School? Email Science of People support .

#4 Background context

Now that you’ve grabbed the audience’s attention, it’s time to give them a little background on why you are giving a speech in the first place. This is another sneak peek at some details you’ll cover in the speech. 

The whole point of this part is to tell them how you know the groom—but it isn’t about you. You’ll often hear wedding speeches that start with a drab, “I met the groom in college” or, “My name is ___, and I’m the best man.” You can do better than that! Try saying:

• “The groom was the first friend I made on the high school football team. I had no idea we would become roommates in a bachelor pad throughout college.” 
• “As little kids, the groom and I were known to be a dangerous duo in the neighborhood. He always carried the eggs and toilet paper, then instructed me where to throw them. But you can guess who always took the blame for his antics….” 
• “The groom and I have been friends and business partners for X years, and as you’ll hear shortly, he is the main reason I broke my arm during the last office basketball game. But first, I want to tell you a less embarrassing story….” 

Pro Tip : Focus on the groom, and don’t make it about you. One of the biggest mistakes people make during wedding speeches is talking too much about themselves. Your speech shouldn’t discuss where you’re from, what you think, or how you ended up at the party. The best man’s speech is a time to focus on the groom and his bride. 

#5 Tell the story  

After your punchy opening line and background info, it’s time to tell the perfect story about the groom. Depending on the length of your speech and the details of your story, some best man speeches cover 1 to 3 short stories. 

Reference back to the memories you wrote when brainstorming. Pick a story that includes the most of these captivating elements:

• A little bit of embarrassment : Whether it’s you, the groom, or a mutual friend, it helps to poke some fun at someone in the story. If you fear being offensive, the best person to joke about is yourself.  
• Audience member references : You can get major bonus points if you bring wedding guests into the storytelling moment. You might say, “Mom, you might want to close your ears on this one!” or, “Brian, we’re talking about you!” 
• Sensory details : What did the scenery look like? What were the prominent smells, sounds, and tastes at the moment? A great story should make the audience feel like they were with you. Don’t forget to mention the frigid cold lake you jumped into or the outrageously spicy food that left you both panting and crying for water. 
• A final punch line : Ideally, the best story ends with a shocking moment or funny line. It should leave the audience laughing, crying, surprised, or even gasping. For example, in an epic adventure story about you and the groom on a hunting trip, you may end with, “Just as the shark was about to bite the line, Joe reeled in the massive bluefin and yelled, ‘I think we’re gonna need a bigger boat!’”

Pro Tip : If you have to ask, “Is this appropriate?” it probably isn’t. Some stories are better for late-night beers than they are for weddings. Avoid telling stories related to sexual topics, drugs, alcohol, illegal activities, or anything you wouldn’t want grandma to hear. 

#6 Take-home message

When the story finishes, you’ve hopefully elicited some laughter or maybe some tears. All jokes aside, there is a reason you were the best man, and you are probably a significant person to the groom. This is a great time to emphasize the best qualities of the groom and why you’re so happy for his new love. 

Here is an excellent example of tying together the opening and closing lines with a heartfelt message about finding the perfect soul mate:

#7 End your speech with a heartfelt toast

We’ve all heard “let’s raise a glass to [Bride] and [Groom]” before. You can do better than that! The final toast is like the fireworks at the end of your best man speech. Instead of something mediocre, invite the audience to join you in a genuine, thoughtful congratulations. Examples include:

• “Please join me in raising our glasses to the beautiful bride and handsome groom. May your lives together be long, healthy, and happy. We love you so much and are excited for you. Cheers!” 
• “Lift your glasses to thank Mr. and Mrs. [Bride’s Parents] for hosting this beautiful wedding. Let us all toast to the perfect union of the bride and groom. We wish you a bright and beautiful future. Cheers!”
• “Here’s to the past, for all you’ve learned. Here’s to the present for this beautiful moment we all share. Here’s to the future for all you’ve got to look forward to. Cheers to the happy couple!” 

Pro Tip : Make your toast inclusive and communal, so the audience feels like they’re cheering for the couple with you. Use words like “we”, “lets”, and “us”. This congratulation invites them to join as if you are speaking on their behalf. 

#8 Use a best man speech template

A template makes things simple if you’re still feeling uneasy about writing your best man speech. You can take the structure of an example speech and incorporate your ideas and stories to make it your own. 

Best man speech example for a best friend :  

“Tonight, you’ll learn why the groom was destined to marry [Bride]. The year was 2002, and we were all in a bar with friends on New Year’s Eve in New York City. Snow was falling outside, and we were sipping champagne, waiting for the big ball to drop. Seemingly out of nowhere, a woman with a red dress entered the room, and everything seemed to stop. All the bachelors in our group were captivated, but only [Groom] had the guts to walk up to her. Rumor has it that his first opening line was ‘

Everyone talks about a woman’s glow when she’s falling in love, but I swear that [Groom] was smiling from ear to ear from the second they met. We could hardly get him to stop talking about her by the following week. We’d be watching football and drinking beers only to have [Bride’s] name brought up every 5 minutes. 

Fast forward 3 years, and we’ve all seen how much [Bride] has positively impacted his life. When he came to me to tell me he was proposing, my only response was, ‘ Finally, dude !’

There’s something extra special about these two. They go together like peanut butter and jelly. They love and respect each other so much. [Bride] was the one for [Groom] from the second they locked eyes in that hazy NYC bar. We are all so happy to be here for your big day. Let’s raise our glasses to the beautiful bride and groom! Cheers!” 

Another Best man speech example for a best friend :  

“The groom was the first friend I made on the high school basketball team. He wasn’t very good [pause for laughter]. I was the tallest player and obviously had the best free throw, but I was majorly lacking in the ladies department. Thankfully, [Groom] took me under his wing and showed me how to be a true gentleman. That includes opening doors for women and carrying their bags instead of just running in with my own. What would I have done without you, man?

Even though he was no good at basketball, [Groom] always had his head on his shoulders. He’s a respectful, intelligent, and relatively clean-cut guy. All joking aside, it’s no surprise that he ended up with a woman as intelligent and beautiful as [Bride]. You both deserve a lifetime of love, happiness, and success together. Please raise your glasses and join me in congratulating the bride and groom! We love you!” 

#9 Practice your body language

Public speaking isn’t only about what you say but how you carry yourself. Your body language can drastically affect your confidence, your delivery, and how the audience perceives you. Use these body language hacks to take your speech to the next level: 

• Signal “friend” : Smile and show your open palms to send the message that you are the audience’s friend. This makes people feel more comfortable with your presence and more likely to listen.
• Stand up straight : When you look confident, you also feel more confident. Check your posture if your voice is a little shaky before the speech. Roll back your shoulders and tuck your shoulder blades down towards your back. Slightly lift your chest and chin as you speak. 
• Make eye contact: Throughout the speech, you should change your eye contact with different audience members. As you mention specific compliments or thanks, make eye contact with the bride, groom, groomsmen, bridesmaids, and the bride’s father.
• Genuinely smile : Smiling may seem obvious, but it’s easy to forget when you feel so focused on a perfect delivery. At the same time, you don’t want to look like you’re fake smiling throughout the speech. Use these 9 Simple Tips to Smile Better (in any situation!)
• Use your hands : It’s easy to let your nerves get the best of you and feel like a “deer in the headlights.” Instead of tucking your hands in your pockets, widen your stance and take up space. Use your hands and gestures while you talk to show that you are comfortable and happy during the speech. 

Want more tips? Here are 17 Body Language Presentation Cues to Use in Your Next Speech . 

#10 Rehearse before the big day

Experts say you should rehearse a speech 10 times before performing it. Research also shows that people who mentally prepare themselves before a speech by imagining it going well are more likely to perform fluently and easily. So before you get in front of an audience, be sure you’ve gone over your speech at least 10 times, either in your head or out loud. Better yet, practice in the mirror, on camera, or in front of a trusted friend. 

It also helps to review the gist of the speech with the groom (without giving away any secret details) to make sure it’s alright with him. A few weeks before the wedding, you may pull him aside and ask, “Hey man, is it OK if I tell the story about ____ in my best man speech? I think it’ll get some good laughs.” 

Although this example is long, this best man very clearly rehearsed his speech for a near-perfect performance without any notes:

Key Takeaways: Express Gratitude and Sentimentality in 3-5 Minutes

Ultimately, a best man speech is an opportunity to make your best bro look good in front of all his friends and family. Your speech should demonstrate how much you value your brotherhood or friendship. At the same time, you can enjoy 5 minutes of wedding fame without making things all about you. A great toast can make you a memorable celebrity at the wedding and have people laughing at your

Before jumping up at the reception and speaking off the cuff, remember to:

• Outline and plan your speech ahead of time. Use notecards if needed.
• Focus on the groom and his bride. Don’t go on and on about yourself. 
• Nail the opening line with a funny joke, quote, or teaser that leads into a great story. 
• Avoid inappropriate or cringey topics that could embarrass the groom.
• Express gratitude to the groom and wedding hosts. 

Giving a toast or speech is an essential social skill that can make you one of the most likable people in a room. If you want to learn more about the art of giving showstopping toasts, read this guide on How to Give an Awesome Toast: Advanced Strategies for Speeches . 

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30 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches

Handy one-liners to make the guests lol.

If you've read our post on how to make a great best man speech , you'll know that we recommend starting with a joke, and here, we're sharing 30 foolproof examples! The beauty of this list is that it works for any wedding speech, whether you're a groom, bride, best man, bridesmaid, groomsman, bridesman, groomsmaid, father of the bride, father of the groom, mother of the bride, mother of the groom, granny or grandad, or just a close pal with a knack for public speaking! Boasting everything from eye roll-worthy classics to offbeat gags, our round-up of funny opening lines for wedding speeches is sure to have something to suit your personal style, and many of them can be customised to pack an even bigger punch on the day. Kick off with one of these gems, and you'll not only put the audience at ease, you'll set yourself up for a terrific wedding speech!

25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches

Note: [Name] can indicate yourself, the bride/groom, the couple as a whole, or another member of the bridal party!

1. “Gosh, what an emotional day it’s been. Even the cake is in tiers!”

2. “Hi everyone! I’m [Name] and it’s time for me to give the speech I frantically scribbled down 15 minutes ago!”

3. "The couple have requested that I don't share any embarrassing stories... so that's it from me! Thanks for listening!"

4. "[Name], I love you so much, and I really hope you'll feel the same about me after you hear my speech."

5. "I just want to start by congratulating [previous speaker's Name] on their wonderful speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I couldn't follow a word of it."

6. "The couple actually had a bit of trouble finding someone to make a speech today. They started by asking their funniest friend, and they said no. Then they asked their most charming friend, and they said no. After that, they asked their best-looking friend and, again, they said no. Then they asked me, and, after already turning them down three times, I couldn't refuse again."

7. "Ladies and gentlemen, today we witnessed a unique event in history - it's the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted me to give a speech!"

8. "[Name] and I share the same sense of humour, so if you don't like my jokes, you can blame them!"

9. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to celebrate something truly magical. Something so rare and fortuitous and wonderful that it simply must be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the open bar/donut wall/photo booth/[Name] wearing a tie ."

10. "Where do I start with [Name]? They're kind, intelligent, gorgeous, charming... [directed at them] sorry, I'm having trouble reading your writing, you'll have to tell me the rest later."

11. "I think we can all agree that it's been a fantastic day. But unfortunately that ends right here with my speech."

12. "Loyal. Kind. Honest. Generous... That's enough about me, I'm here to talk about [Name]!"

13. "I'd like to begin my speech by giving the happy couple some relationship advice, but unfortunately I'm single and spend most of my time trying to coax my cat into little outfits/browsing Doctor Who fan sites/playing Rock Paper Scissors with Alexa."

14. "A few months ago, [Name] called me up and asked, 'What are your feelings on marriage?' I had to tell them that, while I was very flattered, I wasn't ready to settle down just yet."

15. "Can everyone hear me OK? If you can't hear me in the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you're not missing anything."

16. "Hello everyone! I'm [Name]. I'm sure you all know me as (Name's best friend/sister/mum/dad), but if you don't, well done on sneaking into the wedding unnoticed!"

17. "Before I begin, I must explain that, this morning, [Name] asked me to remove anything resembling innuendo from my speech. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to go through it again, but if I come across anything risqué, I'll whip it out immediately."

18. "[Name] knows that I'm a bit nervous about this speech, and they gave me some great advice. They said 'Don't try to be too charming, witty or intellectual... just be yourself!'"

19. "All of us gathered together in this room, we've got something really important in common - none of us have got a clue what I'm going to say next!"

20. "I was told that the secret to a good speech is to start with something that's relevant to everyone in the audience. So here it goes - all of your cars have been stolen."

21. "I want to start by saying that, of all the weddings I've attended over the years, this one is, by far, the most recent."

22. "I'd like to start by congratulating [Name] on their excellent taste... in speakers."

23. "Before we start, can everybody do me a favour and get up off their seats? Now can everyone take one step backward, please? Now can everyone move one step to the right? And now can everyone move one step left? Thank you. Someone told me that the key to giving a good speech was to move people, but I think they must have been having me on, because this is going terribly!"

24. "I'm so happy to be overseeing the only five minutes of today that [bride or groom's Name] didn't plan. Only joking, they went over my speech with me at the bar half an hour ago. [Pulls extra page out of pocket] But I did manage to hide one page!"

25. Guys, before I start, just some housekeeping notes, the venue has asked that you don't stand on any of the chairs and tables for my standing ovation."

26 . I sincerely hope that each day of [Insert names] marriage is better than the the one before, the only thing is that also means they'll look back on today, their wedding day, and say that it was the worst day of their lives.

27. I’ve been worried about giving this speech for a while now. You'll be glad to hear, that last night I slept like a baby. I woke up every two hours, bawling my eyes out.

28. Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum. I’m terribly hungover. I know, you shouldn’t drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn’t very well let the groom/bride drink alone, could I?

29. Just some last messages here to read out: one from [NAME’S] football team for [PARTNER] " Apologies we couldn’t all be there today, good luck with [NAME], we found him/her to be useless in most positions, but wishing you all the best for tonight ."

30. Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments of silence in memory of the 3,000 prawns, 250 chickens, and the many, many carnations, roses and wedding coordinators who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible.

Found your opening line for your wedding speech? We also have a handy checklist of people you need to remember to thank !

Image credits

Marc lawson photography, via one fab day, see more in:.

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